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Night at the Museum is underrated

E goddessofidiocy okay but why don't more people talk about Night at the Museum like poc characters and people being portrayed by poc people this movie is so good and it has one of the funniest, best, most ridiculous friendships in movie history and you have Robin Williams as Teddy Roosevelt I mean and if all that didn't convince you there's also a t-Rex skeleton that playa fetch with one of its own ribs THIS MOVIE e cosplayer-m DON'T FORGET THE QUIRKY AND FUNNY IMMORTAL VILLAIN SQUAD LED BY D--- VAN D--- OR THE EASTER ISLAND HEAD THAT LOVED BUBBLEGUM (or, as he called it, gum-gum) OR THE FACT THAT THEIR HISTORICALLY-ACCURATE CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DIDN"T SPEAK ENGLISH

E goddessofidiocy okay but why don't more people talk about Night at the Museum like poc characters and people being portrayed by poc people this movie is so good and it has one of the funniest, best, most ridiculous friendships in movie history and you have Robin Williams as Teddy Roosevelt I mean and if all that didn't convince you there's also a t-Rex skeleton that playa fetch with one of its own ribs THIS MOVIE e cosplayer-m DON'T FORGET THE QUIRKY AND FUNNY IMMORTAL VILLAIN SQUAD LED BY D--- VAN D--- OR THE EASTER ISLAND HEAD THAT LOVED BUBBLEGUM (or, as he called it, gum-gum) OR THE FACT THAT THEIR HISTORICALLY-ACCURATE CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DIDN"T SPEAK ENGLISH

night at the museum

A Vampire and his Human Wife After Years of Marriage

<a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/tumblr/comments/p3zd6p/sometimes_vampire_romance_is_just_plain_old_cute/">Alternate Reddit post</a>

<a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/tumblr/comments/p3zd6p/sometimes_vampire_romance_is_just_plain_old_cute/">Alternate Reddit post</a>

vampire human wife marriage

Monster assigned to scare child after every other monster quit...

writing-prompt-s You're in charge of assigning every child on Earth the monster under their bed. One child in particular has caused every monster assigned to him/her to quit. You decide to assign yourself. kittenwiskers Case: #273402 Status: Disastrous. I stare at the file and realize I have no options, over the last 2 years every monster assigned to Charlotte Dower has quit, every last one. Her first monster; a giant goldfish-faced humanoid named Bubba, had been with her for four years, and then she wasn't scared of him anymore. After that it was a string of different common, uncommon, and rare monsters... I even assigned a sentient sock monster to her. He came back crying! I look on my tablet, only one assignable monster left; myself. Field work has never been my cup of tea, but desperate times call for desperate measures. So at 8:03 pm, after Mrs. Gideon tucks in Charlotte and her little brother Daniel; I slither into the space beneath Charlotte's bed. Across the room underneath Daniel's crib is a rookie, Chico, a standard Creep kind of monster. I turn my attention to the bed above me, Charlotte is still awake but barely, I reach up over the bed and run an ice cold finger over her cheek, silence, so l do it again. "I'm not afraid of you monster!" She whispers, but her voice is shaking. I can see a small clock on the wall 8:14, a door somewhere in the house slams and there is an audible hitch of breath from above me. A few minutes go by I can hear Francis Gideon yelling at his wife. There are heavy footsteps on the stairs, and loud panting breaths, Charlotte scrambles off the bed and... She. CRAWLS. Under. The. Bed. With. Ме. "Move. Over!" Charlotte hisses at me. I do. The door to the bedroom slams open and I smell the stench of human intoxicants before the man even steps inside. I know why Charlotte isn't afraid of any of my monsters; she's afraid of her own. Francis reaches a hand under the bed and I thrust my wrist into it, he starts to pull, I slither out. "What the.." I cut Francis's next words off by unfolding to my full 12 foot height. Looming over the drunken man I caress my cold fingers down his face. "If you ever touch, scare, or harm my child again, I will find you, and I will do the same to you, for all eternity." | promise to him. As Francis runs from the room he soils himself. I pull Charlotte from under the bed, tuck her back under her covers and kiss her forehead goodnight. "I'll be back tomorrow night, sleep well darling." Charlotte Dower is my child, I am the monster under her bed.

writing-prompt-s You're in charge of assigning every child on Earth the monster under their bed. One child in particular has caused every monster assigned to him/her to quit. You decide to assign yourself. kittenwiskers Case: #273402 Status: Disastrous. I stare at the file and realize I have no options, over the last 2 years every monster assigned to Charlotte Dower has quit, every last one. Her first monster; a giant goldfish-faced humanoid named Bubba, had been with her for four years, and then she wasn't scared of him anymore. After that it was a string of different common, uncommon, and rare monsters... I even assigned a sentient sock monster to her. He came back crying! I look on my tablet, only one assignable monster left; myself. Field work has never been my cup of tea, but desperate times call for desperate measures. So at 8:03 pm, after Mrs. Gideon tucks in Charlotte and her little brother Daniel; I slither into the space beneath Charlotte's bed. Across the room underneath Daniel's crib is a rookie, Chico, a standard Creep kind of monster. I turn my attention to the bed above me, Charlotte is still awake but barely, I reach up over the bed and run an ice cold finger over her cheek, silence, so l do it again. "I'm not afraid of you monster!" She whispers, but her voice is shaking. I can see a small clock on the wall 8:14, a door somewhere in the house slams and there is an audible hitch of breath from above me. A few minutes go by I can hear Francis Gideon yelling at his wife. There are heavy footsteps on the stairs, and loud panting breaths, Charlotte scrambles off the bed and... She. CRAWLS. Under. The. Bed. With. Ме. "Move. Over!" Charlotte hisses at me. I do. The door to the bedroom slams open and I smell the stench of human intoxicants before the man even steps inside. I know why Charlotte isn't afraid of any of my monsters; she's afraid of her own. Francis reaches a hand under the bed and I thrust my wrist into it, he starts to pull, I slither out. "What the.." I cut Francis's next words off by unfolding to my full 12 foot height. Looming over the drunken man I caress my cold fingers down his face. "If you ever touch, scare, or harm my child again, I will find you, and I will do the same to you, for all eternity." | promise to him. As Francis runs from the room he soils himself. I pull Charlotte from under the bed, tuck her back under her covers and kiss her forehead goodnight. "I'll be back tomorrow night, sleep well darling." Charlotte Dower is my child, I am the monster under her bed.

monster bed child writing prompt child abuse monster under the bed

ohhhhhhh THIS is the gunch

moonimbued Follow ohhhhhhh THIS is the gunch

moonimbued Follow ohhhhhhh THIS is the gunch

dog tumblr post green hair dye little puppy shampoo dyed getting bathed grunch grinch oh gunch bath

ninety-nine-five: of all the stations in the valley, we're one of them!

Its certainly one of the radio stations to exist

Its certainly one of the radio stations to exist

radio station were valley them southwest usa announcer post south west

THE LOUDEST AND LONGEST bong hit i have ever heard

"my mom's boyfriend is pressing assault charges against me." why "for assaulting him"

"my mom's boyfriend is pressing assault charges against me." why "for assaulting him"

rip tumblr post overwatch multi player game moms

Please allow me to consult my two colleagues.......

vampirepsychology Please allow me to consult my two colleagues..

vampirepsychology Please allow me to consult my two colleagues..

post colleagues cat statue cheetah 2 cats leopard

ganbatte roomba-san roomba san ganbatte

E you-only-liberate-once my host mom in Japan referred to her Roomba as "Roomba-san" and when it would get stuck she would just look over it and softly say "ganbatte, Roomba- san.ganbatte" as it made distressed beeping noises at her whoopsrobots "Ganbatte: Cheer up, Be courageous, Do your best" Source: you-only-liberate-once 151,556 notes

E you-only-liberate-once my host mom in Japan referred to her Roomba as "Roomba-san" and when it would get stuck she would just look over it and softly say "ganbatte, Roomba- san.ganbatte" as it made distressed beeping noises at her whoopsrobots "Ganbatte: Cheer up, Be courageous, Do your best" Source: you-only-liberate-once 151,556 notes

tumblr post host in japan stuck beeping noises roombasan

Combatting Fear

nurse-peach im crying.. im watching this vet show and someone had moved from australia to china and everyone was afraid of his dog because she was so big but the vet put her in a lil panda hoodie and no one was scared anymore and some people even came up to pet her.. nurse-peach look at her..

nurse-peach im crying.. im watching this vet show and someone had moved from australia to china and everyone was afraid of his dog because she was so big but the vet put her in a lil panda hoodie and no one was scared anymore and some people even came up to pet her.. nurse-peach look at her..

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I See the Similarities

halles-comet Last week I joked that my very cerebral, retired- police-chief-grandpa is basically Holt from Brooklyn 99 and then today someone said, "damn, we're out of decaf" and he just deadpans "well there's no need to get hysterical." halles-comet Yesterday he said "if you need to insult the same person twice you've already failed in your goal to devastate them" halles-comet My Yaya was trying to remember the name of a guy who stole money from her in high school today and my grandpa instantly pipes up "his name was Bernie Ryan and he was a scoundrel" 94,396 notes

halles-comet Last week I joked that my very cerebral, retired- police-chief-grandpa is basically Holt from Brooklyn 99 and then today someone said, "damn, we're out of decaf" and he just deadpans "well there's no need to get hysterical." halles-comet Yesterday he said "if you need to insult the same person twice you've already failed in your goal to devastate them" halles-comet My Yaya was trying to remember the name of a guy who stole money from her in high school today and my grandpa instantly pipes up "his name was Bernie Ryan and he was a scoundrel" 94,396 notes

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Wildlife vs Pokemon

REI A tilthat TIL that in 2002, a researcher found that the average 8-year-old British child could identify 80% of Pokémon, but only 50% of common wildlife species via reddit.com sirobvious Common wildlife species don't normally yell their names at you

REI A tilthat TIL that in 2002, a researcher found that the average 8-year-old British child could identify 80% of Pokémon, but only 50% of common wildlife species via reddit.com sirobvious Common wildlife species don't normally yell their names at you

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Batman

moxperidot self care is [incredibly unhealthy behaviour] and [implausible feat] internet-recluse Self care is blaming yourself for your parents death and taking on multiple opponents in unarmed combat whilst dressed as a bat.

moxperidot self care is [incredibly unhealthy behaviour] and [implausible feat] internet-recluse Self care is blaming yourself for your parents death and taking on multiple opponents in unarmed combat whilst dressed as a bat.

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Who Else Calls It Macaroni Sauce?

marzipanandminutiae scars in fiction: I got this trying to save my lover from an assassin- but tragically, I was too late. now I carry the mark of my failure with me always, and I can never forget~ scars in real life: so I was trying to open macaroni sauce with a paring knife 55,772 notes

marzipanandminutiae scars in fiction: I got this trying to save my lover from an assassin- but tragically, I was too late. now I carry the mark of my failure with me always, and I can never forget~ scars in real life: so I was trying to open macaroni sauce with a paring knife 55,772 notes

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You Know That Feeling?

shakespork i love it when youre drinking citrus drinks and you cant feel your tongue and your entire face starts sweating its so cleansing shakespork my doctor said im allergic to citrus

shakespork i love it when youre drinking citrus drinks and you cant feel your tongue and your entire face starts sweating its so cleansing shakespork my doctor said im allergic to citrus

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The Plot Thickens

BAD JOKES badjokesbyjeff BY JEFF The owner of a seafood restaurant sends one of his sons undercover to his rival's restaurant The owner tells him to get a job as a cook, and figure out the recipe for his rival's famous clam chowder. The first day, the son comes home with a basic list of ingredients that the rival uses. They try making it, but it doesn't turn out the same. The owner sends him back. The second day, the son comes home having watched the rival chef prepare the chowder. They try again to make it, and it's close, but the consistency is off, it's too watery. They try to figure out what they're doing wrong, and the son realizes that he was distracted for a minute while the chef did something. "He must have added a secret ingredient, one not on the list, while you looked away!" concludes the owner. He sends his son back for a third day, this time telling him not to take his eyes off the chef for a second. The son comes back the next day excited. "You'll never believe what I saw!" he says. "He did have a secret ingredient, it's a piece of paper!" "A piece of paper?" "Yeah, he keeps a stack of printed paper in the kitchen. It's a bunch of Wikipedia articles he's printed out, of various movies. When he makes the chowder, he tears out the synopsis of a movie from one of the articles and puts it in. It's the strangest thing, but that's the secret ingredient." "Ah," says the owner, "the plot thickens." meltingiguess goddammit jeff 2,429 notes ...

BAD JOKES badjokesbyjeff BY JEFF The owner of a seafood restaurant sends one of his sons undercover to his rival's restaurant The owner tells him to get a job as a cook, and figure out the recipe for his rival's famous clam chowder. The first day, the son comes home with a basic list of ingredients that the rival uses. They try making it, but it doesn't turn out the same. The owner sends him back. The second day, the son comes home having watched the rival chef prepare the chowder. They try again to make it, and it's close, but the consistency is off, it's too watery. They try to figure out what they're doing wrong, and the son realizes that he was distracted for a minute while the chef did something. "He must have added a secret ingredient, one not on the list, while you looked away!" concludes the owner. He sends his son back for a third day, this time telling him not to take his eyes off the chef for a second. The son comes back the next day excited. "You'll never believe what I saw!" he says. "He did have a secret ingredient, it's a piece of paper!" "A piece of paper?" "Yeah, he keeps a stack of printed paper in the kitchen. It's a bunch of Wikipedia articles he's printed out, of various movies. When he makes the chowder, he tears out the synopsis of a movie from one of the articles and puts it in. It's the strangest thing, but that's the secret ingredient." "Ah," says the owner, "the plot thickens." meltingiguess goddammit jeff 2,429 notes ...

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YA Love Triangles

phemiec Follow YA books: There are 2 boys, the protagonist girl HAS to date one, but how can she choose? They are so incredibly different in every way! The boys:

phemiec Follow YA books: There are 2 boys, the protagonist girl HAS to date one, but how can she choose? They are so incredibly different in every way! The boys:

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