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Happy Thanksgiving

40m · My mom invited Kevin to thanksgiving dinner.... Kevin is the man my aunt sheryl has been having an affair with....☺☺ kevin invited my aunt sheryl to dinner at a friends house but she said no cause she was having dinner with family. So kevin is going to this friends house alone... This friends house happens to be my house. My aunt sheryl is having dinner at my house with her husband, Kevin is my moms coworker. Sheryl met kevin at a bar when she told my uncle she was working late. Kevin showed me a pic of his new girlfriend 2 weeks ago. I told my mom to invite kevin. I cant wait to sit next to kevin. Aunt sheryl ruined my relationship a few years ago & i told her to count her days--- that day is today. Happy thanksgiving everyone
40m · My mom invited Kevin to thanksgiving dinner.... Kevin is the man my aunt sheryl has been having an affair with....☺☺ kevin invited my aunt sheryl to dinner at a friends house but she said no cause she was having dinner with family. So kevin is going to this friends house alone... This friends house happens to be my house. My aunt sheryl is having dinner at my house with her husband, Kevin is my moms coworker. Sheryl met kevin at a bar when she told my uncle she was working late. Kevin showed me a pic of his new girlfriend 2 weeks ago. I told my mom to invite kevin. I cant wait to sit next to kevin. Aunt sheryl ruined my relationship a few years ago & i told her to count her days--- that day is today. Happy thanksgiving everyone

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WATER

This guy was tired of seeing Americans with Chinese tattoos, so he showed her what it looks to a Chinese person. Espray 無情 WATER 好奇 7/1
This guy was tired of seeing Americans with Chinese tattoos, so he showed her what it looks to a Chinese person. Espray 無情 WATER 好奇 7/1

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She'd be mad

Torey Van Oot ✔ @toreyvanoot CAPTION OF THE YEAR: ANTHONY SOUFFLE, STAR TRIBUNE A University of Minnesota student crossed University Avenue in shorts today. He wouldn't give his name because he said his mom would be mad at him.
Torey Van Oot ✔ @toreyvanoot CAPTION OF THE YEAR: ANTHONY SOUFFLE, STAR TRIBUNE A University of Minnesota student crossed University Avenue in shorts today. He wouldn't give his name because he said his mom would be mad at him.

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Mad toddler

Josh @iwearaonesie toddler *shows me his new toy* me: Who gave you that? toddler: My friend me: When? toddler: When he wasn't looking
Josh @iwearaonesie toddler *shows me his new toy* me: Who gave you that? toddler: My friend me: When? toddler: When he wasn't looking

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Okay fair

How do you pronounce your name Kaylee it's just spelled weird lol I don't think this is gonna work okay fair
How do you pronounce your name Kaylee it's just spelled weird lol I don't think this is gonna work okay fair

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There's always a way

Msilly wan 8 When my parents take my phone away so now I gotta text her on my fridge 365.8K 2889 2889 comments ✗ bro how r u recording 4d Reply Another fridge 937
Msilly wan 8 When my parents take my phone away so now I gotta text her on my fridge 365.8K 2889 2889 comments ✗ bro how r u recording 4d Reply Another fridge 937

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He's sick

Messages Kyle Details Sorry I sneezed and liked all of your pictures. And commented "d mommy" on all of them?! i- I have the flu...
Messages Kyle Details Sorry I sneezed and liked all of your pictures. And commented "d mommy" on all of them?! i- I have the flu...

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Never running out

paper after WW2. We're still using them My wife's grandpa bought a stock of toilet Image ROYAL * CAPR CREPE ZACHT, STERK, ZEER DOUX, SOLIDE ET TRES SOLUBLE fabriqué sp4dd BAAR les Ets. MASQUELIER-TINSY & Manage-Tel. (064) 633.29
paper after WW2. We're still using them My wife's grandpa bought a stock of toilet Image ROYAL * CAPR CREPE ZACHT, STERK, ZEER DOUX, SOLIDE ET TRES SOLUBLE fabriqué sp4dd BAAR les Ets. MASQUELIER-TINSY & Manage-Tel. (064) 633.29

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Laser eyes

it seems to be a lie, but it's not @sincerity_pics Someone put red laser eyes on the Gandhi Statue in San Francisco MOHANDAS K. GANDHI Ober 2, 1869-January 3, 1945 5:54 PM - May 8, 2022 Twitter for Android 1,299 Retweets 161 Quote Tweets 9,808 Likes
it seems to be a lie, but it's not @sincerity_pics Someone put red laser eyes on the Gandhi Statue in San Francisco MOHANDAS K. GANDHI Ober 2, 1869-January 3, 1945 5:54 PM - May 8, 2022 Twitter for Android 1,299 Retweets 161 Quote Tweets 9,808 Likes

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It was bugging him

( ROBIN ) @swaglord_420 the first thing our new hire did was fix a bug that's been bugging him forever as a user prior to joining. he then breathed a sigh of relief and submitted his two weeks' notice. f?? 5:44 AM - Mar 31, 2021 Twitter Web App 5,806 Retweets 1,573 Quote Tweets 37K Likes
( ROBIN ) @swaglord_420 the first thing our new hire did was fix a bug that's been bugging him forever as a user prior to joining. he then breathed a sigh of relief and submitted his two weeks' notice. f?? 5:44 AM - Mar 31, 2021 Twitter Web App 5,806 Retweets 1,573 Quote Tweets 37K Likes

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What a guy

Sister-in-law had her driving test today. There are three possible spots. they use to test reversing round a corner, and one of them she just couldn't master. So Stepdad Ken went and parked his car there so the examiner had to pick one of the other two. Anyway, she passed.
Sister-in-law had her driving test today. There are three possible spots. they use to test reversing round a corner, and one of them she just couldn't master. So Stepdad Ken went and parked his car there so the examiner had to pick one of the other two. Anyway, she passed.

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Cruel...

big wet pig @bigwetpig I work at Domino's and sometimes when people put instructions for different ingredients to be on the left/right I put the left ingredients on the right and the right ingredients on the left
big wet pig @bigwetpig I work at Domino's and sometimes when people put instructions for different ingredients to be on the left/right I put the left ingredients on the right and the right ingredients on the left

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No

This was at the library at my college Can I turn in a paper without citing all sources? "No".1 1 William Shakespeare, Hamlet, Act III, Scene 1, line 96
This was at the library at my college Can I turn in a paper without citing all sources? "No".1 1 William Shakespeare, Hamlet, Act III, Scene 1, line 96

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How's he gonna know?

Ballboyz X Twobz 3d- my lil brother turn 3 this august but since money tight we not gone tell him Like Comment Keraa Nicole and 4.3K others Share 9,395 shares View previous comments... 81452
Ballboyz X Twobz 3d- my lil brother turn 3 this august but since money tight we not gone tell him Like Comment Keraa Nicole and 4.3K others Share 9,395 shares View previous comments... 81452

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Friends in the bathroom

One time I accidentally went to the mens washroom Instead of the womens. I only found out after I opened a pad and the person In the stall next to me said "Dude it must be a huge s if you're having snacks in here, good luck". hey there delilah @delilahsmith420 I choked on my water
One time I accidentally went to the mens washroom Instead of the womens. I only found out after I opened a pad and the person In the stall next to me said "Dude it must be a huge s if you're having snacks in here, good luck". hey there delilah @delilahsmith420 I choked on my water

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Hustlin'

iena @ElenaBjxrn I just remembered the time I went on a first date to London Zoo and at the gate he asked if I would mind paying for my own ticket, which I said I would, at which point he pulled out a 2-for-1 voucher, so I paid for my ticket and he went in for free. 23:24 13/12/2022 TweetDeck
iena @ElenaBjxrn I just remembered the time I went on a first date to London Zoo and at the gate he asked if I would mind paying for my own ticket, which I said I would, at which point he pulled out a 2-for-1 voucher, so I paid for my ticket and he went in for free. 23:24 13/12/2022 TweetDeck

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