Greentext Stories - Images
Anon misses out on GME stonks. | /r/Greentext
![| Anonymous (ID: 2rghcRhd 11/04/20(Wed)15:28:02 No.287412051 >world's destiny is in the hands of drug addicts, alcoholics, gamblers, hookers and degenerates 287 KB PNG : Anonymous (ID: WUAOU589 11/04/20(Wed)15:28:32 No.287412288 >>287412051 (OP) # As it should be >>287412763 # >>287414072 # >>287415106 # >>287415188 # >>287416935 # >>287418225 # >>287421065 # >>287421239 # >>287422731 # >>287423448 #](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/007/454/d93.jpg)
![| Anonymous (ID: 2rghcRhd 11/04/20(Wed)15:28:02 No.287412051 >world's destiny is in the hands of drug addicts, alcoholics, gamblers, hookers and degenerates 287 KB PNG : Anonymous (ID: WUAOU589 11/04/20(Wed)15:28:32 No.287412288 >>287412051 (OP) # As it should be >>287412763 # >>287414072 # >>287415106 # >>287415188 # >>287416935 # >>287418225 # >>287421065 # >>287421239 # >>287422731 # >>287423448 #](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/007/454/d93.jpg)
Greentext Stories
American public healthcare | /r/Greentext
![>>1993659 # Dude. Imagine if one day you woke up, and all they were talking about on the news was how Mexicans are all arguing about whether airplanes are possible. And you're like "Da f--?" And the next day they are still arguing about whether airplanes are possible, and it's become a major election issue. And you're like "Wut. Don't these assholes know that everybody already has airplanes??" And then a couple of years later they're still arguing about it. And one side is saying "AIRPLANES ARE IMPOSSIBLE, THEY WOULD KILL EVERYONE ON BOARD!" and the other side is like "NO, AIRPLANES ARE TOTALLY POSSIBLE, WE CAN DO IT IF WE SET OUR MINDS TO IT!" and the moderates are all like "WELL MAYBE AIRPLANES ARE POSSIBLE, BUT NOBODY WILL EVER BE ABLE TO AFFORD THEM, BUT WE CAN DEFINITELY AIM FOR GLIDERS AND MAYBE THAT WILL WORK!" And you're like "Should...should somebody tell these morons about airplanes being widely available absolutely everywhere? Is this a great big misunderstanding, or are these assholes honestly spending a whole generation arguing about whether something is possible while everyone else has grown up doing it?" And this goes on for 30 more f------ years. And one Mexican passes a law that says everyone has to participate in hang gliding, and half of the other Mexicans are constantly trying to get rid of that law because hang gliding is just one step away from putting everyone into an airplane and killing them all. Imagine how f------ perplexed you would be. This is exactly what it feels like for everyone else when Americans start talking about public healthcare.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/007/416/7a7.jpg)
![>>1993659 # Dude. Imagine if one day you woke up, and all they were talking about on the news was how Mexicans are all arguing about whether airplanes are possible. And you're like "Da f--?" And the next day they are still arguing about whether airplanes are possible, and it's become a major election issue. And you're like "Wut. Don't these assholes know that everybody already has airplanes??" And then a couple of years later they're still arguing about it. And one side is saying "AIRPLANES ARE IMPOSSIBLE, THEY WOULD KILL EVERYONE ON BOARD!" and the other side is like "NO, AIRPLANES ARE TOTALLY POSSIBLE, WE CAN DO IT IF WE SET OUR MINDS TO IT!" and the moderates are all like "WELL MAYBE AIRPLANES ARE POSSIBLE, BUT NOBODY WILL EVER BE ABLE TO AFFORD THEM, BUT WE CAN DEFINITELY AIM FOR GLIDERS AND MAYBE THAT WILL WORK!" And you're like "Should...should somebody tell these morons about airplanes being widely available absolutely everywhere? Is this a great big misunderstanding, or are these assholes honestly spending a whole generation arguing about whether something is possible while everyone else has grown up doing it?" And this goes on for 30 more f------ years. And one Mexican passes a law that says everyone has to participate in hang gliding, and half of the other Mexicans are constantly trying to get rid of that law because hang gliding is just one step away from putting everyone into an airplane and killing them all. Imagine how f------ perplexed you would be. This is exactly what it feels like for everyone else when Americans start talking about public healthcare.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/007/416/7a7.jpg)
Greentext Stories
Let it go, let it go | /r/Greentext
![: Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)21:05:35 No.62105627 >grow up with cold distant parents >never learn to show affection >have girls be nice to me and try to flirt >ignore them or be rude to them >get girlfriend >go to her house 45 KB JPG >her parents hug and talk >her siblings are social and kind to me >a whole different world >something I never had growing up](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/007/333/6b3.jpg)
![: Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)21:05:35 No.62105627 >grow up with cold distant parents >never learn to show affection >have girls be nice to me and try to flirt >ignore them or be rude to them >get girlfriend >go to her house 45 KB JPG >her parents hug and talk >her siblings are social and kind to me >a whole different world >something I never had growing up](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/007/333/6b3.jpg)
Greentext Stories
Anon is a good kid | /r/Greentext
![: Anonymous I had the best dad 12/15/18(Sat)19:08:31 No.49862882 > Be me > Years ago. Still in womb. > Hear dad whispering nice poems. > Gonnabeagoodlife.mp3 > Hear dad leave for work. > Hear mom invite over 'Tyrone' > Black hose starts knocking 285 KB JPG against my head. > Hear dad come back and cry. > Hear mom beg for forgiveness. > Says he's staying for me. > mfw I realize this wonderful man is going to get stuck with this thot because of me. > Cant let that happen. > Decide to poison her toth bloodstream > Gonnatakeyoudownwithme.divx > Hear dad in hospital say goodbye to me and mom. > Hear moms heart beat stop before mine does. Goodbye dad. You deserve a better life.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/007/313/212.jpg)
![: Anonymous I had the best dad 12/15/18(Sat)19:08:31 No.49862882 > Be me > Years ago. Still in womb. > Hear dad whispering nice poems. > Gonnabeagoodlife.mp3 > Hear dad leave for work. > Hear mom invite over 'Tyrone' > Black hose starts knocking 285 KB JPG against my head. > Hear dad come back and cry. > Hear mom beg for forgiveness. > Says he's staying for me. > mfw I realize this wonderful man is going to get stuck with this thot because of me. > Cant let that happen. > Decide to poison her toth bloodstream > Gonnatakeyoudownwithme.divx > Hear dad in hospital say goodbye to me and mom. > Hear moms heart beat stop before mine does. Goodbye dad. You deserve a better life.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/007/313/212.jpg)
Greentext Stories
Anon goes to the restroom. | /r/Greentext
![: Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)14:05:37 No.846144088 >take s--- in school bathroom during lunch >kids come into the bathroom talking about naruto saying the n word >one of them noticed you taking a s--- >they all go quiet >a good 5 seconds of silence passes by 4 KB JPG before the first wet paper towel gracefully flies over the stall wall >be victim to a barrage of wet paper towels for a good 10 seconds >once the barrage stops they start banging on the stall doors and making noises >"look at this f----- retard taking a s---" >you can only sit in silence as they laugh >they all frantically scatter out of the bathroom while chuckling >you hear slow footsteps coming back >the lights flicker off as the last man scurries away laughing uncontrollably >engulfed in darkness](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/007/294/32d.jpg)
![: Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)14:05:37 No.846144088 >take s--- in school bathroom during lunch >kids come into the bathroom talking about naruto saying the n word >one of them noticed you taking a s--- >they all go quiet >a good 5 seconds of silence passes by 4 KB JPG before the first wet paper towel gracefully flies over the stall wall >be victim to a barrage of wet paper towels for a good 10 seconds >once the barrage stops they start banging on the stall doors and making noises >"look at this f----- retard taking a s---" >you can only sit in silence as they laugh >they all frantically scatter out of the bathroom while chuckling >you hear slow footsteps coming back >the lights flicker off as the last man scurries away laughing uncontrollably >engulfed in darkness](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/007/294/32d.jpg)
Greentext Stories
Anon sees an animal | /r/Greentext
![: Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)05:51:10 No.138631166 20210129 224615.jpg 1.05 MB JPG >go hiking at the park >see this](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/007/262/cb1.png)
![: Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)05:51:10 No.138631166 20210129 224615.jpg 1.05 MB JPG >go hiking at the park >see this](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/007/262/cb1.png)
Greentext Stories
Suspect still at large, name unknown | /r/Greentext
![File: template-when-the-imposte(...).png (383 KB, 640x640) U Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)10:25:39 No.62097660 [Reply] >>62098405 >>62099323 >be me talking with a girl >she opens up about her relationship with her father >she tells me she saw him some days ago basically sexting some other woman (her parents are still married) >asks me what do i think she should do >my braindead ass thinks i should make her laugh so she feels better >think among us is basically normie level mainstream now >literally text her "your father is actin kinda sus" and i send her this picture >she isnt responding to my messages now >its been 4 days why am i like this 8 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view. O Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)11:38:22 No.62098405 File: streamer.png (117 KB, 247x207) >>62097660 (OP) >when daddy diddles the woman O Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)12:47:40 No.62099149 File: when.jpg (863 KB, 750x871) The problem is that you did'nt use the metalbro version. Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)12:58:45 No.62099245 File: 1611932076875.jpg (16 KB, 480x360) when dad is sus](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/007/206/4d0.jpg)
![File: template-when-the-imposte(...).png (383 KB, 640x640) U Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)10:25:39 No.62097660 [Reply] >>62098405 >>62099323 >be me talking with a girl >she opens up about her relationship with her father >she tells me she saw him some days ago basically sexting some other woman (her parents are still married) >asks me what do i think she should do >my braindead ass thinks i should make her laugh so she feels better >think among us is basically normie level mainstream now >literally text her "your father is actin kinda sus" and i send her this picture >she isnt responding to my messages now >its been 4 days why am i like this 8 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view. O Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)11:38:22 No.62098405 File: streamer.png (117 KB, 247x207) >>62097660 (OP) >when daddy diddles the woman O Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)12:47:40 No.62099149 File: when.jpg (863 KB, 750x871) The problem is that you did'nt use the metalbro version. Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)12:58:45 No.62099245 File: 1611932076875.jpg (16 KB, 480x360) when dad is sus](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/007/206/4d0.jpg)
Greentext Stories
Nothing burger | /r/Greentext
![File: e66.png (378 KB, 640x1142) O Times you got misgendered Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)10:21:24 No.62097614 [Reply] >>62097992 OVE ME >>62099083 Post times you got misgendered: >at a party once >have long hair, skinny, short with baby face >hanging out with a female friend and another male friend who is smoking >a neighbor comes and offers a trade >he would like some smokes and he will give us a burger or two he was cooking in his apartment >friend says ok and trades >"any burgers for the pretty ladies?" >female friend starts laughing NOW. HUH? >"he's a boy dude" >burger guy gets flustered, stammers out a sorry and I laugh and tell him all good >say I want a burger too btw >get burger in the end](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/007/179/a9a.jpg)
![File: e66.png (378 KB, 640x1142) O Times you got misgendered Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)10:21:24 No.62097614 [Reply] >>62097992 OVE ME >>62099083 Post times you got misgendered: >at a party once >have long hair, skinny, short with baby face >hanging out with a female friend and another male friend who is smoking >a neighbor comes and offers a trade >he would like some smokes and he will give us a burger or two he was cooking in his apartment >friend says ok and trades >"any burgers for the pretty ladies?" >female friend starts laughing NOW. HUH? >"he's a boy dude" >burger guy gets flustered, stammers out a sorry and I laugh and tell him all good >say I want a burger too btw >get burger in the end](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/007/179/a9a.jpg)
Greentext Stories
anon gets fired | /r/Greentext
![: Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)12:43:42 No.846132394 >job won't give me raise >decide to strike back >c-- in gravy >get fired from elementary school chef position 52 KB PNG](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/007/052/f34.jpg)
![: Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)12:43:42 No.846132394 >job won't give me raise >decide to strike back >c-- in gravy >get fired from elementary school chef position 52 KB PNG](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/007/052/f34.jpg)
Greentext Stories
Anon is European | /r/Greentext
![: Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)10:35:39 No.846125348 >be European, go outside >see euro peein in the streets >day ruined 15 KB JPG](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/007/051/a43.jpg)
![: Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)10:35:39 No.846125348 >be European, go outside >see euro peein in the streets >day ruined 15 KB JPG](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/007/051/a43.jpg)
Greentext Stories
that's actually kinda genius | /r/Greentext
![File: 1338635025178.jpg-(22 KB, 253x256, 1330291018611.jpg) O Anonymous (ID: JR83QLK5) 06/02/12(Sat)07:03:45 No.403635107 1) piss on a plate 2) put it in the freezer 3) wait till late at night when its frozen 4) take the piss disc off the plate 5) slide it under someone's door 6) they'll wake up to a mysterious puddle of piss on their floor 5 posts omitted. Click Reply to view. 16](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/007/050/931.jpg)
![File: 1338635025178.jpg-(22 KB, 253x256, 1330291018611.jpg) O Anonymous (ID: JR83QLK5) 06/02/12(Sat)07:03:45 No.403635107 1) piss on a plate 2) put it in the freezer 3) wait till late at night when its frozen 4) take the piss disc off the plate 5) slide it under someone's door 6) they'll wake up to a mysterious puddle of piss on their floor 5 posts omitted. Click Reply to view. 16](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/007/050/931.jpg)
Greentext Stories
Anon fabricates a phone transcript | /r/Greentext
![: Anonymous 01/31/21(Sun)02:20:18 No.846124519 >be me yesterday >talking on the phone to a girl who I was good friends with for a while and recently started dating >both of us are tired and horny >she suddenly stops and her voice gets quieter 40 KB JPG >"...can I ask you a question?" >"Anything." >there's a brief silence >"...do you love me?" >she almost immediately backtracks >"Wait, nevermind, that's a silly question-" >"I do, saying 'I love you' is kinda weird as things are right now, but wouldn't wanna make you feel any other way, you should already know this: I do love you, I love you a lot" >"I love you too" Did I do it right, /b/ros? Do you think she meant it romantically or just like a "we haven't said it to each other in a while and wanna make sure/hear it again" type thing? Does she want me to start saying it more often? I was being truthful all throughout that](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/006/999/860.jpg)
![: Anonymous 01/31/21(Sun)02:20:18 No.846124519 >be me yesterday >talking on the phone to a girl who I was good friends with for a while and recently started dating >both of us are tired and horny >she suddenly stops and her voice gets quieter 40 KB JPG >"...can I ask you a question?" >"Anything." >there's a brief silence >"...do you love me?" >she almost immediately backtracks >"Wait, nevermind, that's a silly question-" >"I do, saying 'I love you' is kinda weird as things are right now, but wouldn't wanna make you feel any other way, you should already know this: I do love you, I love you a lot" >"I love you too" Did I do it right, /b/ros? Do you think she meant it romantically or just like a "we haven't said it to each other in a while and wanna make sure/hear it again" type thing? Does she want me to start saying it more often? I was being truthful all throughout that](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/006/999/860.jpg)
Greentext Stories
Anon fucked up | /r/Greentext
![: Anonymous 01/29/21(Fri)23:33:19 No.846072053 >The r--- dwarfs are back >One of them came for me but I got lucky >thought I hadn't seen him but I sidestepped and kicked him in the head when he pounced >was going to just quietly knife him but 58 KB JPG had a better idea >experiment.exe >tie him up, bent over a crate >Let's find out where their allegiances lie >he starts waking up >terror.mp3 >thrashing and cursing like crazy >put a ratchet strap round him for good measure and wait upstairs >others come >sound of dragging cocks, heavy and foul >it seems they like low hanging fruit >the screaming hasn't stopped for days >running out of food >there are hundreds of them >what the hell have I done : Anonymous 01/29/21(Fri)23:36:37 No.846072250 >>846072053 (OP) # f------ r--- dwarfs man : Anonymous 01/29/21(Fri)23:37:28 No.846072309 We'll remember you OP 372 KB PNG](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/006/998/73a.jpg)
![: Anonymous 01/29/21(Fri)23:33:19 No.846072053 >The r--- dwarfs are back >One of them came for me but I got lucky >thought I hadn't seen him but I sidestepped and kicked him in the head when he pounced >was going to just quietly knife him but 58 KB JPG had a better idea >experiment.exe >tie him up, bent over a crate >Let's find out where their allegiances lie >he starts waking up >terror.mp3 >thrashing and cursing like crazy >put a ratchet strap round him for good measure and wait upstairs >others come >sound of dragging cocks, heavy and foul >it seems they like low hanging fruit >the screaming hasn't stopped for days >running out of food >there are hundreds of them >what the hell have I done : Anonymous 01/29/21(Fri)23:36:37 No.846072250 >>846072053 (OP) # f------ r--- dwarfs man : Anonymous 01/29/21(Fri)23:37:28 No.846072309 We'll remember you OP 372 KB PNG](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/006/998/73a.jpg)
Greentext Stories
Anon is a chad | /r/Greentext
![>be me >13 >social outcast with no social skills who everyone makes fun of >at a school party >everyone's dancing, I just awkwardly stand there >a stacy from my class comes up 42 KB JPG to me >asks me to dance with a smug look on her face >autism kicks in >just stand there and stare at her for a solid 5 seconds >then just turn and walk the other way as fast as I can >next day in class >overhear the girl talking with her friends >hear her say that her plan was to embarass me but got embarrassed herself for being rejected by such a lowlife >mfw my autism inadvertently made me look like a chad >take that stacy](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/006/996/087.jpg)
![>be me >13 >social outcast with no social skills who everyone makes fun of >at a school party >everyone's dancing, I just awkwardly stand there >a stacy from my class comes up 42 KB JPG to me >asks me to dance with a smug look on her face >autism kicks in >just stand there and stare at her for a solid 5 seconds >then just turn and walk the other way as fast as I can >next day in class >overhear the girl talking with her friends >hear her say that her plan was to embarass me but got embarrassed herself for being rejected by such a lowlife >mfw my autism inadvertently made me look like a chad >take that stacy](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/006/996/087.jpg)
Greentext Stories
Slip ‘N Slide | /r/Greentext
![File: 769[1].png (955 KB, 871x867) /fit/ cringe Anonymous 01/28/21(Thu)16:29:55 No.59587126 [Reply] >>59587459 >>59587462 >get /fit/ after 4 years of lifting, cutting >finally get with a girl at a party >we're in a bedroom making out (my first kiss + tongue kiss) >she takes my hand and puts it on her crotch >feel bold and go under the waistband >feel my first p---- >feel shocked and stutter >"w-w-woah... your p-p---- is so damp..." >she pauses for a sec but continues making out >go in with my fingers >"t-that's a soakin' pus' right there" >she lightly pushes me away and leaves the room](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/006/972/b02.jpg)
![File: 769[1].png (955 KB, 871x867) /fit/ cringe Anonymous 01/28/21(Thu)16:29:55 No.59587126 [Reply] >>59587459 >>59587462 >get /fit/ after 4 years of lifting, cutting >finally get with a girl at a party >we're in a bedroom making out (my first kiss + tongue kiss) >she takes my hand and puts it on her crotch >feel bold and go under the waistband >feel my first p---- >feel shocked and stutter >"w-w-woah... your p-p---- is so damp..." >she pauses for a sec but continues making out >go in with my fingers >"t-that's a soakin' pus' right there" >she lightly pushes me away and leaves the room](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/006/972/b02.jpg)
Greentext Stories
Anon is 5'5 | /r/Greentext
![File: 62410403.jpg (176 KB, 1000x1620) O Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)14:14:18 No.62096357 [Reply] >>62097009 >>62097074 >>62097360 >dad finds out I'm gay >cool with it, at least to the point he doesn't change how he treats me >f----- two guys the other day >dad is over next morning >they left stuff behind >they arrive unannounced to get it >they try to tease me and get in >dad sees them >they take their stuff and leave >he puts two and two together and realizes I'm a bottom because I'm 5'5 and they were both over six feet tall >says "I'm okay with you being gay but can you at least be the one on top?" + 43 replies and 6 images omitted. Click here to view. O Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)15:29:24 No.62097009 >>62096357 (OP) >I'm a bottom because I'm 5'5 and they were both over six feet tall Oh really? That's not how it works in my house.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/006/971/a86.png)
![File: 62410403.jpg (176 KB, 1000x1620) O Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)14:14:18 No.62096357 [Reply] >>62097009 >>62097074 >>62097360 >dad finds out I'm gay >cool with it, at least to the point he doesn't change how he treats me >f----- two guys the other day >dad is over next morning >they left stuff behind >they arrive unannounced to get it >they try to tease me and get in >dad sees them >they take their stuff and leave >he puts two and two together and realizes I'm a bottom because I'm 5'5 and they were both over six feet tall >says "I'm okay with you being gay but can you at least be the one on top?" + 43 replies and 6 images omitted. Click here to view. O Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)15:29:24 No.62097009 >>62096357 (OP) >I'm a bottom because I'm 5'5 and they were both over six feet tall Oh really? That's not how it works in my house.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/006/971/a86.png)
Greentext Stories