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Hair has been firmly fastened to never react to wind or any laws of Hair seems to overreact to wind the wizard wallk "The Virgin Walk" THE CHAD STRIDE Head craned forward ysiques Sometimes uses heaphones to escape potential conversation or mitigate agoraphobic symptoms Has figured out how to- always look everyone in the eye at once at all times Looks below parallel Head is at a perfect verticle angle at all times so polite he has grown angel wings hair overreacts so much it looks like tentacles Avoids eye contact, and looks away immediately if accidental contact Perceives every oncoming fece in his periphery as "looking at him Has never heard a song in his entire life crooked neck Back slouched Does not register the emotions or feelings of others at all Too polite, gives too much traffic Arms constantly flailing in confident, unpredictable ways ace for onc hates people who walk slowly when side-by-side hunched back Intentionally slaps and batters incoming traffic to make his own path Stiff, straight arms Struggles to find comfortable hand form Little arm movement Hands always prepared to grab nearby fertile p---- Might be too tense and rigid Back is so straight you could measure structural foundation with his spinal cord looks so low that you cannot even see his iris Bonus: Clothing is all neutral coloured Wears running shoes Only wears black coats Stands with a weird posture Is insecure about how he walks Walking form is poised like a Greek statue, perpetualy in contrapposto Walking pace/form lacks fluidity because walking pace changes every nanosecond walks at lightspeed he struggles to "autowalk analogous to always manually breathing headphones that block all sound Rapidly tiptoes around like in "going to the store MANDATORY possible: clothing so boring its impossible to look at doesn't even wear shoes long trencoat right out of the matrix posture is only found in ancient minoan mythology would kill himself over the way he walks Walks too fast Compulsively needs to pass anyone walking slightly slower than him Does not feel the need to pass anyone because he's already brutalized everyone nearby into Wears visually-painful bright neon attire 3000 highlighter boots from Giuseepe Zanotti Does not wear a coat, is immune to cold No one alive can insult his posture and get away with it Does not read stupid s--- drawn by Quentin really really long steps arms so straight like they are made of solid metal Tiny beetle-like stride Long strides hand form has eternal suffering

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Virgin Mars Colonisation -Thinks mars will someday turn out as friendly as Earth from future """terraforming projects"""""" Lives for like 1 year on mars before dying of bone cancer Thin, weak atmosphere -Temperature comparable to a cold day in wisconsin -Will literally never happen. -Elon Musk prob fooled you into thinking this is possible for attention -Barely restraining himself from depression caused suicide Chad Venus suicide mission -Accepts venus' eternal literal manifastation of hell. Can literally swim in the 90 bar air, how cool is that -Survives for like 9 minutes max before his space suit melts and space helmet cracks opencracks -Temperature comparable to sticking your head in a pizza oven. Huge rush of adrelinine and testosterone Can easily be done, only ethics are stopping NASA

Is literally a giant baby Reads books and uses big words like a true virgin The virgin Judge Holden Small size just makes his penis look bigger The Chad Glanton Is the leader, even the Judge must answer to him Hairless? That's kinda feminine bro Has sex with a retard and 12 year old girls Claims to be a judge, but never reveals what he's a judge of. Seriously what the hell is going on with that imbecile? Literally told the Judge to stop being a bitch and to get a new horse Last words are unfathomably based Can never go out in a blaze of glory because he can never die Probably isn't even real, just some kinda metaphor. What a cop out. Banned from returning to Texas probably because he had premarital sex with every woman in the state Keen strategist Zero redeeming qualities yet still loved by all

Self The virgin Zeus Centered f-- demons The one true god, Arceus Secretly allied to Cares for all living things ด Does not tolerate malice Mistreats his own family Allowed humans to be mean Finds excuses to do as he pleases Racist to those he call freaks A family man Encourages being nice and kind 100% pure, humble and truthful Friends to other races, even heroic digimon

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Virgin vs. Chad - Wizard Walk vs. Virgin Walk vs. Chad Stride

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Hair has been firmly fastened to never react to wind or any laws of Hair seems to overreact to wind the wizard wallk "The Virgin Walk" THE CHAD STRIDE Head craned forward ysiques Sometimes uses heaphones to escape potential conversation or mitigate agoraphobic symptoms Has figured out how to- always look everyone in the eye at once at all times Looks below parallel Head is at a perfect verticle angle at all times so polite he has grown angel wings hair overreacts so much it looks like tentacles Avoids eye contact, and looks away immediately if accidental contact Perceives every oncoming fece in his periphery as "looking at him Has never heard a song in his entire life crooked neck Back slouched Does not register the emotions or feelings of others at all Too polite, gives too much traffic Arms constantly flailing in confident, unpredictable ways ace for onc hates people who walk slowly when side-by-side hunched back Intentionally slaps and batters incoming traffic to make his own path Stiff, straight arms Struggles to find comfortable hand form Little arm movement Hands always prepared to grab nearby fertile p---- Might be too tense and rigid Back is so straight you could measure structural foundation with his spinal cord looks so low that you cannot even see his iris Bonus: Clothing is all neutral coloured Wears running shoes Only wears black coats Stands with a weird posture Is insecure about how he walks Walking form is poised like a Greek statue, perpetualy in contrapposto Walking pace/form lacks fluidity because walking pace changes every nanosecond walks at lightspeed he struggles to "autowalk analogous to always manually breathing headphones that block all sound Rapidly tiptoes around like in "going to the store MANDATORY possible: clothing so boring its impossible to look at doesn't even wear shoes long trencoat right out of the matrix posture is only found in ancient minoan mythology would kill himself over the way he walks Walks too fast Compulsively needs to pass anyone walking slightly slower than him Does not feel the need to pass anyone because he's already brutalized everyone nearby into Wears visually-painful bright neon attire 3000 highlighter boots from Giuseepe Zanotti Does not wear a coat, is immune to cold No one alive can insult his posture and get away with it Does not read stupid s--- drawn by Quentin really really long steps arms so straight like they are made of solid metal Tiny beetle-like stride Long strides hand form has eternal suffering

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Uploaded Jun 13, 2017 at 01:12PM EDT

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