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FINEST AMERICAN NEWS SOURCE H-------- MAN WALKS ON F------ MOON NEIL ARMSTRONG'S HISTORIC FIRST WORDS ON MOON: HOLY LIVING F--- THE MOON esus f------ down in the moon's low-gravity The distant, lonely, mysterious colleague on the lunar surface mankind since the dawn of time ecstatic Aldrin said, pumping astronauts Neil Armstrong andIt's likeI told you on the way down on the Sca of Tranquility his shipmate. "Remember? I told in the lunar module Eagle and you this was going to be f------ radioed back to Earth the hisamazing. Christ, Houston. We're on the spent two hours engaged in Above: Neil Armstrong on the surface of the f------ moon. seript of the radio communica the moon's Tranquility Base and Armstrong and Aldrin the you-on-your-ass resplendence of made final technical and psytheir situation before returning chological preparations for the to the capsule. Their intense 18 un-f-------believableness f month NASA training period- the next phase of the operation, the primary function o which was to train the pair to deal with sion. Armstrong slowly descend- sion-proved effective, though ed the four steps leading out ofat one point Armstrong had to the module, paused, and tooksit down and take several deep one small but epoch-making breaths, "just so I don't f------ NASA headquarters nearly rock samples, which earthbound TRANQUILITY. t was a smooth The Earth as seen from-Holy Jesus-the surface of the moon. tuekin-utely am standing on could not even begin to f------ goddamned f------ moon. Jesus American f-- the ground "Holy mother of f---," the first part: This plaque, placed here Roger, no f------ doubt aboutfromthe planet around which surface of the f------ moon conceive Lunar Module footpads de-living (long pause) f---. (Long Lovell replied. "A-f-------firrest undisturbed on this spot for the next 100 million years. High Eight minutes ater, as Arm lying f---. Can you believe hook up Lunar Equipment pause. H-------- strong gleefully bounced up and that s---?" ressed o o inches. TRANQUILITY: I abso-f------ Platftorm lined up. Checking step. and im. uck. (eng face of the f------ moon. I a WE CAN PUT A MAN ON THE HIOUSTOO. Everything okay. Hold on. hyervettingdiaking ou9kint omour rsas MOON, BUT WE CAN'T BOMB TRANQUILITY: Am descending pause.) HOUSTON: Steady. Over. (LongH. Christ in a chicken basket. THE STONE AGE?

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FINEST AMERICAN NEWS SOURCE H-------- MAN WALKS ON F------ MOON NEIL ARMSTRONG'S HISTORIC FIRST WORDS ON MOON: HOLY LIVING F--- THE MOON esus f------ down in the moon's low-gravity The distant, lonely, mysterious colleague on the lunar surface mankind since the dawn of time ecstatic Aldrin said, pumping astronauts Neil Armstrong andIt's likeI told you on the way down on the Sca of Tranquility his shipmate. "Remember? I told in the lunar module Eagle and you this was going to be f------ radioed back to Earth the hisamazing. Christ, Houston. We're on the spent two hours engaged in Above: Neil Armstrong on the surface of the f------ moon. seript of the radio communica the moon's Tranquility Base and Armstrong and Aldrin the you-on-your-ass resplendence of made final technical and psytheir situation before returning chological preparations for the to the capsule. Their intense 18 un-f-------believableness f month NASA training period- the next phase of the operation, the primary function o which was to train the pair to deal with sion. Armstrong slowly descend- sion-proved effective, though ed the four steps leading out ofat one point Armstrong had to the module, paused, and tooksit down and take several deep one small but epoch-making breaths, "just so I don't f------ NASA headquarters nearly rock samples, which earthbound TRANQUILITY. t was a smooth The Earth as seen from-Holy Jesus-the surface of the moon. tuekin-utely am standing on could not even begin to f------ goddamned f------ moon. Jesus American f-- the ground "Holy mother of f---," the first part: This plaque, placed here Roger, no f------ doubt aboutfromthe planet around which surface of the f------ moon conceive Lunar Module footpads de-living (long pause) f---. (Long Lovell replied. "A-f-------firrest undisturbed on this spot for the next 100 million years. High Eight minutes ater, as Arm lying f---. Can you believe hook up Lunar Equipment pause. H-------- strong gleefully bounced up and that s---?" ressed o o inches. TRANQUILITY: I abso-f------ Platftorm lined up. Checking step. and im. uck. (eng face of the f------ moon. I a WE CAN PUT A MAN ON THE HIOUSTOO. Everything okay. Hold on. hyervettingdiaking ou9kint omour rsas MOON, BUT WE CAN'T BOMB TRANQUILITY: Am descending pause.) HOUSTON: Steady. Over. (LongH. Christ in a chicken basket. THE STONE AGE?

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FizzBuzz3000

FizzBuzz3000

Jul 21, 2014 at 09:17PM EDT

If the internet made a newspaper.

+26

Conman The Terrible

Conman The Terrible

Jul 21, 2014 at 12:26PM EDT

This should go in The Onion image gallery.

+19

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