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Anons self-destruct | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/13/21(Mon)20:58:01 No.863036653 >pepper spray is illegal in the UK Imagine my shock 108 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 09/13/21(Mon)21:15:01 No.863037616 >>863036653 (OP) # >nhs is illegal in the US Imagine my shock
: Anonymous 09/13/21(Mon)20:58:01 No.863036653 >pepper spray is illegal in the UK Imagine my shock 108 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 09/13/21(Mon)21:15:01 No.863037616 >>863036653 (OP) # >nhs is illegal in the US Imagine my shock

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Anon realizes life is meaningless | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/14/21(Tue)03:26:26 No.863059373 >Just get in a better middle school and it's all over >Just get in a better uni and it's all over >Just get first honor and it's over >Just get a better job and it's over >Just work hard and try to get 147 KB JPG promoted It never ends does it View Thread
: Anonymous 09/14/21(Tue)03:26:26 No.863059373 >Just get in a better middle school and it's all over >Just get in a better uni and it's all over >Just get first honor and it's over >Just get a better job and it's over >Just work hard and try to get 147 KB JPG promoted It never ends does it View Thread

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Anon hates old people. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/14/21(Tue)13:31:55 No.65374240 >be me >19 year old anonette >posting on reddit >the anime sub >a 31 year old guy (I glanced at his profile) says that this one girl "friendzoned" a guy in a currently 34 KB JPG airing anime that the thread was about >I tell him that he shouldn't use that term because it's misogynistic and implies men are entitled to the feelings of any given woman they want >he replies to me with "Wow, those are some very interesting points you raise, but have you ever tried telling someone who cares? I am not in the mood to have some SJW police my word choice, thanks " Why are old people so grumpy and bitchy
: Anonymous 09/14/21(Tue)13:31:55 No.65374240 >be me >19 year old anonette >posting on reddit >the anime sub >a 31 year old guy (I glanced at his profile) says that this one girl "friendzoned" a guy in a currently 34 KB JPG airing anime that the thread was about >I tell him that he shouldn't use that term because it's misogynistic and implies men are entitled to the feelings of any given woman they want >he replies to me with "Wow, those are some very interesting points you raise, but have you ever tried telling someone who cares? I am not in the mood to have some SJW police my word choice, thanks " Why are old people so grumpy and bitchy

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The universal language | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/14/21(Tue)13:09:11 No.570829076 >Playing MMO >Walk up to rando >Start jumping >They jump too It's the little things, lads. 50 KB JPG
: Anonymous 09/14/21(Tue)13:09:11 No.570829076 >Playing MMO >Walk up to rando >Start jumping >They jump too It's the little things, lads. 50 KB JPG

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Anon Finishes A Project | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/14/21(Tue)04:26:55 No.65374803 >Cute girl invites me to come over to her house to work on a school project >We're making progress and finish early >Tell her i should probably head home, don't want to be a nuisance >"Aww, well that's alright, thank you 42 KB JPG for helping me" >"Wait Anon before you go i want to show you something!" >"I know you said you liked this music, so I checked it out and I think they're pretty great!" >Get impressed that a girl would actually take the time to listen to my autistic taste in music >"Come on anon, let's dance before you have to go!" >l don't dance, i never dance. not even by myself >Decide f--- it time to show off my moves >Do some awkward disco moves, chicken dance >She thinks its hilarious and giggles >l laugh harder than i ever have in years >Music changes >It's a slow dance song >l grab her hand >"Hey anon, do you...?" >She blushes and looks away >"Do you like me, anon?" >"Of course i do!" >"Can i...?" >She closes her eyes and leans in for a kiss >I close my eyes to kiss her >Alarm wakes me up for work >Wake up in bed, alone >Try to go back to sleep so that i can see her one last time >Stare at the ceiling until sunrise.
: Anonymous 09/14/21(Tue)04:26:55 No.65374803 >Cute girl invites me to come over to her house to work on a school project >We're making progress and finish early >Tell her i should probably head home, don't want to be a nuisance >"Aww, well that's alright, thank you 42 KB JPG for helping me" >"Wait Anon before you go i want to show you something!" >"I know you said you liked this music, so I checked it out and I think they're pretty great!" >Get impressed that a girl would actually take the time to listen to my autistic taste in music >"Come on anon, let's dance before you have to go!" >l don't dance, i never dance. not even by myself >Decide f--- it time to show off my moves >Do some awkward disco moves, chicken dance >She thinks its hilarious and giggles >l laugh harder than i ever have in years >Music changes >It's a slow dance song >l grab her hand >"Hey anon, do you...?" >She blushes and looks away >"Do you like me, anon?" >"Of course i do!" >"Can i...?" >She closes her eyes and leans in for a kiss >I close my eyes to kiss her >Alarm wakes me up for work >Wake up in bed, alone >Try to go back to sleep so that i can see her one last time >Stare at the ceiling until sunrise.

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Anon goes to the Ward | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/12/21(Sun)22:40:13 No.65359145 >>65357592 (OP) # >go to psych ward >play cards all day with a bunch of very interesting people >read three whole books while i was there 144 KB JPG >food is good, get to have favorite drink with every meal >get a lot of free comfortable clothes and socks >get to watch a lot of cool movies i hadnt seen before >group therapy twice a day, get to socialize and hear about the lives of other messed up people, very interesting experience >made a few actual friends >they prescribed me lithium, made me not want to actively kill myself anymore >get to chill with no true responsibility for over a week psych ward was pretty comfy
: Anonymous 09/12/21(Sun)22:40:13 No.65359145 >>65357592 (OP) # >go to psych ward >play cards all day with a bunch of very interesting people >read three whole books while i was there 144 KB JPG >food is good, get to have favorite drink with every meal >get a lot of free comfortable clothes and socks >get to watch a lot of cool movies i hadnt seen before >group therapy twice a day, get to socialize and hear about the lives of other messed up people, very interesting experience >made a few actual friends >they prescribed me lithium, made me not want to actively kill myself anymore >get to chill with no true responsibility for over a week psych ward was pretty comfy

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Anon is in a cave | /r/Greentext

>>29741879 (OP)_# >NO0000 THE CAVE ITS SO SPOOKY >WHATS THAT DRIPPING??? WHY IS IT SO HUMID IN HERE >MY MIND CANT COMPREHEND 67 KB JPG THE HUMID MOIST ATMOSPHERE OF THIS DARK CAVE >NIGGERMAN SAVE ME MY MIND IS SNAPPING АННННН
>>29741879 (OP)_# >NO0000 THE CAVE ITS SO SPOOKY >WHATS THAT DRIPPING??? WHY IS IT SO HUMID IN HERE >MY MIND CANT COMPREHEND 67 KB JPG THE HUMID MOIST ATMOSPHERE OF THIS DARK CAVE >NIGGERMAN SAVE ME MY MIND IS SNAPPING АННННН

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C ya defribillater | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/14/21(Tue)06:26:48 No.65375180 >28 >never even bothered to ask a girl out before >decide ill try it out >theres a girl ive been crushing on for months 53 KB JPG >get rejected >the feeling of overwhelmingly brutal depression comes over me >first time ive felt anything in years Honestly it was worth it
: Anonymous 09/14/21(Tue)06:26:48 No.65375180 >28 >never even bothered to ask a girl out before >decide ill try it out >theres a girl ive been crushing on for months 53 KB JPG >get rejected >the feeling of overwhelmingly brutal depression comes over me >first time ive felt anything in years Honestly it was worth it

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Empty goal | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Think I've just done the sadde(...) 09/13/21(Mon)19:06:53 No.65369482 >be me >bored >load up fifa >create 22 players >boys from my old school >Most of them I haven't seen in 28 KB JPG years >mostly boys on the footie team plus a few mates who weren't >transfer them into a team >play them in the positions we all played in >make me captain >win the champions league with them >as we lift the trophy it dawns on me what I've wasted the night on >mfw
: Anonymous Think I've just done the sadde(...) 09/13/21(Mon)19:06:53 No.65369482 >be me >bored >load up fifa >create 22 players >boys from my old school >Most of them I haven't seen in 28 KB JPG years >mostly boys on the footie team plus a few mates who weren't >transfer them into a team >play them in the positions we all played in >make me captain >win the champions league with them >as we lift the trophy it dawns on me what I've wasted the night on >mfw

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Anon had a close call | /r/Greentext

>years ago >full body laser hair removal done >had to decide wether i should get beard removal too because i f------ hate shaving >decided not to cuz you never know >ff today 47 KB JPG >balding >can compensate with beard Close call.
>years ago >full body laser hair removal done >had to decide wether i should get beard removal too because i f------ hate shaving >decided not to cuz you never know >ff today 47 KB JPG >balding >can compensate with beard Close call.

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Anon is I honestly don't know .... | /r/Greentext

1h (9/14 10:39) · 863047418 7 Re · 1 Img · JPG:28KB · (400 × 400) 3 Replies >have had several opportunities to lose virginity >haven't lost it because l'm scared what the girl would say about my uncut penis >am now 21 year old virgin
1h (9/14 10:39) · 863047418 7 Re · 1 Img · JPG:28KB · (400 × 400) 3 Replies >have had several opportunities to lose virginity >haven't lost it because l'm scared what the girl would say about my uncut penis >am now 21 year old virgin

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anon flexes his gaming prowess | /r/Greentext

File: 1603803557036.png (657 KB, 1390x1346) Anonymous 09/13/21(Mon)15:21:07 No.862999559 >be me on school trip >girls at the back of the bus are playing mario kart together >invite me to join them >join their lobby >proceed to win every race by about thirty seconds >never get asked to play with them again nothing stops the grind, boys
File: 1603803557036.png (657 KB, 1390x1346) Anonymous 09/13/21(Mon)15:21:07 No.862999559 >be me on school trip >girls at the back of the bus are playing mario kart together >invite me to join them >join their lobby >proceed to win every race by about thirty seconds >never get asked to play with them again nothing stops the grind, boys

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/v/irgin plays games | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/14/21(Tue)05:02:02 No.570798308 Tifa Scarlet.jpg 444 KB JPG >japanese game >everyone is white
: Anonymous 09/14/21(Tue)05:02:02 No.570798308 Tifa Scarlet.jpg 444 KB JPG >japanese game >everyone is white

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Anon cuts hair | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/01/18(Sat)12:01:56 No.786291455 Hairdresser stories >Be me, 22, f--- people's hair for a living >One day a tall lanky f----- wearing all black comes in and asks for a haircut >Sit him down and asks what he wants "Cut a singular hair from the top of my 1.87 MB JPG head" >... >. >Doesn't say anything more >Dont question him and cut a single hair off the top of his head >Suddenly stands up, takes off the cutting cape, then hands me a 20 >Says "Keep the hair, it'll be important later" and then leaves >Didn't give me time to give him change, didn't even wash his hair >mfw probably the most suspicious f----- I've ever seen tells me to cut his hair and keep it >mfw I actually kept it Pic related
: Anonymous 12/01/18(Sat)12:01:56 No.786291455 Hairdresser stories >Be me, 22, f--- people's hair for a living >One day a tall lanky f----- wearing all black comes in and asks for a haircut >Sit him down and asks what he wants "Cut a singular hair from the top of my 1.87 MB JPG head" >... >. >Doesn't say anything more >Dont question him and cut a single hair off the top of his head >Suddenly stands up, takes off the cutting cape, then hands me a 20 >Says "Keep the hair, it'll be important later" and then leaves >Didn't give me time to give him change, didn't even wash his hair >mfw probably the most suspicious f----- I've ever seen tells me to cut his hair and keep it >mfw I actually kept it Pic related

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Anon commits midnight robbery | /r/Greentext

l'll tell you the story of when I robbed a Taco Bell with my friend. >be 18 >be strapped for cash, no money, no job >friend recommends the robbery >whynot.jpg >case the Taco Bell, watch it every night for 2 weeks >least busy night is monday night around 1:30am >next monday, time to rob mang >1:00am on Monday night (Tues morning) walk into Taco Bell with friend wearing all black >no need to conceal our faces because this Taco Bell is in the next town >starting to get really nervous, freaking out >they ask us what we'd like to order >"just.. just a cup of water.." >they hand me a cup >friend pulls his gun "EVERYONE GET WHERE I CAN SEE THEM" >employees are freaking out >use the distraction to fill up the water cup with SPRITE! >we book it outta there Hah, we never told anyone!
l'll tell you the story of when I robbed a Taco Bell with my friend. >be 18 >be strapped for cash, no money, no job >friend recommends the robbery >whynot.jpg >case the Taco Bell, watch it every night for 2 weeks >least busy night is monday night around 1:30am >next monday, time to rob mang >1:00am on Monday night (Tues morning) walk into Taco Bell with friend wearing all black >no need to conceal our faces because this Taco Bell is in the next town >starting to get really nervous, freaking out >they ask us what we'd like to order >"just.. just a cup of water.." >they hand me a cup >friend pulls his gun "EVERYONE GET WHERE I CAN SEE THEM" >employees are freaking out >use the distraction to fill up the water cup with SPRITE! >we book it outta there Hah, we never told anyone!

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Anon tries a cigarette | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/13/21(Mon)22:24:51 No.65371654 >be me >feel down and all >had a bad day >hang out with a fren >he offers me a c-------- >decide to take it since I thought l'd look cool while smoking and that it 32 KB JPG might take off some stress off my chest >instant regret >it tastes bitter and disgusting >have the urge to vomit even hours later how are people addicted to this s---? This has to be the most disgusting and repulsive thing I ever f------ did
: Anonymous 09/13/21(Mon)22:24:51 No.65371654 >be me >feel down and all >had a bad day >hang out with a fren >he offers me a c-------- >decide to take it since I thought l'd look cool while smoking and that it 32 KB JPG might take off some stress off my chest >instant regret >it tastes bitter and disgusting >have the urge to vomit even hours later how are people addicted to this s---? This has to be the most disgusting and repulsive thing I ever f------ did

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Anon joins a running group | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/30/20(Thu)19:05:25 No.56511154 >join running group >run leader tells us to sprint up a hill as fast as we can >leg it past everyone else >he pulls me over afterwards and goes on this passive-aggressive talk about how it's not a 16 KB PNG competition >try to rejoin group, he literally puts out an arm in front of me and asks if I understand >he's treating me like a child and I'll look like even more of a child if I argue so I walk away >was literally shaking at the unfairness You literally told us to go as fast as possible you power-tripping c---. F--- normies and f--- socialising.
: Anonymous 01/30/20(Thu)19:05:25 No.56511154 >join running group >run leader tells us to sprint up a hill as fast as we can >leg it past everyone else >he pulls me over afterwards and goes on this passive-aggressive talk about how it's not a 16 KB PNG competition >try to rejoin group, he literally puts out an arm in front of me and asks if I understand >he's treating me like a child and I'll look like even more of a child if I argue so I walk away >was literally shaking at the unfairness You literally told us to go as fast as possible you power-tripping c---. F--- normies and f--- socialising.

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Anon exposes everyone | /r/Greentext

>Cares about IQ >Doesn't have any hobbies (video games don't count unless you genuinely collect them) >"I'm not a conservative, but.." >actually uses alpha/beta/omega/sigma whatever 438 KB PNG unironically >has a twitter >focuses on hate instead of joy >shorter than 5'11
>Cares about IQ >Doesn't have any hobbies (video games don't count unless you genuinely collect them) >"I'm not a conservative, but.." >actually uses alpha/beta/omega/sigma whatever 438 KB PNG unironically >has a twitter >focuses on hate instead of joy >shorter than 5'11

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A Shallow Gene Pool | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/12/21(Sun)23:56:41 No.65361409 >upstairs neighbours are going at it like horny schoolchildren >then suddenly a pause, followed by a "WHY YOU'D COME INSIDE ME!? I'M YOUR MOM!!!" Is it wrong to assume this is some kind of kink roleplay? I don't really want to delve 84 KB JPG deeper into this.
: Anonymous 09/12/21(Sun)23:56:41 No.65361409 >upstairs neighbours are going at it like horny schoolchildren >then suddenly a pause, followed by a "WHY YOU'D COME INSIDE ME!? I'M YOUR MOM!!!" Is it wrong to assume this is some kind of kink roleplay? I don't really want to delve 84 KB JPG deeper into this.

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Autism is Anon's superpower | /r/Greentext


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