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where's the tracking number?

I want my first born to be a mail child Keep us posted
I want my first born to be a mail child Keep us posted

Twitter / X
mail baby funny tweet spelling fail

Young Existential Anxiety


Twitter / X
funny tweet student loan rap name rapper student loan debt

Are you gonna take that or.....?

Caroline SAMPSON @caroline4real Money aside, what do you need right now? Lo Candice Wenu ... @Candee_Leigh The money you just put aside
Caroline SAMPSON @caroline4real Money aside, what do you need right now? Lo Candice Wenu ... @Candee_Leigh The money you just put aside

Twitter / X
funny tweet money cash broke poor

Pack as if you're planning to piss yourself every single day

Michael in Los Angeles @Home_Halfway Me regularly: *uses the same 3 things at home* Me packing for vacation: I wonder if l'll need 4 French horns or 5.
Michael in Los Angeles @Home_Halfway Me regularly: *uses the same 3 things at home* Me packing for vacation: I wonder if l'll need 4 French horns or 5.

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funny tweet packing vacation vacationing change of clothes clothes french horn preparation

so smooth

Spookzy @DitzyFlama mf hasnt unlocked this cow yet xoup @Xouped ·1d why is this cow so CRISP Show this thread
Spookzy @DitzyFlama mf hasnt unlocked this cow yet xoup @Xouped ·1d why is this cow so CRISP Show this thread

Twitter / X
cow animal

17.3 Follower E-Girl / 84 Follower BF

84 follower bf 17.3k follower e-girl
84 follower bf 17.3k follower e-girl

Twitter / X
the gf and the bf twitter follower count toguro ghost fighter

Which will you choose?

anime tim @PostinMonkey After turning 35, men must make a decision; to either get really into World War 2 history, or really into smoking various meats
anime tim @PostinMonkey After turning 35, men must make a decision; to either get really into World War 2 history, or really into smoking various meats

Twitter / X
funny tweet men 35 dads interests world war ii history grilling grill bbq

champions of the modern world

Logan @NeverLostout Still being single at 32 just means I statistically avoided my first divorce. Randy Valerio @RandyTValerio Still being single at 38 means I avoided my second divorce too...Back-to-back world champ
Logan @NeverLostout Still being single at 32 just means I statistically avoided my first divorce. Randy Valerio @RandyTValerio Still being single at 38 means I avoided my second divorce too...Back-to-back world champ

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divorce marriage

pink colored

Rachel McConnell @Minette_78 Well this is a new one Prove You're Human Traditionally, what colour is poo? I SEND MESSAGE >
Rachel McConnell @Minette_78 Well this is a new one Prove You're Human Traditionally, what colour is poo? I SEND MESSAGE >

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poop human funny tweet

and other fruits and veggies

danny @dsemumi Cleaning out your fridge is such a humiliating experience. you bought these plums and you didn't eat them in time. you absolute failure. you miserable p------------
danny @dsemumi Cleaning out your fridge is such a humiliating experience. you bought these plums and you didn't eat them in time. you absolute failure. you miserable p------------

Twitter / X
fridge funny tweet

buff pillsbury

gabe @Syruhhh "what are you laughing at on ur phone" How the actual f--- am I supposed to explain to you why I am laughing at this PIlsbury Pilsbury Pry
gabe @Syruhhh "what are you laughing at on ur phone" How the actual f--- am I supposed to explain to you why I am laughing at this PIlsbury Pilsbury Pry

Twitter / X
pillsbury twitter meme

A doctor's greatest enemy...

FROVO @fro_vo FLIGHT ATTENDANT: help is there a doctor on board DOCTOR: *rushing forward* yes i'm a doctor FLIGHT ATTENDANT: oh thank god this man is choking on an apple DOCTOR: *backing away* oh no no no no no
FROVO @fro_vo FLIGHT ATTENDANT: help is there a doctor on board DOCTOR: *rushing forward* yes i'm a doctor FLIGHT ATTENDANT: oh thank god this man is choking on an apple DOCTOR: *backing away* oh no no no no no

Twitter / X
funny tweet airplane flying doctor an apple a day doctor on board doctor on this flight

I never asked for any of this

fightgeek @fightgeek 5000yrs ago one of your ancestors dug up a shiny rock and now you owe verizon $1247.00 10:32 PM · 2020-11-14 · Twitter for iPhone
fightgeek @fightgeek 5000yrs ago one of your ancestors dug up a shiny rock and now you owe verizon $1247.00 10:32 PM · 2020-11-14 · Twitter for iPhone

Twitter / X
funny tweet history ancestors verizon bills

Wish management on point.

Kenj1090 22 hours ago Genie:I am the all-powerful Genie of the Lamp! I am here to grant you three wishes! Me:I wish Twitter never existed. Genie:.Ill give you that for free. You still have three wishes. Show less It 1.8K REPLY View 38 replies
Kenj1090 22 hours ago Genie:I am the all-powerful Genie of the Lamp! I am here to grant you three wishes! Me:I wish Twitter never existed. Genie:.Ill give you that for free. You still have three wishes. Show less It 1.8K REPLY View 38 replies

Twitter / X
genie 3 wishes

Tech enthusiasts vs. Tech workers

Pranay Pathole ... @PPathole Tech enthusiasts: My entire house is smart. Tech workers: The only piece of technology in my house is a printer and I keep a gun next to it so I can shoot it if it makes a noise I don't recognize. 8:51 AM - Apr 12, 2019 - Twitter for iPhone 7,387 Retweets 656 Quote Tweets 23.8K Likes
Pranay Pathole ... @PPathole Tech enthusiasts: My entire house is smart. Tech workers: The only piece of technology in my house is a printer and I keep a gun next to it so I can shoot it if it makes a noise I don't recognize. 8:51 AM - Apr 12, 2019 - Twitter for iPhone 7,387 Retweets 656 Quote Tweets 23.8K Likes

Twitter / X
pranay pathole printer gun internet of things

Hypocrisy much, Kirk Mc(KK)Keand?

Kirk McKeand @MckKirk Replying to @Daley_Kong Gamers don't deserve games 3:24 AM Apr 4, 2021 - Twitter for iPhone Kirk McKeand @MckKirk Editor-in-Chief: @thegamerwebsite | Former Deputy Editor: VG247 | Email: kirk.m@thegamer.com Lincoln, England S thegamer.com Joined July 2012 3,156 Following 10.3K Followers Followed by MovieBob Productions Hyp crisy much, McKKKeand?
Kirk McKeand @MckKirk Replying to @Daley_Kong Gamers don't deserve games 3:24 AM Apr 4, 2021 - Twitter for iPhone Kirk McKeand @MckKirk Editor-in-Chief: @thegamerwebsite | Former Deputy Editor: VG247 | Email: kirk.m@thegamer.com Lincoln, England S thegamer.com Joined July 2012 3,156 Following 10.3K Followers Followed by MovieBob Productions Hyp crisy much, McKKKeand?

Twitter / X
twitter gamers kirk mckeand video game journalism video game journalists thegamer hypocrisy

POV: you're a japanese artist and americans just found your art.

POV: you're a japanese artist and americans just found your art. 00
POV: you're a japanese artist and americans just found your art. 00

Twitter / X
yakuza diapers big baby twitter

What does this even mean?

Lemonade. ... .... @GLASSOFLEMONADE What does this even mean? lesplusbellesfemmesdafrique @Real Toons 2021 10:14 PM · Apr 6, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone
Lemonade. ... .... @GLASSOFLEMONADE What does this even mean? lesplusbellesfemmesdafrique @Real Toons 2021 10:14 PM · Apr 6, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone

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goob glassoflem0nade lesplusbellesfemmesdafrique real_toons michael yagoobian questionable davian chester

The science of relativity

Aaron @aaronadams1997 Never feel bad about eating unhealthy things like cheesecake. Use the science of relativity. Cheesecake is healthier than crystal meth. Take another slice and be thankful.
Aaron @aaronadams1997 Never feel bad about eating unhealthy things like cheesecake. Use the science of relativity. Cheesecake is healthier than crystal meth. Take another slice and be thankful.

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funny tweet science relativity cheesecake

I'd sit in the sun for 2 mins after applying sunscreen for her

Ryan Reynolds @VancityReynolds Following I'd walk through fire for my daughter. Well not FIRE, because it's dangerous. But a super humid room. But not too humid, because my hair. RETWEETS LIKES 25,148 44,783
Ryan Reynolds @VancityReynolds Following I'd walk through fire for my daughter. Well not FIRE, because it's dangerous. But a super humid room. But not too humid, because my hair. RETWEETS LIKES 25,148 44,783

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funny tweet ryan reynolds