Greentext Stories - Images

Sorted By:

Centroid humor. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/17/23(Tue)21:47:39 No.71869130 maxresdefault (1).jpg 55 KB JPG >Hey guys, Charlie here >heres me explaining every minute detail of a 30 second clip on Twitter over the course of 10 minutes >here's the most milquetoast YouTuber or corporate drama you've ever heard >reviews thing people like: "it's good" >reviews thing people don't like: "it's bad"
Anonymous 01/17/23(Tue)21:47:39 No.71869130 maxresdefault (1).jpg 55 KB JPG >Hey guys, Charlie here >heres me explaining every minute detail of a 30 second clip on Twitter over the course of 10 minutes >here's the most milquetoast YouTuber or corporate drama you've ever heard >reviews thing people like: "it's good" >reviews thing people don't like: "it's bad"

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

anon is jschlatt | /r/Greentext

Anonymous hahaha 9/11 PN 45 KB JPG 06/30/22(Thu)15:17:28 No.69237399 >be jschlatt >wake up and check the time >it's 9:11 >burst out laughing >eventually get out of bed and go shower >accidentally hit 2 shampoo bottles and cause them to fall >laugh uncontrollably >get dressed and go outside >listen to some music while i walk >september by earth wind and fire comes on >nearly s--- myself laughing >walk down the road see an arab get in a taxi >"airport please" he says >throat is in agony from laughing, literally crying from laughter >collapse on the sidewalk >a woman runs up to me lying on the sidewalk, gasping for air, and yells "someone call 911" >my body gives up >die
Anonymous hahaha 9/11 PN 45 KB JPG 06/30/22(Thu)15:17:28 No.69237399 >be jschlatt >wake up and check the time >it's 9:11 >burst out laughing >eventually get out of bed and go shower >accidentally hit 2 shampoo bottles and cause them to fall >laugh uncontrollably >get dressed and go outside >listen to some music while i walk >september by earth wind and fire comes on >nearly s--- myself laughing >walk down the road see an arab get in a taxi >"airport please" he says >throat is in agony from laughing, literally crying from laughter >collapse on the sidewalk >a woman runs up to me lying on the sidewalk, gasping for air, and yells "someone call 911" >my body gives up >die

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Anon meets a hr worker | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 34 KB PNG 07/25/24(Thu)11:55:02 No.921857215 >apply for IT job at random place >go in for job interview with HR >go inside the building >red flags everywhere >posters all around "we're a family here", "diversity is our strength", etc... >h-------- I think I made a mistake >go into the HR office >woman with neon hair >godfuckingdammit.webp >"Hello anon, I'm [name] and I go by xe/xem, please tell me your pronouns?" >my pronouns are bye/bye >get up and leave >week later get an email >"We're very sorry but you have not been accepted and you are also on our blacklist as our HR told us you were very unfriendly with them and gave them bad vibes" Holy f------ s--- I'd rather stay a f------ NEET 1 Reply View Thread
Anonymous 34 KB PNG 07/25/24(Thu)11:55:02 No.921857215 >apply for IT job at random place >go in for job interview with HR >go inside the building >red flags everywhere >posters all around "we're a family here", "diversity is our strength", etc... >h-------- I think I made a mistake >go into the HR office >woman with neon hair >godfuckingdammit.webp >"Hello anon, I'm [name] and I go by xe/xem, please tell me your pronouns?" >my pronouns are bye/bye >get up and leave >week later get an email >"We're very sorry but you have not been accepted and you are also on our blacklist as our HR told us you were very unfriendly with them and gave them bad vibes" Holy f------ s--- I'd rather stay a f------ NEET 1 Reply View Thread

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

This is going to piss some people off. | /r/Greentext

What is the evolutionary-historic reason why women aren't attracted to intelligence, surely intelligence helped the hunting group getting a juicy mammoth? 139 KB JPG Anonymous 08/23/22(Tue)20:49:03 No.13842615 Women are attracted to actual intelligence (how to succeed in life), not incelligence (eidetic memory of one's entire pepe folder and strategic knowledge of how Germany could've won WW2)
What is the evolutionary-historic reason why women aren't attracted to intelligence, surely intelligence helped the hunting group getting a juicy mammoth? 139 KB JPG Anonymous 08/23/22(Tue)20:49:03 No.13842615 Women are attracted to actual intelligence (how to succeed in life), not incelligence (eidetic memory of one's entire pepe folder and strategic knowledge of how Germany could've won WW2)

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Out of this world perfection | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/17/24(Wed)02:15:47 No.201365457 1.jpg 2.47 MB JPG >Supposedly the "perfect lifeform" >Flails around like a complete retard >Doesn't seem to know to communicate at all, maybe at the level of a very young child >Just wants to kill everything it sees and reproduce >Trillions of dollars and centuries of research has been spent on this alien for some reason Why? Why can't the movies just center around this f------ cool alien that just wants to destroy everything? It makes no sense.
Anonymous 07/17/24(Wed)02:15:47 No.201365457 1.jpg 2.47 MB JPG >Supposedly the "perfect lifeform" >Flails around like a complete retard >Doesn't seem to know to communicate at all, maybe at the level of a very young child >Just wants to kill everything it sees and reproduce >Trillions of dollars and centuries of research has been spent on this alien for some reason Why? Why can't the movies just center around this f------ cool alien that just wants to destroy everything? It makes no sense.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Finest Hour | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/14/24(Sun)15:21:59 No.268794135 1693266595745244.jpg 112 KB JPG >superhero name is "Shy" >powers don't include invisibility or noise cancellation Who the f--- comes up with this s---???? >>268794288 # >>268794351 # >>268795192 #
Anonymous 07/14/24(Sun)15:21:59 No.268794135 1693266595745244.jpg 112 KB JPG >superhero name is "Shy" >powers don't include invisibility or noise cancellation Who the f--- comes up with this s---???? >>268794288 # >>268794351 # >>268795192 #

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

anon goes on vacation | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: +iOUO4d5 1 07/25/24(Thu)01:59:26 No.475576230 D >be white femanon >be in india >wear shirt that shows an inch of cleavage >walk outside >noisy s--- ridden street goes silent >suddenly crowded by hundreds of jeets silently staring at me >they follow me everywhere I go >picrl why are they like this though?
Anonymous (ID: +iOUO4d5 1 07/25/24(Thu)01:59:26 No.475576230 D >be white femanon >be in india >wear shirt that shows an inch of cleavage >walk outside >noisy s--- ridden street goes silent >suddenly crowded by hundreds of jeets silently staring at me >they follow me everywhere I go >picrl why are they like this though?

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

genius indeed | /r/Greentext

WHO WOULD WIN? 1 trillion lions the sun Anonymous 02/01/15(Sun)12:54:27 No.595831502 The lions would win if they attacked at night 10 Most Intelligent People of All Time Alltime10s 10 Subscribe 5.4M + Add to Share ...More 1,741,403 views 17,837 1,799
WHO WOULD WIN? 1 trillion lions the sun Anonymous 02/01/15(Sun)12:54:27 No.595831502 The lions would win if they attacked at night 10 Most Intelligent People of All Time Alltime10s 10 Subscribe 5.4M + Add to Share ...More 1,741,403 views 17,837 1,799

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Anon goes to "conversion therapy" | /r/Greentext

35 KB PNG situation >be me around 2010 >15-16 years old, gay or at least I thought >Come out to mom and dad >They are heartbroken and want me to start conversion therapy of a sort since they're the worst kind of religious >Guy who's 19 who goes to my church and kinda chill with me is aware of the >Tells my parents that for $100 a week for 10 weeks, two sessions a week he can perform effective conversion therapy >I am skeptical but better than the alternative >Mom happily drops me at his house >He opens up and talks to me saying "do not tell your mom anything but I know what you're going through and you're not alone" >Ends up spending an hour playing Xbox 360 games with me and giving me snacks while chilling with some pop punk music blaring in the background >This occurs for all 10 f------ weeks and I tell my parents different things that didn't actually happen pretending I was becoming more straight >At the end of the 10 weeks my "therapist" says if I need anything him and his roommates can help >Also hands me $300 to keep that most definitely came from my mom >Pretend that it "saved" me so I don't have to go through actual conversion therapy and to this day my parents are unaware The best part? I don't think I'm actually gay I just don't really have a strong urge to be in a relationship, however I may have slight attraction to some girls, so maybe that s--- worked on me all along.
35 KB PNG situation >be me around 2010 >15-16 years old, gay or at least I thought >Come out to mom and dad >They are heartbroken and want me to start conversion therapy of a sort since they're the worst kind of religious >Guy who's 19 who goes to my church and kinda chill with me is aware of the >Tells my parents that for $100 a week for 10 weeks, two sessions a week he can perform effective conversion therapy >I am skeptical but better than the alternative >Mom happily drops me at his house >He opens up and talks to me saying "do not tell your mom anything but I know what you're going through and you're not alone" >Ends up spending an hour playing Xbox 360 games with me and giving me snacks while chilling with some pop punk music blaring in the background >This occurs for all 10 f------ weeks and I tell my parents different things that didn't actually happen pretending I was becoming more straight >At the end of the 10 weeks my "therapist" says if I need anything him and his roommates can help >Also hands me $300 to keep that most definitely came from my mom >Pretend that it "saved" me so I don't have to go through actual conversion therapy and to this day my parents are unaware The best part? I don't think I'm actually gay I just don't really have a strong urge to be in a relationship, however I may have slight attraction to some girls, so maybe that s--- worked on me all along.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Hogwarts shenanigans | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/24/24(Wed)19:24:24 No.201669998 >"It appears that Slytherin are in first place with 759 points. Cheers, cheers, Slytherin..." Dumbledore announced calmly, "HOWEVER, before I present the House Cup, last minute adjustments must be made." >a cacophony of whispers fills the hall >"Harry Potter..." the aging headmaster said, stretching his legs from the podium to Harry's seat. He stood next to the bemused chosen one, "what is one plus one?" >Harry, completely befuddled by the question, answered tentatively. "Two, sir?" >"YES! YES! THAT IS INDEED THE ANSWER!" Dumbledore yelled calmly. "TO HARRY M------------ POTTER, FOR YOUR HEADSTRONG APPROACH TO THE FIELD OF MATHEMATICS AND SUCCESSFUL DIVINATION OF A SOLUTION TO AN EQUATION, I AWARD YOU ONE BILLION F------ POINTS!" >The Slytherins groan. Another year gone, another House Cup lost. >"AAAAAAAND WHAT DO YOU KNOW IT LOOKS LIKE GRYFFINDOR WINS THE HOUSE CUP AGAIN!" the headmaster bellowed. From under his robe, twenty legs stretched out and started to curbstomp every Slytherin f------ s--- into the table. Broken teeth clattered on the floor, drops of blood spread over the fine oak. "WHAT'S WRONG, SLYTHERIN? EVERY REACTION HAS AN EQUAL AND OPPOSITE REACTION AFTER ALL! FOR EVERY GRYFFINDOR THAT CAN ADD, ONE HUNDRED OF YOU DEGENERATES MUST BE SUBTRACTED!" >After one hundred Slytherin students were gruesomely killed, all but two of Dumbledore's legs retreated into his robe. >"Would the remaining Slytherins meet me in my bedchambers tonight?" Dumbledore calmly concluded. "I have another leg to tend to." >>201680953 # >>201685369 # >>201685591 # >>201697469 #
Anonymous 07/24/24(Wed)19:24:24 No.201669998 >"It appears that Slytherin are in first place with 759 points. Cheers, cheers, Slytherin..." Dumbledore announced calmly, "HOWEVER, before I present the House Cup, last minute adjustments must be made." >a cacophony of whispers fills the hall >"Harry Potter..." the aging headmaster said, stretching his legs from the podium to Harry's seat. He stood next to the bemused chosen one, "what is one plus one?" >Harry, completely befuddled by the question, answered tentatively. "Two, sir?" >"YES! YES! THAT IS INDEED THE ANSWER!" Dumbledore yelled calmly. "TO HARRY M------------ POTTER, FOR YOUR HEADSTRONG APPROACH TO THE FIELD OF MATHEMATICS AND SUCCESSFUL DIVINATION OF A SOLUTION TO AN EQUATION, I AWARD YOU ONE BILLION F------ POINTS!" >The Slytherins groan. Another year gone, another House Cup lost. >"AAAAAAAND WHAT DO YOU KNOW IT LOOKS LIKE GRYFFINDOR WINS THE HOUSE CUP AGAIN!" the headmaster bellowed. From under his robe, twenty legs stretched out and started to curbstomp every Slytherin f------ s--- into the table. Broken teeth clattered on the floor, drops of blood spread over the fine oak. "WHAT'S WRONG, SLYTHERIN? EVERY REACTION HAS AN EQUAL AND OPPOSITE REACTION AFTER ALL! FOR EVERY GRYFFINDOR THAT CAN ADD, ONE HUNDRED OF YOU DEGENERATES MUST BE SUBTRACTED!" >After one hundred Slytherin students were gruesomely killed, all but two of Dumbledore's legs retreated into his robe. >"Would the remaining Slytherins meet me in my bedchambers tonight?" Dumbledore calmly concluded. "I have another leg to tend to." >>201680953 # >>201685369 # >>201685591 # >>201697469 #

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Extreme Nicotine | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous ▼Settings Mobile Home 07/24/24(Wed)19:43:03 No.78268694 199 KB PNG # Snus Experience >Be me >With Friends >Trying to quit cigarettes >Friend hands me this thing called snus >Tells me its from Sweden >Tucker Carlson is addicted to it >Why not? >Chuck it in my mouth >Instinctively swallow it >mfw everyone is looking at me like I'm a retard
Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous ▼Settings Mobile Home 07/24/24(Wed)19:43:03 No.78268694 199 KB PNG # Snus Experience >Be me >With Friends >Trying to quit cigarettes >Friend hands me this thing called snus >Tells me its from Sweden >Tucker Carlson is addicted to it >Why not? >Chuck it in my mouth >Instinctively swallow it >mfw everyone is looking at me like I'm a retard

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Some things never change | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/19/24(Fri)20:33:17 No. 199951064 52700725eab8eaac66416a5f.jpg 38 KB JPG >humans invent film >first thing they record is cats
: Anonymous 07/19/24(Fri)20:33:17 No. 199951064 52700725eab8eaac66416a5f.jpg 38 KB JPG >humans invent film >first thing they record is cats

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Anon eats a twix | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 71 KB JPG 04/15/22(Fri)18:25:57 No.876351510 >sitting blindfolded >woman in lab coat feeds me a Twix >"Left" >she marks her notes >329 consecutive correct guesses
Anonymous 71 KB JPG 04/15/22(Fri)18:25:57 No.876351510 >sitting blindfolded >woman in lab coat feeds me a Twix >"Left" >she marks her notes >329 consecutive correct guesses

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

The term used to be ironic | /r/Greentext

Anonymous THE 06/03/24(Mon)02:25:05 No.678439318 RIP ABSOLUTE STATE OF THE MMORPG GENRE 152 KB JPG >genre is called MMO RPG >designed to rush you to endgame >all you do is rinse and repeat raids and PvP forever why? actual RPGs aren't like this Anonymous >the absolute state of 06/03/24(Mon)02:26:52 No.678439398 who coined this retarded saying
Anonymous THE 06/03/24(Mon)02:25:05 No.678439318 RIP ABSOLUTE STATE OF THE MMORPG GENRE 152 KB JPG >genre is called MMO RPG >designed to rush you to endgame >all you do is rinse and repeat raids and PvP forever why? actual RPGs aren't like this Anonymous >the absolute state of 06/03/24(Mon)02:26:52 No.678439398 who coined this retarded saying

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Tardy Driver | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous 18. ▼Settings Mobile Home 07/24/24(Wed)15:47:21 No.78266580 893 KB PNG >Get p----- off at slow driver on the road >Finally make it past him >Take time out of your day to damage his vehicle with your own vehicle Point made?
Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous 18. ▼Settings Mobile Home 07/24/24(Wed)15:47:21 No.78266580 893 KB PNG >Get p----- off at slow driver on the road >Finally make it past him >Take time out of your day to damage his vehicle with your own vehicle Point made?

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

A gooner's dilemma | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/24/24(Wed)18:55:04 No.78264842 1721840049592.png 104 KB PNG >need to buy more p--- >already maxxed out my credit card I hate being poor.
Anonymous 07/24/24(Wed)18:55:04 No.78264842 1721840049592.png 104 KB PNG >need to buy more p--- >already maxxed out my credit card I hate being poor.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Wilful Ignorance | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous People for some reason ▼Settings Mobile Home 07/24/24(Wed)10:05:38 No.78263434 OUT OF BUSINESS ELL TH TO TH DANGER 28:02 KEEP OUT The Evil Decline of Britain's Highstreets JimmyTheGiant 39 views • 2 minutes ago 176 KB PNG >OMG the highstreet is dying >*Buys from Amazon* >This is the fault of amazon! Also the same reason why shopping malls are dying in the US but that's a good thing because shopping malls are le bad because you have to drive there.
Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous People for some reason ▼Settings Mobile Home 07/24/24(Wed)10:05:38 No.78263434 OUT OF BUSINESS ELL TH TO TH DANGER 28:02 KEEP OUT The Evil Decline of Britain's Highstreets JimmyTheGiant 39 views • 2 minutes ago 176 KB PNG >OMG the highstreet is dying >*Buys from Amazon* >This is the fault of amazon! Also the same reason why shopping malls are dying in the US but that's a good thing because shopping malls are le bad because you have to drive there.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Sub-Prime IQ Score | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous ▼Settings Mobile Home 07/24/24(Wed)14:47:10 No.78265943 86 KB PNG >Experiences housing market crash in 2008 >Somehow causes global recession Am I missing something here?
Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous ▼Settings Mobile Home 07/24/24(Wed)14:47:10 No.78265943 86 KB PNG >Experiences housing market crash in 2008 >Somehow causes global recession Am I missing something here?

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

First hand experience | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 101 KB JPG >"yeah" 07/24/24(Wed)16:16:19 No.78263529 Yes, women are actually retarded >be me, wageslave cuckQUEEN cashier >work >its hot and I hate people >relatively famous influencer comes by often when its not too crowded >coworkers rush to me after finally seeing him and say "HEY ISNT THAT X?!" >"WHATTT?! Omg we HAVE to take a pic!" >one girl starts trembling in excitement >whatthefuck >"hey nona, can you ask him to take a picture with us?" >"no" >"WHY? Just do it" >"haha nona isnt even affected by him" >trying to hold my disgust in in front of these worshippers >the guy is conventionally good looking but he literally screams pretentious laidback playboy >"pleaseee nona ask him" >"ok" > comes by and i say "hey my friends wanna take a picture with you is that cool?" >"yeah, no problem" >takingapicture >fml >"thank you x!" Coworker1 says >ffw I tell him the total on the register so he can pay >"are these all free now?" >huh >guy points to the groceries hes buying >"no" >his smile falls >"i was just joking" he says >he pays in cash and leaves
Anonymous 101 KB JPG >"yeah" 07/24/24(Wed)16:16:19 No.78263529 Yes, women are actually retarded >be me, wageslave cuckQUEEN cashier >work >its hot and I hate people >relatively famous influencer comes by often when its not too crowded >coworkers rush to me after finally seeing him and say "HEY ISNT THAT X?!" >"WHATTT?! Omg we HAVE to take a pic!" >one girl starts trembling in excitement >whatthefuck >"hey nona, can you ask him to take a picture with us?" >"no" >"WHY? Just do it" >"haha nona isnt even affected by him" >trying to hold my disgust in in front of these worshippers >the guy is conventionally good looking but he literally screams pretentious laidback playboy >"pleaseee nona ask him" >"ok" > comes by and i say "hey my friends wanna take a picture with you is that cool?" >"yeah, no problem" >takingapicture >fml >"thank you x!" Coworker1 says >ffw I tell him the total on the register so he can pay >"are these all free now?" >huh >guy points to the groceries hes buying >"no" >his smile falls >"i was just joking" he says >he pays in cash and leaves

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Anon gets embarrassed by his average size | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 69 KB JPG 07/24/24(Wed)11:32:21 No.921819698 >Be me >On vacation with my girlfriend, her best friend, and his girlfriend >There's a mix-up with the laundry, and all our clothes get mixed together >Turns out the friend and I wear the same brand of boxers, making it hard to tell mine from his >His girlfriend starts picking out and claiming which boxers are his with surprising accuracy >I ask her how she knows which ones are his >She exchanges a look with my girlfriend, and they both giggle >"His boxers are more worn out, that's all" >I look at his boxers and notice they are clearly more stretched out in the groin area than mine >Picture related >I've never been ashamed of my average size before, but I felt a bit embarrassed after hearing that
: Anonymous 69 KB JPG 07/24/24(Wed)11:32:21 No.921819698 >Be me >On vacation with my girlfriend, her best friend, and his girlfriend >There's a mix-up with the laundry, and all our clothes get mixed together >Turns out the friend and I wear the same brand of boxers, making it hard to tell mine from his >His girlfriend starts picking out and claiming which boxers are his with surprising accuracy >I ask her how she knows which ones are his >She exchanges a look with my girlfriend, and they both giggle >"His boxers are more worn out, that's all" >I look at his boxers and notice they are clearly more stretched out in the groin area than mine >Picture related >I've never been ashamed of my average size before, but I felt a bit embarrassed after hearing that

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext