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Officials on alert for Michigan playground pooper who leaves mark on park slides Apr. 4, 2014 11 Comments 123 people recommend this 123Twt281Pun it Tweet 2 Most Commented More Headlines Written by Associated Press Officials are trying to find the so-called mystery pooper who has been soling slides at an Ypsilanti playground over the last Six months Man, business mired in war of words FILED UNDER Fire tone still rings for retired assistant chief 2 City council member Pete Murdock said Friday it wasn't much of a big deal during winter. But now that it's getting warmer, he says "we need to get a handle on it." News Crime & Courts Hartland church offers $3.5M in bonds 3 Murdock says police or other Ypsilanti employees stop at Prospect Park each morning to make sure another surprise wasn't left overnight. He says there are plans to have volunteers watch the park at night. News Briefs: Firefighter injured in barn blaze 4 $15M jail plan moves ahead In an e-mail in January, Police Chief Tony DeGiusti asked officers to be on the lookout for a "miscreant" who doesn't "understand the difference between a children's playground slide and a toilet." Most Viewed

Officials on alert for Michigan playground pooper who leaves mark on park slides Apr. 4, 2014 11 Comments 123 people recommend this 123Twt281Pun it Tweet 2 Most Commented More Headlines Written by Associated Press Officials are trying to find the so-called mystery pooper who has been soling slides at an Ypsilanti playground over the last Six months Man, business mired in war of words FILED UNDER Fire tone still rings for retired assistant chief 2 City council member Pete Murdock said Friday it wasn't much of a big deal during winter. But now that it's getting warmer, he says "we need to get a handle on it." News Crime & Courts Hartland church offers $3.5M in bonds 3 Murdock says police or other Ypsilanti employees stop at Prospect Park each morning to make sure another surprise wasn't left overnight. He says there are plans to have volunteers watch the park at night. News Briefs: Firefighter injured in barn blaze 4 $15M jail plan moves ahead In an e-mail in January, Police Chief Tony DeGiusti asked officers to be on the lookout for a "miscreant" who doesn't "understand the difference between a children's playground slide and a toilet." Most Viewed

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o ex BiesuReportV Fox Niews RadioFox News Latino Fox NationFox News Insider Login April 15, 2014- Updated at 9:22 PM ET ON AIR NOW > On Air Personalities> FOX NEWS 9pet The Kelly File 10p et Hannity Search Hosted by Sean Hannity WATCH LIVE 1 on 1 Fair & Balanced ψ Listen to Fox News Radio Live Home Video Politics U.S. Opinion Entertainment Tech | Science Health Travel | Lifestyle World Sports On Air UKRAINIAN SOLDIER CAUGHT PEEING ELECTRICITY ON CAMERA 430 New York, NY Detailed Forecast> THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION has confirmed reports out of the Ukraine that a soldier was caught on camera peeing elec- tricity. No word on the soldiers condition or what caused this bizarre phenomenon. .UN shoots down Putin's claims that ethnic persecuts ving rai Russians living in Ukraine are being persecuted READ THE UN REPORT -e FREE SHIPPING FREE RETURNS ALL THE TIME .McCain mocks EU's response to Ukraine crisis FOXIBUSINESS +89.32 +11.47 +12.37 .OPINION: What Obama can do without boots on the ground VIDEO: Gunfire heard at Ukraine airport 18,282.58 4,034.18 1,842.98 +0.55% +0.29% +0.68% DJIA | Nasdaq AP S&P 500 OFFENDING' OBAMA? Carson: White House COMMON CORE CHANGES Some Catholic schools UNDERCOVER AMISH Cops use disguises to Enter Stock Symbol Get Quote ' e 郾 FoxNews-Breaking

o ex BiesuReportV Fox Niews RadioFox News Latino Fox NationFox News Insider Login April 15, 2014- Updated at 9:22 PM ET ON AIR NOW > On Air Personalities> FOX NEWS 9pet The Kelly File 10p et Hannity Search Hosted by Sean Hannity WATCH LIVE 1 on 1 Fair & Balanced ψ Listen to Fox News Radio Live Home Video Politics U.S. Opinion Entertainment Tech | Science Health Travel | Lifestyle World Sports On Air UKRAINIAN SOLDIER CAUGHT PEEING ELECTRICITY ON CAMERA 430 New York, NY Detailed Forecast> THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION has confirmed reports out of the Ukraine that a soldier was caught on camera peeing elec- tricity. No word on the soldiers condition or what caused this bizarre phenomenon. .UN shoots down Putin's claims that ethnic persecuts ving rai Russians living in Ukraine are being persecuted READ THE UN REPORT -e FREE SHIPPING FREE RETURNS ALL THE TIME .McCain mocks EU's response to Ukraine crisis FOXIBUSINESS +89.32 +11.47 +12.37 .OPINION: What Obama can do without boots on the ground VIDEO: Gunfire heard at Ukraine airport 18,282.58 4,034.18 1,842.98 +0.55% +0.29% +0.68% DJIA | Nasdaq AP S&P 500 OFFENDING' OBAMA? Carson: White House COMMON CORE CHANGES Some Catholic schools UNDERCOVER AMISH Cops use disguises to Enter Stock Symbol Get Quote ' e 郾 FoxNews-Breaking

SCP-078 rating: +102X Item #: SCP-078-J Object Class: Keter Special Containment Procedures: Due to the apparent omnipresence of SCP-078-J-1, researchers have constructed several safe houses for refugees. These safe houses are to be equipped with a large memetic deterrent consisting of a sign that states "NO GURLZ ALLOWD!!" and various drawings of cool boy stuff like dragons. No pink is to be allowed into these safe houses SCP-078-3 transfer in progress Description: SCP-078-J is a highly contagious biohazard spread through physical contact with SCP-078-J-1 (Especially on the lips!!). Although the properties of SCP-078-J are not fully understood, it is well known for causing various cases of yuckiness, bad smells, and immediate death. SCP-078-J-1 is a malevolent creature that typically inhabits an area colloquially known as the "playground. There are several different versions of SCP-078-1 that will wander this area at any given time. Current research performed by Junior Researcher James has pointed towards SCP-078-J-1 possibly being extraterrestrial in origin. That would certainly explain why they don't like Power Rangers. Prolonged exposure to SCP-078-3 carriers results in an expansion of the larynx, a development of the sexual organs, an increase in bodily growth, and the sprouting of various hairs around the body, as well as a marked fondness towards SCP-078-J-1. Researchers agree this is totally gross. Footnotes 1. Junior Researcher James has been commended for his quick thinking during incident 536-J-3, during which a group of SCP-078-J-1 surrounded him in an attempt to perform a "makeover". Researcher James cleverly reached a finger into his nose and pulled out a large booger, with which he fended off SCP-078-1-1

SCP-078 rating: +102X Item #: SCP-078-J Object Class: Keter Special Containment Procedures: Due to the apparent omnipresence of SCP-078-J-1, researchers have constructed several safe houses for refugees. These safe houses are to be equipped with a large memetic deterrent consisting of a sign that states "NO GURLZ ALLOWD!!" and various drawings of cool boy stuff like dragons. No pink is to be allowed into these safe houses SCP-078-3 transfer in progress Description: SCP-078-J is a highly contagious biohazard spread through physical contact with SCP-078-J-1 (Especially on the lips!!). Although the properties of SCP-078-J are not fully understood, it is well known for causing various cases of yuckiness, bad smells, and immediate death. SCP-078-J-1 is a malevolent creature that typically inhabits an area colloquially known as the "playground. There are several different versions of SCP-078-1 that will wander this area at any given time. Current research performed by Junior Researcher James has pointed towards SCP-078-J-1 possibly being extraterrestrial in origin. That would certainly explain why they don't like Power Rangers. Prolonged exposure to SCP-078-3 carriers results in an expansion of the larynx, a development of the sexual organs, an increase in bodily growth, and the sprouting of various hairs around the body, as well as a marked fondness towards SCP-078-J-1. Researchers agree this is totally gross. Footnotes 1. Junior Researcher James has been commended for his quick thinking during incident 536-J-3, during which a group of SCP-078-J-1 surrounded him in an attempt to perform a "makeover". Researcher James cleverly reached a finger into his nose and pulled out a large booger, with which he fended off SCP-078-1-1

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OOL Director of Genital Corrections ATTENTION: MANDATORY PENIS INSPECTIONS JUNE 2011 TO ALL MALE CARLMONT HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS: The District is required to conduct mandatory penis inspections on all male Carlmont High School students in accordance with California Health Code § 19, End-of-the-year penis inspections will occur in the Student Union. The mandatory health inspections will be conducted on Friday, May 27, 2011, beginning at 2:20 p.m. There will be ONE make-up day, Tuesday, May 31, 2011 beginning at 3:30 p.m. All students who have not already completed a penis inspection MUST attend one of these two mandatory sessions Students will be excused from any classes they miss in order to attend an inspection. PLEASE NOTE: Uncircumcised Students should report to the Uncircumcised Line within the Student Union. Circumcised Students should report to the Circumcised Line. Students MUST complete a penis inspection before the end of the year. The traditional Western "Pass/Fail judging system will be used. SENIORS who do not pass an inspection before the end of the year WILL NOT GRADUATE. Please ensure that penises are clean and orderly. A "FAIL" will be given for ALL shaved testicles. For questions, please Director of Genital Corrections uoia Union High School District 490 James Avenue Redwood City, CA 94062 (650)-369-1471 25 26 2 to

OOL Director of Genital Corrections ATTENTION: MANDATORY PENIS INSPECTIONS JUNE 2011 TO ALL MALE CARLMONT HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS: The District is required to conduct mandatory penis inspections on all male Carlmont High School students in accordance with California Health Code § 19, End-of-the-year penis inspections will occur in the Student Union. The mandatory health inspections will be conducted on Friday, May 27, 2011, beginning at 2:20 p.m. There will be ONE make-up day, Tuesday, May 31, 2011 beginning at 3:30 p.m. All students who have not already completed a penis inspection MUST attend one of these two mandatory sessions Students will be excused from any classes they miss in order to attend an inspection. PLEASE NOTE: Uncircumcised Students should report to the Uncircumcised Line within the Student Union. Circumcised Students should report to the Circumcised Line. Students MUST complete a penis inspection before the end of the year. The traditional Western "Pass/Fail judging system will be used. SENIORS who do not pass an inspection before the end of the year WILL NOT GRADUATE. Please ensure that penises are clean and orderly. A "FAIL" will be given for ALL shaved testicles. For questions, please Director of Genital Corrections uoia Union High School District 490 James Avenue Redwood City, CA 94062 (650)-369-1471 25 26 2 to

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