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Anon is insane | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11 KB JPG honestly 04/29/22 (Fri)07:29:39 No.877169282 >be 12 year old me >whole school watching some pedestrian safety video >it starts showing a dummy getting hit by a car at different speeds in slow motion >i start laughing and can't stop >literally the only guy laughing Am I a maniac or something? It was pretty funny,
Anonymous 11 KB JPG honestly 04/29/22 (Fri)07:29:39 No.877169282 >be 12 year old me >whole school watching some pedestrian safety video >it starts showing a dummy getting hit by a car at different speeds in slow motion >i start laughing and can't stop >literally the only guy laughing Am I a maniac or something? It was pretty funny,

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anon likes a song | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 7 hours ago 6 REPLIES 110205595 >My favorite Nirvana song? Something In The Way >It was in The Batman and that s--- slaps
Anonymous 7 hours ago 6 REPLIES 110205595 >My favorite Nirvana song? Something In The Way >It was in The Batman and that s--- slaps

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Anon has a emotional rollercoaster | /r/Greentext

File: 1352501900004.jpg-(130 KB, 650x813, sads.jpg) Anonymous (ID: Z/jgpDx3) 11/09/12(Fri)17:58:20 No.435969427 Replies: >>435971345 >>435971635 >>435971949 >>435972123 >>435972254 >>435972291 >>435972559 >>435972704 >>435973158 >>435973159 >>435973326 >>435973549 >>435973950 >>435974179 >>435974538 >>435974676 >>435975137 >>435975236 >>435975307 >>435975408 >>435975448 >>435975862 >>435975875 >>435975909 >>435975973 >gf is prego >we like to get kinky anyways >one night things get particularly saucy >I'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird f------ chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights >w-- it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period >i look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering >ohshitohshitohshitohshit >i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital >she's still bleeding everywhere >by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much more, but all color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent >oh s---, she looks like she's in a vegetative state >storm into to the emergency room, carry her to the nearest doctor and explain everything >he takes one look at her and says >"sir, I'm sorry, there's nothing we can do" >"WHY THE F--- NOT???" >"we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce" >mfw
File: 1352501900004.jpg-(130 KB, 650x813, sads.jpg) Anonymous (ID: Z/jgpDx3) 11/09/12(Fri)17:58:20 No.435969427 Replies: >>435971345 >>435971635 >>435971949 >>435972123 >>435972254 >>435972291 >>435972559 >>435972704 >>435973158 >>435973159 >>435973326 >>435973549 >>435973950 >>435974179 >>435974538 >>435974676 >>435975137 >>435975236 >>435975307 >>435975408 >>435975448 >>435975862 >>435975875 >>435975909 >>435975973 >gf is prego >we like to get kinky anyways >one night things get particularly saucy >I'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird f------ chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights >w-- it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period >i look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering >ohshitohshitohshitohshit >i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital >she's still bleeding everywhere >by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much more, but all color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent >oh s---, she looks like she's in a vegetative state >storm into to the emergency room, carry her to the nearest doctor and explain everything >he takes one look at her and says >"sir, I'm sorry, there's nothing we can do" >"WHY THE F--- NOT???" >"we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce" >mfw

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Anon wants to marry | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 19 KB JPG >cya later virgins I got fired but whatever 12/08/19(Sun)20:38:16 No.55714250 >be working cashier in retail >ringing up hot latina chick with the perfect ass >ask her if she needs a bag >quickly add in do you wanna marry me before she can reply >she says I do
: Anonymous 19 KB JPG >cya later virgins I got fired but whatever 12/08/19(Sun)20:38:16 No.55714250 >be working cashier in retail >ringing up hot latina chick with the perfect ass >ask her if she needs a bag >quickly add in do you wanna marry me before she can reply >she says I do

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Anon took drugs | /r/Greentext

03/15/21 (Mon)07:54:08 No.62759582 : Anonymous >friend sells me some adderall >take pill >feel f------ euphoric, literally nothing can stop me >zero social anxiety, i could tell my whole life story to a random person if 213 KB JPG i wanted to >compulsive behaviors almost disappear entirely for the first time in over 2 years >don't feel worried anymore, start realizing that all my problems are just temporary and i can fix them easily >actually want to live my life, go out and have fun >don't feel empty anymore, always thinking positive and for the future >drug starts to wear off after a few hours >go back to my normal suicidal self H--------, is this what life as a normie is actually like? Those first few minutes I felt like I was in paradise. Now I just know how much I was robbed of a happy existence.
03/15/21 (Mon)07:54:08 No.62759582 : Anonymous >friend sells me some adderall >take pill >feel f------ euphoric, literally nothing can stop me >zero social anxiety, i could tell my whole life story to a random person if 213 KB JPG i wanted to >compulsive behaviors almost disappear entirely for the first time in over 2 years >don't feel worried anymore, start realizing that all my problems are just temporary and i can fix them easily >actually want to live my life, go out and have fun >don't feel empty anymore, always thinking positive and for the future >drug starts to wear off after a few hours >go back to my normal suicidal self H--------, is this what life as a normie is actually like? Those first few minutes I felt like I was in paradise. Now I just know how much I was robbed of a happy existence.

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Anon speaks Polish | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 62 KB JPG 05/03/21 (Mon)17:24:58 No.14 >Fall asleep on my keyboard >Poles in the thread agree with me
Anonymous 62 KB JPG 05/03/21 (Mon)17:24:58 No.14 >Fall asleep on my keyboard >Poles in the thread agree with me

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Anon is maliciously compliant. | /r/Greentext

I have a bot running 24/7 buying and selling for 0 target profit just to waste IRS manpower and money. I print and send the IRS all the documentation about my trades in paper form to stop them from automatizing the process with a computer program. 1.51 MB GIF I mix blank pages, double print, ghost print or mark/write in them just in case they have a way to scan and use some sort of recognition software. That way they have to look at thousands upon thousands of pages one by one and look and random scribblings and drawn d---- while doing their job. It's a whole pallet of papers with trades so I hire a guy to forklift that s--- and send it just in the offchance that having to deal with a pallet is troublesome for them. All the documents are numbered but I pack everything ***"*completely out of order"*" (as in the lower numbers always happen to be at the bottom of the pallet) in case the order of the trades is important. If order is important they now have to deal lift boxes and have them laying around before they can even start checking the numbers. My normal trades are also in those pages so they can't just ignore everything. This costs me thousands of dollars every year. I make sure to send the invoices of how much all the processes cost me on top of the pallet so that whoever is in charge of it knows I'm wasting the equivalent of two months of his waging in asinine s--- on top of his or her time.
I have a bot running 24/7 buying and selling for 0 target profit just to waste IRS manpower and money. I print and send the IRS all the documentation about my trades in paper form to stop them from automatizing the process with a computer program. 1.51 MB GIF I mix blank pages, double print, ghost print or mark/write in them just in case they have a way to scan and use some sort of recognition software. That way they have to look at thousands upon thousands of pages one by one and look and random scribblings and drawn d---- while doing their job. It's a whole pallet of papers with trades so I hire a guy to forklift that s--- and send it just in the offchance that having to deal with a pallet is troublesome for them. All the documents are numbered but I pack everything ***"*completely out of order"*" (as in the lower numbers always happen to be at the bottom of the pallet) in case the order of the trades is important. If order is important they now have to deal lift boxes and have them laying around before they can even start checking the numbers. My normal trades are also in those pages so they can't just ignore everything. This costs me thousands of dollars every year. I make sure to send the invoices of how much all the processes cost me on top of the pallet so that whoever is in charge of it knows I'm wasting the equivalent of two months of his waging in asinine s--- on top of his or her time.

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Anon loves kebab | /r/Greentext

04/29/22(Fri)17:32:59 No.877174970 : Anonymous >i go almost daily to buy kebab from the same place (close both to my house and my work place) >There is this underpaid and overworked arab guy that makes the kebab 145 KB JPG >I always tip 50% >He always packs my kebab with more meat than usual >He also knows how i like it, big and spicy with all the sauces and a diet pepsi >He gets verry happy when he sees me and he calls me ,,boss,, and ,,brother,, >Today i was sad af but the,,hello boss, the usual?" Made me feel better >Kebab heals people
04/29/22(Fri)17:32:59 No.877174970 : Anonymous >i go almost daily to buy kebab from the same place (close both to my house and my work place) >There is this underpaid and overworked arab guy that makes the kebab 145 KB JPG >I always tip 50% >He always packs my kebab with more meat than usual >He also knows how i like it, big and spicy with all the sauces and a diet pepsi >He gets verry happy when he sees me and he calls me ,,boss,, and ,,brother,, >Today i was sad af but the,,hello boss, the usual?" Made me feel better >Kebab heals people

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Anon has finally made it. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 52353826 leri >have cute cardiobunny neighbour >she asks me if we can go running together >women running outside have been r---- and killed in our city, so she wants to take me with her for protection 1,5 MB JPG >we have been doing this once a week for a year, getting take out food afterwards Have I made it, /fit/? 34 REPLIES 63 IMAGES REPLY Anonymous | 52353835 why haven't you r---- and killed her yet? 21 REPLIES leri ...
Anonymous | 52353826 leri >have cute cardiobunny neighbour >she asks me if we can go running together >women running outside have been r---- and killed in our city, so she wants to take me with her for protection 1,5 MB JPG >we have been doing this once a week for a year, getting take out food afterwards Have I made it, /fit/? 34 REPLIES 63 IMAGES REPLY Anonymous | 52353835 why haven't you r---- and killed her yet? 21 REPLIES leri ...

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Anon has doubts about christianity | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 31 KB JPG 03/09/21 (Tue)19:28:06 No.27883609 >Gave birth to himself to kill himself as a sacrifice himself in order to appease himself so that he would no longer have to throw us into a fiery pit for all eternity because he made us in a way that was not up to his own very high standard View Thread Thanks? 94 Replies / 6 Images
Anonymous 31 KB JPG 03/09/21 (Tue)19:28:06 No.27883609 >Gave birth to himself to kill himself as a sacrifice himself in order to appease himself so that he would no longer have to throw us into a fiery pit for all eternity because he made us in a way that was not up to his own very high standard View Thread Thanks? 94 Replies / 6 Images

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Anons mom is an ikea shopper | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/03/22(Thu)23:55:01 No.160746508 >>160746560 >>160746574>>160746585 >>160746626 >>160746665 >>160746690 >>160746973 >>160747151 >>160747157 >>160747180 >>160747191 >>160747409 >>160747834>>160748133 >>160748146 >>160748160 >Mom is sad because IKEA is closing down in our city. She loved to shop there. Why is the west doing this to us?
Anonymous 03/03/22(Thu)23:55:01 No.160746508 >>160746560 >>160746574>>160746585 >>160746626 >>160746665 >>160746690 >>160746973 >>160747151 >>160747157 >>160747180 >>160747191 >>160747409 >>160747834>>160748133 >>160748146 >>160748160 >Mom is sad because IKEA is closing down in our city. She loved to shop there. Why is the west doing this to us?

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Anon and The cure for Hangover | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 807887615 750.8 kB PNG 5 REPLIES 2 IMAGES Anonymous 807887653 VapoRut 21 mins ago ... How the f--- do I get rid of a hangover quickly, /b/, hopefully something I can pick up at a Walgreens or Walmart or whatever. If said hangover doesn't vanish, how do I start and finish a ten page paper with a hangover 19 mins ago. >>807887615 (OP) Rub vapo-rub on your a------, I know it sounds weird but it works like 90% of the time. 46.1 kB JPG REPLY
Anonymous | 807887615 750.8 kB PNG 5 REPLIES 2 IMAGES Anonymous 807887653 VapoRut 21 mins ago ... How the f--- do I get rid of a hangover quickly, /b/, hopefully something I can pick up at a Walgreens or Walmart or whatever. If said hangover doesn't vanish, how do I start and finish a ten page paper with a hangover 19 mins ago. >>807887615 (OP) Rub vapo-rub on your a------, I know it sounds weird but it works like 90% of the time. 46.1 kB JPG REPLY

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Anon is a remote wagie | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: +y5Hrkot) 6 KB PNG 04/27/22(Wed)22:39:12 No.48295738 >typed 's------ domination' into a microsoft teams chat
: Anonymous (ID: +y5Hrkot) 6 KB PNG 04/27/22(Wed)22:39:12 No.48295738 >typed 's------ domination' into a microsoft teams chat

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Anon makes a recovery | /r/Greentext

01/06/19(Sun)20:52:24 No.789321110 Anonymous >be me, 23yo, shy c--- >spent three years in a toxic relationship being constantly emotionally abused 11 KB JPG >ex dumped me for some swaggot couple years back because he was a f------- and got bored of me >apparently ended poorly (who would've thought?) >texted me some time back that she missed me and how I always treated her well and pampered her and how she's sorry fuckthatnoise.mp3 >left her on read and moved on, still feeling a bunch of inner turmoil >ran into her at local market today >she came up to me (even though I did my best to avoid her) >tries initiating conversation >something inside me gets ignited >"I'm sorry, do I know you?" >she's confused and goes "are you f------ kidding, it's me, xxxxxx" >"Ooh, s---, I didn't recognize you! THAT'S what you look like now? Talk about dodging a f------ bullet." >I walk off without saying anything else to her >saw her walking out bawling her eyes out >I feel closure and empowerment, anons >I think I'm ready for the dating scene again
01/06/19(Sun)20:52:24 No.789321110 Anonymous >be me, 23yo, shy c--- >spent three years in a toxic relationship being constantly emotionally abused 11 KB JPG >ex dumped me for some swaggot couple years back because he was a f------- and got bored of me >apparently ended poorly (who would've thought?) >texted me some time back that she missed me and how I always treated her well and pampered her and how she's sorry fuckthatnoise.mp3 >left her on read and moved on, still feeling a bunch of inner turmoil >ran into her at local market today >she came up to me (even though I did my best to avoid her) >tries initiating conversation >something inside me gets ignited >"I'm sorry, do I know you?" >she's confused and goes "are you f------ kidding, it's me, xxxxxx" >"Ooh, s---, I didn't recognize you! THAT'S what you look like now? Talk about dodging a f------ bullet." >I walk off without saying anything else to her >saw her walking out bawling her eyes out >I feel closure and empowerment, anons >I think I'm ready for the dating scene again

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Anon gets revenge. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Girl who used to ghost me is m(...) 04/29/22(Fri)03:40:57 No.68418410 >be me >chilling >she comes into my life >we hit it off pretty soon >go on a few dates, other than her being on her phone most of the time, we had a good time 1017 KB PNG >she starts ghosting me occasionally out of nowhere for almost 3 months, and her ghosting gets pretty serious at the end. >she apparently doesn't have any excuse >I stopped asking her why after few weeks, I didn't care when she replied to me >once it took her 2 weeks to reply to me...2 weeks, meanwhile she continued to post stories on insta >try to explain her that if this goes on, im out >she reassured me it won't happen again and other bs she used to feed me at that time >she lied >I got over it, stopped talking to her right then and there >it's been 5 months since I last texted her, meanwhile she texted me 11 times >Initially she thought I was joking and told me stop goofing around, but I left her on read every single time >what goes around comes around.
Anonymous Girl who used to ghost me is m(...) 04/29/22(Fri)03:40:57 No.68418410 >be me >chilling >she comes into my life >we hit it off pretty soon >go on a few dates, other than her being on her phone most of the time, we had a good time 1017 KB PNG >she starts ghosting me occasionally out of nowhere for almost 3 months, and her ghosting gets pretty serious at the end. >she apparently doesn't have any excuse >I stopped asking her why after few weeks, I didn't care when she replied to me >once it took her 2 weeks to reply to me...2 weeks, meanwhile she continued to post stories on insta >try to explain her that if this goes on, im out >she reassured me it won't happen again and other bs she used to feed me at that time >she lied >I got over it, stopped talking to her right then and there >it's been 5 months since I last texted her, meanwhile she texted me 11 times >Initially she thought I was joking and told me stop goofing around, but I left her on read every single time >what goes around comes around.

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Anon conquers the neighbourhood | /r/Greentext

04/28/22(Thu)06:06:44 No.68405968 >be me >live at my home >live in upper-middle class area and everyone in my area is some haughty yuppie c--- with some b------- job in marketing >do things like pilaties and own gay dogs like french bulldogs, etc 143 KB JPG >take garbage to the side of my street >assholes fill it with their dog's s--- >some don't even bag it >f------ gross >i even have a sign out front saying don't do this but they do it anyway >start buying bricks, around 1000 bricks actually >leave ample supply in my room and keep a few on my window frame. rest are in my shed >garbage cans are out >a------ comes along and puts dog s--- in garbage >tell him to f--- off, he flips me off >gave him fair warning, throw brick at him >hits him in the leg >looks like that hurt >ready to throw second but he limps off in pain >success >another comes along >throw brick, hits him in the head >goes down hard, dog runs off in fear >police get called and show up >no one knows what happened, cops just say he was mugged by n------ or something >continue this for a few weeks, several scalps claimed etc etc >notice a decline in yuppies walking dogs on my street >furthermore people avoid me in the neighbourhood, cross the street as i approach >several rumours about me spread >mfw i have conquered an entire neighbourhood of yuppies by assaulting them with bricks >to this day none have even attempted to challenge my claim to power Anonymous
04/28/22(Thu)06:06:44 No.68405968 >be me >live at my home >live in upper-middle class area and everyone in my area is some haughty yuppie c--- with some b------- job in marketing >do things like pilaties and own gay dogs like french bulldogs, etc 143 KB JPG >take garbage to the side of my street >assholes fill it with their dog's s--- >some don't even bag it >f------ gross >i even have a sign out front saying don't do this but they do it anyway >start buying bricks, around 1000 bricks actually >leave ample supply in my room and keep a few on my window frame. rest are in my shed >garbage cans are out >a------ comes along and puts dog s--- in garbage >tell him to f--- off, he flips me off >gave him fair warning, throw brick at him >hits him in the leg >looks like that hurt >ready to throw second but he limps off in pain >success >another comes along >throw brick, hits him in the head >goes down hard, dog runs off in fear >police get called and show up >no one knows what happened, cops just say he was mugged by n------ or something >continue this for a few weeks, several scalps claimed etc etc >notice a decline in yuppies walking dogs on my street >furthermore people avoid me in the neighbourhood, cross the street as i approach >several rumours about me spread >mfw i have conquered an entire neighbourhood of yuppies by assaulting them with bricks >to this day none have even attempted to challenge my claim to power Anonymous

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Femanon can't get a boyfriend | /r/Greentext

04/28/22(Thu)09:24:26 No.877111217 HOLDING HANDS... ...PRINCESS CARRY... ...KISS MY CHEEK... ...KISS MY FOREHEAD... I HAD ...SAY YOU LOVE ME... ...WAH NOTHING NEXT, TO HI BUT LEWD ..WHISPER IN MY EAR. THINGS ON MY MIND. ...SLEEPING IN THE SAME ROOM.. ...TALKING ABOUT FEELINGS... ...HUG ME TIGHTLY... Inst ....CALL ME CUTE... of..BRUSH MY HAIR ...TOUCH MY EARS..... PROPOSE TO ME. 36yv6xut5su31.jpg 130 KB JPG >Be me >Be virgin femcel >Try to get attention from a guy >He's physically and mentally under my league and 5 years older, but I'm desperate >Man's autistic but sweet, sometimes funny >I'm the one chasing after him >Says he loves me but 'he isn't prepared' >Try to get advice from boy friends >"Women have it easy but they're always going out with chads, surely you're looking in the wrong place" >Try to get advice form girl friends >"Literally not a single man will care about you, they're all just assholes. You should focus on your career for now" Since when has this weird gender love war been going on? I only want to cuddle with a man : Anonymous 04/28/22(Thu)09:26:20 No.877111283 >>877111217 (OP) # t--- or gtfo >>877111492 # : Anonymous hoft ...LIVING TOGETHER...
04/28/22(Thu)09:24:26 No.877111217 HOLDING HANDS... ...PRINCESS CARRY... ...KISS MY CHEEK... ...KISS MY FOREHEAD... I HAD ...SAY YOU LOVE ME... ...WAH NOTHING NEXT, TO HI BUT LEWD ..WHISPER IN MY EAR. THINGS ON MY MIND. ...SLEEPING IN THE SAME ROOM.. ...TALKING ABOUT FEELINGS... ...HUG ME TIGHTLY... Inst ....CALL ME CUTE... of..BRUSH MY HAIR ...TOUCH MY EARS..... PROPOSE TO ME. 36yv6xut5su31.jpg 130 KB JPG >Be me >Be virgin femcel >Try to get attention from a guy >He's physically and mentally under my league and 5 years older, but I'm desperate >Man's autistic but sweet, sometimes funny >I'm the one chasing after him >Says he loves me but 'he isn't prepared' >Try to get advice from boy friends >"Women have it easy but they're always going out with chads, surely you're looking in the wrong place" >Try to get advice form girl friends >"Literally not a single man will care about you, they're all just assholes. You should focus on your career for now" Since when has this weird gender love war been going on? I only want to cuddle with a man : Anonymous 04/28/22(Thu)09:26:20 No.877111283 >>877111217 (OP) # t--- or gtfo >>877111492 # : Anonymous hoft ...LIVING TOGETHER...

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Anon enters a portal | /r/Greentext

04/28/22(Thu)13:18:25 No.877122061 Anonymous >big box >walk into box >door closes >door reopens >exit >it's another floor 418 KB JPG WHAT THE F--- /b/ROS I'm so f------ scared
04/28/22(Thu)13:18:25 No.877122061 Anonymous >big box >walk into box >door closes >door reopens >exit >it's another floor 418 KB JPG WHAT THE F--- /b/ROS I'm so f------ scared

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Anon gets annoyed at reddit | /r/Greentext

Anonymous I F------ HATE REDDITFAGS 04/29/22 (Fri)07:30:41 No.68416881 > be me > make a 4chan thread > 8 people reply Next day 1.21 MB PNG > brother shows me something on reddit > its MY F------ THREAD POSTED ON R/GREENTEXT f------ redittfags piss me off so much this f----- got 30 THOUSAND UPVOTES man f--- this I'm gonna go kms to cope 3 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 04/29/22 (Fri)07:34:22 No.68416914 It's pretty much a given that any greentext with a large amount of replies in this board is gonna get plastered on Leddit. This place has been Reddit for a long time now, a f----- Redditor could be lying in wait to screencap your thread right now
Anonymous I F------ HATE REDDITFAGS 04/29/22 (Fri)07:30:41 No.68416881 > be me > make a 4chan thread > 8 people reply Next day 1.21 MB PNG > brother shows me something on reddit > its MY F------ THREAD POSTED ON R/GREENTEXT f------ redittfags piss me off so much this f----- got 30 THOUSAND UPVOTES man f--- this I'm gonna go kms to cope 3 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 04/29/22 (Fri)07:34:22 No.68416914 It's pretty much a given that any greentext with a large amount of replies in this board is gonna get plastered on Leddit. This place has been Reddit for a long time now, a f----- Redditor could be lying in wait to screencap your thread right now

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so i am not the only one who remebers random unimportant moments? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: Mz+F72xl) 04/23/14(Wed)02:24:34 No.543522159 >be 3 years old >standing in the living room next to leather sofa >for no apparent reason think to myself "i will remember this moment" >still do
Anonymous (ID: Mz+F72xl) 04/23/14(Wed)02:24:34 No.543522159 >be 3 years old >standing in the living room next to leather sofa >for no apparent reason think to myself "i will remember this moment" >still do

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