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Elmo pavs a aroup of hackers to hack into tumblr's servers and change every "tr" to an "n".

Elmo pavs a aroup of hackers to hack into tumblr's servers and change every "tr" to an "n".

bertstrips elmo sesame street pbs tumblr hack

At least he still has his trash...

Count von Count has a blast counting Oscar's friends

Count von Count has a blast counting Oscar's friends

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Be a hero and get me one eighth of an Advil

Yolanda had finally recovered from her alcohol-induced rampage the

Yolanda had finally recovered from her alcohol-induced rampage the

bertstrips muppets yolanda rat hangover implied joel real talk though yolanda needs more love

You See...

After drinking the apple juice Mr. Cosby gave him, Elmo sure was feeling funny

After drinking the apple juice Mr. Cosby gave him, Elmo sure was feeling funny

elmo bill cosby

Cousin Pepe

"I use work for Mister Trump. He pay me grow peyote for him. One time he offer me money to have sex with his wife. He watch from corner and choke himself with a bed sheet. Every night he'd have his driver drop me off at Home Depot. I always drove to work every day for him in my own car...he thought that's where I lived."

"I use work for Mister Trump. He pay me grow peyote for him. One time he offer me money to have sex with his wife. He watch from corner and choke himself with a bed sheet. Every night he'd have his driver drop me off at Home Depot. I always drove to work every day for him in my own car...he thought that's where I lived."

Muppet Meth Lab

After burning down his third mobile home, Beaker realized that making meth would be more complicated than he thought.

After burning down his third mobile home, Beaker realized that making meth would be more complicated than he thought.

beaker meth lab

No Elmo! No!

SESAME STREET org With the help of ISIS, Elmo prepares to trycycle bomb the new world trade center.

SESAME STREET org With the help of ISIS, Elmo prepares to trycycle bomb the new world trade center.

Expecting Jojo comments

"Oh no, not agan. That was Mr. Johnson's last thought before Grover crushed his new family with a steamroller, laughing maniacally as Mr. Johnson escaped in the last traction of a second, covered in fresh warm purrée.

"Oh no, not agan. That was Mr. Johnson's last thought before Grover crushed his new family with a steamroller, laughing maniacally as Mr. Johnson escaped in the last traction of a second, covered in fresh warm purrée.

bertstrips grover mr. johnson steamroller wrryyyyy jjba

Me Keep Moving Forward...

"So, how long have you been driving an Uber? "Me drive Uber long time now. Me like freedom it give me." "That's cool, yeah... Say, do you happen to know where-." "Sorry, but me stop you there. You want girlies? You need dope to shoot in you scrotum? Then me drop you at East side of town and you can look for it by yourself. Me not going back to the darkness. Me just try to get by."

"So, how long have you been driving an Uber? "Me drive Uber long time now. Me like freedom it give me." "That's cool, yeah... Say, do you happen to know where-." "Sorry, but me stop you there. You want girlies? You need dope to shoot in you scrotum? Then me drop you at East side of town and you can look for it by yourself. Me not going back to the darkness. Me just try to get by."

cookie monster sesame street pbs bertstrips uber uber car

Cookies

"What you mean you

"What you mean you

cookie monster cookies sesame street browser cookies computer

Night of the Living Bort

Bert sat up abruptly. He had just heard the unmistakable sound of Bort's autistic laughter coming from the kitchen, followed by the sound of metal hitting the floor-tiles. But that was impossible. He and Ernie had drowned the little retard themselves yesterday, and today they had used his flesh for the hamburgers at Elmo's birthday barbucue. Bert slowly turned to look at Ernie, who was now wide awake and trembling with fear under the covers beside him, then back at the closed door to their bedroom. He heard the laughter again, closer this time, and could only watch in horror as the knob began to turn

Bert sat up abruptly. He had just heard the unmistakable sound of Bort's autistic laughter coming from the kitchen, followed by the sound of metal hitting the floor-tiles. But that was impossible. He and Ernie had drowned the little retard themselves yesterday, and today they had used his flesh for the hamburgers at Elmo's birthday barbucue. Bert slowly turned to look at Ernie, who was now wide awake and trembling with fear under the covers beside him, then back at the closed door to their bedroom. He heard the laughter again, closer this time, and could only watch in horror as the knob began to turn

bertstrips ernie bert bort sesame street

Goddammit Ernie!

"Bert, I have great news! I found your dog, Mr. Jingles!!! Some idiot buried him in the backyard.

"Bert, I have great news! I found your dog, Mr. Jingles!!! Some idiot buried him in the backyard.

bertstrips dog no credit to op

ART!

"And here is real art, you cisgendered scum. Curb your microagressions in my safe space!" But Bert, this is a public park

"And here is real art, you cisgendered scum. Curb your microagressions in my safe space!" But Bert, this is a public park

berstrips microagresion die cis scum safe space no credit to op

Ernie and Plants

"I like to use my victims as fertilizer to grow small plants, which I then send to the victim's family as a condolence present. Most people neglect potted plants they receive as gifts. So, in a way, it's like they're letting their children die all over again."

"I like to use my victims as fertilizer to grow small plants, which I then send to the victim's family as a condolence present. Most people neglect potted plants they receive as gifts. So, in a way, it's like they're letting their children die all over again."

ernie sesame street plants fertilizer victims death

The Landlady of Sesame Street

Ernie's always loved dolls. Ever since he was a little boy, all he ever wanted was new dolls for Christmas or his birthday. He was maybe a bit too open about it, though. Kids made fun of him at school. His family thought something was wrong with him(he could hear them talking behind his back at family gatherings- even his own mother). He got so much s--- that eventually he just started pretending like it was all a joke. He had to stifle his love for the passion that drove him most. Part of him died. Fast forward to the present. Now that the only person Ernie really ever sees these days is Bert, who couldn't care any less about Ernie's pastimes, he can finally rekindle his lost passions; he can breathe life into that which died within him. He'd ust finished searching Craigslist and found the perfect doll to start a new collection. Your mommy's gonna miss you, but don't worry, sweetheart. With me, you're going to live forever," Ernie told the infant. "Now, what will I name you? like 'Aurora'."

Ernie's always loved dolls. Ever since he was a little boy, all he ever wanted was new dolls for Christmas or his birthday. He was maybe a bit too open about it, though. Kids made fun of him at school. His family thought something was wrong with him(he could hear them talking behind his back at family gatherings- even his own mother). He got so much s--- that eventually he just started pretending like it was all a joke. He had to stifle his love for the passion that drove him most. Part of him died. Fast forward to the present. Now that the only person Ernie really ever sees these days is Bert, who couldn't care any less about Ernie's pastimes, he can finally rekindle his lost passions; he can breathe life into that which died within him. He'd ust finished searching Craigslist and found the perfect doll to start a new collection. Your mommy's gonna miss you, but don't worry, sweetheart. With me, you're going to live forever," Ernie told the infant. "Now, what will I name you? like 'Aurora'."

ernie sesame street pbs bertstrips

MonMusu.chapter33.png

Farmer Joe's hand's start to sweat. If he plays his cards just right, he can turn one botched night of infidelity into a threesome

Farmer Joe's hand's start to sweat. If he plays his cards just right, he can turn one botched night of infidelity into a threesome

farmer sheeps no credit to op bertstrips

Bert's White Christmas

No, Bert. Bing Crosby's White Christmas" is not about ethnic cleansing

No, Bert. Bing Crosby's White Christmas" is not about ethnic cleansing

bert sesame street white christmas ethnic cleansing bing crosby christmas xmas

Bert's Book of Victims.

While flipping through his trophy album, Bert has a good chuckle as he comes across that victim who had soiled himself during strangulation. He had totally forgotten about that one.

While flipping through his trophy album, Bert has a good chuckle as he comes across that victim who had soiled himself during strangulation. He had totally forgotten about that one.

bert strangulation book

Ernie is a liar.

Ernie said he took care of the snipers. But about two seconds into his run, Bert learned that Ernie was a f------ liar.

Ernie said he took care of the snipers. But about two seconds into his run, Bert learned that Ernie was a f------ liar.

bert ernie sniper

Oh my...

SESAME STREET "Elmo, what's your tattoo mean?" "It means 'if you can read this, Elmo has probably killed someone you love' in Vietnamese. Elmo can't pronounce the b------- gobblygook. but this is what it looks like: '5uin f------ language, Elmo knows." "Um, Elmo.... put that into Google Translate. It's Thai for 'I love spaghetti in my a------'."

SESAME STREET "Elmo, what's your tattoo mean?" "It means 'if you can read this, Elmo has probably killed someone you love' in Vietnamese. Elmo can't pronounce the b------- gobblygook. but this is what it looks like: '5uin f------ language, Elmo knows." "Um, Elmo.... put that into Google Translate. It's Thai for 'I love spaghetti in my a------'."

elmo tattoo spaghetti tahi vietnam no credit to op