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Sick burn

Alix E. Harrow @AlixEHarrow having been told that it's rude to call dinner "gross," our 4yo is finding increasingly creative ways to express himself "this tastes.......unlucky to me" "this sends my mouth into outer space. (that's bad)" "cauliflower is"--[pinches fingers together]--"this much delicious" transenbyhollis Follow you told your toddler not to be rude and so now he is developing an incredible skill with sick burns
Alix E. Harrow @AlixEHarrow having been told that it's rude to call dinner "gross," our 4yo is finding increasingly creative ways to express himself "this tastes.......unlucky to me" "this sends my mouth into outer space. (that's bad)" "cauliflower is"--[pinches fingers together]--"this much delicious" transenbyhollis Follow you told your toddler not to be rude and so now he is developing an incredible skill with sick burns

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Lawn

bartlbye Follow putting a different country's flag on my lawn to make it harder for geoguesser players to guess where they are postpostirony Follow "Lawn" United States
bartlbye Follow putting a different country's flag on my lawn to make it harder for geoguesser players to guess where they are postpostirony Follow "Lawn" United States

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Funny and sad

imeverywoman420 Follow Nov 20, 2022 Nov 20, 2022. 2 months ago Having an abusive parent is kinda funny in retrospect like mommy why do you have beef with me im 4 i love you teaboot Follow 1d ago Haters (my dad) can't stand to see a bad b winning ("drawing too loud") gildedproblems Follow 1d ago How do you draw too loud? (me, nine years old) teaboot Follow 1d ago Well you see the thing is that child abuse is inherently irrational 24,506 notes D 1
imeverywoman420 Follow Nov 20, 2022 Nov 20, 2022. 2 months ago Having an abusive parent is kinda funny in retrospect like mommy why do you have beef with me im 4 i love you teaboot Follow 1d ago Haters (my dad) can't stand to see a bad b winning ("drawing too loud") gildedproblems Follow 1d ago How do you draw too loud? (me, nine years old) teaboot Follow 1d ago Well you see the thing is that child abuse is inherently irrational 24,506 notes D 1

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Someone get on this

forgotn1 I'll never understand why Disney is so focused on live-action remakes when they literally own the rights to the Muppets. I would take a Muppet remake of a Disney Animation classic over a live-action remake all day every day. magic-and-moonlit-wings Muppet Beauty and the Beast where the Beast is played by the only human actor and he turns into a Muppet at the end. ckerouac The Beast should be a conventionally attractive actor whom the Muppet townspeople continually call hideous until true love releases him from this curse and he shows true beauty - blue felt and plastic eyes.
forgotn1 I'll never understand why Disney is so focused on live-action remakes when they literally own the rights to the Muppets. I would take a Muppet remake of a Disney Animation classic over a live-action remake all day every day. magic-and-moonlit-wings Muppet Beauty and the Beast where the Beast is played by the only human actor and he turns into a Muppet at the end. ckerouac The Beast should be a conventionally attractive actor whom the Muppet townspeople continually call hideous until true love releases him from this curse and he shows true beauty - blue felt and plastic eyes.

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/r/tumblr tumblr memes text posts the muppets disney

Sweet revenge...

amygdalan-arm Follow. Keying/graffiti-ing someones car is old news now if someone cheats we go at their wardrobe with a seam ripper
amygdalan-arm Follow. Keying/graffiti-ing someones car is old news now if someone cheats we go at their wardrobe with a seam ripper

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Same vibe

mclennony Follow Apr 23 ( The Bolter Taylor Swift There's escape in escaping mclennon iO Apr 23 i mean. no st mclennony Apr 23 Anonymous said thergs noodles in my spagheti 50.7K notes D О 17
mclennony Follow Apr 23 ( The Bolter Taylor Swift There's escape in escaping mclennon iO Apr 23 i mean. no st mclennony Apr 23 Anonymous said thergs noodles in my spagheti 50.7K notes D О 17

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Just wait for it

pussiesaregod Follow Sep 30 once i beat the depression and the burnout and the anxiety and the loneliness and the exhaustion and the guilt and the awkwardness and the apathy and the low income and the chronic illness and the impatience and the vulnerability and the creative block and the capitalism and the cruelty THEN you'll see
pussiesaregod Follow Sep 30 once i beat the depression and the burnout and the anxiety and the loneliness and the exhaustion and the guilt and the awkwardness and the apathy and the low income and the chronic illness and the impatience and the vulnerability and the creative block and the capitalism and the cruelty THEN you'll see

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Useless...

humaneflies Follow this machine is useless Search Google Maps Canada nton SASKATCHEWAN pirate treasure gold coins treasure chest doubloons treasure ary MANITOBA ONTARIO QUEBEC Winnipeg NORTH DAKOTA MONTANA NO MINNESOTA Ottawa Montréal MAINE SOUTH DAKOTA WISCONSIN NOV Toronto MICHIGAN VT NH WYOMING NEW YORK IOWA Chicago Boston NEBRASKA ILLINOIS OHIO PENN UTAH United States INDIANA New York Washington COLORADO KANSAS WEST MISSOURI VIRGINIA This area No traffic information to display s Vegas San Diego OKLAHOMA ARKANSAS ARIZONA NEW MEXICO Dallas MISSISSIPPI KENTUCKY VIRGINIA TENNESSEE NORTH CAROLINA SOUTH CAROLINA ALABAMA TEXAS GEORGIA LOUISIANA
humaneflies Follow this machine is useless Search Google Maps Canada nton SASKATCHEWAN pirate treasure gold coins treasure chest doubloons treasure ary MANITOBA ONTARIO QUEBEC Winnipeg NORTH DAKOTA MONTANA NO MINNESOTA Ottawa Montréal MAINE SOUTH DAKOTA WISCONSIN NOV Toronto MICHIGAN VT NH WYOMING NEW YORK IOWA Chicago Boston NEBRASKA ILLINOIS OHIO PENN UTAH United States INDIANA New York Washington COLORADO KANSAS WEST MISSOURI VIRGINIA This area No traffic information to display s Vegas San Diego OKLAHOMA ARKANSAS ARIZONA NEW MEXICO Dallas MISSISSIPPI KENTUCKY VIRGINIA TENNESSEE NORTH CAROLINA SOUTH CAROLINA ALABAMA TEXAS GEORGIA LOUISIANA

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Now now...

ryebreadgf Follow not now, kitten. daddy's a shell of his former self
ryebreadgf Follow not now, kitten. daddy's a shell of his former self

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Brutal

akashicrecord Follow 6 year old asked me why i dont like mr beast and i didnt have an answer that a small child could understand so i said he tried to eat a homeless person a long time ago littlefirefly42 Follow Spreading misinformation to children because you don't believe they're mature enough to understand a topic is actually not a good thing. At all. punkitt-is-here Follow it's true tho he ate that homeless person up. He went yum yum and it was brutal
akashicrecord Follow 6 year old asked me why i dont like mr beast and i didnt have an answer that a small child could understand so i said he tried to eat a homeless person a long time ago littlefirefly42 Follow Spreading misinformation to children because you don't believe they're mature enough to understand a topic is actually not a good thing. At all. punkitt-is-here Follow it's true tho he ate that homeless person up. He went yum yum and it was brutal

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It's probably none

viva-1a-resistance Follow i really love the phrase "with all due respect" because it doesn't specify how much respect is due. could be none. b ☐ 104.4K notes D D
viva-1a-resistance Follow i really love the phrase "with all due respect" because it doesn't specify how much respect is due. could be none. b ☐ 104.4K notes D D

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Get it?

anonymous asked Guess what? I invented a new word: Plagiarism Wh good--mens good--mens I'm reblogging this because I just got the joke
anonymous asked Guess what? I invented a new word: Plagiarism Wh good--mens good--mens I'm reblogging this because I just got the joke

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When does it end?

pawgliacci 601 on Follow At the end of my rope and it keeps getting longer like some sort of clown handkerchief bit?
pawgliacci 601 on Follow At the end of my rope and it keeps getting longer like some sort of clown handkerchief bit?

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I hate it

i-am-a-fish Oct 24 I'm currently testing the limits of my antidepressants by rewatching Breaking Bad i-am-a-fish Oct 25 unrelated can someone please reply with an image of a dog or something and also please tell me that Jesse Pinkman is going to be okay? no rush but I'd like this as soon as possible please honeyedheartss☺ Follow Oct 25 you are going to be OK ok so I definitely misread your post but by the time I realized the image was made i-am-a-fish Oct 25 = this image has done irreparable damage to my mind 19,821 notes
i-am-a-fish Oct 24 I'm currently testing the limits of my antidepressants by rewatching Breaking Bad i-am-a-fish Oct 25 unrelated can someone please reply with an image of a dog or something and also please tell me that Jesse Pinkman is going to be okay? no rush but I'd like this as soon as possible please honeyedheartss☺ Follow Oct 25 you are going to be OK ok so I definitely misread your post but by the time I realized the image was made i-am-a-fish Oct 25 = this image has done irreparable damage to my mind 19,821 notes

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Wait, what?

teslacoils-and-hubris Follow Dec 25, 2023 No it's not that I don't appreciate the flirting, I just wish you wouldn't do it while I'm in the middle of vivisecting you. Yes I know that it's really hot when I'm covered in your blood elbow deep in your chest cavity that's why I keep vivisecting you. But I keep getting flustered and dropping your liver and its really slippery so I keep dropping it over and over again leading to very comedic slapstick comedy where I slip on your blood and fall over really funny 15,199 notes D
teslacoils-and-hubris Follow Dec 25, 2023 No it's not that I don't appreciate the flirting, I just wish you wouldn't do it while I'm in the middle of vivisecting you. Yes I know that it's really hot when I'm covered in your blood elbow deep in your chest cavity that's why I keep vivisecting you. But I keep getting flustered and dropping your liver and its really slippery so I keep dropping it over and over again leading to very comedic slapstick comedy where I slip on your blood and fall over really funny 15,199 notes D

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Ah, polls

tlirsgender Seguir The poll feature really took off because it taps into tumblr's favorite activity: being extremely opinionated about things that don't matter dragonprincessmew 134.729 notas -I will die on any hill. Seguir D
tlirsgender Seguir The poll feature really took off because it taps into tumblr's favorite activity: being extremely opinionated about things that don't matter dragonprincessmew 134.729 notas -I will die on any hill. Seguir D

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Priorities

toastella-art Surprised you Yeah Im haven't HOLY SPIDERMAN gone to therapy since your dad died- Assured a real life moment between my boyfriend and i
toastella-art Surprised you Yeah Im haven't HOLY SPIDERMAN gone to therapy since your dad died- Assured a real life moment between my boyfriend and i

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Rock and roll

schizoauthoress Today I learned that Van Halen have that rider in their contract about "a bowl of M&Ms with all the brown ones removed" in order to know at a glance if the promoter read the entire contract. And the reason they do THAT is because they once had a stage collapse because a promoter hadn't read the proper way to set up all the specific technical stuff. So if the band goes in the dressing room or catering and sees brown M&Ms, they know they have to double-check the stage setup for safety. lunaesteria now that's rock n roll
schizoauthoress Today I learned that Van Halen have that rider in their contract about "a bowl of M&Ms with all the brown ones removed" in order to know at a glance if the promoter read the entire contract. And the reason they do THAT is because they once had a stage collapse because a promoter hadn't read the proper way to set up all the specific technical stuff. So if the band goes in the dressing room or catering and sees brown M&Ms, they know they have to double-check the stage setup for safety. lunaesteria now that's rock n roll

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Valid

pukicho We are a very very dumb, stupid people Blaze 5,840 notes
pukicho We are a very very dumb, stupid people Blaze 5,840 notes

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This is accurate

macklesufficient Follow guide 4 teens tell the cops nothing tell the paramedics everything ur eyebrows are fine 090 89,249 notes
macklesufficient Follow guide 4 teens tell the cops nothing tell the paramedics everything ur eyebrows are fine 090 89,249 notes

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/r/oddlyspecific oddly specific suspiciously specific