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Anon works at McDonalds | /r/Greentext

Just got a job >20 year old autist >working drive through at mcdonalds >"I'll have 2 chicken sandwiches 1 with no tomato" >"which one do you not want tomato on?" >some brief silence and a muffled sound >"either one, man" >messed up their change ttoo
Just got a job >20 year old autist >working drive through at mcdonalds >"I'll have 2 chicken sandwiches 1 with no tomato" >"which one do you not want tomato on?" >some brief silence and a muffled sound >"either one, man" >messed up their change ttoo

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anon is cheesin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous summer >work as produce stocker, load various fruits and veggies for minimum wage >crush on qt3.14 in deli department >watch her as she loads cheeses, dried meats, etc >be today 215 KB PNG 07/14/22(Thu)07:34:19 No.69402146 >be me, 21 y/o autist home from university >wageslave at supermarket over >approach deli delight while she's stocking sticks of mozzarella >"what's up anon?" >spill spaghetti >stammer out >"h-hey, we cheesin?" >"sorry, what was that?" >grab two sticks of mozz and start shaking them like maracas >"I-I said, we CHEESIN?" >yell it out slightly too loud >take massive bite of mozzarella through plastic wrap >customers look at us >she steps back >"s-sorry anon, I need to get back to work..." >try to play it off as a joke or something >"h-haha, all cheesed out for the day?" >barely audible through mouth full of plastic and cheese >deli girl looks down and speedwalks away >turn around, tears welling in my eyes >walk out of store two hours before the end of my shirt >still carrying unpaid for sticks of cheese Be honest, how badly did I hurt my chances with her? Anonymous 07/14/22(Thu)07:36:21 No.69402157 >>69402146 (OP) # you don't have autism you have retardism Anonymous 07/14/22(Thu)07:38:06 No.69402168 >>69402146 (OP) # you f------ retard Imao I love you : Anonymous 07/14/22(Thu)07:43:41 No.69402214 Would you say you were cheesed to meet her? 43 KB JPG
: Anonymous summer >work as produce stocker, load various fruits and veggies for minimum wage >crush on qt3.14 in deli department >watch her as she loads cheeses, dried meats, etc >be today 215 KB PNG 07/14/22(Thu)07:34:19 No.69402146 >be me, 21 y/o autist home from university >wageslave at supermarket over >approach deli delight while she's stocking sticks of mozzarella >"what's up anon?" >spill spaghetti >stammer out >"h-hey, we cheesin?" >"sorry, what was that?" >grab two sticks of mozz and start shaking them like maracas >"I-I said, we CHEESIN?" >yell it out slightly too loud >take massive bite of mozzarella through plastic wrap >customers look at us >she steps back >"s-sorry anon, I need to get back to work..." >try to play it off as a joke or something >"h-haha, all cheesed out for the day?" >barely audible through mouth full of plastic and cheese >deli girl looks down and speedwalks away >turn around, tears welling in my eyes >walk out of store two hours before the end of my shirt >still carrying unpaid for sticks of cheese Be honest, how badly did I hurt my chances with her? Anonymous 07/14/22(Thu)07:36:21 No.69402157 >>69402146 (OP) # you don't have autism you have retardism Anonymous 07/14/22(Thu)07:38:06 No.69402168 >>69402146 (OP) # you f------ retard Imao I love you : Anonymous 07/14/22(Thu)07:43:41 No.69402214 Would you say you were cheesed to meet her? 43 KB JPG

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Anon lays it out | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: KLJMCmBt 12/14/21(Tue)14:30:40 No.352130638 - Dec 13 F#BREAKING: Biden won't extend student loan relief trib.al/jY7YjBf 2.3K 18.2K 4K 1632888583859.png 450 KB PNG ←] >I will forgive $50k in student loans >no wait, I'll forgive $10k in student loans >okay maybe not that, but i'll extend the loan pause Trump implemented >okay its been long enough, go back to paying off your debt, buckos
Anonymous (ID: KLJMCmBt 12/14/21(Tue)14:30:40 No.352130638 - Dec 13 F#BREAKING: Biden won't extend student loan relief trib.al/jY7YjBf 2.3K 18.2K 4K 1632888583859.png 450 KB PNG ←] >I will forgive $50k in student loans >no wait, I'll forgive $10k in student loans >okay maybe not that, but i'll extend the loan pause Trump implemented >okay its been long enough, go back to paying off your debt, buckos

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Most helpful advice on 4chan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 41 KB JPG with advice? 05/04/22(Wed)02:14:49 No.68481520 >be me, 19 >gets called cute, funny, smart >both my roommates are women >they wonder why I never had a gf >never felt ready the idea of a relationship seems kinda daunting desu. anyone here Anonymous >>68481520 (OP) # idk man but i pooped myself a little today and i think you should know about it 05/04/22 (Wed)02:16:54 No.68481538
: Anonymous 41 KB JPG with advice? 05/04/22(Wed)02:14:49 No.68481520 >be me, 19 >gets called cute, funny, smart >both my roommates are women >they wonder why I never had a gf >never felt ready the idea of a relationship seems kinda daunting desu. anyone here Anonymous >>68481520 (OP) # idk man but i pooped myself a little today and i think you should know about it 05/04/22 (Wed)02:16:54 No.68481538

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Anon is an Aussie | /r/Greentext

9 KB PNG >be today >be Australian >Woke up sick >Call work to let them know I can't come in >"Yeahnoworries.mate" >contact local GP free and same day because >Appointment subsidised social healthcare >Paid sick leave because strong labour movement that guarantees working rights >Now nobody at work will catch my cold. >Food for customers not contaminated by my cold. >Company doesn't lose money because my sick leave is government subsidised >All bills continue to be paid on time, my day is stress-free because I have time to relax and recover. Today is yet another day I'm glad I'm not an American.
9 KB PNG >be today >be Australian >Woke up sick >Call work to let them know I can't come in >"Yeahnoworries.mate" >contact local GP free and same day because >Appointment subsidised social healthcare >Paid sick leave because strong labour movement that guarantees working rights >Now nobody at work will catch my cold. >Food for customers not contaminated by my cold. >Company doesn't lose money because my sick leave is government subsidised >All bills continue to be paid on time, my day is stress-free because I have time to relax and recover. Today is yet another day I'm glad I'm not an American.

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Don't do it bros | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 169 KB JPG loosing his son 03/16/21(Fri)01:07:26 No.45172310 >Be paramedic >Seen dozens of suicides in the last 8 years >The reactions of the loved ones are always bad >None is ever worse than a dad There is not a thing in this world that is more depressing sounding than a man sobbing while clutching his sons lifeless body. I remember one who killed himself by shotgun slug after he came back from Iraq. There was nothing left of him, and his father got home just as we were getting ready to leave. I couldn't let him see, so I stood there and just didn't let him through. He went downstairs to the basement and clutched his sons old baseball glove, rocking back and forth, just saying "papas here, buddy, papas here." Don't do it anons. >>45172699 #
Anonymous 169 KB JPG loosing his son 03/16/21(Fri)01:07:26 No.45172310 >Be paramedic >Seen dozens of suicides in the last 8 years >The reactions of the loved ones are always bad >None is ever worse than a dad There is not a thing in this world that is more depressing sounding than a man sobbing while clutching his sons lifeless body. I remember one who killed himself by shotgun slug after he came back from Iraq. There was nothing left of him, and his father got home just as we were getting ready to leave. I couldn't let him see, so I stood there and just didn't let him through. He went downstairs to the basement and clutched his sons old baseball glove, rocking back and forth, just saying "papas here, buddy, papas here." Don't do it anons. >>45172699 #

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Everyone deserves some love. | /r/Greentext


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Anon is a badass | /r/Greentext

Anonymous I am a mercenary 36 KB JPG 11/03/22(Thu)20:46:23 No.888449938 >Be me >A mercenary >Top of the line merc like my dad >familybusiness.jpeg >one day working on yacht of a client for security >partying, chicks in bikinis, alcohol >lifeisgood.png >all of a sudden s--- hits the fan >people brawling and fighting >try to stop it >herelgo.jpeg >try to stop dumb f--- with a sword he whipped out of nowhere >f----- almost cuts off my hand >try to restrain him and almost succeed >suddenly knocked down by my fellow security what a retard >see the sword sperg slapping my boys with his dumb weapon >bring out the sidearm >shitsGonna Getreal.death >Aim at him >All of a sudden go flying into boss's yacht >mfw i am going to be digested by the great pit of carcoon >mfw i, the galaxy's best bounty hunter died to a blind man
Anonymous I am a mercenary 36 KB JPG 11/03/22(Thu)20:46:23 No.888449938 >Be me >A mercenary >Top of the line merc like my dad >familybusiness.jpeg >one day working on yacht of a client for security >partying, chicks in bikinis, alcohol >lifeisgood.png >all of a sudden s--- hits the fan >people brawling and fighting >try to stop it >herelgo.jpeg >try to stop dumb f--- with a sword he whipped out of nowhere >f----- almost cuts off my hand >try to restrain him and almost succeed >suddenly knocked down by my fellow security what a retard >see the sword sperg slapping my boys with his dumb weapon >bring out the sidearm >shitsGonna Getreal.death >Aim at him >All of a sudden go flying into boss's yacht >mfw i am going to be digested by the great pit of carcoon >mfw i, the galaxy's best bounty hunter died to a blind man

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Anon is Swedish | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 804835787 15.7 kB JPG 3 min. ago >be born >one shot at life >live in sweden >so far so good >parents name you svenjamin and thats where it goes to s--- REPLY
Anonymous | 804835787 15.7 kB JPG 3 min. ago >be born >one shot at life >live in sweden >so far so good >parents name you svenjamin and thats where it goes to s--- REPLY

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Anon goes to the gas station | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 114 KB JPG 11/03/22(Thu)21:45:13 No.27640524 >be me at gas station late at night >no one around beside qt blonde girl with her car a few bays(?) over from my car >start filling up gas, look over and she's staring at me >look down and continue f------ with pump >she says really loudly: "41 dollars!?" and i look down again thinking she was genuinely upset at the price >she gets in her car and drives away >on my way home after leaving station realize she wanted to talk to me why the f--- do women play these subtle games all the time and is it over for me?
Anonymous 114 KB JPG 11/03/22(Thu)21:45:13 No.27640524 >be me at gas station late at night >no one around beside qt blonde girl with her car a few bays(?) over from my car >start filling up gas, look over and she's staring at me >look down and continue f------ with pump >she says really loudly: "41 dollars!?" and i look down again thinking she was genuinely upset at the price >she gets in her car and drives away >on my way home after leaving station realize she wanted to talk to me why the f--- do women play these subtle games all the time and is it over for me?

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Anon’s Brother Is Trans | /r/Greentext

Anonymous I may have trooned my sister. 11/04/22(Fri)07:54:13 No.888487886 >had an argument with sister about covid early 2020 >she mentions the abuse chinese people are receiving >I mention that I don't care >calls me racist, sexist, etc >sister is stereotypical hyper-progressive >she estranges herself from family >leaves family chat, blocks numbers, won't talk 922 KB JPG >don't care; she is an adult. do as she pleases >rest of family is practically the same; don't care. >fast forward 2 years >go to grandfathers wake. arrive a week early to help prepare >talking with grandmother late into night >get told that sister has started transitioning >she has literally told nobody except grandmother >my sister wants to be my brother >expect that she hasn't told anybody because she wants to create drama through shock >don't care >family is firm believer of YWNBAW >as an MtF, sis has that fabled 41% chance >tfw I still don't care Am I retarded, or is anybody else so desensitised to this s--- that they too just don't care?
Anonymous I may have trooned my sister. 11/04/22(Fri)07:54:13 No.888487886 >had an argument with sister about covid early 2020 >she mentions the abuse chinese people are receiving >I mention that I don't care >calls me racist, sexist, etc >sister is stereotypical hyper-progressive >she estranges herself from family >leaves family chat, blocks numbers, won't talk 922 KB JPG >don't care; she is an adult. do as she pleases >rest of family is practically the same; don't care. >fast forward 2 years >go to grandfathers wake. arrive a week early to help prepare >talking with grandmother late into night >get told that sister has started transitioning >she has literally told nobody except grandmother >my sister wants to be my brother >expect that she hasn't told anybody because she wants to create drama through shock >don't care >family is firm believer of YWNBAW >as an MtF, sis has that fabled 41% chance >tfw I still don't care Am I retarded, or is anybody else so desensitised to this s--- that they too just don't care?

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Anon is an artist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 8 KB JPG 1 Reply 10/30/22(Sun)23:18:56 No.888251644 [Open] >Just overheard my English aunt tell my mom that I act very artistic and asked if she ever thought about putting me in a special school >mfw my talents are finally being recognized View Thread Anonymous >>888251644 (OP) # https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rcFUpq8FltY 10/30/22(Sun)23:36:02 No.888252454
: Anonymous 8 KB JPG 1 Reply 10/30/22(Sun)23:18:56 No.888251644 [Open] >Just overheard my English aunt tell my mom that I act very artistic and asked if she ever thought about putting me in a special school >mfw my talents are finally being recognized View Thread Anonymous >>888251644 (OP) # https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rcFUpq8FltY 10/30/22(Sun)23:36:02 No.888252454

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Anon becomes local cryptid | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/04/22(Fri)09:44:53 No.888482576 >be me, late october 2016 >own completely black sclera contact lenses for weeb reasons >midnight, be wide awake and not tired at all, decide to take a walk >thinking about the news of the random clown sightings >get a stupid idea and decide to go through with it since I live alone and nobody can stop me >put on the contact lenses and white face paint, not any kind of full-blown clown makeup but just enough to look creepy obviously unnatural in poor light >take a long walk around the empty city streets, vibing the dark night air and the stark light of street lamps >not many people around, see like 7 people altogether >pass them by like I normally would, but flash a wide grin to the ones who accidentally make eye contact >get back home around 2 am, take contacts off and take a shower, go to sleep like I normally do >forget all about this incident >be now, halloween 2022 >covid has calmed down where I live, sit at a party with people talking about returning to normal life >for some reason the 2016 clown sightings are brought up >though there were none in the town we live in, the new girlfriend of a guy I don't really know suddenly remembers something her friend told her >she tells how her friend swears up and down that she saw a man around that time but who SHE swears wasn't human, but the girl telling the story thinks was probably just some guy in a costume >unnaturally pale with something strange and unsettling about his eyes, she could not say what but human eyes don't look like that >and that thing had grinned at her >with disgusting, unnaturally brown-yellow teeth
Anonymous 11/04/22(Fri)09:44:53 No.888482576 >be me, late october 2016 >own completely black sclera contact lenses for weeb reasons >midnight, be wide awake and not tired at all, decide to take a walk >thinking about the news of the random clown sightings >get a stupid idea and decide to go through with it since I live alone and nobody can stop me >put on the contact lenses and white face paint, not any kind of full-blown clown makeup but just enough to look creepy obviously unnatural in poor light >take a long walk around the empty city streets, vibing the dark night air and the stark light of street lamps >not many people around, see like 7 people altogether >pass them by like I normally would, but flash a wide grin to the ones who accidentally make eye contact >get back home around 2 am, take contacts off and take a shower, go to sleep like I normally do >forget all about this incident >be now, halloween 2022 >covid has calmed down where I live, sit at a party with people talking about returning to normal life >for some reason the 2016 clown sightings are brought up >though there were none in the town we live in, the new girlfriend of a guy I don't really know suddenly remembers something her friend told her >she tells how her friend swears up and down that she saw a man around that time but who SHE swears wasn't human, but the girl telling the story thinks was probably just some guy in a costume >unnaturally pale with something strange and unsettling about his eyes, she could not say what but human eyes don't look like that >and that thing had grinned at her >with disgusting, unnaturally brown-yellow teeth

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Anon Hates YouTube Ads

: Anonymous A 38 KB JPG 05/17/22 (Tue)06:02:20 No.878323939 >get ad on YouTube >cover screen >turn off volume >close eyes >count down They will not win.
: Anonymous A 38 KB JPG 05/17/22 (Tue)06:02:20 No.878323939 >get ad on YouTube >cover screen >turn off volume >close eyes >count down They will not win.

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Anon Is Confused | /r/Greentext

Anonymous confused >meet girl in college >she seems to be super interested in me, talks about how she loves my writing and piano >ask her if she wants to come listen to me play piano >she smiles huge and says yes >i play, she sits next to me, i teach her some chords, gently touching her hand, she's blushing >i leave, she's texting me non-stop >at midnight she asks me to come over and write for her >i come over, we hang out in the college lounge and I write some poetry for her >light physical touching, she moved out to sit right next to me, looking me in my eyes a lot >she asks me to play piano, i do >she says we should get to know each other more >i say to come sit up on the piano with me >she starts talking about herself >i talk, then there's a pause and we look at eachother >i ask her, "can i kiss you?" >and her entire face drops in shock >"w-what?" >I say "oh, i-" >she says "where did that come from" >rest of the night we do our best to not make it awkward, go on a walk around campus, i say i got to go >i get home, she keeps texting me non-stop AUMEN 11/04/22(Fri)06:15:00 No.888485811 84 KB JPG what the ACTUAL f--- is going on??? Am I retarded or something? Was this not the perfect set up? in what world do i write poetry and play piano for you at midnight and it's not romantic?? im f------ confused man. if it was because i was ugly (which maybe i am) why would she invite me and do all this? now she wants to know if we're still going to hang out tomorrow night... why would she still want to hang out? why is she not ghosting me?
Anonymous confused >meet girl in college >she seems to be super interested in me, talks about how she loves my writing and piano >ask her if she wants to come listen to me play piano >she smiles huge and says yes >i play, she sits next to me, i teach her some chords, gently touching her hand, she's blushing >i leave, she's texting me non-stop >at midnight she asks me to come over and write for her >i come over, we hang out in the college lounge and I write some poetry for her >light physical touching, she moved out to sit right next to me, looking me in my eyes a lot >she asks me to play piano, i do >she says we should get to know each other more >i say to come sit up on the piano with me >she starts talking about herself >i talk, then there's a pause and we look at eachother >i ask her, "can i kiss you?" >and her entire face drops in shock >"w-what?" >I say "oh, i-" >she says "where did that come from" >rest of the night we do our best to not make it awkward, go on a walk around campus, i say i got to go >i get home, she keeps texting me non-stop AUMEN 11/04/22(Fri)06:15:00 No.888485811 84 KB JPG what the ACTUAL f--- is going on??? Am I retarded or something? Was this not the perfect set up? in what world do i write poetry and play piano for you at midnight and it's not romantic?? im f------ confused man. if it was because i was ugly (which maybe i am) why would she invite me and do all this? now she wants to know if we're still going to hang out tomorrow night... why would she still want to hang out? why is she not ghosting me?

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Anon plays red dead redemption 2 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/19(Sun)21:58:56 No.789916764 48 KB JPG >Be me >Been playing red dead 2 all day everyday for a week straight >Had to actually leave the house for groceries etc (I live at college so I actually have to do things for myself) > Decide to try to be more like Arthur Morgan >About to walk past a guy in the street, will say the first cowboy-ish thing that comes to my head when I pass him >Approach him >"Hey sexy" What the f---
: Anonymous 01/13/19(Sun)21:58:56 No.789916764 48 KB JPG >Be me >Been playing red dead 2 all day everyday for a week straight >Had to actually leave the house for groceries etc (I live at college so I actually have to do things for myself) > Decide to try to be more like Arthur Morgan >About to walk past a guy in the street, will say the first cowboy-ish thing that comes to my head when I pass him >Approach him >"Hey sexy" What the f---

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anon gets ousted by his autism | /r/Greentext

>calls 911 >still spazzing on floor c--- in hand >ambulance arrives Mega coomer 08/31/22(Wed)03:44:23 No.884824127 >be me >mega coomer >in room >fapping >get to my orgasm >orgasm so f------ hard i cant see or move or think >turns out i had a seizure and an orgasm >mom walks in on my spazzing on the floor holding my d--- >takes picture?? >emts see me spazzing on floor >go to hospital >get mri >i have brain tumor >not cancer >they can remove it >after surgery i check social media >see post about me >they belittle me and the p--- i was watching >"Big Busty Milf tells you how loved you are after intense and sensual f------" >mom goes on facebook tells same story, word for f------ word what do now anons they know im a coomer
>calls 911 >still spazzing on floor c--- in hand >ambulance arrives Mega coomer 08/31/22(Wed)03:44:23 No.884824127 >be me >mega coomer >in room >fapping >get to my orgasm >orgasm so f------ hard i cant see or move or think >turns out i had a seizure and an orgasm >mom walks in on my spazzing on the floor holding my d--- >takes picture?? >emts see me spazzing on floor >go to hospital >get mri >i have brain tumor >not cancer >they can remove it >after surgery i check social media >see post about me >they belittle me and the p--- i was watching >"Big Busty Milf tells you how loved you are after intense and sensual f------" >mom goes on facebook tells same story, word for f------ word what do now anons they know im a coomer

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Anon catches his wife cheating | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/04/22 (Fri) 16:43:10 No.888478700 >Be me, married man in his 30s >Wife works part time as a Nurse >Otherwise she spends a lot of time at home >She loves to chat with our neighbour a lot >He's in his 20s, fit built like a chad and confident >My wife talks to him every day >She and him hang out when I'm not home sometimes >My buddies sometimes pass by my house >They say neighbour flirts with wife when I'm not there >One of my buds saw him inside the house >Get really mad when I find out >I get off work early and head off home >I get through the door and up to the bedroom >Hear them giggling behind the door >Open the door... >He's naked, his ass arched towards the door >Wife is next to him naked and watching the door >Wife: "Oh no, Anon, you caught us." >Neighbour: "What will you do to me, sir?" What the f--- is happening here?
Anonymous 11/04/22 (Fri) 16:43:10 No.888478700 >Be me, married man in his 30s >Wife works part time as a Nurse >Otherwise she spends a lot of time at home >She loves to chat with our neighbour a lot >He's in his 20s, fit built like a chad and confident >My wife talks to him every day >She and him hang out when I'm not home sometimes >My buddies sometimes pass by my house >They say neighbour flirts with wife when I'm not there >One of my buds saw him inside the house >Get really mad when I find out >I get off work early and head off home >I get through the door and up to the bedroom >Hear them giggling behind the door >Open the door... >He's naked, his ass arched towards the door >Wife is next to him naked and watching the door >Wife: "Oh no, Anon, you caught us." >Neighbour: "What will you do to me, sir?" What the f--- is happening here?

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Anon spitting facts | /r/Greentext

Anonymous /genderequality/ 72 KB JPG 09/17/18(Mon)05:58:34 No.48178550 >be me >suck a d--- >gets called a f----- >girl sucks multiple d---- >not a f----- >mfw View Thread
Anonymous /genderequality/ 72 KB JPG 09/17/18(Mon)05:58:34 No.48178550 >be me >suck a d--- >gets called a f----- >girl sucks multiple d---- >not a f----- >mfw View Thread

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anon likes ryan gosling | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Dude 11/04/22 (Fri)00:12:37 No.70847234 >>70846397 (OP) # I've created an entire personality around Ryan Gosling's character in "The Place Beyond The Pines". When I say I pretend to be him I mean almost 1:1; >Was already into dirt biking 23 KB JPG >Starting going to the county fair every year, eventually started competing in the dirt bike races >Dress the same STOP >Started working in an auto shop despite not knowing anything about cars at the time >Starting carrying and practicing with a balisong >Almost never speak, communicate almost entirely with subtle nods and brief sentences I've never gotten a girlfriend out of it, but I have been flirted with on a few occasions, and I'm a very low-tier local celebrity and people in my town and towns near mine sometimes recognize me on the street because of the county fair. I've been doing this since 2013 and am in far too deep to ever stop.
: Anonymous Dude 11/04/22 (Fri)00:12:37 No.70847234 >>70846397 (OP) # I've created an entire personality around Ryan Gosling's character in "The Place Beyond The Pines". When I say I pretend to be him I mean almost 1:1; >Was already into dirt biking 23 KB JPG >Starting going to the county fair every year, eventually started competing in the dirt bike races >Dress the same STOP >Started working in an auto shop despite not knowing anything about cars at the time >Starting carrying and practicing with a balisong >Almost never speak, communicate almost entirely with subtle nods and brief sentences I've never gotten a girlfriend out of it, but I have been flirted with on a few occasions, and I'm a very low-tier local celebrity and people in my town and towns near mine sometimes recognize me on the street because of the county fair. I've been doing this since 2013 and am in far too deep to ever stop.

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