/tg/ - Images

Sorted By:

Blue and Zizzbitz

tau ork squig warhammer 40000 wh 40k fan art fan fiction looted tau grot 4chan

Praise the Omnissiah

Dr. Baron von Evilsatan 03/06/11(Sun)19:32 No.14152958 File1299457955.jpg-(15 KB, 401x311, 1242208804696.jpg) >>Middle of OH MY F--- season for postgraduate law, 250% of assignments due >>Have been typing like the Fist of the North Star for three weeks >>Three days since last I slept voluntarily >>Everything due tomorrow >>Massive storm outside complements mood perfectly >>7000 of 8000 words done one final assignment, all the rest will basically write itself >>Sit back and relax, exhale >>LIGHTNING BOLT >>WINDOW SHAKING >>Computer makes that 'gwoo' shotdown noise and blacks out >>Distinct smell of burning electricals >>Very slowly reach for power button; fails to work >>Reset every circuit in the house twice, get power back online to exactly one plug >>Find powerboards, move entire rig to working hallway plug >>Still won't work >>FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF FFFFFFFFF >>Take apart EVERYTHING >>Plug everything into everything else >>Everything is fine except the power supply >>The power supply is completely fried and slightly molten >>Review options; all none of them >>Panic worse >>Scream out of a window >>Desperate times call for fanatical measures >>Acquire book of hymns in Latin >>Lay computer flat on table in hallway, draw runic circle around it with blue chalk >>Etch sigil of the Ommissiah, begin chanting hymns >>Continue hymns while plugging everything back in and putting it all in place >>Ring tiny bell three times, chant 'Awaken, great one', press power button >>WHAT THE F--- >>ITS WORKING NOW >>Computer is still working to this day

Dr. Baron von Evilsatan 03/06/11(Sun)19:32 No.14152958 File1299457955.jpg-(15 KB, 401x311, 1242208804696.jpg) >>Middle of OH MY F--- season for postgraduate law, 250% of assignments due >>Have been typing like the Fist of the North Star for three weeks >>Three days since last I slept voluntarily >>Everything due tomorrow >>Massive storm outside complements mood perfectly >>7000 of 8000 words done one final assignment, all the rest will basically write itself >>Sit back and relax, exhale >>LIGHTNING BOLT >>WINDOW SHAKING >>Computer makes that 'gwoo' shotdown noise and blacks out >>Distinct smell of burning electricals >>Very slowly reach for power button; fails to work >>Reset every circuit in the house twice, get power back online to exactly one plug >>Find powerboards, move entire rig to working hallway plug >>Still won't work >>FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF FFFFFFFFF >>Take apart EVERYTHING >>Plug everything into everything else >>Everything is fine except the power supply >>The power supply is completely fried and slightly molten >>Review options; all none of them >>Panic worse >>Scream out of a window >>Desperate times call for fanatical measures >>Acquire book of hymns in Latin >>Lay computer flat on table in hallway, draw runic circle around it with blue chalk >>Etch sigil of the Ommissiah, begin chanting hymns >>Continue hymns while plugging everything back in and putting it all in place >>Ring tiny bell three times, chant 'Awaken, great one', press power button >>WHAT THE F--- >>ITS WORKING NOW >>Computer is still working to this day

green text irl computer omnissiah ritual occultism adeptus mechanicus 4chan computer repair tech priest

Well...that was certainly distracting.

O Anonymous 09/22/11(Thu)21:41 No.16391478 File1316742104.png-(62 KB, 219x221, kirbyomg.png) OH MY GOSH >Party in a city-based 4e D&D game are sneaking into a steampunk newspaper company to replace a (true) story that might cast their party in a negative light >They are a cockney child rogue, a human pitfighter, and a gnome artificer who totes around a magical tome of his family's history that is also an encyclopedia, that also acts as a focus for all his (refluffed) spells >Thief on sneaking, story swapping detail >Gnome on distraction, pitfighter on mop-up >Gnome enters through the front door, LOUDLY >Starts LOUDLY talking to receptionist about how he wants his family history printed in the paper >Slams tome down on desk >"The GREAT HISTORY of the vonSpielhelm family shall not be unabridgedl" >1, the DM, ask him to roll bluff. He INSISTS that this is a diplomacy roll. I yield to logic. >He does fairly well. >The secretary decides, to humor him, she'll flip through the book >The book which acts as a focus for his offensive spells >Dice are rolled. >She opens up the book to "C" for "Cannon" >Half a second later, the receptionist is sans-head, all the writers, clerics, and pencil-pushers are running screaming out of the building, and the gnome is the best distraction ever >hfw

O Anonymous 09/22/11(Thu)21:41 No.16391478 File1316742104.png-(62 KB, 219x221, kirbyomg.png) OH MY GOSH >Party in a city-based 4e D&D game are sneaking into a steampunk newspaper company to replace a (true) story that might cast their party in a negative light >They are a cockney child rogue, a human pitfighter, and a gnome artificer who totes around a magical tome of his family's history that is also an encyclopedia, that also acts as a focus for all his (refluffed) spells >Thief on sneaking, story swapping detail >Gnome on distraction, pitfighter on mop-up >Gnome enters through the front door, LOUDLY >Starts LOUDLY talking to receptionist about how he wants his family history printed in the paper >Slams tome down on desk >"The GREAT HISTORY of the vonSpielhelm family shall not be unabridgedl" >1, the DM, ask him to roll bluff. He INSISTS that this is a diplomacy roll. I yield to logic. >He does fairly well. >The secretary decides, to humor him, she'll flip through the book >The book which acts as a focus for his offensive spells >Dice are rolled. >She opens up the book to "C" for "Cannon" >Half a second later, the receptionist is sans-head, all the writers, clerics, and pencil-pushers are running screaming out of the building, and the gnome is the best distraction ever >hfw

d&d dungeons and dragons green text gnome newspaper printers concealed carry cannon tome magic book 4chan

Get Dat Fooken Mammoth

I find it hilarious that the main reason we started to dominate the planet is by being stubborn. "Aw, the mammoth got away." "Like f------ hell it did. WE are going to follow it and kill it." "What if it goes really far" "WE ARE GOING TO FOLLOW IT AND KILL IT."

I find it hilarious that the main reason we started to dominate the planet is by being stubborn. "Aw, the mammoth got away." "Like f------ hell it did. WE are going to follow it and kill it." "What if it goes really far" "WE ARE GOING TO FOLLOW IT AND KILL IT."

4chan mammoth humanity dominance ancient man

Drowunder

O Anonymous 12/15/20(Tue)21:19:29 No.76480503 >>76485698 File: drowunder.jpg (163 KB, 1280x825) CRIKGY YA FockiN Lost OR SUMMIN MAE? >>76479443 (OP) >Australians and Drow >They both live down under. >They both have highly poisonous spiders. >Their roots come from being pushed away by society.

O Anonymous 12/15/20(Tue)21:19:29 No.76480503 >>76485698 File: drowunder.jpg (163 KB, 1280x825) CRIKGY YA FockiN Lost OR SUMMIN MAE? >>76479443 (OP) >Australians and Drow >They both live down under. >They both have highly poisonous spiders. >Their roots come from being pushed away by society.

australia australian drow dark elf dark elves giant poisonous spiders greentext

HURRY THE FUCK UP AND GET IN!

Get in the f------ bag!?

Get in the f------ bag!?

4chan the bag inside joke get in the bag death grim reaper trash bag garbage bag

Bioweapon Monsters

O Anonymous 10/07/20(Wed)14:19:34 No.75294889 > >>75294995 >>75320648 >>75294821 (OP) Why would you even give your giant monster sexual characteristics? If it's the only one, it's not going to reproduce, the d---'s just wasted energy. O Anonymous 10/07/20(Wed)14:26:10 No.75294995 >75295041 >>75302030 >>75294889 Why would they not reproduce? Why would I not want more? The US didn't stop making nukes after the war, just like how I won't stop making bioweapons after taking over the world. O Anonymous 10/07/20(Wed)14:29:03 No.75295041 >75295101 >>75295175 >>75294995 Yes, but you can make them the way you made the first one: Controlled, in a tube, with the latest upgrades. Uncontrolled reproduction is how you end up with a few hundred wild bioweapons. Furthermore, ones busy reproducing aren't doing their job of destroying all who oppose you. O Anonymous 10/07/20(Wed)14:32:34 No.75295101 >75295173 >>75301621 YOU CAN REWRITE DNA ON THE FLY, AND YOU'RE USING >>75295041 TO TURN PEOPLE DINOSAURS? BUT WITH TECH LIKE THAT, Allowing them the ability to reproduce whilst programming them to perceive me as their parent/original progenitor is the ultimate means to have an unstoppable army of the most loyal followers imaginable AT. YOU COULD CURE CANCER! O Anonymous 10/07/20(Wed)14:36:25 No.75295173 >>75295218 >>75295263 >>75295835 >>75317015 >>75295101 Then suddenly you die because of a freak accident and your army of breeding bioweapons proceed to sweep over the world and annihilate all life in your name, all because you were dumb enough to create a self-propagating bioweapon. O Anonymous 10/07/20(Wed)14:36:27 No.75295175 >>75295378 >>75295041 >implying my bioweapons aren't controlled via pheromones >implying I don't want there to be shitloads of bioweapons out in the wild so the world is forced to rely on me to control them >implying I care about any potential collateral damage BUT I DON'T WANT TO CURE CANCER. I WANT TO TURN PEOPLE INTO DINOSAURS. O Anonymous 10/07/20(Wed)14:46:55 No.75295378 >>75295436 >>75295175 >dies as collateral damage for a shitload of rampaging bio weapons when the heroes disable the pheromone controller. O Anonymous 10/07/20(Wed)14:38:32 No.75295218 ► >>75295173 I'm a mad scientist. Why would I care what happens to the world after I'm dead? S---, my bioweapons destroying the world after I die is great, that means l've denied some other schmuck his chance to take over the world, which is hilarious. O Anonymous 10/07/20(Wed)14:50:11 No.75295436 >>75295935 >>75310914 >>75295378 Well then the heroes can just go ahead and cry over the spilt milk that is the impending destruction of civilization while I smugly decompose in their general direction. Anonymous 10/08/20(Thu)11:44:58 No.75310914 >>75295436 This man understands how to villian correctly.

O Anonymous 10/07/20(Wed)14:19:34 No.75294889 > >>75294995 >>75320648 >>75294821 (OP) Why would you even give your giant monster sexual characteristics? If it's the only one, it's not going to reproduce, the d---'s just wasted energy. O Anonymous 10/07/20(Wed)14:26:10 No.75294995 >75295041 >>75302030 >>75294889 Why would they not reproduce? Why would I not want more? The US didn't stop making nukes after the war, just like how I won't stop making bioweapons after taking over the world. O Anonymous 10/07/20(Wed)14:29:03 No.75295041 >75295101 >>75295175 >>75294995 Yes, but you can make them the way you made the first one: Controlled, in a tube, with the latest upgrades. Uncontrolled reproduction is how you end up with a few hundred wild bioweapons. Furthermore, ones busy reproducing aren't doing their job of destroying all who oppose you. O Anonymous 10/07/20(Wed)14:32:34 No.75295101 >75295173 >>75301621 YOU CAN REWRITE DNA ON THE FLY, AND YOU'RE USING >>75295041 TO TURN PEOPLE DINOSAURS? BUT WITH TECH LIKE THAT, Allowing them the ability to reproduce whilst programming them to perceive me as their parent/original progenitor is the ultimate means to have an unstoppable army of the most loyal followers imaginable AT. YOU COULD CURE CANCER! O Anonymous 10/07/20(Wed)14:36:25 No.75295173 >>75295218 >>75295263 >>75295835 >>75317015 >>75295101 Then suddenly you die because of a freak accident and your army of breeding bioweapons proceed to sweep over the world and annihilate all life in your name, all because you were dumb enough to create a self-propagating bioweapon. O Anonymous 10/07/20(Wed)14:36:27 No.75295175 >>75295378 >>75295041 >implying my bioweapons aren't controlled via pheromones >implying I don't want there to be shitloads of bioweapons out in the wild so the world is forced to rely on me to control them >implying I care about any potential collateral damage BUT I DON'T WANT TO CURE CANCER. I WANT TO TURN PEOPLE INTO DINOSAURS. O Anonymous 10/07/20(Wed)14:46:55 No.75295378 >>75295436 >>75295175 >dies as collateral damage for a shitload of rampaging bio weapons when the heroes disable the pheromone controller. O Anonymous 10/07/20(Wed)14:38:32 No.75295218 ► >>75295173 I'm a mad scientist. Why would I care what happens to the world after I'm dead? S---, my bioweapons destroying the world after I die is great, that means l've denied some other schmuck his chance to take over the world, which is hilarious. O Anonymous 10/07/20(Wed)14:50:11 No.75295436 >>75295935 >>75310914 >>75295378 Well then the heroes can just go ahead and cry over the spilt milk that is the impending destruction of civilization while I smugly decompose in their general direction. Anonymous 10/08/20(Thu)11:44:58 No.75310914 >>75295436 This man understands how to villian correctly.

weyland-yutani umbrella corporation but i don't want to cure cancer scott westerfeld's leviathan trilogy jem'hadar how to villain correctly supervillain

Anon learns to fear The Clown

>>O Glutton 10/11/10(Mon)10:11 No.12406881 I'm usually a chemist, and me and my brother like to play one the same server at the same time. His friend from England was also there, Me and my bro were Chemists, he was an assistant we let in because why the f--- not? >Start mixing chemicals, I am very good at it. >Create thermite, can't figure out how to light it on fire so give up. >My brother starts cranking out space drugs naming the pills "Strength Pill", go and leave them around the station >l make space drugs, because why the hell not? >Take one, start tripping balls. Take a unstable mutagen pill as well. >Become blind, Have seizures, develop Tourettes. pecome >Station wonders why I keep screaming "PISS" "T---" "M-----------" into the radio. >Traitor comes out out nowhere, shoots me in the back of the head. >Cloned, Mutations still exist. oloned >Cures developed myself, hard to do because I keep shouting random s--- and flailing my arms around. >Get bored and start injected random people with it. Make the clown blind and deaf. >He hunts me like a ghost, shooting syringes at me. he >Get hit by one, It says "You feel strange" >Beat him and start to strangle him screaming "WHAT WAS IN THAT NEEDLE?" >"It was a Suuurpriise!" >Forced to run before killing him cause Security shows up. >Cont. >O Glutton 10/11/10(Mon)10:16 No.12406914 >>12406881 >Every damn piece of glass I look at, the clown is behind it. I think I even saw him in space one time. >Extremely Paranoid, singularity is loose and toxins is on fire. Shuttle called. >Started to make my way towards shuttle >HONK HONK HONK >JESUS CHRIST WHERE THE F--- IS HE? >Start to run towards the shuttle, slip on a banana peel. >Bastard comes out of nowhere, rips the VISOR goggles off my head (I Never cured my blindness, it's hard to cure the effects of unstable mutagens.) >Clicking randomly with my air tank, I hit the floor and wall as well as myself a few times. But never hit the clown. >Slowly strangled to death as he honked that f------ horn of his.

>>O Glutton 10/11/10(Mon)10:11 No.12406881 I'm usually a chemist, and me and my brother like to play one the same server at the same time. His friend from England was also there, Me and my bro were Chemists, he was an assistant we let in because why the f--- not? >Start mixing chemicals, I am very good at it. >Create thermite, can't figure out how to light it on fire so give up. >My brother starts cranking out space drugs naming the pills "Strength Pill", go and leave them around the station >l make space drugs, because why the hell not? >Take one, start tripping balls. Take a unstable mutagen pill as well. >Become blind, Have seizures, develop Tourettes. pecome >Station wonders why I keep screaming "PISS" "T---" "M-----------" into the radio. >Traitor comes out out nowhere, shoots me in the back of the head. >Cloned, Mutations still exist. oloned >Cures developed myself, hard to do because I keep shouting random s--- and flailing my arms around. >Get bored and start injected random people with it. Make the clown blind and deaf. >He hunts me like a ghost, shooting syringes at me. he >Get hit by one, It says "You feel strange" >Beat him and start to strangle him screaming "WHAT WAS IN THAT NEEDLE?" >"It was a Suuurpriise!" >Forced to run before killing him cause Security shows up. >Cont. >O Glutton 10/11/10(Mon)10:16 No.12406914 >>12406881 >Every damn piece of glass I look at, the clown is behind it. I think I even saw him in space one time. >Extremely Paranoid, singularity is loose and toxins is on fire. Shuttle called. >Started to make my way towards shuttle >HONK HONK HONK >JESUS CHRIST WHERE THE F--- IS HE? >Start to run towards the shuttle, slip on a banana peel. >Bastard comes out of nowhere, rips the VISOR goggles off my head (I Never cured my blindness, it's hard to cure the effects of unstable mutagens.) >Clicking randomly with my air tank, I hit the floor and wall as well as myself a few times. But never hit the clown. >Slowly strangled to death as he honked that f------ horn of his.

space station 13 ss13 honk clown drugs mutagen 4chan paranoia chemist geneticist

Ham Sammich finds the cure for cancer

I Anonymous 10/09/13(Wed)19:42 UTC-4 No.27664856 O Replies: >>27664972 >>27665129 >>27664677 You were? Am I remembering another clusterfuck, or was Ham Sammich involved in that one? Because, and I mean no insult to you or the rest of Sec when I say this, that m----------- was the epitome of the harassed Sec Officer that just wanted to get through the day but couldn't because there was just too much violence that he had to dish out to keep people from killing each other. He joined me as a Medical Doctor, once. I may have known the chemistry system a little better than he did, but he knew what he wanted to do to everyone. >Give him the introductory education on the Medical Wing >Leave him alone for a little while >Start the business of healing >Come back to see how Ham's doing with the guy that had the flu >Flu Guy is handcuffed, strait-jacketed, muzzled and trapped on the bed >One other quy is in the same condition >You say, "The f---?" >Ham returns with a locker >Ham Sammich says, "Uh. Hi." >You say, "Whatcha doing, Ham?" >He opens the locker and a pile of people pour out of it, all snoring from Chloral Hydrate and Sleep toxin >Ham Sammich says, "Curing cancer." >Feel a slight twinge of fear, despite the fact that I am separated by an unknown distance and a computer screen from this man >You say, "Carry on." >Run away >Come back later, the entire sick bay is full of people that have been strapped to the beds and kept in place with anesthesia tanks

I Anonymous 10/09/13(Wed)19:42 UTC-4 No.27664856 O Replies: >>27664972 >>27665129 >>27664677 You were? Am I remembering another clusterfuck, or was Ham Sammich involved in that one? Because, and I mean no insult to you or the rest of Sec when I say this, that m----------- was the epitome of the harassed Sec Officer that just wanted to get through the day but couldn't because there was just too much violence that he had to dish out to keep people from killing each other. He joined me as a Medical Doctor, once. I may have known the chemistry system a little better than he did, but he knew what he wanted to do to everyone. >Give him the introductory education on the Medical Wing >Leave him alone for a little while >Start the business of healing >Come back to see how Ham's doing with the guy that had the flu >Flu Guy is handcuffed, strait-jacketed, muzzled and trapped on the bed >One other quy is in the same condition >You say, "The f---?" >Ham returns with a locker >Ham Sammich says, "Uh. Hi." >You say, "Whatcha doing, Ham?" >He opens the locker and a pile of people pour out of it, all snoring from Chloral Hydrate and Sleep toxin >Ham Sammich says, "Curing cancer." >Feel a slight twinge of fear, despite the fact that I am separated by an unknown distance and a computer screen from this man >You say, "Carry on." >Run away >Come back later, the entire sick bay is full of people that have been strapped to the beds and kept in place with anesthesia tanks

space station 13 ss13 medical officer doctor cancer 4chan chemist security medic

Anon mops the floors

Anonymous 04/27/14(Sun)21:25:32 No.31771536 2>31771810 >first ever SS13 game >Play janitor >Run a clean ship >Mop ALL the floors >People whining that they keep slipping. >Put up a wet floor sign and tell them to get over it. >People keep bitching that they're sliding. >Mops busy corridors to spite people. Put wet floor sign up. >More bitching, people stop using corridor. >Change corridors. Clown walks by and slides into a wall, knocks self out. >Help him up. He hits me with a fire extinguisher and walks off. >l wake up and keep mopping. >Captain walks by and slides into same all. Knocks self out. >Accidentally grab captain, can't figure out how to drop him. >Somehow end up throwing captain into trash compactor. Don't loot his keycard because I don't know how. Captain dies. >Half hour later, ship is in panic mode because no one knows where the captain is >l mop the floors

Anonymous 04/27/14(Sun)21:25:32 No.31771536 2>31771810 >first ever SS13 game >Play janitor >Run a clean ship >Mop ALL the floors >People whining that they keep slipping. >Put up a wet floor sign and tell them to get over it. >People keep bitching that they're sliding. >Mops busy corridors to spite people. Put wet floor sign up. >More bitching, people stop using corridor. >Change corridors. Clown walks by and slides into a wall, knocks self out. >Help him up. He hits me with a fire extinguisher and walks off. >l wake up and keep mopping. >Captain walks by and slides into same all. Knocks self out. >Accidentally grab captain, can't figure out how to drop him. >Somehow end up throwing captain into trash compactor. Don't loot his keycard because I don't know how. Captain dies. >Half hour later, ship is in panic mode because no one knows where the captain is >l mop the floors

4chan space station 13 ss13 janitor captain trash compactor clown greentext mop

/tg/ debates mass legalisation of recreational necromancy

O Anonymous 04/24/14(Thu)22:30:51 No.31699951 ► >>31700023 >>31699796 Dude the weight on mummies is f------ rigged i swear. I raised two the other day and they were full of f------ sand! Plus all that b------- wrap is always artificial and crappy, and those suckers burn like nothin else. Buncha villager teenagers lit them up shouting "BLAZE IT!" Don't they know that s--- is a medical need? O Anonymous 04/24/14(Thu)22:36:00 No.31700044 O Anonymous 04/24/14(Thu)22:31:20 No.31699957 ► >>31700044 File: Dank Arcane.png (738 KB, 900x563) >>31699957 God damn kids and their recreational magic usage WHO'S ON THAT GOOD PURPLE ARCANE? O Anonymous 04/24/14(Thu)22:31:49 No.31699967 ► »31699997 >31700022 Listen, I'm fine with a little necromancy every now and then for laughs with the guys, but if its legal it will be a whole new ball game. Do you realize that kids could get ahold of it and start resurrecting an army of dead goldfish? Think of them.

O Anonymous 04/24/14(Thu)22:30:51 No.31699951 ► >>31700023 >>31699796 Dude the weight on mummies is f------ rigged i swear. I raised two the other day and they were full of f------ sand! Plus all that b------- wrap is always artificial and crappy, and those suckers burn like nothin else. Buncha villager teenagers lit them up shouting "BLAZE IT!" Don't they know that s--- is a medical need? O Anonymous 04/24/14(Thu)22:36:00 No.31700044 O Anonymous 04/24/14(Thu)22:31:20 No.31699957 ► >>31700044 File: Dank Arcane.png (738 KB, 900x563) >>31699957 God damn kids and their recreational magic usage WHO'S ON THAT GOOD PURPLE ARCANE? O Anonymous 04/24/14(Thu)22:31:49 No.31699967 ► »31699997 >31700022 Listen, I'm fine with a little necromancy every now and then for laughs with the guys, but if its legal it will be a whole new ball game. Do you realize that kids could get ahold of it and start resurrecting an army of dead goldfish? Think of them.

necromancer goldfish mummies blaze it magic necromancy undead 4chan weed parody

Anon's First Exorcism

O Anonymous Mon Apr 28 06:07:55 2014 No.31772599 Quoted by: >>31772856 >>31775015 >>31772351 >Be chaplain >Want to play a nonessential, RP role because I want to take the round easy and be semi-afk while I chat with people. >Get messaged by head of security >CULT ROUND! >Suddenly I'm MVP as I'm the only one who can deprogram cultists. >Need to go to brig to do exactly that. >Have never read the manual on chaplain. Have no idea w-- I'm doing. >Gather all my supplies and arrive in brig to find HOS and a prisoner cuffed to the chair. >HOS tells me to deprogram him >0-Okay.. >He leaves the room. >I figure the best way to succeed would be to use each of my tools as trial and error. >Start hitting him with the Bible until he's mentally retarded. >He starts screaming bloody murder, but his comm headset was taken away so no one can hear him. >He manages to uncuff from the chair and starts running around the room trying to evade me. >I catch him. >I take him to the bedroom and chain him to the bed. >Start beating him with the null rod until he's bloody. >Force-feed him about a gallon of holy water. >Figure that should have done the trick, ask him "Do you feel the love of Space Jesus yet?" >"F--- YOU" he replies >Keep beating him with the null rod. >HOS walks in and sees the bloody prisoner chained to the bed. >"WHAT THE F--- ARE YOU DOING!??" >He releases the prisoner, but not long after, 2 more prisoners are brought in. >Continue deprogramming them in a similar manner. >Eventually one of them escapes from the chair and starts running around the cell. >He takes off his pants and s---- on the floor. >Slip on the s---. >Get beaten to death by the null rod. Do you feel the love of Space నెలుUS Yet F--- YOU

O Anonymous Mon Apr 28 06:07:55 2014 No.31772599 Quoted by: >>31772856 >>31775015 >>31772351 >Be chaplain >Want to play a nonessential, RP role because I want to take the round easy and be semi-afk while I chat with people. >Get messaged by head of security >CULT ROUND! >Suddenly I'm MVP as I'm the only one who can deprogram cultists. >Need to go to brig to do exactly that. >Have never read the manual on chaplain. Have no idea w-- I'm doing. >Gather all my supplies and arrive in brig to find HOS and a prisoner cuffed to the chair. >HOS tells me to deprogram him >0-Okay.. >He leaves the room. >I figure the best way to succeed would be to use each of my tools as trial and error. >Start hitting him with the Bible until he's mentally retarded. >He starts screaming bloody murder, but his comm headset was taken away so no one can hear him. >He manages to uncuff from the chair and starts running around the room trying to evade me. >I catch him. >I take him to the bedroom and chain him to the bed. >Start beating him with the null rod until he's bloody. >Force-feed him about a gallon of holy water. >Figure that should have done the trick, ask him "Do you feel the love of Space Jesus yet?" >"F--- YOU" he replies >Keep beating him with the null rod. >HOS walks in and sees the bloody prisoner chained to the bed. >"WHAT THE F--- ARE YOU DOING!??" >He releases the prisoner, but not long after, 2 more prisoners are brought in. >Continue deprogramming them in a similar manner. >Eventually one of them escapes from the chair and starts running around the cell. >He takes off his pants and s---- on the floor. >Slip on the s---. >Get beaten to death by the null rod. Do you feel the love of Space నెలుUS Yet F--- YOU

space station 13 ss13 greentext storytime 4chan cultist cult chaplain head of security hos deprogramming

World War 1 and D&D Crossover: War Stories of a Elf Corporal

O Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)13:12 No.4144544 The worst part is the mud. It gets everywhere, and I mean EVERYWHERE. You'd think the nerve-wracking waiting, the brief and terrifying action, or the horrific, painful death would be worse. But they aren't. You learn to ignore those. You learn to cope. Can't cope with the f------ mud. I've had to change my socks and scrape filth out of my boots four times today. My squad buddy Larquen lost most of his foot to the chirurgeons after gangrene set it. All because of the ever-f------ mud. Let me tell you, you haven't known suffering until you've had to scrape muck and weevils off your lembas rations for a month of Sundays straight. You'd think the druids would care more about it, but half the time they're the ones causing it. Says it mucks up the NML something fierce, which I don't doubt. But with the bloody dwarves sapping left and right you get all sorts of contaminants in there, and then it just rushes back down on our faces. I f------ hate it here. O Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)13:23 No.4144618 >>4144544 I've never been over the top. At this point the trenches are about ten feet deep with stairs and duckboards about half-way up. My view of the war has been sepia print framed in barbed wire and smoke. I haven't had to worry about enemy Wandegher guns or sinkhole traps set by the f------, f------ dwarves. Just the occasional boom-bolt barrage or Cloudkill offensive. You ever worn a gasmask for three days straight? Lemme tell ya, the whole world becomes a foggy pinpoint, tinted in varying shades of toxin. My buddy Larquen, the one with the foot? Yeah, he bought it in the last gas flood. Couldn't get his hood on in time. F------ magic does terrible things to a man. His tongue turned black. Not blue or whatever color you'd call a bruise, I mean BLACK. Like charcoal. You could hear the fluid in his lungs, just sloshing around. And you know what I thought, lookin' at him? I thought "God damn, I'm thirsty." I'm not too proud to say I nicked his canteen. Water's water. 'Specially when it isn't full of all that f------ mud. O Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)13:34 No.4144709 >>4144618 You join up thinking it's gonna be steak and sausage seven days a week, wall-to-wall parades and all the p---- you can f---. I tell you, when they gave me my armor and my Shard-Thrower I was the happiest man alive. Back then I looked damn good in that uniform. When I made brevet corporal in basic I hardly took the pips off to shower. Good gods, I haven't showered in damn near seven months. Haven't slept in a proper bed in nine. Haven't had steak OR sausage in a bloody year. I hate it here. Everyday I wake up a little worse than the day before. A little less stable, a little more numb. I used to vomit every morning from the f------ smell. I used to cry every night because the artillery noise wouldn't let me sleep. I cut that out pretty quick. Don't have the food or water to waste. I've been trying to roll this same damn c-------- for twenty minutes now. My hands are shaking too hard to handle the shag. I hate it here so much. O Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)14:51 No.4145358 >>4144709 I mean, what are we fighting for? The posters say your fighting for the Motherland and the glory of the elvish race. It's b-------. There isn't any glory or decency here. The officers sit in their gilded, force-shielded tents and move us around like chess pieces. Chess pieces don't scream. Or bleed. Their tongues don't turn black when they're too slow with the gas-hood. This isn't what I thought the Erlmacht would be like. I grew up with tales of Colonel von Quarlen's last stand, campfire tales of Crimson Duke; greatest dragonrider who ever lived. I was told that with my schola grades I could qualify for the officer-training program. That I might be leading a battalion within the decade. It's been four years and I'm still a f------ brevet corporal. I eat the same maggoty rations as everyone else, I sleep in the same diseased muck else. I get a better 'Thrower than my fireteam, but all that does is make me a target. everyone They tell you war is hell. They're wrong. Hell, I could deal with. O Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)15:19 No.4145604 >>4145397 Why thank you, good sir. >>4145358 I never thought l'd say this, but thank Correlon for the f------ kobolds. It's not just because they're the best trappers, sappers, and siege engineers in the bloody world. The little bastards are FUN. They've always got some gallows joke going on, and I've yet to meet one that didn't have a pack of cards or a set of dice handy. And they've saved our asses more than once. I used to hang with one of their engineers, a little fellow named Krik. The f----- won most of my schnapps rations, but I don't begrudge him for it. He's good company. So we were dicing away guard duty, drinking beer and telling dirty jokes, when Krik takes a good, long look at my drink. I was going to make a crack about the sexual proclivities of his mother, but I got this -feeling-, you know? So I ask him what's the matter, he just picks up his spear and tells me to grab my Shard-Thrower. Next thing you know there's an explosion of dirt and duckboard and f------, god-damn mud. DWARVES. EVERYWHERE. DOZENS OF 'EM. I emptied my charge pack into the hole, the two of us screaming at the top of our lungs. Then it was all knife-work 'til backup arrived. Apparently there was a druid down the line that heard the squaties tunneling. And let me tell you, the treehuggers are gods-damned terrifying when they get going. I got out mostly fine, some bruising and a few loose teeth. Krik wasn't so lucky. If the druid hadn't been there, he'd a died. As is he lost most of his legs and got a free ticket home. I miss the little squeeker. I still write him sometimes. O Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)17:12 No.4146605 >>4145604 And the necros. Sehenine's blood, the f------ necros. See, about fifty miles northwest of here the trenches peter out, turn into scrubland. My platoon was tapped for a routine recon mission about a month ago. So we packed up and headed out there. Total clusterfuck from beginning to end. We had barely enough supplies, maybe four capacitor crystals apiece and no extra food. Not to mention our intel was s---. We were told there might be some humans digging around, looking for one of our crystal dumps and foraging supplies. We didn't find any humans. Not of the living variety, anyway. It's f------ unnatural I tell you. A whole bloody battalion marching in lock-step. Every man-jack of them dead as a doorknob. I.. I don't wanna talk about it. It was... it was worse than the mud. Well, maybe not worse. But about as bad. And the god-damn lieutenant had some kind of death wish. He sees these walking corpses headed at us and orders us to set up an enfilade and open fire. We weren't gonna, but then the bastard killed Paxel. Just shot him in the f------ head, pal. So we stepped up and started shooting. We made a pretty good account of ourselves. Stiffs can't shoot for s---. O Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)17:13 No.4146607 >>4146605 Now, remember when I said we only had four crystals apiece? Yeah, those run out pretty damn fast, especially in a target-rich environment. So Lt. Requist says "fix bayonets and charge." That's where the buck stops. I'll shoot at a zombie all the live-long day. But if he gets up in my face and starts clawing at me.. You know their fingertips wear away in a few months. After a bit they don't have nails anymore, just bits of fingerbone, sharpened like razors. So Requist goes charging at them screaming blood and vinegar at the top of his lungs. The rest of us decided that we were perfectly comfortable in the scrub. I one five silver, he lasted over a minute. Then, and this is the part that wakes me up screaming, the actual necromancer saw us. Looked straight at us. At me. He looked at us like ants. Like we were just some kind of insect that disrupted his perfect little worldview. Not ashamed to admit we ran like hell. You would have, too. O Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)19:06 No.4147682 >>4147570 You can always trust the humans to figure new ways to blow s--- up. And that's even when there are perfectly good ways of doing so. Example: the ballista. It's a perfectly good siege weapon. Take a crossbow and make it huge, do the same with the bolts. And I know I don't have to tell you that wizards and such can throw fire around in large, painful ways. Leave it to the humans to put them together. See, none of their higher-powered spellslingers want to go to the front lines, who can blame them? So instead they fulfill their civic duty by making scrolls and s--- of big explosive spells. Grunt- casters then use them to enchant glass jars strapped to ballista bolts. You fire the bolt, the arrow comes down, hits some poor f-----, then explodes. We call them boom-bolts. O Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)19:15 No.4147759 >>4147673 By all means. >>4147682 The good thing about boom-bolts is that the jar produces a bunch of extra drag, creating a distinctive whistling noise as they fly. It's nice, because you have ample warning to get into cover and keep your f------ head down. Or they did until recently. Apparently some f------ genius got the idea to put silencing magic on the bolts. Now you have maybe a second or two to avoid pointy, fiery death. This was about five months ago. I was shooting the s--- with Krik, remember Krik? This was before the sapper incident, so he still had his legs. So we were sitting there on the firing platform playing cards with a few others. For once, I was even winning. So I'm having a c--------, counting my winnings and planning the best way to stay as drunk as possible for as long as possible. Krik is telling me to go double-or-nothing, but the key to good gambling is quiting when you're ahead. Snikrot, he's this gobbo that comes around, a whatchacallit, a psychic. He came around every now and again to recharge the capacitors for our Shard-Throwers. Good guy. So he picks up the deck and starts shuffling, taking a moment to impugn my family line in the process. O Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)19:26 No.4147855 >>4147759 Poor Snikrot never got a chance to finish. Quick as a f------ thunderbolt a god damn boom-bolt lands not fifteen feet up the line. Anyone ever tell you about fight-time? It's this thing when adrenaline and terror and exhilaration reach some kind of alchemical balance in your head. Time jumps around a lot. Instants can last for days, and you find yourself loosing hours of running and screaming and bleeding. Well out of the corner of my eye I see that bolt coming over the lip of the trench and fight-time hits HARD. I have just enough time to register that it's not making the right noise before the world turns into fire. Snikrot was closest to the blast. Have you seen what a fistful of sharp rock shards can do to a skull? It's like watching a cantelope explode, only stickier. The back of his skull deformed, then I get a faceful of teeth and viscera. Krik and Snikrot were close, so Krik is freaking the f--- out, trying to scrape the remains of the goblin's head back together and keep 'em that way through sheer force of will. l grabbed the scaly little squeeker and started running for the lip under the trench. O Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)19:35 No.4147919 >>4147837 I've been assuming that at least the elves have crossbows that replicate the Crystal Shard psychic power, fueled by capacitor crystals. That's what I'm talking about when I say Shard-Thrower. >>4147855 So I dragged our asses under the lip, and not a moment too soon either. Right where we were, like some kind of pinpoint, another f------ boom-bolt hits. Now they're everywhere. The noise is deafening. No, it's worse. Eventually your entire skull just goes numb from the constant shocks. You can feel your teeth rattle. It's like having your head inside a bell while an over-caffeinated orc wails on it with smithy hammer. I can't describe it unless you've been through it. But it just keeps going on and on and on and on until you're ready to dive out into the holocaust just to get it to stop. So there's me and Krik, and another guy Parvel under the lip, holding muddy blankets in front of us to ward off the heat, screaming prayers at the top of our lungs, but we can't hear them, let alone the gods. And suddenly there's the burst from above and behind us, like all of a sudden gravity decided to swap directions for no reason. O Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)19:44 No.4148015 >>4147919 The three of us go flying through the super-heated air in a shower of mud and blood and body parts. I landed hard against the other trench-lip, I think. I could feel at least one of my ribs shatter like porcelain. Didn't have time to think about it, though; as soon as the world stopped spinning it collapsed. Remember the mud? The god-damned, thrice-cursed, ever-f------, bloody, bloody mud? Turns out it doesn't take well to shocks like that and starts sliding back into the bloody- f------ trenches. Now everything's dark and tastes like s--- and I can't breath and I'm starting to panic. There is nothing, NOTHING like being buried alive in an artillery storm. You can't see, you can't feel anything but the slime and the occasional limb that you hope to whatever god you hold is still attached to someone, you can't hear anything but the constant, overlapping shocks of impact. O Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)20:02 No.4148175 >>4147939 I had the goblins as a marginally unaligned sect, selling intelligence and equipment to both sides. The handle logistics, especially for the Shard-Throwers, given gobbos' greater preponderance of psionic power over magical power. Just my thought, though. >>4148015 I've said it once and l'll say it again: thank Correlon for the f------ kobolds. Here I am in the ooze thrashing around like a man possessed, and all that's doing is making it worse. Every inch of space I open is instantly filled up again even thicker. I'm panicking and screaming and the muck is getting in my mouth and nose and I am going to DIE. Then I feel a scaly little hand grab mine and pull. At first it just feels like he'll slip away, or my arm will pop from the socket; but slowly the little bugger keeps pulling and digging and then BAM I'm free. If my lungs hadn't been half-full of the god-damn mud, I'd of kissed the little guy. Well, maybe not kissed but you get the idea. The line was a wreck. The druids and the earthmovers were trying to put things back together again. Half the place was on fire, the other half was flooded with blood and limbs. Remember how I said that I don't throw up any more? Well I broke my rule. Me and Krik found what was left of Snikrot and stuck him a hole, said a few words. It was the least we could do for the poor bastard. This f------ war...

O Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)13:12 No.4144544 The worst part is the mud. It gets everywhere, and I mean EVERYWHERE. You'd think the nerve-wracking waiting, the brief and terrifying action, or the horrific, painful death would be worse. But they aren't. You learn to ignore those. You learn to cope. Can't cope with the f------ mud. I've had to change my socks and scrape filth out of my boots four times today. My squad buddy Larquen lost most of his foot to the chirurgeons after gangrene set it. All because of the ever-f------ mud. Let me tell you, you haven't known suffering until you've had to scrape muck and weevils off your lembas rations for a month of Sundays straight. You'd think the druids would care more about it, but half the time they're the ones causing it. Says it mucks up the NML something fierce, which I don't doubt. But with the bloody dwarves sapping left and right you get all sorts of contaminants in there, and then it just rushes back down on our faces. I f------ hate it here. O Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)13:23 No.4144618 >>4144544 I've never been over the top. At this point the trenches are about ten feet deep with stairs and duckboards about half-way up. My view of the war has been sepia print framed in barbed wire and smoke. I haven't had to worry about enemy Wandegher guns or sinkhole traps set by the f------, f------ dwarves. Just the occasional boom-bolt barrage or Cloudkill offensive. You ever worn a gasmask for three days straight? Lemme tell ya, the whole world becomes a foggy pinpoint, tinted in varying shades of toxin. My buddy Larquen, the one with the foot? Yeah, he bought it in the last gas flood. Couldn't get his hood on in time. F------ magic does terrible things to a man. His tongue turned black. Not blue or whatever color you'd call a bruise, I mean BLACK. Like charcoal. You could hear the fluid in his lungs, just sloshing around. And you know what I thought, lookin' at him? I thought "God damn, I'm thirsty." I'm not too proud to say I nicked his canteen. Water's water. 'Specially when it isn't full of all that f------ mud. O Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)13:34 No.4144709 >>4144618 You join up thinking it's gonna be steak and sausage seven days a week, wall-to-wall parades and all the p---- you can f---. I tell you, when they gave me my armor and my Shard-Thrower I was the happiest man alive. Back then I looked damn good in that uniform. When I made brevet corporal in basic I hardly took the pips off to shower. Good gods, I haven't showered in damn near seven months. Haven't slept in a proper bed in nine. Haven't had steak OR sausage in a bloody year. I hate it here. Everyday I wake up a little worse than the day before. A little less stable, a little more numb. I used to vomit every morning from the f------ smell. I used to cry every night because the artillery noise wouldn't let me sleep. I cut that out pretty quick. Don't have the food or water to waste. I've been trying to roll this same damn c-------- for twenty minutes now. My hands are shaking too hard to handle the shag. I hate it here so much. O Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)14:51 No.4145358 >>4144709 I mean, what are we fighting for? The posters say your fighting for the Motherland and the glory of the elvish race. It's b-------. There isn't any glory or decency here. The officers sit in their gilded, force-shielded tents and move us around like chess pieces. Chess pieces don't scream. Or bleed. Their tongues don't turn black when they're too slow with the gas-hood. This isn't what I thought the Erlmacht would be like. I grew up with tales of Colonel von Quarlen's last stand, campfire tales of Crimson Duke; greatest dragonrider who ever lived. I was told that with my schola grades I could qualify for the officer-training program. That I might be leading a battalion within the decade. It's been four years and I'm still a f------ brevet corporal. I eat the same maggoty rations as everyone else, I sleep in the same diseased muck else. I get a better 'Thrower than my fireteam, but all that does is make me a target. everyone They tell you war is hell. They're wrong. Hell, I could deal with. O Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)15:19 No.4145604 >>4145397 Why thank you, good sir. >>4145358 I never thought l'd say this, but thank Correlon for the f------ kobolds. It's not just because they're the best trappers, sappers, and siege engineers in the bloody world. The little bastards are FUN. They've always got some gallows joke going on, and I've yet to meet one that didn't have a pack of cards or a set of dice handy. And they've saved our asses more than once. I used to hang with one of their engineers, a little fellow named Krik. The f----- won most of my schnapps rations, but I don't begrudge him for it. He's good company. So we were dicing away guard duty, drinking beer and telling dirty jokes, when Krik takes a good, long look at my drink. I was going to make a crack about the sexual proclivities of his mother, but I got this -feeling-, you know? So I ask him what's the matter, he just picks up his spear and tells me to grab my Shard-Thrower. Next thing you know there's an explosion of dirt and duckboard and f------, god-damn mud. DWARVES. EVERYWHERE. DOZENS OF 'EM. I emptied my charge pack into the hole, the two of us screaming at the top of our lungs. Then it was all knife-work 'til backup arrived. Apparently there was a druid down the line that heard the squaties tunneling. And let me tell you, the treehuggers are gods-damned terrifying when they get going. I got out mostly fine, some bruising and a few loose teeth. Krik wasn't so lucky. If the druid hadn't been there, he'd a died. As is he lost most of his legs and got a free ticket home. I miss the little squeeker. I still write him sometimes. O Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)17:12 No.4146605 >>4145604 And the necros. Sehenine's blood, the f------ necros. See, about fifty miles northwest of here the trenches peter out, turn into scrubland. My platoon was tapped for a routine recon mission about a month ago. So we packed up and headed out there. Total clusterfuck from beginning to end. We had barely enough supplies, maybe four capacitor crystals apiece and no extra food. Not to mention our intel was s---. We were told there might be some humans digging around, looking for one of our crystal dumps and foraging supplies. We didn't find any humans. Not of the living variety, anyway. It's f------ unnatural I tell you. A whole bloody battalion marching in lock-step. Every man-jack of them dead as a doorknob. I.. I don't wanna talk about it. It was... it was worse than the mud. Well, maybe not worse. But about as bad. And the god-damn lieutenant had some kind of death wish. He sees these walking corpses headed at us and orders us to set up an enfilade and open fire. We weren't gonna, but then the bastard killed Paxel. Just shot him in the f------ head, pal. So we stepped up and started shooting. We made a pretty good account of ourselves. Stiffs can't shoot for s---. O Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)17:13 No.4146607 >>4146605 Now, remember when I said we only had four crystals apiece? Yeah, those run out pretty damn fast, especially in a target-rich environment. So Lt. Requist says "fix bayonets and charge." That's where the buck stops. I'll shoot at a zombie all the live-long day. But if he gets up in my face and starts clawing at me.. You know their fingertips wear away in a few months. After a bit they don't have nails anymore, just bits of fingerbone, sharpened like razors. So Requist goes charging at them screaming blood and vinegar at the top of his lungs. The rest of us decided that we were perfectly comfortable in the scrub. I one five silver, he lasted over a minute. Then, and this is the part that wakes me up screaming, the actual necromancer saw us. Looked straight at us. At me. He looked at us like ants. Like we were just some kind of insect that disrupted his perfect little worldview. Not ashamed to admit we ran like hell. You would have, too. O Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)19:06 No.4147682 >>4147570 You can always trust the humans to figure new ways to blow s--- up. And that's even when there are perfectly good ways of doing so. Example: the ballista. It's a perfectly good siege weapon. Take a crossbow and make it huge, do the same with the bolts. And I know I don't have to tell you that wizards and such can throw fire around in large, painful ways. Leave it to the humans to put them together. See, none of their higher-powered spellslingers want to go to the front lines, who can blame them? So instead they fulfill their civic duty by making scrolls and s--- of big explosive spells. Grunt- casters then use them to enchant glass jars strapped to ballista bolts. You fire the bolt, the arrow comes down, hits some poor f-----, then explodes. We call them boom-bolts. O Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)19:15 No.4147759 >>4147673 By all means. >>4147682 The good thing about boom-bolts is that the jar produces a bunch of extra drag, creating a distinctive whistling noise as they fly. It's nice, because you have ample warning to get into cover and keep your f------ head down. Or they did until recently. Apparently some f------ genius got the idea to put silencing magic on the bolts. Now you have maybe a second or two to avoid pointy, fiery death. This was about five months ago. I was shooting the s--- with Krik, remember Krik? This was before the sapper incident, so he still had his legs. So we were sitting there on the firing platform playing cards with a few others. For once, I was even winning. So I'm having a c--------, counting my winnings and planning the best way to stay as drunk as possible for as long as possible. Krik is telling me to go double-or-nothing, but the key to good gambling is quiting when you're ahead. Snikrot, he's this gobbo that comes around, a whatchacallit, a psychic. He came around every now and again to recharge the capacitors for our Shard-Throwers. Good guy. So he picks up the deck and starts shuffling, taking a moment to impugn my family line in the process. O Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)19:26 No.4147855 >>4147759 Poor Snikrot never got a chance to finish. Quick as a f------ thunderbolt a god damn boom-bolt lands not fifteen feet up the line. Anyone ever tell you about fight-time? It's this thing when adrenaline and terror and exhilaration reach some kind of alchemical balance in your head. Time jumps around a lot. Instants can last for days, and you find yourself loosing hours of running and screaming and bleeding. Well out of the corner of my eye I see that bolt coming over the lip of the trench and fight-time hits HARD. I have just enough time to register that it's not making the right noise before the world turns into fire. Snikrot was closest to the blast. Have you seen what a fistful of sharp rock shards can do to a skull? It's like watching a cantelope explode, only stickier. The back of his skull deformed, then I get a faceful of teeth and viscera. Krik and Snikrot were close, so Krik is freaking the f--- out, trying to scrape the remains of the goblin's head back together and keep 'em that way through sheer force of will. l grabbed the scaly little squeeker and started running for the lip under the trench. O Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)19:35 No.4147919 >>4147837 I've been assuming that at least the elves have crossbows that replicate the Crystal Shard psychic power, fueled by capacitor crystals. That's what I'm talking about when I say Shard-Thrower. >>4147855 So I dragged our asses under the lip, and not a moment too soon either. Right where we were, like some kind of pinpoint, another f------ boom-bolt hits. Now they're everywhere. The noise is deafening. No, it's worse. Eventually your entire skull just goes numb from the constant shocks. You can feel your teeth rattle. It's like having your head inside a bell while an over-caffeinated orc wails on it with smithy hammer. I can't describe it unless you've been through it. But it just keeps going on and on and on and on until you're ready to dive out into the holocaust just to get it to stop. So there's me and Krik, and another guy Parvel under the lip, holding muddy blankets in front of us to ward off the heat, screaming prayers at the top of our lungs, but we can't hear them, let alone the gods. And suddenly there's the burst from above and behind us, like all of a sudden gravity decided to swap directions for no reason. O Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)19:44 No.4148015 >>4147919 The three of us go flying through the super-heated air in a shower of mud and blood and body parts. I landed hard against the other trench-lip, I think. I could feel at least one of my ribs shatter like porcelain. Didn't have time to think about it, though; as soon as the world stopped spinning it collapsed. Remember the mud? The god-damned, thrice-cursed, ever-f------, bloody, bloody mud? Turns out it doesn't take well to shocks like that and starts sliding back into the bloody- f------ trenches. Now everything's dark and tastes like s--- and I can't breath and I'm starting to panic. There is nothing, NOTHING like being buried alive in an artillery storm. You can't see, you can't feel anything but the slime and the occasional limb that you hope to whatever god you hold is still attached to someone, you can't hear anything but the constant, overlapping shocks of impact. O Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)20:02 No.4148175 >>4147939 I had the goblins as a marginally unaligned sect, selling intelligence and equipment to both sides. The handle logistics, especially for the Shard-Throwers, given gobbos' greater preponderance of psionic power over magical power. Just my thought, though. >>4148015 I've said it once and l'll say it again: thank Correlon for the f------ kobolds. Here I am in the ooze thrashing around like a man possessed, and all that's doing is making it worse. Every inch of space I open is instantly filled up again even thicker. I'm panicking and screaming and the muck is getting in my mouth and nose and I am going to DIE. Then I feel a scaly little hand grab mine and pull. At first it just feels like he'll slip away, or my arm will pop from the socket; but slowly the little bugger keeps pulling and digging and then BAM I'm free. If my lungs hadn't been half-full of the god-damn mud, I'd of kissed the little guy. Well, maybe not kissed but you get the idea. The line was a wreck. The druids and the earthmovers were trying to put things back together again. Half the place was on fire, the other half was flooded with blood and limbs. Remember how I said that I don't throw up any more? Well I broke my rule. Me and Krik found what was left of Snikrot and stuck him a hole, said a few words. It was the least we could do for the poor bastard. This f------ war...

the great war ww1 world war 1 boom-bolts zombie necromancer elf kobold artillery poison gas mud war 4chan d&d dungeons & dragons crossover storytime

World War 1 and D&D crossover: The Setting

File :1238471695.jpg-(361 KB, 1186x1074, gaurdsman.jpg) O Anonymous 03/30/09(Mon)23:54 No.4139522 Sup /tg/. I'm going to be DMing a DnD 3.5 game next week, and I am looking for any concept or mechanic ideas you guys have to throw out. The basic concept is WW1 in a DnD world, though a few elements from other settings and time periods will be thrown in (Namely, Germany is the Elven Third Reich). The entire world is bogged down in an eternal trench war. Magic and somewhat boosted technology are used to full effect by both sides. Magic artillery and rapid-fire crossbow emplacements forcing all sides involved into the mud. Lacking detailed knowledge and experience with historical WW1 soldiers, I'm going to base the armies on War40k imperial guard (in fact, one of my players has expressed interest in playing what will effectively be a commissar). >> O Anonymous 03/30/09(Mon)23:55 No.4139536 Go on... >> O Anonymous 03/30/09(Mon)23:55 No.4139543 File :1238471746.jpg-(449 KB, 1185x1368, Heavy Guns.jpg) The players are going to be playing in essentially mid-level command and special operations missions. They're going to be in command of roughly 50 to 60 soldiers and a few artillery guns - they will have to control moral, equipment, food, and strategy. The army is going to give them a budget every so often which they can use on weapons and armor for themselves or things for their men. The setting obviously includes some handwavium to bring it up to WW1 levels. This is most noticeable in the rapid fire crossbows and the flamethrower. So yes. Any ideas at all would be appreciated. In return, scribblefaggotry and descriptions if there is an interest. O Anonymous 03/30/09(Mon)23:58 No.4139573 Human Guardsman: A medium-height human soldier stands before you with a defeated expression on his face. Slung over on his slumped back is a short spear and a crossbow. He carries a dagger and spare bolts on his worn belt - the dagger's holster has seen much use. He wears obviously insufficient padded armor - no more than a heavy jacket, and ill-fitting at that. It has a large hole in the side red with ancient blood. The "armor" would appear to have belonged to a former patriot, possibly a friend. His boots, and in fact everything he wears, are dirty where they are not caked with mud. Hanging on his hand is a primitive black leather mask with two tinted pieces of glass for eyes and a strange bulge with imperceptibly small holes for a mouth. O Anonymous 03/30/09(Mon)23:59 No.4139600 File :1238471980.jpg-(354 KB, 1275x1666, the hung Gaurdsman.jpg) Elven Soldier: A tall, haughty elf stands before you with an expression of disgust on his subtly tired face. This is an inexperienced Elven warrior, but he has been fighting for longer than most humans have been alive. His polished leather armor stands out against the dirt and grime of the scene behind him, and his spearhead glistens. The shortbow on his back has seen much use, and you notice that his quiver is nearly empty. A dagger hangs from his belt, its handle stained red with the blood of the 'mongrel races'. The badge on his shoulder showcases the symbol that all humanity has come to hate. He has a preserved leaf of some kind tied in his hair, no doubt a gift from a far away elven maiden - nothing green grows here. O Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)00:00 No.4139610 Green zones. Due to range considerations, most cities, populations, and important services have pulled themselves away from the front lines if possible. So, soldiers being shipped out will see idyllic and green peaceful meadows on their way from the expansive cities and stinking farms... That will slowly fade and wither the closer they get to the muddy war cities they call home. Thanks to magic, many amenities can be delivered straight to the battlefield, allowing logistics and support to be done away with! However, thanks to magically enchanted bowmen, most wizards and logisticians have been killed. So malnutrition and privation are rampant across the trenches, as most wizards capable of bringing supplies use their status and connections to keep from being sent out into the trenches (And the range of the magic hunting bolts) to summon supplies. This has also had the effect of making the command trenches practically luxury resorts. U Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)00:01 No.4139625 Basic Dwarven Soldier: Before you stands a filthy dwarf conscript. His face is expressionless and his eyes are glazed over. The dwarf seems to go through life in a daze, always a moment away from collapsing in defeat and never standing up again. Only the ever-present threat of violence from his immediate superior motivates him, and even that is losing its edge. The dwarf is wearing little more than bloodstained dirty rags – nothing that could considered armor. This dwarf appears to have been a lucky one – he was able to scavenge a crossbow from a dead comrade. He clutches his sole misshapen bolt in his left hand, and a crude walking stick in the right. O Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)00:05 No.4139665 File :1238472311.jpg-(548 KB, 1265x1646, Storm Trooper.jpg) Elven Captain A strong, confident Elven leader stands before you. His presence radiates strength, but there is certain weariness in his eyes. He has been fighting for hundreds of years in a war he is beginning to lose faith in - he has seen more suffering then ten humans could hope to in a lifetime. Despite this, his hatred for the enemy has not dulled, and his experience has sharpened his skills and wits. His men follow him with fanatical devotion, confident that he will see them through to the end of the war. He is devoted to them as well - he has seen his men grow from boys to stalwart soldiers over long decades cowering in the mud, a lifetime away from the beauty and nature they are ostensibly fighting for. O Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)00:09 No.4139712 Underwars. When the dwarves were drawn into the wars of trench and mud, it was with a degree of surety and smug confidence. After all, if above ground is filled with danger, why not go below ground? They were experts in this matter after all, it should be a cinch. They gained a good three miles with shock tunneling, before they were stopped. The problem is, is that dwarves were not the only masters of subterranean tactics. It didn't take long for an enterprising goblin to make offers of a way to stymie the dwarven forces. To be sure, dwarves may make their tunnels surer and swifter, and may be the stronger fighters... But they weren't willing and able to dig flare shafts to signal for magical bombardment to collapse the tunnels. The losses in those first few pitched battles were atrocious. The goblins, thanks to their collective beliefs and amoral masters, did not mind their casualties as compared to the dwarves, who felt each loss to be irreplaceable. And aside from that, even if the dwarves were loathe to admit it, the goblins had lost less than the dwarves in each confrontation. Tunnelers are still being used; they're simply too effective to throw away. But now they are cautious, far less armored, and armed with far less hope. They say that when dwarves die, over the course of a hundred years, their bodies harden, and turn to iron, or if they were particularly noble, gold. A century later, there maybe some very rich mines in these battlefields. O Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)00:26 No.4139859 Artillery. Usually, wizards and sorcerors do not actually find themselves fulfilling these roles- surprisingly, the greatest fit for these are druids. Although one may audibly wonder (As a great deal moral, it has been lethal to enemies. covens have) as to WHY those who swear themselves servants of nature have gotten involved in such an unnatural war, even the opponents have admitted that, if not particularly First presented by the Leaflords in the Battle of Cherrywine Creek, it helped end the three month old battle almost immediately. The soldiers across the ridgeline were torn to pieces by animated roots, blasted by lightning called from above, and slaughtered by flights of falcons. At first, this was a cultural choice of the Elves; despite having many arcane masters, it is felt that druidic mastery is somehow bound to the Elvish character. However, over time there have been a great deal of other noted benefits- reconnaissance is unnecessary when the artillery piece can simply view the field with the eyes of mice. And wooded canopies can be created to protect one from flying wizards and sorcerors. Thus, the devastation wrought on the more permanent battlefields is for tactical purposes. To deny the druid's greatest weapons. Thus, druids that are not part of the Elvish nation's armies are also pressured to join the armies; to give reason to prevent a mass purge of nature. Others express their displeasure in more traditional ways, of course... Forcing the armies of the realms to act in domestic areas more than the kings would like. O Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)00:28 No.4139873 >>4139859 This is really useful. I was wondering how to do the elven artillery. As for the human artillery, I wrote this up: Ballista Artillery Damage: 5d8(19-20) + 10d6 for fireball Crew: Two magic user with 3 crewmembers Special: Artillery bolts have a specially designed glass jar for containing a delayed blast fireball. A crew magic user will cast delayed magic fireball (Level 10) via a scroll into the jar, with a delayed time of one turn. The other magic user will use a flying familiar, such as an eagle, as a spotter and fire the ballista with the help of the crew. The delayed blast fireball will then explode on the bolt, dealing 10d6 points of damage to everything in a 20 foot spread. O Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)00:29 No.4139889 >>4139873 While ballistae have existed for longer than any human alive remembers, only in the past few hundred years have they become the most feared weapon of the war. A simple bottle strapped to the side of a bolt changed more than any elf or man could have guessed. The art of magic has been harnessed by military efficiency in this deadly war machine. Thousands of skilled mages serve their country and avoid front line duty by producing scrolls of great explosive power by the cartload. These scrolls are then read by lesser mages, imbuing the bottle with great power. Another warmage then fires the ballista with the magic affixed with deadly accuracy, delivering a devastating blast to the heart of the enemy. The ease and simplicity of this system allows for hundreds of "artillery" batteries to be deployed along the trenches, allowing for simultaneous bombardment of miles of enemy trench. Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)01:16 No.4140236 >>4140090 >>4140135 Another way to deal with the ongoing slaughter: Since many/most of the dead can be resurrected, and trained soldiers are expensive, the standard practice early in the war would be to retrieve bodies and return them to life. But, as the war grows to WWI proportions, untrained, cheaper, conscripted troops come into play. Whether they're worth the cost of bringing back gets a little more questionable. But it's good for morale, so both sides keep doing it. Until some friendly necromancers points out to the commanders that if all they need the soldiers to do is fight, they've got a cheaper means of getting the dead back into action...and as a bonus, feeding and morale with those "resurrected" troops isn't so much of a problem anymore. They'd get a horrified reaction at first, but as the war goes on, one side gets into a temporarily desperate situation and raises some zombies or skeletons. It escalates from there, since the other side can't let their opponents get that advantage, and gradually there's more dead than living in the trenches...but the dead are still fighting. Start partway through that chain of events, and there's plenty of interesting stuff to do - investigate the first reports of undead, hunt down and capture some enemy necromancers, maybe find out that the necros on both sides are working together with bigger plans in mind... O Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)02:19 No.4140653 Orcs breaking their neutrality enter the war as a mercenary army. The Orc country still suffering from a massive Civil War that threaten to destabilize the entire country. No strangers to war Orcs rallied at the thought of going to war again, however the Orc government called for a halt and isolation period. Selling their goods to both sides the Orcs got rich, waiting no longer the Orcs jump feet first into the War. They hire themselves out to the Highest Bidder which happens to be the Allies. Fresh faces and arms are a great morale boost however the Orcs wanting to draw out the war for their own profits sabotage all attempts to end the endless trench war. Characterized as stupid, dense, and warmongering. Only the stupid part is incorrect, while the average solider on the trench is no more intelligent than a 12 year old human, the Orc commanders are as every bit intelligent as a Human or Elf commander. Orcs are the clear winners of this war, profiting from battle and gaining morale support to launch their own form of Imperialism. Orcs look for war to thin out their numbers, mostly the lower caste of Orcs the less intelligent more bestial caste. The higher ups that look like 4e Half Orcs are a different caste. Segeration isn't based on skin color but on caste type. As with Americans in WWI, Orcs are the ones profiting from this war. They sold their arms with whom ever paid the most first, which was the Allied side. However most of the money isn't going towards the war & ending it but prolonging it. O Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)06:31 No.4142415 File :1238495476.jpg-(82 KB, 555x975, 1237108932016.jpg) Human Necromancer: Shockingly young even by human standards, this child protogy would stand like a beacon of hope amidst the muck of the trenches if not for her unholy abilities. She wears a green and Grey cloak and looks no older than 11 years but she commands the dead to rise and fight again. Animating entire divisions to fight again as lurching Zombies, this child monster is both the greatest strength of the Allies and their most hated ally. What Unholy gods created this lethal grim Reaper in children's cloths are unknown, however her lethal power is a fact of existence on the western front. Even the Elves fear her, they seem to believe that if they die by her magics she will destroy their very souls. O Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)14:42 No.4145266 The Kobolds or the Turks were one the first to ally with the Elves. At first the Elves didn't like idea of serving side by side with bunch of lizards, however as time wore on the soldiers in the trench deeply appreciated the little tykes. Nearly all Sorcerers and Magic users that are in the Trenches today are Kobold. Why you ask? Elves wanted it this way, it was the only way to keep their magic users out of the trenches. Kobolds control an Ancient Empire, dating back thousands of years. They've been the enemies of the Dwarves since time begin so they tell. Master Diggers and architects they build elaborate trenches some even stated that they have underground cities near the front. Of course any Dwarf would tell you that they would been the first to know. Kobolds don't have nearly the number of the new incoming Orcs, however they make up for it with traps. It wasn't the machinebolter that turned this into a Trench war it was the Kobolds. Continued. U Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)14:43 No.4145271 >>4145266 Kobolds covered "no man's land" with millions of traps all cleverly hidden amongst the mud. Just to name a few theres the Pitfall in which the poor sap falls through what would seem to be just another muddy surface into a 10' deep pit with sharpen sticks on the bottom. Another is the foot grabber, in which it's no deeper than a human's knee or a Dwarf leg, like the pitfall it has sticks on the bottom, however whats more ingenious is the door it self traps the saps leg like a bear trap. Unable to move he's perfect target for a sniper or better yet just let the scum cut off his own leg and bleed to death. Should he survive infection would surely set in. Another tactic use by the Kobolds is to dig under the enemies trenches and burrow upwards enabling the Kobolds & Allies to assault the soldiers directly. Nothing is full proof though, as the Dwarves quickly caught on to this tactic by erecting magical barriers underground. This is an all or nothing for the Kobolds seeing that every man, most women, and able bodied children has been conscripted into this fight. Should their side loose they'll surely become extinct, and give the Dwarves the last laugh. O Dr. Baron von Evilsatan 03/31/09(Tue)19:48 No.4148038 >>4147935 Yuo've already done Goblins but they would have worked well for russia. Hybridise classic goblins with a touch 40K Orks to get a race of incredibly fast-breeding overpopulad peasants. They're all grim bastards because at least half of the peopel every goblin knows have been killed in the war. They continue war not for military reasons, but because their empire was having problems dealing with the crippling overpopulation and growing rates of breeding due to having vastly more available food because of the recent upgrades to their farming infrastructure purchased after the revolution, and they view the war as an effective population control method, as well as a way of keeping their own population under control, and easing technology out of their allies by pretending the neccessity of war. Most goblins are somewhat aware of this, but just don't care to do anything about it, because even if every second goblin male child gets sent off to the war to die that's more than used to live until the ruinous reign of the Elven Tsars and the constant famine. Also, they've only been industrialised for a few decades and are behind everyone else, but try to make up for it with 'goblin ingenuity'. Their technology looks ridiculous and ramshackle and doesn't work very well at all but they are still immensely proud of it and become offended when it is challenged.

File :1238471695.jpg-(361 KB, 1186x1074, gaurdsman.jpg) O Anonymous 03/30/09(Mon)23:54 No.4139522 Sup /tg/. I'm going to be DMing a DnD 3.5 game next week, and I am looking for any concept or mechanic ideas you guys have to throw out. The basic concept is WW1 in a DnD world, though a few elements from other settings and time periods will be thrown in (Namely, Germany is the Elven Third Reich). The entire world is bogged down in an eternal trench war. Magic and somewhat boosted technology are used to full effect by both sides. Magic artillery and rapid-fire crossbow emplacements forcing all sides involved into the mud. Lacking detailed knowledge and experience with historical WW1 soldiers, I'm going to base the armies on War40k imperial guard (in fact, one of my players has expressed interest in playing what will effectively be a commissar). >> O Anonymous 03/30/09(Mon)23:55 No.4139536 Go on... >> O Anonymous 03/30/09(Mon)23:55 No.4139543 File :1238471746.jpg-(449 KB, 1185x1368, Heavy Guns.jpg) The players are going to be playing in essentially mid-level command and special operations missions. They're going to be in command of roughly 50 to 60 soldiers and a few artillery guns - they will have to control moral, equipment, food, and strategy. The army is going to give them a budget every so often which they can use on weapons and armor for themselves or things for their men. The setting obviously includes some handwavium to bring it up to WW1 levels. This is most noticeable in the rapid fire crossbows and the flamethrower. So yes. Any ideas at all would be appreciated. In return, scribblefaggotry and descriptions if there is an interest. O Anonymous 03/30/09(Mon)23:58 No.4139573 Human Guardsman: A medium-height human soldier stands before you with a defeated expression on his face. Slung over on his slumped back is a short spear and a crossbow. He carries a dagger and spare bolts on his worn belt - the dagger's holster has seen much use. He wears obviously insufficient padded armor - no more than a heavy jacket, and ill-fitting at that. It has a large hole in the side red with ancient blood. The "armor" would appear to have belonged to a former patriot, possibly a friend. His boots, and in fact everything he wears, are dirty where they are not caked with mud. Hanging on his hand is a primitive black leather mask with two tinted pieces of glass for eyes and a strange bulge with imperceptibly small holes for a mouth. O Anonymous 03/30/09(Mon)23:59 No.4139600 File :1238471980.jpg-(354 KB, 1275x1666, the hung Gaurdsman.jpg) Elven Soldier: A tall, haughty elf stands before you with an expression of disgust on his subtly tired face. This is an inexperienced Elven warrior, but he has been fighting for longer than most humans have been alive. His polished leather armor stands out against the dirt and grime of the scene behind him, and his spearhead glistens. The shortbow on his back has seen much use, and you notice that his quiver is nearly empty. A dagger hangs from his belt, its handle stained red with the blood of the 'mongrel races'. The badge on his shoulder showcases the symbol that all humanity has come to hate. He has a preserved leaf of some kind tied in his hair, no doubt a gift from a far away elven maiden - nothing green grows here. O Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)00:00 No.4139610 Green zones. Due to range considerations, most cities, populations, and important services have pulled themselves away from the front lines if possible. So, soldiers being shipped out will see idyllic and green peaceful meadows on their way from the expansive cities and stinking farms... That will slowly fade and wither the closer they get to the muddy war cities they call home. Thanks to magic, many amenities can be delivered straight to the battlefield, allowing logistics and support to be done away with! However, thanks to magically enchanted bowmen, most wizards and logisticians have been killed. So malnutrition and privation are rampant across the trenches, as most wizards capable of bringing supplies use their status and connections to keep from being sent out into the trenches (And the range of the magic hunting bolts) to summon supplies. This has also had the effect of making the command trenches practically luxury resorts. U Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)00:01 No.4139625 Basic Dwarven Soldier: Before you stands a filthy dwarf conscript. His face is expressionless and his eyes are glazed over. The dwarf seems to go through life in a daze, always a moment away from collapsing in defeat and never standing up again. Only the ever-present threat of violence from his immediate superior motivates him, and even that is losing its edge. The dwarf is wearing little more than bloodstained dirty rags – nothing that could considered armor. This dwarf appears to have been a lucky one – he was able to scavenge a crossbow from a dead comrade. He clutches his sole misshapen bolt in his left hand, and a crude walking stick in the right. O Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)00:05 No.4139665 File :1238472311.jpg-(548 KB, 1265x1646, Storm Trooper.jpg) Elven Captain A strong, confident Elven leader stands before you. His presence radiates strength, but there is certain weariness in his eyes. He has been fighting for hundreds of years in a war he is beginning to lose faith in - he has seen more suffering then ten humans could hope to in a lifetime. Despite this, his hatred for the enemy has not dulled, and his experience has sharpened his skills and wits. His men follow him with fanatical devotion, confident that he will see them through to the end of the war. He is devoted to them as well - he has seen his men grow from boys to stalwart soldiers over long decades cowering in the mud, a lifetime away from the beauty and nature they are ostensibly fighting for. O Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)00:09 No.4139712 Underwars. When the dwarves were drawn into the wars of trench and mud, it was with a degree of surety and smug confidence. After all, if above ground is filled with danger, why not go below ground? They were experts in this matter after all, it should be a cinch. They gained a good three miles with shock tunneling, before they were stopped. The problem is, is that dwarves were not the only masters of subterranean tactics. It didn't take long for an enterprising goblin to make offers of a way to stymie the dwarven forces. To be sure, dwarves may make their tunnels surer and swifter, and may be the stronger fighters... But they weren't willing and able to dig flare shafts to signal for magical bombardment to collapse the tunnels. The losses in those first few pitched battles were atrocious. The goblins, thanks to their collective beliefs and amoral masters, did not mind their casualties as compared to the dwarves, who felt each loss to be irreplaceable. And aside from that, even if the dwarves were loathe to admit it, the goblins had lost less than the dwarves in each confrontation. Tunnelers are still being used; they're simply too effective to throw away. But now they are cautious, far less armored, and armed with far less hope. They say that when dwarves die, over the course of a hundred years, their bodies harden, and turn to iron, or if they were particularly noble, gold. A century later, there maybe some very rich mines in these battlefields. O Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)00:26 No.4139859 Artillery. Usually, wizards and sorcerors do not actually find themselves fulfilling these roles- surprisingly, the greatest fit for these are druids. Although one may audibly wonder (As a great deal moral, it has been lethal to enemies. covens have) as to WHY those who swear themselves servants of nature have gotten involved in such an unnatural war, even the opponents have admitted that, if not particularly First presented by the Leaflords in the Battle of Cherrywine Creek, it helped end the three month old battle almost immediately. The soldiers across the ridgeline were torn to pieces by animated roots, blasted by lightning called from above, and slaughtered by flights of falcons. At first, this was a cultural choice of the Elves; despite having many arcane masters, it is felt that druidic mastery is somehow bound to the Elvish character. However, over time there have been a great deal of other noted benefits- reconnaissance is unnecessary when the artillery piece can simply view the field with the eyes of mice. And wooded canopies can be created to protect one from flying wizards and sorcerors. Thus, the devastation wrought on the more permanent battlefields is for tactical purposes. To deny the druid's greatest weapons. Thus, druids that are not part of the Elvish nation's armies are also pressured to join the armies; to give reason to prevent a mass purge of nature. Others express their displeasure in more traditional ways, of course... Forcing the armies of the realms to act in domestic areas more than the kings would like. O Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)00:28 No.4139873 >>4139859 This is really useful. I was wondering how to do the elven artillery. As for the human artillery, I wrote this up: Ballista Artillery Damage: 5d8(19-20) + 10d6 for fireball Crew: Two magic user with 3 crewmembers Special: Artillery bolts have a specially designed glass jar for containing a delayed blast fireball. A crew magic user will cast delayed magic fireball (Level 10) via a scroll into the jar, with a delayed time of one turn. The other magic user will use a flying familiar, such as an eagle, as a spotter and fire the ballista with the help of the crew. The delayed blast fireball will then explode on the bolt, dealing 10d6 points of damage to everything in a 20 foot spread. O Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)00:29 No.4139889 >>4139873 While ballistae have existed for longer than any human alive remembers, only in the past few hundred years have they become the most feared weapon of the war. A simple bottle strapped to the side of a bolt changed more than any elf or man could have guessed. The art of magic has been harnessed by military efficiency in this deadly war machine. Thousands of skilled mages serve their country and avoid front line duty by producing scrolls of great explosive power by the cartload. These scrolls are then read by lesser mages, imbuing the bottle with great power. Another warmage then fires the ballista with the magic affixed with deadly accuracy, delivering a devastating blast to the heart of the enemy. The ease and simplicity of this system allows for hundreds of "artillery" batteries to be deployed along the trenches, allowing for simultaneous bombardment of miles of enemy trench. Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)01:16 No.4140236 >>4140090 >>4140135 Another way to deal with the ongoing slaughter: Since many/most of the dead can be resurrected, and trained soldiers are expensive, the standard practice early in the war would be to retrieve bodies and return them to life. But, as the war grows to WWI proportions, untrained, cheaper, conscripted troops come into play. Whether they're worth the cost of bringing back gets a little more questionable. But it's good for morale, so both sides keep doing it. Until some friendly necromancers points out to the commanders that if all they need the soldiers to do is fight, they've got a cheaper means of getting the dead back into action...and as a bonus, feeding and morale with those "resurrected" troops isn't so much of a problem anymore. They'd get a horrified reaction at first, but as the war goes on, one side gets into a temporarily desperate situation and raises some zombies or skeletons. It escalates from there, since the other side can't let their opponents get that advantage, and gradually there's more dead than living in the trenches...but the dead are still fighting. Start partway through that chain of events, and there's plenty of interesting stuff to do - investigate the first reports of undead, hunt down and capture some enemy necromancers, maybe find out that the necros on both sides are working together with bigger plans in mind... O Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)02:19 No.4140653 Orcs breaking their neutrality enter the war as a mercenary army. The Orc country still suffering from a massive Civil War that threaten to destabilize the entire country. No strangers to war Orcs rallied at the thought of going to war again, however the Orc government called for a halt and isolation period. Selling their goods to both sides the Orcs got rich, waiting no longer the Orcs jump feet first into the War. They hire themselves out to the Highest Bidder which happens to be the Allies. Fresh faces and arms are a great morale boost however the Orcs wanting to draw out the war for their own profits sabotage all attempts to end the endless trench war. Characterized as stupid, dense, and warmongering. Only the stupid part is incorrect, while the average solider on the trench is no more intelligent than a 12 year old human, the Orc commanders are as every bit intelligent as a Human or Elf commander. Orcs are the clear winners of this war, profiting from battle and gaining morale support to launch their own form of Imperialism. Orcs look for war to thin out their numbers, mostly the lower caste of Orcs the less intelligent more bestial caste. The higher ups that look like 4e Half Orcs are a different caste. Segeration isn't based on skin color but on caste type. As with Americans in WWI, Orcs are the ones profiting from this war. They sold their arms with whom ever paid the most first, which was the Allied side. However most of the money isn't going towards the war & ending it but prolonging it. O Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)06:31 No.4142415 File :1238495476.jpg-(82 KB, 555x975, 1237108932016.jpg) Human Necromancer: Shockingly young even by human standards, this child protogy would stand like a beacon of hope amidst the muck of the trenches if not for her unholy abilities. She wears a green and Grey cloak and looks no older than 11 years but she commands the dead to rise and fight again. Animating entire divisions to fight again as lurching Zombies, this child monster is both the greatest strength of the Allies and their most hated ally. What Unholy gods created this lethal grim Reaper in children's cloths are unknown, however her lethal power is a fact of existence on the western front. Even the Elves fear her, they seem to believe that if they die by her magics she will destroy their very souls. O Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)14:42 No.4145266 The Kobolds or the Turks were one the first to ally with the Elves. At first the Elves didn't like idea of serving side by side with bunch of lizards, however as time wore on the soldiers in the trench deeply appreciated the little tykes. Nearly all Sorcerers and Magic users that are in the Trenches today are Kobold. Why you ask? Elves wanted it this way, it was the only way to keep their magic users out of the trenches. Kobolds control an Ancient Empire, dating back thousands of years. They've been the enemies of the Dwarves since time begin so they tell. Master Diggers and architects they build elaborate trenches some even stated that they have underground cities near the front. Of course any Dwarf would tell you that they would been the first to know. Kobolds don't have nearly the number of the new incoming Orcs, however they make up for it with traps. It wasn't the machinebolter that turned this into a Trench war it was the Kobolds. Continued. U Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)14:43 No.4145271 >>4145266 Kobolds covered "no man's land" with millions of traps all cleverly hidden amongst the mud. Just to name a few theres the Pitfall in which the poor sap falls through what would seem to be just another muddy surface into a 10' deep pit with sharpen sticks on the bottom. Another is the foot grabber, in which it's no deeper than a human's knee or a Dwarf leg, like the pitfall it has sticks on the bottom, however whats more ingenious is the door it self traps the saps leg like a bear trap. Unable to move he's perfect target for a sniper or better yet just let the scum cut off his own leg and bleed to death. Should he survive infection would surely set in. Another tactic use by the Kobolds is to dig under the enemies trenches and burrow upwards enabling the Kobolds & Allies to assault the soldiers directly. Nothing is full proof though, as the Dwarves quickly caught on to this tactic by erecting magical barriers underground. This is an all or nothing for the Kobolds seeing that every man, most women, and able bodied children has been conscripted into this fight. Should their side loose they'll surely become extinct, and give the Dwarves the last laugh. O Dr. Baron von Evilsatan 03/31/09(Tue)19:48 No.4148038 >>4147935 Yuo've already done Goblins but they would have worked well for russia. Hybridise classic goblins with a touch 40K Orks to get a race of incredibly fast-breeding overpopulad peasants. They're all grim bastards because at least half of the peopel every goblin knows have been killed in the war. They continue war not for military reasons, but because their empire was having problems dealing with the crippling overpopulation and growing rates of breeding due to having vastly more available food because of the recent upgrades to their farming infrastructure purchased after the revolution, and they view the war as an effective population control method, as well as a way of keeping their own population under control, and easing technology out of their allies by pretending the neccessity of war. Most goblins are somewhat aware of this, but just don't care to do anything about it, because even if every second goblin male child gets sent off to the war to die that's more than used to live until the ruinous reign of the Elven Tsars and the constant famine. Also, they've only been industrialised for a few decades and are behind everyone else, but try to make up for it with 'goblin ingenuity'. Their technology looks ridiculous and ramshackle and doesn't work very well at all but they are still immensely proud of it and become offended when it is challenged.

child soldiers dwarves humans elves goblins orcs d&d trenches trench warfare artillery necromancer undead crossover kobalds 4chan mud world war 1 ww1 the great war dungeons and dragons

Love & Krieg: Precautions

Precautions O edit Despite what you might think I like having Krieger Female Model 68b #6345 around. I enjoy my time with her. However, there are a few problems here or there like in any relationship. After a while of living together I got it into my head that she really didn't need to have her gasmask on all the time. I was perfectly comfortable in letting her have it on when we were outside but her wearing it in the house was starting to bother me. The first time I tried to take it off was early in the relationship. She was standing at attention in the living room and I just went up and tried to take it off. I found myself on the floor in pain. I didn't see what hit me but guessing from the bruise, she smacked me with the butt of her lasgun. I guess she was just too fast for me to notice or I was too intent on the mask to see. The second time I tried was when I thought she was sleeping. Long story short and with similar results as the first time, it didn't work. The third time I tried giving her a direct order to take it off. I was shocked when she didn't comply. This made me question the nature of our relationship. Were we really boyfriend and girlfriend first and foremost? Was a Krieger just simply programmed to not follow such an order? Was la bad CO that she was there to aid and guide, a drill sergeant maybe? Or, dare I wonder, was she simply being insubordinate? Perhaps a combination of one or all. I later, after much thought, attempted for the fourth time to get her take off the mask. If direct action, subterfuge, and orders wouldn't work I would try tactics. "Krieger Female Model 68b #6345" I told her, "It doesn't make tactical sense for you to have your mask on inside. The lower lighting and number of doorways and corners makes the issue of reduced visibility a concern. Additionally, as this is our HQ the importance of protecting against infiltration is very important and the most sound way of accomplishing this is through facial recognition." I thought for a moment this wouldn't work but she eventually relented and took off her mask to reveal a beautiful face with piercing blue eyes.. and a blank expression. I don't know what came over me but I walked right over to her and gave her a kiss, full well expecting the butt of her lasgun in my stomach. To my surprise she adjusted her lips to meet mine, though she remained at attention and still had that same blank expression on the rest of her face. I suppose you need to work through things in any relationship. One last thing, as I was walking away to go upstairs I could have sworn I heard her say, "Sir." Though that was probably my imagination.

Precautions O edit Despite what you might think I like having Krieger Female Model 68b #6345 around. I enjoy my time with her. However, there are a few problems here or there like in any relationship. After a while of living together I got it into my head that she really didn't need to have her gasmask on all the time. I was perfectly comfortable in letting her have it on when we were outside but her wearing it in the house was starting to bother me. The first time I tried to take it off was early in the relationship. She was standing at attention in the living room and I just went up and tried to take it off. I found myself on the floor in pain. I didn't see what hit me but guessing from the bruise, she smacked me with the butt of her lasgun. I guess she was just too fast for me to notice or I was too intent on the mask to see. The second time I tried was when I thought she was sleeping. Long story short and with similar results as the first time, it didn't work. The third time I tried giving her a direct order to take it off. I was shocked when she didn't comply. This made me question the nature of our relationship. Were we really boyfriend and girlfriend first and foremost? Was a Krieger just simply programmed to not follow such an order? Was la bad CO that she was there to aid and guide, a drill sergeant maybe? Or, dare I wonder, was she simply being insubordinate? Perhaps a combination of one or all. I later, after much thought, attempted for the fourth time to get her take off the mask. If direct action, subterfuge, and orders wouldn't work I would try tactics. "Krieger Female Model 68b #6345" I told her, "It doesn't make tactical sense for you to have your mask on inside. The lower lighting and number of doorways and corners makes the issue of reduced visibility a concern. Additionally, as this is our HQ the importance of protecting against infiltration is very important and the most sound way of accomplishing this is through facial recognition." I thought for a moment this wouldn't work but she eventually relented and took off her mask to reveal a beautiful face with piercing blue eyes.. and a blank expression. I don't know what came over me but I walked right over to her and gave her a kiss, full well expecting the butt of her lasgun in my stomach. To my surprise she adjusted her lips to meet mine, though she remained at attention and still had that same blank expression on the rest of her face. I suppose you need to work through things in any relationship. One last thing, as I was walking away to go upstairs I could have sworn I heard her say, "Sir." Though that was probably my imagination.

krieger death korps of krieg krieger female model 68b #6345 gas mask storytime 4chan kiss lasgun warhammer 40000 wh 40k

Love & Krieg: Beachhead

Beachhead O edit I decided to take Krieger Female Model 68b #6345 with me to the beach for a short trip. I thought it would be nice and maybe the change in scenery would get her to lighten up. I told her about the trip a week ahead of time to give her a chance to get ready and she woke up promptly at five in the morning on Saturday, without the aid of an alarm, and waited in the car for me to get ready. I had told her that we were going to the beach but I wasn't sure at first that she understood what that was, as she was dressed in the same neatly pressed greatcoat she always wore (does she clean it when I am not around?). Our car ride was uneventful, I would talk, she would curtly nod. I think she also kept turning off the radio and adjusting the air conditioner when I wasn't looking, that or I am having electrical problems with the car. When we got to beach I shocked to find out that she did understand exactly where we were going. As soon as she got out of the car she removed her greatcoat revealing .warm weather fatigues. She had her sleeves rolled up to exactly a centimeter above her elbows, revealing her hands and arms for the first time. Her shirt was pleasantly form fitting and unfortunately buttoned up all the way and her pants were equally as form fitting as her shirt and disappointingly long and tucked into her boots. It wasn't perfect but it is the most casual that I had ever seen her. We went for a nice walk along the beach, in total silence, she with her lasgun slung over her shoulder ready to bring to bear at the first sign of trouble. She always walked in step with me on my right hand side except for a brief stretch when we passed a group of women playing volleyball, she then switched to my left depriving me of a pleasant view. I had hoped to go fishing at a small pier but I didn't have a fishing license and she kept pointing to a sign that said "no fishing without a license" and kept blocking my way. It is the most forceful she has ever been with me. After that I waded around in the ocean for a bit, she stood on the beach watching. All and all it wasn't a bad day . that is until we came across a group of kids building a sandcastle. I don't even know where she got the shovel but she was on them with it in a flash. Quickly she began to build ditches, bunkers, and ramparts around it. She was forcing the kids to help her directing them with dramatic and threatening gestures and shoving them from place to place, ignoring the cries from the younger ones. Eventually some of the parents saw her and came at her yelling. Big mistake, she quickly leveled her lasgun and opened fire. Fortunately she didn't hit anyone before I got there to stop her, I think they were warning shots though I am still certain that those families are traumatized for life. All things considered, it wasn't that bad of a day and could have been worse.

Beachhead O edit I decided to take Krieger Female Model 68b #6345 with me to the beach for a short trip. I thought it would be nice and maybe the change in scenery would get her to lighten up. I told her about the trip a week ahead of time to give her a chance to get ready and she woke up promptly at five in the morning on Saturday, without the aid of an alarm, and waited in the car for me to get ready. I had told her that we were going to the beach but I wasn't sure at first that she understood what that was, as she was dressed in the same neatly pressed greatcoat she always wore (does she clean it when I am not around?). Our car ride was uneventful, I would talk, she would curtly nod. I think she also kept turning off the radio and adjusting the air conditioner when I wasn't looking, that or I am having electrical problems with the car. When we got to beach I shocked to find out that she did understand exactly where we were going. As soon as she got out of the car she removed her greatcoat revealing .warm weather fatigues. She had her sleeves rolled up to exactly a centimeter above her elbows, revealing her hands and arms for the first time. Her shirt was pleasantly form fitting and unfortunately buttoned up all the way and her pants were equally as form fitting as her shirt and disappointingly long and tucked into her boots. It wasn't perfect but it is the most casual that I had ever seen her. We went for a nice walk along the beach, in total silence, she with her lasgun slung over her shoulder ready to bring to bear at the first sign of trouble. She always walked in step with me on my right hand side except for a brief stretch when we passed a group of women playing volleyball, she then switched to my left depriving me of a pleasant view. I had hoped to go fishing at a small pier but I didn't have a fishing license and she kept pointing to a sign that said "no fishing without a license" and kept blocking my way. It is the most forceful she has ever been with me. After that I waded around in the ocean for a bit, she stood on the beach watching. All and all it wasn't a bad day . that is until we came across a group of kids building a sandcastle. I don't even know where she got the shovel but she was on them with it in a flash. Quickly she began to build ditches, bunkers, and ramparts around it. She was forcing the kids to help her directing them with dramatic and threatening gestures and shoving them from place to place, ignoring the cries from the younger ones. Eventually some of the parents saw her and came at her yelling. Big mistake, she quickly leveled her lasgun and opened fire. Fortunately she didn't hit anyone before I got there to stop her, I think they were warning shots though I am still certain that those families are traumatized for life. All things considered, it wasn't that bad of a day and could have been worse.

death korps of krieg kriegers warhammer 40000 wh 40k date beach lasgun sandcastle 4chan love and krieg fishing

Love & Krieg: First Mission

First Mission edit I was once set up on a date with a Krieg chick on one of those dating websites. It was pretty weird to say the least. She showed up to my house at exactly seven in full combat gear, lasgun and gasmask included. We went to dinner and she didn't even take her mask off, she just sat there at attention staring at me. I tried to talk to her but she would just nod at everything I say. Eventually our food came and she still didn't take off her mask but when I turned to look away for a second her food disappeared. We went to a movie after that, she just sat there mask and all. However, I went to go the bathroom halfway through and she followed me out and stood guard outside the men's room. I think I heard her hitting someone who tried to come in but I am not sure. After the movie I decided to go home and on the car ride back tried to talk to her again and all she would do is nod. Before I went back inside my house we saluted each other, which frankly I have never done on a date in my life. It gets even more strange. The next day after work I came home and found her standing in my living room. We saluted again. Apparently she had decided to move in as she had a backpack and duffel bag with her. She sleeps in my bed but she just lies there rigid with her lasgun at her side, I am never sure she is asleep anyways. She always gives me rations to take with me to work and has rations ready for me at exactly six o'clock every evening. Of course, I am also pretty sure that she was the one who dug the trench around my house while I was at work this week. I am not sure if I have a live-in girlfriend or a live-in soldier. Maybe both.

First Mission edit I was once set up on a date with a Krieg chick on one of those dating websites. It was pretty weird to say the least. She showed up to my house at exactly seven in full combat gear, lasgun and gasmask included. We went to dinner and she didn't even take her mask off, she just sat there at attention staring at me. I tried to talk to her but she would just nod at everything I say. Eventually our food came and she still didn't take off her mask but when I turned to look away for a second her food disappeared. We went to a movie after that, she just sat there mask and all. However, I went to go the bathroom halfway through and she followed me out and stood guard outside the men's room. I think I heard her hitting someone who tried to come in but I am not sure. After the movie I decided to go home and on the car ride back tried to talk to her again and all she would do is nod. Before I went back inside my house we saluted each other, which frankly I have never done on a date in my life. It gets even more strange. The next day after work I came home and found her standing in my living room. We saluted again. Apparently she had decided to move in as she had a backpack and duffel bag with her. She sleeps in my bed but she just lies there rigid with her lasgun at her side, I am never sure she is asleep anyways. She always gives me rations to take with me to work and has rations ready for me at exactly six o'clock every evening. Of course, I am also pretty sure that she was the one who dug the trench around my house while I was at work this week. I am not sure if I have a live-in girlfriend or a live-in soldier. Maybe both.

death korps of krieg kriegers warhammer 40000 wh 40k 4chan date storytime love and krieg movie trench

Trench Ghost

O Anonymous 04/18/11(Mon)18:31 No.14637979 In one piece of trench, on every other night, when there is a soldier on watch on his own, he has a nightly visitor. He watches out for the enemy when he hears a noise behind him. On the small bench, no five feet away, there sits a German trooper, his Stahlhelm on. Before the soldier can react, the German speaks. He invites him on a late supper and starts a fluent, casual conversation in whatever the language of the group. If the soldier asks him, who he was, he will laugh and answer: "Me? Vhy, I'm ze enemy." If the soldier has shown no sign of hostility, upon which he will find himself stabbing/shooting the trench wall with noone around, the visitor will ask one last question. "Do you enjoy enjoy this war as much as I do?" If the soldier says he does not like the war, then the German will shove his helmet up a little to reveal the bullet wound on his forehead, the light now revealing the dead, broken nature of his eyes: "Ach, too bad. Vell, watch out for yourself in the morning." Should the soldier say something about enjoying war, then his visitor will widen his constant smile to a sinister grin and never will one hear ofthe soldier again, except in reports of German soldiers, claiming there was an enemyin the trenches to offer them food and a conversation.

O Anonymous 04/18/11(Mon)18:31 No.14637979 In one piece of trench, on every other night, when there is a soldier on watch on his own, he has a nightly visitor. He watches out for the enemy when he hears a noise behind him. On the small bench, no five feet away, there sits a German trooper, his Stahlhelm on. Before the soldier can react, the German speaks. He invites him on a late supper and starts a fluent, casual conversation in whatever the language of the group. If the soldier asks him, who he was, he will laugh and answer: "Me? Vhy, I'm ze enemy." If the soldier has shown no sign of hostility, upon which he will find himself stabbing/shooting the trench wall with noone around, the visitor will ask one last question. "Do you enjoy enjoy this war as much as I do?" If the soldier says he does not like the war, then the German will shove his helmet up a little to reveal the bullet wound on his forehead, the light now revealing the dead, broken nature of his eyes: "Ach, too bad. Vell, watch out for yourself in the morning." Should the soldier say something about enjoying war, then his visitor will widen his constant smile to a sinister grin and never will one hear ofthe soldier again, except in reports of German soldiers, claiming there was an enemyin the trenches to offer them food and a conversation.

ww1 world war 1 western front trenches paranormal ghost 4chan

Good Guy Humanity

O Humanity, F--- YEAH Anonymous 01/02/14(Thu)03:04 UTC+11 No.29210823 Replies: >>29210830 I posted about a week ago about a story I wrote in /lit/ and they pointed me to here to post this. It's an edit of a short story I wrote, and all I ask is for a critique on what I could do better, or what I've f----- up on. So please, hold nothing back if this isn't to your liking. 1/? Humans. I REJECT YOUR REALITY AND SUBSTITUTE MY OWN This species is short, creative, stubborn, decently intelligent, and individually are weak, yet in numbers are incredibly hardy, robust, and strong. They breed quickly, live short and futile lives, and for the smallest of reasons will kill each other without a second thought. Many have had low expectations of this brutish and barbarous species. They were beneath us more than any other race in terms of culture, art, technology, and social programs so while their least desirables were worked hard and rewarded little, their 'aristocratic' counterparts flocked to the heavens, eager to join the thriving extra-stellar community. Naive to the structure of galactic politics, the Terrans would push themselves onto whatever race would lend counsel to their primitive auditory communications. Many left them to their own devices, shamelessly and rightfully leaving them to the harsh realities of the spacious home we all find ourselves in. We Santari, however, were one of the handfuls of groups that would barter and negotiate agreements with the vermin. We'd trade scraps, derelict and tattered starships, agricultural equipment, and even environmental stabilizing technology to them (the barbarians had done more damage to their home planet than any other in the recorded history of intelligent species) for resources worth many hundred times more than what they were worth. O Anonymous 01/02/14(Thu)03:05 UTC+11 No.29210830 Replies: >>29210839 >>29210823 (OP) Far be it from us to take advantage of a prime workforce for our resource collection, we did so with a slight amount of smug enthusiasm and deception; pretending to be allies yet giving them the worst treatment in regards to trade agreements and our "gifts of knowledge". The true irony of it all being that they willfully accepted these downsides under the pretense or furthering intergalactic diplomacy and with promise of showing others that they were willing, able, and trustworthy. I suppose to this end, the humans had formed a special bond with our insectoid race. We were advancing their civilization at least a hundred of their puny years forward while reaping almost every possible benefit we never deserved. Anonymous 01/02/14(Thu)03:06 UTC+11 No.29210839 Replies: >>29210846 >>29210830 2/? Little did we understand the error of what we had unwittingly done. In retrospect, we had broken the cardinal rule of the galactic community; without proper diligence, disregard for foresight, and without consulting the Galactic Counsil, we planted a seed of unrivaled growth in a yet unproven and undeserving race for our own benefit. Their bipedal skeletons with their undeveloped brains relentlessly honed in and trained themselves to grasp the underlying concepts of the machinery and electronics they acquired far faster than any one particular group had ever thought possible. Foregoing the advantages of biological engineering offered to them, they preferred to keep to their fleshy forms for the sake of "preserving humanity". This was a line of logic that still confounds most everyone to this day would prove invaluable and supremely effective to them. Their "primitive" minds would conjure outlandish and ridiculous notions of the fine fabric of reality that our enhanced nervous systems would outright deny for the sake of simple logic. All soon learned that the human brain, for all of it's faults and inefficiencies, was a marvel of creativity of the greatest caliber. Their stubborn nature defied every law of the universe, always amassing new theories to test. More experiments to perform. Never allowing "no" to disuade them, they'd work a problem from every possible angle in ways which seemed like pure folly. The most damning thing of all being that sometimes, they'd be right and completely shake the foundation of their scientific collaboration. O Anonymous 01/02/14(Thu)03:07 UTC+11 No.29210846 Replies: >>29210854 >>29210839 3/? This was the true nature of humanity. To stop at nothing once they had set their collective mind to a task to either prove it true or deny it as a falsehood. In the breadth of two short Terran lifetimes, they had mastered the art of manipulating what they called "Dark Energy" which we know as the Cosmological Repulsive Law. Fifty years later, they had traveled as far as the innermost galactic core (to be noted, a suicidal trek that only the desperate would engage in). Ten years after that, they began to mass produce anti-matter on an unparalleled scale. Ocular spiracles turned, attention drifted from the inane squabbles of their own to the insane human populace as they exploded instead of trickled from their solar system to neighboring stars. They stripped every unclaimed world they touched of whatever the soil or atmosphere would allow to them, only to further accelerate their growth that would rival the great empires that now are long gone. O Anonymous 01/02/14(Thu)03:08 UTC+11 No.29210854 Replies: >>29210867 >>29210846 4/? From this, the Galactic Counsil became un-nerved. The Terrans spreading across their own "backyard", they expediently started to make headway into the secrets of the universe that, as of yet in this entry, few others have breached. Due to our "friendship" of centuries gone by, the humans have had nothing but a peaceful, amicable, and symbiotic relationship with us, the orchestrators of their advance. They would begin to catch up to our own level of technology and understanding, yet untempered by the wisdom of age and experience. With exponential growth, they'd overtake us in almost all things. In recognition and gratitude of our dealings with each other, they shared their advances with us, and us Santari would happily share what we could without question. We had become one of the most intertwined and mutually beneficial allies of the entire galaxy. O Anonymous 01/02/14(Thu)03:09 UTC+11 No.29210867 Replies: >29210874 >>29210854 5/? To be sure, the Counsel saw all of this as nothing but heretical. They dominated the galaxy, they had every other race "under their thumb" as the humans would say. To advance beyond what they deemed appropriate was nothing short of chastising a god in the minds of other species. In the past, they had sent probes to the Terran homeworld called Earth, attempting to dissuade them from advancing too quickly. The Council, in their vast superiority to any other, never allowed technological advancement of any species beyond what they were comfortable with. They had the power and means to enforce these rules to any and all in the Core Worlds and wouldn't lightly give it up. They offered admittance to the alliance the Council controlled, but as such, they would need to adhere to many laws that stunt quick growth, and only sign off on research on what they would allow. In return, trade lanes would be opened up to Sol and her watery rock, they would gain a seat on the Counsil, and would be defended from whatever plight may come to them. They even brought schematics for a neural implant that would allow the humans total access to logical ways of thinking, bringing everlasting peace to their kind. The only downside was they'd have to put aside creativity in favor of being taken care of. O Anonymous 01/02/14(Thu)03:10 UTC+11 No.29210874 Replies: >>29210883 >>29210867 6/? Humanity saw this for what it truly was, it is the same reason we denied the Council as well. It was an insidious mean of control. They would have none of it and destroyed the probe that sent this message as a final "f--- you" to the galaxy. Through fear and just a hint of jealousy at their willingness to deny the Council, our two species would soon become scorned, the community of the Milky Way lashing out against us for bringing such an unknown variable unto them all, and by proxy the Council. Due to the Terrans living on the very fringe of the galaxy, outside the arm of influence of the Council, many of our worlds and star systems were razed to but bitter molten metal. Billions of us Santari laid exterminated for a "crime" we committed in swift and brutal sieges. Over a century, we retreated behind the lines of the humans. This is when their virtues of acceptance of those not of Earth finally became one of their most endearing qualities that we Santari would never forget. This is when we embraced the humans as much as they had for us. As hard as it was for us to leave our home, they did their absolute most to find and terraform planets for us to settle on. O Anonymous 01/02/14(Thu)03:11 UTC+11 No.29210883 Replies: >>29210893 >>29210874 7/? Looking back, we actually did so little for them that it is disgraceful to us. In our graciousness, we worked as hard as we could for them. Still, they would never allow our kind to feel such inadequacies. When our exoskeletons started to buckle, they would find us non-physical labor. When our nerve bundles became overwhelmed with our duty, they would force us to "take it easy" and rest. Many who would read this would think that we had been forced to work, that in return for asylum in their territory, we'd break our appendages toiling for them. Nothing could be further from the truth. We, as a species, were so honored by their acceptance and open arms that we felt indebted to quite literally work ourselves to termination for such unabashed camaraderie. Terrans, however, would surprise us yet again by allowing us to rebuild our society, with New Xenathiks being only 7 light years away from Earth. Their territory was our territory, their homes were our homes. During these times, they knew a force to be reckoned with would be coming. Preparedness became paramount. War was inevitable, and their distance from the outer Core Worlds gave them the time they needed. Breeding increased with incredible speed, mining of entire star systems became the norm, construction of dreadnaught class starships began with the newest weapons brought to bear. The Terrans then took the brunt of the force as the Councils forces advanced. Nearly one quarter of their outer colonies laid waste in an effort to quell their expansion. We did what we could, given the vast resources the Terrans allotted to us. Working side-by-side, our now small numbers labored until our carapaces would no longer allow, or until we were forced to stop. O Anonymous 01/02/14(Thu)03:12 UTC+11 No.29210893 Replies: >>29210905 >>29210883 8/? Before this log continues, I should note a particular un-named Humanity Scholar who once quoted "Conflict breeds creativity". Creativity, as a human construct, was it's defining characteristic millenia before their journey to the stars, yet would prove most valuable now more than ever for them and ourselves. Within fifteen years of the first Galactic Armada advance into their territory, their population exploded nearly three fold when their political structure began Terran and Santari propaganda. Within another ten years, the now 8.4 trillion humans had finished constructing fleets of unrivaled scale and destructive power. Their speed of breeding, construction, harvesting, and innovation became that of legend. Over the next fifty years, they held their ground, training every new combatant with the skills necessary to operate every basic facet of a starship, with us Santari being trained and taught alongside them. Again, they'd be at the forefront our own advance. The Terrans never let up, and never let us fall behind in terms of education and brotherhood. O Anonymous 01/02/14(Thu)03:13 UTC+11 No.29210905 >>29210893 9/9 Obliterating every last ship that dared to face them, they then sent a second and a third wave of ships to reinforce the line. Over the next single short year, they breached the front lines of the armada. Their natural chemically enhanced minds from adrenaline during battle would serve them well enough to laugh in the face of death and not even feel a mortal wound from combat. From there, one hundred years later, they had pushed into the heart of the Councils core worlds. Over the next 200 years, they would either conquer, obliterate, or force a surrender of any species that stood in their way, while chartering peace treaties with those who had stayed out of the war and putting the Santari at the highest echelons of non-Terran politics. The ban on research was abolished, and a new age of enlightenment and technological might exploded throughout the galaxy. We had done comparatively nothing for them. We never served their interests until they were beyond us, we gave them the worst of trade deals in the early years, and we thought nothing of them besides mere apes. Their own ingenuity would have brought all of this to the same end regardless of our intervention. Now, while the Milky Way stands as a united and prosperous whole, dominated by the "lowly" humans, we have only a single thing to say: Terrans are beyond horrifying, but are the best of allies. Woe be to any who stands against them. Karnitegal, First in the Order of the Historical Records. O Anonymous 01/02/14(Thu)03:25 UTC+11 No.29211020 10/10 would read again

O Humanity, F--- YEAH Anonymous 01/02/14(Thu)03:04 UTC+11 No.29210823 Replies: >>29210830 I posted about a week ago about a story I wrote in /lit/ and they pointed me to here to post this. It's an edit of a short story I wrote, and all I ask is for a critique on what I could do better, or what I've f----- up on. So please, hold nothing back if this isn't to your liking. 1/? Humans. I REJECT YOUR REALITY AND SUBSTITUTE MY OWN This species is short, creative, stubborn, decently intelligent, and individually are weak, yet in numbers are incredibly hardy, robust, and strong. They breed quickly, live short and futile lives, and for the smallest of reasons will kill each other without a second thought. Many have had low expectations of this brutish and barbarous species. They were beneath us more than any other race in terms of culture, art, technology, and social programs so while their least desirables were worked hard and rewarded little, their 'aristocratic' counterparts flocked to the heavens, eager to join the thriving extra-stellar community. Naive to the structure of galactic politics, the Terrans would push themselves onto whatever race would lend counsel to their primitive auditory communications. Many left them to their own devices, shamelessly and rightfully leaving them to the harsh realities of the spacious home we all find ourselves in. We Santari, however, were one of the handfuls of groups that would barter and negotiate agreements with the vermin. We'd trade scraps, derelict and tattered starships, agricultural equipment, and even environmental stabilizing technology to them (the barbarians had done more damage to their home planet than any other in the recorded history of intelligent species) for resources worth many hundred times more than what they were worth. O Anonymous 01/02/14(Thu)03:05 UTC+11 No.29210830 Replies: >>29210839 >>29210823 (OP) Far be it from us to take advantage of a prime workforce for our resource collection, we did so with a slight amount of smug enthusiasm and deception; pretending to be allies yet giving them the worst treatment in regards to trade agreements and our "gifts of knowledge". The true irony of it all being that they willfully accepted these downsides under the pretense or furthering intergalactic diplomacy and with promise of showing others that they were willing, able, and trustworthy. I suppose to this end, the humans had formed a special bond with our insectoid race. We were advancing their civilization at least a hundred of their puny years forward while reaping almost every possible benefit we never deserved. Anonymous 01/02/14(Thu)03:06 UTC+11 No.29210839 Replies: >>29210846 >>29210830 2/? Little did we understand the error of what we had unwittingly done. In retrospect, we had broken the cardinal rule of the galactic community; without proper diligence, disregard for foresight, and without consulting the Galactic Counsil, we planted a seed of unrivaled growth in a yet unproven and undeserving race for our own benefit. Their bipedal skeletons with their undeveloped brains relentlessly honed in and trained themselves to grasp the underlying concepts of the machinery and electronics they acquired far faster than any one particular group had ever thought possible. Foregoing the advantages of biological engineering offered to them, they preferred to keep to their fleshy forms for the sake of "preserving humanity". This was a line of logic that still confounds most everyone to this day would prove invaluable and supremely effective to them. Their "primitive" minds would conjure outlandish and ridiculous notions of the fine fabric of reality that our enhanced nervous systems would outright deny for the sake of simple logic. All soon learned that the human brain, for all of it's faults and inefficiencies, was a marvel of creativity of the greatest caliber. Their stubborn nature defied every law of the universe, always amassing new theories to test. More experiments to perform. Never allowing "no" to disuade them, they'd work a problem from every possible angle in ways which seemed like pure folly. The most damning thing of all being that sometimes, they'd be right and completely shake the foundation of their scientific collaboration. O Anonymous 01/02/14(Thu)03:07 UTC+11 No.29210846 Replies: >>29210854 >>29210839 3/? This was the true nature of humanity. To stop at nothing once they had set their collective mind to a task to either prove it true or deny it as a falsehood. In the breadth of two short Terran lifetimes, they had mastered the art of manipulating what they called "Dark Energy" which we know as the Cosmological Repulsive Law. Fifty years later, they had traveled as far as the innermost galactic core (to be noted, a suicidal trek that only the desperate would engage in). Ten years after that, they began to mass produce anti-matter on an unparalleled scale. Ocular spiracles turned, attention drifted from the inane squabbles of their own to the insane human populace as they exploded instead of trickled from their solar system to neighboring stars. They stripped every unclaimed world they touched of whatever the soil or atmosphere would allow to them, only to further accelerate their growth that would rival the great empires that now are long gone. O Anonymous 01/02/14(Thu)03:08 UTC+11 No.29210854 Replies: >>29210867 >>29210846 4/? From this, the Galactic Counsil became un-nerved. The Terrans spreading across their own "backyard", they expediently started to make headway into the secrets of the universe that, as of yet in this entry, few others have breached. Due to our "friendship" of centuries gone by, the humans have had nothing but a peaceful, amicable, and symbiotic relationship with us, the orchestrators of their advance. They would begin to catch up to our own level of technology and understanding, yet untempered by the wisdom of age and experience. With exponential growth, they'd overtake us in almost all things. In recognition and gratitude of our dealings with each other, they shared their advances with us, and us Santari would happily share what we could without question. We had become one of the most intertwined and mutually beneficial allies of the entire galaxy. O Anonymous 01/02/14(Thu)03:09 UTC+11 No.29210867 Replies: >29210874 >>29210854 5/? To be sure, the Counsel saw all of this as nothing but heretical. They dominated the galaxy, they had every other race "under their thumb" as the humans would say. To advance beyond what they deemed appropriate was nothing short of chastising a god in the minds of other species. In the past, they had sent probes to the Terran homeworld called Earth, attempting to dissuade them from advancing too quickly. The Council, in their vast superiority to any other, never allowed technological advancement of any species beyond what they were comfortable with. They had the power and means to enforce these rules to any and all in the Core Worlds and wouldn't lightly give it up. They offered admittance to the alliance the Council controlled, but as such, they would need to adhere to many laws that stunt quick growth, and only sign off on research on what they would allow. In return, trade lanes would be opened up to Sol and her watery rock, they would gain a seat on the Counsil, and would be defended from whatever plight may come to them. They even brought schematics for a neural implant that would allow the humans total access to logical ways of thinking, bringing everlasting peace to their kind. The only downside was they'd have to put aside creativity in favor of being taken care of. O Anonymous 01/02/14(Thu)03:10 UTC+11 No.29210874 Replies: >>29210883 >>29210867 6/? Humanity saw this for what it truly was, it is the same reason we denied the Council as well. It was an insidious mean of control. They would have none of it and destroyed the probe that sent this message as a final "f--- you" to the galaxy. Through fear and just a hint of jealousy at their willingness to deny the Council, our two species would soon become scorned, the community of the Milky Way lashing out against us for bringing such an unknown variable unto them all, and by proxy the Council. Due to the Terrans living on the very fringe of the galaxy, outside the arm of influence of the Council, many of our worlds and star systems were razed to but bitter molten metal. Billions of us Santari laid exterminated for a "crime" we committed in swift and brutal sieges. Over a century, we retreated behind the lines of the humans. This is when their virtues of acceptance of those not of Earth finally became one of their most endearing qualities that we Santari would never forget. This is when we embraced the humans as much as they had for us. As hard as it was for us to leave our home, they did their absolute most to find and terraform planets for us to settle on. O Anonymous 01/02/14(Thu)03:11 UTC+11 No.29210883 Replies: >>29210893 >>29210874 7/? Looking back, we actually did so little for them that it is disgraceful to us. In our graciousness, we worked as hard as we could for them. Still, they would never allow our kind to feel such inadequacies. When our exoskeletons started to buckle, they would find us non-physical labor. When our nerve bundles became overwhelmed with our duty, they would force us to "take it easy" and rest. Many who would read this would think that we had been forced to work, that in return for asylum in their territory, we'd break our appendages toiling for them. Nothing could be further from the truth. We, as a species, were so honored by their acceptance and open arms that we felt indebted to quite literally work ourselves to termination for such unabashed camaraderie. Terrans, however, would surprise us yet again by allowing us to rebuild our society, with New Xenathiks being only 7 light years away from Earth. Their territory was our territory, their homes were our homes. During these times, they knew a force to be reckoned with would be coming. Preparedness became paramount. War was inevitable, and their distance from the outer Core Worlds gave them the time they needed. Breeding increased with incredible speed, mining of entire star systems became the norm, construction of dreadnaught class starships began with the newest weapons brought to bear. The Terrans then took the brunt of the force as the Councils forces advanced. Nearly one quarter of their outer colonies laid waste in an effort to quell their expansion. We did what we could, given the vast resources the Terrans allotted to us. Working side-by-side, our now small numbers labored until our carapaces would no longer allow, or until we were forced to stop. O Anonymous 01/02/14(Thu)03:12 UTC+11 No.29210893 Replies: >>29210905 >>29210883 8/? Before this log continues, I should note a particular un-named Humanity Scholar who once quoted "Conflict breeds creativity". Creativity, as a human construct, was it's defining characteristic millenia before their journey to the stars, yet would prove most valuable now more than ever for them and ourselves. Within fifteen years of the first Galactic Armada advance into their territory, their population exploded nearly three fold when their political structure began Terran and Santari propaganda. Within another ten years, the now 8.4 trillion humans had finished constructing fleets of unrivaled scale and destructive power. Their speed of breeding, construction, harvesting, and innovation became that of legend. Over the next fifty years, they held their ground, training every new combatant with the skills necessary to operate every basic facet of a starship, with us Santari being trained and taught alongside them. Again, they'd be at the forefront our own advance. The Terrans never let up, and never let us fall behind in terms of education and brotherhood. O Anonymous 01/02/14(Thu)03:13 UTC+11 No.29210905 >>29210893 9/9 Obliterating every last ship that dared to face them, they then sent a second and a third wave of ships to reinforce the line. Over the next single short year, they breached the front lines of the armada. Their natural chemically enhanced minds from adrenaline during battle would serve them well enough to laugh in the face of death and not even feel a mortal wound from combat. From there, one hundred years later, they had pushed into the heart of the Councils core worlds. Over the next 200 years, they would either conquer, obliterate, or force a surrender of any species that stood in their way, while chartering peace treaties with those who had stayed out of the war and putting the Santari at the highest echelons of non-Terran politics. The ban on research was abolished, and a new age of enlightenment and technological might exploded throughout the galaxy. We had done comparatively nothing for them. We never served their interests until they were beyond us, we gave them the worst of trade deals in the early years, and we thought nothing of them besides mere apes. Their own ingenuity would have brought all of this to the same end regardless of our intervention. Now, while the Milky Way stands as a united and prosperous whole, dominated by the "lowly" humans, we have only a single thing to say: Terrans are beyond horrifying, but are the best of allies. Woe be to any who stands against them. Karnitegal, First in the Order of the Historical Records. O Anonymous 01/02/14(Thu)03:25 UTC+11 No.29211020 10/10 would read again

humanity aliens storytime 4chan konradkurze imgur galactic council space santari war terrans

Excuse me, do you have a moment to talk about our lord and saviour, the God-Emperor of Mankind?

AVE IMPERATOR WE ARE HUMANITY LOOK UPON OUR WORKS AND TREMBLE O Anonymous 12/08/11 (Thu)17:22 No.17147135 File1323382930.jpg-(96 KB, 772x483, 1318354036058.jpg) You're not thinking positively man. Of course the Emps is protecting us. When was the last time you saw a ravening warp daemon? Exactly. The lack of anything approaching proof never stopped any other religion. To sell it, you need to emphasise the fundamental quality of the Human soul. Established religion tells people they are weak and sinful and shameful. You tell them they're are blessed and holy and powerful. You point them at the wonders of man, how together we can create miracles. Teach them brotherhood and unity instead of division. Teach them strength and honor in their humanity instead of shame. Show them the sky and the light of a million stars and tell them our destiny. To walk amongst the stars and tame them. And teach them they need have no fear. For the Emperor protects. Always. Simply tell them what they wish to hear. What they know in the hearts to be true. Religions in this world use fear to enthrall their victims, take what should be natural and just and make it evil or sinful. O Anonymous 12/08/11(Thu)17:23 No.17147150 File1323383017.jpg-(720 KB, 1024x768, 1319998032296.jpg) >>17147135 Christ tells you you are sinful beyond redemption through no fault of your own. The Emperor tells you to be proud. You are human, perfect in form, perfect in mind. Nothing on the face of the world compares to you. You love, your joy, your anger and yes even your hate, is to be human. It is to be true to your nature. Christ offers you shame. The Emperor offers you pride in who you are. Allah expects mere obedience, yet what does he offer in return? Nothing, except sparing us his lash as long as we continue our obesiance. The Emperor asks for your loyalty, but only in his cause, that of all mankind, to build a better future. For that future he gave everything. What has Allah sacrificed?? What of the Hindu and Buddhists! They tell us this world is suffering. That to abandon hope and desire is the best a man can hope for. Lies. Every word. O Anonymous 12/08/11(Thu)17:25 No.17147167 File1323383129.jpg-(101 KB, 768x1024 , 646545.jpg) >>17147150 The future of mankind is the stars. It's unity throughout the skies, to see the wonders of the universe laid out before him. There is something special in all of us. The spark of life and joy and happiness. The human soul, pure and incorruptable. It's spirit burns brighter than a billion torches in teh dark, banishing the shadows of defeatism and gloom. Never listen to those who tell you that life is suffering and existence is meaningless. That way madness and decay lies I tell you this brothers, a message that needs telling more now than ever. It is a simple message, that should be heard in every coner of the globe, echoing from the highest mountain to the deepest oceans. We are HUMANITY. We have PURPOSE. WE ARE BROTHERS! All of us. Forget our petty wars and divisions, for the greater struggle lies out there, against a universe that has recognised our greatness and in it's fear seeks to destroy us. We can be united, The Emperor has shown us the way forward. Free from the lies of false prophets, the jealous falsehoods of dying gods, united in the great mission that lies ahead. O Anonymous 12/08/11(Thu)17:26 No.17147183 File1323383219.jpg-(42 KB, 200x444, Heresy2.jpg) >>17147167 There are some I know, that these words will not be enough. For fear and doubt still lie heavy on their hearts and souls. So this I say to you. The emperor watches over all of us. He is with us every moment. His strength is our strength. Guarding us. Protecting us whilst we do his holy work. Death when it comes has no power over the servants of the emperor, and when we die we shall sit in vigil at his side, watching over a better world we helped create. What more could a man ask? Let me tell you of my dreams brother. I dream of that terrible eye. The home of that most greatest evil. And I smile. "Why?" You might ask. Because in that all consuming darkness I see a star. A star brighter then any other. It grows and as it grows the darkness fades. And the star calls out. and then I see them. First the angels. The souls of the faithful, all marching in unison. With every step they take, the daemonic cry out in agony. And then see his armies. his Space Marines, His Inquisition, His Imperial Guard. the combined might of humanity all gathered together. All marching. The living and the dead. And then I see the dark gods themselves. And they are afraid. Remember what the Emperor has taught us, we are humanity and nothing can hope to stop us. O Anonymous 12/08/11(Thu)18:32 No.17147921 File1323387171.jng-(358 KB, 1276x1701, Emperorpsychic.jpg) Imperial Creed m-----------! Is there any other belief system/philosophy that tells you that you are capable of doing something and that you are good? Because every other belief system just plain s---- on you and your world view. You are either a sinner or a fool or unenlightened. Only Emperor reveals the fact that Humanity can go and do good without being shackled to fear and superstition.

AVE IMPERATOR WE ARE HUMANITY LOOK UPON OUR WORKS AND TREMBLE O Anonymous 12/08/11 (Thu)17:22 No.17147135 File1323382930.jpg-(96 KB, 772x483, 1318354036058.jpg) You're not thinking positively man. Of course the Emps is protecting us. When was the last time you saw a ravening warp daemon? Exactly. The lack of anything approaching proof never stopped any other religion. To sell it, you need to emphasise the fundamental quality of the Human soul. Established religion tells people they are weak and sinful and shameful. You tell them they're are blessed and holy and powerful. You point them at the wonders of man, how together we can create miracles. Teach them brotherhood and unity instead of division. Teach them strength and honor in their humanity instead of shame. Show them the sky and the light of a million stars and tell them our destiny. To walk amongst the stars and tame them. And teach them they need have no fear. For the Emperor protects. Always. Simply tell them what they wish to hear. What they know in the hearts to be true. Religions in this world use fear to enthrall their victims, take what should be natural and just and make it evil or sinful. O Anonymous 12/08/11(Thu)17:23 No.17147150 File1323383017.jpg-(720 KB, 1024x768, 1319998032296.jpg) >>17147135 Christ tells you you are sinful beyond redemption through no fault of your own. The Emperor tells you to be proud. You are human, perfect in form, perfect in mind. Nothing on the face of the world compares to you. You love, your joy, your anger and yes even your hate, is to be human. It is to be true to your nature. Christ offers you shame. The Emperor offers you pride in who you are. Allah expects mere obedience, yet what does he offer in return? Nothing, except sparing us his lash as long as we continue our obesiance. The Emperor asks for your loyalty, but only in his cause, that of all mankind, to build a better future. For that future he gave everything. What has Allah sacrificed?? What of the Hindu and Buddhists! They tell us this world is suffering. That to abandon hope and desire is the best a man can hope for. Lies. Every word. O Anonymous 12/08/11(Thu)17:25 No.17147167 File1323383129.jpg-(101 KB, 768x1024 , 646545.jpg) >>17147150 The future of mankind is the stars. It's unity throughout the skies, to see the wonders of the universe laid out before him. There is something special in all of us. The spark of life and joy and happiness. The human soul, pure and incorruptable. It's spirit burns brighter than a billion torches in teh dark, banishing the shadows of defeatism and gloom. Never listen to those who tell you that life is suffering and existence is meaningless. That way madness and decay lies I tell you this brothers, a message that needs telling more now than ever. It is a simple message, that should be heard in every coner of the globe, echoing from the highest mountain to the deepest oceans. We are HUMANITY. We have PURPOSE. WE ARE BROTHERS! All of us. Forget our petty wars and divisions, for the greater struggle lies out there, against a universe that has recognised our greatness and in it's fear seeks to destroy us. We can be united, The Emperor has shown us the way forward. Free from the lies of false prophets, the jealous falsehoods of dying gods, united in the great mission that lies ahead. O Anonymous 12/08/11(Thu)17:26 No.17147183 File1323383219.jpg-(42 KB, 200x444, Heresy2.jpg) >>17147167 There are some I know, that these words will not be enough. For fear and doubt still lie heavy on their hearts and souls. So this I say to you. The emperor watches over all of us. He is with us every moment. His strength is our strength. Guarding us. Protecting us whilst we do his holy work. Death when it comes has no power over the servants of the emperor, and when we die we shall sit in vigil at his side, watching over a better world we helped create. What more could a man ask? Let me tell you of my dreams brother. I dream of that terrible eye. The home of that most greatest evil. And I smile. "Why?" You might ask. Because in that all consuming darkness I see a star. A star brighter then any other. It grows and as it grows the darkness fades. And the star calls out. and then I see them. First the angels. The souls of the faithful, all marching in unison. With every step they take, the daemonic cry out in agony. And then see his armies. his Space Marines, His Inquisition, His Imperial Guard. the combined might of humanity all gathered together. All marching. The living and the dead. And then I see the dark gods themselves. And they are afraid. Remember what the Emperor has taught us, we are humanity and nothing can hope to stop us. O Anonymous 12/08/11(Thu)18:32 No.17147921 File1323387171.jng-(358 KB, 1276x1701, Emperorpsychic.jpg) Imperial Creed m-----------! Is there any other belief system/philosophy that tells you that you are capable of doing something and that you are good? Because every other belief system just plain s---- on you and your world view. You are either a sinner or a fool or unenlightened. Only Emperor reveals the fact that Humanity can go and do good without being shackled to fear and superstition.

manperor of mankind the god-emperor imperial creed the imperium of man warhammer 40000 wh 40k religion christianity allah hindu buddhist humanity human nature 4chan 1d4chan storytime chaos ave imperator