Greentext Stories - Images

Sorted By:

OP is a trickster | /r/Greentext

File: 1338235960652.jpg-(17 KB, 192x240, carlton.jpg) O Anonymous (ID: VYUHH+Dp) 05/28/12(Mon)16:12:40 No.402578671 1)Piss on plate 2)Put in freezer 3)Wait till late at night when it has frozen 4)Take piss disc off plate 5)Slide under someones door 6)Vitcim will wake up to a mysterious puddle of piss on their floor >> Anonymous (ID: UURYWYM2) 05/28/12(Mon)16:13:27 No.402578797 bamp Anonymous (ID: DGDKXW25) 05/28/12(Mon)16:13:29 No.402578807 thats genius Anonymous (ID: j6cj5KeA) 05/28/12(Mon)16:14:03 No.402578925 im impressed Anonymous (ID: Lwu2rZsT) 05/28/12(Mon)16:14:19 No.402578978 1) Piss under door Anonymous (ID: tq7tbPax) 05/28/12(Mon)16:14:26 No.402579012 that sir, is gold. Anonymous (ID: MPPZMIMN) 05/28/12(Mon)16:15:21 No.402579195 waiting for someone to actually try this.
File: 1338235960652.jpg-(17 KB, 192x240, carlton.jpg) O Anonymous (ID: VYUHH+Dp) 05/28/12(Mon)16:12:40 No.402578671 1)Piss on plate 2)Put in freezer 3)Wait till late at night when it has frozen 4)Take piss disc off plate 5)Slide under someones door 6)Vitcim will wake up to a mysterious puddle of piss on their floor >> Anonymous (ID: UURYWYM2) 05/28/12(Mon)16:13:27 No.402578797 bamp Anonymous (ID: DGDKXW25) 05/28/12(Mon)16:13:29 No.402578807 thats genius Anonymous (ID: j6cj5KeA) 05/28/12(Mon)16:14:03 No.402578925 im impressed Anonymous (ID: Lwu2rZsT) 05/28/12(Mon)16:14:19 No.402578978 1) Piss under door Anonymous (ID: tq7tbPax) 05/28/12(Mon)16:14:26 No.402579012 that sir, is gold. Anonymous (ID: MPPZMIMN) 05/28/12(Mon)16:15:21 No.402579195 waiting for someone to actually try this.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext smile collar tie font

High functioning autism | /r/Greentext

Just got a job >20 year old autist >working drive through at mcdonalds >"I'll have 2 chicken sandwiches 1 with no tomato" >"which one do you not want tomato on?" >some brief silence and a muffled sound >"either one, man" >messed up their change ttoo
Just got a job >20 year old autist >working drive through at mcdonalds >"I'll have 2 chicken sandwiches 1 with no tomato" >"which one do you not want tomato on?" >some brief silence and a muffled sound >"either one, man" >messed up their change ttoo

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext terrestrial plant

So wholesome | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/07/19(Sun)20:35:17 No.804061306 >be me >look at contacts >text the most recent person >"hey wanna play minecraft?" >he replies "i'm your drug dealer >feel.jpg 441 KB PNG >"that's the closest i've had to a friend" >he says "damn bro..." >embarrassment.jpg >he says he will come over and what to bring >i tell him to bring an xbox controller >silence >more silence >worry.jpg >he replies an hour later >"i'm at your door brought some doritos and dew, what gamemode we playing?" >wipe the tears off my face >ffw first friend
: Anonymous 07/07/19(Sun)20:35:17 No.804061306 >be me >look at contacts >text the most recent person >"hey wanna play minecraft?" >he replies "i'm your drug dealer >feel.jpg 441 KB PNG >"that's the closest i've had to a friend" >he says "damn bro..." >embarrassment.jpg >he says he will come over and what to bring >i tell him to bring an xbox controller >silence >more silence >worry.jpg >he replies an hour later >"i'm at your door brought some doritos and dew, what gamemode we playing?" >wipe the tears off my face >ffw first friend

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext organism

Anon goes to the weed store | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/19/21(Fri)10:48:40 No.62398719 Old memory just struck me. >at weed store owned by old white grandma looking lady >lots of good quality strains for good prices >would amp up my gay qualities because it made the owner laugh and she'd make my 9 KB JPG bags a lil bit heavier >one night old lady goes to the back of the store for some reason, calls her husband out to finish my order >quite, old, hulking, native american man shuffles out >ask for 2 grams of an indica, he puts a hefty 8g nug in my bag, then takes my payment. >Tells me "Thank you for making her laugh." as I leave. It was shut down by the police about 6 weeks later. Good times.
: Anonymous 02/19/21(Fri)10:48:40 No.62398719 Old memory just struck me. >at weed store owned by old white grandma looking lady >lots of good quality strains for good prices >would amp up my gay qualities because it made the owner laugh and she'd make my 9 KB JPG bags a lil bit heavier >one night old lady goes to the back of the store for some reason, calls her husband out to finish my order >quite, old, hulking, native american man shuffles out >ask for 2 grams of an indica, he puts a hefty 8g nug in my bag, then takes my payment. >Tells me "Thank you for making her laugh." as I leave. It was shut down by the police about 6 weeks later. Good times.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Bring your kids to work day | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Went to a job fair with sperm (...) 05/10/22(Tue)07:32:51 No.68568613 >be me >j------- on my t-shirt >too lazy to instantly take it off and put it in the loundry >find an interesting thread and forget about c-- stain >10am alarm rings and I head off for a job fair 193 KВ PNG >still c-- stain on, but it looks like water stain >get asked about it at job fair >panic because i forgot about it but manage to respond >say it's spillage from ice tea >"ok, haha" >get hired on the spot for some s----- call center nearby >mfw I got a job with a c-- stain >dressing etiquette is overrated : ruby !PeaNOQCbbqY 05/10/22(Tue)07:36:33 No.68568635 >>68568613 (OP) # wow this guy didnt even stutter about explaining his c-- t shirt he will be perfect for spamming boomers all day 345 КВ ЈPG
: Anonymous Went to a job fair with sperm (...) 05/10/22(Tue)07:32:51 No.68568613 >be me >j------- on my t-shirt >too lazy to instantly take it off and put it in the loundry >find an interesting thread and forget about c-- stain >10am alarm rings and I head off for a job fair 193 KВ PNG >still c-- stain on, but it looks like water stain >get asked about it at job fair >panic because i forgot about it but manage to respond >say it's spillage from ice tea >"ok, haha" >get hired on the spot for some s----- call center nearby >mfw I got a job with a c-- stain >dressing etiquette is overrated : ruby !PeaNOQCbbqY 05/10/22(Tue)07:36:33 No.68568635 >>68568613 (OP) # wow this guy didnt even stutter about explaining his c-- t shirt he will be perfect for spamming boomers all day 345 КВ ЈPG

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext product font material property

Anon's tracking investment pays off | /r/Greentext

5m (9/20 9:39) - 863436421 2 Re 2 Img JPG 1MB (1080 × 2220) 1 Reply >superglue GPS tracker to bicycle >leave it unlocked infront of my apartment >wait for people to steal it >chase them in my car, get out and kick their ass >take their wallets >repeat I made $800 in a month doing this ...
5m (9/20 9:39) - 863436421 2 Re 2 Img JPG 1MB (1080 × 2220) 1 Reply >superglue GPS tracker to bicycle >leave it unlocked infront of my apartment >wait for people to steal it >chase them in my car, get out and kick their ass >take their wallets >repeat I made $800 in a month doing this ...

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font screenshot

my life be like | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/09/22(Mon)16:19:23 No.877820035 >Own a two-person bed >Sleep alone in it 112 KB JPG
: Anonymous 05/09/22(Mon)16:19:23 No.877820035 >Own a two-person bed >Sleep alone in it 112 KB JPG

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext smile jaw happy font

bonsai is based | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/31/19(Fri)00:48:52 No.801024299 Storytime /b/. >be me, depressed and homebody >smoke in my room almost constantly >decide to get a bonsai tree >looking up maintenance and care, completely overlooked my smoking 7 KB JPG habit >realize im killing this tree with my s----- choice to smoke, ignoring the irony of killing myself with my choice to smoke >started smoking outside >Started smoking less >Bonsy is looking great >i feel much better too >quit smoking Thanks bonsy. 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 05/31/19(Fri)00:48:52 No.801024299 Storytime /b/. >be me, depressed and homebody >smoke in my room almost constantly >decide to get a bonsai tree >looking up maintenance and care, completely overlooked my smoking 7 KB JPG habit >realize im killing this tree with my s----- choice to smoke, ignoring the irony of killing myself with my choice to smoke >started smoking outside >Started smoking less >Bonsy is looking great >i feel much better too >quit smoking Thanks bonsy. 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font terrestrial plant

anon loves cereal | /r/Greentext

>Be hungry asf >lts 4 am >Lazy and don't wanna cook >Make bowl of cereal in 10 seconds >DeliciousSugaryGoodness.jpg >lt even gives me a nice drink 17 KB PNG afterwards >Fall asleep faster cause of the milk I love cereal Anons
>Be hungry asf >lts 4 am >Lazy and don't wanna cook >Make bowl of cereal in 10 seconds >DeliciousSugaryGoodness.jpg >lt even gives me a nice drink 17 KB PNG afterwards >Fall asleep faster cause of the milk I love cereal Anons

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext organism happy

Anon has made it | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Inflection point: Should I bec(...) 07/05/21(Mon)22:05:02 No.64455881 >27 yo >khvirgin >Meet a cute 31 year old single mom >She has a 7 year old boy >Starts showing interest in me >Thinks I'm cool, flirts, eventually asks 183 KB JPG me out. >The date was awesome, I was nervous and she thought it was cute. >Drops her at her place, the nanny is just leaving >"Hey anon, my kid is already sleeping, don't you want to come in?" >holyshititshappening.jpg >Small talk on the couch, she jumps on top of me and starts making out with me. >Sex.jpg >l never felt so happy in my life >Been together for two months >Her kid is a cool guy, loves dinosaurs >We go to the museum, see some fossils I buy him ice cream and a toy triceratops. >"uncle anon, this is the best day ever" For the first time in my life, I feel a fraction of what a being a father is like. I feel purpose and drive, my job doesn't seem pointless anymore. I look forward to meeting them and doing family stuff together. Am I making a huge mistake? I think I'm gonna marry this woman and adopt the little guy.
: Anonymous Inflection point: Should I bec(...) 07/05/21(Mon)22:05:02 No.64455881 >27 yo >khvirgin >Meet a cute 31 year old single mom >She has a 7 year old boy >Starts showing interest in me >Thinks I'm cool, flirts, eventually asks 183 KB JPG me out. >The date was awesome, I was nervous and she thought it was cute. >Drops her at her place, the nanny is just leaving >"Hey anon, my kid is already sleeping, don't you want to come in?" >holyshititshappening.jpg >Small talk on the couch, she jumps on top of me and starts making out with me. >Sex.jpg >l never felt so happy in my life >Been together for two months >Her kid is a cool guy, loves dinosaurs >We go to the museum, see some fossils I buy him ice cream and a toy triceratops. >"uncle anon, this is the best day ever" For the first time in my life, I feel a fraction of what a being a father is like. I feel purpose and drive, my job doesn't seem pointless anymore. I look forward to meeting them and doing family stuff together. Am I making a huge mistake? I think I'm gonna marry this woman and adopt the little guy.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon uses Tinder | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/11/22(Wed)03:30:13 No.877885925 >recently single after very long relationship >only ever had sex with her >match with cute girl on Tinder >go over to apartment and go for a walk in the rain >she brings me upstairs >we watch a movie and flirt a little but 107 KB JPG im nervous and she was a little awkward >she turns off the lights and randomly says "time for bed" >we start to make out >get naked >she's a literal 10/10 perfect body >l am fingering her and eating her out >go to get condom and boner goes down >oh f--- >won't get hard >so nervous and uncomfortable my little buddy refuses to cooperate >just finger her and play with her n------ >think she came but who knows >we lay together and she can tell im bothered >asks me what's the matter and explains that she literally doesn't care she had a great time >kisses me and we hold eachother tight >tells me about her ex >total f------ scumbag >tell her l've been having a rough time since my breakup too >she says "I could get used to this" >talk until around 2AM >cuddle all night but I can't really sleep >by morning I'm completely in love >go to take train home and kiss her goodbye >she unmatches me an hour later
: Anonymous 05/11/22(Wed)03:30:13 No.877885925 >recently single after very long relationship >only ever had sex with her >match with cute girl on Tinder >go over to apartment and go for a walk in the rain >she brings me upstairs >we watch a movie and flirt a little but 107 KB JPG im nervous and she was a little awkward >she turns off the lights and randomly says "time for bed" >we start to make out >get naked >she's a literal 10/10 perfect body >l am fingering her and eating her out >go to get condom and boner goes down >oh f--- >won't get hard >so nervous and uncomfortable my little buddy refuses to cooperate >just finger her and play with her n------ >think she came but who knows >we lay together and she can tell im bothered >asks me what's the matter and explains that she literally doesn't care she had a great time >kisses me and we hold eachother tight >tells me about her ex >total f------ scumbag >tell her l've been having a rough time since my breakup too >she says "I could get used to this" >talk until around 2AM >cuddle all night but I can't really sleep >by morning I'm completely in love >go to take train home and kiss her goodbye >she unmatches me an hour later

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon plays WoW | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/26/18(Mon)19:35:16 No.785900431 >be me, playing WoW >play on asian servers because NA servers are too easy >2 Chinese players bully me >type "June 4th 1989, Tian an Men Square Massacre" 22 KB JPG >Both disconnect >mfw I just sent two inncoent children to a Chinese Labor Camp and got their whole family executed
: Anonymous 11/26/18(Mon)19:35:16 No.785900431 >be me, playing WoW >play on asian servers because NA servers are too easy >2 Chinese players bully me >type "June 4th 1989, Tian an Men Square Massacre" 22 KB JPG >Both disconnect >mfw I just sent two inncoent children to a Chinese Labor Camp and got their whole family executed

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext organism font terrestrial plant

anon lives in gay fear | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/09/22(Mon)23:25:33 No.66700352 ► >66700373 >be me, skinnyfat and gay, somewhat dominant with low standards >find dude, fat and gay, submissive as hell with low standards >we're both ugly but compatible to f--- and personalities go together well enough >he decides it's time to get into shape >l'm more fit than he is but join in because that's objectively just a good idea >jog circles around him for the first few weeks, trying my best not to discourage him >it starts to work, he's losing weight and keeping up with me >slowly start to realise l'm starting to be the one having a hard time keeping up with him >he stops losing weight, starting to build up muscle mass >realise that l'm the one that's still losing weight >mfw I realise he's inhaling the same amount of calories as before but in protein >l physically cannot f------ keep up with him hoovering nutrients like a f------ black hole >try my best to keep up on the workouts, to0 proud to give up now or admit defeat >keep losing weight and making no progress >mfw he has been lifting weights heavier than me for two months now >mfw too proud to say anything but now I live in fear >he is going to f------ pick me up and put me on the top of the fridge
Anonymous 05/09/22(Mon)23:25:33 No.66700352 ► >66700373 >be me, skinnyfat and gay, somewhat dominant with low standards >find dude, fat and gay, submissive as hell with low standards >we're both ugly but compatible to f--- and personalities go together well enough >he decides it's time to get into shape >l'm more fit than he is but join in because that's objectively just a good idea >jog circles around him for the first few weeks, trying my best not to discourage him >it starts to work, he's losing weight and keeping up with me >slowly start to realise l'm starting to be the one having a hard time keeping up with him >he stops losing weight, starting to build up muscle mass >realise that l'm the one that's still losing weight >mfw I realise he's inhaling the same amount of calories as before but in protein >l physically cannot f------ keep up with him hoovering nutrients like a f------ black hole >try my best to keep up on the workouts, to0 proud to give up now or admit defeat >keep losing weight and making no progress >mfw he has been lifting weights heavier than me for two months now >mfw too proud to say anything but now I live in fear >he is going to f------ pick me up and put me on the top of the fridge

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon was born poor | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/10/22(Tue)08:27:10 No.68566849 >was born poor >parents didn't really care about me or give me anything >never got an inheritance, car, vacations, anything >never really had a comfortable place to live 51 KB PNG >house was cold, ceilings leaked, didn't have food >tried over and over again to do everything to succeed >just have life s--- on me and nothing works >see zoomers all over the internet >16 year old chads/stacies that make millions on youtube >hot teen girls becoming millionaires doing stupid dances on tik tok >retarded women making 7 figures off onlyfans >dumb spoiled teenagers becoming rappers and celebrities and s--- being set for life >seeing all these attractive normie teenagers making more than doctors living in mansions together >seeing all these autists that got rich playing video games on twitch >these people were already born in nice houses, with loving families, and a perfect life and still get everything
: Anonymous 05/10/22(Tue)08:27:10 No.68566849 >was born poor >parents didn't really care about me or give me anything >never got an inheritance, car, vacations, anything >never really had a comfortable place to live 51 KB PNG >house was cold, ceilings leaked, didn't have food >tried over and over again to do everything to succeed >just have life s--- on me and nothing works >see zoomers all over the internet >16 year old chads/stacies that make millions on youtube >hot teen girls becoming millionaires doing stupid dances on tik tok >retarded women making 7 figures off onlyfans >dumb spoiled teenagers becoming rappers and celebrities and s--- being set for life >seeing all these attractive normie teenagers making more than doctors living in mansions together >seeing all these autists that got rich playing video games on twitch >these people were already born in nice houses, with loving families, and a perfect life and still get everything

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

clean asian ass | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/25/20(Thu)02:43:08 No.830753606 Anyone else notice that white girls are kind of gross and used up even if they're virgins? Don't get me wrong. I think white women have better looking faces, but there's something about white women that just seems like they can never be 1.29 MB PNG clean. I just noticed the last couple months when I think of an Asian girl's ass it makes me think it's freshly packed from a factory. Straight out of a plastic bag and never been touched. Absolutely sterile. Even if it was dirty it would be cleaned easily. When I think of white girls it feels like they could never be clean. Like even if they took a shower they ass would be gross. Like their meat rots easier. Something wrong with their skin like they just create more bacteria. Anyone else notice this? : Anonymous 06/25/20(Thu)02:44:12 No.830753653 your delusional and mentally ilI. >>830753936 #
: Anonymous 06/25/20(Thu)02:43:08 No.830753606 Anyone else notice that white girls are kind of gross and used up even if they're virgins? Don't get me wrong. I think white women have better looking faces, but there's something about white women that just seems like they can never be 1.29 MB PNG clean. I just noticed the last couple months when I think of an Asian girl's ass it makes me think it's freshly packed from a factory. Straight out of a plastic bag and never been touched. Absolutely sterile. Even if it was dirty it would be cleaned easily. When I think of white girls it feels like they could never be clean. Like even if they took a shower they ass would be gross. Like their meat rots easier. Something wrong with their skin like they just create more bacteria. Anyone else notice this? : Anonymous 06/25/20(Thu)02:44:12 No.830753653 your delusional and mentally ilI. >>830753936 #

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font material property

Anon feels appreciated | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/10/22(Tue)09:00:38 No.68569308 Appreciation time. >be me >nervous driver >hate highways, always take back roads 146 KB JPG >driving at dusk, see car pulled to side of road >slow down to be careful >there are skid marks behind the car, looks to have hit a mailbox >car is empty, no one around >continue driving >see blond woman walking down road >slow down again to be careful >she notices me and stops walking >very pretty, looks my age >she gives me a thumbs up >feelsgoodman.exe >continue driving and make it home safe It's nice being appreciated. Here's a thumbs up to all of you.
: Anonymous 05/10/22(Tue)09:00:38 No.68569308 Appreciation time. >be me >nervous driver >hate highways, always take back roads 146 KB JPG >driving at dusk, see car pulled to side of road >slow down to be careful >there are skid marks behind the car, looks to have hit a mailbox >car is empty, no one around >continue driving >see blond woman walking down road >slow down again to be careful >she notices me and stops walking >very pretty, looks my age >she gives me a thumbs up >feelsgoodman.exe >continue driving and make it home safe It's nice being appreciated. Here's a thumbs up to all of you.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font