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File: confused-reaction-face-gif.gif (339 KB, 500x318) Anomymous 01/14/19(Mon)21.01:53 No.64057087 64057103 64057110 6405711664057150 64057200 6405720864057279 64057385 64057390 64057400 64057450 64057464 64057621 64057 64057711 64057759 64058002 64053008 64058489 64058553 264058611 >male wizards are depicted as old men >female wizards are depicted as young and beautiful women S Anonymous 01/14/19(Mon)21:02-52 No.54057103 64057162 64057260 264059406 64057087 COP) Female wizards make themselves look hot with magic Male wizards make themselves look wise with magic Anonymous 01/14/19(Mon)23:47:28 No.64059406 64057103 Youve got it all wrong. Female wizards make themselves look like crazy old men to be left alone and get to do whatever they want. Male wizards make themselves into hot girls because thirty years of virginity has turned them into degenerates.

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Uploaded by jajaja

Anonymous 10/28/19(Mon)16:37:56 No.483230194 >be me >9 at the time >playing luigi's mansion for the first time >get to the piano ghost melody >develop crush on her 21 KB JPG force parents to buy me a keyboard and take me to piano lessons eventually get really good at it >ffw 3 years >playing the piano at some department store while waiting for my mom to finish shopping >girl from my school sees me "wow anon i didn't know you played that good" >turns out she's also a piano f-- >get her number fuckyeah.jpg >fw to today >still with her >going to college >probably gonna major in music >mfw this all started cuz i had a crush on some ghost bitch from luigi's mansion thanks luigi

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Uploaded by Juicydeath1025

El Anonymous 02/27/11 (Sun)01:34 No. 140589 10E) >Walking home from party late one evening >Several guys were following me, as my drunk ass managed to piss them off by existing >Try to walk faster, to no avail, as I'm drunk as s--- >Catch me in some random college student neighborhood >Oh s---, my ass is about to be beaten >Still in talking phase >Lights fick on in the house >Three guys in full musketeer garb walk out >Leader is some blond guy with a beard, eyepatch, and some weird-ass accent >"What sort of ruffians would be accosting someone outside our residence? Stand and deliver! >Guys start yelling at them to f--- off, that I deserved to get my ass beaten >Very well, then. Draw steel, you blackguard! >All three of them draw rapiers on their belts >Guys run >"1 know not why those foul men sought your harm, but come and tell us the tale, stranger!" >Spend remainder of evening drinking mulled wine with lunatics >Bunch of Swedish re-enactors live there >Blond guy is actually missing an eye; lost it in a machine shop accident >Stagger home completely drunk with a hat I have no idea people like that existed. Or had the money to rent a house. □ SothlknPhGLZt6gr 02/27/11(Sun)01:36 No.14058930曰 F------ EPIC Anonymous 02/27/11 (Sun)01:41 No. 140589829 214058910 THIS A THOUSAND TIMES THIS

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Uploaded by Don

ile: 13906 (35 KB, 254x300, scribe2.jpg) Anonymous 01/24/14(Fri)19:10 UTC-5 No.29757715 Replies: 2975831529758618>29758664 2975919329760485 29760622 2976081829760899 297 29761055 29761087 29762176 >Be Irish monk >Spend childhood learning to read and write >Love books and knowledge, particularly the Ancient Greek authors (why is Plutarch so based?) Spend most of my life copying F------ Vikings attack >Run away carrying all the books I can Find new monastery, start all >Have to trek all the way to Rome to get copies of burned books >Beaten and robbed by bandits on the way, left for dead >Fall sick >Spend months in a farmers cottage healing >Get on ship >Ship attacked by more Vikings (why do people today idolize these assholes?) >Spend year as a slave books by hand over again 50 >Escape, continue on to Rome >Spend months petitioning the Pope to give me copies of the lost books >Start back home >Almost drowned in a storm on the way back >Attacked by bandits again >Almost killed >This time am saved by a local king, still I almost s--- myself >Get back to monastery >Spend the rest of life copying books so future generations will have the knowledge 1500 year later >Be in heaven >Look down to see what happening >See fedora-f--- writing "Oh if only the Church had never existed society would be so much more advanced because of how hard they worked to burn books and destroy knowledge." Yes if there were no Christianity we'd be in space age society by now, f--- those guys." >mfw

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Uploaded by I am Melonlord

Anonymous 07/21/19(Sun)20:42:51 No.805223939 >17th bday >the bois got tired of me being a virgin >they gave a slut at our school 500 USD to f--- me wwSirdcator 575 KB JPG they locked us in a room together >i give her a hug and tell her "Your better than this" >she cries and gives me a peck in the cheek Crisis avoided and kept my virginity

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Uploaded by elmashojaldra

+] Legend of the Plague Doctor Anonymous Dress up as plague doctor. >Walk down street to McDonalds. >Enter, walk to counter. >Hot blond girl turns around and screams. Put on deep voice. >"DO NOT BE AFRAID, CHILD! >Wave arms, leap onto counter. >Kickover register and charity jar. >Raise hands into air. "PURRRRIFFFFYYYYYYYYY >Manager storms in, appears angry >Moonwalk >Kick fat kid's McFlurry from hands. SrYou are fat. You need not this." >Tip hat to manager, jump from counter. >Head for door, see bitch/hot girl from high school. >She has fries, is staring with gaping jaw. >Sprint to her >Grab her fries, slap her. >Manager shouts, tries to grab hat. >Spin around, slap him across face "UNHAND ME, MALE OF BROWN SKIN!" >Sparta kick the door. > Run out of store. Walk the dinosaur >Go home, leave without costume >Return to McDonald's, see sign with "no dogs allowed" stuff. >See picture of plague doctor with cross-out thing on it LOL

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Uploaded by The Russian Brony

Anonymous 03/19/13(Tue)05:13 No.181622235 Replies: 1816226291816226542181622751181622824181622908181623013181623198181623268 2181623298181623334181623448 181623738 >181623869 >181624049 181624406 File: 1363684381702 ipg-(104 KB, 500x484, sad_frog_2547[1].jpg) >guy in TF2 talking on the mic with a thick arab accent >"You all go now. Go to fight the bad. I stay defend. They no get past. I stay, you go fight.I alone stay for to defend. Take their box. I stay." >someone tells him to shut the f--- up tell them to shut the f--- up and let him talk if he wants (because I think he's funny to listen to) >he adds me every f------ game I play with him he does the exact same s--- >"I am Tank. I wait by helicopter. You kill. I won't let through. You kill. Boomer man, go vomit. I alone guard helicopter. You go. - "You put portal there. Good. I wait. You discover answer. I know answer. Keep portal there. I will put portal when need. Keep putting portal. Good. Do you see? I wait. You put portal. Good just talking non-stop every f------ game we play arab spring happens have no idea where he lives one day he sends me a message >"bad times friend ahead >"maybe no computer" >"maybe no home >"i go away but we are two of soul" will return Last Online: 615 days ago Good luck, you wonderful bastard.

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Uploaded by Wimbleflat

Funny story >had gf at time. Be sleeping together 37 KB JPG >having dream about fighting Throwing hooks but it's like I've got the brakes on >apparently making agitated noises and saying "eat s---" in my sleep >gf decides to wake me up thinking I'm having a nightmare >she snaps me out of my dream right as I'm throwing a punch >unload a full force left hook right into her stomach >she rolls of the bed winded >I snap up still confused >scream "eat s--- bob Ross" at the top of my lungs >hear my gf sucking wind and laughing her ass off at the same time

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Uploaded by Snickerway

12/06/17(Wed)22:41:21 No. 152315696 fire.jpg 364 KB JPG >> 152305387 (OP) # 1920 >be californian >get duped into buying Australian eucalyptus trees plant thousands of acres >Australians forget to mention it takes at least 100 years for the trees to mature >thousands of investors go broke >2017 >100 years later eucalyptus trees have spread everywhere and have finally matured >Australians also forgot to mention the trees produce a highly flammable toxic oil that builds up in the tree california burns down

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Uploaded by Twist

296970883 childhood best >Have lifelong childhood best friend who is a girl >We swear 1 00% never to be boyfriend and girlfriend >Come 18 we're f------ like rabbits >Married her at 25 >>96983342 # Anonymous 11/22/17(Wed)15:10:37 No.9698334 >>96978978 # How does happiness feel anon? Care to share it with us?

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Uploaded by elmashojaldra

>Be me >Playing second ever campaign with 3 other people (Dm 1 edgy elf rogue 1 dwarf druid) >I'm playing as a monk >Weaboo af >Some noble tells us to help a village in the mountains >Party goes "sure, why not" as we don't wanna f--- up DM's quest line >We arrive to the village and it's almost empty except for two orcs and a few scared (human) villagers Turns out a nearby orc tribe has kidnapped all the women and killed all the men >eeh...ok.gif >We arrive at orc camp, kill all the orcs Out steps the orc war boss, and at this point we're all at low HP >guesswe'lldie.jpeg War boss goes straight for edgy rogue (who is squishy af) >Is too far away for melee so decide to act quickly >Cut off the d--- of one of his fallen orc comrades and throws it at him DM says he'll allow it but it doesn't count as a ranged weapon (but i think "hey, at least it might aggro him on me instead of squishy rogue") >Whole party in suspense as i roll dice >NAT F------ 20 >Monk character reaches maximum enlightenment, discovers new monastic tradition: way of the thrown penis >The orc d--- lands directly in his mouth One last orc who was apparently on patrol walks in and sees his boss with a cut off d--- in his mouth >He is so ashamed of his boss, he helps us take him down >Slightly homophobic orc becomes new team-member (played by DM) >After this glorious victory we rescue the women Apparently the orcs were using them as breeding animals to get half-orc warriors to fight off a goblin invasion or some s--- >We were supposed to be shocked, but we were still laughing from my epic d----throw >That moment when DM tries his best to create a serious dark campaign and it's all ruined by an orc d--- and a weaboo monk

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Uploaded by Zander_Von_Solidarc

Anonymous 86 KB PNG 03/21/23(Tue)06:52:09 No.250341473 >fantasy setting has magic and flying creatures >still using horses as main transportation 03/21/23(Tue)06:56:27 No.250341651 Anonymous >>250341473 (OP) # >setting has nuclear energy >still using coal as main energy source >>250341784 # >>250343657 # >>250344673 # >>250346290 # >>250350741 # >>250355196 # >>250355399 # >>250358696 # >>250362753 # >>250371435 # >>250374133 # >>250376847 # >>250377612 # >>250381483 # >>250381567 # >>250384563 # >>250385675 # >>250386814 # >>250395246 # >>250400522 #

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Uploaded by Philipp

Anonymous 08/07/18(Tue)16:22:49 No.102138544 >British documentary >Here, in the jungles of Bhata- Tuthu, the praying mantis is in search of its prey. >3 minutes of very clean and uninterrupted footage of the praying mantis following a spider 40 KB JPG >no room at all for misinterpretation >American documentary >Guitar riffs playing in the backround >YOU PROBABLY WOULDNT WANT ONE OF THESE KILLERS IN YOUR BACK YARD >Rapid jump cuts of the praying mantis >THE PRAYING MANTIS MIGHT LOOK LIKE A BUG IN CHURCH, BUT THIS NASTY MOTHER-SUCKER IS NOT TO BE MESSED WITH >More flashy jump cuts >THIS LITTLE SPIDER DOESNT KNOW WHATS WAITING FOR HIM, THE FURY OF THE MANTIS IS NOT TO BE UNDERESTIMATED >More flashy jump cuts >The mantis strikes >Strange animal growling and screeching noises are dubbed in as it attacks because silent footage is too boring for americans >Slow mo replay of the attack in black and white >AND ITS OVER IN A FLASH >THAT LITTLE SPIDER >SHOULD'VE PRAYED >TO THE MANTIS >Starwipe to next clip

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Uploaded by hidralalo

Anonymous 36 minutes ago 1157d2508d156b79213bcdaefa9fccAcfb5e2b9thq.gif (865.8 KB, 500x281) 20497629 anon's help a girl out be me female >19 short, but dont let it get to me >lesbian >help a male friend move out have trouble lifting a box (Its super small so its sort of embarassing) hes 6'6 and super ripped >picks it up and chuckles for a second pats me on head >suddenlyverywet.jpg I THOUGHT I WAS LESBIAN, IVE ONLY DATED GIRLS, HELP ME WHAT DO I DO 2 REPLIES

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Uploaded by OeperinoOomoro

thejourneytonirvana ilmotel: enadams: today at work i let someone into a dressing room and they said "thanks" and half of me tried to say "you're welcome" and the other half tried to say "no problem" and i ended up saying "your problem" Anonymous 12/07/11 (Wed)16:28 No.5220706 Reposting my all time favorite greentext. playing soccer in gym ball is up in the air >think I'm gonna be awesome and air kick it into the goal try miss bal >kick goalie in the face stry to ask "Are you okay? and "I'm f------ sorry." at the same time instead end up yelling "ARE YOU F------ SORRY1? goalie is choking back tears this post had me in tears

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Uploaded by Sir Soundwave

Anonymous 10/12/17(Thu)23:00:07 No.40366294 slove having pressure on top of me >buy a weighted blanket so I can have something snug and warm lay on top of me and feel like I'm being デくプ hugged 96 KB JPG >do more research >find out weighted blankets are made for autistic kids oh no

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Uploaded by Winday, Furries Pirate

Anonymous 05/08/16(Sun)23:04:54 No 683368161 >be me >20 >walking around Brooklyn new to the city feel and opportunity come up >yell at the top of my lungs 6 KB JPG BADDA BING > some fat guy in a greasy tank top yells from his apartment window >BADDA BOOM >mfw

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Uploaded by Goatllama

: Anonymous 10/21/20(Wed)23:44:01 No.838359702 >be me >30 y/o now >grew up without a father >mom used to make me dinner and we would watch king of the hill >always admired hank hill >begin to model my life after him 51 KB PNG in my 20s >have this thing where i ask myself "what would mr hill do" when important decisions come up >generally works out for me >saved me from some costly mistakes thru life >dedicate myself to working hard through my 20s >had plenty saved before covid >multiple high risk factora like asthma >able to go on extended leave without much to worry about >just bought a propane grill Are you proud of me dad?

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Uploaded by Ally Dinning

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Uploaded by Mace121

□ Anonymous 12/07/11 (Wed)16:28 No.5220706 Reposting my all time favorite greentext. >playing soccer in gym ball is up in the air >think I'm gonna be awesome and air kick it into the goal stry >miss ball >kick goalie in the face try to ask "Are you okay?" and "I'm f------ sorry."at the same time instead end up yelling "ARE YOU F------ SORRY!?" goalie is choking back tears

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Uploaded by Hamilton

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