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A pattern is emerging | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 21 KB JPG 09/07/23(Thu)13:36:48 No.74656769 >meet female cousin from america >ask if she's in a relationship >first thing she mentioned is his height why are americans like this?
: Anonymous 21 KB JPG 09/07/23(Thu)13:36:48 No.74656769 >meet female cousin from america >ask if she's in a relationship >first thing she mentioned is his height why are americans like this?

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Just friends, with benefits. | /r/Greentext

mulld! 50 US 43m (9/7 20:53). 18632718 38 Re-8 Img JPG 502KB (2654 × 1792) IMG_2535.jpg >be stay at home dad watching over the kids >your wife keeps staying out late and partying >constantly see pics like this and her getting drunk off her ass >"we're just friends hunny, stop worrying" What do? :
mulld! 50 US 43m (9/7 20:53). 18632718 38 Re-8 Img JPG 502KB (2654 × 1792) IMG_2535.jpg >be stay at home dad watching over the kids >your wife keeps staying out late and partying >constantly see pics like this and her getting drunk off her ass >"we're just friends hunny, stop worrying" What do? :

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No turning back now | /r/Greentext

7m (9/7 0 Re 0 Img JPG 24KB (553 x 471) EvMOHIKU4ACA8S7.jpg 21:28).905688779 . >put rat poison in sandwiches to find the food thief : >she f------ dies just after the lunch, h-------- >police start investigating everyone at work should I get out of the state?
7m (9/7 0 Re 0 Img JPG 24KB (553 x 471) EvMOHIKU4ACA8S7.jpg 21:28).905688779 . >put rat poison in sandwiches to find the food thief : >she f------ dies just after the lunch, h-------- >police start investigating everyone at work should I get out of the state?

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Kindness often pays off | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 1.77 MB PNG 09/07/23(Thu)15:14:51 No.74657502 >be me >waiting in line to check out at my university's convenience store >cute chinese girl in front of me goes to pay cash, is told she can't pay with cash and she doesn't have a card >I pay for her (it was like three dollars) >she looks at me like she's about to cry trying to give me cash saying "THANK YOO" >I tell her it's ok >she says "BUT U DONT EVEN KNOW ME??" >i say OK then I'll get to know you, what is your phone number? >she gives me her phone number >we met up tonight and I played piano for her as she fell in love with me >she hugged me goodbye and now we're going to watch a movie together tomorrow Can I cuddle her when we watch the movie and can I kiss her? Do I have to wait before marriage until we have sex or anything
: Anonymous 1.77 MB PNG 09/07/23(Thu)15:14:51 No.74657502 >be me >waiting in line to check out at my university's convenience store >cute chinese girl in front of me goes to pay cash, is told she can't pay with cash and she doesn't have a card >I pay for her (it was like three dollars) >she looks at me like she's about to cry trying to give me cash saying "THANK YOO" >I tell her it's ok >she says "BUT U DONT EVEN KNOW ME??" >i say OK then I'll get to know you, what is your phone number? >she gives me her phone number >we met up tonight and I played piano for her as she fell in love with me >she hugged me goodbye and now we're going to watch a movie together tomorrow Can I cuddle her when we watch the movie and can I kiss her? Do I have to wait before marriage until we have sex or anything

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Age is just a number... Or is it? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ♥CES 210 KB JPG 09/07/23(Thu)08:25:21 No.74655010 Was I molested? >talking with gf >a summer fling I had as a teen comes up >tell her the girl was 23 and I was 16 >she tells me I was molested >tell her I dont think I was molested >she keeps bringing it up and telling me I was molested
: Anonymous ♥CES 210 KB JPG 09/07/23(Thu)08:25:21 No.74655010 Was I molested? >talking with gf >a summer fling I had as a teen comes up >tell her the girl was 23 and I was 16 >she tells me I was molested >tell her I dont think I was molested >she keeps bringing it up and telling me I was molested

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Anon has anxiety | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/15/21 (Wed)16:00:37 No.8 >be me >have crippling anxiety >terrified of confrontation >get a phone call >it's an army recruiter >asks me to join >too afraid to say no >mfw i'm going to boot camp in 2 weeks
Anonymous 09/15/21 (Wed)16:00:37 No.8 >be me >have crippling anxiety >terrified of confrontation >get a phone call >it's an army recruiter >asks me to join >too afraid to say no >mfw i'm going to boot camp in 2 weeks

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God's favourite country | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >biggest army on earth >still can't beat rice farmers and opium farmers >biggest health expenditure on earth >get heart attack and you will be bankrupt >biggest wealth gap on earth even bigger than what led to the French revolution WA 08 Free 10 PARAN Ocran Lar ww HT Gene MY wy hopes AZ ww ND MEXICO Fieredels 50 UNITEDISTA A ESS MO CABADA M H CENA OF TH Daliai A Gull of Mee 49 KB JPG Narth Adlawnic Gon 09/07/23(Thu)14:51:41 No.74657324 HALSE >people still don't revolt the f--- are their problems?
: Anonymous >biggest army on earth >still can't beat rice farmers and opium farmers >biggest health expenditure on earth >get heart attack and you will be bankrupt >biggest wealth gap on earth even bigger than what led to the French revolution WA 08 Free 10 PARAN Ocran Lar ww HT Gene MY wy hopes AZ ww ND MEXICO Fieredels 50 UNITEDISTA A ESS MO CABADA M H CENA OF TH Daliai A Gull of Mee 49 KB JPG Narth Adlawnic Gon 09/07/23(Thu)14:51:41 No.74657324 HALSE >people still don't revolt the f--- are their problems?

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Such a good episode | /r/Greentext

mikecat.png 241 KB PNG >>188865027 (OP) # >here's what's gonna happen. I'm gonna go out that door - you're gonna let me out, and then you're gonna come back here and sit down again, and then I'm gonna scratch at the door for you to let me back in, but I'm not gonna come back in - I'm just gonna stare at you. if you close the door on me while I'm out there I'm just gonna scratch again, and if you ignore me I'm gonna meow really loud non-stop, so don't get any funny ideas. tonight, I'm gonna leave a dead mouse in your bed, and I'm gonna throw up in the laundry room - behind the dryer. >>188865202 # >>188865259 # >>188865541 # >>188865653 # >>188867355 # >>188867468 # >>188867689 # >>188870898 #
mikecat.png 241 KB PNG >>188865027 (OP) # >here's what's gonna happen. I'm gonna go out that door - you're gonna let me out, and then you're gonna come back here and sit down again, and then I'm gonna scratch at the door for you to let me back in, but I'm not gonna come back in - I'm just gonna stare at you. if you close the door on me while I'm out there I'm just gonna scratch again, and if you ignore me I'm gonna meow really loud non-stop, so don't get any funny ideas. tonight, I'm gonna leave a dead mouse in your bed, and I'm gonna throw up in the laundry room - behind the dryer. >>188865202 # >>188865259 # >>188865541 # >>188865653 # >>188867355 # >>188867468 # >>188867689 # >>188870898 #

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Anon doesn't get the bosse | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/07/23(Thu)19:16:55 No.189606304 ✓ mqdefault.jpg (13 KB, 320x180) google yandex iqdb wait that evening. >when you go to your femboy twink fuckbuddy house to watch kino >using internal speakers of television >Not even a s----- Bose soundbar Let's just say, he did not get my audiosnake
Anonymous 09/07/23(Thu)19:16:55 No.189606304 ✓ mqdefault.jpg (13 KB, 320x180) google yandex iqdb wait that evening. >when you go to your femboy twink fuckbuddy house to watch kino >using internal speakers of television >Not even a s----- Bose soundbar Let's just say, he did not get my audiosnake

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The party pooper | /r/Greentext

GWAKXSIU. US 4h (9/7 3:16). 18627106 4 Re 0 Img JPG 33KB (654 x 527) sadapu.jpg my s----- blackpilled wagie day >at work >event hall rental place in Cuckmerica >have to host a Sweet 16 party >full house with teens and their parents >catering guy comes in clearly distressed >"uh anon I reeeeeeeeaally gotta go" >w-- ok >take him to the bathroom and it starts to f------ stink >look back and notice a snail trail of liquid s--- from his pants going across the building >kids horrified >boomer parents screaming for the manager >I rush him out the front door while he whimpers to himself in defeat >10 minutes later a kid tells me he came back >hes standing there in the catering room with pants wet and brown with actual s--- >hes using his bare hands to take food out of trays >start screaming to get the f--- out and push him out the back door : >this s------ comes back a third time looking for his phone >told him hes f----- and threw it out the door at him >catering company is in total shock >no one can get a hold of the s------ >I have to clean the s------'s s--- out of the carpet >my boss is blaming me >mfw
GWAKXSIU. US 4h (9/7 3:16). 18627106 4 Re 0 Img JPG 33KB (654 x 527) sadapu.jpg my s----- blackpilled wagie day >at work >event hall rental place in Cuckmerica >have to host a Sweet 16 party >full house with teens and their parents >catering guy comes in clearly distressed >"uh anon I reeeeeeeeaally gotta go" >w-- ok >take him to the bathroom and it starts to f------ stink >look back and notice a snail trail of liquid s--- from his pants going across the building >kids horrified >boomer parents screaming for the manager >I rush him out the front door while he whimpers to himself in defeat >10 minutes later a kid tells me he came back >hes standing there in the catering room with pants wet and brown with actual s--- >hes using his bare hands to take food out of trays >start screaming to get the f--- out and push him out the back door : >this s------ comes back a third time looking for his phone >told him hes f----- and threw it out the door at him >catering company is in total shock >no one can get a hold of the s------ >I have to clean the s------'s s--- out of the carpet >my boss is blaming me >mfw

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Anon wants to hear the girl’s voice but can’t | /r/Greentext

1691709703950096.jpg (139 KB, 956x1377) google yandex iqdb O Anonymous 09/06/23(Wed)15:46:35 wait No.74651198 >>74651232 >>74651321 >>74651756 >>74652007 >>74652693 >>74652733 >start talking to a girl >i grow close to her >i get clingy >i ask her to vc >she refuses because of social anxiety >i keep pushing >i tell her I've given her everything i have and if she doesn't open up to me it all feels one-sided >i get ignored the next day You can be empathetic, good-looking and pleasant to be around all you want but women will always fail to bring something equal to the table. You've got to live with it or face troubles. Anyone who puts up with this s--- is a spiritual cuckhold whether he is chad or virgin.
1691709703950096.jpg (139 KB, 956x1377) google yandex iqdb O Anonymous 09/06/23(Wed)15:46:35 wait No.74651198 >>74651232 >>74651321 >>74651756 >>74652007 >>74652693 >>74652733 >start talking to a girl >i grow close to her >i get clingy >i ask her to vc >she refuses because of social anxiety >i keep pushing >i tell her I've given her everything i have and if she doesn't open up to me it all feels one-sided >i get ignored the next day You can be empathetic, good-looking and pleasant to be around all you want but women will always fail to bring something equal to the table. You've got to live with it or face troubles. Anyone who puts up with this s--- is a spiritual cuckhold whether he is chad or virgin.

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Caught by a molester | /r/Greentext

Based Social Reject 24m (9/7 16:28). 905678846 0 Re-0 Img JPG 12KB (299 × 168) Creepy Gym Teahcer.jpg The Time I Spanked The Monkey At School >be me >hit puberty early (at like 11) >become a coomer young >spend the next few years beating it daily >be in the last year of school before I dropped out ⠀ >girl I had crush on came to school with no bra, underwear, and in a tight semi transparent dress >stare until massive boner >I know what I must do but don't know if I have the time to do it >run to the bathroom >proceed to beat my meat like it owed me money for almost an entire class period >gym teacher catches me >I stare at him in shock, my micro penis still in hand >he doesn't move or say a word so anyway thats how I found out PE teacher was a sick kid toucher
Based Social Reject 24m (9/7 16:28). 905678846 0 Re-0 Img JPG 12KB (299 × 168) Creepy Gym Teahcer.jpg The Time I Spanked The Monkey At School >be me >hit puberty early (at like 11) >become a coomer young >spend the next few years beating it daily >be in the last year of school before I dropped out ⠀ >girl I had crush on came to school with no bra, underwear, and in a tight semi transparent dress >stare until massive boner >I know what I must do but don't know if I have the time to do it >run to the bathroom >proceed to beat my meat like it owed me money for almost an entire class period >gym teacher catches me >I stare at him in shock, my micro penis still in hand >he doesn't move or say a word so anyway thats how I found out PE teacher was a sick kid toucher

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Anon smells poop | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/06/23 (Wed)20:35:50 No.74652892 C 14320252154015425.jpg 17 KB JPG >chad roomate was doing a--- with some girl in the next room >kept hearing her scream "f--- my ass" >smell came from under the door and my room smells like poop now its over
Anonymous 09/06/23 (Wed)20:35:50 No.74652892 C 14320252154015425.jpg 17 KB JPG >chad roomate was doing a--- with some girl in the next room >kept hearing her scream "f--- my ass" >smell came from under the door and my room smells like poop now its over

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I remember him saying this | /r/Greentext

File: old man.jpg (40 KB, 780x536) Anonymous 09/06/23(Wed)15:07:51 No.189569889 ► >>189571523 >>189571681 >>189571843 >>189572153 >>189572278 >>189572741 >>189572829 >>189574077 >>189576228 >>189576295 >>189576322 >>189577729 >>189578195 >>189578524>>189579692 >>189580142 >>189580625 >>189582870 >>189582874 >"I married a beautiful woman and acquired a business from her old man for free with 0 financial risk on my end and you are some weird looking mother f------ with a f----- hair cut trying to mock my life? I bet you don't even have an honest job yet here you are trying to make me flip a coin like some queer. Get the f--- out of my store you f----- hippy before I call the cops."
File: old man.jpg (40 KB, 780x536) Anonymous 09/06/23(Wed)15:07:51 No.189569889 ► >>189571523 >>189571681 >>189571843 >>189572153 >>189572278 >>189572741 >>189572829 >>189574077 >>189576228 >>189576295 >>189576322 >>189577729 >>189578195 >>189578524>>189579692 >>189580142 >>189580625 >>189582870 >>189582874 >"I married a beautiful woman and acquired a business from her old man for free with 0 financial risk on my end and you are some weird looking mother f------ with a f----- hair cut trying to mock my life? I bet you don't even have an honest job yet here you are trying to make me flip a coin like some queer. Get the f--- out of my store you f----- hippy before I call the cops."

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Battle of the sexes | /r/Greentext

Battle of the sexes Anonymous 09/07/23(Thu)20:3- >be me >m >curious about life as f >decide to compare tinder >no matches at all with my well thought out m profile >100 people right swipe in one day as f picture of ceiling >reach 500 as f picture of girl i found online, pic related >curious.jpg >girls must have it easy >hear about faceapp >seems weird but looks convincing >get over 1000 in a day as f version of me >f------ confused >not like dysphoria just bafflement >start to wonder >post same pics to reddit and leave overnight >wake up to hundreds of dms and thousands of upvotes >w-- >people wanting to pay money for nudes and s--- >f--- this >one guy wants to pay $5000 >doesnt tell me what he wants just asks for discord >even more curious >give him fake discord >message with him for a while >before going to bed asks me for paypal >give him a link that doesnt show my irl name >s--- a brick he actually gave me 5k >feel bad but no idea what to do >say thank you, ask what I can do for him >he ghosts me >w-- >also blocks me on everything >is this normal? >am i more attractive as a girl or something >slowly delete posts and eventually accounts >this was last year >gotawaywithit.png >maybe we should all become girls anons >life would be so much easier
Battle of the sexes Anonymous 09/07/23(Thu)20:3- >be me >m >curious about life as f >decide to compare tinder >no matches at all with my well thought out m profile >100 people right swipe in one day as f picture of ceiling >reach 500 as f picture of girl i found online, pic related >curious.jpg >girls must have it easy >hear about faceapp >seems weird but looks convincing >get over 1000 in a day as f version of me >f------ confused >not like dysphoria just bafflement >start to wonder >post same pics to reddit and leave overnight >wake up to hundreds of dms and thousands of upvotes >w-- >people wanting to pay money for nudes and s--- >f--- this >one guy wants to pay $5000 >doesnt tell me what he wants just asks for discord >even more curious >give him fake discord >message with him for a while >before going to bed asks me for paypal >give him a link that doesnt show my irl name >s--- a brick he actually gave me 5k >feel bad but no idea what to do >say thank you, ask what I can do for him >he ghosts me >w-- >also blocks me on everything >is this normal? >am i more attractive as a girl or something >slowly delete posts and eventually accounts >this was last year >gotawaywithit.png >maybe we should all become girls anons >life would be so much easier

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Hate women everybody | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 74 KB JPG Anonymous 39 KB JPG 04/07/21 (Wed)08:07:56 No.63094517 >he saves p--- on his computer 04/07/21 (Wed)08:22:34 No.63094672 >>63094517 (OP) # >she is unironically a woman >>63094687 # >>63096708 #
: Anonymous 74 KB JPG Anonymous 39 KB JPG 04/07/21 (Wed)08:07:56 No.63094517 >he saves p--- on his computer 04/07/21 (Wed)08:22:34 No.63094672 >>63094517 (OP) # >she is unironically a woman >>63094687 # >>63096708 #

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All it takes is just one misunderstanding | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/27/23(Sun)01:07:06 No.74520342 321 KB PNG >talking about x men movies w some friends >i start joking about how badly i want to f--- young magneto >met with appalled reactions >"oh come on, this isnt a safe space for me to talk about wanting that actor who plays young magnetos c--- in my mouth-? you guys are losers" >extremely weird reactions considering i say horny s--- like this all the time and usually they dont react this way oh god. just had the horrifying realization that they didnt think i was talking about the young adult magneto, they thought i was talking about the magneto from the scenes where his mom dies and hes like 12. oh god they think im a shotacon now.
: Anonymous 08/27/23(Sun)01:07:06 No.74520342 321 KB PNG >talking about x men movies w some friends >i start joking about how badly i want to f--- young magneto >met with appalled reactions >"oh come on, this isnt a safe space for me to talk about wanting that actor who plays young magnetos c--- in my mouth-? you guys are losers" >extremely weird reactions considering i say horny s--- like this all the time and usually they dont react this way oh god. just had the horrifying realization that they didnt think i was talking about the young adult magneto, they thought i was talking about the magneto from the scenes where his mom dies and hes like 12. oh god they think im a shotacon now.

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Happy ending or not??? | /r/Greentext

Ultimate f--- up PUNCH NAZIS H.T.jpg 112 KB JPG I'll keep it simple but this is f------ bad. >Doctor told me I can't have kids >Wife stops using birth control due to this >Gets pregnant from me within 3 months of stopping it >Get prenatal test, It's actually mine, wife is thankfully understanding of my suspicion Well what the f--- do I do now? We're Catholic so we can't exactly abort.
Ultimate f--- up PUNCH NAZIS H.T.jpg 112 KB JPG I'll keep it simple but this is f------ bad. >Doctor told me I can't have kids >Wife stops using birth control due to this >Gets pregnant from me within 3 months of stopping it >Get prenatal test, It's actually mine, wife is thankfully understanding of my suspicion Well what the f--- do I do now? We're Catholic so we can't exactly abort.

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Falling in love | /r/Greentext

jq5qoGQu AR 38m (9/7 7:13) 18628458 3 Re-0 Img X JPG 20KB (316 × 426) 69bf61941a7c343207d1d14784124785.j pg How can i confess my feelings to her? >be me >start of the year >dream about her >typical nerdy kid >start being really good friends with this girl since the start of high school >solid 7/10, short hair, very short in height compensates everything with her wonderful personality >we were cuddling on a white bed >woke up almost sobbing and discovered feelings for her : >i havent yet confessed my feelings for her >Im not interested in any sexual way with her, i just want her on my arms >plan to do it this friday Do yall believe in me?
jq5qoGQu AR 38m (9/7 7:13) 18628458 3 Re-0 Img X JPG 20KB (316 × 426) 69bf61941a7c343207d1d14784124785.j pg How can i confess my feelings to her? >be me >start of the year >dream about her >typical nerdy kid >start being really good friends with this girl since the start of high school >solid 7/10, short hair, very short in height compensates everything with her wonderful personality >we were cuddling on a white bed >woke up almost sobbing and discovered feelings for her : >i havent yet confessed my feelings for her >Im not interested in any sexual way with her, i just want her on my arms >plan to do it this friday Do yall believe in me?

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Wat do anons | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous not pregnant D we need to talk do i keep it or what??? A A 123 09/06/23 (Wed) 09:58:01 No.905632895 Rosemary N Wait dw, i know who to ask Message Cash S QWE R T YUI OP Oh god AS D F G H J K L Read 7:34 AM space XCV BN M What do i do now.jpg 265 KB JPG Ok /b/, what the f--- do i do now? return
: Anonymous not pregnant D we need to talk do i keep it or what??? A A 123 09/06/23 (Wed) 09:58:01 No.905632895 Rosemary N Wait dw, i know who to ask Message Cash S QWE R T YUI OP Oh god AS D F G H J K L Read 7:34 AM space XCV BN M What do i do now.jpg 265 KB JPG Ok /b/, what the f--- do i do now? return

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