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Anon sleeps on couch | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 33 KB JPG 01/11/18(Thu)11:31:51 No.42419292 >>42419060 (OP) # >be me >have female friend >she wants to come to my place >chill, watch some movies, eat pizza, talk >It's getting late, she wants to stay overnight >k whatevs >prepare the couch for her >we go to sleep >10 mins later she crawls into my bed >she slightly puts her head angainst my shoulder >feel uncomfortable, think she wants to have the bed >I get up and sleep on the couch yeah, we never talked to each other again
Anonymous 33 KB JPG 01/11/18(Thu)11:31:51 No.42419292 >>42419060 (OP) # >be me >have female friend >she wants to come to my place >chill, watch some movies, eat pizza, talk >It's getting late, she wants to stay overnight >k whatevs >prepare the couch for her >we go to sleep >10 mins later she crawls into my bed >she slightly puts her head angainst my shoulder >feel uncomfortable, think she wants to have the bed >I get up and sleep on the couch yeah, we never talked to each other again

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Anon is weird | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 164 KB PNG 09/22/23(Fri)19:48:30 No.40342171 >"Gosh Anon, I'd never r--- you!" >"To be honest, I don't think anypony could r--- you, no matter how hard they tried." >"You're so much bigger and stronger than us, you could just have your way with any mare you want." >"All she could do is lie down and take it as you thrust in and out of her warm, wet pony p----." >"Her moans would be drowned out by the loud, ferocious grunts you'd make as you assault her tiny womb with your virile human seed." >"And she'd be so embarrassed, she wouldn't tell the guards a thing. Because deep down she secretly enjoyed it, and wants you to do it again." >"But you'd never do that, would you? No, you're a nice guy." >"Oh, and I'll be leaving my door unlocked tonight. Just thought I'd let you know."
Anonymous 164 KB PNG 09/22/23(Fri)19:48:30 No.40342171 >"Gosh Anon, I'd never r--- you!" >"To be honest, I don't think anypony could r--- you, no matter how hard they tried." >"You're so much bigger and stronger than us, you could just have your way with any mare you want." >"All she could do is lie down and take it as you thrust in and out of her warm, wet pony p----." >"Her moans would be drowned out by the loud, ferocious grunts you'd make as you assault her tiny womb with your virile human seed." >"And she'd be so embarrassed, she wouldn't tell the guards a thing. Because deep down she secretly enjoyed it, and wants you to do it again." >"But you'd never do that, would you? No, you're a nice guy." >"Oh, and I'll be leaving my door unlocked tonight. Just thought I'd let you know."

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Anon hates 2 factor authentication | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/14/24(Wed)16:18:42 No. 101894266 >>1018 >please enter your password to login >also 6 digit code sent to email >btw also a code sent to your phone >finally enter your pin because f--- you Okay, who should I be directing my rage at? Whose fault is this? BC 00 40 M
Anonymous 08/14/24(Wed)16:18:42 No. 101894266 >>1018 >please enter your password to login >also 6 digit code sent to email >btw also a code sent to your phone >finally enter your pin because f--- you Okay, who should I be directing my rage at? Whose fault is this? BC 00 40 M

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Anon owns nothing and he's happy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/05/24(Mon)22:18:04 No. 101743141 10:53 110 B 221 180% Memory/CPU r/selfhosted 379k members 315 Self-Hosters Join A place to share, discuss, discover, assist with, gain assistance for, and critique self-hosted alternatives to our favorite web app... See more #8 in Tech News & Discussion от justuseplexbro.jpg 950 KB JPG >spends $1000 on a NAS >spends $3000 on hard drives >spends $2000 on blu-ray discs or $5 a month on VPNs >spends $500 a year on maintenance because hard drives fail all the time >spends $300 a year on electricity >spends more time watching YouTube tutorials than watching movies CAN'T YOU SEE? THIS IS WAY BETTER THAN PAYING $30 A MONTH FOR NETFLIX
: Anonymous 08/05/24(Mon)22:18:04 No. 101743141 10:53 110 B 221 180% Memory/CPU r/selfhosted 379k members 315 Self-Hosters Join A place to share, discuss, discover, assist with, gain assistance for, and critique self-hosted alternatives to our favorite web app... See more #8 in Tech News & Discussion от justuseplexbro.jpg 950 KB JPG >spends $1000 on a NAS >spends $3000 on hard drives >spends $2000 on blu-ray discs or $5 a month on VPNs >spends $500 a year on maintenance because hard drives fail all the time >spends $300 a year on electricity >spends more time watching YouTube tutorials than watching movies CAN'T YOU SEE? THIS IS WAY BETTER THAN PAYING $30 A MONTH FOR NETFLIX

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Anon on life. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous R: 15/1:2 DUDE JUST WAGESLAVE FOR 50 YEARS LMAO 31 KB PNG Anonymous 08/12/24(Mon)04:32:33 No.78467174 >be born without consent >forced to go to school, practically forced to work >suicide is considered immoral and causes suffering, gets you locked up if you fail How is this fair? 08/12/24(Mon)06:41:18 No.78467832 >>78467174 (OP). >How is this fair? Nobody ever said it was.
Anonymous R: 15/1:2 DUDE JUST WAGESLAVE FOR 50 YEARS LMAO 31 KB PNG Anonymous 08/12/24(Mon)04:32:33 No.78467174 >be born without consent >forced to go to school, practically forced to work >suicide is considered immoral and causes suffering, gets you locked up if you fail How is this fair? 08/12/24(Mon)06:41:18 No.78467832 >>78467174 (OP). >How is this fair? Nobody ever said it was.

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Dead humor | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/09/24(Fri)05:47:30 No.202291257 1_OubYRV_WNR9iYrzUAVINHw.jpg 244 KB JPG >Tells vulgar joke or commits a vulgar action >Makes normalfags die of laughter What level of degeneracy do you have to be to enjoy this character?
: Anonymous 08/09/24(Fri)05:47:30 No.202291257 1_OubYRV_WNR9iYrzUAVINHw.jpg 244 KB JPG >Tells vulgar joke or commits a vulgar action >Makes normalfags die of laughter What level of degeneracy do you have to be to enjoy this character?

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anon has a sister | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/14/24(Wed)20:32:07 No. 11700886 >be me >have 10 year old sister >need to do the dishes >"hey sis, can you do the dishes for me pretty please?" >"no" >"what if I pay you 1 dollar?" >"no" >"what if I pay you..5 dollars?" >"no" >"what if I pay you...20 dollars?" >"no" >"what if I pay you...1 million dollars?" >"no" >"WHY?!" >no reply for 30 seconds >"because it's your job, not mine" and I am the only one diagnosed with a mental disability in this family
Anonymous 08/14/24(Wed)20:32:07 No. 11700886 >be me >have 10 year old sister >need to do the dishes >"hey sis, can you do the dishes for me pretty please?" >"no" >"what if I pay you 1 dollar?" >"no" >"what if I pay you..5 dollars?" >"no" >"what if I pay you...20 dollars?" >"no" >"what if I pay you...1 million dollars?" >"no" >"WHY?!" >no reply for 30 seconds >"because it's your job, not mine" and I am the only one diagnosed with a mental disability in this family

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Anon makes a discovery | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/01/19(Wed)20:09:35 No.52208580 IT ENDS NOW >be me 84 KB GIF your bag" >open his bag >working at movie theater >"hum hello, i'd like 5 tickets for end game" >5 fat neckbeards looking at me >they're like super excited >"thank you mam" >"excuse me, i've got to check >5 empty bottles of water >"recycling you know..." >"ok have a good day" >3 hours later movie's done >"anon go check if the room is empty" > room is empty >pop corn everywhere as usual >money and keys on the floor as usual >5 bottles full of piss as usual >5 BOTTLES FULL OF PISS recycle my left nut f------ neckbeards
Anonymous 05/01/19(Wed)20:09:35 No.52208580 IT ENDS NOW >be me 84 KB GIF your bag" >open his bag >working at movie theater >"hum hello, i'd like 5 tickets for end game" >5 fat neckbeards looking at me >they're like super excited >"thank you mam" >"excuse me, i've got to check >5 empty bottles of water >"recycling you know..." >"ok have a good day" >3 hours later movie's done >"anon go check if the room is empty" > room is empty >pop corn everywhere as usual >money and keys on the floor as usual >5 bottles full of piss as usual >5 BOTTLES FULL OF PISS recycle my left nut f------ neckbeards

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Anon is a little pent-up | /r/Greentext

☐ Anonymous 08/08/24(Thu)05:01:26 No.62232552 ►>>62233253 >>62231750 >Listen here you little s---------, I haven't had a piece of ass in six goddamn months. You hand over that goat or i'll radio that we're taking fire and they'll drop so much goddamn ordnance on your s----- little mudhuts that the guys on the next rotation will think this is where Kubrick faked the f------ moon landing"
☐ Anonymous 08/08/24(Thu)05:01:26 No.62232552 ►>>62233253 >>62231750 >Listen here you little s---------, I haven't had a piece of ass in six goddamn months. You hand over that goat or i'll radio that we're taking fire and they'll drop so much goddamn ordnance on your s----- little mudhuts that the guys on the next rotation will think this is where Kubrick faked the f------ moon landing"

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Ride of the Valkyries | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/19/24(Fri)18:31:56 No.62105585 polishflag.jpg 63 KB JPG >half the military budget >has better army equipment than britain and an army twice the size How did they do it?
Anonymous 07/19/24(Fri)18:31:56 No.62105585 polishflag.jpg 63 KB JPG >half the military budget >has better army equipment than britain and an army twice the size How did they do it?

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Anon got adopted | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Strange Encounter 124 KB JPG 12/31/23(Sun)10:12:24 No.911612670 >be me >23 >on tinder >match with 45 year old woman >go to her place to f--- >she insists I call her mommy while f------ >calls me son >she unironically made me a packed lunch before I left What just happened
Anonymous Strange Encounter 124 KB JPG 12/31/23(Sun)10:12:24 No.911612670 >be me >23 >on tinder >match with 45 year old woman >go to her place to f--- >she insists I call her mommy while f------ >calls me son >she unironically made me a packed lunch before I left What just happened

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Escape from Commie Block | /r/Greentext

File: imkms.png (415 KB, 564x319) ☐ How do I escape? Anonymous (ID: 10hwvDK2) 08/13/24(Tue)00:01:08 No.4 >Be born in commie block, dream of living in the countryside >Finally move out to the country >Turns out the only job I can get is fixing up apartments in commie blocks in the city >End up spending all days in the s--- I tried to escape How do I end this vicious circle?
File: imkms.png (415 KB, 564x319) ☐ How do I escape? Anonymous (ID: 10hwvDK2) 08/13/24(Tue)00:01:08 No.4 >Be born in commie block, dream of living in the countryside >Finally move out to the country >Turns out the only job I can get is fixing up apartments in commie blocks in the city >End up spending all days in the s--- I tried to escape How do I end this vicious circle?

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Fun in your head | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/26/22(Sat) 19:16:05 No.67947955 reason at all >Be extremely depressed >Make up delusions of grandeur and superiority >Start unironically believing said delusions >Stop being depressed and feel like a literal god for no It's this easy, you can change so much in a moment, reality is merely an illusion you can bend to your will and so is your personality. 8 Replies / 1 Image Anonymous View Thread 03/26/22(Sat) 19:24:26 No.67948051 >>67947955 (OP) # you're legitimately describing manic depression Imfao
Anonymous 03/26/22(Sat) 19:16:05 No.67947955 reason at all >Be extremely depressed >Make up delusions of grandeur and superiority >Start unironically believing said delusions >Stop being depressed and feel like a literal god for no It's this easy, you can change so much in a moment, reality is merely an illusion you can bend to your will and so is your personality. 8 Replies / 1 Image Anonymous View Thread 03/26/22(Sat) 19:24:26 No.67948051 >>67947955 (OP) # you're legitimately describing manic depression Imfao

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Anon C4's the Scout. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 8/14/2024, 2:28:41 AM No.83119238 61 KB JPEG > Purposefully blow up scout with C4 > Revive scout afterwards > Scout rock and stones > Blow up scout with C4 again What is this strategy called?
Anonymous 8/14/2024, 2:28:41 AM No.83119238 61 KB JPEG > Purposefully blow up scout with C4 > Revive scout afterwards > Scout rock and stones > Blow up scout with C4 again What is this strategy called?

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Anon is insecure. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 29 KB PNG Anonymous 08/13/24(Tue)21:31:46 No.78484598 >Gay dude flirts with me >Don't play into it >Directly asks me out >Tell him I'm not homosexual >"You won't know until you try" How do I respond without sounding insecure? 08/13/24(Tue)22:50:36 No.78485219 >>78484598 (OP) >how many women have you f-----?
Anonymous 29 KB PNG Anonymous 08/13/24(Tue)21:31:46 No.78484598 >Gay dude flirts with me >Don't play into it >Directly asks me out >Tell him I'm not homosexual >"You won't know until you try" How do I respond without sounding insecure? 08/13/24(Tue)22:50:36 No.78485219 >>78484598 (OP) >how many women have you f-----?

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Anon lives in the big apple | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 6 KB JPG >BADDA BING >be me >20 05/08/16(Sun)23:04:54 No.683368161 >walking around Brooklyn >new to the city >feel and opportunity come up >yell at the top of my lungs > some fat guy in a greasy tank top yells from his apartment window >BADDA BOOM >mfw
Anonymous 6 KB JPG >BADDA BING >be me >20 05/08/16(Sun)23:04:54 No.683368161 >walking around Brooklyn >new to the city >feel and opportunity come up >yell at the top of my lungs > some fat guy in a greasy tank top yells from his apartment window >BADDA BOOM >mfw

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Cultural Exporter | /r/Greentext

Board /bant/ - International/Random Anonymous (ID: B5YNvZoo) = ▼ Settings Mobile Home 08/13/24(Tue)17:37:17 No.20981061 British people be like: 373 KB PNG >"Lol Americans are soooo f------ fat" >*Deep-fries a hot dog*
Board /bant/ - International/Random Anonymous (ID: B5YNvZoo) = ▼ Settings Mobile Home 08/13/24(Tue)17:37:17 No.20981061 British people be like: 373 KB PNG >"Lol Americans are soooo f------ fat" >*Deep-fries a hot dog*

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Anon commits the perfect crime | /r/Greentext

☐ Anonymous 08/13/24(Tue)22:08:26 No.78482101 > Walking through town > Wearing my mirrored sunglasses > Zoomer pick-me girl walking towards me > Keep my head turned straight ahead > She thinks I don't know she knows I'm looking at her > But I'm not looking at her > I'm checking out her twink-looking BF, wondering how his d--- tastes
☐ Anonymous 08/13/24(Tue)22:08:26 No.78482101 > Walking through town > Wearing my mirrored sunglasses > Zoomer pick-me girl walking towards me > Keep my head turned straight ahead > She thinks I don't know she knows I'm looking at her > But I'm not looking at her > I'm checking out her twink-looking BF, wondering how his d--- tastes

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An Endless Cycle | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous ▼ Settings Mobile Home 08/13/24(Tue)16:50:40 No.78481928 You Tube 39 KB PNG >Really like a YT video >Want to save it to make a YTP >Copy the URL >Type in "YouTube to MP4" >Click on the first result >"This website wants to know your location" >Click Deny >Click where you're supposed to paste in the link >P--- popup >Click deny >Close popup >Paste in link >Click Convert >P--- popup >Close popup >"Converting" >... >... >... >Go back to google >Click on the second result >Rinse and repeat I know one of them will work. MP4
Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous ▼ Settings Mobile Home 08/13/24(Tue)16:50:40 No.78481928 You Tube 39 KB PNG >Really like a YT video >Want to save it to make a YTP >Copy the URL >Type in "YouTube to MP4" >Click on the first result >"This website wants to know your location" >Click Deny >Click where you're supposed to paste in the link >P--- popup >Click deny >Close popup >Paste in link >Click Convert >P--- popup >Close popup >"Converting" >... >... >... >Go back to google >Click on the second result >Rinse and repeat I know one of them will work. MP4

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Anon can't talk to women | /r/Greentext

File: missing.png (132 KB, 1080x1080) >Realize what just happened Anonymous 08/13/24(Tue)13:01:20 No.78480463 >Be me >Be at Uni >Be walking from math class to parking lot >Look like average alt guy >8/10 Short blue hair alt girl walks up to me >Looks like a prettier version of my ex >"I like your Black Sabbath T-shirt." >"Uh-hh t-thanks." >She smiles obviously still wanting to talk to me >Walk beside her for a minute silent >She asks "Hey where are you walking to?" >Literally did a 90 degree turn when she said something >Walk away scared of her because ex flashbacks >Get in car >Drive home >Lay in bed with TOOL playing Why am I like this
File: missing.png (132 KB, 1080x1080) >Realize what just happened Anonymous 08/13/24(Tue)13:01:20 No.78480463 >Be me >Be at Uni >Be walking from math class to parking lot >Look like average alt guy >8/10 Short blue hair alt girl walks up to me >Looks like a prettier version of my ex >"I like your Black Sabbath T-shirt." >"Uh-hh t-thanks." >She smiles obviously still wanting to talk to me >Walk beside her for a minute silent >She asks "Hey where are you walking to?" >Literally did a 90 degree turn when she said something >Walk away scared of her because ex flashbacks >Get in car >Drive home >Lay in bed with TOOL playing Why am I like this

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