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Anon is leaving | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 7 KB JPG 07/10/18(Tue)00:20:24 No.46690368 >switch telephone company Later, Virgin. 13 Replies / 3 Images View Thread
Anonymous 7 KB JPG 07/10/18(Tue)00:20:24 No.46690368 >switch telephone company Later, Virgin. 13 Replies / 3 Images View Thread

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YouTuber face reveal | /r/Greentext

TERD M6910 Adobe_20221002_191656.png 338 KB PNG >100+ million subs on YouTube >Millions of fans who are constantly horny >Face reveal today >It's literally an average white dude as we all were expecting Was it worth losing your father over?
TERD M6910 Adobe_20221002_191656.png 338 KB PNG >100+ million subs on YouTube >Millions of fans who are constantly horny >Face reveal today >It's literally an average white dude as we all were expecting Was it worth losing your father over?

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anon gets a dog | /r/Greentext

47 KB JPG >Be me, 24, wagecuck >New job in a new city where I know nobody >Work is OK and I like my colleagues, but outside of work I'm pretty lonely >Sad.jpg >Pandemic starts and we all work from home so I don't really interact with anyone any more. >Employer decides to ditch the office and we all work at home permanently now. >Isolated and depressed, so decide to adopt a dog from the rescue shelter >It's the derpiest looking thing I've ever seen and has a stupid underbite, but I love that furry moron straight away. >Pick good routes to walk dog for an hour each morning and evening (different routes since I don't want dog fren to get bored) >See Chad running regularly on one of the routes in the morning and he says Hi to me but I either mumble in his direction or ignore him >One day after lockdowns have finished, he stops me to talk about the dog and pays him lots of attention >Chad is actually OK, and it turns out he's a neighbour of mine. >See him several more times and then invites me to hang out with him and his friends at a BBQ. >I go, and there's a whole group of people about my age, who seem normal, and that seems... fine. >Hang out with that group regularly now >Have friends >Feel better than ever. >Have I become a normie, or have I just been accepted by the normies? >Either way, thanks dog fren
47 KB JPG >Be me, 24, wagecuck >New job in a new city where I know nobody >Work is OK and I like my colleagues, but outside of work I'm pretty lonely >Sad.jpg >Pandemic starts and we all work from home so I don't really interact with anyone any more. >Employer decides to ditch the office and we all work at home permanently now. >Isolated and depressed, so decide to adopt a dog from the rescue shelter >It's the derpiest looking thing I've ever seen and has a stupid underbite, but I love that furry moron straight away. >Pick good routes to walk dog for an hour each morning and evening (different routes since I don't want dog fren to get bored) >See Chad running regularly on one of the routes in the morning and he says Hi to me but I either mumble in his direction or ignore him >One day after lockdowns have finished, he stops me to talk about the dog and pays him lots of attention >Chad is actually OK, and it turns out he's a neighbour of mine. >See him several more times and then invites me to hang out with him and his friends at a BBQ. >I go, and there's a whole group of people about my age, who seem normal, and that seems... fine. >Hang out with that group regularly now >Have friends >Feel better than ever. >Have I become a normie, or have I just been accepted by the normies? >Either way, thanks dog fren

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Anon makes lemonade | /r/Greentext

7EEDA043-DC23-4D10-90DD-F854EA78636B.jpg 2.64 MB JPG >>396951800 # Been at Golden Corral for like 5 hours, probably over 10 full plates of lemons. No one has said anything, love this place. Chinese buffets usually stop me at 3 plates and kick me out.
7EEDA043-DC23-4D10-90DD-F854EA78636B.jpg 2.64 MB JPG >>396951800 # Been at Golden Corral for like 5 hours, probably over 10 full plates of lemons. No one has said anything, love this place. Chinese buffets usually stop me at 3 plates and kick me out.

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Anon is an overachiever | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/02/22(Sun)20:58:48 No.27420938 _.jpg 10 KB JPG >be me >earn black belt at 16 >have multiple gold medals at national level >recently graduated summa c-- laude >been in a committed relationship for over 7 years, and haven't cheated once >able to socialise and make friends, despite having autism >started a successful software company >reasonably fit and in good health >none of these achievements come even close to me beating my drug addiction (haven't done any meth in 8+ years) If some meth-addicted hood rat like me can turn my life around, then so can you.
: Anonymous 10/02/22(Sun)20:58:48 No.27420938 _.jpg 10 KB JPG >be me >earn black belt at 16 >have multiple gold medals at national level >recently graduated summa c-- laude >been in a committed relationship for over 7 years, and haven't cheated once >able to socialise and make friends, despite having autism >started a successful software company >reasonably fit and in good health >none of these achievements come even close to me beating my drug addiction (haven't done any meth in 8+ years) If some meth-addicted hood rat like me can turn my life around, then so can you.

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Anons heart guides him towards the truth | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 211 KB GIF 10/02/22(Sun)12:54:49 No.70431230 >tell myself to lay off the sauce and dry out 2 weeks ago >start working out every day >start eating frozen greens every day >let's get in shape and do better, we're almost 40 >day passes all good >10PM hits >first cool night in 5 or 6 months >going f------ insane for a cold beer >know I will have 20 beers if I have one beer >you can't buy beer after 11 here >drive to grocery store >drive myself insane on whether I should buy beer >decide against it >my entire body is going nuts like I want a beer like you want a c-------- if you quit >go to Cane's and buy a three finger box >eat chicken tenders in car >don't want beer anymore >have a quiet night >>70431338 # were f----- tendies the solution this whole time anons. gonna have to work out more if they are : Anonymous Anon you just replaced stress eating with alcoholism. 10/02/22(Sun)12:56:30 No.70431252
Anonymous 211 KB GIF 10/02/22(Sun)12:54:49 No.70431230 >tell myself to lay off the sauce and dry out 2 weeks ago >start working out every day >start eating frozen greens every day >let's get in shape and do better, we're almost 40 >day passes all good >10PM hits >first cool night in 5 or 6 months >going f------ insane for a cold beer >know I will have 20 beers if I have one beer >you can't buy beer after 11 here >drive to grocery store >drive myself insane on whether I should buy beer >decide against it >my entire body is going nuts like I want a beer like you want a c-------- if you quit >go to Cane's and buy a three finger box >eat chicken tenders in car >don't want beer anymore >have a quiet night >>70431338 # were f----- tendies the solution this whole time anons. gonna have to work out more if they are : Anonymous Anon you just replaced stress eating with alcoholism. 10/02/22(Sun)12:56:30 No.70431252

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Anon fools around and finds out | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 300 KB JPG 10/02/22(Sun)11:26:00 No.886629202 >be me >meet a random girl online >turns out shes f------ hot and has the best body >get to know her more and realised she got her perfect body from starving herself >i flirt with other women while pretending to be loyal to the online girl as she's overseas and a online chick >she figures out >not happy >kills herself
Anonymous 300 KB JPG 10/02/22(Sun)11:26:00 No.886629202 >be me >meet a random girl online >turns out shes f------ hot and has the best body >get to know her more and realised she got her perfect body from starving herself >i flirt with other women while pretending to be loyal to the online girl as she's overseas and a online chick >she figures out >not happy >kills herself

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Anon does some maths | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Be me 115 KB JPG instead 10/14/19(Mon)03:30:02 No.42892771 >walking home one night >Mugger comes out of nowhere >"Give me your wallet!" >Unload my FN Five-seveN on him >Realize that I used 20 rounds of 5.7*28mm ammo MFW it would have been cheaper to just hand over the wallet
Anonymous Be me 115 KB JPG instead 10/14/19(Mon)03:30:02 No.42892771 >walking home one night >Mugger comes out of nowhere >"Give me your wallet!" >Unload my FN Five-seveN on him >Realize that I used 20 rounds of 5.7*28mm ammo MFW it would have been cheaper to just hand over the wallet

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Hero in a half shell | /r/Greentext

10/02/22(Sun)09:06:46 No.70430129 >be me 10 years ago >dumbass 12 year old kid obsessed with teenage mutant ninja turtles >go to the swimming pool one day >insist on screaming COWABUNGA everytime i jump in, and i do it as loud as possible so that everyone sees me and acknowledges how "cool" i am >also a fatty that sucked his stomach in whenever any good looking girl was nearby >go stand by the edge of the pool when suddenly i see a cute girl sitting there >suck my stomach in to the point where i look like toguro >yell COWABUNGA while trying to maintain it, somehow end up winding myself and having a coughing fit and fall into the pool >mfw the lifeguard had to jump in to rescue me i think that was the moment it was all over for me, i still cant even go near that pool again because of the sheer embarrassment i feel recalling the memory : Anonymous 188 KB JPG
10/02/22(Sun)09:06:46 No.70430129 >be me 10 years ago >dumbass 12 year old kid obsessed with teenage mutant ninja turtles >go to the swimming pool one day >insist on screaming COWABUNGA everytime i jump in, and i do it as loud as possible so that everyone sees me and acknowledges how "cool" i am >also a fatty that sucked his stomach in whenever any good looking girl was nearby >go stand by the edge of the pool when suddenly i see a cute girl sitting there >suck my stomach in to the point where i look like toguro >yell COWABUNGA while trying to maintain it, somehow end up winding myself and having a coughing fit and fall into the pool >mfw the lifeguard had to jump in to rescue me i think that was the moment it was all over for me, i still cant even go near that pool again because of the sheer embarrassment i feel recalling the memory : Anonymous 188 KB JPG

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Anon bertemu Chad | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11 KB JPG 06/30/19(Sun)18:45:12 No.51382509 >first time in gym >my very first excercise is bench >next to me are some zoomers and wiggers >they snicker and say to themselves "This dude looks like he sits behind computer 24/7" >About to cry >make up some b------- like im thristy and go to toilets so i can pack and leave >Some dude stops me and say if he can use bench >It's m------------ Chad just like from the memes >say yea >Asks if i will spot him >o-okay >We start to talk he noticed im first timer in the gym >He teaches me lifts we talk for hour and for this whole hour it feels like im safe and protected >Mfw this chad says "see you tomorrow okay? I have leg day and i will teach you deadlifts" My king My liege Is this how chads are? Is this how it feels to die for king? It felt like dream but it was all real. WE WILL MAKE IT!
Anonymous 11 KB JPG 06/30/19(Sun)18:45:12 No.51382509 >first time in gym >my very first excercise is bench >next to me are some zoomers and wiggers >they snicker and say to themselves "This dude looks like he sits behind computer 24/7" >About to cry >make up some b------- like im thristy and go to toilets so i can pack and leave >Some dude stops me and say if he can use bench >It's m------------ Chad just like from the memes >say yea >Asks if i will spot him >o-okay >We start to talk he noticed im first timer in the gym >He teaches me lifts we talk for hour and for this whole hour it feels like im safe and protected >Mfw this chad says "see you tomorrow okay? I have leg day and i will teach you deadlifts" My king My liege Is this how chads are? Is this how it feels to die for king? It felt like dream but it was all real. WE WILL MAKE IT!

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anon works at a museum | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 100 KB JPG 03/25/22 (Fri) 13:01:26 No.875084480 >be me >worked in a s----- museum >gave tours to classes all the time >the work was boring >the museum sucked >you pay $20 to walk around and read, no interactions, nothing but placards and pictures >start on going joke with coworkers >when training new hires for tours we throw in s--- that isn't true >I decide to give George Washington a middle name >I gave the new hire his study materials >have him shadow my tours and keep referring to George Washington as George S. Washington >nobody questions the S. >new hire takes over tours and refers to him with the S >not a single soul questions him while me and my coworkers are trying hard as hell not to laugh >went back 8 years later after with my own kid for her class >went on to tell her how I used to work here when she was a baby >get to part about George >lady giving tours gets to his part and says "George S. Washington was the first president of the United States" >I f------ lost it >all these years have came and gone >and these f---- still call him George S. Washington >ask her what the S. stands for >she says Smith >you don't understand /b/ >I had to leave the museum I was laughing so hard
: Anonymous 100 KB JPG 03/25/22 (Fri) 13:01:26 No.875084480 >be me >worked in a s----- museum >gave tours to classes all the time >the work was boring >the museum sucked >you pay $20 to walk around and read, no interactions, nothing but placards and pictures >start on going joke with coworkers >when training new hires for tours we throw in s--- that isn't true >I decide to give George Washington a middle name >I gave the new hire his study materials >have him shadow my tours and keep referring to George Washington as George S. Washington >nobody questions the S. >new hire takes over tours and refers to him with the S >not a single soul questions him while me and my coworkers are trying hard as hell not to laugh >went back 8 years later after with my own kid for her class >went on to tell her how I used to work here when she was a baby >get to part about George >lady giving tours gets to his part and says "George S. Washington was the first president of the United States" >I f------ lost it >all these years have came and gone >and these f---- still call him George S. Washington >ask her what the S. stands for >she says Smith >you don't understand /b/ >I had to leave the museum I was laughing so hard

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A personal archive | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 23 KB JPG 05/03/19(Fri)18:45:59 No.798875013 Please take a step away from the p--- to read this. >be me >work at taco bell, usually morning shifts >have a regular we all like a lot, named charlie >comes by about 3-5 times a week >same order every time, hell or highwater >>bean burrito, no red sauce, add nacho cheese >>large diet pepsi >>apple empanada >after tax his total is $6.01 >everyone calls him The 601 Guy >very chill dude, drives small red truck, pic related but has big dent in bumper >im mostly at drive thru so i see him most of the time
: Anonymous 23 KB JPG 05/03/19(Fri)18:45:59 No.798875013 Please take a step away from the p--- to read this. >be me >work at taco bell, usually morning shifts >have a regular we all like a lot, named charlie >comes by about 3-5 times a week >same order every time, hell or highwater >>bean burrito, no red sauce, add nacho cheese >>large diet pepsi >>apple empanada >after tax his total is $6.01 >everyone calls him The 601 Guy >very chill dude, drives small red truck, pic related but has big dent in bumper >im mostly at drive thru so i see him most of the time

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Spreadsheets under the bedsheets | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 58 KB JPG 10/02/22(Sun)04:36:44 No.70428484 >get a job as a "Data Analyst" >all I do is update SQL for people and make pivot tables in Excel >working from home 3/4 days a week where I mostly just play videogames You NEETS really have no idea how useless the average normie is.
: Anonymous 58 KB JPG 10/02/22(Sun)04:36:44 No.70428484 >get a job as a "Data Analyst" >all I do is update SQL for people and make pivot tables in Excel >working from home 3/4 days a week where I mostly just play videogames You NEETS really have no idea how useless the average normie is.

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Problem humans? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/28/22(Wed)13:09:59 No.70377616 1664335122333743.jpg 612 KB JPG >sea creature breaks pipeline >humans blame eachother >they all die in ww3 >fish population returns
Anonymous 09/28/22(Wed)13:09:59 No.70377616 1664335122333743.jpg 612 KB JPG >sea creature breaks pipeline >humans blame eachother >they all die in ww3 >fish population returns

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Anon was addicted | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: (2zuVFH5C) 04/17/17(Mon)02: >>121481408 >lay in hospital bed >family is surrounding you >everyone crying >let out your tear >life is flashing through your eyes >50 years of hardcore p--- in 1 millisecond >nut all over everyone >your last words are "s---" >let out last breath >die this is why you all need to stop watching p---.
Anonymous (ID: (2zuVFH5C) 04/17/17(Mon)02: >>121481408 >lay in hospital bed >family is surrounding you >everyone crying >let out your tear >life is flashing through your eyes >50 years of hardcore p--- in 1 millisecond >nut all over everyone >your last words are "s---" >let out last breath >die this is why you all need to stop watching p---.

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Anon questions his sexuality | /r/Greentext

File 62702319.jpg (21 KB, 495x417) ☐ Anonymous 10/02/22(Sun)17:46:31 No.886615825 [Reply] ► >>886615890 Is it gay if you enjoy taking a really big poo? Anonymous 10/02/22(Sun)17:49:11 No.886615890 >>886615825 (OP) Yes Anonymous 10/02/22(Sun)17:50:58 No.886615947 ► Yeah you're gay you have to have gay sex with men now.
File 62702319.jpg (21 KB, 495x417) ☐ Anonymous 10/02/22(Sun)17:46:31 No.886615825 [Reply] ► >>886615890 Is it gay if you enjoy taking a really big poo? Anonymous 10/02/22(Sun)17:49:11 No.886615890 >>886615825 (OP) Yes Anonymous 10/02/22(Sun)17:50:58 No.886615947 ► Yeah you're gay you have to have gay sex with men now.

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Anon gets an unusual name | /r/Greentext

E Anonymous 210 KB PNG 02/25/22(Fri) 19:16:19 No.67576853 >born >parents named me Goobins i never stood a f------ chance in this world 14 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
E Anonymous 210 KB PNG 02/25/22(Fri) 19:16:19 No.67576853 >born >parents named me Goobins i never stood a f------ chance in this world 14 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon has ADHD | /r/Greentext

⠀ onymous one have any funny ADHD sto(...) 174 KB JPG 10/02/22(Sun)08:48:54 No.886617621 >be me, student with ADHD >studying for my Chemistry final >suddenly remember a science joke I heard on Big Bang Theory >immediately go on YouTube and try to find a clip of the moment but no luck >not sure if I remembered the joke wrong or if it just isn't on YouTube >immediately binge watch 7 seasons of Big Bang Theory and eventually find the joke >laugh >fail my Chemistry final
⠀ onymous one have any funny ADHD sto(...) 174 KB JPG 10/02/22(Sun)08:48:54 No.886617621 >be me, student with ADHD >studying for my Chemistry final >suddenly remember a science joke I heard on Big Bang Theory >immediately go on YouTube and try to find a clip of the moment but no luck >not sure if I remembered the joke wrong or if it just isn't on YouTube >immediately binge watch 7 seasons of Big Bang Theory and eventually find the joke >laugh >fail my Chemistry final

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BPD anon is also artistic | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 254 KB JPG 07/04/21(Sun)08:25:34 No.64436821 w--? >add an old friend of mine on Discord >the last few times we spoke, I was really angry at him over nothing (I'm BPD) and was incredibly inflammatory to him >he accepts the friend request >Me: hey >Him: Hey. Don't know what you want, but just know that if you're a d--- again, I'll remove you right away. You ended the friendship so I don't owe you anything anymore. >Me: wah, how scary, what a tough guy you are >I tried sending him another message after that, but I'd already been blocked
Anonymous 254 KB JPG 07/04/21(Sun)08:25:34 No.64436821 w--? >add an old friend of mine on Discord >the last few times we spoke, I was really angry at him over nothing (I'm BPD) and was incredibly inflammatory to him >he accepts the friend request >Me: hey >Him: Hey. Don't know what you want, but just know that if you're a d--- again, I'll remove you right away. You ended the friendship so I don't owe you anything anymore. >Me: wah, how scary, what a tough guy you are >I tried sending him another message after that, but I'd already been blocked

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Anon rejects Stacy | /r/Greentext

طلبا 42 KB JPG >be me >13 >social outcast with no social skills who everyone makes fun of >at a school party >everyone's dancing, I just awkwardly stand there >a stacy from my class comes up to me >asks me to dance with a smug look on her face >autism kicks in >just stand there and stare at her for a solid 5 seconds >then just turn and walk the other way as fast as I can >next day in class >overhear the girl talking with her friends >hear her say that her plan was to embarass me but got embarrassed herself for being rejected by such a lowlife >mfw my autism inadvertently made me look like a chad >take that stacy
طلبا 42 KB JPG >be me >13 >social outcast with no social skills who everyone makes fun of >at a school party >everyone's dancing, I just awkwardly stand there >a stacy from my class comes up to me >asks me to dance with a smug look on her face >autism kicks in >just stand there and stare at her for a solid 5 seconds >then just turn and walk the other way as fast as I can >next day in class >overhear the girl talking with her friends >hear her say that her plan was to embarass me but got embarrassed herself for being rejected by such a lowlife >mfw my autism inadvertently made me look like a chad >take that stacy

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