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Anon uses adblock | /r/Greentext

File: me.jpg (63 KB, 680x763) Anonymous 01/12/22(Wed)22:46:24 No.870542169 >It looks like you're using an ad blocker. YES.
File: me.jpg (63 KB, 680x763) Anonymous 01/12/22(Wed)22:46:24 No.870542169 >It looks like you're using an ad blocker. YES.

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Anon visits the hood | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/12/22(Wed)22:24:30 No.66961501 >At corner store. Just passing by. >The ghetto.jpeg >l just want to buy my s--- and gtfo. >4 or 5 year old kid walks into store >None of my business.png >Kid goes up to the clerk, points at candy, and says "Candy". 25 KB JPG >"You got money, kid?" >The kid says nothing and leaves. >None of my business.zip >A few mins later the kid is back. >He has a gun with him >Walks up to clerk and points the gun at him. >"Candy Nigguh!" >w-- >Clerk laughs. >The gun is clearly fake. >Kid has a serious expression and isnt playing around. >Clerk laughs some more and gives the kid some candy. Free of charge. >w-- >I hate the hood.
: Anonymous 01/12/22(Wed)22:24:30 No.66961501 >At corner store. Just passing by. >The ghetto.jpeg >l just want to buy my s--- and gtfo. >4 or 5 year old kid walks into store >None of my business.png >Kid goes up to the clerk, points at candy, and says "Candy". 25 KB JPG >"You got money, kid?" >The kid says nothing and leaves. >None of my business.zip >A few mins later the kid is back. >He has a gun with him >Walks up to clerk and points the gun at him. >"Candy Nigguh!" >w-- >Clerk laughs. >The gun is clearly fake. >Kid has a serious expression and isnt playing around. >Clerk laughs some more and gives the kid some candy. Free of charge. >w-- >I hate the hood.

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Anon catches a smuggler | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/19/18(Mon)17:07:31 No.785261856 >Be me >Security guard at airport >Fml every day same s--- >Consider suicide at least twice a shift >One day see hottie with a great ass and green 1.41 MB PNG leggings >She's walking a bit funny Suspicion.zip >Run metal detector on her while trying to cop a cheeky feel >Oh s--- detector went off >Oh s--- she looks nervous best investigate >Oh s--- oh s--- oh s--- >mfw I just busted an international diamond smuggler 16 Replies / 3 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 11/19/18(Mon)17:07:31 No.785261856 >Be me >Security guard at airport >Fml every day same s--- >Consider suicide at least twice a shift >One day see hottie with a great ass and green 1.41 MB PNG leggings >She's walking a bit funny Suspicion.zip >Run metal detector on her while trying to cop a cheeky feel >Oh s--- detector went off >Oh s--- she looks nervous best investigate >Oh s--- oh s--- oh s--- >mfw I just busted an international diamond smuggler 16 Replies / 3 Images View Thread

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Baby Turmoil | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I had the best dad 12/15/18(Sat)19:08:31 No.49862882 > Be me > Years ago. Still in womb. > Hear dad whispering nice poems. > Gonnabeagoodlife.mp3 > Hear dad leave for work. > Hear mom invite over 'Tyrone' > Black hose starts knocking 285 KB JPG against my head. > Hear dad come back and cry. > Hear mom beg for forgiveness. > Says he's staying for me. > mfw I realize this wonderful man is going to get stuck with this thot because of me. > Cant let that happen. > Decide to poison her toth bloodstream > Gonnatakeyoudownwithme.divx > Hear dad in hospital say goodbye to me and mom. > Hear moms heart beat stop before mine does. Goodbye dad. You deserve a better life. 4 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous I had the best dad 12/15/18(Sat)19:08:31 No.49862882 > Be me > Years ago. Still in womb. > Hear dad whispering nice poems. > Gonnabeagoodlife.mp3 > Hear dad leave for work. > Hear mom invite over 'Tyrone' > Black hose starts knocking 285 KB JPG against my head. > Hear dad come back and cry. > Hear mom beg for forgiveness. > Says he's staying for me. > mfw I realize this wonderful man is going to get stuck with this thot because of me. > Cant let that happen. > Decide to poison her toth bloodstream > Gonnatakeyoudownwithme.divx > Hear dad in hospital say goodbye to me and mom. > Hear moms heart beat stop before mine does. Goodbye dad. You deserve a better life. 4 Replies View Thread

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Happens all the time | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/07/18(Fri)10:30:33 No.786774273 > be me > depressed > goes to coffee shop > tries to order espresso > says depresso instead 303 KB PNG how was your day anons
: Anonymous 12/07/18(Fri)10:30:33 No.786774273 > be me > depressed > goes to coffee shop > tries to order espresso > says depresso instead 303 KB PNG how was your day anons

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Anon goes on Reddit, again | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/12/22(Wed)21:06:01 No.870510333 > go on Reddit > Post a link to a news article > Don't comment on it, add any value, just post a link with the title matching the news headline > Get thousands of upvotes and multiple people spend their money to give me an award 21 KB JPG > Their face
: Anonymous 01/12/22(Wed)21:06:01 No.870510333 > go on Reddit > Post a link to a news article > Don't comment on it, add any value, just post a link with the title matching the news headline > Get thousands of upvotes and multiple people spend their money to give me an award 21 KB JPG > Their face

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Anon is miserable | /r/Greentext

Leftists are laughing at us. They're not afraid. They're gloating and filled with joy. The system is rigged, and all our icons are disgraced. Even Jerry Falwell Jr. is a literal cuck. The party's only future is with Cubans and Mexicans. Libshits will never let us live the past year down. Kicked off every platform, finally discovered the free market doesn't actually work. Our own party turned against us. There's no point in even voting any longer. They're not afraid: they're 27 KB JPG overjoyed. Leftists are openly laughing at us. They're doxxing us, ratting us out to coworkers, friends, family, college deans, and law enforcement, they're getting us banned from everywhere and fired from our jobs and every new social media group is just another honeypot, and the cops we thought we were defending with blue line flags are shooting us like we're brown, and all while the leftists and liberals are openly mocking us and laughing in our faces. This last year has been one hell of a ride.
Leftists are laughing at us. They're not afraid. They're gloating and filled with joy. The system is rigged, and all our icons are disgraced. Even Jerry Falwell Jr. is a literal cuck. The party's only future is with Cubans and Mexicans. Libshits will never let us live the past year down. Kicked off every platform, finally discovered the free market doesn't actually work. Our own party turned against us. There's no point in even voting any longer. They're not afraid: they're 27 KB JPG overjoyed. Leftists are openly laughing at us. They're doxxing us, ratting us out to coworkers, friends, family, college deans, and law enforcement, they're getting us banned from everywhere and fired from our jobs and every new social media group is just another honeypot, and the cops we thought we were defending with blue line flags are shooting us like we're brown, and all while the leftists and liberals are openly mocking us and laughing in our faces. This last year has been one hell of a ride.

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Anon laughs at Canada's military | /r/Greentext

Trudeau promises military intervention if Trump refuses to leave office f in "The global democratic order must be enforced," stated Trudeau at a press conference this afternoon Jim Bronskill - The Canadian Press Posted: Nov 03, 2020 4:41 PM ET Trudeau issuing the dire warning at an impromptu press conference in Ottawa (Adrian Wyld/The Canadian Press) The Liberal government is promising immediate military intervention on American soil if Donald Trump refuses to leave office after the US presidential election today. 1604526638598.jpg 62 KB JPG Oh my God please let this happen E Anonymous 11/04/20(Wed)23:00:16 No.133506: All three tanks will be rolling towards DC
Trudeau promises military intervention if Trump refuses to leave office f in "The global democratic order must be enforced," stated Trudeau at a press conference this afternoon Jim Bronskill - The Canadian Press Posted: Nov 03, 2020 4:41 PM ET Trudeau issuing the dire warning at an impromptu press conference in Ottawa (Adrian Wyld/The Canadian Press) The Liberal government is promising immediate military intervention on American soil if Donald Trump refuses to leave office after the US presidential election today. 1604526638598.jpg 62 KB JPG Oh my God please let this happen E Anonymous 11/04/20(Wed)23:00:16 No.133506: All three tanks will be rolling towards DC

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Wholesome, real, and straight... maybe | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/24/18(Tue)03:04:18 No.775181071 > be me > 2003 or so > go to mcd while high for some nice latenight food with my best pal > we both high af >i order tendies for us to share 64 KB PNG > we share them outside looking at the dark night sky > he asks what meaning of life is > idk bro what do u think > "Apart from all the science of were we come from, i think my life is just gonna be me chillin and enjoying the good emotions i feel, just like rn when im with my best bud" > mfw i realised life is what u make of it
: Anonymous 07/24/18(Tue)03:04:18 No.775181071 > be me > 2003 or so > go to mcd while high for some nice latenight food with my best pal > we both high af >i order tendies for us to share 64 KB PNG > we share them outside looking at the dark night sky > he asks what meaning of life is > idk bro what do u think > "Apart from all the science of were we come from, i think my life is just gonna be me chillin and enjoying the good emotions i feel, just like rn when im with my best bud" > mfw i realised life is what u make of it

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Anon has no fingers | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/18/19(Mon)21:50:28 No.792989476 >be me >talented guitarist and pianist >won numerous talent shows >also a big fan of the youtube channel Vsauce >one day get into an accident >lose my fingers as a result >I have to type with my nose 120 KB JPG >can no longer play instruments >my life passions are gone >feeling really depressed >see a new Vsauce video in my subscriptions box >"Is Anything Real?" uploaded June 3rd 2013 >so excited to watch a new Vsauce video >video starts >"Hey, Vsauce! Michael here! Where are your fingers?" >immediately start crying
: Anonymous 02/18/19(Mon)21:50:28 No.792989476 >be me >talented guitarist and pianist >won numerous talent shows >also a big fan of the youtube channel Vsauce >one day get into an accident >lose my fingers as a result >I have to type with my nose 120 KB JPG >can no longer play instruments >my life passions are gone >feeling really depressed >see a new Vsauce video in my subscriptions box >"Is Anything Real?" uploaded June 3rd 2013 >so excited to watch a new Vsauce video >video starts >"Hey, Vsauce! Michael here! Where are your fingers?" >immediately start crying

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Anon tries to socialize | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/12/22(Wed)15:09:25 No.66956034 >stand at bus stop with same cute girl every morning for weeks >yesterday shes not there >today shes back >say to her "had to stand here all by myself yesterday, was a bit lonely" 436 KB PNG >she turns to me and I smile back >she responds "thats uh... weird" >she rolls her widened eyes and puffs her cheeks, as if shes Jim from The Office and the camera just panned in on her face >we go back to standing in silence this happened over an hour ago and i keep replaying it over and over in my head should i have pursued or did i make that right call by just shutting up i really wish id said nothing at all, f---!
: Anonymous 01/12/22(Wed)15:09:25 No.66956034 >stand at bus stop with same cute girl every morning for weeks >yesterday shes not there >today shes back >say to her "had to stand here all by myself yesterday, was a bit lonely" 436 KB PNG >she turns to me and I smile back >she responds "thats uh... weird" >she rolls her widened eyes and puffs her cheeks, as if shes Jim from The Office and the camera just panned in on her face >we go back to standing in silence this happened over an hour ago and i keep replaying it over and over in my head should i have pursued or did i make that right call by just shutting up i really wish id said nothing at all, f---!

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"Those bastards lied to me" | /r/Greentext

No. 870510680 01/12/22(Wed)06:19:14 EtJsllQXcAAZPrZ.jpg 31 KB 360x310 >come to 4chan to look at funny hilarious characters interact with each other in charming ways >instead see a lot of gore and p--- >try to rationalize seeing a lady get hit by a car while twerking >feel bad about bad things that happen to people >get called a n----- >try to look at normal p--- afterwards but everything looks gross now >hate women slightly now What the f--- was I thinking 8 replies, 4 images No. 870510768 01/12/22(Wed)06:22:36 1638080408380.png 75 KB 296x190 >>870510680 Welcome to the family you f------ n-----.
No. 870510680 01/12/22(Wed)06:19:14 EtJsllQXcAAZPrZ.jpg 31 KB 360x310 >come to 4chan to look at funny hilarious characters interact with each other in charming ways >instead see a lot of gore and p--- >try to rationalize seeing a lady get hit by a car while twerking >feel bad about bad things that happen to people >get called a n----- >try to look at normal p--- afterwards but everything looks gross now >hate women slightly now What the f--- was I thinking 8 replies, 4 images No. 870510768 01/12/22(Wed)06:22:36 1638080408380.png 75 KB 296x190 >>870510680 Welcome to the family you f------ n-----.

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Anons retarded friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/19(Tue)21:58:28 No.797021790 Autistic technology stories I'll start >be me 14 at the time >maths teacher let's our class go to the computer 4 KB PNG room >fuckyeah.jpg >download and play runescape on one of the computers >friend sitting next to me starts panicking and looks over at me >his screen got unplugged >howthefuckdidyoudothat.jpg >he tells me to plug it back in for him because he does not know how >and he says do NOT look at the screen >plug it in >mfw it's f------ furry p--- >mfw it's sonic vore This is why I can't be friends with that tardI have countless stories of him and his autism
: Anonymous 04/09/19(Tue)21:58:28 No.797021790 Autistic technology stories I'll start >be me 14 at the time >maths teacher let's our class go to the computer 4 KB PNG room >fuckyeah.jpg >download and play runescape on one of the computers >friend sitting next to me starts panicking and looks over at me >his screen got unplugged >howthefuckdidyoudothat.jpg >he tells me to plug it back in for him because he does not know how >and he says do NOT look at the screen >plug it in >mfw it's f------ furry p--- >mfw it's sonic vore This is why I can't be friends with that tardI have countless stories of him and his autism

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Anon thinks about something big and starts feeling good | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 804062733 11 min. fa •.• >be me >named David >be depressed for the past 4 years, almost killed myself a couple times >one day while eating with my mother she says that she gave me my name by the David and Goliath story >think about it 203,4 kB JPG >My depression is my Goliath >No matter how weak and insignificant I am I will prevail my Goliath and kill it >Start feeling better about myself Thanks mom.
Anonymous | 804062733 11 min. fa •.• >be me >named David >be depressed for the past 4 years, almost killed myself a couple times >one day while eating with my mother she says that she gave me my name by the David and Goliath story >think about it 203,4 kB JPG >My depression is my Goliath >No matter how weak and insignificant I am I will prevail my Goliath and kill it >Start feeling better about myself Thanks mom.

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Rip............. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)09:06:41 No.10531852 >walking home at night >pass a group of youths >one of them tells me I dropped my gay card >I look down for it and realise I've been the victim of a practical joke >l am unmoved, I tell the youth that his provocations are futile because I am a stoic >he bursts out laughing and says it's pronounced stow-ic, not stoike >break down and cry in the street >>10532164 # >>10532217 # >>10532453 # >>10532459
: Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)09:06:41 No.10531852 >walking home at night >pass a group of youths >one of them tells me I dropped my gay card >I look down for it and realise I've been the victim of a practical joke >l am unmoved, I tell the youth that his provocations are futile because I am a stoic >he bursts out laughing and says it's pronounced stow-ic, not stoike >break down and cry in the street >>10532164 # >>10532217 # >>10532453 # >>10532459

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Anon knows his friend from TOP to BOTTOM | /r/Greentext

AnonymouS No.643300058 1 minute ago >Be me >Best friend and I move into a house together >Neither of us have GFs >F--- each other because it's better than masturbating >Decide to get married for tax benefits >Adopt a kid to be our little bro >One day while we f--- our balls touch >He doesnt stop and say "no h---" Am I married to a f-----? How do I tell our son? 1 reply
AnonymouS No.643300058 1 minute ago >Be me >Best friend and I move into a house together >Neither of us have GFs >F--- each other because it's better than masturbating >Decide to get married for tax benefits >Adopt a kid to be our little bro >One day while we f--- our balls touch >He doesnt stop and say "no h---" Am I married to a f-----? How do I tell our son? 1 reply

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Anon finds love | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous (ID: eQot91c+) 05/01/13(Wed)18:34:43 No.477045509 File: 1367447683568.jpg-(9 KB, 480x360, yui.jpg) >>477043204 >be me >be 16 >be a total beta >have few friends nothing special >total weaboo >be doing duke of edinburgh award >for the volunteering decide to help a paralyzed girl and her mum >her dad was fighting over seas at the time >first day listen to the mum about what i'll be doing idgf >meet girl >10/10 >DAYUM.jpeg >say hello how are you the usual s--- >get started helping the mum cook >me and her get talking about her daughter >ask what she does all day >she just lies in bed watching t.v. >feels bad man >don't think much other of it though >go in to take her food and to her feed her etc >SHE'S WATCHING DEATH NOTE >we start talking like crazy >discuss other anime >become friends quickly >keep up DoE award >keep talking to her >become very good friends >DOE ends >keep on visiting her after school >go out with her,with her in a wheel chair >go to park and stuff >she's never been outside for a prolonged amount of time >start dating kind of >keep on visiting and helping out >watch anime together for a couple of weeks >get onto angel beats >episode ten >find out Yui was paralyzed >keep quiet >marriage proposal scene >engageovérfeel.png >10/10 girl asks if i would like her more if she could move >tears rolling down face >throw my arms around her >softly say "you are perfect the way you are, don't ever change" that was the first time i ever hugged my wife
O Anonymous (ID: eQot91c+) 05/01/13(Wed)18:34:43 No.477045509 File: 1367447683568.jpg-(9 KB, 480x360, yui.jpg) >>477043204 >be me >be 16 >be a total beta >have few friends nothing special >total weaboo >be doing duke of edinburgh award >for the volunteering decide to help a paralyzed girl and her mum >her dad was fighting over seas at the time >first day listen to the mum about what i'll be doing idgf >meet girl >10/10 >DAYUM.jpeg >say hello how are you the usual s--- >get started helping the mum cook >me and her get talking about her daughter >ask what she does all day >she just lies in bed watching t.v. >feels bad man >don't think much other of it though >go in to take her food and to her feed her etc >SHE'S WATCHING DEATH NOTE >we start talking like crazy >discuss other anime >become friends quickly >keep up DoE award >keep talking to her >become very good friends >DOE ends >keep on visiting her after school >go out with her,with her in a wheel chair >go to park and stuff >she's never been outside for a prolonged amount of time >start dating kind of >keep on visiting and helping out >watch anime together for a couple of weeks >get onto angel beats >episode ten >find out Yui was paralyzed >keep quiet >marriage proposal scene >engageovérfeel.png >10/10 girl asks if i would like her more if she could move >tears rolling down face >throw my arms around her >softly say "you are perfect the way you are, don't ever change" that was the first time i ever hugged my wife

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Anon sees the future | /r/Greentext

> be me in 2025 > wake up > brush my teeth > stick government mandated COVID testing toothbrush down my throat for mandatory morning test > be negative 22 KB JPG > old piece of bread and water for breakfast because no more food > go shopping > need to do blood test before entering super market > wait in queue for two hours > super market shelves basically empty because no more supply chain > buy more old bread > bread now costs $299 per loaf because inflation > go to get daily mandatory booster > need to do noon COVID test before getting booster > no more rapid tests, so doctor sticks toothbrush down my throat again > COVID variants ran out of Greek letters in 2022, names now sponsored by companies > test negative for Pepsi Light variant, but have only had seven boosters against new Snickers Extra Crunchy variant > get my eight booster > win booster bingo because this was my 50th vaccination with Pfizer in a row > get free ice cream > haven't had any sweets since the great dairy and sugar shortage began in 2023 > mfw this is literally the best day in years
> be me in 2025 > wake up > brush my teeth > stick government mandated COVID testing toothbrush down my throat for mandatory morning test > be negative 22 KB JPG > old piece of bread and water for breakfast because no more food > go shopping > need to do blood test before entering super market > wait in queue for two hours > super market shelves basically empty because no more supply chain > buy more old bread > bread now costs $299 per loaf because inflation > go to get daily mandatory booster > need to do noon COVID test before getting booster > no more rapid tests, so doctor sticks toothbrush down my throat again > COVID variants ran out of Greek letters in 2022, names now sponsored by companies > test negative for Pepsi Light variant, but have only had seven boosters against new Snickers Extra Crunchy variant > get my eight booster > win booster bingo because this was my 50th vaccination with Pfizer in a row > get free ice cream > haven't had any sweets since the great dairy and sugar shortage began in 2023 > mfw this is literally the best day in years

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Anon deceived by a lady | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 6 hours ago 772881820 >Working graveyard. >Little skank walks in to buy cigs. >She's wearing a thong bottom and a bandana for a top. >She gets Camel 99's, needs matches. >She strolls outside, lit up a smoke. >l follow, light up my own. >Smoking together, like nothing. >She takes off the bandana, and reties it. >Nice t---. >Are you gay Anon? >No lady, I'm liking the show. >That isn't the show, what happens when you lay me down is the show. >Hands me hotel key. >Walks away. >Get off work, head up street to hotel. >Open door to room, she's asleep. >Now what? >Note on TV, take a shower and crawl in naked. >What the hell >Take shower. >Crawl into bed naked, she's naked. >She turned over, not the right girl. >She screams, I run. >Nightly news says young lady got her purse stolen at bar, then attacked by naked man at hotel. >Police sketch sucks, no worries. >Lived in fear for 5years. >Never got popped.
Anonymous 6 hours ago 772881820 >Working graveyard. >Little skank walks in to buy cigs. >She's wearing a thong bottom and a bandana for a top. >She gets Camel 99's, needs matches. >She strolls outside, lit up a smoke. >l follow, light up my own. >Smoking together, like nothing. >She takes off the bandana, and reties it. >Nice t---. >Are you gay Anon? >No lady, I'm liking the show. >That isn't the show, what happens when you lay me down is the show. >Hands me hotel key. >Walks away. >Get off work, head up street to hotel. >Open door to room, she's asleep. >Now what? >Note on TV, take a shower and crawl in naked. >What the hell >Take shower. >Crawl into bed naked, she's naked. >She turned over, not the right girl. >She screams, I run. >Nightly news says young lady got her purse stolen at bar, then attacked by naked man at hotel. >Police sketch sucks, no worries. >Lived in fear for 5years. >Never got popped.

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"It‘s evolving, but backwards" | /r/Greentext

No. 870496006 01/11/22(Tue)23:36:12 57YSZLF.png 95 KB 364x308 >be me >stupid redditfag that browses r/greentext constantly >thinks theyre hilarious >decides to visit 4chan for the first time to see whats up >ffw a week >now addicted to browsing hard p--- and gore with occasional /b/ scroll to laugh at f--- >still only ever lurked, never posted/replied >see stupid dumb ass post about guy wanting to smoke a cigar >try to make a reply calling him a kek and a f----- ni**er >completes captcha >hits "reply" >"you have mistyped the captcha" >try again >try again >keep trying for over a minute, can never get the stupid captcha right >give up 4chans s----- unreadable captcha prevented me from becoming fully corrupted and completing my transition into one of you incels. It allowed me to step back and look at myself. Never going on this site again, f------ f---. 3 replies, 0 images
No. 870496006 01/11/22(Tue)23:36:12 57YSZLF.png 95 KB 364x308 >be me >stupid redditfag that browses r/greentext constantly >thinks theyre hilarious >decides to visit 4chan for the first time to see whats up >ffw a week >now addicted to browsing hard p--- and gore with occasional /b/ scroll to laugh at f--- >still only ever lurked, never posted/replied >see stupid dumb ass post about guy wanting to smoke a cigar >try to make a reply calling him a kek and a f----- ni**er >completes captcha >hits "reply" >"you have mistyped the captcha" >try again >try again >keep trying for over a minute, can never get the stupid captcha right >give up 4chans s----- unreadable captcha prevented me from becoming fully corrupted and completing my transition into one of you incels. It allowed me to step back and look at myself. Never going on this site again, f------ f---. 3 replies, 0 images

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