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it's work in progress | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 101 KB JPG 05/16/19(Thu)23:40:06 No.52456512 >DUDE WE GOTTA DO SOMETHING ABOUT GLOBAL WARMING 215 Replies / 24 Images View Thread : Anonymous >>52456512 (OP) # Don't worry friend I am doing my best to speed it up. 05/17/19(Fri)08:19:46 No.52461575

Anonymous 101 KB JPG 05/16/19(Thu)23:40:06 No.52456512 >DUDE WE GOTTA DO SOMETHING ABOUT GLOBAL WARMING 215 Replies / 24 Images View Thread : Anonymous >>52456512 (OP) # Don't worry friend I am doing my best to speed it up. 05/17/19(Fri)08:19:46 No.52461575

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Anon gives Tinder a try | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 56486795 27.3 KB JPG >Be me >Try Tinder >Get like 10 female matches 50 min. ago >Some talk to me but end up ghosting after exchanging 3 messages >Some don't even reply >Remain stagnant for the following wek, get no matches whatsoever >Try to switch to both guys and girls >Get over 99+ matches suddendly every guy in my area wants to f--- me for some reason For f--- sake. REPLY

Anonymous | 56486795 27.3 KB JPG >Be me >Try Tinder >Get like 10 female matches 50 min. ago >Some talk to me but end up ghosting after exchanging 3 messages >Some don't even reply >Remain stagnant for the following wek, get no matches whatsoever >Try to switch to both guys and girls >Get over 99+ matches suddendly every guy in my area wants to f--- me for some reason For f--- sake. REPLY

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A Bite of Regret | /r/Greentext

Anonymous COPERTA WEERSTA 60 KB JPG 11/20/23(Mon)10:05:25 No.75479324 >eat a wrong type of food >don't fall asleep for 4 hours after lying down that following night I am so f------ tired of this.

Anonymous COPERTA WEERSTA 60 KB JPG 11/20/23(Mon)10:05:25 No.75479324 >eat a wrong type of food >don't fall asleep for 4 hours after lying down that following night I am so f------ tired of this.

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Anon wants a “normal” thread | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/20/23(Mon)15:32:57 No.909634307 What the f--- is wrong with this place? I've been visiting these threads for a week now and so far I have: 1. Had my life threatened by someone claiming to be an ex-Navy Seal 2. Been told in multiple paragraphs that I will never have ovaries or be a woman 3. Been called Rabbi more times than I can count Every time I try to get a genuine response from any of you people when I address what I have been told, I'm either called an n-word or k*ke, and am then told to "dilate", "glow" or "kill myself". Can we please have just a normal thread where we can talk about memes without racist slurs and the weird terminology?! What the hell is a sneed anyway?

Anonymous 11/20/23(Mon)15:32:57 No.909634307 What the f--- is wrong with this place? I've been visiting these threads for a week now and so far I have: 1. Had my life threatened by someone claiming to be an ex-Navy Seal 2. Been told in multiple paragraphs that I will never have ovaries or be a woman 3. Been called Rabbi more times than I can count Every time I try to get a genuine response from any of you people when I address what I have been told, I'm either called an n-word or k*ke, and am then told to "dilate", "glow" or "kill myself". Can we please have just a normal thread where we can talk about memes without racist slurs and the weird terminology?! What the hell is a sneed anyway?

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Were the gods stupid? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/19/23(Sun)19:55:28 No.192277621 153 KB JPG >get sentenced to death in a court of law >can end up free if you agree to a fight to the death and win >can get someone else to fight for you who came up with this garbage?

Anonymous 11/19/23(Sun)19:55:28 No.192277621 153 KB JPG >get sentenced to death in a court of law >can end up free if you agree to a fight to the death and win >can get someone else to fight for you who came up with this garbage?

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Anon’s verb causes malfunction | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 163 KB JPG 11/20/23(Mon)15:55:00 No.909632476 >c-- (verb) >15 minutes later, feel like peeing >pee >right at the end a quick burst comes >give it a hard burst >FFFFFUUUUUUCCCCKKKKK >felt like an arrow pierced through the rip of my d--- >pain >pain >pain >can't control the bladder for the next 3 hours >every time I pee in those 3 hours, d--- hurts like it's getting shredded What the f--- is happening to my d---?

Anonymous 163 KB JPG 11/20/23(Mon)15:55:00 No.909632476 >c-- (verb) >15 minutes later, feel like peeing >pee >right at the end a quick burst comes >give it a hard burst >FFFFFUUUUUUCCCCKKKKK >felt like an arrow pierced through the rip of my d--- >pain >pain >pain >can't control the bladder for the next 3 hours >every time I pee in those 3 hours, d--- hurts like it's getting shredded What the f--- is happening to my d---?

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Anon is attractive | /r/Greentext

:Anonymous did i find a way of making jer(...) 1.52 MB PNG > MFW it's strangely liberating + hot? > Accidentally nut to photos of myself as anime girl > Anon.exe has encountered a moral dilemma Anonymous 11/20/23(Mon)15:57:55 No.909629983 > Be me > Steal GF's clothes for the lulz > Clothes weirdly comfy, not gonna lie > Decide to strike poses, take selfies > Discover gender-swap app > Transform edited photo into anime girl Is this weird, or am I just living my best life? Need /b/'s wisdom... >>909629983 (OP) # kys 11/20/23(Mon)15:58:55 No.909630035

:Anonymous did i find a way of making jer(...) 1.52 MB PNG > MFW it's strangely liberating + hot? > Accidentally nut to photos of myself as anime girl > Anon.exe has encountered a moral dilemma Anonymous 11/20/23(Mon)15:57:55 No.909629983 > Be me > Steal GF's clothes for the lulz > Clothes weirdly comfy, not gonna lie > Decide to strike poses, take selfies > Discover gender-swap app > Transform edited photo into anime girl Is this weird, or am I just living my best life? Need /b/'s wisdom... >>909629983 (OP) # kys 11/20/23(Mon)15:58:55 No.909630035

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anon goes ghost hunting | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 50 KB JPG 02/07/21(Sun)17:55:47 No.846818515 >go ghost hunting with friends >using go pro to record >dont really see anything spooky >next day go over footage >about 1 hour and 15 minutes in notice a figure in a window >spooked.gif >looks like a f----- >call friends to show then the ghost f----- in the window >they look >tell me that it is a mirror and the 'ghost' is my reflection Could it really be? That I was the f----- in the window?

: Anonymous 50 KB JPG 02/07/21(Sun)17:55:47 No.846818515 >go ghost hunting with friends >using go pro to record >dont really see anything spooky >next day go over footage >about 1 hour and 15 minutes in notice a figure in a window >spooked.gif >looks like a f----- >call friends to show then the ghost f----- in the window >they look >tell me that it is a mirror and the 'ghost' is my reflection Could it really be? That I was the f----- in the window?

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Dream Reels | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 23 KB JPG 11/20/23(Mon)12:08:20 No.75480259 >have a dream where I'm watching a movie >wake up before the movie ends >will never be able to finish the movie because it doesn't exist in real life damn it

Anonymous 23 KB JPG 11/20/23(Mon)12:08:20 No.75480259 >have a dream where I'm watching a movie >wake up before the movie ends >will never be able to finish the movie because it doesn't exist in real life damn it

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Trapped in Pretense | /r/Greentext

11/20/23(Mon)11:02:00 No.75479667 >"Just be yourself" >"It's your personality that's the problem!" Are these not contradictory statements? I already am being myself, so it's my personality that's the problem? Then logically I shouldn't be myself it being myself hasn't gotten me anywhere. Okay, so who should I be then? What personality do I masquerade as? Anonymous when I'm in a socialising competition created to help me talk to people Brul him to tak 249 KB JPG

11/20/23(Mon)11:02:00 No.75479667 >"Just be yourself" >"It's your personality that's the problem!" Are these not contradictory statements? I already am being myself, so it's my personality that's the problem? Then logically I shouldn't be myself it being myself hasn't gotten me anywhere. Okay, so who should I be then? What personality do I masquerade as? Anonymous when I'm in a socialising competition created to help me talk to people Brul him to tak 249 KB JPG

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Examining Entitlement | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Women are evil and p 11/20/23(Mon)13:59:28 No.75481449 102 KB JPG >Be 28 year old roastie with 6 year old son >luck out with guy who treats her with respect, takes care of her son as his own, and splurges on her occasionally >Be mad that he's only 5'8 (around average male height), only wears jeans and shirts (like a normal person), and likes to keep his hair longer than most men >he proposes >think you're "settling" >asks reddit whether or not if you should reject him or not How f------ entitled can you be?

Anonymous Women are evil and p 11/20/23(Mon)13:59:28 No.75481449 102 KB JPG >Be 28 year old roastie with 6 year old son >luck out with guy who treats her with respect, takes care of her son as his own, and splurges on her occasionally >Be mad that he's only 5'8 (around average male height), only wears jeans and shirts (like a normal person), and likes to keep his hair longer than most men >he proposes >think you're "settling" >asks reddit whether or not if you should reject him or not How f------ entitled can you be?

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The Penitent's Voice | /r/Greentext

АНОНИМНЫЙ Lost the will to fap 102 KB PNG 11/20/23(Mon)12:49:44 No.909621064 >be me >virgin college student, but have kissed and hugged >hit bars about five times last week >spent last two nights in a row trying meet girls at bars >manage to kiss a qt3.14 but her hamplanet orbiter was cockblockin like crazy >on the final night I go back home alone in a sober stupor >isitevenworthit.jpg >determined to ragefap but went to bed instead >try again the next day >sorta succeed but feels empty >try again today >lose chub halfway >no new releases of my type of p--- either >sex drive disappears Hitting on grils made me realize what I was missing out on, and as a relative loner who would fap multiple times per week, this is a disturbing turn of events. This has never happened before. I have a s----- week ahead of me, but I still want to go to the bars again. Is this my penance for ignoring NNN?

АНОНИМНЫЙ Lost the will to fap 102 KB PNG 11/20/23(Mon)12:49:44 No.909621064 >be me >virgin college student, but have kissed and hugged >hit bars about five times last week >spent last two nights in a row trying meet girls at bars >manage to kiss a qt3.14 but her hamplanet orbiter was cockblockin like crazy >on the final night I go back home alone in a sober stupor >isitevenworthit.jpg >determined to ragefap but went to bed instead >try again the next day >sorta succeed but feels empty >try again today >lose chub halfway >no new releases of my type of p--- either >sex drive disappears Hitting on grils made me realize what I was missing out on, and as a relative loner who would fap multiple times per week, this is a disturbing turn of events. This has never happened before. I have a s----- week ahead of me, but I still want to go to the bars again. Is this my penance for ignoring NNN?

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Craving Command | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 670 KB PNG 11/20/23(Mon)11:24:39 No.75479830 >Want to die >Other parts of the brain prevent that from happening Why are our brains wired like this. Why can't I just be in control.

Anonymous 670 KB PNG 11/20/23(Mon)11:24:39 No.75479830 >Want to die >Other parts of the brain prevent that from happening Why are our brains wired like this. Why can't I just be in control.

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The Disenchanted | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 75 KB JPG 11/20/23(Mon)12:26:48 >Every time me and best friends little sister have a shift together we play-fight and shittalk each other all the time >Pretty much certain she likes me because of all the signs shes giving >Like her too No.75480467 >Can't date her because it would only lead to trouble since she's kind of a crazy hoe (something my friend had to drill into my mind so I understand that getting into a relationship with her wouldn't be smart) >Still see her multiple times a week >Still 23yo and never had a gf I f------ hate modern western society for corrupting women like this

Anonymous 75 KB JPG 11/20/23(Mon)12:26:48 >Every time me and best friends little sister have a shift together we play-fight and shittalk each other all the time >Pretty much certain she likes me because of all the signs shes giving >Like her too No.75480467 >Can't date her because it would only lead to trouble since she's kind of a crazy hoe (something my friend had to drill into my mind so I understand that getting into a relationship with her wouldn't be smart) >Still see her multiple times a week >Still 23yo and never had a gf I f------ hate modern western society for corrupting women like this

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Anon wants old people dead | /r/Greentext

IMG_2560.jpg 104 KB JPG A controversial take, but hear me out. I sincerely believe every lower/middle class person (with an income of 50k or below) above the age of 50 should be exterminated. Think about it this way, after a certain age humans start being more of a burden to the economy rather than an asset, since they're in a position where they are incapable of producing anything of value but at the same time depend financially on the government and/or their family more than the younger generations (think social security, pensions, or financial aid in general) I think it would be better off without them Obviously this is severely flawed from a moral standpoint, but the benefits far outweigh it regardless. So yea that's my take

IMG_2560.jpg 104 KB JPG A controversial take, but hear me out. I sincerely believe every lower/middle class person (with an income of 50k or below) above the age of 50 should be exterminated. Think about it this way, after a certain age humans start being more of a burden to the economy rather than an asset, since they're in a position where they are incapable of producing anything of value but at the same time depend financially on the government and/or their family more than the younger generations (think social security, pensions, or financial aid in general) I think it would be better off without them Obviously this is severely flawed from a moral standpoint, but the benefits far outweigh it regardless. So yea that's my take

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Anon Cracks the Code on /biz/ness | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: YOptSOQs) 11/20/23 (Mon)12:27:22 No.56722639 >Would be willing to spend 20$ on a h----- 644 KB JPG >J------- for free >Receive a consumer surplus of 20$ >Repeat >Make infinite money Is this true passive income?

Anonymous (ID: YOptSOQs) 11/20/23 (Mon)12:27:22 No.56722639 >Would be willing to spend 20$ on a h----- 644 KB JPG >J------- for free >Receive a consumer surplus of 20$ >Repeat >Make infinite money Is this true passive income?

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Single Story | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: ZyYMDQYB) ! 247 KB PNG 11/20/23(Mon)01:28:16 No.19103953 >younger brother has a gf >younger sister has a bf >I have never had a gf its over isnt it

Anonymous (ID: ZyYMDQYB) ! 247 KB PNG 11/20/23(Mon)01:28:16 No.19103953 >younger brother has a gf >younger sister has a bf >I have never had a gf its over isnt it

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Life's Recent Devastation | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 28 KB JPG 11/20/23(Mon)13:15:08 No.909622174 >be me >bored and horny, wife out of town >decide to call a phone sex line >girl is really funny and flirty and sexy, have a great time talking and jerking off >still thinking about her next morning, can't wait to call again >don't even care about my wife getting home any more >more interested in having more phone sex with a stranger than real sex with my wife >Pandora's box can't be closed Anyone else ruin their life recently?

Anonymous 28 KB JPG 11/20/23(Mon)13:15:08 No.909622174 >be me >bored and horny, wife out of town >decide to call a phone sex line >girl is really funny and flirty and sexy, have a great time talking and jerking off >still thinking about her next morning, can't wait to call again >don't even care about my wife getting home any more >more interested in having more phone sex with a stranger than real sex with my wife >Pandora's box can't be closed Anyone else ruin their life recently?

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Anon goes to a New Years party | /r/Greentext

✰oros >be me >be gay >came out to parents about 4 years 41 KB JPG ago >dad hasn't spoken to me since >anyway >at New Years party at my parents house >whole family is there and having fun >feelsgoodtobeincluded.wav >everybody has been drinking >because New Years >anyway, the clock hits 00:00, whooooo! New Years! >my dad walks up to me and says >"well, it's 2019 anon" > I'm stunned, I think he's finally come to terms with me being gay I say >"sure is dad" >then he says >"and you're still a f------ f-----"

✰oros >be me >be gay >came out to parents about 4 years 41 KB JPG ago >dad hasn't spoken to me since >anyway >at New Years party at my parents house >whole family is there and having fun >feelsgoodtobeincluded.wav >everybody has been drinking >because New Years >anyway, the clock hits 00:00, whooooo! New Years! >my dad walks up to me and says >"well, it's 2019 anon" > I'm stunned, I think he's finally come to terms with me being gay I say >"sure is dad" >then he says >"and you're still a f------ f-----"

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The Infinite Code | /r/Greentext

Greentext Stories

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