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Anon went To Pool when he was 12 | /r/Greentext

File: jE6lfgVa.jpg (24 KB, 512x512) Anonymous 02/17/18(Sat)16:39:51 No.760243012 >be me >12 years >ask mom if i can go to the pool >"sure, just dont talk to any strangers" >ff couple of hours >in changing room >see guy browsing 4chan on phone >he sees me looking >"F--- off normie" >mfw O Anonymous 02/17/18(Sat)16:42:54 No.7602432 F--- off normie
File: jE6lfgVa.jpg (24 KB, 512x512) Anonymous 02/17/18(Sat)16:39:51 No.760243012 >be me >12 years >ask mom if i can go to the pool >"sure, just dont talk to any strangers" >ff couple of hours >in changing room >see guy browsing 4chan on phone >he sees me looking >"F--- off normie" >mfw O Anonymous 02/17/18(Sat)16:42:54 No.7602432 F--- off normie

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Anon is a /biz/nessman | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: a2vTOQe8 01/04/20(Sat)15:47:30 No.16745844 >>16745129 (OP) # I sometimes send bills to companies for money- transfer services. In most cases they don't pay, but when they do, I get free money. My company's website clearly states that it offers services of you transfering money to me by paying my unsolicited bills. Thats the service, if you pay the bill you got the service and thus can't complain. I do offer a 1 month full-refund, just to avoid most lawsuits. I get a lot of repeat orders from large companies with s----- accountants. Technically not a scam however, cause I've already been challenged in court and I got off with lawyer fees paid. >>16745879 # >>16745935 # >>16745940 # >>16745949 # >>16745953 # >>16746008 # >>16746012 # >>16746038 # >>16746053 # >>16746077 # >>16746437 # >>16746643 # >>16747336 # >>16747365 # >>16749433 # >>16749443 #
Anonymous (ID: a2vTOQe8 01/04/20(Sat)15:47:30 No.16745844 >>16745129 (OP) # I sometimes send bills to companies for money- transfer services. In most cases they don't pay, but when they do, I get free money. My company's website clearly states that it offers services of you transfering money to me by paying my unsolicited bills. Thats the service, if you pay the bill you got the service and thus can't complain. I do offer a 1 month full-refund, just to avoid most lawsuits. I get a lot of repeat orders from large companies with s----- accountants. Technically not a scam however, cause I've already been challenged in court and I got off with lawyer fees paid. >>16745879 # >>16745935 # >>16745940 # >>16745949 # >>16745953 # >>16746008 # >>16746012 # >>16746038 # >>16746053 # >>16746077 # >>16746437 # >>16746643 # >>16747336 # >>16747365 # >>16749433 # >>16749443 #

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Anon finds a reason | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 1.49 MB JPG 08/04/22(Thu)21:41:14 No.168897845 The taste of their food and the face of their women made the British man the best sailor in the world
: Anonymous 1.49 MB JPG 08/04/22(Thu)21:41:14 No.168897845 The taste of their food and the face of their women made the British man the best sailor in the world

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Anon Plays TF2 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 82 KB JPG 08/16/22(Tue)08:02:53 No.69832339 >play tf2 all day >decide to go to bed >lying in bed, hear faint voice >'that right there wasn't gettin any lighter' >w--.jpg >must have been the wind >"MEEEDDDDICC" "DOC CMON MAN" "3..2..1.. START FIGHTING!" >terrified >get up from bed >launch tf2
: Anonymous 82 KB JPG 08/16/22(Tue)08:02:53 No.69832339 >play tf2 all day >decide to go to bed >lying in bed, hear faint voice >'that right there wasn't gettin any lighter' >w--.jpg >must have been the wind >"MEEEDDDDICC" "DOC CMON MAN" "3..2..1.. START FIGHTING!" >terrified >get up from bed >launch tf2

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Anon is a doctor | /r/Greentext

Anonymous I'm ready to do surgery 757 KB PNG 08/16/22(Tue)18:47:17 No.884001453 >be me, 24m, high school dropout >jobless, living with parents >walking home from grocery store and see an old woman fallen over, blood everywhere >hide behind a wall until somebody else sorts the situation out >people come and bandage her up and call her an ambulance >when clearly the situation has been handled and an audience, has gathered, I run over >"I'm a doctor, what seems to be the problem" >audience members gasp with delight >"thank god you're here" >act like I know my s--- until the ambulance arrives >help carry woman into ambulance and then say goodbye and wish her luck >go home >mfw the next day i'm on the front cover of the local newspaper >"Hero doctor saves injured elderly woman" I could actually be a doctor with no training the only things you have to do are say you're a doctor and prescribe people whatever tf they want
Anonymous I'm ready to do surgery 757 KB PNG 08/16/22(Tue)18:47:17 No.884001453 >be me, 24m, high school dropout >jobless, living with parents >walking home from grocery store and see an old woman fallen over, blood everywhere >hide behind a wall until somebody else sorts the situation out >people come and bandage her up and call her an ambulance >when clearly the situation has been handled and an audience, has gathered, I run over >"I'm a doctor, what seems to be the problem" >audience members gasp with delight >"thank god you're here" >act like I know my s--- until the ambulance arrives >help carry woman into ambulance and then say goodbye and wish her luck >go home >mfw the next day i'm on the front cover of the local newspaper >"Hero doctor saves injured elderly woman" I could actually be a doctor with no training the only things you have to do are say you're a doctor and prescribe people whatever tf they want

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Friendly Fire | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous RE SA SHOOT ME $12 15 KB JPG 08/16/22(Tue)09:24:45 No.69832483 >go to store >there's a screen hooked to a security camera >some dude is on a screen >"awfully brave of this guy to walk outside with that hairline and a posture like that" >wait a minute >it's me So yeah, I'm killing myself today View Thread
: Anonymous RE SA SHOOT ME $12 15 KB JPG 08/16/22(Tue)09:24:45 No.69832483 >go to store >there's a screen hooked to a security camera >some dude is on a screen >"awfully brave of this guy to walk outside with that hairline and a posture like that" >wait a minute >it's me So yeah, I'm killing myself today View Thread

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anon gets the 4th wall ending | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 543509053 102,8 kB JPG 9 REPLIES 2 sa. önce >agree with the antagonist >die to him intentionally >uninstall game and tell everyone you finished it 6 İMAGES REPLY
Anonymous | 543509053 102,8 kB JPG 9 REPLIES 2 sa. önce >agree with the antagonist >die to him intentionally >uninstall game and tell everyone you finished it 6 İMAGES REPLY

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Anon tells the story of Aphrodite Kallipygos, the goddess with a beautiful butt

File: 1648437301589.png (855 KB, 510x680) O REJECT MODERNITY, EMBRACE TRADITION Anonymous (ID: JjHx40NW) Ⓒ 08/14/22(Sun)11:39:11 No.391092223 ► >>391092291 >>391092489 >>391092755 >>391092948 >>391093375 >>391093637 >>391093962 >>391093992 >>391095957 >>391096204 >>391096590 >>391096667 >>391096694 >>391096767 >>391096785 >>391096951 >>391097546 >>391098023 >>391099694 >>391099870 >>391099894 >>391100658>>391101040 >>391101514 >>391102429 >>391102912 >>391103099 >>391103447 >>391105427 >>391108108>>391108245 >>391109134 >>391109170 >>391109720 >>391110929 >>391111509 >>391113222 >>391114129 >>391114322 >>391114387 >>391114582 >>391114755 >>391115038 >>391115527 >>391115923 >>391116135 >>391117341 >>391119234>>391119684 >>391120307 >Let me tell you a story about the worship of a deity in antiquity: Aphrodite Kallipygos or Aphrodite "with the great butt" and a temple in Syracuse dedicated to great butts >The origin of the cult of this Aphrodite would be the following. Athenaios (12.554c-e) say that the two daughters of a relatively prosperous farmer in Siracusa (Italy), beautiful, cheerful and of sharp wit, bet one Sicilian summer evening on the beauty of their buttocks to see which of them was worthy of the first prize. For this they agreed to show it to a passerby and have him decide who was the winner >The girls lived on the outskirts of the city, so they had to wait a long time to find the appropriate judge. At last a young man with broad shoulders and a neat tunic appeared on the slope of the road. At the precise moment when he reached where they were and saw them, Helena lifted her tunic and, smiling, looked down at her buttocks >So when Aspasia told him about the bet and in turn showed him her own buttocks, he could no longer think of anything but Helena's ass. Of course you voted for it. In fact, he fell in love with her, so much so that when he returned to the city he told his younger brother what had happened. The younger brother went to the outskirts of town as soon as he could to see the girls. It turns out that he fell in love with the younger sister, even long before he was lucky enough to see her bare buttocks >The boys plead with their father to allow them to marry the girls, and the father could not deny them when he saw the girls. They married, and the girls became famous for their assets, and were called The Fair-Buttocks. Since they had become rich and famous, they founded a temple to Aphrodite in thanks, and it was dedicated to he aspect of the goddess relating to beautiful butts, and the temple was then manned only by women with beautiful rear-ends Anonymous (ID: JjHx40NW) 08/14/22 (Sun)11:39:38 No.391092291 >>391105720 >>391108245 >>391110929 >>391114413 >>391115038 >>391116244 File: 555501589.png (692 KB, 1000x664) >>391092223 (OP) Also: >>391093637 >>391096785 >>391096951 >>391099870 >Ancient Greece knew the beauty pageants, it is known that the Callipyge festivals were celebrated in honor of Aphrodite, the celebration consisted of a beauty pageant in which women exposed their buttocks to be judged, hence the term Callipyge, the one with beautiful buttocks There was a f------ "Miss Butt" in Ancient Greece, the cradle of Western Civilization.

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anon tries to be nice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Dinosaurs 1.01 MB JPG 08/05/22(Fri)15:48:02 No.883319932 Happened earlier today >Be Me >Watching p--- >Get bored and decide to watch cam girls instead. >Have an account already with tokens and s---. >Click on hot girl with big t------ >After watching for a while I get an idea. >type in chat: "What's your favorite Dinosaur?" >Message pops up on her stream, and she thinks about it. >try's describing a stegosaurus before remembering what it's called. >she starts happily talking about how she used to go to the park with her dad as a kid, and pretend to search for dinosaur bones in the sand. >She looks sad after she finish the story. >She seems deep in thought. >She gets up and ends the stream. My autism wanted to know what dinosaurs online strippers liked, and instead I sent a cam-girl into depression over her poor current relationship with her father. 6 Replies / 4 Images View Thread
: Anonymous Dinosaurs 1.01 MB JPG 08/05/22(Fri)15:48:02 No.883319932 Happened earlier today >Be Me >Watching p--- >Get bored and decide to watch cam girls instead. >Have an account already with tokens and s---. >Click on hot girl with big t------ >After watching for a while I get an idea. >type in chat: "What's your favorite Dinosaur?" >Message pops up on her stream, and she thinks about it. >try's describing a stegosaurus before remembering what it's called. >she starts happily talking about how she used to go to the park with her dad as a kid, and pretend to search for dinosaur bones in the sand. >She looks sad after she finish the story. >She seems deep in thought. >She gets up and ends the stream. My autism wanted to know what dinosaurs online strippers liked, and instead I sent a cam-girl into depression over her poor current relationship with her father. 6 Replies / 4 Images View Thread

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Anon meets someone at the gym | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous * 290 KB PNG 08/16/22(Tue)19:10:32 No.67991793 >be me >somewhat shy >walking to the squat rack >from the corner of my eye, see the most beautiful man I've ever seen walking in the same direction >can literally see his 10-pack through his shirt >actcool.gif >keep on walking >so does he >reach squat rack >he's looking right at me >somehow, my shyness just disappears and some primal instinct kicks in, so I make eye contact and keep looking into the darkest, soul-melting eyes I've ever had the pleasure of laying my eyes on >adrenaline kicks in, and without thinking, I move closer to him >he moves closer as well >in the heat of the moment, without even saying anything, I slowly go in for a kiss >my heart skips as many beats as humanly possible as I realise he does the same >suddenly, *bump* >mfw my head almost shattered the mirror trying to kiss my reflection Appreciate yourself anons. You're already beautiful exactly the way you are.
: Anonymous * 290 KB PNG 08/16/22(Tue)19:10:32 No.67991793 >be me >somewhat shy >walking to the squat rack >from the corner of my eye, see the most beautiful man I've ever seen walking in the same direction >can literally see his 10-pack through his shirt >actcool.gif >keep on walking >so does he >reach squat rack >he's looking right at me >somehow, my shyness just disappears and some primal instinct kicks in, so I make eye contact and keep looking into the darkest, soul-melting eyes I've ever had the pleasure of laying my eyes on >adrenaline kicks in, and without thinking, I move closer to him >he moves closer as well >in the heat of the moment, without even saying anything, I slowly go in for a kiss >my heart skips as many beats as humanly possible as I realise he does the same >suddenly, *bump* >mfw my head almost shattered the mirror trying to kiss my reflection Appreciate yourself anons. You're already beautiful exactly the way you are.

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Anon makes a deal with the demons | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/14/17(Fri)15:49:12 No.38371043 >uncle was dying of cancer >on hospital bed >doctors said he had 1 day left to live >sad, go to my room and lock the door >radomly decide to do a blood sacrifice by sacrificing my life for his >drew a pentagram on a piece of paper and then cut my palm with a knife and soaked the paper with blood 19 KB JPG >prayed that my uncle gets better in exchange for my life >next day uncle makes a miraculous recovery This was just a coincidence r-right?
: Anonymous 07/14/17(Fri)15:49:12 No.38371043 >uncle was dying of cancer >on hospital bed >doctors said he had 1 day left to live >sad, go to my room and lock the door >radomly decide to do a blood sacrifice by sacrificing my life for his >drew a pentagram on a piece of paper and then cut my palm with a knife and soaked the paper with blood 19 KB JPG >prayed that my uncle gets better in exchange for my life >next day uncle makes a miraculous recovery This was just a coincidence r-right?

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Anon doesn't like Ben | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous NOBODY CAME FOR ME 215 KB PNG 08/16/22(Tue)08:24:46 No.69829904 >came home late and drunk yesterday >walk past parents room >hear moaning >drunk af so I decide to listen very quick >hear dad role playing as the oldest son of our neighbors : Anonymous >mom keeps saying "f--- me Ben" obviously imagining my dad is him >go to my room >havent slept since and feel like doing pic related 08/16/22(Tue)10:11:33 No.69830568 Your parents are unironically bad people for having this sort of kink and especially indulging it.
: Anonymous NOBODY CAME FOR ME 215 KB PNG 08/16/22(Tue)08:24:46 No.69829904 >came home late and drunk yesterday >walk past parents room >hear moaning >drunk af so I decide to listen very quick >hear dad role playing as the oldest son of our neighbors : Anonymous >mom keeps saying "f--- me Ben" obviously imagining my dad is him >go to my room >havent slept since and feel like doing pic related 08/16/22(Tue)10:11:33 No.69830568 Your parents are unironically bad people for having this sort of kink and especially indulging it.

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first comment best comment | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous V 61 KB JPG : Anonymous 14 KB JPG 08/15/22(Mon)15:07:11 No.67981881 >"Hey mind if I get a quick spot?" >"Uhh I don't think I can spot that much weight" H-have I made it? 08/15/22(Mon)15:08:34 No.67981901 >>67981881 (OP) # >OP doing bodyweight squats >>67982029 # >>67982042 # >>67982043 # >>67982047 # >>67982224 # >>67984006 # >>67984024 # >>67984151 # >>67984208 # >>67984453 # >>67984932 # >>67986199 # >>67986261 # >>67986444 # >>67987263 # >>67987861 # >>67987895 # >>67987969 # >>67988214 # >>67988223 # >>67988258 # >>67988519 # >>67988538 # >>67988573 #
: Anonymous V 61 KB JPG : Anonymous 14 KB JPG 08/15/22(Mon)15:07:11 No.67981881 >"Hey mind if I get a quick spot?" >"Uhh I don't think I can spot that much weight" H-have I made it? 08/15/22(Mon)15:08:34 No.67981901 >>67981881 (OP) # >OP doing bodyweight squats >>67982029 # >>67982042 # >>67982043 # >>67982047 # >>67982224 # >>67984006 # >>67984024 # >>67984151 # >>67984208 # >>67984453 # >>67984932 # >>67986199 # >>67986261 # >>67986444 # >>67987263 # >>67987861 # >>67987895 # >>67987969 # >>67988214 # >>67988223 # >>67988258 # >>67988519 # >>67988538 # >>67988573 #

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bigot bros rise up | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 17hUHZIB >>391310714 # 08/16/22(Tue)06:52:06 No.391312913 >Whites: I don't care if you're gay, i just don't want the wine stuff being shoved down my childrens throats, that's all! >Leftist: RACIST BIGOT!! >Muslim: If you are gay, you deserve to be castrated and burned alive >Leftist: Diversity is our strength!!
: Anonymous (ID: 17hUHZIB >>391310714 # 08/16/22(Tue)06:52:06 No.391312913 >Whites: I don't care if you're gay, i just don't want the wine stuff being shoved down my childrens throats, that's all! >Leftist: RACIST BIGOT!! >Muslim: If you are gay, you deserve to be castrated and burned alive >Leftist: Diversity is our strength!!

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Anon gets topped | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 404 KB JPG 03/11/22(Fri) 10:17:58 No.24812242 grindr >Got extremely sick a few weeks later >HIV test just came back HIV positive I should kill myself huh? : Anonymous >MtF >Wanted to try the BBC meme so hooked up with some guy on 03/11/22 (Fri)10:18:24 No.24812251 03/11/22 (Fri)10:18:49 No.24812256 Anonymous Component Results HIV Ag/Ab combo Your Value Reactive Standard Range Non Reactive HIV-1 p24 Ag detected. By Chemiluminescent Microparticle Immunoassay General Information Ordered by MD Collected on 03/09/2022 2:53 PM (Blood) Resulted on 03/09/2022 8:24 PM Result Status: Final result 1625726061870.png 99 KB PNG >>24812242 (OP) # And I already know people will say I'm LARPing if I don't post the results, so here. Go ahead and laugh
: Anonymous 404 KB JPG 03/11/22(Fri) 10:17:58 No.24812242 grindr >Got extremely sick a few weeks later >HIV test just came back HIV positive I should kill myself huh? : Anonymous >MtF >Wanted to try the BBC meme so hooked up with some guy on 03/11/22 (Fri)10:18:24 No.24812251 03/11/22 (Fri)10:18:49 No.24812256 Anonymous Component Results HIV Ag/Ab combo Your Value Reactive Standard Range Non Reactive HIV-1 p24 Ag detected. By Chemiluminescent Microparticle Immunoassay General Information Ordered by MD Collected on 03/09/2022 2:53 PM (Blood) Resulted on 03/09/2022 8:24 PM Result Status: Final result 1625726061870.png 99 KB PNG >>24812242 (OP) # And I already know people will say I'm LARPing if I don't post the results, so here. Go ahead and laugh

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anon wants a brother or 2 | /r/Greentext

Ben NL brother i want to be in a brotherhood BR see fren 13:31 08/16/22(Tue)13:30:16 No.69831736 does anyone here also wish to be in a brotherhood. i have one brother that i really love but he moved out so i see him very rarely and i really want the feeling of having brothers you can trust and are a priority to you. i fantasize sometimes about being adopted by someone and telling me that he adopted 5 other people to form a brotherhood and then having 5-8 brothers that care about me. anyone else have this fantasy hug fren 7 KB JPG 14% View Thread
Ben NL brother i want to be in a brotherhood BR see fren 13:31 08/16/22(Tue)13:30:16 No.69831736 does anyone here also wish to be in a brotherhood. i have one brother that i really love but he moved out so i see him very rarely and i really want the feeling of having brothers you can trust and are a priority to you. i fantasize sometimes about being adopted by someone and telling me that he adopted 5 other people to form a brotherhood and then having 5-8 brothers that care about me. anyone else have this fantasy hug fren 7 KB JPG 14% View Thread

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Anon catches a Virus | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/08/20(Tue)02:43:04 No.535226782 1606304985763.gif 331 KB GIF >download video game for free >default search engine changes
: Anonymous 12/08/20(Tue)02:43:04 No.535226782 1606304985763.gif 331 KB GIF >download video game for free >default search engine changes

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anon loves his dad | /r/Greentext

>dad notices >thinks it's because of my siblings >thinks i don't get enough attention >takes me to the planetarium every other weekend because i love space >falls asleep every time because he's working 12h a day >he always takes me >still alive 29 KB JPG >be me >sad depressed >suicidal thoughts >thanks dad
>dad notices >thinks it's because of my siblings >thinks i don't get enough attention >takes me to the planetarium every other weekend because i love space >falls asleep every time because he's working 12h a day >he always takes me >still alive 29 KB JPG >be me >sad depressed >suicidal thoughts >thanks dad

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Anon glows in the dank | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)18:07:27 No.158997931 >>158997375 (OP) # >psychiatrist asks what I enjoy doing >tell him I like doing "image edits" >he asks if I ever post them 13 KB PNG >I tell him I do and that they're used by other people and potentially seen millions of times but it's all posted anonymously >he gets really interested and asks to see >show him over 100 original pepe edits >he says he's seen the character before >next session >him and 2 other psychiatrists are in the room, says he invited them to help me >they ask more about my memes >show them my greentexts which were reposted by redditors and got tens of thousands, up to millions of views >show them my original memes that have "know your meme" pages or big online presences >they're recording me and taking notes the whole time through >get uncomfortable and don't book a follow-up appointment >doctor has offered to cover all further sessions and meet with me 3 times a week as a "case study"
Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)18:07:27 No.158997931 >>158997375 (OP) # >psychiatrist asks what I enjoy doing >tell him I like doing "image edits" >he asks if I ever post them 13 KB PNG >I tell him I do and that they're used by other people and potentially seen millions of times but it's all posted anonymously >he gets really interested and asks to see >show him over 100 original pepe edits >he says he's seen the character before >next session >him and 2 other psychiatrists are in the room, says he invited them to help me >they ask more about my memes >show them my greentexts which were reposted by redditors and got tens of thousands, up to millions of views >show them my original memes that have "know your meme" pages or big online presences >they're recording me and taking notes the whole time through >get uncomfortable and don't book a follow-up appointment >doctor has offered to cover all further sessions and meet with me 3 times a week as a "case study"

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anon pulls a prank | /r/Greentext

Hannah Grieco @writesloud Just got a PR email asking me to write about these new classroom safety pods. I hate everybody. BLACK LIVES MATTER 6:48 AM Jul 12, 2022 Twitter Web App 1657694714246.png 1.23 MB PNG >have a great day at American school : Anonymous (ID: IcDZk+a2) = 07/14/22(Thu)06:07:05 No.386650402 >>386648738 (OP) # >>386649350 # >be the first to get in >quickly close it >watch everyone die through the little window >>386650595 # >>386650777 # >>386650808 # >>386650836 # >>386651035 # >>386651884 # >>386653127 # >>386670116 # >>386670883 # >>386677478 # >>386677721 # >>386681427 # >>386683909 #
Hannah Grieco @writesloud Just got a PR email asking me to write about these new classroom safety pods. I hate everybody. BLACK LIVES MATTER 6:48 AM Jul 12, 2022 Twitter Web App 1657694714246.png 1.23 MB PNG >have a great day at American school : Anonymous (ID: IcDZk+a2) = 07/14/22(Thu)06:07:05 No.386650402 >>386648738 (OP) # >>386649350 # >be the first to get in >quickly close it >watch everyone die through the little window >>386650595 # >>386650777 # >>386650808 # >>386650836 # >>386651035 # >>386651884 # >>386653127 # >>386670116 # >>386670883 # >>386677478 # >>386677721 # >>386681427 # >>386683909 #

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