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Anon latches on a new conspiracy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 67AU8z4j Opindia.com @Opindia_com 07/10/22(Sun)23:21:48 No.386147100 Biden administration sold a million barrels of oil from US Strategic Petroleum Reserve to Chinese state- owned firm where Hunter Biden is an investor: Report opindia.com A million barrels of oil from US Strategic Reserve sold to Chinese state-owned f... The Energy Department authorised the sale of 950,000 barrels of the Strategic Petroleum Reserve to Unipec, the trading division of China Petrochemical... 3:20 AM Jul 8, 2022 TweetDeck 543 Retweets 77 Quote Tweets 1,113 Likes 78E8BC66-4808-4ACA-A618-528934403206.jpg 65 KB JPG >be biden >buy billion dollar stake in chinese gas company through son >shut down keystone pipeline >do everything you can to hurt gas companies >sanction Russias gas condemning the world to gas shortages >gas is now extremely expensive >while your people are suffering because of your decisions; >you have made millions >Be now richer Biden >sell US gas reserves meant to help US citizens, paid for by US citizens; >to your Chinese gas company where it will only help Chinese citizens >this make more your company and you, more millions because your company is now one of the few company's left with gas. does it get any more based?
: Anonymous (ID: 67AU8z4j Opindia.com @Opindia_com 07/10/22(Sun)23:21:48 No.386147100 Biden administration sold a million barrels of oil from US Strategic Petroleum Reserve to Chinese state- owned firm where Hunter Biden is an investor: Report opindia.com A million barrels of oil from US Strategic Reserve sold to Chinese state-owned f... The Energy Department authorised the sale of 950,000 barrels of the Strategic Petroleum Reserve to Unipec, the trading division of China Petrochemical... 3:20 AM Jul 8, 2022 TweetDeck 543 Retweets 77 Quote Tweets 1,113 Likes 78E8BC66-4808-4ACA-A618-528934403206.jpg 65 KB JPG >be biden >buy billion dollar stake in chinese gas company through son >shut down keystone pipeline >do everything you can to hurt gas companies >sanction Russias gas condemning the world to gas shortages >gas is now extremely expensive >while your people are suffering because of your decisions; >you have made millions >Be now richer Biden >sell US gas reserves meant to help US citizens, paid for by US citizens; >to your Chinese gas company where it will only help Chinese citizens >this make more your company and you, more millions because your company is now one of the few company's left with gas. does it get any more based?

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Anon has a gay friend | /r/Greentext

File: Ec8Pb0bXoAAJV30.jpg (49 KB, 828x853) 1-1-9 Anonymous 07/11/22(Mon)05:28:15 No.69368715 [Reply] >Be me >Short dude >Weak >Straight >Only one friend I've known for a few years >Closeted f----- >Claims to be straight >In a convo he called me very rapable >We don't joke that way >He continues being faggy around me w-- do I do? Anonymous 07/11/22(Mon)05:31:06 No.69368736 >>69368715 I dont know man but good luck
File: Ec8Pb0bXoAAJV30.jpg (49 KB, 828x853) 1-1-9 Anonymous 07/11/22(Mon)05:28:15 No.69368715 [Reply] >Be me >Short dude >Weak >Straight >Only one friend I've known for a few years >Closeted f----- >Claims to be straight >In a convo he called me very rapable >We don't joke that way >He continues being faggy around me w-- do I do? Anonymous 07/11/22(Mon)05:31:06 No.69368736 >>69368715 I dont know man but good luck

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Anon is professional rug roller | /r/Greentext

18m (7/11 0:07) 881777862 3 Re. 1 Img JPG 30KB (614 x 470) >be me >professional rug roller >been in the business for years >one day, a new client calls me up >"hello, i'd like to have my rug rolled" >i agree to do the job >i show up to the client's house >there's a cat in the middle of the rug >i ask the client if they want the cat rolled up in the rug >"oh, no, that's my cat. i just wanted you to roll up the rug" >i say "okay" and proceed to roll up the rug >i finish the job and hand the client the rolled up rug >as i'm leaving, the client says "where is my cat" >mfw
18m (7/11 0:07) 881777862 3 Re. 1 Img JPG 30KB (614 x 470) >be me >professional rug roller >been in the business for years >one day, a new client calls me up >"hello, i'd like to have my rug rolled" >i agree to do the job >i show up to the client's house >there's a cat in the middle of the rug >i ask the client if they want the cat rolled up in the rug >"oh, no, that's my cat. i just wanted you to roll up the rug" >i say "okay" and proceed to roll up the rug >i finish the job and hand the client the rolled up rug >as i'm leaving, the client says "where is my cat" >mfw

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anon dies inside | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 26 KB PNG 07/11/22(Mon )05:40:05 No.605490210 >be me >bored of all the games i have >f--- it, ima play minecraft >load into a new world >start breaking trees and make a starter house, gotta make some torches tho >make pickaxe, find coal, make some torches >go back to house, hear the sound of a creeper right when i open door >creeper blows entire house up and all my s--- >delete game I hope Mojang sees my suicide note you pieces of s---
Anonymous 26 KB PNG 07/11/22(Mon )05:40:05 No.605490210 >be me >bored of all the games i have >f--- it, ima play minecraft >load into a new world >start breaking trees and make a starter house, gotta make some torches tho >make pickaxe, find coal, make some torches >go back to house, hear the sound of a creeper right when i open door >creeper blows entire house up and all my s--- >delete game I hope Mojang sees my suicide note you pieces of s---

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anon gets philosophical | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 91 KB JPG 07/11/22(Mon)00:35:03 No.881819825 >be me >make yo mama jokes >hm i will put them on youtube >get insanely popular >become rich >fade into obscurity >still rich where did he come from? where is he now? we may never know
: Anonymous 91 KB JPG 07/11/22(Mon)00:35:03 No.881819825 >be me >make yo mama jokes >hm i will put them on youtube >get insanely popular >become rich >fade into obscurity >still rich where did he come from? where is he now? we may never know

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It’s just cartoons | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 145 KB PNG 07/11/22(Mon)10:10:51 No.881819122 >be wagie >casually scrolling loli threads at lunch break >coworker walks past and does a double take >"what the f--- is that? are those kids??" >"don't care, it's fictonal" >seething coworker runs to manager and screams to him >manager walks over >"have you been viewing child p--- at work?" >"no just cartoons, look" >show him open loli thread >"well that's certainly strange but i can't do much about it, just dont look at this stuff at work" >indifferently turn back around and continue browsing thread >"why the f--- aren't you firing him? he's a f------ p--------" >completely ignoring seething coworker >ends up calling the police at 2am >two officers walk in to talk to me >"we hear you've got some pretty nasty stuff on your phone, anything we should know about?" >"oh, no it's just cartoons look" >nonchalantly show them loli thread >officers walk out chuckling to themselves while coworker has an aneurysm >>881819228 # >>881819261 #
: Anonymous 145 KB PNG 07/11/22(Mon)10:10:51 No.881819122 >be wagie >casually scrolling loli threads at lunch break >coworker walks past and does a double take >"what the f--- is that? are those kids??" >"don't care, it's fictonal" >seething coworker runs to manager and screams to him >manager walks over >"have you been viewing child p--- at work?" >"no just cartoons, look" >show him open loli thread >"well that's certainly strange but i can't do much about it, just dont look at this stuff at work" >indifferently turn back around and continue browsing thread >"why the f--- aren't you firing him? he's a f------ p--------" >completely ignoring seething coworker >ends up calling the police at 2am >two officers walk in to talk to me >"we hear you've got some pretty nasty stuff on your phone, anything we should know about?" >"oh, no it's just cartoons look" >nonchalantly show them loli thread >officers walk out chuckling to themselves while coworker has an aneurysm >>881819228 # >>881819261 #

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Anon is sad | /r/Greentext

everything is in place >have very sexy mother in law >see her boobs at the beach, very good pair >spend a 4h drive looking at her bare legs and feet as she slept, raging hard on >peer through keyhole as she leaves the shower and get glimpse of her s----------- >j------- furiously the plan is simple >get all the metal crap in the keyhole out of there >perfect view >no one else home 74 KB JPG >prepare the tissue paper, the lube, all is ready >she decides to instead bathe later in the day... I even planned on taking a few pics through the keyhole and share with you all. I am very sad now
everything is in place >have very sexy mother in law >see her boobs at the beach, very good pair >spend a 4h drive looking at her bare legs and feet as she slept, raging hard on >peer through keyhole as she leaves the shower and get glimpse of her s----------- >j------- furiously the plan is simple >get all the metal crap in the keyhole out of there >perfect view >no one else home 74 KB JPG >prepare the tissue paper, the lube, all is ready >she decides to instead bathe later in the day... I even planned on taking a few pics through the keyhole and share with you all. I am very sad now

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Anon finds love | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: X/8XZ5gJ I love my girlfriend New High Scarel 119,725 >be me >15 year old loser >depressed >go over to friends house >one of her other friends is over there >9/10 >laughs at my jokes, we talk for like 4 hours, she asks for my number >2 years later, I wake up every morning and walk to her house, we eat breakfast together then go to school. I love you Bailey Tap to contiene 07/10/22(Sun)22:46:13 No.15697305 146 KB JPG
Anonymous (ID: X/8XZ5gJ I love my girlfriend New High Scarel 119,725 >be me >15 year old loser >depressed >go over to friends house >one of her other friends is over there >9/10 >laughs at my jokes, we talk for like 4 hours, she asks for my number >2 years later, I wake up every morning and walk to her house, we eat breakfast together then go to school. I love you Bailey Tap to contiene 07/10/22(Sun)22:46:13 No.15697305 146 KB JPG

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Anon is on the wrong board | /r/Greentext

Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect : Anonymous (ID: hecye3XL 908 KB PNG : Anonymous (ID: vq/8Us41) >remembering how fun vidya used to be when i was 15 >now all my old favorite titles bore me and i have to be high to enjoy playing anything : Anonymous (ID: Checye3XL 06/26/18(Tue)21:54:19 No.176576592 >>176582478 # >>176583416 # Anonymous (ID: 98NOjljx) 59 KB JPG Settings Home 06/26/18(Tue)21:55:55 No.176576743 I meant to post this on /v/ f------ damnit 06/26/18(Tue)21:56:56 No.176576843 06/26/18(Tue)22:51:19 No.176582478 >>176576843 # Now that you're here, would you like to talk about the jews?
Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect : Anonymous (ID: hecye3XL 908 KB PNG : Anonymous (ID: vq/8Us41) >remembering how fun vidya used to be when i was 15 >now all my old favorite titles bore me and i have to be high to enjoy playing anything : Anonymous (ID: Checye3XL 06/26/18(Tue)21:54:19 No.176576592 >>176582478 # >>176583416 # Anonymous (ID: 98NOjljx) 59 KB JPG Settings Home 06/26/18(Tue)21:55:55 No.176576743 I meant to post this on /v/ f------ damnit 06/26/18(Tue)21:56:56 No.176576843 06/26/18(Tue)22:51:19 No.176582478 >>176576843 # Now that you're here, would you like to talk about the jews?

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Anon works in the food industry | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/10/22(Sun)14:44:43 No.18090249 ✓ 1640763718454.png (325 KB, 500x500) google yandex iqdb wait >>18088805 (OP) Not a health code violation but my old manager used to give me s--- for wearing gloves when taking s--- out of the ovens >Just use your hands, after a while you don't feel it anymore Yeah, I wonder why?
Anonymous 07/10/22(Sun)14:44:43 No.18090249 ✓ 1640763718454.png (325 KB, 500x500) google yandex iqdb wait >>18088805 (OP) Not a health code violation but my old manager used to give me s--- for wearing gloves when taking s--- out of the ovens >Just use your hands, after a while you don't feel it anymore Yeah, I wonder why?

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Anon offers some advice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: oeyqgb4W) 07/10/22(Sun)23:14:44 No.15697778 F9A1C2CF-09A6-408F-AA63-D82221E2ED3A.jpg 30 KB JPG >have you ever thought that maybe, if you didn't despise women so much, you might have an easier time getting with women?
: Anonymous (ID: oeyqgb4W) 07/10/22(Sun)23:14:44 No.15697778 F9A1C2CF-09A6-408F-AA63-D82221E2ED3A.jpg 30 KB JPG >have you ever thought that maybe, if you didn't despise women so much, you might have an easier time getting with women?

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anon reads a Zelda ranking list | /r/Greentext

WW-Link.jpg 33 KB JPG >see someone rank the Zelda games >They combine Oracle of ages and Oracle of seasons as one game >Puts Links Awakening in the top 5-7 because of nostalgia >Has Minish Cap as one of the worst ones because they never played it
WW-Link.jpg 33 KB JPG >see someone rank the Zelda games >They combine Oracle of ages and Oracle of seasons as one game >Puts Links Awakening in the top 5-7 because of nostalgia >Has Minish Cap as one of the worst ones because they never played it

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anon enjoys the white stuff | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >feels dairy man 3 KB JPG 07/10/22(Sun)08:01:23 No.69353501 >be me >milk jug >am milk >mfw
: Anonymous >feels dairy man 3 KB JPG 07/10/22(Sun)08:01:23 No.69353501 >be me >milk jug >am milk >mfw

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Penis enhancement rulers | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/10/22(Sun)22:19:35 No.881789228 >>881789268 File: ruler-2.png (10 KB, 630x315) C 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 2 3 8 ........ ….….….….….…..….….….….….….….... >>881788956 You don't need to photoshop your d--- dumbass. >buy a ruler >use sandpaper to grind off the numbers and lines >draw on new ones >normally 1 inch is 2.54 cm >grab your 2nd ruler >draw the 1 inch lines with gaps of 1.252 cm >4 inches turned into 8 inches >send picture >omg anon no way you are that big you edited that picture >send video >wow now i know it's not a photoshop edit >c-- in her >get an abortion (non-us only) >repeat
Anonymous 07/10/22(Sun)22:19:35 No.881789228 >>881789268 File: ruler-2.png (10 KB, 630x315) C 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 2 3 8 ........ ….….….….….…..….….….….….….….... >>881788956 You don't need to photoshop your d--- dumbass. >buy a ruler >use sandpaper to grind off the numbers and lines >draw on new ones >normally 1 inch is 2.54 cm >grab your 2nd ruler >draw the 1 inch lines with gaps of 1.252 cm >4 inches turned into 8 inches >send picture >omg anon no way you are that big you edited that picture >send video >wow now i know it's not a photoshop edit >c-- in her >get an abortion (non-us only) >repeat

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Anon found the secret to sloppy toppy | /r/Greentext

BD 316 KB JPG >me >have a real waifu >(how? Idfk) >she's reading Verity >reads the whole f------ thing in one sitting >she finishes book >f------ assaults my d--- with her pie hole >holy f--- never had her suck me off like this before Anons, I just ordered all the other Colleen Hoover books
BD 316 KB JPG >me >have a real waifu >(how? Idfk) >she's reading Verity >reads the whole f------ thing in one sitting >she finishes book >f------ assaults my d--- with her pie hole >holy f--- never had her suck me off like this before Anons, I just ordered all the other Colleen Hoover books

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Maintaining the people's interest | /r/Greentext


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Anon is hungry | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/09/22 (Wed)05:35:51 No.4097292 >are u a grass ARE_U_A_GRASS.jpg 194 KB JPG
: Anonymous 03/09/22 (Wed)05:35:51 No.4097292 >are u a grass ARE_U_A_GRASS.jpg 194 KB JPG

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Straight to the point | /r/Greentext

File: 1542053584067.jpg (13 KB, 446x354) Anonymous 07/09/22(Sat)21:51:56 No.10319333 [Reply]► >>10320006 >>10320112 what is this board like? can i have fun here? +4 replies and 2 images omitted. Click here to view. >> Anonymous 07/10/22(Sun)11:35:48 No.10320006 File: gatto.png (118 KB, 252x237) >>10320119 >>10319333 (OP) i dont want you to have any kind of fun here
File: 1542053584067.jpg (13 KB, 446x354) Anonymous 07/09/22(Sat)21:51:56 No.10319333 [Reply]► >>10320006 >>10320112 what is this board like? can i have fun here? +4 replies and 2 images omitted. Click here to view. >> Anonymous 07/10/22(Sun)11:35:48 No.10320006 File: gatto.png (118 KB, 252x237) >>10320119 >>10319333 (OP) i dont want you to have any kind of fun here

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Still worth it | /r/Greentext


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Anon encounters a dog | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous DEAR LIBTARD >be me, 12 or 13 CORNFLAKES IF GLOBAL WARMING >be super horny constantly IS REAL... THEN WHY AM I NOT ALLOWED TO SAY THE N-WORD IN A WALLMART? 07/10/22(Sun)22:20:26 No.881783324 347 KB PNG >she has 2 dogs and a cat, a daschund and a pitbull and british shorthair >she lives on a farm (owned by someone else, she just lives there) >be visiting relatives on the southern coast >have great aunt that lives high up in the mountains >be outside in a field playing with big dog >i love big dogs, this one is very friendly >dog rolls over for me to scratch her tummy >Horny.exe >Unfortunately, critical thinking.exe has stopped working >feel boner in pants >dog is still laying on her back >see dogussy >have idea >whip out d--- and touch the tip to the dogussy >put my face close to dog's face >she licks my face >big_horny.gif >try to put d--- into dogussy >thank the heavens a big noise or something is heard somewhere far away >dog gets up and runs toward it, barking >i regain self awareness and feel maximum shame : Anonymous i want to delete this memory, hopefully writing it out helps in some way 07/10/22(Sun)22:23:02 No.881783443
: Anonymous DEAR LIBTARD >be me, 12 or 13 CORNFLAKES IF GLOBAL WARMING >be super horny constantly IS REAL... THEN WHY AM I NOT ALLOWED TO SAY THE N-WORD IN A WALLMART? 07/10/22(Sun)22:20:26 No.881783324 347 KB PNG >she has 2 dogs and a cat, a daschund and a pitbull and british shorthair >she lives on a farm (owned by someone else, she just lives there) >be visiting relatives on the southern coast >have great aunt that lives high up in the mountains >be outside in a field playing with big dog >i love big dogs, this one is very friendly >dog rolls over for me to scratch her tummy >Horny.exe >Unfortunately, critical thinking.exe has stopped working >feel boner in pants >dog is still laying on her back >see dogussy >have idea >whip out d--- and touch the tip to the dogussy >put my face close to dog's face >she licks my face >big_horny.gif >try to put d--- into dogussy >thank the heavens a big noise or something is heard somewhere far away >dog gets up and runs toward it, barking >i regain self awareness and feel maximum shame : Anonymous i want to delete this memory, hopefully writing it out helps in some way 07/10/22(Sun)22:23:02 No.881783443

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