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Who Was The Wackiest WWII Leader?
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Hitler's suicide
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how /his/aboo are you?
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Plinkett reviews WWI
![File: plinkett.jpg (66 KB, 480x575) O Anonymous 12/28/17(Thu)12:53:34 No.3892710 >3892713 >3892752 >>3892824 >3892869 >3892892 >>3892922 >>3892989 >389336s 3893384 World War the First One was the most disappointing thing since my son. I mean, how much more could you possibly f--- up the entire backstory to World War lI?! And while my son eventually hanged himself in the bathroom of a gas station, the unfortunate reality of the World War 2 prequel is that it's impact will be around... forever. It will never go away. It can never be If some historian who's under the age of like 45 says his least favorite theater in the Second World War is "The Eastern Front" because before I carefully explain how much of a f------ idiot you are. So where do I possibly start? Nothing in WWI makes any sense at all. It comes off like a war directed by a bunch of 8 year olds. It's like Alfred von Schlieffen finished the Schlieffen-Plan in one draft, like turned it in, and Wilhelm decided to go with it without anyone saying that it made no sense at all, or was a stupid, incoherent mess. I guess war effort. He probably got rid of those people that questioned him creatively a long time ago. (Bismarck Steps Down) I also think that everyone just assumed that a European-wide war would be an instant hit, regardless of what the plot was. Really... how hard could it be to screw up? It's like screwin up mashed potatoes. You boil the water, you pour in the packet. undone. it was "the most nonAmericanist one", then I suggest you close this thread off right now at this point who's gonna question Wilhelm, or tell him what to do? He controls every aspect of the German Number 1: The Characters The biggest and most glaring problem with the First World War is the participants. This is like the most obvious part of Grand Strategy, but I guess I gotta explain it when talking about this turd. (Tommy's fall into mud) So let's start at War Making 101 shall we? You see, in most wars the audience needs a country/ruler to connect with. Typically this figure is called a "Pro-ta-gawnist". O Anonymous 12/28/17 (Thu)12:54:19 No.3892713 392719 3892752 3892824 » >3893204 File: plinkett(2).jpg (130 KB, 1280x720) >>3892710 (OP) (cot'd) When you're in a weird war with like Chemicals, and genocide, and weirdos, the /his/ poster really needs someone who's like a normal person like them to guide them through the story. Now this of course doesn't apply to every war, but it works best in the Industrial, Ancient, and Medieval eras. I picked a few examples to illustrate this point: Hannibal I, Pope Urban II, The Byzantines, The PLC, King Gustav, Napoleon, and Rhodesia. So in addition to being like a pretty cool guy, usually the pro... prutugunist is someone that's down on their luck, in a bad position in their war, or someone who everything just doesn't always go perfectly for them. Eventually they'll be confronted with some kind of obstacle or struggle that they gotta deal with. If we like them, we hope they succeed. The drama in the war is the result of us rooting for them against opposition. Eventually our prumurmrurm will find themselves in the lowest point where it seems like all is lost, but eventually they'll pull through and conquer whatever force opposes them [maybe]. It's satisfying when our hero gets ahead from where they started off at. They make like a change. This is called an "Arc". Often too, they'll get to plunder a town in the end as icing on the cake. Now I need to explain that I don't think that all wars should be the same, or conform to the same kind of structure, but it works well in certain kinda wars. So unless you're in the Troubles, The First Congo Civil War, the Second Congo Civil War, the Burmese Civil War you really shouldn't stray away too far from this kind of formula. Especially if you're making a war that's aimed at recruiting peasants, and has half of the Tommy boys in it that step in the muddy. This is all of course completely applicable to the sequel, and the character of Adolf Hitler. This was accomplished even with all the innovative wonders of killing people faster. O Anonymous 12/28/17 (Thu)12:55:21 No.3892719 ► >3892752 3892824 3892922 »3893384 File: plinkett(3).jpg (23 KB, 480x360) >>3892712 (cot'd) Now with all you've just learned, in this thread that I have made for educational purposes, I want you to tell me who the main character of "World War One" is I can tell you it's not anyone from the Entente. They were just on a boring arms race that they didn't really care about. Plus they were f------ boring themselves. It wasn't from the Central Powers either, cuz they were some foreign alliance who the war was certainly not really about specifically either. You might be thinking that it's Ludendorff and Hindenburg, cuz they were generals that tried to turn the tide of the war at the end by accidentally almost winning, but the two don't obtain their power until 2 years into the war. And then the things that are happening around him are pretty much out of their control or understanding. If a protagonist has no concept of what's goin on or what's at stake, then there's no real tension or drama.. without that there's no story. So the conclusion is that there isn't one. Before the movie opened I was really excited to hear that English soldier "Winston Churchill" was going to be playing Winston Churchill. I thought that was a great choice, and he'd be perfect as the leader of this war. But he wasn't really. He just sat on the ship and invaded Gallipoli a lot. So YOU may like the characters, y'know, if you're stupid. O Anonymous 12/29/17(Fri)04:00:07 No.3895006 >>3895010 >>3895598 >>3895632 File: plinkett(4).png (93 KB, 200x265) Ners WRONG >>3892719 (cot'd) Number 2: The Story The second biggest problem with "The First World War" is the whole course of events leading up to the war and the way the battles were fought. It's almost mind boggling how complex the awfulness is. From the very start of this war I could tell something was really wrong. Just by the way it started. It opens with some boring Prince asking for permission to tour in a city that looks like a half-built town in Switzerland but it's in the middle of Bosnia. What the f--- is that?! Then like 5 cloaked figures walk into a pub. They sit down in a conference room, drink vodka, and wait to meet with something that looks like my ex-wife about assasinating the prince. While they eventually do get to the ball-numbing, mindless action that the malaise-striken fan boys crave, I found myself utterly bored already. Compare this fecal matter to the opening of the Second World War. You see, a guy named William Shakesman once said "Brevity is the soul of wit". This just means don't waste my time. You keep it nice and simple. (Wilhelm inspecting his Pickelhaube) I said stop wasting my time... STOP IT! Without saying one word of awkward, boring, political dialogue that goes on for ten minutes, we know everything we need to know just by the visuals. We get a sense of how disorganized and unprepared the Allies were, and how large and powerful the Reich was. The torn down border marks imply invasion, and the swiftness of the tanks imply the long reach of Blitzkrieg. Those opening moments in Poland got the message the world without having to assassinate ONE PRINCE! In fact, this is so genius, I have a feeling that the remaining WWI leadership had nothing to do with it, and probably fought against putting it in the invasion plan. So this comparison of openings is a small example of the overall styles of both wars. O Anonymous 12/29/17(Fri)04:01:06 No.3895010 ► >>3895014 >>3895598 >>3895632 File: Plinklick.gif (1.88 MB, 286x165) >>3895006 (cot'd) The Second World War was was in my 40's. Good vs. Evil, the king on a campaign, the adventurous knight, a country in distress, the wise old courtiers, gay generals, and an epic quest of conquest. modern day homage to the classic and medieval wars of the past. The kind I used to observe when I The previous World War is about shoving as much crap into each front as possible. This is part of the reason why I find the Holocaust so f------ offensive. Cuz you're into what's happening in the war, and they keep shoving more jews into the camps to distract you. It reminds me of a child waving his arms in the background for attention. Doesn't Europe realize that cluttering the war up with s--- is NOT what makes a World War good? So the war is called "The First World War", and by the nature of the premise there is a clear international effort. Why? Hey idiots! You're not making the "United Nations" here. You're making a war to test weapons out on each other, right? (Wilson) "Gentlemen of the Congress: I have called the Congress into extraordinary session because there are serious, very serious, choices of policy to be made, and made immediately, which it was neither right nor constitutionally permissible that I should assume the responsibility of- How 'bout a European speaker who's motivation is clear? (Zech-Burkersroda)" We announce to you the deployment of an enormous German military force. Any resistance is perfectly futile. Germany guarantees the territorial integrity in Europe and Overseas, as well as the dynasty, if any resistance remains absent. The prequel should be very similar in style to the better war, cuz I don't like things that are different. O Anonymous 12/29/17(Fri)04:02:11 No.3895014 23895021 >3895229 >>3895598 >>3895632 File: confusedalcoholic.jpg (410 KB, 1052x950) >>3895010 (cot'd) Number 3: Crime and European Justice So when you find yourself thinking things like "Huh?" or "What?" when you're watching how illogical players act in a war, it's not really a good sign. So at the end of the war Baden makes Germany a "Reich", even though in their old name on maps it says it's a "Reich". So we'll just refer to it as a Reich. People call me a war criminal even though I ain't never been tried yet. So the Serb's are there to do WHAT exactly? According to the some old books it was to demonstrate a rejection of Austro-Hungarian dominionship over the Southern Slavics... o0ohhh. So what makes a bunch of Serbs experts in dispatching royalty? Anyways, the Austro-Hungarians have set up a tribunal without Serbia's help in order to catch the murderers, which instantly causes some kind of crisis that we never see. Usually an assassination is something you want to look into pretty thouroughly. You see we once set up a whole offshoot of the government to investigate two planes killing 3,000 people in New York. It was a little thing called HURRICANE KATRINA! Geez, you stupid people gotta learn your history right. OK.... I don't get it. Why would The Austro-Hungarian Empire wanna purposefully obstruct their own investigation? The point is I'm still not sure what the assassination was supposed to achieve. And don't any of you f****s tell me that it was explained more in the manifesto of some Slavic militia book. What matters is the war. I ain't never read one of them manifestos, or study politics in general for that matter, and I ain't about to start. Don't talk about them stupid video games, or, or novels... comic books or any of that f------ crap. I see enough of that s---. O Anonymous 12/29/17(Fri)04:03:16 No.3895021 2>3895598 2>3895632 File: buddha_plinkett by_obviou(..).png (832 KB, 1024x1439) Give up all desire and be happy, you f---! >>3895014 (cot'd) Anyways... So I realize that Wilhelm was using the Austrians to create a crisis to advance himself politically and militarily. Like that was the plot, I think? But the conflict from the assasination and the subsequent invasion is the ENTIRE WAR! Understanding what role Austria-Hungary played in this is important. You need to know what the assassination was about, who was getting shot, what kinda lineage would've made this so crucial to the Austrian nation? What was it, like the only male heir? Was there some kinda plague? Did they not have the capacity to survive on such a large selection of Hapsburg burnouts, a powerful economy, and a huge army for ONE day without an heir to the throne? You see I would have accepted the idea of some World Wide Warfare if the motivation was at least clear. So when assassins wearing robes went and did their thing, Franzie just assumes they are Black Hand and issues an ultimatum to Serbia. Then somehow this Emperor knows or thinks they are behind it. Hey idiots, so much for the prep work! Even a grief-striken Uncle could call you out. Maybe Serbia wasn't involved, but whatever. So the Aussies immediately inform this German guy that they're running this alliance with – a guy who looks like French pilot- that Serbia is killing their royalty, and of course - so that we can have an endless myriad of action scenes - he tells them to bomb Belgrade. You see they never once went into a diplomatic hall to say "did you kill him" to the Serbs, and that they'll attempt to settle this diplomatically, but they tell Germany that they are attacking. And then they try to shell them to death based solely on the hunch of a few government lackeys. Who's f------ with my medicine?!?!? Anonymous Sun 31 Dec 2017 17:50:17 No.3906831 Report Quoted By: >>3907108 >>3907724 Describe the following World War characters WITHOUT saying what they look like, what kind of uniform they wore, or what their profession or role in the war was. describe this character to your friends like they aint never seen the World War. The more descriptive, the better the character, right? >ADOLF HITLER >Franz Ferdinand. >GEORGE S PATTON >H.H. Asquith...](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/018/153/658.jpg)
![File: plinkett.jpg (66 KB, 480x575) O Anonymous 12/28/17(Thu)12:53:34 No.3892710 >3892713 >3892752 >>3892824 >3892869 >3892892 >>3892922 >>3892989 >389336s 3893384 World War the First One was the most disappointing thing since my son. I mean, how much more could you possibly f--- up the entire backstory to World War lI?! And while my son eventually hanged himself in the bathroom of a gas station, the unfortunate reality of the World War 2 prequel is that it's impact will be around... forever. It will never go away. It can never be If some historian who's under the age of like 45 says his least favorite theater in the Second World War is "The Eastern Front" because before I carefully explain how much of a f------ idiot you are. So where do I possibly start? Nothing in WWI makes any sense at all. It comes off like a war directed by a bunch of 8 year olds. It's like Alfred von Schlieffen finished the Schlieffen-Plan in one draft, like turned it in, and Wilhelm decided to go with it without anyone saying that it made no sense at all, or was a stupid, incoherent mess. I guess war effort. He probably got rid of those people that questioned him creatively a long time ago. (Bismarck Steps Down) I also think that everyone just assumed that a European-wide war would be an instant hit, regardless of what the plot was. Really... how hard could it be to screw up? It's like screwin up mashed potatoes. You boil the water, you pour in the packet. undone. it was "the most nonAmericanist one", then I suggest you close this thread off right now at this point who's gonna question Wilhelm, or tell him what to do? He controls every aspect of the German Number 1: The Characters The biggest and most glaring problem with the First World War is the participants. This is like the most obvious part of Grand Strategy, but I guess I gotta explain it when talking about this turd. (Tommy's fall into mud) So let's start at War Making 101 shall we? You see, in most wars the audience needs a country/ruler to connect with. Typically this figure is called a "Pro-ta-gawnist". O Anonymous 12/28/17 (Thu)12:54:19 No.3892713 392719 3892752 3892824 » >3893204 File: plinkett(2).jpg (130 KB, 1280x720) >>3892710 (OP) (cot'd) When you're in a weird war with like Chemicals, and genocide, and weirdos, the /his/ poster really needs someone who's like a normal person like them to guide them through the story. Now this of course doesn't apply to every war, but it works best in the Industrial, Ancient, and Medieval eras. I picked a few examples to illustrate this point: Hannibal I, Pope Urban II, The Byzantines, The PLC, King Gustav, Napoleon, and Rhodesia. So in addition to being like a pretty cool guy, usually the pro... prutugunist is someone that's down on their luck, in a bad position in their war, or someone who everything just doesn't always go perfectly for them. Eventually they'll be confronted with some kind of obstacle or struggle that they gotta deal with. If we like them, we hope they succeed. The drama in the war is the result of us rooting for them against opposition. Eventually our prumurmrurm will find themselves in the lowest point where it seems like all is lost, but eventually they'll pull through and conquer whatever force opposes them [maybe]. It's satisfying when our hero gets ahead from where they started off at. They make like a change. This is called an "Arc". Often too, they'll get to plunder a town in the end as icing on the cake. Now I need to explain that I don't think that all wars should be the same, or conform to the same kind of structure, but it works well in certain kinda wars. So unless you're in the Troubles, The First Congo Civil War, the Second Congo Civil War, the Burmese Civil War you really shouldn't stray away too far from this kind of formula. Especially if you're making a war that's aimed at recruiting peasants, and has half of the Tommy boys in it that step in the muddy. This is all of course completely applicable to the sequel, and the character of Adolf Hitler. This was accomplished even with all the innovative wonders of killing people faster. O Anonymous 12/28/17 (Thu)12:55:21 No.3892719 ► >3892752 3892824 3892922 »3893384 File: plinkett(3).jpg (23 KB, 480x360) >>3892712 (cot'd) Now with all you've just learned, in this thread that I have made for educational purposes, I want you to tell me who the main character of "World War One" is I can tell you it's not anyone from the Entente. They were just on a boring arms race that they didn't really care about. Plus they were f------ boring themselves. It wasn't from the Central Powers either, cuz they were some foreign alliance who the war was certainly not really about specifically either. You might be thinking that it's Ludendorff and Hindenburg, cuz they were generals that tried to turn the tide of the war at the end by accidentally almost winning, but the two don't obtain their power until 2 years into the war. And then the things that are happening around him are pretty much out of their control or understanding. If a protagonist has no concept of what's goin on or what's at stake, then there's no real tension or drama.. without that there's no story. So the conclusion is that there isn't one. Before the movie opened I was really excited to hear that English soldier "Winston Churchill" was going to be playing Winston Churchill. I thought that was a great choice, and he'd be perfect as the leader of this war. But he wasn't really. He just sat on the ship and invaded Gallipoli a lot. So YOU may like the characters, y'know, if you're stupid. O Anonymous 12/29/17(Fri)04:00:07 No.3895006 >>3895010 >>3895598 >>3895632 File: plinkett(4).png (93 KB, 200x265) Ners WRONG >>3892719 (cot'd) Number 2: The Story The second biggest problem with "The First World War" is the whole course of events leading up to the war and the way the battles were fought. It's almost mind boggling how complex the awfulness is. From the very start of this war I could tell something was really wrong. Just by the way it started. It opens with some boring Prince asking for permission to tour in a city that looks like a half-built town in Switzerland but it's in the middle of Bosnia. What the f--- is that?! Then like 5 cloaked figures walk into a pub. They sit down in a conference room, drink vodka, and wait to meet with something that looks like my ex-wife about assasinating the prince. While they eventually do get to the ball-numbing, mindless action that the malaise-striken fan boys crave, I found myself utterly bored already. Compare this fecal matter to the opening of the Second World War. You see, a guy named William Shakesman once said "Brevity is the soul of wit". This just means don't waste my time. You keep it nice and simple. (Wilhelm inspecting his Pickelhaube) I said stop wasting my time... STOP IT! Without saying one word of awkward, boring, political dialogue that goes on for ten minutes, we know everything we need to know just by the visuals. We get a sense of how disorganized and unprepared the Allies were, and how large and powerful the Reich was. The torn down border marks imply invasion, and the swiftness of the tanks imply the long reach of Blitzkrieg. Those opening moments in Poland got the message the world without having to assassinate ONE PRINCE! In fact, this is so genius, I have a feeling that the remaining WWI leadership had nothing to do with it, and probably fought against putting it in the invasion plan. So this comparison of openings is a small example of the overall styles of both wars. O Anonymous 12/29/17(Fri)04:01:06 No.3895010 ► >>3895014 >>3895598 >>3895632 File: Plinklick.gif (1.88 MB, 286x165) >>3895006 (cot'd) The Second World War was was in my 40's. Good vs. Evil, the king on a campaign, the adventurous knight, a country in distress, the wise old courtiers, gay generals, and an epic quest of conquest. modern day homage to the classic and medieval wars of the past. The kind I used to observe when I The previous World War is about shoving as much crap into each front as possible. This is part of the reason why I find the Holocaust so f------ offensive. Cuz you're into what's happening in the war, and they keep shoving more jews into the camps to distract you. It reminds me of a child waving his arms in the background for attention. Doesn't Europe realize that cluttering the war up with s--- is NOT what makes a World War good? So the war is called "The First World War", and by the nature of the premise there is a clear international effort. Why? Hey idiots! You're not making the "United Nations" here. You're making a war to test weapons out on each other, right? (Wilson) "Gentlemen of the Congress: I have called the Congress into extraordinary session because there are serious, very serious, choices of policy to be made, and made immediately, which it was neither right nor constitutionally permissible that I should assume the responsibility of- How 'bout a European speaker who's motivation is clear? (Zech-Burkersroda)" We announce to you the deployment of an enormous German military force. Any resistance is perfectly futile. Germany guarantees the territorial integrity in Europe and Overseas, as well as the dynasty, if any resistance remains absent. The prequel should be very similar in style to the better war, cuz I don't like things that are different. O Anonymous 12/29/17(Fri)04:02:11 No.3895014 23895021 >3895229 >>3895598 >>3895632 File: confusedalcoholic.jpg (410 KB, 1052x950) >>3895010 (cot'd) Number 3: Crime and European Justice So when you find yourself thinking things like "Huh?" or "What?" when you're watching how illogical players act in a war, it's not really a good sign. So at the end of the war Baden makes Germany a "Reich", even though in their old name on maps it says it's a "Reich". So we'll just refer to it as a Reich. People call me a war criminal even though I ain't never been tried yet. So the Serb's are there to do WHAT exactly? According to the some old books it was to demonstrate a rejection of Austro-Hungarian dominionship over the Southern Slavics... o0ohhh. So what makes a bunch of Serbs experts in dispatching royalty? Anyways, the Austro-Hungarians have set up a tribunal without Serbia's help in order to catch the murderers, which instantly causes some kind of crisis that we never see. Usually an assassination is something you want to look into pretty thouroughly. You see we once set up a whole offshoot of the government to investigate two planes killing 3,000 people in New York. It was a little thing called HURRICANE KATRINA! Geez, you stupid people gotta learn your history right. OK.... I don't get it. Why would The Austro-Hungarian Empire wanna purposefully obstruct their own investigation? The point is I'm still not sure what the assassination was supposed to achieve. And don't any of you f****s tell me that it was explained more in the manifesto of some Slavic militia book. What matters is the war. I ain't never read one of them manifestos, or study politics in general for that matter, and I ain't about to start. Don't talk about them stupid video games, or, or novels... comic books or any of that f------ crap. I see enough of that s---. O Anonymous 12/29/17(Fri)04:03:16 No.3895021 2>3895598 2>3895632 File: buddha_plinkett by_obviou(..).png (832 KB, 1024x1439) Give up all desire and be happy, you f---! >>3895014 (cot'd) Anyways... So I realize that Wilhelm was using the Austrians to create a crisis to advance himself politically and militarily. Like that was the plot, I think? But the conflict from the assasination and the subsequent invasion is the ENTIRE WAR! Understanding what role Austria-Hungary played in this is important. You need to know what the assassination was about, who was getting shot, what kinda lineage would've made this so crucial to the Austrian nation? What was it, like the only male heir? Was there some kinda plague? Did they not have the capacity to survive on such a large selection of Hapsburg burnouts, a powerful economy, and a huge army for ONE day without an heir to the throne? You see I would have accepted the idea of some World Wide Warfare if the motivation was at least clear. So when assassins wearing robes went and did their thing, Franzie just assumes they are Black Hand and issues an ultimatum to Serbia. Then somehow this Emperor knows or thinks they are behind it. Hey idiots, so much for the prep work! Even a grief-striken Uncle could call you out. Maybe Serbia wasn't involved, but whatever. So the Aussies immediately inform this German guy that they're running this alliance with – a guy who looks like French pilot- that Serbia is killing their royalty, and of course - so that we can have an endless myriad of action scenes - he tells them to bomb Belgrade. You see they never once went into a diplomatic hall to say "did you kill him" to the Serbs, and that they'll attempt to settle this diplomatically, but they tell Germany that they are attacking. And then they try to shell them to death based solely on the hunch of a few government lackeys. Who's f------ with my medicine?!?!? Anonymous Sun 31 Dec 2017 17:50:17 No.3906831 Report Quoted By: >>3907108 >>3907724 Describe the following World War characters WITHOUT saying what they look like, what kind of uniform they wore, or what their profession or role in the war was. describe this character to your friends like they aint never seen the World War. The more descriptive, the better the character, right? >ADOLF HITLER >Franz Ferdinand. >GEORGE S PATTON >H.H. Asquith...](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/018/153/658.jpg)
/his/
Great Fire of Rome
/his/
The Assassination of Lincoln
/his/
The Great Lad himself
/his/
FPBP
/his/
Henry VIII over Earth
/his/
Henry VIII executing his wife Catherine
/his/
United States Presidents
/his/
Gaius & Aulus - Bros 4 Life
/his/
