Twitter / X - Images

Sorted By:

i hate this school

Lola's perfect @daddylola77 y'all be like “i hate this school A00" with two majors and seven minors 99 7:07 PM · Sep 14, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 332 Retweets 106 Quote Tweets 4,670 Likes

Lola's perfect @daddylola77 y'all be like “i hate this school A00" with two majors and seven minors 99 7:07 PM · Sep 14, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 332 Retweets 106 Quote Tweets 4,670 Likes

i hate this school school high school student teacher meme memes

Big Bird got the vaccine

Yeet The Elite @whimsical_turd Centrists be like “both sides are silly" like bro one side is fighting with Big Bird right now 5:14 PM - Nov 8, 2021 - Twitter for iPhone 12.3K Retweets 301 Quote Tweets 96.8K Likes Kierangs @Kierangs1 · 20h Replying to @whimsical_turd and @jesmoocalf Yes but we've got to acknowledge that Big Bird sits dead center between the left-wing and the right-wing O 28 27 107 2.9K

Yeet The Elite @whimsical_turd Centrists be like “both sides are silly" like bro one side is fighting with Big Bird right now 5:14 PM - Nov 8, 2021 - Twitter for iPhone 12.3K Retweets 301 Quote Tweets 96.8K Likes Kierangs @Kierangs1 · 20h Replying to @whimsical_turd and @jesmoocalf Yes but we've got to acknowledge that Big Bird sits dead center between the left-wing and the right-wing O 28 27 107 2.9K

covid 19 republican democrat centrist big bird seasme street vaccines right wing left wing wings bird pun

Neo Puritans Casually Explained

Moc || I Love You || 18+ @monoocularcat A child walks into a pub. Legally they're not supposed to be there without a p/g. They're most definitely not allowed to drink alcohol. The child demands everyone in the pub only drink soft drinks too, on the basis that seeing adults drinking alcohol in a pub will harm them. 5:41 AM · Mar 15, 2021 · Twitter for Android

Moc || I Love You || 18+ @monoocularcat A child walks into a pub. Legally they're not supposed to be there without a p/g. They're most definitely not allowed to drink alcohol. The child demands everyone in the pub only drink soft drinks too, on the basis that seeing adults drinking alcohol in a pub will harm them. 5:41 AM · Mar 15, 2021 · Twitter for Android

twitter allegory child pub alcohol censorship puritanism

You Are Now Entering Twitter

YOU ARE NOW ENTERING TWITTER

YOU ARE NOW ENTERING TWITTER

diablo twitter apu apustaja

God fears penguins

Kellen @captainkalvis me: how come penguins can't fly zookeeper: their bodies are too heav- me: is it because god fears them zookeeper: what? me: did god make them heavy birds because they're his only weakness zookeeper: [whispering] shut your f------ mouth if you know what's good for u 7:14 PM · 2019-06-04 · Twitter Web Client

Kellen @captainkalvis me: how come penguins can't fly zookeeper: their bodies are too heav- me: is it because god fears them zookeeper: what? me: did god make them heavy birds because they're his only weakness zookeeper: [whispering] shut your f------ mouth if you know what's good for u 7:14 PM · 2019-06-04 · Twitter Web Client

penguins god zoo zookeeper white people twitter

Virgo Moment

gonna stop telling ppl im autistic, it just alienates me more! now ill say “im overwhelmed & leaving this party where everyone is drunk, it smells like febreeze + cat litter... because im a Virgo" theyd be like “YESSS EARTH SIGN!!! Go Home and alphabetize something, Queen!" 1:21 PM · 2021-08-14 · Twitter for iPhone

gonna stop telling ppl im autistic, it just alienates me more! now ill say “im overwhelmed & leaving this party where everyone is drunk, it smells like febreeze + cat litter... because im a Virgo" theyd be like “YESSS EARTH SIGN!!! Go Home and alphabetize something, Queen!" 1:21 PM · 2021-08-14 · Twitter for iPhone

suspiciously specific sus specific oddly specific

We All Have Those Neighbors

The older hippy couple next door who invite you over for reiki and vegan food, but just feed you psytrance and ketamine and ask if you'll be their unicorn.

The older hippy couple next door who invite you over for reiki and vegan food, but just feed you psytrance and ketamine and ask if you'll be their unicorn.

suspiciously specific sus specific oddly specific

What Kind of Study Was This?

GUFF OFACTS facts by Guff A study showed that sober rats prefer silence, but rats on cocaine prefer Jazz music.

GUFF OFACTS facts by Guff A study showed that sober rats prefer silence, but rats on cocaine prefer Jazz music.

suspiciously specific sus specific oddly specific

Feetus

harley * @persephonetic can u imagine being pregnant and doing an ultrasound and you ask the doctor if its a boy or a girl and he says idk bro and shows you the sonogram and its just a large human foot with an umbilical cord attached to the sole and then your husband just laughs and says haha feetus 3:52 PM 24 Feb 19 · Twitter for Android

harley * @persephonetic can u imagine being pregnant and doing an ultrasound and you ask the doctor if its a boy or a girl and he says idk bro and shows you the sonogram and its just a large human foot with an umbilical cord attached to the sole and then your husband just laughs and says haha feetus 3:52 PM 24 Feb 19 · Twitter for Android

suspiciously specific sus specific oddly specific

Can Confirm

ben mekler O @benmekler Gen Z will never understand growing up with parents who basically poured a gallon of milk into your body with a funnel every day because Big Milk told them that if we didn't drink enough our bones would go soft and we'd turn into pudding people and get kidnapped at the mall 1:15 PM · 22 May 21 · Twitter for iPhone

ben mekler O @benmekler Gen Z will never understand growing up with parents who basically poured a gallon of milk into your body with a funnel every day because Big Milk told them that if we didn't drink enough our bones would go soft and we'd turn into pudding people and get kidnapped at the mall 1:15 PM · 22 May 21 · Twitter for iPhone

suspiciously specific sus specific oddly specific

Don't We All Though

Sometimes I fantasize about being a Golden retriever in an upper class white family somewhere in Maine.

Sometimes I fantasize about being a Golden retriever in an upper class white family somewhere in Maine.

suspiciously specific sus specific oddly specific

The I-Want-to-Mate Dance

Bro is my professor ok Quiz: Practico tor Exam 3 Prezygotic Sympatric Semipatric Postzygotic Homeotic Question 52 1 pts You're at a club, doing your best "I-want-to-mate" dance, but nobody wants to dance with you because they don't understand what your dance is supposed to mean. Instead of mating. you go home depressed, eat a half-gallon of ice cream and wash it down with a fifth of vodka. This is a small-scale example of: O Behavioral isolation O Mechanical isolation O Temporal isolation

Bro is my professor ok Quiz: Practico tor Exam 3 Prezygotic Sympatric Semipatric Postzygotic Homeotic Question 52 1 pts You're at a club, doing your best "I-want-to-mate" dance, but nobody wants to dance with you because they don't understand what your dance is supposed to mean. Instead of mating. you go home depressed, eat a half-gallon of ice cream and wash it down with a fifth of vodka. This is a small-scale example of: O Behavioral isolation O Mechanical isolation O Temporal isolation

suspiciously specific sus specific oddly specific

This Pizza Order

THO Mediums 1st Pizza: Pepperoni 1st Pizza: Sausage 2nd Pizza: Canadian Bacon 2nd Pizza: Pineapple Qustomer Request: Crust a little crisper than normal. But not too crispy.. if thats not vague enough- nake it like youre taking revenge on a cheat ing boyfriend, BUT you still Hant to reconcile in the not so distant future. 17.99 Qustomer Request: The gate is tricky, please don't break it. & the spider on the porch is called Frank. Be nice to Frank, he guards the tomatoes, Subtotal: 17.99 Tax: 1.73 Deliyery Chg: 2.55

THO Mediums 1st Pizza: Pepperoni 1st Pizza: Sausage 2nd Pizza: Canadian Bacon 2nd Pizza: Pineapple Qustomer Request: Crust a little crisper than normal. But not too crispy.. if thats not vague enough- nake it like youre taking revenge on a cheat ing boyfriend, BUT you still Hant to reconcile in the not so distant future. 17.99 Qustomer Request: The gate is tricky, please don't break it. & the spider on the porch is called Frank. Be nice to Frank, he guards the tomatoes, Subtotal: 17.99 Tax: 1.73 Deliyery Chg: 2.55

suspiciously specific sus specific oddly specific

Wyoming

KB @kbnoswag People from Wyoming are in my mentions insulting me for dissing their state yesterday and I'm just imagining them furiously riding a horse to a McDonald's in Utah just so they could get wifi and tweet at me 12:17 PM · 1/11/19 · Twitter for iPhone 7,000 Retweets 98.9K Likes >

KB @kbnoswag People from Wyoming are in my mentions insulting me for dissing their state yesterday and I'm just imagining them furiously riding a horse to a McDonald's in Utah just so they could get wifi and tweet at me 12:17 PM · 1/11/19 · Twitter for iPhone 7,000 Retweets 98.9K Likes >

suspiciously specific sus specific oddly specific

British Cooking Shows

soul nate @MNateShyamalan british cooking shows: tell us about this wee tart youve made, the crust is just lovely american cooking shows: we've replaced your knives with philips head screwdrivers & released raccoons in the kitchen. the clock is set for 30 seconds, please bake us peace in the middle east

soul nate @MNateShyamalan british cooking shows: tell us about this wee tart youve made, the crust is just lovely american cooking shows: we've replaced your knives with philips head screwdrivers & released raccoons in the kitchen. the clock is set for 30 seconds, please bake us peace in the middle east

suspiciously specific sus specific oddly specific

We Have Some Questions

Piano (free, not haunted, pickup only) - $1 (Lutz) image 1 of 4 Free piano (you pick it up). Lester circa 1966. Lutz area. Not possessed or haunted in any way. Tuned less than 24 months ago; played by human hands -6 minutes since. Not a player piano - does not play by itself. Comes with bench. Has wheels. Please take this out of my home.

Piano (free, not haunted, pickup only) - $1 (Lutz) image 1 of 4 Free piano (you pick it up). Lester circa 1966. Lutz area. Not possessed or haunted in any way. Tuned less than 24 months ago; played by human hands -6 minutes since. Not a player piano - does not play by itself. Comes with bench. Has wheels. Please take this out of my home.

suspiciously specific sus specific oddly specific

Cookies

Sooz @CruisinSoozan I'm not sure how many cookies it takes to be happy, but so far it's not twenty seven. 10:31 PM : 15 Jul 19 · Twitter for iPhone

Sooz @CruisinSoozan I'm not sure how many cookies it takes to be happy, but so far it's not twenty seven. 10:31 PM : 15 Jul 19 · Twitter for iPhone

suspiciously specific sus specific oddly specific

Don't Let Your Kids Eat It

Check your kids Halloween candy carefully. Someone tried to hide The S.S. Edmund Fitzgerald, pride of the great lakes fleet.

Check your kids Halloween candy carefully. Someone tried to hide The S.S. Edmund Fitzgerald, pride of the great lakes fleet.

suspiciously specific sus specific oddly specific

Vegas Ain't Ready

Arslan ... @thega1nz Dudes be like "Vegas ain't ready for us" like Vegas ain't ever seen 4 dudes in a Macy's button down split a room at Golden Nugget & wait 3 hours in the club line just to drink a bud light, post a story and then lose $35 on a BlackJack table on the way back to the room

Arslan ... @thega1nz Dudes be like "Vegas ain't ready for us" like Vegas ain't ever seen 4 dudes in a Macy's button down split a room at Golden Nugget & wait 3 hours in the club line just to drink a bud light, post a story and then lose $35 on a BlackJack table on the way back to the room

suspiciously specific sus specific oddly specific

Wii Sports Was the Best

nataleigh @natisnotlame it's so sad that's kids will never know the simple pleasure of playing Wii Sports tennis on a Saturday afternoon in 2006 while you parents yell about getting a divorce in the other room

nataleigh @natisnotlame it's so sad that's kids will never know the simple pleasure of playing Wii Sports tennis on a Saturday afternoon in 2006 while you parents yell about getting a divorce in the other room

suspiciously specific sus specific oddly specific