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The mentalist | /r/Greentext


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Where the weirds roam | /r/Greentext


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If I had a wife | /r/Greentext


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unpleasable | /r/Greentext

45m (12/18 21:41) 75808775 29 Re- 1 Img PNG 14KB (736 × 736) 16975.png 7 Replies • Moids texting; >fck ur so sexy >im so hard rn >ill pound u so hard bby <3 6, Moids at my place; >uhhh idk i feel tired >i-its kinda cold that's why >i NEVER had this happen before Just kys stupid moids.
45m (12/18 21:41) 75808775 29 Re- 1 Img PNG 14KB (736 × 736) 16975.png 7 Replies • Moids texting; >fck ur so sexy >im so hard rn >ill pound u so hard bby <3 6, Moids at my place; >uhhh idk i feel tired >i-its kinda cold that's why >i NEVER had this happen before Just kys stupid moids.

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The quitter | /r/Greentext

53m (12/18 21:36) 75808739 13 Re - 2 Img JPG 21KB (545 × 537) GAqtOrhWMAAbjv8.jpg 4 Replies Bio >be me >internet user >quit social media, it's lame, dying, and bad for me >need somewhere to lurk for news, good posts, etc. >log onto Reddit, front page of the Internet >endless spiral of ragebait and "le hellworld" negativity >parade of heckin wholesome (but also extremely mean-spirited) reposts s------- up my feed >maybe 5 personalities on the whole site >overactive mods who think they're the main characters of the site >quit Reddit >log onto alt-right hate website 4Chan >posts are way better, even the annoying reposts >segmented nature of the site keeps things digestible and on-topic >mods are far more chill and treated with the scorn they generally deserve by the users >bigots are around, but easily ignored in most cases >like the anonymity and lack of corporate-friendly advertising >shockingly welcoming and varied userbase once you get past the initial wave of "f--- off newfag" hazing. This place is a caustic, hostile, bigoted s-------. It's also the only good site left.
53m (12/18 21:36) 75808739 13 Re - 2 Img JPG 21KB (545 × 537) GAqtOrhWMAAbjv8.jpg 4 Replies Bio >be me >internet user >quit social media, it's lame, dying, and bad for me >need somewhere to lurk for news, good posts, etc. >log onto Reddit, front page of the Internet >endless spiral of ragebait and "le hellworld" negativity >parade of heckin wholesome (but also extremely mean-spirited) reposts s------- up my feed >maybe 5 personalities on the whole site >overactive mods who think they're the main characters of the site >quit Reddit >log onto alt-right hate website 4Chan >posts are way better, even the annoying reposts >segmented nature of the site keeps things digestible and on-topic >mods are far more chill and treated with the scorn they generally deserve by the users >bigots are around, but easily ignored in most cases >like the anonymity and lack of corporate-friendly advertising >shockingly welcoming and varied userbase once you get past the initial wave of "f--- off newfag" hazing. This place is a caustic, hostile, bigoted s-------. It's also the only good site left.

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Queen demands | /r/Greentext


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Anon LARPs as a Basketball-American | /r/Greentext


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Anon has a weight-loss program for his girlfriends | /r/Greentext


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Anon is a newbie in the video game world | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Cyberscam 2077 YDERFUNK 80 KB JPG 12/18/23(Mon)19:59:16 No.458421695 >promised as an rpg >released as a s----- action shooter >scammed customers as well as investors in 2020 due to it's unplayable state >took CDPR 1 1/2 half years to make it playable >took 3 years to include something basic like a train system >still not an rpg >suddenly it's praised as GOTY are people giga-retarded?
: Anonymous Cyberscam 2077 YDERFUNK 80 KB JPG 12/18/23(Mon)19:59:16 No.458421695 >promised as an rpg >released as a s----- action shooter >scammed customers as well as investors in 2020 due to it's unplayable state >took CDPR 1 1/2 half years to make it playable >took 3 years to include something basic like a train system >still not an rpg >suddenly it's praised as GOTY are people giga-retarded?

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Anon Frames A Fan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Anonymous Long term gf and I just broke up. This is the best way know to mend a broken heart. Please don't f--- that cat Anonymous 02/20/22(Sun)11:26:45 No.589480359 IMG_004.jpg 114 KB JPG 30 KB JPG 02/20/22(Sun)11:28:03 No.589480495 02/20/22(Sun)11:53:02 No.589482903 Frog wear >framed picture of a f------ fan ing glasse S Why do Americans do weird s--- like this? >>589483034 # >>589483052 # >>589483054 # >>589483098 # >>589483175 # >>589483258 # >>589483285 # >>589483318 # >>589483598 # >>589483697 # >>589483883 # >>589483949 # >>589484438 # >>589484659 # >>589485820 # >>589485864 # >>589486059 # >>589486238 # >>589486254 # >>589486324 # >>589486435 # >>589486564 # >>589486736 # >>589486840 # >>589487067 # >>589487624 # >>589488041 # >>589488357 # >>589488383 # >>589488471 # >>589488587 # >>589488785 # >>589490257 # >>589490358 # >>589490423 # >>589490449 #
: Anonymous Anonymous Long term gf and I just broke up. This is the best way know to mend a broken heart. Please don't f--- that cat Anonymous 02/20/22(Sun)11:26:45 No.589480359 IMG_004.jpg 114 KB JPG 30 KB JPG 02/20/22(Sun)11:28:03 No.589480495 02/20/22(Sun)11:53:02 No.589482903 Frog wear >framed picture of a f------ fan ing glasse S Why do Americans do weird s--- like this? >>589483034 # >>589483052 # >>589483054 # >>589483098 # >>589483175 # >>589483258 # >>589483285 # >>589483318 # >>589483598 # >>589483697 # >>589483883 # >>589483949 # >>589484438 # >>589484659 # >>589485820 # >>589485864 # >>589486059 # >>589486238 # >>589486254 # >>589486324 # >>589486435 # >>589486564 # >>589486736 # >>589486840 # >>589487067 # >>589487624 # >>589488041 # >>589488357 # >>589488383 # >>589488471 # >>589488587 # >>589488785 # >>589490257 # >>589490358 # >>589490423 # >>589490449 #

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Anon does the math | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 96 KB JPG 08/02/21 (Mon) 08:44:21 No.21734413 >be bottom mathematician >be dating top engineer >he gets mad at me when I do unconventional notation like using j for imaginary numbers instead of i or not using leading zeros to represent probability >today me and him went on a hike and we wanted to calculate the mean threshold for optimal slope ravine navigating >when setting up the integral suddenly an epiphany hits me >if dx can be treated as an operative and if integral multiplication among the reals is associative then it shouldn't matter if the dx ends the integral or starts the integral. >put the dx before the integral I got hate f----- so hard that night
: Anonymous 96 KB JPG 08/02/21 (Mon) 08:44:21 No.21734413 >be bottom mathematician >be dating top engineer >he gets mad at me when I do unconventional notation like using j for imaginary numbers instead of i or not using leading zeros to represent probability >today me and him went on a hike and we wanted to calculate the mean threshold for optimal slope ravine navigating >when setting up the integral suddenly an epiphany hits me >if dx can be treated as an operative and if integral multiplication among the reals is associative then it shouldn't matter if the dx ends the integral or starts the integral. >put the dx before the integral I got hate f----- so hard that night

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Anon is hungry | /r/Greentext

File: IMG_4689.jpg (80 KB, 1000x1024) >she knows what is coming >I lean on top of new daddy Anonymous 12/18/23 (Mon)16:45:17 No.75807263 [Reply] ► >3 o clock in the morning >get hungry for chicken tendies >go into mummies room >she is playing wrestling with new daddy >I don't like new daddy >they are playing under the sheets >they don't see me enter the room >he tries to struggle free >I'm 390 lbs of pure blubber >I remove my clothes >I squat beside the bed >a solid mass of brown goodness >I am proud >mummy and new daddy have stopped wrestling >new daddy says "um...d-do you smell something?" >mummy pleads "oh god....oh god please not again" >mummy is well learned in the ways of brown goodness >but new daddy still must learn >he is about to >he's going nowhere >his arms are pinned beneath my might >as I squeeze, I let out several grunts and moans >mummy and new daddy are also grunting and moaning >squeezing hard, I feel my sphincter throb and pulse >double double toil and trouble something wicked this way comes >the brown goodness pours forth from my anus and veers in a sweeping motion slightly to the left and touches the ground >throwing back the sheets >mummy and new daddy look upon my work and despair >new daddy retches at the sight of me standing, now with brown goodness in hand >new daddy screams "is th-that f------ real?!?! I-is that f------ s---??!?!?! >mummy buries her face in her hands in shame >my sphincter closes off, like a valve, sealing my back passage shut >I behold my work >I take my brown goodness and paint new daddy's face >I make him a brown man >a brown chocolate man, with my brown chocolate goodness >he shakes violently and vomits several times >I struggle to keep him still >mummy is sobbing by the bedside >her days of trying to reason with me are gone >she has given up all hope >she is broken >after I am finished my work, new daddy is covered in my brown goodness and chunks of his own vomit, tears streaming down his face >after daddy is done gagging, I lean in close >I whisper "can you take me to wendys to get some chicken nuggies?"
File: IMG_4689.jpg (80 KB, 1000x1024) >she knows what is coming >I lean on top of new daddy Anonymous 12/18/23 (Mon)16:45:17 No.75807263 [Reply] ► >3 o clock in the morning >get hungry for chicken tendies >go into mummies room >she is playing wrestling with new daddy >I don't like new daddy >they are playing under the sheets >they don't see me enter the room >he tries to struggle free >I'm 390 lbs of pure blubber >I remove my clothes >I squat beside the bed >a solid mass of brown goodness >I am proud >mummy and new daddy have stopped wrestling >new daddy says "um...d-do you smell something?" >mummy pleads "oh god....oh god please not again" >mummy is well learned in the ways of brown goodness >but new daddy still must learn >he is about to >he's going nowhere >his arms are pinned beneath my might >as I squeeze, I let out several grunts and moans >mummy and new daddy are also grunting and moaning >squeezing hard, I feel my sphincter throb and pulse >double double toil and trouble something wicked this way comes >the brown goodness pours forth from my anus and veers in a sweeping motion slightly to the left and touches the ground >throwing back the sheets >mummy and new daddy look upon my work and despair >new daddy retches at the sight of me standing, now with brown goodness in hand >new daddy screams "is th-that f------ real?!?! I-is that f------ s---??!?!?! >mummy buries her face in her hands in shame >my sphincter closes off, like a valve, sealing my back passage shut >I behold my work >I take my brown goodness and paint new daddy's face >I make him a brown man >a brown chocolate man, with my brown chocolate goodness >he shakes violently and vomits several times >I struggle to keep him still >mummy is sobbing by the bedside >her days of trying to reason with me are gone >she has given up all hope >she is broken >after I am finished my work, new daddy is covered in my brown goodness and chunks of his own vomit, tears streaming down his face >after daddy is done gagging, I lean in close >I whisper "can you take me to wendys to get some chicken nuggies?"

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Trustworthy anon did the math | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Math. 24 KB PNG 12/18/23(Mon)21:24:27 No.911000314 Let's do some math. >400k people attended Anime Expo this year >15k people were in the World Trade Center on 9/11 >of those 15k, 2.6k of them died that's 17% >if 17% of Anime Expo died that'd be 68k >if two planes crashed into the venue, 68k people would die Can someone please hijack a plane and see if my math is right?? I'm not a fed I swear!!
: Anonymous Math. 24 KB PNG 12/18/23(Mon)21:24:27 No.911000314 Let's do some math. >400k people attended Anime Expo this year >15k people were in the World Trade Center on 9/11 >of those 15k, 2.6k of them died that's 17% >if 17% of Anime Expo died that'd be 68k >if two planes crashed into the venue, 68k people would die Can someone please hijack a plane and see if my math is right?? I'm not a fed I swear!!

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Neurodiversity in Chad | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Autism can ruin Chads too 12/17/23(Sun)12:44:49 No.75796487 >When middle school came along, things started to change. While everyone was maturing I felt left behind. I didn't care for clothes, relationships, etc as much as everyone else. I started to lose all confidence I had as a kid and was becoming extremely introverted. >I stopped playing sports completely and felt like I didn't belong in High School at all. I had completely disconnected from everyone at this point. The problems within my family didn't help either. I feel as if the focus was put on others in my family to help them, and I just disconnected even more. I started to realize that something was "wrong" with me during the high school years. I cared about absolutely nothing, I honestly don't know if I even wanted to be alive at this point. Are these signs of autism? How'd he go from athletic good looking chad to a complete loser in High School? https://www.twitlonger.com/show/n_1sqb890 412 KB JPG
Anonymous Autism can ruin Chads too 12/17/23(Sun)12:44:49 No.75796487 >When middle school came along, things started to change. While everyone was maturing I felt left behind. I didn't care for clothes, relationships, etc as much as everyone else. I started to lose all confidence I had as a kid and was becoming extremely introverted. >I stopped playing sports completely and felt like I didn't belong in High School at all. I had completely disconnected from everyone at this point. The problems within my family didn't help either. I feel as if the focus was put on others in my family to help them, and I just disconnected even more. I started to realize that something was "wrong" with me during the high school years. I cared about absolutely nothing, I honestly don't know if I even wanted to be alive at this point. Are these signs of autism? How'd he go from athletic good looking chad to a complete loser in High School? https://www.twitlonger.com/show/n_1sqb890 412 KB JPG

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Unburdened | /r/Greentext

R9k, how do I fix my problems? Be my counselor life couch? R9k, how do I fix my problems? (...) 137 KB JPG 12/17/23(Sun)21:03:26 No.75801657 >be disabled uberautist >bought an expensive japanese dress and bitch sold it with armpit yellow stains, I heard stain remover works but I am scared of soap, how do I clean my dress without being scared? >how do i force myself to talk to people and not ghost them because I have no social energy in order to get a bf? >I have issues with my bank how do I get over the social anxiety and call them ? >bank asks for proof of employment but I am a neet, dad says to tell em that but idk if they will be ok with that >I am saving for a breast lift but bank is making me anxious is there a chance they will still my 2k euro in savings?I need to reach atleast 4k to get it >some c--- psychiatrist illegally told my mom I'm anorexic bullimic and now they are screeching at me which makes me want to hurt myself. How do I cope with boomers screeching without wanting to hurt myself? Like how do I stand there and take it without punching myself? >I do not want to kill myself but my parents are being really suicideinspo rn, copes?
R9k, how do I fix my problems? Be my counselor life couch? R9k, how do I fix my problems? (...) 137 KB JPG 12/17/23(Sun)21:03:26 No.75801657 >be disabled uberautist >bought an expensive japanese dress and bitch sold it with armpit yellow stains, I heard stain remover works but I am scared of soap, how do I clean my dress without being scared? >how do i force myself to talk to people and not ghost them because I have no social energy in order to get a bf? >I have issues with my bank how do I get over the social anxiety and call them ? >bank asks for proof of employment but I am a neet, dad says to tell em that but idk if they will be ok with that >I am saving for a breast lift but bank is making me anxious is there a chance they will still my 2k euro in savings?I need to reach atleast 4k to get it >some c--- psychiatrist illegally told my mom I'm anorexic bullimic and now they are screeching at me which makes me want to hurt myself. How do I cope with boomers screeching without wanting to hurt myself? Like how do I stand there and take it without punching myself? >I do not want to kill myself but my parents are being really suicideinspo rn, copes?

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Anon turns normie (until she leaves him) | /r/Greentext

harry.png (822 KB, 936x507) google yandex iqdb wait gf normified me and i somehow enjoy it Anonymous 12/18/23 (Mon)08:36:34 No.75802970 ✓ >>75803008 >was always a stereotypical ugly fat kid in high school >nerdy hobbies like mtg didn't help, got bullied >never had success with women as a result >never went full incel, but did resent women deep down >depression and social anxiety only get worse in college >get desperate for some kind of help >stoner friend gives me shrooms (liberty caps) >never tried drugs but f--- it, life cant get any worse at this point >have an epiphany; it's like 20 hours of deep personal reflection and introspection all packed into a 5 hour long trip >confronted with the harsh truth that my lack of dating success is mostly due to myself >no one wants someone who doesnt take care of themselves after all >after this, begin on a self improvement and personal growth journey >lose 150 lbs and start putting effort into my appearance >start using a skincare routine for the first time ever >begin finding success with dating, at first it's just some dates here and there but it's much better than before >1.5 years later meet my current gf >we didn't have much in common but i fell in love with her personality >just constant cheerfulness and positive energy that i never had due to depression >she always makes me feel appreciated and loved >slowly become happier, feel more thankful for the people around me, life just becomes better overall >one day i realize im really no longer the incel edgelord i once was >still enjoy my nerdy hobbies but find myself bluepilled and no longer judging people for being "normies" in my eyes >no longer super selective with the people i talk to either, i can actually make non-terminally online friends now >find myself enjoying swift and harry f------ styles of all people (gf loves them)
harry.png (822 KB, 936x507) google yandex iqdb wait gf normified me and i somehow enjoy it Anonymous 12/18/23 (Mon)08:36:34 No.75802970 ✓ >>75803008 >was always a stereotypical ugly fat kid in high school >nerdy hobbies like mtg didn't help, got bullied >never had success with women as a result >never went full incel, but did resent women deep down >depression and social anxiety only get worse in college >get desperate for some kind of help >stoner friend gives me shrooms (liberty caps) >never tried drugs but f--- it, life cant get any worse at this point >have an epiphany; it's like 20 hours of deep personal reflection and introspection all packed into a 5 hour long trip >confronted with the harsh truth that my lack of dating success is mostly due to myself >no one wants someone who doesnt take care of themselves after all >after this, begin on a self improvement and personal growth journey >lose 150 lbs and start putting effort into my appearance >start using a skincare routine for the first time ever >begin finding success with dating, at first it's just some dates here and there but it's much better than before >1.5 years later meet my current gf >we didn't have much in common but i fell in love with her personality >just constant cheerfulness and positive energy that i never had due to depression >she always makes me feel appreciated and loved >slowly become happier, feel more thankful for the people around me, life just becomes better overall >one day i realize im really no longer the incel edgelord i once was >still enjoy my nerdy hobbies but find myself bluepilled and no longer judging people for being "normies" in my eyes >no longer super selective with the people i talk to either, i can actually make non-terminally online friends now >find myself enjoying swift and harry f------ styles of all people (gf loves them)

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Anon likes Fallout | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Roleplay pill 72 KB JPG 12/18/23 (Mon)11:33:16 No.75805165 >Be me >Neurotypical (As in not autistic) >Introverted hikkikomori that is shy. >99 percent of my social interactions occur via vidya >Love fallout a lot >One day, I got an internet outage >Because of that, I cant order vidya online anymore >Decide to do the unthinkable and go to a physical vidya store >Get my phone, install google maps via cellular and download some tunes. >Since going outside is mega boring, I decide to roleplay as a Vault dweller exiting my bunker to get the essential supplies whilst listening to 1950s music. >I imagine hobos as super mutants, normies socializing as ghouls and cute cashiers as high level NPCs that I need high charisma to talk to. >Fast forward to a few weeks. and I realized that going outside is not boring when you role play as a vault dweller. as now going outside feels like a brand new adventure game on its own. >Pic related Take a roleplaypill anons. this makes going outside much easier. Maybe soon III encounter a QT3.14 who also role plays and we will role play like vault dwellers together.
: Anonymous Roleplay pill 72 KB JPG 12/18/23 (Mon)11:33:16 No.75805165 >Be me >Neurotypical (As in not autistic) >Introverted hikkikomori that is shy. >99 percent of my social interactions occur via vidya >Love fallout a lot >One day, I got an internet outage >Because of that, I cant order vidya online anymore >Decide to do the unthinkable and go to a physical vidya store >Get my phone, install google maps via cellular and download some tunes. >Since going outside is mega boring, I decide to roleplay as a Vault dweller exiting my bunker to get the essential supplies whilst listening to 1950s music. >I imagine hobos as super mutants, normies socializing as ghouls and cute cashiers as high level NPCs that I need high charisma to talk to. >Fast forward to a few weeks. and I realized that going outside is not boring when you role play as a vault dweller. as now going outside feels like a brand new adventure game on its own. >Pic related Take a roleplaypill anons. this makes going outside much easier. Maybe soon III encounter a QT3.14 who also role plays and we will role play like vault dwellers together.

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The Lonely Pint | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/17/23(Sun)21:26:28 No.910983219 13 KB JPG >be me >go eat with old friends from high school >they have become really close >soon, they start talking about bars >fuckingnormies.jpg >ask if you can come to a bar with them just because you want hang out more often >both look at me very blankly >"yeah, we have to see" >they proceed to plan out their next bar visit with other friends >mfw
Anonymous 12/17/23(Sun)21:26:28 No.910983219 13 KB JPG >be me >go eat with old friends from high school >they have become really close >soon, they start talking about bars >fuckingnormies.jpg >ask if you can come to a bar with them just because you want hang out more often >both look at me very blankly >"yeah, we have to see" >they proceed to plan out their next bar visit with other friends >mfw

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I'm scared stiff | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/18/23(Mon)17:03:13 No.66107 10 1693396757873587.png 32 KB PNG >This is a scary ghost according to Japanese video game devs
: Anonymous 12/18/23(Mon)17:03:13 No.66107 10 1693396757873587.png 32 KB PNG >This is a scary ghost according to Japanese video game devs

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Awakening Rainbows | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 159 KB JPG 12/17/23(Sun)19:04:49 No.910978492 Weed turned me into a masochistic f-----. >Straight my whole life, always found gay sex to be disgusting >Had a friend who had a massive d--- >My d--- is small and have ED. I am a virgin. >He would always boast about his d--- and how much girls love it >I started developing extreme insecurities >One time I got super high and decided to watch p--- on weed for the first time >I stumbled upon small penis humiliation and BBC p--- >All I could stare at was the black d---. I felt so inferior and was in total awe of how nice the c--- was compared to mine. Made me insanely horny to the point where I started sucking my lotion bottle and had the most intense orgasm of my life with it all the way in my throat. >Bought a thick 9 inch black dildo the same month. >Since this day I have never masturbated to anything other than BBC and SPH p---. The thought of having sex with a woman doesn't turn me on at all. The thought of being savagely gangbanged by 5 black guys with massive d---- turns me on extremely. I very rarely get hard by real women but I get rock hard over BBC p---. >When I dont j------- for a while, I dream about sucking or getting f----- by big d---- Am I gay? Will I ever find real women to be a turn on anymore? Why did weed make me this way?
Anonymous 159 KB JPG 12/17/23(Sun)19:04:49 No.910978492 Weed turned me into a masochistic f-----. >Straight my whole life, always found gay sex to be disgusting >Had a friend who had a massive d--- >My d--- is small and have ED. I am a virgin. >He would always boast about his d--- and how much girls love it >I started developing extreme insecurities >One time I got super high and decided to watch p--- on weed for the first time >I stumbled upon small penis humiliation and BBC p--- >All I could stare at was the black d---. I felt so inferior and was in total awe of how nice the c--- was compared to mine. Made me insanely horny to the point where I started sucking my lotion bottle and had the most intense orgasm of my life with it all the way in my throat. >Bought a thick 9 inch black dildo the same month. >Since this day I have never masturbated to anything other than BBC and SPH p---. The thought of having sex with a woman doesn't turn me on at all. The thought of being savagely gangbanged by 5 black guys with massive d---- turns me on extremely. I very rarely get hard by real women but I get rock hard over BBC p---. >When I dont j------- for a while, I dream about sucking or getting f----- by big d---- Am I gay? Will I ever find real women to be a turn on anymore? Why did weed make me this way?

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