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Anon is a Blacksmith | /r/Greentext


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Anon takes a test | /r/Greentext

File: gZ38ujB.png (27 KB, 657x527) O Anonymous 06/16/18(Sat)22 ITT: Why you are retarded >Chromosome test in 9th grade >above average
File: gZ38ujB.png (27 KB, 657x527) O Anonymous 06/16/18(Sat)22 ITT: Why you are retarded >Chromosome test in 9th grade >above average

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Anon was harassed | /r/Greentext


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Americans do celebratory conga | /r/Greentext


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Anon likes a dick | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 25 minutes ago 68359459 iSto the d--- cleaning system >be in highschool >arguing with my mom and siblings over cleaning system for the house toce >my mom and sisters leave their s--- all over the house and refuse to clean it up >my dad gets home and listens to the argument for a while >back in college my buddies and i figured out a pretty good cleaning system >everyone stops arguing and listens ock Stoc y Geft >we called it the d--- >every week a different person in the house would be 'the d---' >their job was to keep the house clean no matter what >someone left garbage on the table? >someone left dishes in the sink? >grab it all and throw it in their bed >literally scream at people and shoot them with a bb gun to get them clean up their own messes >one guy who made a lot of messes really didn't like the system so we kicked him out of the house and someone else moved in >when he was done with his story, my mom and sisters immediately went and cleaned up all their makeup products in the bathroom and the dishes they left all over the dinnertable and the kitchen >never left their s--- out again for fear of 'the d---' cleaning system getting implemented
Anonymous 25 minutes ago 68359459 iSto the d--- cleaning system >be in highschool >arguing with my mom and siblings over cleaning system for the house toce >my mom and sisters leave their s--- all over the house and refuse to clean it up >my dad gets home and listens to the argument for a while >back in college my buddies and i figured out a pretty good cleaning system >everyone stops arguing and listens ock Stoc y Geft >we called it the d--- >every week a different person in the house would be 'the d---' >their job was to keep the house clean no matter what >someone left garbage on the table? >someone left dishes in the sink? >grab it all and throw it in their bed >literally scream at people and shoot them with a bb gun to get them clean up their own messes >one guy who made a lot of messes really didn't like the system so we kicked him out of the house and someone else moved in >when he was done with his story, my mom and sisters immediately went and cleaned up all their makeup products in the bathroom and the dishes they left all over the dinnertable and the kitchen >never left their s--- out again for fear of 'the d---' cleaning system getting implemented

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Anon gives dating advice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: vti+verH ) 04/25/22(Mon)13:14:25 No.374570927 Trying to have a gf in my 31 years old. This are the options > Single mothers > Refuses to forget an ex > R--- survivor (traumas) > Ugly fat chick 5 KB JPG > Ex crack addict > Had/have an stds > Some poly/cuck s--- Young brothers out there. If you don't want this struggle, find a good gf before 25
: Anonymous (ID: vti+verH ) 04/25/22(Mon)13:14:25 No.374570927 Trying to have a gf in my 31 years old. This are the options > Single mothers > Refuses to forget an ex > R--- survivor (traumas) > Ugly fat chick 5 KB JPG > Ex crack addict > Had/have an stds > Some poly/cuck s--- Young brothers out there. If you don't want this struggle, find a good gf before 25

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Anon hears a Ghost | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/15/20(Thu)08:03:25 No.26452956 >>26425930 (OP) # >Be me 13 >Get up for a glass of water at 1am >Living room pitch black, except the glow from a dull yellow lamp >Hear a voice calling my name: "anon." and pausing before calling again: "anon." >Get a really weird sensation in my legs as I look around the room. >I think "ah man, the schizophrenia's kicking in" >"Anon." and I notice the voice is coming from outside the window >Walk over to the window, and the voice says "good night anon" >lt was just my dad out in the yard looking at stars
: Anonymous 10/15/20(Thu)08:03:25 No.26452956 >>26425930 (OP) # >Be me 13 >Get up for a glass of water at 1am >Living room pitch black, except the glow from a dull yellow lamp >Hear a voice calling my name: "anon." and pausing before calling again: "anon." >Get a really weird sensation in my legs as I look around the room. >I think "ah man, the schizophrenia's kicking in" >"Anon." and I notice the voice is coming from outside the window >Walk over to the window, and the voice says "good night anon" >lt was just my dad out in the yard looking at stars

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unfortunate circumstances | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/19/22(Sat)18:57:25 No.873006722 >browsing /b/ while eating popcorn >reload page >p--- ad loads >mom walks by >looks at computer screen >mfw my mom thinks i'm watching p--- and eating popcorn like i'm at the f------ cinema 267 KB PNG why does weird awkward s--- always happen to me?
: Anonymous 02/19/22(Sat)18:57:25 No.873006722 >browsing /b/ while eating popcorn >reload page >p--- ad loads >mom walks by >looks at computer screen >mfw my mom thinks i'm watching p--- and eating popcorn like i'm at the f------ cinema 267 KB PNG why does weird awkward s--- always happen to me?

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Anon had a cousin. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I Sent Naked Photos of my Rece(...) 04/25/22(Mon)05:39:16 No.26297901 My cousin recently killed herself. She was a 27 year old woman with an AMAZING body. I thought she was hot as hell and told all my friends how upset i was. Her parents (my Aunt and Uncle) got me to tap into her laptop since I am a computer engineer and know how to get through a basic password so they could get a better understanding of why she did it. While on her icloud, i found some naked photos and sent them around and told my friends 32 KB JPG I masturbated to them and stuff. All those messages got leaked and now my parents and my Aunt and Uncle found out and are furious. I feel I permanently destroyed my relation with them and from my understanding they are pushing for charges. What do i do I am terrified. I am an innocent 22 year old who's been seen as a "good innocent guy" by everyone until now and now they think im a freak even though in my mind i was honoring the girl.
: Anonymous I Sent Naked Photos of my Rece(...) 04/25/22(Mon)05:39:16 No.26297901 My cousin recently killed herself. She was a 27 year old woman with an AMAZING body. I thought she was hot as hell and told all my friends how upset i was. Her parents (my Aunt and Uncle) got me to tap into her laptop since I am a computer engineer and know how to get through a basic password so they could get a better understanding of why she did it. While on her icloud, i found some naked photos and sent them around and told my friends 32 KB JPG I masturbated to them and stuff. All those messages got leaked and now my parents and my Aunt and Uncle found out and are furious. I feel I permanently destroyed my relation with them and from my understanding they are pushing for charges. What do i do I am terrified. I am an innocent 22 year old who's been seen as a "good innocent guy" by everyone until now and now they think im a freak even though in my mind i was honoring the girl.

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Anon plays siege | /r/Greentext

le: 1540019795978.jpg (42 KB, 334x506) Anonymous 10/20/18(Sat)19:43:26 No.48818350 [Reply] • >>48819697 >>48819811 >>48819870 >be me playing Rainbow Six Seige >talking during match while no one else is talking >Suddenly girl turns on mic to say hi >Freeze up >She laughs when I don't respond >Immediately mute her >Some guy plugs in his mic to call me a f----- >Mute him as well >Team kill both of them once the round starts Did I do good guys?
le: 1540019795978.jpg (42 KB, 334x506) Anonymous 10/20/18(Sat)19:43:26 No.48818350 [Reply] • >>48819697 >>48819811 >>48819870 >be me playing Rainbow Six Seige >talking during match while no one else is talking >Suddenly girl turns on mic to say hi >Freeze up >She laughs when I don't respond >Immediately mute her >Some guy plugs in his mic to call me a f----- >Mute him as well >Team kill both of them once the round starts Did I do good guys?

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Anon Hates Food Channels | /r/Greentext

File: better. jpg (206 KB, 1280x720) MINE WENDY'S O Anonymous 03/28/22(Mon)21:22:42 No.17619821 >"Wow, these minimum wage fast food workers did such a bad job! I'm gonna cook it BETTER!" What is this c---'s problem?
File: better. jpg (206 KB, 1280x720) MINE WENDY'S O Anonymous 03/28/22(Mon)21:22:42 No.17619821 >"Wow, these minimum wage fast food workers did such a bad job! I'm gonna cook it BETTER!" What is this c---'s problem?

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Neuron activation | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/25/22(Mon)02:35:08 No.68359995 >go to small female artist's stream with a handful of viewers >comment a few things, not putting much thought into it >she reads my comments and replies to them in earnest, referring to me as my username 258 KB PNG >my username is my real first name >a woman said my name bros... i can't describe that feeling... but it's good : Anonymous 04/25/22(Mon)02:36:48 No.68360011 >>68359995 (OP) # >Good-bye, all of OP's disposal income >Hello, simp culture claiming another victim
: Anonymous 04/25/22(Mon)02:35:08 No.68359995 >go to small female artist's stream with a handful of viewers >comment a few things, not putting much thought into it >she reads my comments and replies to them in earnest, referring to me as my username 258 KB PNG >my username is my real first name >a woman said my name bros... i can't describe that feeling... but it's good : Anonymous 04/25/22(Mon)02:36:48 No.68360011 >>68359995 (OP) # >Good-bye, all of OP's disposal income >Hello, simp culture claiming another victim

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Anon goes to therapy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/24/22(Sun)16:20:02 No.68358270 >go to therapist >tell them I want to kill myself >they ask "Well, is there anything that would make you NOT want to kill yourself?" >"No, not really." >They stare at the computer shuffling papers for the rest of the session, writing things down about other f------ clients >"When do you want to come back for your next 147 KB GIF session?" >Time passes, go to the next session." >"Have you thought of anything that would make you NOT want to kill yourself yet?" >"No." >"Alright." >They continue doing other s--- for the rest of the session >"When would you like to come in for your next session?"
: Anonymous 04/24/22(Sun)16:20:02 No.68358270 >go to therapist >tell them I want to kill myself >they ask "Well, is there anything that would make you NOT want to kill yourself?" >"No, not really." >They stare at the computer shuffling papers for the rest of the session, writing things down about other f------ clients >"When do you want to come back for your next 147 KB GIF session?" >Time passes, go to the next session." >"Have you thought of anything that would make you NOT want to kill yourself yet?" >"No." >"Alright." >They continue doing other s--- for the rest of the session >"When would you like to come in for your next session?"

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Anon is a Chad. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/12/18(Thu)14:54:55 >never ask anyone out >never get rejected >basically irresistible haha who's the chad now 5 KB JPG
: Anonymous 07/12/18(Thu)14:54:55 >never ask anyone out >never get rejected >basically irresistible haha who's the chad now 5 KB JPG

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Most hygienic fr*nch "person" | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 0 03/27/22(Sun)22:51:35 No.162011043 Maybe showering 3 times a week is not enough 7 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/27/22(Sun)22:52:31 No.162011092 >>162011043 (OP) # >French hygiene >>162011141 # >>162011641 #
: Anonymous 0 03/27/22(Sun)22:51:35 No.162011043 Maybe showering 3 times a week is not enough 7 KB JPG : Anonymous 03/27/22(Sun)22:52:31 No.162011092 >>162011043 (OP) # >French hygiene >>162011141 # >>162011641 #

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anon decides to jack off | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/25/22(Mon)0O:09:19 No.876882733 >decide to masturbate before sleep >phone's charging, so time to use my imagination >come up with the hottest f------ weird s--- kink scenario I can think of 13 KB JPG >just when s---'s about to get hot, the girl suddenly gets sad, saying I'm only interested in her because of my niche fetishes >not wanting to feel predatory surpasses the horny, start reassuring her she'd be beautiful even if specific things about her - that would definitely be hard to live with in real life - didn't happen to perfectly carter to my fetishes >also tell her to stop sleeping with men who only care about her as fetish fuel, she needs to take better care of herself than that >end up doinga whole imaginary therapy session for a girl that only exists in my head >forget to j-------
: Anonymous 04/25/22(Mon)0O:09:19 No.876882733 >decide to masturbate before sleep >phone's charging, so time to use my imagination >come up with the hottest f------ weird s--- kink scenario I can think of 13 KB JPG >just when s---'s about to get hot, the girl suddenly gets sad, saying I'm only interested in her because of my niche fetishes >not wanting to feel predatory surpasses the horny, start reassuring her she'd be beautiful even if specific things about her - that would definitely be hard to live with in real life - didn't happen to perfectly carter to my fetishes >also tell her to stop sleeping with men who only care about her as fetish fuel, she needs to take better care of herself than that >end up doinga whole imaginary therapy session for a girl that only exists in my head >forget to j-------

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Anon is having home-made stew | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/24/22(Sun)13:10:25 No.876854173 Don't mind me. I'm just having some home-made stew for breakfasts to start my day. How about you /b/ros? 202 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/24/22(Sun)13:11:39 No.876854219 >>876854173 (OP) # dont care e--------- f-----
: Anonymous 04/24/22(Sun)13:10:25 No.876854173 Don't mind me. I'm just having some home-made stew for breakfasts to start my day. How about you /b/ros? 202 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/24/22(Sun)13:11:39 No.876854219 >>876854173 (OP) # dont care e--------- f-----

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Anon’s dad doesn’t understand how time works | /r/Greentext

>>510447518 >>510447592 >>510447649 >>510447725 >>510447806 >>510- >>510449105 >>510449507 I'm gay. My dad is not pleased with this fact. Completely homophobic. Half the time his homophobia doesn't even make sense. >Fishing show on TV in the living room >Watching it with mom and dad >Mom: "I don't have the patience for that kind of stuff" >Me:"It doesn't feel like too long when you're out there" >Dad:"Time flies when you're a f-----." >Go to my room It's getting ridiculous. He goes out of his way to respond to everything I do by calling me a f--. What do I do? Anonymous 10/12/13(Sat)14:37:44 UTC+3 No.510446682 File: 1381577864836 png-(327 KB, 399x397, 6544ddc4231bbe54a43c8c75b(...) png) >time flies when you're a f----- O Anonymous 10/12/13(Sat)14:38:27 UTC+3 No.510446721 File: 1381577907662.jpg-(43 KB, 398x320, 1355477325277 jpg) >>510446379 (OP) >"Time flies when you're a f-----."
>>510447518 >>510447592 >>510447649 >>510447725 >>510447806 >>510- >>510449105 >>510449507 I'm gay. My dad is not pleased with this fact. Completely homophobic. Half the time his homophobia doesn't even make sense. >Fishing show on TV in the living room >Watching it with mom and dad >Mom: "I don't have the patience for that kind of stuff" >Me:"It doesn't feel like too long when you're out there" >Dad:"Time flies when you're a f-----." >Go to my room It's getting ridiculous. He goes out of his way to respond to everything I do by calling me a f--. What do I do? Anonymous 10/12/13(Sat)14:37:44 UTC+3 No.510446682 File: 1381577864836 png-(327 KB, 399x397, 6544ddc4231bbe54a43c8c75b(...) png) >time flies when you're a f----- O Anonymous 10/12/13(Sat)14:38:27 UTC+3 No.510446721 File: 1381577907662.jpg-(43 KB, 398x320, 1355477325277 jpg) >>510446379 (OP) >"Time flies when you're a f-----."

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Anon hates fruit tribe | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/06/18(Fri)06:52:53 No.46719974 >>46719859 # >fruit tribe laughs at meat tribe >says meat tribe breath stop early >ice age come >no fruit left >guess who laugh now
: Anonymous 07/06/18(Fri)06:52:53 No.46719974 >>46719859 # >fruit tribe laughs at meat tribe >says meat tribe breath stop early >ice age come >no fruit left >guess who laugh now

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Anon Goes Plan B | /r/Greentext

O Marcissus IN9EDLMFSKI 08/11/11(Thu)12:43 No.87673510 File 1313080993.png-(9 KB, 288x350, 1310957042554.png) >walking down street >group of hot girls ahead on sidewalk >oh f--- >aspie overload >cross street to avoid social WHAT DID I DO TO contact DESERVE THIS >they notice me crossing >they giggle > f--- this i'll just pretend i live at this house" >go down random driveway >curtains shuffle >middle aged woman stars at me out the window >turn around fast >3 girls stood staring at me >this is their house >rapidly think of plan B >'have you accepted jesus as your lord and saviour?"
O Marcissus IN9EDLMFSKI 08/11/11(Thu)12:43 No.87673510 File 1313080993.png-(9 KB, 288x350, 1310957042554.png) >walking down street >group of hot girls ahead on sidewalk >oh f--- >aspie overload >cross street to avoid social WHAT DID I DO TO contact DESERVE THIS >they notice me crossing >they giggle > f--- this i'll just pretend i live at this house" >go down random driveway >curtains shuffle >middle aged woman stars at me out the window >turn around fast >3 girls stood staring at me >this is their house >rapidly think of plan B >'have you accepted jesus as your lord and saviour?"

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