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Anon has found out about reddit. | /r/Greentext

Before internet >i want to f--- toasters. >dont be a f------ retard >grow up After internet >I want to f--- a toaster >google >find a community with 1000+ members about people wanting to f--- toasters >f--- up your life >>107430609 #
Before internet >i want to f--- toasters. >dont be a f------ retard >grow up After internet >I want to f--- a toaster >google >find a community with 1000+ members about people wanting to f--- toasters >f--- up your life >>107430609 #

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Anons dad is proud | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Feels Good Man thread 07/07/18(Sat)12:51:39 No.46628877 >be me yesterday >start working at the same company as my dad >dad shows me around his lab area and i meet some of his friends >try my best to not be autistic since i dont want to embarrass my dad >think i did a pretty good job >had to get back to my part of the lab so i said by and started walking away 192 KB PNG >badge fell out of my pocket so i had to stop and pick it up once i left the room >overhear one of my dads friends say that my dad has a good son >dad says "Yea, hes grown into a fantastic man and im proud of him" I think i finally made it boys, never thought id see the day where my dad would be proud of who I was
Anonymous Feels Good Man thread 07/07/18(Sat)12:51:39 No.46628877 >be me yesterday >start working at the same company as my dad >dad shows me around his lab area and i meet some of his friends >try my best to not be autistic since i dont want to embarrass my dad >think i did a pretty good job >had to get back to my part of the lab so i said by and started walking away 192 KB PNG >badge fell out of my pocket so i had to stop and pick it up once i left the room >overhear one of my dads friends say that my dad has a good son >dad says "Yea, hes grown into a fantastic man and im proud of him" I think i finally made it boys, never thought id see the day where my dad would be proud of who I was

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anon has a problem | /r/Greentext

Sex Fantasy 10/24/22(Mon)23:53:28 No.887913567 >be me >fantasize about sex >get off >later >have sex >dont get off to it >feel sad 224 KB PNG >think i have something wrong with me >go home >fantasize about sex >get off is something wrong with me, both situations were with same girl but when i actually had sex i was bored, but when i fantasized about f------ her i got off faster then ever am i cucking myself or something??
Sex Fantasy 10/24/22(Mon)23:53:28 No.887913567 >be me >fantasize about sex >get off >later >have sex >dont get off to it >feel sad 224 KB PNG >think i have something wrong with me >go home >fantasize about sex >get off is something wrong with me, both situations were with same girl but when i actually had sex i was bored, but when i fantasized about f------ her i got off faster then ever am i cucking myself or something??

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anon got a gf | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 295 KB PNG am 12/15/21 (Wed)15:04:47 No.66575792 >girl I've been paying $600 a month to be my girlfriend says she's caught feelings for me and has started refusing my money >gave me back $1800 out of the $3000 I've paid so far >says she'll give me back the rest when she gets the money >wants to see me more often now What do I do now? Anonymous >>66575792 (OP) >What do I do now? enjoy your gf for free? 12/15/21 (Wed)15:07:20 No.66575822
Anonymous 295 KB PNG am 12/15/21 (Wed)15:04:47 No.66575792 >girl I've been paying $600 a month to be my girlfriend says she's caught feelings for me and has started refusing my money >gave me back $1800 out of the $3000 I've paid so far >says she'll give me back the rest when she gets the money >wants to see me more often now What do I do now? Anonymous >>66575792 (OP) >What do I do now? enjoy your gf for free? 12/15/21 (Wed)15:07:20 No.66575822

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Anon showed his green minions folder to a gril | /r/Greentext

02/04/21(Thu)22:18:34 No.62172 >tfw invited a girl over and unironically showed her my meme frog folder
02/04/21(Thu)22:18:34 No.62172 >tfw invited a girl over and unironically showed her my meme frog folder

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Anon is a Po(o)p Star | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 49 KB PNG : Anonymous 10/23/22(Sun)13:15:37 No.887822412 Poopie butt! Poopie butt! Poopies in the butt Poopies in the butt- Poopie-poopie butt- There is poopies in my butt it's the poopie butt~ 10/23/22(Sun)13:38:30 No.887823427 istockphoto-1020480758-170667a.jpg 67 KB JPG
: Anonymous 49 KB PNG : Anonymous 10/23/22(Sun)13:15:37 No.887822412 Poopie butt! Poopie butt! Poopies in the butt Poopies in the butt- Poopie-poopie butt- There is poopies in my butt it's the poopie butt~ 10/23/22(Sun)13:38:30 No.887823427 istockphoto-1020480758-170667a.jpg 67 KB JPG

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Anon travels to a volcano | /r/Greentext

v.jpg, 69KiB, 726x400 /b/ Anonymous Thu 20 Oct 2022 16:30:42 No.887646915 Don't ever trust dodgy guides /b/ View >Went to NZ with a friend >We've known each other since childhood as we lived in the same street (no h---) >Friend wasn't as convinced but I've always wanted to hike on the great outdoors. >Camping sites and sight seeing was great outside the city, but the further you go the s------- it got >Beautiful fields, forests and snowy peaks change to grey swamps and dry forests >Wanted to go see the nearby active volcano up close but we didn't know how to get there safely >A friend of my uncle knew all about this area, would have asked him but he had passed away recently >Out of chance found a meth head when we were hiking >The guy knew the area like the back of his hand, we were of course very cautious and my buddy kept insisting we should ditch him, but it couldn't be denied he knew the area, likely had been roughing it for years at this point >For some reason whenever we ate he woud asks us if we had sushi, but we had only brought dry rations we knew would last >We could now see the volcano in the horizon, my friend kept insisting we should ditch the meth head >Got into an argument >Eventually just told my friend to f--- off if he wanted, he looked heartbroken (again no h---) but he did >Eventually find a cave we use for camping >After a while in the night I realise the meth head is just gone >After a while in it felt a sharp pain in my stomach >A fuckhuge spider had bitten me >Thought these things lived on in Australia >Likely the cave was infested, so I ran terrified outside. >Try to go to the back to the main trail, but get mugged on the way >Think I'll likely die there >But then my buddy showed up, apparently had been following my tracks for a while >We set up with what little rations we had left towards the volcano >Found meth head once again near the main tourism spot >My friend just f------ tosses a rock at his head >I go in the lookout to see the lava, my friend walks in soon after, yelling nonsense >"Destroy it Mr. Frodo!"
v.jpg, 69KiB, 726x400 /b/ Anonymous Thu 20 Oct 2022 16:30:42 No.887646915 Don't ever trust dodgy guides /b/ View >Went to NZ with a friend >We've known each other since childhood as we lived in the same street (no h---) >Friend wasn't as convinced but I've always wanted to hike on the great outdoors. >Camping sites and sight seeing was great outside the city, but the further you go the s------- it got >Beautiful fields, forests and snowy peaks change to grey swamps and dry forests >Wanted to go see the nearby active volcano up close but we didn't know how to get there safely >A friend of my uncle knew all about this area, would have asked him but he had passed away recently >Out of chance found a meth head when we were hiking >The guy knew the area like the back of his hand, we were of course very cautious and my buddy kept insisting we should ditch him, but it couldn't be denied he knew the area, likely had been roughing it for years at this point >For some reason whenever we ate he woud asks us if we had sushi, but we had only brought dry rations we knew would last >We could now see the volcano in the horizon, my friend kept insisting we should ditch the meth head >Got into an argument >Eventually just told my friend to f--- off if he wanted, he looked heartbroken (again no h---) but he did >Eventually find a cave we use for camping >After a while in the night I realise the meth head is just gone >After a while in it felt a sharp pain in my stomach >A fuckhuge spider had bitten me >Thought these things lived on in Australia >Likely the cave was infested, so I ran terrified outside. >Try to go to the back to the main trail, but get mugged on the way >Think I'll likely die there >But then my buddy showed up, apparently had been following my tracks for a while >We set up with what little rations we had left towards the volcano >Found meth head once again near the main tourism spot >My friend just f------ tosses a rock at his head >I go in the lookout to see the lava, my friend walks in soon after, yelling nonsense >"Destroy it Mr. Frodo!"

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Anon works at the suicide hotline | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 815056689 124.0 KB PNG 3 REPLIES 1시간 전 ●● Hey /b/ I need to tell you guys a story >Be me >Be working at suicide hotline >Have access to donation logs >Go through them from time to time between calls >Notice a man has made a donation of $17.50 every month, same day, for a couple years >Check to see if there's a note with the donations >They all read something like as follows "To Jason, from dad. I miss you every day" >I asked about it, turns out his son killed himself when he was really young >That money is his son's allowance Don't think that people won't miss you, or people will forget you, you are loved anon even if you don't feel it right now. 3 IMAGES REPLY
Anonymous 815056689 124.0 KB PNG 3 REPLIES 1시간 전 ●● Hey /b/ I need to tell you guys a story >Be me >Be working at suicide hotline >Have access to donation logs >Go through them from time to time between calls >Notice a man has made a donation of $17.50 every month, same day, for a couple years >Check to see if there's a note with the donations >They all read something like as follows "To Jason, from dad. I miss you every day" >I asked about it, turns out his son killed himself when he was really young >That money is his son's allowance Don't think that people won't miss you, or people will forget you, you are loved anon even if you don't feel it right now. 3 IMAGES REPLY

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anon is a rapper | /r/Greentext

pepe_frog.jpg (62 KB, 976x850) google yandex iqdb wait how f----- I am? Anonymous 10/24/22(Mon)15:26:01 No.70710951 [2] [Reply] >first zoom meeting at new company >"anon please introduce yourself" >start freestyle rapping >call the partner a big guy and my manager coworker a cutie blonde >moment of silence that felt like forever >partner says thank you lets move on to the next topic Anonymous 10/24/22(Mon)15:51:35 No.70711138 ✓ image (1).png (80 KB, 231x218) google yandex iqdb wait Anon, be honest, how autistic are you?
pepe_frog.jpg (62 KB, 976x850) google yandex iqdb wait how f----- I am? Anonymous 10/24/22(Mon)15:26:01 No.70710951 [2] [Reply] >first zoom meeting at new company >"anon please introduce yourself" >start freestyle rapping >call the partner a big guy and my manager coworker a cutie blonde >moment of silence that felt like forever >partner says thank you lets move on to the next topic Anonymous 10/24/22(Mon)15:51:35 No.70711138 ✓ image (1).png (80 KB, 231x218) google yandex iqdb wait Anon, be honest, how autistic are you?

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Anon is too intelligent | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 35 KB JPG 12/18/21(Sat)14:04:41 No.66614926 >tfw too intelligent for heterosexuality Being gay is my only hope of finding a partner even close to my intellectual league. 12/18/21(Sat)15:40:12 No.66616042 : Anonymous Are you from Ancient Greece or something
: Anonymous 35 KB JPG 12/18/21(Sat)14:04:41 No.66614926 >tfw too intelligent for heterosexuality Being gay is my only hope of finding a partner even close to my intellectual league. 12/18/21(Sat)15:40:12 No.66616042 : Anonymous Are you from Ancient Greece or something

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anon gets hot | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/24/22(Mon)11:25:34 No.70711917 43 KB JPG > Be me, 5'6 manlet > Getting hot and heavy with nice piece of ass fwb > She knows that I talk to 2 other girls > She's kissing on my neck while we're talking s--- to each other because that's how we communicate > Says "you should call one of your little girlfriends right now" > Not a p----, so call up my favorite > She answers and we talk for like 10 minutes all while fwb is biting my neck and stroking my d---. > Fwb gets p----- off when she hears the girl on the phone say "I love you" > Hang up the phone and fwb proceeds to give me the b------ of my f------ life out of spite. >Life is good 8 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 10/24/22(Mon)11:25:34 No.70711917 43 KB JPG > Be me, 5'6 manlet > Getting hot and heavy with nice piece of ass fwb > She knows that I talk to 2 other girls > She's kissing on my neck while we're talking s--- to each other because that's how we communicate > Says "you should call one of your little girlfriends right now" > Not a p----, so call up my favorite > She answers and we talk for like 10 minutes all while fwb is biting my neck and stroking my d---. > Fwb gets p----- off when she hears the girl on the phone say "I love you" > Hang up the phone and fwb proceeds to give me the b------ of my f------ life out of spite. >Life is good 8 Replies View Thread

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Anon will die virgin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous had a Chad moment 92 KB JPG 10/24/22(Mon)17:02:11 No.70710207 >be myself at college >sitting at the cafeteria alone >classmates are ordering food >minding my business >laughing at memes on my phone >this strange goth girl passes by >couple of mins later >she passes by from another direction >comes up to my table >"You seem lonely.. something something mumble".. >no, my friends are ordering food, but you can sit if you like, smile >stays standing, looks left and right >"Oh, ok.. mumble mumble mumble..." >leaves without a bye or anything >confuse.. I learned something. I could have shot her down right away which I wanted but instead told her please sit let's chat. I wouldn't do anything because she did a grave mistake that I noticed and I guarantee a million of r9k frens do this daily. She insulted me in the opening. It should be, hi, can I sit with you? But she said "you look lonely". I felt insulted. F--- you bitch! She lost before we started. Anyways, I had this rare inside Chad moment and wanted to tell you my learning. Open nicely with a compliment, don't be an a------, "oh you look confused, need directions," "hey you look like a lonely sack of potatoes ". F--- that, you will be shot down in a split of a second.
: Anonymous had a Chad moment 92 KB JPG 10/24/22(Mon)17:02:11 No.70710207 >be myself at college >sitting at the cafeteria alone >classmates are ordering food >minding my business >laughing at memes on my phone >this strange goth girl passes by >couple of mins later >she passes by from another direction >comes up to my table >"You seem lonely.. something something mumble".. >no, my friends are ordering food, but you can sit if you like, smile >stays standing, looks left and right >"Oh, ok.. mumble mumble mumble..." >leaves without a bye or anything >confuse.. I learned something. I could have shot her down right away which I wanted but instead told her please sit let's chat. I wouldn't do anything because she did a grave mistake that I noticed and I guarantee a million of r9k frens do this daily. She insulted me in the opening. It should be, hi, can I sit with you? But she said "you look lonely". I felt insulted. F--- you bitch! She lost before we started. Anyways, I had this rare inside Chad moment and wanted to tell you my learning. Open nicely with a compliment, don't be an a------, "oh you look confused, need directions," "hey you look like a lonely sack of potatoes ". F--- that, you will be shot down in a split of a second.

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Anon's simpification | /r/Greentext


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Pig Auschwitz | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: bNuqCiC3) China's ultra efficient Auschw(...) > China build the biggest pigpen and slaughterhouse in the world. 26 stories tall and 800k square meters will be capable of "processing" 1.2 million pigs every year. > Raising 1.2 million pigs under regular slaughterhouse conditions would require 368,000 square meters. 169 KB JPG 10/24/22(Mon)11:05:46 No.401287501 Basically with these Auschwitz for pigs the Chinese will be able to raise millions of pigs per year. But their goal isn't just efficiency, they want to create a fully enclosed system where if one of the pigs is detected to have a serious fever (like the porcine fever that decimated the Chinese pork meat industry 4 years ago) they can just lock down the place, fill the entire floor where it was detected with gas and then if its detected in other floors euthanize the whole building. Literally an Auschwitz for pigs. 10 Replies / 2 Images Anonymous (ID: ye7ReysS 2.94 MB WEBM View Thread 10/24/22(Mon)11:10:31 No.401288294 >>401287501 (OP) # I prefer the old methods
: Anonymous (ID: bNuqCiC3) China's ultra efficient Auschw(...) > China build the biggest pigpen and slaughterhouse in the world. 26 stories tall and 800k square meters will be capable of "processing" 1.2 million pigs every year. > Raising 1.2 million pigs under regular slaughterhouse conditions would require 368,000 square meters. 169 KB JPG 10/24/22(Mon)11:05:46 No.401287501 Basically with these Auschwitz for pigs the Chinese will be able to raise millions of pigs per year. But their goal isn't just efficiency, they want to create a fully enclosed system where if one of the pigs is detected to have a serious fever (like the porcine fever that decimated the Chinese pork meat industry 4 years ago) they can just lock down the place, fill the entire floor where it was detected with gas and then if its detected in other floors euthanize the whole building. Literally an Auschwitz for pigs. 10 Replies / 2 Images Anonymous (ID: ye7ReysS 2.94 MB WEBM View Thread 10/24/22(Mon)11:10:31 No.401288294 >>401287501 (OP) # I prefer the old methods

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Anon is fυcκed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous how f----- I am? 10/24/22(Mon)18:56:01 No.70710951 >first zoom meeting at new company >"anon please introduce yourself" >start freestyle rapping >call the partner a big guy and my manager coworker a cutie blonde >moment of silence that felt like forever >partner says thank you lets move on to the next topic 62 KB JPG
: Anonymous how f----- I am? 10/24/22(Mon)18:56:01 No.70710951 >first zoom meeting at new company >"anon please introduce yourself" >start freestyle rapping >call the partner a big guy and my manager coworker a cutie blonde >moment of silence that felt like forever >partner says thank you lets move on to the next topic 62 KB JPG

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anon is one of the 149 | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/28/18(Sat)14:28:05 No.11069815 >>11069733 (OP) # Try 99.999%. I've come to terms with the fact that I'm one of the extremely rare people with a soul in a sea of billions. I could be likened to a player character in the deserted world of an old online game nobody plays anymore. My calculations indicate that there are precisely 149 real human beings left in this world, and as it's very unlikely any of them besides me are in this thread, I anticipate that I will be mocked for this post, as you empty vessels lack the appropriate algorithms to process the truth of my statements. >>11069821 #
Anonymous 04/28/18(Sat)14:28:05 No.11069815 >>11069733 (OP) # Try 99.999%. I've come to terms with the fact that I'm one of the extremely rare people with a soul in a sea of billions. I could be likened to a player character in the deserted world of an old online game nobody plays anymore. My calculations indicate that there are precisely 149 real human beings left in this world, and as it's very unlikely any of them besides me are in this thread, I anticipate that I will be mocked for this post, as you empty vessels lack the appropriate algorithms to process the truth of my statements. >>11069821 #

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Anon has a son who makes his life worth living. | /r/Greentext

- File: 3fb85ce1580af24d83f6bde17301e0fe85e(...).png (204 KB, 1063x1063) Parents of /r9k/ Anonymous 10/18/18(Thu)11:30:47 No.48770954 [Reply] >>48771097 >>48771290 >>48771357 >>48772582 >>48772649 >be 19 yr old kv suicidal depressed neet >live with parents >unmarried sister gets preggers because of her bf and doesn't want the kid, but doesn't want to abort either >kid is born, beautiful boy >she abandons him at parents home to pursue her dead end *****acting career" >parents, and i basically take care of him >love him like my own son, he calls me papa >son grows up fine, i get warehouse job to have more money to make him happier >start jogging in the morning to have enough stamina to play with him >son is great at academics, gets As >start getting along better with my own parents since we're taking care of my son together >work harder and get promoted, more money to buy son toys >experience first hand what raising a child is like, love him >now am 36 yrs old kv with a managerial job at a shipping company >son has gone to univ this year >parents and i are very lonely with nothing to do all day >wait for son's call in the back of our heads all the time >sister is still struggling with her Imao) >son is coming home for christmas >can't decide what to do to celebrate his first year at college >almost know for certain that if son hadn't been born, i would've probably jumped off a building to end my pathetic life Any other parents here? acting career (son calls her auntie
- File: 3fb85ce1580af24d83f6bde17301e0fe85e(...).png (204 KB, 1063x1063) Parents of /r9k/ Anonymous 10/18/18(Thu)11:30:47 No.48770954 [Reply] >>48771097 >>48771290 >>48771357 >>48772582 >>48772649 >be 19 yr old kv suicidal depressed neet >live with parents >unmarried sister gets preggers because of her bf and doesn't want the kid, but doesn't want to abort either >kid is born, beautiful boy >she abandons him at parents home to pursue her dead end *****acting career" >parents, and i basically take care of him >love him like my own son, he calls me papa >son grows up fine, i get warehouse job to have more money to make him happier >start jogging in the morning to have enough stamina to play with him >son is great at academics, gets As >start getting along better with my own parents since we're taking care of my son together >work harder and get promoted, more money to buy son toys >experience first hand what raising a child is like, love him >now am 36 yrs old kv with a managerial job at a shipping company >son has gone to univ this year >parents and i are very lonely with nothing to do all day >wait for son's call in the back of our heads all the time >sister is still struggling with her Imao) >son is coming home for christmas >can't decide what to do to celebrate his first year at college >almost know for certain that if son hadn't been born, i would've probably jumped off a building to end my pathetic life Any other parents here? acting career (son calls her auntie

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Anon needs a place to do the deed | /r/Greentext

3h (10/24 10:32) · 27564197 . 19 Re 6 Img PNG 98KB (800 x 600) 6 Replies WV 9 Where to have sex I live with my parents, she lives with her parents. What's the best option? >car >hostel >airbnb >her house Help bros. 2h (10/24 10:39) 27564235 1 Reply >>27564197 (OP) when no one is in home, fool
3h (10/24 10:32) · 27564197 . 19 Re 6 Img PNG 98KB (800 x 600) 6 Replies WV 9 Where to have sex I live with my parents, she lives with her parents. What's the best option? >car >hostel >airbnb >her house Help bros. 2h (10/24 10:39) 27564235 1 Reply >>27564197 (OP) when no one is in home, fool

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Anon's job is just too convenient | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 274 KB JPG 10/07/22 (Fri)11:05:21 No.89050016 >work remote >get paid 100k/yr >play video games most of my shift This cant be sustainable
Anonymous 274 KB JPG 10/07/22 (Fri)11:05:21 No.89050016 >work remote >get paid 100k/yr >play video games most of my shift This cant be sustainable

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Anon works at McDonalds | /r/Greentext

Anonymous animatic McDonald's employees when telling the 714th Rick and Morty fan that they can't have their McNasty meme sauce to dip their mcnugs in Source: animatic 9,034 notes 10/09/17(Mon)18:52:14 No.747624916 53 KB JPG >be me >work at McDonalds >overworked >underpaid >big day today >not sure what's happening but the manager says we have a new sauce. >No big deal, we do specials all the time >manager looks worried >imchillman.jpeg >look up at menu, see some cartoon on there, must be something for the kids >It's 6:58am, we open at 7:00am >there is a queue outside >MFW it's not children >A horde of sweaty mid 20 year olds stand outside waiting to get in, laughing manically. >all wearing clothing of the cartoon. >ohfuck.exe >the doors burst open and I'm greeted by the first customer. >he weighs over 300lbs and is wearing a fedora, with a neck beard only fit for a kissless virgin. >"hyngeh I'll have schum cheeken mcnuggz an heh- heh- scheziuan zauuce!!" >the ogre looks back to the crowd >"WUBALUBADUB-DUB!" >The entire crowd of chubby shrek rejects respond >"WUBALUBADUB-DUB!"
Anonymous animatic McDonald's employees when telling the 714th Rick and Morty fan that they can't have their McNasty meme sauce to dip their mcnugs in Source: animatic 9,034 notes 10/09/17(Mon)18:52:14 No.747624916 53 KB JPG >be me >work at McDonalds >overworked >underpaid >big day today >not sure what's happening but the manager says we have a new sauce. >No big deal, we do specials all the time >manager looks worried >imchillman.jpeg >look up at menu, see some cartoon on there, must be something for the kids >It's 6:58am, we open at 7:00am >there is a queue outside >MFW it's not children >A horde of sweaty mid 20 year olds stand outside waiting to get in, laughing manically. >all wearing clothing of the cartoon. >ohfuck.exe >the doors burst open and I'm greeted by the first customer. >he weighs over 300lbs and is wearing a fedora, with a neck beard only fit for a kissless virgin. >"hyngeh I'll have schum cheeken mcnuggz an heh- heh- scheziuan zauuce!!" >the ogre looks back to the crowd >"WUBALUBADUB-DUB!" >The entire crowd of chubby shrek rejects respond >"WUBALUBADUB-DUB!"

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