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Anon buys bananas | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous You 05/06/21(Thu)09:51:35 No.63544548 "But if we crash the economy we will both drown" said the frog "lol" said the scorpion, "Imao" Untitled17_20210131140506.png 251 KB PNG >working fast food >Run out of bananas >Manager send me to walmart "buy five bananas" >Buy five bananas >Get yelled at because he wanted 5 hands of bananas.
: Anonymous You 05/06/21(Thu)09:51:35 No.63544548 "But if we crash the economy we will both drown" said the frog "lol" said the scorpion, "Imao" Untitled17_20210131140506.png 251 KB PNG >working fast food >Run out of bananas >Manager send me to walmart "buy five bananas" >Buy five bananas >Get yelled at because he wanted 5 hands of bananas.

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Concealing or Revealing Heritage | /r/Greentext

19m (9/21 0:09). 74801643 1 Re - 0 Img JPG 34KB (736 × 736) 44f1a4da5cb1ace468af2346420c749f.jp g Flirting with the devil I'll keep it short: > be me > work as a photographer in free time > event with influencial people > cute waitress : > asks for my number > pretty surprised, give it to her, thinking because of pictures > sent her pictures couple of days later > asks for my private instagram > even I get that she's interested > look at her pictures > oh f--- > full on Ukrainian nationalist > posts pictures with firearms, brass knucks and wants to eradicate Russia > I am half German half Russian > could use some bedroom action though Will I put my family's life at risk, when she finds out about my heritage? The f--- do I do now?
19m (9/21 0:09). 74801643 1 Re - 0 Img JPG 34KB (736 × 736) 44f1a4da5cb1ace468af2346420c749f.jp g Flirting with the devil I'll keep it short: > be me > work as a photographer in free time > event with influencial people > cute waitress : > asks for my number > pretty surprised, give it to her, thinking because of pictures > sent her pictures couple of days later > asks for my private instagram > even I get that she's interested > look at her pictures > oh f--- > full on Ukrainian nationalist > posts pictures with firearms, brass knucks and wants to eradicate Russia > I am half German half Russian > could use some bedroom action though Will I put my family's life at risk, when she finds out about my heritage? The f--- do I do now?

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The Self-Obsession | /r/Greentext

17m (9/21 12:27). 906417376 1 Re - 0 Img PNG 1MB (908 × 990) Screenshot 2023-09-21 at 2.56.38 AM.png i might have developed a new fetish? >be me >have older sister >get bored one night >idea.png >put on her old prom dress from 2010ish >i actually kind of look like a girl if i ignore my face >get turned on by my own reflection >finna jerk it >post nut clarity so bad it makes me cry does this make me a f-----?? :
17m (9/21 12:27). 906417376 1 Re - 0 Img PNG 1MB (908 × 990) Screenshot 2023-09-21 at 2.56.38 AM.png i might have developed a new fetish? >be me >have older sister >get bored one night >idea.png >put on her old prom dress from 2010ish >i actually kind of look like a girl if i ignore my face >get turned on by my own reflection >finna jerk it >post nut clarity so bad it makes me cry does this make me a f-----?? :

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yet another weird sex tale from 4chan | /r/Greentext

BITCH 481 KB PNG Alright funny sex tale >Be me at 24 >with my ex gf, she's giving me a h------ in my bedroom >She starts to speed up, lube all over lol >She's going really f------ fast and accidentally hits my balls with the force of a ford f-150 >l yell "oh f---!" And she says sorry >She gives me a sec and so I suck on her t--- for a min while she talks dirty >She talks a bit too loudly which worries me because I couldn't remember if anyone else was home >She starts stroking me off again and this time I climax >I'm so f------ tired that I can't really function so she goes to the bathroom to grab me paper towels >It's a jack and Jill bath with a toilet in a separate door >She opens the door to the toilet and my roommate is jerking off >She screams (and she's also still topless) >I freak out and realize we weren't alone >Homie was cranking it to my gf and I's fun >ffw a few hours >Eating del taco in dining room with Gf, roommate comes back in >he apologizes and we all laugh but it's still f------ awkward for days The funniest part? This happened twice more, he's not my roommate anymore for good reason, turns out he wanted her to walk in on him and they ended up f------ behind my back.. I hate my life
BITCH 481 KB PNG Alright funny sex tale >Be me at 24 >with my ex gf, she's giving me a h------ in my bedroom >She starts to speed up, lube all over lol >She's going really f------ fast and accidentally hits my balls with the force of a ford f-150 >l yell "oh f---!" And she says sorry >She gives me a sec and so I suck on her t--- for a min while she talks dirty >She talks a bit too loudly which worries me because I couldn't remember if anyone else was home >She starts stroking me off again and this time I climax >I'm so f------ tired that I can't really function so she goes to the bathroom to grab me paper towels >It's a jack and Jill bath with a toilet in a separate door >She opens the door to the toilet and my roommate is jerking off >She screams (and she's also still topless) >I freak out and realize we weren't alone >Homie was cranking it to my gf and I's fun >ffw a few hours >Eating del taco in dining room with Gf, roommate comes back in >he apologizes and we all laugh but it's still f------ awkward for days The funniest part? This happened twice more, he's not my roommate anymore for good reason, turns out he wanted her to walk in on him and they ended up f------ behind my back.. I hate my life

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Anon is a psycho | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/12/18(Mon)13:09:35 No.43157177 267 KB PNG >go to mcslaves >ask for bigmac with cheese. >get meal, sit down for a minute >everything is in order >stand back up and go back to wagie that served me. >ask him what the f--- he was thinking and demand to speak to manager >wagie is visibly scared but calls them over. >tell manager that I specifically asked for bigmac without milk as I am very allergic to dairy. >manager is fuming at wagie. >told manager that wagie laughed when he gave me order. >Manager offered to pay for my meal but I insisted that I pay for it. >manager demands wagie go to his office. >I can hear shouting as I leave. Today was good.
Anonymous 02/12/18(Mon)13:09:35 No.43157177 267 KB PNG >go to mcslaves >ask for bigmac with cheese. >get meal, sit down for a minute >everything is in order >stand back up and go back to wagie that served me. >ask him what the f--- he was thinking and demand to speak to manager >wagie is visibly scared but calls them over. >tell manager that I specifically asked for bigmac without milk as I am very allergic to dairy. >manager is fuming at wagie. >told manager that wagie laughed when he gave me order. >Manager offered to pay for my meal but I insisted that I pay for it. >manager demands wagie go to his office. >I can hear shouting as I leave. Today was good.

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Anon is done with life | /r/Greentext

20200915_150126.jpg 2.56 MB JPG utterly soulless sketch i did after f------ a prostitute my life feels empty
20200915_150126.jpg 2.56 MB JPG utterly soulless sketch i did after f------ a prostitute my life feels empty

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Anon takes a shit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >be me >haven't s--- in days >feel urge >go to toilet >sit down and prepare for hell >push slightly >HolyFuck.JPG >a------ gaped larger than nuclear crater >remember god gives his toughest battles to his strongest warriors >muster strength and push with the force of a million suns 31 KB JPG 06/19/21 (Sat)10:36:53 No.857190919 >incredible pain >Plop.MP3 >relief >look at turd >wider than my hand >mfw i am gods strongest warrior
: Anonymous >be me >haven't s--- in days >feel urge >go to toilet >sit down and prepare for hell >push slightly >HolyFuck.JPG >a------ gaped larger than nuclear crater >remember god gives his toughest battles to his strongest warriors >muster strength and push with the force of a million suns 31 KB JPG 06/19/21 (Sat)10:36:53 No.857190919 >incredible pain >Plop.MP3 >relief >look at turd >wider than my hand >mfw i am gods strongest warrior

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Incredible India | /r/Greentext

1h (9/21 8:50). 74806891 5 Re - 0 Img PNG 35KB (1200 x 800) Flag_of_India.svg.png : >tfw you were the greatest civilization on earth >tfw white people came and ruined your thousands years civilization >tfw Chineses, Arabs, Slavs, Western don't take you seriously anymore even some African countries look down on you >tfw you keep saying you are superpower but deep down you know you will never recover the golden age What did they do to deserve this fate?
1h (9/21 8:50). 74806891 5 Re - 0 Img PNG 35KB (1200 x 800) Flag_of_India.svg.png : >tfw you were the greatest civilization on earth >tfw white people came and ruined your thousands years civilization >tfw Chineses, Arabs, Slavs, Western don't take you seriously anymore even some African countries look down on you >tfw you keep saying you are superpower but deep down you know you will never recover the golden age What did they do to deserve this fate?

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The illusion of choice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 69169 09/20/23(Wed)19:40:11 No.651529020 TT RB.jpg 191 KB JPG >the plant pokemon, throw leaves and seeds at the opponent's pokemon >the water pokemon, it'll moisten the enemy and blow bubbles at them >the fire pokemon, f------ incinerates its enemies with blazing hot flames Wow, what a difficult decision to make.
: Anonymous 69169 09/20/23(Wed)19:40:11 No.651529020 TT RB.jpg 191 KB JPG >the plant pokemon, throw leaves and seeds at the opponent's pokemon >the water pokemon, it'll moisten the enemy and blow bubbles at them >the fire pokemon, f------ incinerates its enemies with blazing hot flames Wow, what a difficult decision to make.

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The Love Experiment | /r/Greentext

b, w-- do I do? 10s (9/20 22:11).906382942 0 Re - 0 Img JPG 37KB (680 × 535) 81e.jpg >Be me >Be smarter than average midwit >Have gf >Gf is not even a midwit but she does well in psychology even though she isn't that good in using it >Pretend to be really stupid in psychology to make her feel better : >For a year this works fine >Recently, we have been arguing a lot because "I've not picked up on things" or "improved myself" >Every time she brings up how she is "really smart" in psychology and that I am really bad even though I'm really good with everything else >Pretend she's right and knows what she's saying and moves on even when it is completely wrong and autistic I can't keep pretending to be so psychologically retarded but if I do it would break her confidence. What the f--- do I do, guys? I don't want to lose her but I can't keep this up.
b, w-- do I do? 10s (9/20 22:11).906382942 0 Re - 0 Img JPG 37KB (680 × 535) 81e.jpg >Be me >Be smarter than average midwit >Have gf >Gf is not even a midwit but she does well in psychology even though she isn't that good in using it >Pretend to be really stupid in psychology to make her feel better : >For a year this works fine >Recently, we have been arguing a lot because "I've not picked up on things" or "improved myself" >Every time she brings up how she is "really smart" in psychology and that I am really bad even though I'm really good with everything else >Pretend she's right and knows what she's saying and moves on even when it is completely wrong and autistic I can't keep pretending to be so psychologically retarded but if I do it would break her confidence. What the f--- do I do, guys? I don't want to lose her but I can't keep this up.

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The Momifesto | /r/Greentext

2h (9/20 16:28) - 74798382 1 Re - 0 Img JPG 62KB (848 × 621) tumblr_a04bfc7175409bd8156777ecc7c 2fec8_a20360f4_1280.jpg My mom >fidgets her bracelet >worships fidget cube >sometimes goes outside and drives her car somewhere when she loses an argument with my dad >bad driver >diagnosed aspie Coincidence? >sometimes walks with arms like picrel >obsessed on South Korea Me ●●● :
2h (9/20 16:28) - 74798382 1 Re - 0 Img JPG 62KB (848 × 621) tumblr_a04bfc7175409bd8156777ecc7c 2fec8_a20360f4_1280.jpg My mom >fidgets her bracelet >worships fidget cube >sometimes goes outside and drives her car somewhere when she loses an argument with my dad >bad driver >diagnosed aspie Coincidence? >sometimes walks with arms like picrel >obsessed on South Korea Me ●●● :

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Anon Thinks That the Creator of Gravity Falls Really Dropped Off | /r/Greentext

File: 1665763646857.png (676 KB, 600x600) www. ☐ Anonymous 09/08/23(Fri)06:44:28 No.139295542 ► >>139295607 >>139295813 >>139295840 >>139295850 >>139295888 >>139295970 >>139296073 >>139296079 >>139296095 >>139296147 >>139297559 >>139298451 >>139298492 >>139298981 >>139299148 >>139299545 >>139299592 >>139299746 >>139299896 >>139300082 >>139300965 >>139301014 >>139303648 >>139304610 >>139304830 >>139304995 >>139305082 >>139305204 >>139305218 >>139305344 >>139307655 >>139307782 >>139307858 >>139309740 >>139309771 So this is a TLDR of Alex Hirsch's upcoming cartoon show which is supposedly still in the works >The main characters are a teen girl named Mel, a kid named Larvin (possibly related to Mel) and a teen boy named Wyatt >They all seem to live in a rundown town called Lighthouse Bluff >The first episode/pilot "Lost in Lighthouse Bluff" is about them acquiring a cheap retro TV which due to mysterious circumstances, becomes alive >There is another world/universe called the "Otherverse" which is a barren land where lost or forgotten items "glitch" to, and also a place where people apparently also live >Monsters might also exist in this world because another concept art of some maze goblins inhabit >Based on all the available information the series most likely follows our protagonists discovering the mysteries of the Otherverse, akin to Dipper discovering the mysteries of the journals in Gravity Falls Well? Thoughts on Alex Hirsch's new show? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=00yMN_VypWo [Embed] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39eAoZbl_ew https://desuarchive.org/co/thread/139290265/ [Embed] ☐ Anonymous 09/08/23(Fri)07:07:01 No.139295970 ► >>139296012 >>139296032 >>139298548 >>139298824>>139299523 >>139301383 >>139301531 >>139295542 (OP) >>139295917 why why why did the kid need to be a gross stupid retarded obese fatso? ☐ Anonymous 09/08/23(Fri)07:09:19 No. 139296012 ► >>139295970 How else would viewers relate to him?
File: 1665763646857.png (676 KB, 600x600) www. ☐ Anonymous 09/08/23(Fri)06:44:28 No.139295542 ► >>139295607 >>139295813 >>139295840 >>139295850 >>139295888 >>139295970 >>139296073 >>139296079 >>139296095 >>139296147 >>139297559 >>139298451 >>139298492 >>139298981 >>139299148 >>139299545 >>139299592 >>139299746 >>139299896 >>139300082 >>139300965 >>139301014 >>139303648 >>139304610 >>139304830 >>139304995 >>139305082 >>139305204 >>139305218 >>139305344 >>139307655 >>139307782 >>139307858 >>139309740 >>139309771 So this is a TLDR of Alex Hirsch's upcoming cartoon show which is supposedly still in the works >The main characters are a teen girl named Mel, a kid named Larvin (possibly related to Mel) and a teen boy named Wyatt >They all seem to live in a rundown town called Lighthouse Bluff >The first episode/pilot "Lost in Lighthouse Bluff" is about them acquiring a cheap retro TV which due to mysterious circumstances, becomes alive >There is another world/universe called the "Otherverse" which is a barren land where lost or forgotten items "glitch" to, and also a place where people apparently also live >Monsters might also exist in this world because another concept art of some maze goblins inhabit >Based on all the available information the series most likely follows our protagonists discovering the mysteries of the Otherverse, akin to Dipper discovering the mysteries of the journals in Gravity Falls Well? Thoughts on Alex Hirsch's new show? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=00yMN_VypWo [Embed] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39eAoZbl_ew https://desuarchive.org/co/thread/139290265/ [Embed] ☐ Anonymous 09/08/23(Fri)07:07:01 No.139295970 ► >>139296012 >>139296032 >>139298548 >>139298824>>139299523 >>139301383 >>139301531 >>139295542 (OP) >>139295917 why why why did the kid need to be a gross stupid retarded obese fatso? ☐ Anonymous 09/08/23(Fri)07:09:19 No. 139296012 ► >>139295970 How else would viewers relate to him?

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We were played, boys | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 20 minutes ago >be me, ~18 years ago >8yo autist >love spongebob >worship every new episode >bandgeeks.jpg >sweet victory.mp3 >love the song >great s--- >be me >now >song teased for weeks >hyped for halftime show >watch it >no spongebob 791746617 W-- NFL, i thought you guys were cool. f--- this s---, never get your hopes up
Anonymous 20 minutes ago >be me, ~18 years ago >8yo autist >love spongebob >worship every new episode >bandgeeks.jpg >sweet victory.mp3 >love the song >great s--- >be me >now >song teased for weeks >hyped for halftime show >watch it >no spongebob 791746617 W-- NFL, i thought you guys were cool. f--- this s---, never get your hopes up

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Legal Trouble | /r/Greentext

NLK2SHYK DE 3h (9/20 14:53). 18736093 5 Re-1 Img JPG 9KB (243 x 208) IMG_3031.jpg tifu showing police a card trick >be me : >smoke weed daily >drive (sober tho) >police wants me to follow them > make urine test, the positive >imfucked.jpg >get driven to police station >the cops take all my data, even take pics of all my tattoos >get asked what that one tattoo means >it's for a magic trick, I show them >they put me in handcuffs >they take a pic of me with the handcuffs on (1 asked them for that) >they let me go
NLK2SHYK DE 3h (9/20 14:53). 18736093 5 Re-1 Img JPG 9KB (243 x 208) IMG_3031.jpg tifu showing police a card trick >be me : >smoke weed daily >drive (sober tho) >police wants me to follow them > make urine test, the positive >imfucked.jpg >get driven to police station >the cops take all my data, even take pics of all my tattoos >get asked what that one tattoo means >it's for a magic trick, I show them >they put me in handcuffs >they take a pic of me with the handcuffs on (1 asked them for that) >they let me go

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anon makes a fake story. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/20/23(Wed)22:29:28 No.906389577 File: pepepepeep.png (190 KB, 599x513) >Be me >make bet with friend >who can be rejected me most wins. >we somehow had quite a few Instagrams of woman. >Friend asks out the pretty ones, till he gets to the out of shape ones. >All of them are really busy, have tests to do, or are booked out for the next 10 centuries. >I start, asked cute greek girl out, She says yes, and asks when. >w--.png >tell her tomorrow we can go for a walk. >move onto next girl also cute, and beautify tanned, ask if she wants to watch a movie with me. >She also says yes. >On no... >Say i have the weekend. >Message the next girl, a fairly shy stem student. Who just rejected my friend. >ask if she wants to join me for a coffee. >She also agrees, and says she has this afternoon. Anons, what the hell just happened? im out $15 and god knows how much the dates will cost. Im really confused. Maybe my looks were not the issue maybe it was confidence?
Anonymous 08/20/23(Wed)22:29:28 No.906389577 File: pepepepeep.png (190 KB, 599x513) >Be me >make bet with friend >who can be rejected me most wins. >we somehow had quite a few Instagrams of woman. >Friend asks out the pretty ones, till he gets to the out of shape ones. >All of them are really busy, have tests to do, or are booked out for the next 10 centuries. >I start, asked cute greek girl out, She says yes, and asks when. >w--.png >tell her tomorrow we can go for a walk. >move onto next girl also cute, and beautify tanned, ask if she wants to watch a movie with me. >She also says yes. >On no... >Say i have the weekend. >Message the next girl, a fairly shy stem student. Who just rejected my friend. >ask if she wants to join me for a coffee. >She also agrees, and says she has this afternoon. Anons, what the hell just happened? im out $15 and god knows how much the dates will cost. Im really confused. Maybe my looks were not the issue maybe it was confidence?

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Anon has a Switch | /r/Greentext

TUDM IMG_01849.jpg 135 KB JPG The controller for the Switch is really pissing me off. Are there any sales or discounts for the pro one or any third party controller that works? This is retarded and I can't play monster hunter properly.
TUDM IMG_01849.jpg 135 KB JPG The controller for the Switch is really pissing me off. Are there any sales or discounts for the pro one or any third party controller that works? This is retarded and I can't play monster hunter properly.

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