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setup for the most perfect joke

blackfairypresident Y'all this old lady on Facebook got angry at me so she threatened to call my job and report my "rude" behavior to my boss. So she got my information from my page BlackGwinnett BG Are you still a cashier at The Krusty Krab Yesterday at 11:56 PM · Like BG BlackGwinnett I will be contacting your employer and your parents - relatives Yesterday at 11:57 PM . Like SHE GONNA TRY TO CALL MR.KRABS ON ME YALL SHE GONNA TRY TO CONTACT BIKINI BOTTOM ourspecial She is going to call a phone number and ask, "Is this the Krusty Krab?" And the person who answered the phone will have a choice to make. Source: blackfairypresi. 38,113 notes

blackfairypresident Y'all this old lady on Facebook got angry at me so she threatened to call my job and report my "rude" behavior to my boss. So she got my information from my page BlackGwinnett BG Are you still a cashier at The Krusty Krab Yesterday at 11:56 PM · Like BG BlackGwinnett I will be contacting your employer and your parents - relatives Yesterday at 11:57 PM . Like SHE GONNA TRY TO CALL MR.KRABS ON ME YALL SHE GONNA TRY TO CONTACT BIKINI BOTTOM ourspecial She is going to call a phone number and ask, "Is this the Krusty Krab?" And the person who answered the phone will have a choice to make. Source: blackfairypresi. 38,113 notes

facebook karen old people facebook mr krabs spongebob squarepants patrick is this the krusty krab krusty krab no this is patrick

Are... are you talking from experience?

paper-mario-wiki if u ever find a genie and you're really craving a dessert that looks like this: do NOT say "i'd like a lifetime supply of raspberry crowns" while this is, in fact, the name of the pastry, it's ALSO the name of a species of wasp for some reason. the genie, being a nasty trickster, will no doubt give you a bunch of wasps. shitload-of-muses this is an oddly specific post are you ok

paper-mario-wiki if u ever find a genie and you're really craving a dessert that looks like this: do NOT say "i'd like a lifetime supply of raspberry crowns" while this is, in fact, the name of the pastry, it's ALSO the name of a species of wasp for some reason. the genie, being a nasty trickster, will no doubt give you a bunch of wasps. shitload-of-muses this is an oddly specific post are you ok

genie raspberry crown wasps specific overly specific oddly specific namesake wish pastry

weather report

memewhore Weather AUTHORITY AccuWeather NEXT THREE DAYS METRO DETROIT TUE WED THU 67° 68° 69° LOTS OF SUN PLEASANT NICE FOX 2 6:32 54 setheverman nice

memewhore Weather AUTHORITY AccuWeather NEXT THREE DAYS METRO DETROIT TUE WED THU 67° 68° 69° LOTS OF SUN PLEASANT NICE FOX 2 6:32 54 setheverman nice

69 meme weather

That's very expensive bird food

kedreeva Today the lady behind me in line at the grocery store checkout politely tapped my shoulder and when I turned around she mo- tioned toward my giant bundles of kale and asked: "what do you do with your kale? Do you cook with it, or make juice, or..?" And i admitted there in front of god and the world "oh I feed it to my peacocks." And she just looked so taken aback that I said "I'm sorry that's not the answer you were hoping for" And that's how I learned other people don't really know what to do with kale either. We're all pretty sure it's edible, though. kedreeva People are sending me kale recipes like they honestly believe I will try to eat bird food Source: kedreeva

kedreeva Today the lady behind me in line at the grocery store checkout politely tapped my shoulder and when I turned around she mo- tioned toward my giant bundles of kale and asked: "what do you do with your kale? Do you cook with it, or make juice, or..?" And i admitted there in front of god and the world "oh I feed it to my peacocks." And she just looked so taken aback that I said "I'm sorry that's not the answer you were hoping for" And that's how I learned other people don't really know what to do with kale either. We're all pretty sure it's edible, though. kedreeva People are sending me kale recipes like they honestly believe I will try to eat bird food Source: kedreeva

kale story peacocks food

Wholesome...Right

klefable i love little kids that share too much information. today a girl came in with her mom to order food and i told her i liked her dress. she said "thanks my mom stole it from target" #oh okay 44,979 notes

klefable i love little kids that share too much information. today a girl came in with her mom to order food and i told her i liked her dress. she said "thanks my mom stole it from target" #oh okay 44,979 notes

too much information dress stole target

"things english speakers know, but don’t know we know."

basicallyanidiot 3 blackkatmagic Follow ... burntcopper Follow adjectives in English absolutely have to be in this order: opinion- size-age-shape-colour-origin-material-purpose Noun. So you can have a lovely little old rectangular green French silver whittling knife. But if you mess with that word order in the slightest you'll sound like a maniac. It's an odd thing that every English speaker uses that list, but almost none of us could write it out. And as size comes before colour, green great dragons can't exist. things english speakers know, but don't know we know. windycityteacher Follow WOAH WHAT? ice-light-red That is profound. I noticed this by accident when asked about adjectives by a Japanese student. She translated something from Japanese like "Brown big cat" and I corrected her. When she asked me why, I bluescreened. Source: burntc per 482,329 notes

basicallyanidiot 3 blackkatmagic Follow ... burntcopper Follow adjectives in English absolutely have to be in this order: opinion- size-age-shape-colour-origin-material-purpose Noun. So you can have a lovely little old rectangular green French silver whittling knife. But if you mess with that word order in the slightest you'll sound like a maniac. It's an odd thing that every English speaker uses that list, but almost none of us could write it out. And as size comes before colour, green great dragons can't exist. things english speakers know, but don't know we know. windycityteacher Follow WOAH WHAT? ice-light-red That is profound. I noticed this by accident when asked about adjectives by a Japanese student. She translated something from Japanese like "Brown big cat" and I corrected her. When she asked me why, I bluescreened. Source: burntc per 482,329 notes

tumblr english adjectives

snu snu at victorian era

Clayton Cubitt O @claytoncubitt YOU PROBABLY DIDN'T KNOW YOU NEEDED TO SEE PIX OF FLEXING VICTORIAN BABES BUT YOU DID 1:41 PM - 9/12/19 - Tweetbot for iOS

Clayton Cubitt O @claytoncubitt YOU PROBABLY DIDN'T KNOW YOU NEEDED TO SEE PIX OF FLEXING VICTORIAN BABES BUT YOU DID 1:41 PM - 9/12/19 - Tweetbot for iOS

twitter victorian victorian era muscle girls muscle women history memes wrong gallery biceps flexing buff girl

Jack Black

fistinginferno jack black is literally the only human that never needs any context for me. I could see him going anywhere and doing anything. like if i got abducted by aliens and saw him just wandering around the spaceship putting bugle chips on his fingers to make it look like he has claws i would be like “that's some classic jack black right there' and not even question it

fistinginferno jack black is literally the only human that never needs any context for me. I could see him going anywhere and doing anything. like if i got abducted by aliens and saw him just wandering around the spaceship putting bugle chips on his fingers to make it look like he has claws i would be like “that's some classic jack black right there' and not even question it

Life Isn't Fair

Humpback Wihale 85 is not happy. minmo: well life just isnt f------ fair is it humpback whale 85

Humpback Wihale 85 is not happy. minmo: well life just isnt f------ fair is it humpback whale 85

whale unfair aquarium zoo tycoon video game logic

Good Morning

targuzzler what if mayonnaise came in cans smeasel that would suck because you can't microwave metal... phisobi good morning to everyone except these two people

targuzzler what if mayonnaise came in cans smeasel that would suck because you can't microwave metal... phisobi good morning to everyone except these two people

Crabs

O slab-o-meat crabs are so gentle, they can be so kind. their claws? precise little things, so careful in the sand, so careful with food. they do what they must to live and wave their claws to express their joy to the world for giving so much to them, for giving such kindness to these creatures known as crabs. please be gentle to crabs slab-o-meat i was on. a new sleep medication last night

O slab-o-meat crabs are so gentle, they can be so kind. their claws? precise little things, so careful in the sand, so careful with food. they do what they must to live and wave their claws to express their joy to the world for giving so much to them, for giving such kindness to these creatures known as crabs. please be gentle to crabs slab-o-meat i was on. a new sleep medication last night

Captchas

sagihairius CAPTCHA 1: check this box CAPTCHA 2: select all the rivers CAPTCHA 3: which of these tiny pictures has an apple in it CAPTCHA 4: can you find where you went wrong in your life CAPTCHA 5: select the reasons why my wife left me

sagihairius CAPTCHA 1: check this box CAPTCHA 2: select all the rivers CAPTCHA 3: which of these tiny pictures has an apple in it CAPTCHA 4: can you find where you went wrong in your life CAPTCHA 5: select the reasons why my wife left me

The 1904 Olympic Marathon

weaver-z Follow If you ever, and I mean EVER think that you f----- something up royally, remember that the organizers of the 1904 Olympic marathon: - Had zero stations for water on the 26 mile (42 km) course - Accidentally gave North American competitor Tom Hicks a cocktail made of egg whites, brandy, and actual f------ rat poison - Had a guy come into the race late wearing a beret and cutoff slacks, sneak into an apple orchard during the race because no food had been given to him for 40 hours, eat rotten apples, projectile vomit onto the track, fall asleep for hours, and finish in fourth place OVERALL because most of the other runners collapsed of exhaustion or injuries - Conducted the race on a dusty road, which caused so much dust to be kicked into the air that an American runner somehow inhaled enough to tear his STOMACH LINING open - Accidentally released feral dogs onto the track - F----- the other competitors up SO BADLY that Tom Hicks-the guy who ate RAT POISON and was HALLUCINATING the entire run-came in first place postmarxed Follow #me at work on wednesdays specifically

weaver-z Follow If you ever, and I mean EVER think that you f----- something up royally, remember that the organizers of the 1904 Olympic marathon: - Had zero stations for water on the 26 mile (42 km) course - Accidentally gave North American competitor Tom Hicks a cocktail made of egg whites, brandy, and actual f------ rat poison - Had a guy come into the race late wearing a beret and cutoff slacks, sneak into an apple orchard during the race because no food had been given to him for 40 hours, eat rotten apples, projectile vomit onto the track, fall asleep for hours, and finish in fourth place OVERALL because most of the other runners collapsed of exhaustion or injuries - Conducted the race on a dusty road, which caused so much dust to be kicked into the air that an American runner somehow inhaled enough to tear his STOMACH LINING open - Accidentally released feral dogs onto the track - F----- the other competitors up SO BADLY that Tom Hicks-the guy who ate RAT POISON and was HALLUCINATING the entire run-came in first place postmarxed Follow #me at work on wednesdays specifically

Good Job

This guy in my political science class was watching a Bob Ross video and following along in MS Paint freshfresh666 ok honestly... this is cute akoolguy he's doing a good job

This guy in my political science class was watching a Bob Ross video and following along in MS Paint freshfresh666 ok honestly... this is cute akoolguy he's doing a good job

Furniture

O catchymemes Got a live feed camera so I could see what my dogs are up to while I'm at work 2019/03/11 10:01:20 injuries-in-dust I'm gonna guess that they aren't normally allowed to sit on the furniture.

O catchymemes Got a live feed camera so I could see what my dogs are up to while I'm at work 2019/03/11 10:01:20 injuries-in-dust I'm gonna guess that they aren't normally allowed to sit on the furniture.

An Insult

Christian 10 mins t The guy who scored for Algeria is called Isiam Slimani. I don't understand why parents have to push their religion onto their children like that! Like Comment Share O Lucy and Hanna like this. Paul 6 mins Like Christian 5 mins Like |Paul instructions on the heel |Yeah-You're absolutly right CHRISTIAN Why did you capitalize my name like that? OMG-You'd struggle to pour water out of a boot with the Just now Like burdenedwithgloriousassbutt: sassy-gay-justice: "You'd struggle to pour water out of a boot with the instructions on the heel" God DAMN thats some Shakespearean s--- right there your url makes this even more beautiful

Christian 10 mins t The guy who scored for Algeria is called Isiam Slimani. I don't understand why parents have to push their religion onto their children like that! Like Comment Share O Lucy and Hanna like this. Paul 6 mins Like Christian 5 mins Like |Paul instructions on the heel |Yeah-You're absolutly right CHRISTIAN Why did you capitalize my name like that? OMG-You'd struggle to pour water out of a boot with the Just now Like burdenedwithgloriousassbutt: sassy-gay-justice: "You'd struggle to pour water out of a boot with the instructions on the heel" God DAMN thats some Shakespearean s--- right there your url makes this even more beautiful