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Anon sleepwalks | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 13 KB JPG 11/02/22(Wed)21:26:23 No.888416026 /b/ros Please help me what the f--- do I do >be me >sleepwalker since birth >staying at new friends house overnight >go to sleep >dream I am pissing in toilet >wake up >p----- f------ all over the inside of their fridge >hundreds of dollars of food ruined >broke college student, cant pay for all of that and still eat this week Holy f------ s--- what do I do hes not awake yet I need help FAST
: Anonymous 13 KB JPG 11/02/22(Wed)21:26:23 No.888416026 /b/ros Please help me what the f--- do I do >be me >sleepwalker since birth >staying at new friends house overnight >go to sleep >dream I am pissing in toilet >wake up >p----- f------ all over the inside of their fridge >hundreds of dollars of food ruined >broke college student, cant pay for all of that and still eat this week Holy f------ s--- what do I do hes not awake yet I need help FAST

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Anon is selling goats | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Kiko goats 108 KB PNG 05/19/22(Thu)04:23:09 No.4175436 >sell a 5 month old goat for $300 >it costs $20/month to raise = $100 >profit = $300-$100 = $200. >only need to sell 500 kiko goats per year to make 6 figures WAGMI with kiko goats. : Anonymous >>4175436 (OP) # who tf is buying 05/19/22(Thu)04:39:00 No.4175451 >>4175464 # >>4175557 # >>4175635 #
: Anonymous Kiko goats 108 KB PNG 05/19/22(Thu)04:23:09 No.4175436 >sell a 5 month old goat for $300 >it costs $20/month to raise = $100 >profit = $300-$100 = $200. >only need to sell 500 kiko goats per year to make 6 figures WAGMI with kiko goats. : Anonymous >>4175436 (OP) # who tf is buying 05/19/22(Thu)04:39:00 No.4175451 >>4175464 # >>4175557 # >>4175635 #

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anon makes a tinder | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 100 KB PNG 11/02/22 (Wed)13:44:57 No.888382323 >make Tinder >live in b------ low-population area in red state (hence making a Tinder) >be not unattractive so expect to match with at least a few girls Instead, every girl on Tinder >looks at least 10 years older than she actually is >80+% are medically obese >has trashy gross upper thigh tattoos (is this a new trend?) >excessive tattoos in general >has those disgusting bull noserings (is this also some retarded new tik tok trend?) >vaccinated good goy seal of approval >bio says "I'm not here for sex, if you're a f------ swipe right" yet has multiple pictures in bikinis and lingerie showing off her (unattractive) body >single mothers with disgusting brown abominations >women who are clearly well into their 30s and 40s saying they are 21 and 22 I don't get a chance to go out a lot because there's nowhere to meet people in my area, but please tell me it's not like this in the entire country, and please tell me that Tinder only has low quality females and it's not truly THAT bad out there. Please reassure me because holy f---.
: Anonymous 100 KB PNG 11/02/22 (Wed)13:44:57 No.888382323 >make Tinder >live in b------ low-population area in red state (hence making a Tinder) >be not unattractive so expect to match with at least a few girls Instead, every girl on Tinder >looks at least 10 years older than she actually is >80+% are medically obese >has trashy gross upper thigh tattoos (is this a new trend?) >excessive tattoos in general >has those disgusting bull noserings (is this also some retarded new tik tok trend?) >vaccinated good goy seal of approval >bio says "I'm not here for sex, if you're a f------ swipe right" yet has multiple pictures in bikinis and lingerie showing off her (unattractive) body >single mothers with disgusting brown abominations >women who are clearly well into their 30s and 40s saying they are 21 and 22 I don't get a chance to go out a lot because there's nowhere to meet people in my area, but please tell me it's not like this in the entire country, and please tell me that Tinder only has low quality females and it's not truly THAT bad out there. Please reassure me because holy f---.

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Anon likes moles | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 13 KB JPG 12/11/18(Tue)14:22:11 No.20341809 >be me >sit in class >remember one time in kindergarten when a girl took s--- on a bench and got in problems for doing so >find that memory really f------ funny >burst out laughing >teacher gets p----- >asks what so funny >silence. Jpg >say that I thought about a mole >teacher looks at me like I'm retarded >mfw when I actually begin thinking about moles now >remember moles are blind and probably bump into each other all the time >begin laughing again >get detention
: Anonymous 13 KB JPG 12/11/18(Tue)14:22:11 No.20341809 >be me >sit in class >remember one time in kindergarten when a girl took s--- on a bench and got in problems for doing so >find that memory really f------ funny >burst out laughing >teacher gets p----- >asks what so funny >silence. Jpg >say that I thought about a mole >teacher looks at me like I'm retarded >mfw when I actually begin thinking about moles now >remember moles are blind and probably bump into each other all the time >begin laughing again >get detention

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Anon Understands Women | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 76 KB JPG 11/24/21(Wed)12:09:57 No.66284400 I have been thinking a lot about this and there really is no reason I should not have a girlfriend, and I genuinely think I am entitled to one >You're probably ugly and have bad hygiene!!! False. I shower on the daily and am quite attractive >You probably don't have a job or a stable income!!! Again false. I make $80,000 yearly, while many here make more this is more than enough to live comfortably and support a family. >You don't know how to talk to women!!! Once again false. I have studied women for quite some time and am quite familiar with their thought patterns and mannerisms >Women don't owe you anything!!! Yep you guessed it, False. As a well functioning, contributing member of society it is of the nation's best interest I obtain a wife and breed by high IQ genes for the next generation. I understand women are largely impulsive and still rely on their evolutionary desires in picking a mate (remember I have studied them for quite a while now. These urges however lead them to low IQ thugs who are incapable of even sticking around for the child and thus leads to a single mother epidemic we have now, proving that women cannot be trusted in picking a suitable mate for themselves. We've let women have their freedom for years now and we are seeing the effects of it in a decaying society, the government must step in and regulate marriages and I am a prime example of someone who deserves a wife. Curious to know what you guys think?
: Anonymous 76 KB JPG 11/24/21(Wed)12:09:57 No.66284400 I have been thinking a lot about this and there really is no reason I should not have a girlfriend, and I genuinely think I am entitled to one >You're probably ugly and have bad hygiene!!! False. I shower on the daily and am quite attractive >You probably don't have a job or a stable income!!! Again false. I make $80,000 yearly, while many here make more this is more than enough to live comfortably and support a family. >You don't know how to talk to women!!! Once again false. I have studied women for quite some time and am quite familiar with their thought patterns and mannerisms >Women don't owe you anything!!! Yep you guessed it, False. As a well functioning, contributing member of society it is of the nation's best interest I obtain a wife and breed by high IQ genes for the next generation. I understand women are largely impulsive and still rely on their evolutionary desires in picking a mate (remember I have studied them for quite a while now. These urges however lead them to low IQ thugs who are incapable of even sticking around for the child and thus leads to a single mother epidemic we have now, proving that women cannot be trusted in picking a suitable mate for themselves. We've let women have their freedom for years now and we are seeing the effects of it in a decaying society, the government must step in and regulate marriages and I am a prime example of someone who deserves a wife. Curious to know what you guys think?

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Full Zoomer Jacket | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/09/22(Thu)10:06:17 No.169343560 fr.png 1.33 MB PNG >Big yikes! TF is that, Private Pyle? A jelly donut xir! H >Deadass? Im shook! Xir yes xir! >Are you allowed to slay jelly donuts Private Pyle? Xir no Xir! >And why not? Because im a thicc bitch xir! >Because you are a hecking chonker, Private Pyle! Xir yes xir! >Private Pyle has been acting mad sus no cap fr, I have tried to help they/them, but I have failed ong. From now, whenever they/them f--- up, I will not punish they/them, I will punish all of you, NO CAP. The way I see it, you owe me one jelly donut. BET.
Anonymous 06/09/22(Thu)10:06:17 No.169343560 fr.png 1.33 MB PNG >Big yikes! TF is that, Private Pyle? A jelly donut xir! H >Deadass? Im shook! Xir yes xir! >Are you allowed to slay jelly donuts Private Pyle? Xir no Xir! >And why not? Because im a thicc bitch xir! >Because you are a hecking chonker, Private Pyle! Xir yes xir! >Private Pyle has been acting mad sus no cap fr, I have tried to help they/them, but I have failed ong. From now, whenever they/them f--- up, I will not punish they/them, I will punish all of you, NO CAP. The way I see it, you owe me one jelly donut. BET.

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Anon has financial solutions | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 507 KB JPG 06/03/22 (Fri)15:06:21 No.68895124 >$100 an hour to go to a therapist >$0 to just tell yourself "it is what it is"
: Anonymous 507 KB JPG 06/03/22 (Fri)15:06:21 No.68895124 >$100 an hour to go to a therapist >$0 to just tell yourself "it is what it is"

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Anon’s girlfriend is a cuck. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/06/22(Tue)08:59:00 No.885171683 >be me, in a 4 year relationship with my girlfriend, everything is going great >one day she approaches me and says she wants to open up the relationship 100 KB JPG >my heart drops, my breath catches in my throat and the world darkens as I imagine our inevitable future breakup >"not for me but just for you, I want to see you with other girls" >turns out she gets turned on seeing me have sex with other women, and even wants to join in eventually >so yeah, life is great
: Anonymous 09/06/22(Tue)08:59:00 No.885171683 >be me, in a 4 year relationship with my girlfriend, everything is going great >one day she approaches me and says she wants to open up the relationship 100 KB JPG >my heart drops, my breath catches in my throat and the world darkens as I imagine our inevitable future breakup >"not for me but just for you, I want to see you with other girls" >turns out she gets turned on seeing me have sex with other women, and even wants to join in eventually >so yeah, life is great

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Anon prepares to game | /r/Greentext

File: gigachad-thinkpad-5d9ec41(...).jpg (24 KB, 758x644) >Multicore Rendering: Disabled >Effects: Low >View Distance: Low >Shadows: Off >Motion Blur: Off >Friendly Fire: Off >Difficulty: Easy >Tutorials: On >Cheats: Enabled >CPU Handicap: 50% Yep. It's gaming time. Anonymous 08/02/22(Tue)22: >Resolution: 800x600 >Aspect Ratio: 16:9 >V-Sync: Off >Refresh rate: 60Hz >Field of View: 75 >Subtitles: On >Antialiasing: Off >Texture Filtering: Bilinear >Texture detail: Low >Model detail: Low >Water detail: Simple Reflections >Shader detail: Low >Color Correction: Disabled
File: gigachad-thinkpad-5d9ec41(...).jpg (24 KB, 758x644) >Multicore Rendering: Disabled >Effects: Low >View Distance: Low >Shadows: Off >Motion Blur: Off >Friendly Fire: Off >Difficulty: Easy >Tutorials: On >Cheats: Enabled >CPU Handicap: 50% Yep. It's gaming time. Anonymous 08/02/22(Tue)22: >Resolution: 800x600 >Aspect Ratio: 16:9 >V-Sync: Off >Refresh rate: 60Hz >Field of View: 75 >Subtitles: On >Antialiasing: Off >Texture Filtering: Bilinear >Texture detail: Low >Model detail: Low >Water detail: Simple Reflections >Shader detail: Low >Color Correction: Disabled

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Anon loves his mom | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/19/22 (Fri)09:56:31 No.609521397 1652456198828.png 587 KB PNG >"Anon, I need your help" >"sure, mom" >*quits ranked match*
Anonymous 08/19/22 (Fri)09:56:31 No.609521397 1652456198828.png 587 KB PNG >"Anon, I need your help" >"sure, mom" >*quits ranked match*

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Anon graduates from training | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 22 KB PNG 02/19/21(Fri)18:30:30 No.62409173 >be me >think i'm an incel >realize i've never actually tried to seduce a girl >which makes me single by choice, not involuntary celibate >get Tinder, start watching pua s--- >take care of myself, start having hobbies >ask some girls out >get rejected >now I'm officially an incel how do you do, fellow social retards
: Anonymous 22 KB PNG 02/19/21(Fri)18:30:30 No.62409173 >be me >think i'm an incel >realize i've never actually tried to seduce a girl >which makes me single by choice, not involuntary celibate >get Tinder, start watching pua s--- >take care of myself, start having hobbies >ask some girls out >get rejected >now I'm officially an incel how do you do, fellow social retards

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Anon Is Also Schizo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I commit nefarious acts 362 KB PNG 11/07/21(Sun)11:29:37 No.66059693 >coworkers tell me boss reviews the footage every night I work >best coworker tells me boss looking for reasons to fire me >next night I come in with around 3-4 lassos of thin fishing line >act as if Im just walking around but secretly leaving lines on doors and drawers >pull doors and drawers closed magically >2 days later coworkers tell me my boss has been non stop replaying footage where I close a door magically >get a little more daring >tie fishing line around head put on hat >tie end to c-------- >low gravity spin c-------- into my mouth >mfw next night coworkers tell me boss is schizophrenic and retired >me and co worker look at the footage of my nefarious acts >mfw they could all see the fishing line >mfw I wasnt subtle at all >mfw my boss is just a schizoid and everyone thinks Im autistic View Thread
: Anonymous I commit nefarious acts 362 KB PNG 11/07/21(Sun)11:29:37 No.66059693 >coworkers tell me boss reviews the footage every night I work >best coworker tells me boss looking for reasons to fire me >next night I come in with around 3-4 lassos of thin fishing line >act as if Im just walking around but secretly leaving lines on doors and drawers >pull doors and drawers closed magically >2 days later coworkers tell me my boss has been non stop replaying footage where I close a door magically >get a little more daring >tie fishing line around head put on hat >tie end to c-------- >low gravity spin c-------- into my mouth >mfw next night coworkers tell me boss is schizophrenic and retired >me and co worker look at the footage of my nefarious acts >mfw they could all see the fishing line >mfw I wasnt subtle at all >mfw my boss is just a schizoid and everyone thinks Im autistic View Thread

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proof height privilege exists | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 64 KB JPG 11/02/22(Wed)14:49:01 No.70831290 >be me, several months ago >at college >overhear women talking about the Buffalo shooting >"Why are all these shooters always ugly, short guys?" >"Well, this last guy was actually like 6'2" >"Ohhh. Well that's alright, then" >TFW I didn't actually believe anything people said about women on this board until that moment >MFW
: Anonymous 64 KB JPG 11/02/22(Wed)14:49:01 No.70831290 >be me, several months ago >at college >overhear women talking about the Buffalo shooting >"Why are all these shooters always ugly, short guys?" >"Well, this last guy was actually like 6'2" >"Ohhh. Well that's alright, then" >TFW I didn't actually believe anything people said about women on this board until that moment >MFW

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Anon masters the art of home defense | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >>55896945 (OP) # >punch hole in dry wall >drop gun inside >patch hole 11/02/22(Wed)20:21:05 No.55897003 >repeat for every 5 feet of dry wall in your house Remind you CANNOT defend your home without this.
: Anonymous >>55896945 (OP) # >punch hole in dry wall >drop gun inside >patch hole 11/02/22(Wed)20:21:05 No.55897003 >repeat for every 5 feet of dry wall in your house Remind you CANNOT defend your home without this.

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Anon likes broccoli | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 38 KB JPG 04/07/19(Sun)01:47:25 No.106871385 Do real kids actually not like broccoli? It seems to be a trope for characters to hate it, but I loved eating broccoli and other vegetables as a kid. : Anonymous 04/07/19(Sun)01:57:05 No.106871668 I was poor so we had nothing but microwave s--- and ramen. I didnt try broccoli until i was in jr high and i was so surprised at how good it tasted. My friends mom had made broccoli and cheese. I ate about 3 servings and told her how it was my first time to try it. I told them how cartoons always told me it would taste so bad. I wish i could have f----- my friends mom >>106871807 # >>106877776 # >>106885879 #
: Anonymous 38 KB JPG 04/07/19(Sun)01:47:25 No.106871385 Do real kids actually not like broccoli? It seems to be a trope for characters to hate it, but I loved eating broccoli and other vegetables as a kid. : Anonymous 04/07/19(Sun)01:57:05 No.106871668 I was poor so we had nothing but microwave s--- and ramen. I didnt try broccoli until i was in jr high and i was so surprised at how good it tasted. My friends mom had made broccoli and cheese. I ate about 3 servings and told her how it was my first time to try it. I told them how cartoons always told me it would taste so bad. I wish i could have f----- my friends mom >>106871807 # >>106877776 # >>106885879 #

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Stoic Anon is ready | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 68834321 147.8 kB JPG >nofap >noporn >nocoffee >noalcohol 6 REPLIES 1 IMAGE You forgot. >No femboys Anonymous | 68834350 3 REPLIES >nopoo >nomovies >novideogames >nosocialmedia what else? I'm ready to take the no4chan pill 1 hr ago ... REPLY 1 hr ago ...
Anonymous | 68834321 147.8 kB JPG >nofap >noporn >nocoffee >noalcohol 6 REPLIES 1 IMAGE You forgot. >No femboys Anonymous | 68834350 3 REPLIES >nopoo >nomovies >novideogames >nosocialmedia what else? I'm ready to take the no4chan pill 1 hr ago ... REPLY 1 hr ago ...

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Anon doesn't like women | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/30/19(Sun)11:39:12 No.803525737 >Be me >cart pusher at ikea >8 hour shift >working hard >38 degree celsius >the sun is burning me >f------ exhausted and 78 KB JPG depressed >feel something poking me >it's a kid >max 4 years old >"Sir, can I have this cart please" >I smile >"of course, buddy" >he thanks me and runs with it towards his mom >my day is suddenly slightly better >finish shift >go back home >j-------, thinking about the little kid >sleep I like my job
: Anonymous 06/30/19(Sun)11:39:12 No.803525737 >Be me >cart pusher at ikea >8 hour shift >working hard >38 degree celsius >the sun is burning me >f------ exhausted and 78 KB JPG depressed >feel something poking me >it's a kid >max 4 years old >"Sir, can I have this cart please" >I smile >"of course, buddy" >he thanks me and runs with it towards his mom >my day is suddenly slightly better >finish shift >go back home >j-------, thinking about the little kid >sleep I like my job

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Classic greentext story. "don't worry he knows" | /r/Greentext

File: 1358598745671.jpg-(67 KB, 800x600, For4Chan01.jpg) >All our friends joke about us getting married one day >She knows I'm into her and she says she feels same way but "doesn't want to label it >Get her to make out but really not much more >Says she likes me too much and is afraid we'll go all the way if we do anything more >Resigned to being a virgin til I eventually marry this girl >Both of us mainly hang out with two other guys (lets call Eric and Dave) >Mainly consists of playing Halo at my house >Sometimes smoke weed when Eric can get it >Talk about parties but never get i invited >Eric starts hanging out with his oldfag cousin sometimes >Make fun of him for hanging out with 37 year old >Says cousin buys beer and lets him smoke at his place >wellwhy didntyousaysointhefirstplace.jpg >Start going to his cousins place to drink and play halo once a week when his wife and kids are gone visiting wife's parents >He buys the beer, has food, videogames, not bad situation >He can have a pretty annoying bossy attitude and thinks hes the king of our weekly hangs but whatever >Start bringing the pseudo-gf to these things >Cousin is always eyeing the f--- out of her but she's used to being the only girl at our hangs so whatever Continued >> Anonymous (ID: YiLxdjUe) 01/19/13(Sat)07:36:20 No.452153414 >>452153060 (OP) Anonymous (ID: hYpqmQGj) 01/19/13(Sat)07:32:25 No.452153060 Replies: >>452153414 >>452153772 >>452154186 >>452157264 >>452157960 >>452161987 >>452162321 >>452162418 >>452162608 >>452163065 >>452163220 >>452163858 >> Anonymous (ID: hYpqmQGj) 01/19/13(Sat)07:50:03 No.452154764 Replies: >>452155342 >>452162321 >>452162508 >>452163698 File: 1358599803376.jpg-(68 KB, 800x600, For4Chan02.jpg) Sorry I suck at typing. What to do /b/? I've been in love with the same girl for basically all my life but the situation is all f----- up now and I don't know how to stop f------ caring about her. Pic related, it's her >Be crushin on same girl for all my life >Knew her since kindergarten >Her parents are poor and live in a one bedroom with four kids so they don't care she sleeps over most nights >Hang out almost everyday for years when she says "Oh he's more like my best friend than anything" >seething anger when he says "Man you gotta lock that s--- down bro, she's banging >Only really see this cousinfag once a week and she still sleeps over all the time so thinking whatever nothing will come of it >I keep telling her he's an a------ >She agrees but tells me "you know me, I don't even know how to be rude" >Besides not like we can really stop going, ritual is pretty ingrained at this point >Eventually start combining Halo and drinking, halo drinking games >We're retards we didn't think of this sooner >Old cousinfag instates random different rules all the time >House rules he esn't really play, he sometimes has rules involving her says >Since pseudo-gf Panc >She has to get the beers if theres a multikill, s--- like that >Even though this cousinfag knows that this girl should be off limits he is always f------ hitting on her >Worst part is she doesn't seem to mind >One day he proposes she has to sit on lap of the guy who wins for the next game DO >Randomly this oldfag is the best of us so rule is obviously for him >One day he asks her why it doesn't say I'm her boyfriend on facebook >mfw 2 >I start to say, "Dude I don't think she wants..." >When at the same time she laughs and says "You boys.. implying okay >Feel like a huge f----- for being too protective, get red and just go with it >She spends the majority of the next couple of hours on his lap >Raging as we go home, get in a fight with her, make up as we always do continued >> Anonymous (ID: hYpqmQGj) 01/19/13(Sat)07:51:26 No.452154902 also harder than i thought for me to relive all this s--- so sorry for the slow pace, i'll try to be faster un to view viny umm >> Anonymous (ID: hYpqmQGj) 01/19/13(Sat)08:01:19 No.452155892 Replies: >>452156101 >>452156116 >>452156329 >>452156350 >>452156363 >>452156429 >>452162321 >S--- continues like this for the next few times >Mostly lap sitting >Sometimes they get her to do a joke sexy dance >Nothing I can get publically too mad about >My uncle has a wedding on the same day one of these hangs happens >Ask her not to go she probably won't >She says >Ask her again, basically begging this time >She says she'll >Both true statements, but I get mad at her telling her to have a spine >Get in a fight again >Don't have time to make up before leaving for wedding >ihaveareallybadfeeling.jpg >Fidgeting entire weekend >Text with her on ride back with the parents, she says to call her once I get back, by the tone I know she feels guilty Il try to get out of it but that the guys are pushy and she's bad at saying no >ohfuck. png >Turns out she had gotten too drunk and they incorporated stripping into the game, cousin, Eric and Dave all saw her completely naked >Whattheflyingfuck.jpg >get in another fight >mfw i realize that they've gotten more sexual pleasure out of her than me at this point >think its basically over, have to find a new social life >she calls me really late and comes over > cries apologizing, says she has a really big problem saying no and will try to fix it >forgive her and go to bed cuddling continued >> Anonymous (ID: PVdqgKy3) 01/19/13(Sat)08:03:30 No.452156101 >>452155892 aiso flore pics please >> Anonymous (ID: hYpqmQGj) 01/19/13(Sat)08:11:55 No.452156963 Replies: >>452157229 >>452157609 >>452162321 >Really awkward with Eric and Dave the next time I see them >Don't really address it for a while but eventually we have an awkward apology talk since I'm clearly p----- >She stops going to the cousinfags for a while >Eventually starts going again > to repair all our broken friendships" she says >Things >I know I gotta put a stop to this >Realize booze is really the main difference between my place and oldfags s slowly but surely evolve back to where they were >Start taking booze out of parents cabinet when we play halo at my place >Didn't really know what the f--- I was thinking since we still went to cousinfags as much as we used to >Eventually parents find out 00 >no0000000000000000.jpg >My grades also been going down also >Combination gets them megapissed Seddo-gr can't sleep over and I can't go out for a week >pseudo-gf and I fight over this can't even remember why the f--- we did >Get text couple of days later from cousinfag telling us he has the place to himself so to come over LOGO >Try to sneak out out but get caught >Frantically try to call her but she's still p-----, not picking up >Next day still no contact, weekend so don't see her at school >whatthefuckwhatthefuckingfuck.jpg >freak the f--- out, basically having emotional breakdown continued >>452157730 I want to believe OP wouldn't do that. >> Anonymous (ID: 1n00t0ik) 01/19/13(Sat)08:11:59 No.452156969 Hurry the f--- up op -------- >> Anonymous (ID: YSFAhA2+) 01/19/13(Sat)08:20:31 No.452157818 >>452162616 >> Anonymous (ID: hYpqmQGj) 01/19/13(Sat)08:22:01 No.452157949 Replies: >>452158091 >>452158459 >>452158483 >>452158492 >>452158501 >>452158745 >>452162321 File: 1358601721575.jpg-(56 KB, 800x598, For4Chan03.jpg) >really y f------ f------ awkward but basically tell me that they played strip halo again >Eric quickly leaves but Dave tells me later that Eric and cousin f-- were feeling her up while she was half passed out >says hes sorry and he tried to stop it >have no one else to be mad at so flip out at dave of course >eventually she texts me back eventually saying "you're acting like there's something to end >get this in front of dave and start crying, run away >so f------ embarrassed to even remember this f------ s--- >thinking life is over >Never had Prev --- >see her at school when Monday finally f------ comes >she avoids me all day >she leaves before I can track her down afterschool >she comes over that night, no text no call no nothing >is sobbing at the door >don't even know how to be mad at her >I tell her its okay, I heard what happened and I forgive you >she just keeps crying and we go to bed continued >text her a zillion times, tell her grounding is over and I really want to talk to her, if its over she can at least tell me >find Eric and Dave, too freaked out to be subtle ask them what the f--- happened >> Anonymous (ID: qwj4zea5) 01/19/13(Sat)08:22:11 No.452157960 Replies: >>452158646 >>452159762 >>452153060 (OP) I don't doubt OP is beta, but those two can't be the only parameters. I don't want to be either of them. >> Anonymous (ID: hYpqmQGj) 01/19/13(Sat)08:32:22 No.452158975 Replies: >>452159150 >>452159216 >>452159237 >>452159303 sorry I'm so slow, recanting is really affecting me >middle of the night, she randomly says "I love you" >unexpectedbestmomentomylife.jpg >don't even hesitate, say "I love you too" >"no matter what?" she says >I say or >asking no matter what continues for a while >I don't even have to ask but I do >eventually get bad feeling >she tells me that she had no where to go once my parents didn't let me have her over >that she hated staying at her house and how I knew how much she hated her parents >eventually admits she was telling oldfag this by text on her way home Friday night (when stripping happened) >he tells her his house is free until Monday, invites her to stay over >I am shaking while she tells me this >The way she was acting all clicks and makes sense in my mind la moment of clarity like this a >see her >Still p----- Med >MFW They >I don't even m >I say I'm not going >when >She tells me they went all the way >Not even sure why I asked the details but I had to Show many times? >she says I don't know a billion times and then settles down on five >did you >she says >what positions? what posi >missionary and doggy >condom? >pause, no >we're both crying this entire time >still in state of shock in the morning, get morning after pill though at least enjoy it? no but I press her and she says she orgasmed continued VCHILIC Utlacilan 15 itachieu now, i velis cursurutany mis orcicion puppeu vuuveraino Unoauicuntu milu a utaisell >> Anonymous (ID: hYpqmQGj) 01/19/13(Sat)08:46:24 No.452160373 Replies: >>452160525 >>452160559 >>452160612 >>452160617 >>452160628 >>452160654 >>452160657 >>452160685 >>452160689 >>452160701 >>452160703 >>452160713 >>452160718 >>452160721 >>452160779 >>452160801 >>452160890 >>452160943 >>452160950 >>452161031 >>452161065 >>452161086 >>452161274 >>452161301 >>452161327 >>452161384 >>452161465 >>452161486 >>452161770 >>452162138 >>452162321 >>452162589 >>452162670 >>452162862 >>452162975 >>452163457 >>452163786 her with Eric and Dave >We're still really weird the next few days but I'm still oddly positive >She says I love you all the time from never saying it at all >actually go facebook official >everyone at school has heard about what happened but I don't give a s--- >hold hands everywhere, we tell each other as long as we have each other it'll be okay >Finally catch up to yesterday >Get a text from oldfag saying to come over >Almost laugh that he thinks we're still going >After school look for real-gf now ask her if she's at Eric, so already in bad mood say they are on way over to cousinfags know what to say it's clear they are going to go with or without me I go with them >just play halo and drink for a while >so mad but don't even know what to do of awkwardness is even worse >se >feel like I'm not even in the room sto >try to get her to go home multiple times, eric and cousin convince her to stay >she's on my lap the entire time with my arms around her >end up watching Prometheus >dave has gone home at this point make the mistal >make the mistake of getting up to get a beer de he >when I'm I'm back she's on oldfags lap okay >I Labe >she says yes >halfway through oldfag and her start kissing >eric goes "dude chill out" >mfw when she says, "don't worry he knows >I tell her that I'm leaving >She says she's going to stay This was last night and I haven't talked to her since 1
File: 1358598745671.jpg-(67 KB, 800x600, For4Chan01.jpg) >All our friends joke about us getting married one day >She knows I'm into her and she says she feels same way but "doesn't want to label it >Get her to make out but really not much more >Says she likes me too much and is afraid we'll go all the way if we do anything more >Resigned to being a virgin til I eventually marry this girl >Both of us mainly hang out with two other guys (lets call Eric and Dave) >Mainly consists of playing Halo at my house >Sometimes smoke weed when Eric can get it >Talk about parties but never get i invited >Eric starts hanging out with his oldfag cousin sometimes >Make fun of him for hanging out with 37 year old >Says cousin buys beer and lets him smoke at his place >wellwhy didntyousaysointhefirstplace.jpg >Start going to his cousins place to drink and play halo once a week when his wife and kids are gone visiting wife's parents >He buys the beer, has food, videogames, not bad situation >He can have a pretty annoying bossy attitude and thinks hes the king of our weekly hangs but whatever >Start bringing the pseudo-gf to these things >Cousin is always eyeing the f--- out of her but she's used to being the only girl at our hangs so whatever Continued >> Anonymous (ID: YiLxdjUe) 01/19/13(Sat)07:36:20 No.452153414 >>452153060 (OP) Anonymous (ID: hYpqmQGj) 01/19/13(Sat)07:32:25 No.452153060 Replies: >>452153414 >>452153772 >>452154186 >>452157264 >>452157960 >>452161987 >>452162321 >>452162418 >>452162608 >>452163065 >>452163220 >>452163858 >> Anonymous (ID: hYpqmQGj) 01/19/13(Sat)07:50:03 No.452154764 Replies: >>452155342 >>452162321 >>452162508 >>452163698 File: 1358599803376.jpg-(68 KB, 800x600, For4Chan02.jpg) Sorry I suck at typing. What to do /b/? I've been in love with the same girl for basically all my life but the situation is all f----- up now and I don't know how to stop f------ caring about her. Pic related, it's her >Be crushin on same girl for all my life >Knew her since kindergarten >Her parents are poor and live in a one bedroom with four kids so they don't care she sleeps over most nights >Hang out almost everyday for years when she says "Oh he's more like my best friend than anything" >seething anger when he says "Man you gotta lock that s--- down bro, she's banging >Only really see this cousinfag once a week and she still sleeps over all the time so thinking whatever nothing will come of it >I keep telling her he's an a------ >She agrees but tells me "you know me, I don't even know how to be rude" >Besides not like we can really stop going, ritual is pretty ingrained at this point >Eventually start combining Halo and drinking, halo drinking games >We're retards we didn't think of this sooner >Old cousinfag instates random different rules all the time >House rules he esn't really play, he sometimes has rules involving her says >Since pseudo-gf Panc >She has to get the beers if theres a multikill, s--- like that >Even though this cousinfag knows that this girl should be off limits he is always f------ hitting on her >Worst part is she doesn't seem to mind >One day he proposes she has to sit on lap of the guy who wins for the next game DO >Randomly this oldfag is the best of us so rule is obviously for him >One day he asks her why it doesn't say I'm her boyfriend on facebook >mfw 2 >I start to say, "Dude I don't think she wants..." >When at the same time she laughs and says "You boys.. implying okay >Feel like a huge f----- for being too protective, get red and just go with it >She spends the majority of the next couple of hours on his lap >Raging as we go home, get in a fight with her, make up as we always do continued >> Anonymous (ID: hYpqmQGj) 01/19/13(Sat)07:51:26 No.452154902 also harder than i thought for me to relive all this s--- so sorry for the slow pace, i'll try to be faster un to view viny umm >> Anonymous (ID: hYpqmQGj) 01/19/13(Sat)08:01:19 No.452155892 Replies: >>452156101 >>452156116 >>452156329 >>452156350 >>452156363 >>452156429 >>452162321 >S--- continues like this for the next few times >Mostly lap sitting >Sometimes they get her to do a joke sexy dance >Nothing I can get publically too mad about >My uncle has a wedding on the same day one of these hangs happens >Ask her not to go she probably won't >She says >Ask her again, basically begging this time >She says she'll >Both true statements, but I get mad at her telling her to have a spine >Get in a fight again >Don't have time to make up before leaving for wedding >ihaveareallybadfeeling.jpg >Fidgeting entire weekend >Text with her on ride back with the parents, she says to call her once I get back, by the tone I know she feels guilty Il try to get out of it but that the guys are pushy and she's bad at saying no >ohfuck. png >Turns out she had gotten too drunk and they incorporated stripping into the game, cousin, Eric and Dave all saw her completely naked >Whattheflyingfuck.jpg >get in another fight >mfw i realize that they've gotten more sexual pleasure out of her than me at this point >think its basically over, have to find a new social life >she calls me really late and comes over > cries apologizing, says she has a really big problem saying no and will try to fix it >forgive her and go to bed cuddling continued >> Anonymous (ID: PVdqgKy3) 01/19/13(Sat)08:03:30 No.452156101 >>452155892 aiso flore pics please >> Anonymous (ID: hYpqmQGj) 01/19/13(Sat)08:11:55 No.452156963 Replies: >>452157229 >>452157609 >>452162321 >Really awkward with Eric and Dave the next time I see them >Don't really address it for a while but eventually we have an awkward apology talk since I'm clearly p----- >She stops going to the cousinfags for a while >Eventually starts going again > to repair all our broken friendships" she says >Things >I know I gotta put a stop to this >Realize booze is really the main difference between my place and oldfags s slowly but surely evolve back to where they were >Start taking booze out of parents cabinet when we play halo at my place >Didn't really know what the f--- I was thinking since we still went to cousinfags as much as we used to >Eventually parents find out 00 >no0000000000000000.jpg >My grades also been going down also >Combination gets them megapissed Seddo-gr can't sleep over and I can't go out for a week >pseudo-gf and I fight over this can't even remember why the f--- we did >Get text couple of days later from cousinfag telling us he has the place to himself so to come over LOGO >Try to sneak out out but get caught >Frantically try to call her but she's still p-----, not picking up >Next day still no contact, weekend so don't see her at school >whatthefuckwhatthefuckingfuck.jpg >freak the f--- out, basically having emotional breakdown continued >>452157730 I want to believe OP wouldn't do that. >> Anonymous (ID: 1n00t0ik) 01/19/13(Sat)08:11:59 No.452156969 Hurry the f--- up op -------- >> Anonymous (ID: YSFAhA2+) 01/19/13(Sat)08:20:31 No.452157818 >>452162616 >> Anonymous (ID: hYpqmQGj) 01/19/13(Sat)08:22:01 No.452157949 Replies: >>452158091 >>452158459 >>452158483 >>452158492 >>452158501 >>452158745 >>452162321 File: 1358601721575.jpg-(56 KB, 800x598, For4Chan03.jpg) >really y f------ f------ awkward but basically tell me that they played strip halo again >Eric quickly leaves but Dave tells me later that Eric and cousin f-- were feeling her up while she was half passed out >says hes sorry and he tried to stop it >have no one else to be mad at so flip out at dave of course >eventually she texts me back eventually saying "you're acting like there's something to end >get this in front of dave and start crying, run away >so f------ embarrassed to even remember this f------ s--- >thinking life is over >Never had Prev --- >see her at school when Monday finally f------ comes >she avoids me all day >she leaves before I can track her down afterschool >she comes over that night, no text no call no nothing >is sobbing at the door >don't even know how to be mad at her >I tell her its okay, I heard what happened and I forgive you >she just keeps crying and we go to bed continued >text her a zillion times, tell her grounding is over and I really want to talk to her, if its over she can at least tell me >find Eric and Dave, too freaked out to be subtle ask them what the f--- happened >> Anonymous (ID: qwj4zea5) 01/19/13(Sat)08:22:11 No.452157960 Replies: >>452158646 >>452159762 >>452153060 (OP) I don't doubt OP is beta, but those two can't be the only parameters. I don't want to be either of them. >> Anonymous (ID: hYpqmQGj) 01/19/13(Sat)08:32:22 No.452158975 Replies: >>452159150 >>452159216 >>452159237 >>452159303 sorry I'm so slow, recanting is really affecting me >middle of the night, she randomly says "I love you" >unexpectedbestmomentomylife.jpg >don't even hesitate, say "I love you too" >"no matter what?" she says >I say or >asking no matter what continues for a while >I don't even have to ask but I do >eventually get bad feeling >she tells me that she had no where to go once my parents didn't let me have her over >that she hated staying at her house and how I knew how much she hated her parents >eventually admits she was telling oldfag this by text on her way home Friday night (when stripping happened) >he tells her his house is free until Monday, invites her to stay over >I am shaking while she tells me this >The way she was acting all clicks and makes sense in my mind la moment of clarity like this a >see her >Still p----- Med >MFW They >I don't even m >I say I'm not going >when >She tells me they went all the way >Not even sure why I asked the details but I had to Show many times? >she says I don't know a billion times and then settles down on five >did you >she says >what positions? what posi >missionary and doggy >condom? >pause, no >we're both crying this entire time >still in state of shock in the morning, get morning after pill though at least enjoy it? no but I press her and she says she orgasmed continued VCHILIC Utlacilan 15 itachieu now, i velis cursurutany mis orcicion puppeu vuuveraino Unoauicuntu milu a utaisell >> Anonymous (ID: hYpqmQGj) 01/19/13(Sat)08:46:24 No.452160373 Replies: >>452160525 >>452160559 >>452160612 >>452160617 >>452160628 >>452160654 >>452160657 >>452160685 >>452160689 >>452160701 >>452160703 >>452160713 >>452160718 >>452160721 >>452160779 >>452160801 >>452160890 >>452160943 >>452160950 >>452161031 >>452161065 >>452161086 >>452161274 >>452161301 >>452161327 >>452161384 >>452161465 >>452161486 >>452161770 >>452162138 >>452162321 >>452162589 >>452162670 >>452162862 >>452162975 >>452163457 >>452163786 her with Eric and Dave >We're still really weird the next few days but I'm still oddly positive >She says I love you all the time from never saying it at all >actually go facebook official >everyone at school has heard about what happened but I don't give a s--- >hold hands everywhere, we tell each other as long as we have each other it'll be okay >Finally catch up to yesterday >Get a text from oldfag saying to come over >Almost laugh that he thinks we're still going >After school look for real-gf now ask her if she's at Eric, so already in bad mood say they are on way over to cousinfags know what to say it's clear they are going to go with or without me I go with them >just play halo and drink for a while >so mad but don't even know what to do of awkwardness is even worse >se >feel like I'm not even in the room sto >try to get her to go home multiple times, eric and cousin convince her to stay >she's on my lap the entire time with my arms around her >end up watching Prometheus >dave has gone home at this point make the mistal >make the mistake of getting up to get a beer de he >when I'm I'm back she's on oldfags lap okay >I Labe >she says yes >halfway through oldfag and her start kissing >eric goes "dude chill out" >mfw when she says, "don't worry he knows >I tell her that I'm leaving >She says she's going to stay This was last night and I haven't talked to her since 1

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Anon Should Dump His GF Imo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/17/21 (Wed)06:05:42 No.66190506 >gf proposed a once-a-year cheat- "coupon" for both of us >told her its a dogshit idea and i hate it >she got really f------ upset and kept trying to convince me >told her ill think about it and tell her tomorrow 62 KB JPG Alright bros should I dump her? She expresses open intent to have sex with someone other than me. Everything thinks about f------ other people Im aware of that but you know what I mean. If I say no she'll f--- another guy behind my back and I refuse to get cucked. Opinions? I dont think this relationship will be healthy from now on, this stupid w---- is gonna ruin everything
: Anonymous 11/17/21 (Wed)06:05:42 No.66190506 >gf proposed a once-a-year cheat- "coupon" for both of us >told her its a dogshit idea and i hate it >she got really f------ upset and kept trying to convince me >told her ill think about it and tell her tomorrow 62 KB JPG Alright bros should I dump her? She expresses open intent to have sex with someone other than me. Everything thinks about f------ other people Im aware of that but you know what I mean. If I say no she'll f--- another guy behind my back and I refuse to get cucked. Opinions? I dont think this relationship will be healthy from now on, this stupid w---- is gonna ruin everything

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Anon deserves stitches | /r/Greentext

Anonymous > Be me > Anti-social loser in CS masters program > TA'ing because I like to torture myself > Professors complain that too many students are getting away with cheating in the junior and senior classes because they're to lazy to update the curriculum and GitHub exists > Tell prof I'm TA'ing for that I bet if he pretends to be a student and shares around some private git with a doctored project that only works for the auto-graded question but failed hand checks that he could catch a bunch of lazy retards cheating. > Made this comment last spring, forget completely. > Cut to today. 17 KB JPG > TA'ing still > This last weekend the first capstone class had their first project due 09/28/21(Tue)08:30:46 No.65554532 > Dreading grading that, but w/e > Wake up this morning > Email from professor > "Thanks for the advice, hope you get a kick out of it." > Attached: Cheaters dot zip > Professor sent me a zip file containing a ton of evidence he gathered of students cheating. M----------- made a discord pretending to be a student, shared around a general solution to the first project that will only work with the auto grader questions but will fail everything else. 22/100 students failed his hand check on a first pass. The punishment for cheating in the capstone is immediate expulsion at this uni and he posted on canvas that he has a "big" announcement to make today. So, how was everyone's morning going? Anonymous 916 KB PNG 09/28/21 (Tue)09:17:19 No.65554880 bad, f--- you
Anonymous > Be me > Anti-social loser in CS masters program > TA'ing because I like to torture myself > Professors complain that too many students are getting away with cheating in the junior and senior classes because they're to lazy to update the curriculum and GitHub exists > Tell prof I'm TA'ing for that I bet if he pretends to be a student and shares around some private git with a doctored project that only works for the auto-graded question but failed hand checks that he could catch a bunch of lazy retards cheating. > Made this comment last spring, forget completely. > Cut to today. 17 KB JPG > TA'ing still > This last weekend the first capstone class had their first project due 09/28/21(Tue)08:30:46 No.65554532 > Dreading grading that, but w/e > Wake up this morning > Email from professor > "Thanks for the advice, hope you get a kick out of it." > Attached: Cheaters dot zip > Professor sent me a zip file containing a ton of evidence he gathered of students cheating. M----------- made a discord pretending to be a student, shared around a general solution to the first project that will only work with the auto grader questions but will fail everything else. 22/100 students failed his hand check on a first pass. The punishment for cheating in the capstone is immediate expulsion at this uni and he posted on canvas that he has a "big" announcement to make today. So, how was everyone's morning going? Anonymous 916 KB PNG 09/28/21 (Tue)09:17:19 No.65554880 bad, f--- you

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