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(805) :We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"

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(334): We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, made it homell Aren't you proudP?I

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714) l think my hookupis starting to fallfor me Time to break his heart.

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(641): If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.

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(306): woah! Who said he's my boyfriend? (1-306): Ooops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina. Gfoba

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(361) I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body

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614): Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?

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4161: He said he has something to givemeIswear to God if it's ajoint or a framed picture ofhis penis i'm going to kill him

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(573): OH IF WE HAVE SEX IN PUBLIC NO ONE WILL FROWN UPON IT. THEY WILL STAND AND CHEER FOR IT

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(952): First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.

Texts From Last Night (TFLN)
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[5191: Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay

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(814) My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The sudqge looked at me. It echoed. textsfromkeanuspawn@tumblr

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(9 Twice. Of course Im going to be her wing gi 17: She's posted my bail. I.

Texts From Last Night (TFLN)
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(860): people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so I told him I was an emt and bandage it with princess bandaids

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(603):I AM NOT THE MANINTIS RECATIONSHTP. (1-603): It's s--- like thís that makes people think we're gay

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omebackand help me drink our beer the fridgehasroom for the other beers

Texts From Last Night (TFLN)
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(90 It's a journey And the destination is his penis? (1-907): 907) recisely.

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(517): I learned so much about myself in that shower.

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d recommend you thatlevel ofcrazy to the experts hbe leave d start with an under appreciated soccer momif I were you

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(519): Worst thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing

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