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Skeleton brings all the boys to the yard

gaydelgard Follow ... May 30 if you are the type of person to tell a girl to stop driving around with an adult sized plastic skeleton strapped into the backseat of her car do not imagine even for one second that you could ever score a girl who would drive around with an adult sized plastic skeleton in the backseat of her car gaydelgard he said it would "scare the kids" children love my skeleton gaydelgard woman rolled her window down at the stoplight today to tell me how much her kids were LOVING the skeleton gaydelgard children love me, tumblr users want me carnally. for my skeleton.

gaydelgard Follow ... May 30 if you are the type of person to tell a girl to stop driving around with an adult sized plastic skeleton strapped into the backseat of her car do not imagine even for one second that you could ever score a girl who would drive around with an adult sized plastic skeleton in the backseat of her car gaydelgard he said it would "scare the kids" children love my skeleton gaydelgard woman rolled her window down at the stoplight today to tell me how much her kids were LOVING the skeleton gaydelgard children love me, tumblr users want me carnally. for my skeleton.

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Faster please

wolfythewitch 17h ago Follow This too shall pass but like holy fi

wolfythewitch 17h ago Follow This too shall pass but like holy fi

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It's the same

slimetony Anybody know any good substitutes for love and personal fulfillment usbdongle crunchwrap supreme from taco bell

slimetony Anybody know any good substitutes for love and personal fulfillment usbdongle crunchwrap supreme from taco bell

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We had it good

SOCHI 2014 000 REPLAY NEXT purplerupees Mario and Sonic at the Sochi 2014 Olympic Winter Games is such a great game. It lets me live out my wildest fantasy. ichikun born to make history

SOCHI 2014 000 REPLAY NEXT purplerupees Mario and Sonic at the Sochi 2014 Olympic Winter Games is such a great game. It lets me live out my wildest fantasy. ichikun born to make history

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This is wholesome

hula-hope-deactivated20130831 My grandpa has Alzheimer's so he has no idea who my grandma is but everyday for the last three or four months he brings her in flowers from their garden and asks her to run away with him and be his wife and everyday she says she already is and everyday the smile my grandpa gets on his face is the most beautiful heartfelt thing I have ever seen. crvnchwrapsvpreme Oh god

hula-hope-deactivated20130831 My grandpa has Alzheimer's so he has no idea who my grandma is but everyday for the last three or four months he brings her in flowers from their garden and asks her to run away with him and be his wife and everyday she says she already is and everyday the smile my grandpa gets on his face is the most beautiful heartfelt thing I have ever seen. crvnchwrapsvpreme Oh god

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It's true

papayajuan2019 Follow 2d ago the world is full of insecure overachievers. have you tried being a secure underachiever? you'll have more life in you that way

papayajuan2019 Follow 2d ago the world is full of insecure overachievers. have you tried being a secure underachiever? you'll have more life in you that way

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Yep

yourfavecharacterisqueer Follow hypothetical scenario for you all: the real king arthur returns. you meet him and you welcome him into your home. what is the first thing you do with him? keep in mind, this is a man from the 500s (he died in 542), and you are from the 21st century (2024). drsarcasticraspberry ❤ Follow 1. explain what a TV is 2. Monty Python and the Holy Grail #i just think he'd get a solid chuckle out of it 18,681 notes D 3

yourfavecharacterisqueer Follow hypothetical scenario for you all: the real king arthur returns. you meet him and you welcome him into your home. what is the first thing you do with him? keep in mind, this is a man from the 500s (he died in 542), and you are from the 21st century (2024). drsarcasticraspberry ❤ Follow 1. explain what a TV is 2. Monty Python and the Holy Grail #i just think he'd get a solid chuckle out of it 18,681 notes D 3

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The Incredibles

L 00 DO lustyscripps: ruinedchildhood: too-gay-for-this He has Monsters inc. on his shirt. She has Nemo on her dress. Violet has murder in her eyes. k

L 00 DO lustyscripps: ruinedchildhood: too-gay-for-this He has Monsters inc. on his shirt. She has Nemo on her dress. Violet has murder in her eyes. k

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Permission granted

wizardarchetypes Jul 1 i'm at a party right now and i heard someone on a walkie talkie and i turned around and it's a mom who left her kids home on their own for the first time ever (they're old enough) and they live a few houses down so she gave them a walkie talkie to call her if they get nervous. they just walkietalkied her for permission to eat ice cream wizardarchetypes Jul 1 she told them they can stay up and read for 30 more minutes wizardarchetypes Jul 1 casualswords Today at 10:21 PM (MASTER CHIEF VOICE) SIR. PERMISSION TO EAT ICE CREAM

wizardarchetypes Jul 1 i'm at a party right now and i heard someone on a walkie talkie and i turned around and it's a mom who left her kids home on their own for the first time ever (they're old enough) and they live a few houses down so she gave them a walkie talkie to call her if they get nervous. they just walkietalkied her for permission to eat ice cream wizardarchetypes Jul 1 she told them they can stay up and read for 30 more minutes wizardarchetypes Jul 1 casualswords Today at 10:21 PM (MASTER CHIEF VOICE) SIR. PERMISSION TO EAT ICE CREAM

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Walking the corpse

No worries! I'm out walking く THE corpse 1 1 2 3 45 6 7 8 90 AL auto suggest bewilders me biglawbear Follow No worries! I'm out walking THE corpse D D

No worries! I'm out walking く THE corpse 1 1 2 3 45 6 7 8 90 AL auto suggest bewilders me biglawbear Follow No worries! I'm out walking THE corpse D D

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I like the oversharers

half of college professors are like "you can know nothing about me except my name" and the other half are like "and that's why my wife left me! anyway what's up with y'all" thebaconsandwichofregret There were two professors like this in my department and I was one of like 20 people who was taught by both of them so there was a very small gang of us who knew that Professor Brick Wall and Professor Overshare were married with two kids. squilf i once told my lecturer i liked his sweater vest and he said "thank you, it ended my relationship" Source: dankmemeuniversity 148,175 notes D ① I don't know who's worse

half of college professors are like "you can know nothing about me except my name" and the other half are like "and that's why my wife left me! anyway what's up with y'all" thebaconsandwichofregret There were two professors like this in my department and I was one of like 20 people who was taught by both of them so there was a very small gang of us who knew that Professor Brick Wall and Professor Overshare were married with two kids. squilf i once told my lecturer i liked his sweater vest and he said "thank you, it ended my relationship" Source: dankmemeuniversity 148,175 notes D ① I don't know who's worse

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Nailed it

smokingpotatostuff 20m ago Wait is Mr beast an actual person?? I always just assumed that was a strawman hypothetical of like. Worst possible stereotypical famous youtuber D

smokingpotatostuff 20m ago Wait is Mr beast an actual person?? I always just assumed that was a strawman hypothetical of like. Worst possible stereotypical famous youtuber D

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A common problem

dragon-in-a-fez Follow you know what I love that the one consistent moral lesson of the horror film genre is "you didn't listen to your kids when they f told you what was happening and for that you are going to die"

dragon-in-a-fez Follow you know what I love that the one consistent moral lesson of the horror film genre is "you didn't listen to your kids when they f told you what was happening and for that you are going to die"

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It's so bad

rintezukas Follow i say this every time i have to mow a lawn but literally mowing lawn is the most wasteful miserable task human beings are expected to do on a regular basis for no pay except for i guess ones i dont know about or am forgetting rintezukas like its comedically bad you take a big horrible loud machine that belches smoke and you drive it over the plants you deliberately keep in your yard whenever they look too happy and alive and the machine hurts them and cuts down the flowers and kills whatever tiny animals are hiding in the grass that cant get away and kicks dust and dirt into the air and when the area youre using the machine on looks like s again youre done

rintezukas Follow i say this every time i have to mow a lawn but literally mowing lawn is the most wasteful miserable task human beings are expected to do on a regular basis for no pay except for i guess ones i dont know about or am forgetting rintezukas like its comedically bad you take a big horrible loud machine that belches smoke and you drive it over the plants you deliberately keep in your yard whenever they look too happy and alive and the machine hurts them and cuts down the flowers and kills whatever tiny animals are hiding in the grass that cant get away and kicks dust and dirt into the air and when the area youre using the machine on looks like s again youre done

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Fossilize

bone-free-as-the-wind Follow Fossil of dragonfly larva or I don't know. arcticarthropod Follow __(ツ)_/¯ salamandarsoup Follow Guess I'll Fossilize 35.9K notes D F

bone-free-as-the-wind Follow Fossil of dragonfly larva or I don't know. arcticarthropod Follow __(ツ)_/¯ salamandarsoup Follow Guess I'll Fossilize 35.9K notes D F

fossile insect guess i'll die pareidolia

The bean jar

dr. ron of the pepper palace @ronaldravegan when i was a young boy my father had what he called the bean jar. it was a jar full of brown and black beans. whenever we misbehaved, he would remove one and tell us that once the jar was empty, the world would end 7/25/18, 9:58 PM 922 Retweets 6,374 Likes whitepeopletwitter The bean jar barreboy [My Chemical Romance voice]: When I was.... a young boy... my Father... had what he called the bean jar... <

dr. ron of the pepper palace @ronaldravegan when i was a young boy my father had what he called the bean jar. it was a jar full of brown and black beans. whenever we misbehaved, he would remove one and tell us that once the jar was empty, the world would end 7/25/18, 9:58 PM 922 Retweets 6,374 Likes whitepeopletwitter The bean jar barreboy [My Chemical Romance voice]: When I was.... a young boy... my Father... had what he called the bean jar... <

parenting apocalypse my chemical romance