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Friendly Fire | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous RE SA SHOOT ME $12 15 KB JPG 08/16/22(Tue)09:24:45 No.69832483 >go to store >there's a screen hooked to a security camera >some dude is on a screen >"awfully brave of this guy to walk outside with that hairline and a posture like that" >wait a minute >it's me So yeah, I'm killing myself today View Thread
: Anonymous RE SA SHOOT ME $12 15 KB JPG 08/16/22(Tue)09:24:45 No.69832483 >go to store >there's a screen hooked to a security camera >some dude is on a screen >"awfully brave of this guy to walk outside with that hairline and a posture like that" >wait a minute >it's me So yeah, I'm killing myself today View Thread

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anon gets the 4th wall ending | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 543509053 102,8 kB JPG 9 REPLIES 2 sa. önce >agree with the antagonist >die to him intentionally >uninstall game and tell everyone you finished it 6 İMAGES REPLY
Anonymous | 543509053 102,8 kB JPG 9 REPLIES 2 sa. önce >agree with the antagonist >die to him intentionally >uninstall game and tell everyone you finished it 6 İMAGES REPLY

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anon tries to be nice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Dinosaurs 1.01 MB JPG 08/05/22(Fri)15:48:02 No.883319932 Happened earlier today >Be Me >Watching p--- >Get bored and decide to watch cam girls instead. >Have an account already with tokens and s---. >Click on hot girl with big t------ >After watching for a while I get an idea. >type in chat: "What's your favorite Dinosaur?" >Message pops up on her stream, and she thinks about it. >try's describing a stegosaurus before remembering what it's called. >she starts happily talking about how she used to go to the park with her dad as a kid, and pretend to search for dinosaur bones in the sand. >She looks sad after she finish the story. >She seems deep in thought. >She gets up and ends the stream. My autism wanted to know what dinosaurs online strippers liked, and instead I sent a cam-girl into depression over her poor current relationship with her father. 6 Replies / 4 Images View Thread
: Anonymous Dinosaurs 1.01 MB JPG 08/05/22(Fri)15:48:02 No.883319932 Happened earlier today >Be Me >Watching p--- >Get bored and decide to watch cam girls instead. >Have an account already with tokens and s---. >Click on hot girl with big t------ >After watching for a while I get an idea. >type in chat: "What's your favorite Dinosaur?" >Message pops up on her stream, and she thinks about it. >try's describing a stegosaurus before remembering what it's called. >she starts happily talking about how she used to go to the park with her dad as a kid, and pretend to search for dinosaur bones in the sand. >She looks sad after she finish the story. >She seems deep in thought. >She gets up and ends the stream. My autism wanted to know what dinosaurs online strippers liked, and instead I sent a cam-girl into depression over her poor current relationship with her father. 6 Replies / 4 Images View Thread

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Anon meets someone at the gym | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous * 290 KB PNG 08/16/22(Tue)19:10:32 No.67991793 >be me >somewhat shy >walking to the squat rack >from the corner of my eye, see the most beautiful man I've ever seen walking in the same direction >can literally see his 10-pack through his shirt >actcool.gif >keep on walking >so does he >reach squat rack >he's looking right at me >somehow, my shyness just disappears and some primal instinct kicks in, so I make eye contact and keep looking into the darkest, soul-melting eyes I've ever had the pleasure of laying my eyes on >adrenaline kicks in, and without thinking, I move closer to him >he moves closer as well >in the heat of the moment, without even saying anything, I slowly go in for a kiss >my heart skips as many beats as humanly possible as I realise he does the same >suddenly, *bump* >mfw my head almost shattered the mirror trying to kiss my reflection Appreciate yourself anons. You're already beautiful exactly the way you are.
: Anonymous * 290 KB PNG 08/16/22(Tue)19:10:32 No.67991793 >be me >somewhat shy >walking to the squat rack >from the corner of my eye, see the most beautiful man I've ever seen walking in the same direction >can literally see his 10-pack through his shirt >actcool.gif >keep on walking >so does he >reach squat rack >he's looking right at me >somehow, my shyness just disappears and some primal instinct kicks in, so I make eye contact and keep looking into the darkest, soul-melting eyes I've ever had the pleasure of laying my eyes on >adrenaline kicks in, and without thinking, I move closer to him >he moves closer as well >in the heat of the moment, without even saying anything, I slowly go in for a kiss >my heart skips as many beats as humanly possible as I realise he does the same >suddenly, *bump* >mfw my head almost shattered the mirror trying to kiss my reflection Appreciate yourself anons. You're already beautiful exactly the way you are.

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Anon makes a deal with the demons | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/14/17(Fri)15:49:12 No.38371043 >uncle was dying of cancer >on hospital bed >doctors said he had 1 day left to live >sad, go to my room and lock the door >radomly decide to do a blood sacrifice by sacrificing my life for his >drew a pentagram on a piece of paper and then cut my palm with a knife and soaked the paper with blood 19 KB JPG >prayed that my uncle gets better in exchange for my life >next day uncle makes a miraculous recovery This was just a coincidence r-right?
: Anonymous 07/14/17(Fri)15:49:12 No.38371043 >uncle was dying of cancer >on hospital bed >doctors said he had 1 day left to live >sad, go to my room and lock the door >radomly decide to do a blood sacrifice by sacrificing my life for his >drew a pentagram on a piece of paper and then cut my palm with a knife and soaked the paper with blood 19 KB JPG >prayed that my uncle gets better in exchange for my life >next day uncle makes a miraculous recovery This was just a coincidence r-right?

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Anon doesn't like Ben | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous NOBODY CAME FOR ME 215 KB PNG 08/16/22(Tue)08:24:46 No.69829904 >came home late and drunk yesterday >walk past parents room >hear moaning >drunk af so I decide to listen very quick >hear dad role playing as the oldest son of our neighbors : Anonymous >mom keeps saying "f--- me Ben" obviously imagining my dad is him >go to my room >havent slept since and feel like doing pic related 08/16/22(Tue)10:11:33 No.69830568 Your parents are unironically bad people for having this sort of kink and especially indulging it.
: Anonymous NOBODY CAME FOR ME 215 KB PNG 08/16/22(Tue)08:24:46 No.69829904 >came home late and drunk yesterday >walk past parents room >hear moaning >drunk af so I decide to listen very quick >hear dad role playing as the oldest son of our neighbors : Anonymous >mom keeps saying "f--- me Ben" obviously imagining my dad is him >go to my room >havent slept since and feel like doing pic related 08/16/22(Tue)10:11:33 No.69830568 Your parents are unironically bad people for having this sort of kink and especially indulging it.

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first comment best comment | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous V 61 KB JPG : Anonymous 14 KB JPG 08/15/22(Mon)15:07:11 No.67981881 >"Hey mind if I get a quick spot?" >"Uhh I don't think I can spot that much weight" H-have I made it? 08/15/22(Mon)15:08:34 No.67981901 >>67981881 (OP) # >OP doing bodyweight squats >>67982029 # >>67982042 # >>67982043 # >>67982047 # >>67982224 # >>67984006 # >>67984024 # >>67984151 # >>67984208 # >>67984453 # >>67984932 # >>67986199 # >>67986261 # >>67986444 # >>67987263 # >>67987861 # >>67987895 # >>67987969 # >>67988214 # >>67988223 # >>67988258 # >>67988519 # >>67988538 # >>67988573 #
: Anonymous V 61 KB JPG : Anonymous 14 KB JPG 08/15/22(Mon)15:07:11 No.67981881 >"Hey mind if I get a quick spot?" >"Uhh I don't think I can spot that much weight" H-have I made it? 08/15/22(Mon)15:08:34 No.67981901 >>67981881 (OP) # >OP doing bodyweight squats >>67982029 # >>67982042 # >>67982043 # >>67982047 # >>67982224 # >>67984006 # >>67984024 # >>67984151 # >>67984208 # >>67984453 # >>67984932 # >>67986199 # >>67986261 # >>67986444 # >>67987263 # >>67987861 # >>67987895 # >>67987969 # >>67988214 # >>67988223 # >>67988258 # >>67988519 # >>67988538 # >>67988573 #

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bigot bros rise up | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 17hUHZIB >>391310714 # 08/16/22(Tue)06:52:06 No.391312913 >Whites: I don't care if you're gay, i just don't want the wine stuff being shoved down my childrens throats, that's all! >Leftist: RACIST BIGOT!! >Muslim: If you are gay, you deserve to be castrated and burned alive >Leftist: Diversity is our strength!!
: Anonymous (ID: 17hUHZIB >>391310714 # 08/16/22(Tue)06:52:06 No.391312913 >Whites: I don't care if you're gay, i just don't want the wine stuff being shoved down my childrens throats, that's all! >Leftist: RACIST BIGOT!! >Muslim: If you are gay, you deserve to be castrated and burned alive >Leftist: Diversity is our strength!!

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Anon gets topped | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 404 KB JPG 03/11/22(Fri) 10:17:58 No.24812242 grindr >Got extremely sick a few weeks later >HIV test just came back HIV positive I should kill myself huh? : Anonymous >MtF >Wanted to try the BBC meme so hooked up with some guy on 03/11/22 (Fri)10:18:24 No.24812251 03/11/22 (Fri)10:18:49 No.24812256 Anonymous Component Results HIV Ag/Ab combo Your Value Reactive Standard Range Non Reactive HIV-1 p24 Ag detected. By Chemiluminescent Microparticle Immunoassay General Information Ordered by MD Collected on 03/09/2022 2:53 PM (Blood) Resulted on 03/09/2022 8:24 PM Result Status: Final result 1625726061870.png 99 KB PNG >>24812242 (OP) # And I already know people will say I'm LARPing if I don't post the results, so here. Go ahead and laugh
: Anonymous 404 KB JPG 03/11/22(Fri) 10:17:58 No.24812242 grindr >Got extremely sick a few weeks later >HIV test just came back HIV positive I should kill myself huh? : Anonymous >MtF >Wanted to try the BBC meme so hooked up with some guy on 03/11/22 (Fri)10:18:24 No.24812251 03/11/22 (Fri)10:18:49 No.24812256 Anonymous Component Results HIV Ag/Ab combo Your Value Reactive Standard Range Non Reactive HIV-1 p24 Ag detected. By Chemiluminescent Microparticle Immunoassay General Information Ordered by MD Collected on 03/09/2022 2:53 PM (Blood) Resulted on 03/09/2022 8:24 PM Result Status: Final result 1625726061870.png 99 KB PNG >>24812242 (OP) # And I already know people will say I'm LARPing if I don't post the results, so here. Go ahead and laugh

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anon wants a brother or 2 | /r/Greentext

Ben NL brother i want to be in a brotherhood BR see fren 13:31 08/16/22(Tue)13:30:16 No.69831736 does anyone here also wish to be in a brotherhood. i have one brother that i really love but he moved out so i see him very rarely and i really want the feeling of having brothers you can trust and are a priority to you. i fantasize sometimes about being adopted by someone and telling me that he adopted 5 other people to form a brotherhood and then having 5-8 brothers that care about me. anyone else have this fantasy hug fren 7 KB JPG 14% View Thread
Ben NL brother i want to be in a brotherhood BR see fren 13:31 08/16/22(Tue)13:30:16 No.69831736 does anyone here also wish to be in a brotherhood. i have one brother that i really love but he moved out so i see him very rarely and i really want the feeling of having brothers you can trust and are a priority to you. i fantasize sometimes about being adopted by someone and telling me that he adopted 5 other people to form a brotherhood and then having 5-8 brothers that care about me. anyone else have this fantasy hug fren 7 KB JPG 14% View Thread

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Anon catches a Virus | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/08/20(Tue)02:43:04 No.535226782 1606304985763.gif 331 KB GIF >download video game for free >default search engine changes
: Anonymous 12/08/20(Tue)02:43:04 No.535226782 1606304985763.gif 331 KB GIF >download video game for free >default search engine changes

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anon loves his dad | /r/Greentext

>dad notices >thinks it's because of my siblings >thinks i don't get enough attention >takes me to the planetarium every other weekend because i love space >falls asleep every time because he's working 12h a day >he always takes me >still alive 29 KB JPG >be me >sad depressed >suicidal thoughts >thanks dad
>dad notices >thinks it's because of my siblings >thinks i don't get enough attention >takes me to the planetarium every other weekend because i love space >falls asleep every time because he's working 12h a day >he always takes me >still alive 29 KB JPG >be me >sad depressed >suicidal thoughts >thanks dad

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Anon glows in the dank | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)18:07:27 No.158997931 >>158997375 (OP) # >psychiatrist asks what I enjoy doing >tell him I like doing "image edits" >he asks if I ever post them 13 KB PNG >I tell him I do and that they're used by other people and potentially seen millions of times but it's all posted anonymously >he gets really interested and asks to see >show him over 100 original pepe edits >he says he's seen the character before >next session >him and 2 other psychiatrists are in the room, says he invited them to help me >they ask more about my memes >show them my greentexts which were reposted by redditors and got tens of thousands, up to millions of views >show them my original memes that have "know your meme" pages or big online presences >they're recording me and taking notes the whole time through >get uncomfortable and don't book a follow-up appointment >doctor has offered to cover all further sessions and meet with me 3 times a week as a "case study"
Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)18:07:27 No.158997931 >>158997375 (OP) # >psychiatrist asks what I enjoy doing >tell him I like doing "image edits" >he asks if I ever post them 13 KB PNG >I tell him I do and that they're used by other people and potentially seen millions of times but it's all posted anonymously >he gets really interested and asks to see >show him over 100 original pepe edits >he says he's seen the character before >next session >him and 2 other psychiatrists are in the room, says he invited them to help me >they ask more about my memes >show them my greentexts which were reposted by redditors and got tens of thousands, up to millions of views >show them my original memes that have "know your meme" pages or big online presences >they're recording me and taking notes the whole time through >get uncomfortable and don't book a follow-up appointment >doctor has offered to cover all further sessions and meet with me 3 times a week as a "case study"

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anon pulls a prank | /r/Greentext

Hannah Grieco @writesloud Just got a PR email asking me to write about these new classroom safety pods. I hate everybody. BLACK LIVES MATTER 6:48 AM Jul 12, 2022 Twitter Web App 1657694714246.png 1.23 MB PNG >have a great day at American school : Anonymous (ID: IcDZk+a2) = 07/14/22(Thu)06:07:05 No.386650402 >>386648738 (OP) # >>386649350 # >be the first to get in >quickly close it >watch everyone die through the little window >>386650595 # >>386650777 # >>386650808 # >>386650836 # >>386651035 # >>386651884 # >>386653127 # >>386670116 # >>386670883 # >>386677478 # >>386677721 # >>386681427 # >>386683909 #
Hannah Grieco @writesloud Just got a PR email asking me to write about these new classroom safety pods. I hate everybody. BLACK LIVES MATTER 6:48 AM Jul 12, 2022 Twitter Web App 1657694714246.png 1.23 MB PNG >have a great day at American school : Anonymous (ID: IcDZk+a2) = 07/14/22(Thu)06:07:05 No.386650402 >>386648738 (OP) # >>386649350 # >be the first to get in >quickly close it >watch everyone die through the little window >>386650595 # >>386650777 # >>386650808 # >>386650836 # >>386651035 # >>386651884 # >>386653127 # >>386670116 # >>386670883 # >>386677478 # >>386677721 # >>386681427 # >>386683909 #

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Anon is tired of women | /r/Greentext

1h (8/16 11:46). 69830749 9 Re. 1 Img. JPG 56KB (379 × 488) 2 Replies . . Lmao women 3D women are NOT important : >Be on a small autistic discord server revolving around a shared autistic hobby >No I am not sharing you'll ruin it just like this whole site >Random semi-normie of the server adds a female that is supposedly interested in autistic hobby >female tries to gain attention all the time >interrupts our autistic convos about the autistic hobby all the time to tell about her own day and problems and all things unrelated to the autistic hobby >Does not really even want to do anything related to the autistic hobby and just tries to pull off all the beta hoarding tricks in the book >we don't give her the attention she thinks she deserves and aren't really interested in her just because she's a girl te~he >We are all extremely bitter virgins excluding half-normie and we've all seen this same rodeo so many times before, we are tired >She throws a massive bitch fit and leaves when we aren't "friendly" enough in her opinion and instead discuss the hobby and not instantly orbit her
1h (8/16 11:46). 69830749 9 Re. 1 Img. JPG 56KB (379 × 488) 2 Replies . . Lmao women 3D women are NOT important : >Be on a small autistic discord server revolving around a shared autistic hobby >No I am not sharing you'll ruin it just like this whole site >Random semi-normie of the server adds a female that is supposedly interested in autistic hobby >female tries to gain attention all the time >interrupts our autistic convos about the autistic hobby all the time to tell about her own day and problems and all things unrelated to the autistic hobby >Does not really even want to do anything related to the autistic hobby and just tries to pull off all the beta hoarding tricks in the book >we don't give her the attention she thinks she deserves and aren't really interested in her just because she's a girl te~he >We are all extremely bitter virgins excluding half-normie and we've all seen this same rodeo so many times before, we are tired >She throws a massive bitch fit and leaves when we aren't "friendly" enough in her opinion and instead discuss the hobby and not instantly orbit her

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Anon is struggeling | /r/Greentext


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Anon fix the electicity | /r/Greentext

Anonymous| 45657137 155,5 kB PNG 1 perccel ezelőtt ... Anon Does Drug Bust >Be me, 14 at the time >Lights constantly flickering and PC randomly turning off >Call up electricity company >They supposedly fix the problem >It still happens >Mum jokes that the neighbour is probably growing cannabis and is tapping into our electricity supply >Neighbour has a big shed >I decide to climb over his fence and take a look inside >somuchweed.png >I take pictures with my phone >Come back home and tell my mummy >I call 101 (Non-emergency line) >Woman thinks I'm lying >Next day the police smash down his door and take all his weed away >He goes to jail and his kid gets taken away That's what you get for messing with my Minecraft experience. REPLY
Anonymous| 45657137 155,5 kB PNG 1 perccel ezelőtt ... Anon Does Drug Bust >Be me, 14 at the time >Lights constantly flickering and PC randomly turning off >Call up electricity company >They supposedly fix the problem >It still happens >Mum jokes that the neighbour is probably growing cannabis and is tapping into our electricity supply >Neighbour has a big shed >I decide to climb over his fence and take a look inside >somuchweed.png >I take pictures with my phone >Come back home and tell my mummy >I call 101 (Non-emergency line) >Woman thinks I'm lying >Next day the police smash down his door and take all his weed away >He goes to jail and his kid gets taken away That's what you get for messing with my Minecraft experience. REPLY

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Anon takes the diabetes pill | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 46 KB JPG 08/10/22(Wed)16:57:38 >be me pathetic fatass trying to lose weight for health and mostly vanity reasons >Suddenly Feel like s--- for unrelated reasons >idea.png >Post pictures on fat fetishist groups sharing my snapchat and end up getting free compliments and stuff from random dudes on the internet >Feel better about myself Thanks fat fetishist weirdos 3 Replies No.883658128 View Thread
: Anonymous 46 KB JPG 08/10/22(Wed)16:57:38 >be me pathetic fatass trying to lose weight for health and mostly vanity reasons >Suddenly Feel like s--- for unrelated reasons >idea.png >Post pictures on fat fetishist groups sharing my snapchat and end up getting free compliments and stuff from random dudes on the internet >Feel better about myself Thanks fat fetishist weirdos 3 Replies No.883658128 View Thread

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Anon asks out a girl | /r/Greentext

File: bug eyed wojak.jpg (55 KB, 1000x1000) O Anonymous 08/15/22(Mon)13:26:06 No.883942338 ► I hate Tumblr sometimes >be me a couple years ago> >sophomore in high school> >homecoming is in a week> >There's a cute girl I like, who is also an artist> >I draw sometimes, so we have that in common> >See her drawing in the library> >heregoesnothing.jpg> >Start talking to her, she seems interested> >We start talking about True Crime> >I mention the recent Parkland shooting> >She says "That guys not as cute as some of the others"> >Waitwhat.jpg> >Gets out a drawing notebook> >shows me a picture she drew of the two columbine shooters as a gay couple> >W--.jpg> >W-- X10> >She says, "My favorite one is Adam, he's just such a cutie"> >MFW Adam is the Sandy Hook shooter> >I panic, and blurt out "You wanna go to homecoming with me?"> >She says "No thanks, you seem nice but you're not attractive"> >MFW a guy who shot up an elementary school has more girls than me>
File: bug eyed wojak.jpg (55 KB, 1000x1000) O Anonymous 08/15/22(Mon)13:26:06 No.883942338 ► I hate Tumblr sometimes >be me a couple years ago> >sophomore in high school> >homecoming is in a week> >There's a cute girl I like, who is also an artist> >I draw sometimes, so we have that in common> >See her drawing in the library> >heregoesnothing.jpg> >Start talking to her, she seems interested> >We start talking about True Crime> >I mention the recent Parkland shooting> >She says "That guys not as cute as some of the others"> >Waitwhat.jpg> >Gets out a drawing notebook> >shows me a picture she drew of the two columbine shooters as a gay couple> >W--.jpg> >W-- X10> >She says, "My favorite one is Adam, he's just such a cutie"> >MFW Adam is the Sandy Hook shooter> >I panic, and blurt out "You wanna go to homecoming with me?"> >She says "No thanks, you seem nice but you're not attractive"> >MFW a guy who shot up an elementary school has more girls than me>

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Anon is not pushing the cart | /r/Greentext

J ẨM >You will push the cart >You will keep pushing >You will push this cart or I will push you into a grave!
J ẨM >You will push the cart >You will keep pushing >You will push this cart or I will push you into a grave!

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