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He should put some ice on that

tarclis: my sisters dad opened the freezer and a blob of ice fell on his foot and hurt him and he was like yelling and hopping and s--- and I was like hey maybe you should put some ice on that

tarclis: my sisters dad opened the freezer and a blob of ice fell on his foot and hurt him and he was like yelling and hopping and s--- and I was like hey maybe you should put some ice on that

sister dad freezer ice pun blob tarclis

before after slutfang: finally my child can safely ram her f------ head into a doorknob this is what the future is all about what a time to be alive Source: gucciballs

before after slutfang: finally my child can safely ram her f------ head into a doorknob this is what the future is all about what a time to be alive Source: gucciballs

before/after child safety doorknob

HEY GIRLS! DID YOu know You need to look like thisTo get this (: rosaparking i just threw up a little in my mouth

HEY GIRLS! DID YOu know You need to look like thisTo get this (: rosaparking i just threw up a little in my mouth

tumblr vomit brony fluttershy ryan gosling fedora hey girl

"I like eg9S. Who doesn't?" alien-sushi: he liked eggs so much he fertilized hers

"I like eg9S. Who doesn't?" alien-sushi: he liked eggs so much he fertilized hers

its-barack-o-llama australiansanta+ Source: oomshi lennstarkid cokeflow i physically hate waking up in the morning it's 8:51 pm not in my country stop time zone shaming wow zone shaming 42,547 notes はー

its-barack-o-llama australiansanta+ Source: oomshi lennstarkid cokeflow i physically hate waking up in the morning it's 8:51 pm not in my country stop time zone shaming wow zone shaming 42,547 notes はー

tumblr time time zone timezone

rainbowunicornsaremyfriends s ... + Source: hellisbehindthe hellisbehindthehorrific An abandoned babydoll underwater this is really scary but also the doll looks like it is playing a saxaphone 25,222 notes

rainbowunicornsaremyfriends s ... + Source: hellisbehindthe hellisbehindthehorrific An abandoned babydoll underwater this is really scary but also the doll looks like it is playing a saxaphone 25,222 notes

Source belle-morningstar Remember that time when the t mobile girl was really sweet but then virgin mobile made fun of her so t mobile stepped its s--- up it's like high school drama except with phone company's 251,755 notes

Source belle-morningstar Remember that time when the t mobile girl was really sweet but then virgin mobile made fun of her so t mobile stepped its s--- up it's like high school drama except with phone company's 251,755 notes

In social issues class today our professor held up a black book and was like "this book is red and we were all no" and he said yes it is" and we were just all "that's not right and he turned it around and the back cover was red and he said "Don't tell somebody theyre wrong until you've seen things from their point of view that speaks to me

In social issues class today our professor held up a black book and was like "this book is red and we were all no" and he said yes it is" and we were just all "that's not right and he turned it around and the back cover was red and he said "Don't tell somebody theyre wrong until you've seen things from their point of view that speaks to me

Orange

youhadmefromhellodean: laughter-everyday: brucelightyear thelandofwtf My cousin has an orange tree, this one came out different. Kill it. Kill it with fire is that the f------ alien from alien vs predator I think it's a leviathan

youhadmefromhellodean: laughter-everyday: brucelightyear thelandofwtf My cousin has an orange tree, this one came out different. Kill it. Kill it with fire is that the f------ alien from alien vs predator I think it's a leviathan

orange kill it with fire alien predator alien vs predator leviathan pareidolia

unicorn amber little-ball-of-f----you 273,084 theresinkinmyeyes w4sted-yOuth aredkay: this is true, cats, or any other pet in general, don't care at all about what you do, you can be a homicidal friendless person that hates everyone and wants to see everyone dead, and that cat will still love you no matter what. humans? they'd push you away and say you need "mental help" or that "you're sick", but pets will always be there for you. this is why can't wait to get back home to my dog. My cat literally does this all the time is one of the biggest reaso Source: damnafricawhatha

unicorn amber little-ball-of-f----you 273,084 theresinkinmyeyes w4sted-yOuth aredkay: this is true, cats, or any other pet in general, don't care at all about what you do, you can be a homicidal friendless person that hates everyone and wants to see everyone dead, and that cat will still love you no matter what. humans? they'd push you away and say you need "mental help" or that "you're sick", but pets will always be there for you. this is why can't wait to get back home to my dog. My cat literally does this all the time is one of the biggest reaso Source: damnafricawhatha

While you wait for the waiter, in that moment do you not become the waiter

While you wait for the waiter, in that moment do you not become the waiter

carry-on-my-wayward-butt one time i saw someone skipping rocks and eating a sandwich along the beach and idk he just tossed his sandwich in the water and bit the rock and he just stiffened a bit but i saw him dying inside after realizing what had just happened

carry-on-my-wayward-butt one time i saw someone skipping rocks and eating a sandwich along the beach and idk he just tossed his sandwich in the water and bit the rock and he just stiffened a bit but i saw him dying inside after realizing what had just happened

sandwich rock fail distracted dead inside

My mom just informed me that my first word was ""quote" so I'm going to make sure my last word before I die will be "unquote" you have been blessed with a rare and epic opportunity

My mom just informed me that my first word was ""quote" so I'm going to make sure my last word before I die will be "unquote" you have been blessed with a rare and epic opportunity

quote unquote first word final word setup

the spaghetto

dysenterygay asked my italian grandfather if the rough parts of Italy were called the spaghetto and look at me with so much shame.

dysenterygay asked my italian grandfather if the rough parts of Italy were called the spaghetto and look at me with so much shame.

spaghetti tumblr ghetto

fruitappreciation: omg apparently artificial banana flavoring is based on the gros michel banana which was wiped out by a banana plague in the 50s and the banana we eat today is a totally different thing called the cavendish and thats why banana candy doesnt taste like bananas do you know how lied to i feel. like there was a f------ banana apocalypse and no one told me about it until now

fruitappreciation: omg apparently artificial banana flavoring is based on the gros michel banana which was wiped out by a banana plague in the 50s and the banana we eat today is a totally different thing called the cavendish and thats why banana candy doesnt taste like bananas do you know how lied to i feel. like there was a f------ banana apocalypse and no one told me about it until now

banana plague history lesson apocalypse banana apocalypse banana candy

0 honey, I'm so sorry. You missed m so sorry the delivery. mherel baby ASSEMBLY EQUIRED But itls okay Making the 's the un part animalcrackersinmyblog OH MY GOD "MAKING THE BABY IS THE FUN PART" YOU SULTRY METAL VIXEN

0 honey, I'm so sorry. You missed m so sorry the delivery. mherel baby ASSEMBLY EQUIRED But itls okay Making the 's the un part animalcrackersinmyblog OH MY GOD "MAKING THE BABY IS THE FUN PART" YOU SULTRY METAL VIXEN

robots making the baby tumblr