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Twitter Users Lost In A Sea Of Dionysian Excess As We Progress Through "Betwixtmas"
The time between Christmas and New Year's Day is by far the weirdest time of the year. Many people are on vacation, cooped up with their families in a different state, eating cookies and drinking eggnog. It's too late in the year to actually try to do anything meaningful. The organizing structure guiding human existence has collapsed, and time becomes immaterial. Have wine at 10 in the morning! Eat a roast ham for breakfast and nap at 11! Fall asleep at 4 in the morning. Who cares! "Betwixtmas," aka "the Festive Perineum," is like the Daylight Savings Time hour that doesn't count, and unstuck from time, Twitter has lost it.
LOVE THIS PERIOD OF TIME WHERE EVERYONE AGREES THAT WE ARE THROWING IN THE TOWEL ON ANY ATTEMPTS AT PERSONAL IMPROVEMENT UNTIL THE NEW YEARVOWING TO SPEND THE LAST SIX DAYS OF THE YEAR IN AN UNAPOLOGETIC BACCHANAL OF EXCESS
— NOT A WOLF (@SICKOFWOLVES) December 26, 2019
We have now entered the Twilight Zone, a.k.a. the 6 days between Christmas and New Year's. Anything is possible. All known laws of human existence do not apply until Wednesday. Best of luck to you all.
— Jared Folden (@jaredfolden) December 26, 2019
It’s the period between Christmas and New Year. No one knows what day it is. Time doesn’t really exist. Can we start drinking at 10am? Why tf not. Existence is a confusion.
— Jordan Coombe (@Jordan_Coombe) December 27, 2019
The 6 or so days between Christmas and New Year’s is truly No Man’s Land. Like am I supposed to sleep all day? Get my life together? Spend the entire day watching TikToks? Hang out with my parents? Are we in 2019 or 2020? What do I eat besides Christmas cookies?
— It’s Fine, I’m Fine Podcast (@itsfineimfinepd) December 26, 2019
Most of my time between Christmas and New Year is spent trying to work out what day of the week it is.
— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) December 27, 2019
Other, stranger humans tweeted about loving the peace they'd found in this wild time.
Starting the day drinking coffee, reading my book, watching the pink sky growing lighter, listening to the sparrows in the hedge. It is blissful. I have so much to look forward to next year. I love this tiny sliver of utter positivity between Christmas and new year.
— Wendy Pratt (@wondykitten) December 27, 2019
And now we are in the hinterland between Christmas and new year. A time to tidy the mess we’ve made in the last 12 months and ready ourselves for the fresh challenge of a new year… or have another mince pie and see what we recorded on Sky+
— Fern Britton (@Fern_Britton) December 27, 2019
These calm, ‘flat’ days between Christmas and New Year are some of the best. The tree still sparkles, the fridge has leftovers to plunder and there are still chocolates in the box. Best of all, there is soup to make. pic.twitter.com/KIaPMKQgYv
— nigel slater (@NigelSlater) December 27, 2019
And then there's folks like yours truly who are dealing with a bizarre vacation schedule where we basically have to show up for work for a couple days and then get another holiday break.
Only dafties work in between Christmas & New Year and I can confirm I am indeed one of em dafties
— Queeno (@Queen_Bean1) December 26, 2019
When you’re #backtowork for a day then off the weekend pic.twitter.com/YKMVvo7FiZ
— Tom Munns (@TomMunns1) December 27, 2019
May your Festive Perineum be merry and bright, folks.
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