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>calls 911 >still spazzing on floor c--- in hand >ambulance arrives Mega coomer 08/31/22(Wed)03:44:23 No.884824127 >be me >mega coomer >in room >fapping >get to my orgasm >orgasm so f------ hard i cant see or move or think >turns out i had a seizure and an orgasm >mom walks in on my spazzing on the floor holding my d--- >takes picture?? >emts see me spazzing on floor >go to hospital >get mri >i have brain tumor >not cancer >they can remove it >after surgery i check social media >see post about me >they belittle me and the p--- i was watching >"Big Busty Milf tells you how loved you are after intense and sensual f------" >mom goes on facebook tells same story, word for f------ word what do now anons they know im a coomer

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File: chainsaw man.jpg (100 KB, 1627x915) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)07:55:42 No.252911844 ►>>252911908 >>252914188 >>252914377 >>252916077 >>252919346 >>252919475 >>252920429 >>252921191 W--? >> Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)07:58:52 No.252911908 ►>>252913869 >>252913951 >>252914028 File: 06467EB6-9CF5-49FC-84A4-5(...).jpg (599 KB, 2730x4096) >>252911844 (OP) Denji could've got laid. He f----- up bad.. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)08:21:47 No.252912389 ► ok groomer Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:44:20 No.252913869 ▶>>252914047 >>252914093 >>252914100 >>252914125 >>252914134 >>252914294 >>252914315 >>252914527 >>252914536 >>252914582 >>252914605 >>252914643 >>252914670 >>252914680 >>252914780 >>252914811 >>252915009 >>252915019 >>252915216 >>252915260 >>252915280 >>252915315 >>252916087 >>252916275 >>252916436 >>252916516 >>252916539 >>252916565 >>252916569 >>252916574 >>252916659 >>252916737 >>252916787 >>252916802 >>252916842 >>252916974 >>252917020 >>252917066 >>252917095 >>252917156 >>252917166 >>252917201 >>252917265 >>252917325 >>252917490 >>252917497 >>252917507 >>252918071 >>252918109 >>252918460 >>252918543 >>252918601 >>252918806 >>252919082 >>252919137 >>252919328 >>252919382 >>252919432 >>>252919448 >>>252919457 >>252919510 >>252919544 >>252919551 >>252919576 >>252919615 >>252919616 >>252919650 >>252919702 >>252919759 >>252919779 >>252919804 >>252919882 >>252919944 >>252919980 >>252920003 >>252920030 >>252920106 >>252920276 >>252920335 >>252920347 >>252920412 >>252920415 >>252920494 >>252920535 >>252920577 >>252920610 >>252920647 >>252920712 >>252921030 >>252921081 >>252921110 >>252921138 >>252921146 >>252921257 >>252921392 >>252921415 >>252922113 >>252922329 >>252922635 >>252922833 >>252923296 >>252923418 >>252923492 >>252923792 >>252924120 >>252924150 >>252925598 >>252925778 >>252925795 >>252925980 >>252926106 >>252926146 >>252926234 >>252926278 >>252926350 >>252926563 >>252926620 >>252926624 >>252926689 >>252926756 >>252926764 >>252926876 >>252926911 >>252926918 >>252926925 >>252927034 >>252927073 >>252927110 >>252927127 >>252927301 >>252927310 >>252927461 >>252927677 >>252928003 >>252928114 >>252928431 >>252928442 >>252928498 >>252928709 >>252928848 >>252928958 >>252929393 >>252929964 >>252930095 >>252930514 >>252930728 >>252930740 >>252930886 >>252930911 >>252931013 >>252931111 >>252931128 >>252931382 >>252931493 >>252911908 losing your virginity to the office slut is like eating the last balloon at a wedding as in, only have you in if only one Donaustk € 12, kwĐH T• MAZD ALİH PF 12. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:58:27 No.252914093 ► >>252913869 brother what Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)11:20:41 No.252915260▸ File: doomer Zoomer.png (802 KB, 720x720) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:55:23 No.252914047 ► e: 1266667790002282.jpg (134 KB, 1234x521) >>252913869 >losing your virginity to the office slut is like eating the last balloon at a wedding as in, only have you in if only one >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:59:10 No.252920412 ► >>252913869 This is a certified 4chan moment Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:15:48 No.252919432 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:57:35 No.252916842 ► e: b81.png (264 KB, 474x377) File: 1495908995260.jpg (78 KB, 1280×720) >>252913869 >>252913869 at last I truly see Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)13:25:28 No.252917325 ► File: i kneel.jpg (86 KB, 405x720) >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:47:49 N File: file.png (178 KB, 404x489) my f------ sides best post all day i kneel >>252913869 >t. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)19:13:15 No.252927301 ► File: it's so over.png (816 KB, 1121x673) >>252913869 My sides Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)10:33:58 No.252914670 ► File: 1683785740614529.jpg (30 KB, 567x496) >>252913869 Damn, this post really mindbroken everyone Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)10:44:57 No.252914811 ► File: 1674008914715180.jpg (29 KB, 680x504) >>252913869 Never have I seen a sentiment conveyed through nonsense with such clarity before. A true modern poet. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:27:55 No.252919702 ► File: 1235316161e7427.png (161 KB, 774x788) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)18:43:30 No.252926278 ► >>252913869 ESLkun... >>252913869 >The most sane CSM fan Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:56:05 No.252920335 ►>>252920351 File: 1681220115757034.jpg (95 KB, 1200x1200) >>252913869 Anon bravely dying of a stroke to shitpost one last time. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:30:34 No.252919759► File: 1667874544032923.png (42 KB, 289x256) >>252913869 XXXX Anonymous UCDAZZJIVYOCHT_42:16 No.2021 20224 IC: JUS_405_4.129 [12 <1, 300 Audinous 1024/2004; 004:20 > 2225 4000 desale Zaroor A 7841 IN It's because that man's arguments are so right that they leave no room for debate. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:41:19 No.252916516 ► File: 1679679759269336.jpg (9 KB, 302x225) >>252913869 >thread doesnt eat their balloons at a wedding Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:24:07 No.252923296▸ File: 1682955308164217.jpg (85 KB, 415x375) >>252913869 I HATE THIS i am extreme dissapoint *forced smile Are you allright anon? Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:26:44 No.252923418 ► File: Interrogation_mark.jpg (266 KB, 659x932) >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)11:33:23 No.252915435 ►>>252916020 >>252916057 >>252926173 I just want to know who in the hell eats balloons Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:20:59 No.252919551► e: 1683274551527799.jpg (22 KB, 800x450) Neory BonCINII VA; CDT > < = >>252913869 >only have you in if only one Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:26:01 No.252921146 ► 4148bc178917d22bf0a75c7d3(...).png (2.97 MB, 2508x3541) >>252913869 This feels like an eldritch being is trying to communicate and spread its wisdom on thots. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)18:51:26 No.252926563 ► File: 1628025425644.png (86 KB, 250x250) >>252913869 Holy f--- I missed these kind of posts. Thanks anon. "cb1100 "PRETEND" ? Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)19:06:55 No.252927073 ► File: 1616620564086.png (506 KB, 709x708) He is speaking the language of gods. >>252913869 beautiful I-I DON'T KNOW! JUST... PRETEND TO BE RETARDED OR SOMETHING! Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:06:02 No.252920577 ►>>252920932 >>252913869 Confused reaction image farmpost Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:36:25 No.252923792 ► File: 1680879053748926.jpg (87 KB, 644x954) >>252913869 Funniest s--- ive all week Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:02:20 No. File: 1647832313112.png (236 KB, 405x560) >>252913869 We got it all wrong. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:55:51 No.252916802 ► File: 1676938237963971.jpg (285 KB, 1711x1108) >>252913869 put me in the screenie weenie

Inaqar 137 KB JPG land you protect 12/24/23(Sun)09:54:58 No.91319497 >skilled warriors seen as the main bulwark against dark forces >sons of powerful and intelligent beings of legend >follow the teachings of a golden, almighty Master who created the >sometimes have powers such as shooting fire, lighting, shockwaves, blasts of ice or energy >wield some of the most powerful weapons around >battle beastly green enemies, awakened soulless armies, spirits, undead, malicious versions of yourselves, daemonic forces, and the literal embodiments of evil >wear bright colors to sell plastic toys >be the Ninja from Lego Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu >pic unrelated

Anonymous 10/26/13(Sat) 19:06 No.215457549 File: 1382828761196.jpg-(42 KB, 480x480, 1353212900339.jpg) >My dads face when >"Well have fun" >leaves room >Playing Silent Hill 3 >at the end >dad walks in >"Hey son, what you playing?" >Heather regurgitates a fetus >the other girl picks it up and shoves in his mouth >"I WILL BIRTH THE GOD"

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Anon catches his wife cheating | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/04/22 (Fri) 16:43:10 No.888478700 >Be me, married man in his 30s >Wife works part time as a Nurse >Otherwise she spends a lot of time at home >She loves to chat with our neighbour a lot >He's in his 20s, fit built like a chad and confident >My wife talks to him every day >She and him hang out when I'm not home sometimes >My buddies sometimes pass by my house >They say neighbour flirts with wife when I'm not there >One of my buds saw him inside the house >Get really mad when I find out >I get off work early and head off home >I get through the door and up to the bedroom >Hear them giggling behind the door >Open the door... >He's naked, his ass arched towards the door >Wife is next to him naked and watching the door >Wife: "Oh no, Anon, you caught us." >Neighbour: "What will you do to me, sir?" What the f--- is happening here?

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Anon spitting facts | /r/Greentext

Anonymous /genderequality/ 72 KB JPG 09/17/18(Mon)05:58:34 No.48178550 >be me >suck a d--- >gets called a f----- >girl sucks multiple d---- >not a f----- >mfw View Thread

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anon likes ryan gosling | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Dude 11/04/22 (Fri)00:12:37 No.70847234 >>70846397 (OP) # I've created an entire personality around Ryan Gosling's character in "The Place Beyond The Pines". When I say I pretend to be him I mean almost 1:1; >Was already into dirt biking 23 KB JPG >Starting going to the county fair every year, eventually started competing in the dirt bike races >Dress the same STOP >Started working in an auto shop despite not knowing anything about cars at the time >Starting carrying and practicing with a balisong >Almost never speak, communicate almost entirely with subtle nods and brief sentences I've never gotten a girlfriend out of it, but I have been flirted with on a few occasions, and I'm a very low-tier local celebrity and people in my town and towns near mine sometimes recognize me on the street because of the county fair. I've been doing this since 2013 and am in far too deep to ever stop.

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Anon pulls a prank | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/09/19(Sat) 18:02:25 No.794558144 >tell f----- brother he just got pranked >"how?" 23 KB JPG >tell him to look in his room >he spends 10 minutes looking for the prank >there was no prank >mfw that was the prank

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anon has the personality of a 4 year old | /r/Greentext

14 KB JPG If you take pleasure in making normies seethe, just ask them stuff >Be me >I was having a conversation with a few beta climatefags today >We were discussing fashion and I bring up H&M >"Ugh, H&M is the worst" >"Why?" >"Because they're, like so involved in fast fashion" >"What's that?" >"It's when clothing companies sell poorly made clothes at low prices" >"Why?" >"To make more money" >"Why's that bad?" >"Because it's so wasteful, loads of water is used on a single t shirt for example" >"Why?" >"Because cotton plants need a lot of water" >"So why don't we just give them water?" >"Because as a human race, we have a small, limited supply" >"Why's that bad?" At this point the climafag was starting to get p----- >"Because water is essential for human life" >"Why?" >"Because we need to wash, drink and water our crops" >"Why?" >"To survive" >"Why do we need to survive?" At this point the cuck was fuming and seething because he didn't have an answer. Very funny if you're unemployed and want some entertainment

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Anon lives under the sea | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/28/22 (Wed)13:09:59 No.70377616 1664335122333743.jpg 612 KB JPG >sea creature breaks pipeline >humans blame eachother >they all die in ww3 >fish population returns

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k/ommando goes hunting | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/14/12(Sat)11:27 No.10543005 This board is the closest thing to /outdoors/ so I though I might want to post this here. >Going boar hunting with friend. >He said he wants to bring his animal cause it can hunt effectively >"What's it's name" >"Fluffy" he says >That's a strange name for a dog a think >Comes back with a 140 lb cougar >I almost shoulder my rifle We didn't even get to shoot anything. It would just run into the wood's and and drag back dead boar's. It's almost cheating. We live in Ohio, so it's legal to own a cougar btw. AIN'T THAT SOME S---? Blackadder !hDddafoU.A 01/14/12(Sat)11:29 No.10543013 File 1326558540.gif-(700 KB, 480x270, 1326421282530.gif) Holy balls Anonymous 01/14/12(Sat)11:47 No. 10543108 File 1326559673.png-(55 KB, 493x425, 1310054150718.png) >upstanding african american gentlment break into your house >ITS A F------ COUGAR

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Anon is autistic | /r/Greentext

: Eyyyy Post your missed opportunities 11/03/22(Thu)10:14:09 No.888430212 138 KB PNG >be me in 9th grade >take a leak during recess in the bathroom stall >after I'm done, I hear laughter from above >look up to see a guy in my class peeping at my peepee >he tells everyone mine's so big I have to roll it up like a garden hose before tucking it in my pants >he even gave me a nickname: "voëla" which is slang for penis in my language >word spreads around school >girls kept asking me why they call me that, I just kinda shrug it off and carry on being the autistic little s--- that I am >eventually, some black girl comes up to me >"say, anon, I hear you have a big one" >"c'mon, I just wanna feel it inside me" >"just in and out, just once, please" >I laugh it off and thought she was joking mfw it took me a few years to realise she wasn't really joking, and that I probably missed countless other opportunities

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Anon married a trad wife but he’s a kafir. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 218 KB PNG 09/16/22(Fri)22:28:52 No.70236191 >get married in Pakistan after being an incel for nearly 30 years >import her back to the UK >she tells me my anime drawings, posters and gaming hobbies are all childish >forces me to watch Islamic content >makes me go to the mosque every day and pray >tfw don't even believe in God I'm losing my f------ mind, I want to send her back to Pakistan already. No amount of coochie is worth this much bs. I know that much

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Anon is mentally challenged | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 16 KB PNG 01/17/22(Mon)18:11:42 No.870858186 I got a good one for y'all >be me >4th grade >new class so we're all introducing ourselves >Teacher says to think up an adjective that describes us and starts with the first letter of our name >hear my classmates think of stuff like "Strong Shawn" and "Kind Kelly" >can't think of anything >imfreakingout.png >it's my turn now >now or never >"uh..r-r-retarded richard" >whole class laughs >teachers gets mad and sends me to the principal >suspended for a week for ableist language >mfw when i return and the whole class likes me Being a retard has it's perks

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Anon wants a girlfriend | /r/Greentext

All I ever think about is getting a nice gf. A while ago, I started looking at a ton of those " memes with all the different attributes listed. Think I could make one. "What would the best kind of girlfriend be?" I thought about it for days. Suddenly it hits me. An autistic seventeen and a half year old who is obsessed with sea slugs. She loves sea slugs, can't get enough of them. Her name Sadie, but everyone in town calls her Sadie the Slug Searcher, as she is always keeping an eye out for sea slugs. However, due to her intense autism she can never find them. She searches high and low, in supermarkets and back alleys, but never finds any (obviously). Everyone in town would make fun of her, but not me. Not me. I would be there. Not to help her or talk to her, I would be way too shy. Instead I would stand in the background, watching. Every time she would uncover something looking for a sea slug she would give her signature catchphrase "slug out slug out slugever you are!" to no avail and I would feel the beat of my heart increase with love. She would never notice me due to her lack of awareness (autism), but I would be there. One time I might even buy a sea slug off some shady website, and give it too her, or even multiple like a slimy bouquet. She would have to love me back. She would have no choice. I know it would not even hold a candle to her love of sea slugs, but any amount would make me the happiest man on the planet. I often think of the night me and her finally have to ourselves (and the multiple sea slugs I provided her with) and I can't get the notion out of my head. The day she slugs on my penis, I would finally be at peace. Oo° The ston 445 KB PNG gf"

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Horse meat is very nutritious | /r/Greentext

MongolChad.jpg 10 KB JPG >The Mongols consumed a steady diet of meat, milk, yogurt, and other dairy products, and they fought men who lived on gruel made from various grains. The grain diet of the peasant warriors stunted their bones, rotted their teeth, and left them weak and prone to disease. @absolutelyinane

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Greentext Stories - anon gets ousted by his autism | /r/Greentext

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>calls 911 >still spazzing on floor c--- in hand >ambulance arrives Mega coomer 08/31/22(Wed)03:44:23 No.884824127 >be me >mega coomer >in room >fapping >get to my orgasm >orgasm so f------ hard i cant see or move or think >turns out i had a seizure and an orgasm >mom walks in on my spazzing on the floor holding my d--- >takes picture?? >emts see me spazzing on floor >go to hospital >get mri >i have brain tumor >not cancer >they can remove it >after surgery i check social media >see post about me >they belittle me and the p--- i was watching >"Big Busty Milf tells you how loved you are after intense and sensual f------" >mom goes on facebook tells same story, word for f------ word what do now anons they know im a coomer

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