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/tg/ - Anon's First Exorcism

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O Anonymous Mon Apr 28 06:07:55 2014 No.31772599 Quoted by: >>31772856 >>31775015 >>31772351 >Be chaplain >Want to play a nonessential, RP role because I want to take the round easy and be semi-afk while I chat with people. >Get messaged by head of security >CULT ROUND! >Suddenly I'm MVP as I'm the only one who can deprogram cultists. >Need to go to brig to do exactly that. >Have never read the manual on chaplain. Have no idea w-- I'm doing. >Gather all my supplies and arrive in brig to find HOS and a prisoner cuffed to the chair. >HOS tells me to deprogram him >0-Okay.. >He leaves the room. >I figure the best way to succeed would be to use each of my tools as trial and error. >Start hitting him with the Bible until he's mentally retarded. >He starts screaming bloody murder, but his comm headset was taken away so no one can hear him. >He manages to uncuff from the chair and starts running around the room trying to evade me. >I catch him. >I take him to the bedroom and chain him to the bed. >Start beating him with the null rod until he's bloody. >Force-feed him about a gallon of holy water. >Figure that should have done the trick, ask him "Do you feel the love of Space Jesus yet?" >"F--- YOU" he replies >Keep beating him with the null rod. >HOS walks in and sees the bloody prisoner chained to the bed. >"WHAT THE F--- ARE YOU DOING!??" >He releases the prisoner, but not long after, 2 more prisoners are brought in. >Continue deprogramming them in a similar manner. >Eventually one of them escapes from the chair and starts running around the cell. >He takes off his pants and s---- on the floor. >Slip on the s---. >Get beaten to death by the null rod. Do you feel the love of Space నెలుUS Yet F--- YOU

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