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Anon doesn't like Imagine Dragons | /r/Greentext

ile: artworks-UZEBj8UflcCyRpe4(...).jpg (115 KB, 500x500) Arcane Anonymous 06/05/24(Wed)12:35:16 No. 199821391 >Highest acclaimed animated show of all time >Successful adaptation of one of the most played game of all time >Loved by fans and also praised by them >Beautiful animation, soundtrack en voice acting >Decide to give the show a shot >Opening starts >"OOH THE MISERY" >Opening made by Imagine Dragons >Dropped right f------ there Seriously what the f--- went so f------ wrong with this one. <<
ile: artworks-UZEBj8UflcCyRpe4(...).jpg (115 KB, 500x500) Arcane Anonymous 06/05/24(Wed)12:35:16 No. 199821391 >Highest acclaimed animated show of all time >Successful adaptation of one of the most played game of all time >Loved by fans and also praised by them >Beautiful animation, soundtrack en voice acting >Decide to give the show a shot >Opening starts >"OOH THE MISERY" >Opening made by Imagine Dragons >Dropped right f------ there Seriously what the f--- went so f------ wrong with this one. <<

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Anon spoke the truth | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 556 KB PNG talking about sex 04/20/24(Sat) 17:15:48 No.77204993 >Be good looking virgin guy >23 yo >supposedly women want virgin guys >can pull dates easily >go on dates with women from decent places (church, book clubs, other clubs) >by the 3rd or 4th date we start >be honest and tell them I am a virgin >get ghosted This has happen 5 times already, should I just hire some escorts and lose my v-card? I wanted my first time to be with someone I love. Anonymous >>77204993 (OP) # >women want virgins 04/20/24(Sat) 17:18:01 No.77205012 Where did you hear this? Women want men that have had a lot of sex. >more experience = better in bed >feel good about themselves because they got a guy who was apparently in demand yes this is retarded obviously, but women don't think critically
: Anonymous 556 KB PNG talking about sex 04/20/24(Sat) 17:15:48 No.77204993 >Be good looking virgin guy >23 yo >supposedly women want virgin guys >can pull dates easily >go on dates with women from decent places (church, book clubs, other clubs) >by the 3rd or 4th date we start >be honest and tell them I am a virgin >get ghosted This has happen 5 times already, should I just hire some escorts and lose my v-card? I wanted my first time to be with someone I love. Anonymous >>77204993 (OP) # >women want virgins 04/20/24(Sat) 17:18:01 No.77205012 Where did you hear this? Women want men that have had a lot of sex. >more experience = better in bed >feel good about themselves because they got a guy who was apparently in demand yes this is retarded obviously, but women don't think critically

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Anon is winning | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Inflection point: Should I bec(...) 183 KB JPG 07/05/21(Mon)22:05:02 No.64455881 >27 yo >khvirgin >Meet a cute 31 year old single mom >She has a 7 year old boy >Starts showing interest in me >Thinks I'm cool, flirts, eventually asks me out. >The date was awesome, I was nervous and she thought it was cute. >Drops her at her place, the nanny is just leaving >"Hey anon, my kid is already sleeping, don't you want to come in?" >holyshititshappening.jpg >Small talk on the couch, she jumps on top of me and starts making out with me. >Sex.jpg >I never felt so happy in my life >Been together for two months >Her kid is a cool guy, loves dinosaurs >We go to the museum, see some fossils I buy him ice cream and a toy triceratops. >"uncle anon, this is the best day ever" For the first time in my life, I feel a fraction of what a being a father is like. I feel purpose and drive, my job doesn't seem pointless anymore. I look forward to meeting them and doing family stuff together. Am I making a huge mistake? I think I'm gonna marry this woman and adopt the little guy.
Anonymous Inflection point: Should I bec(...) 183 KB JPG 07/05/21(Mon)22:05:02 No.64455881 >27 yo >khvirgin >Meet a cute 31 year old single mom >She has a 7 year old boy >Starts showing interest in me >Thinks I'm cool, flirts, eventually asks me out. >The date was awesome, I was nervous and she thought it was cute. >Drops her at her place, the nanny is just leaving >"Hey anon, my kid is already sleeping, don't you want to come in?" >holyshititshappening.jpg >Small talk on the couch, she jumps on top of me and starts making out with me. >Sex.jpg >I never felt so happy in my life >Been together for two months >Her kid is a cool guy, loves dinosaurs >We go to the museum, see some fossils I buy him ice cream and a toy triceratops. >"uncle anon, this is the best day ever" For the first time in my life, I feel a fraction of what a being a father is like. I feel purpose and drive, my job doesn't seem pointless anymore. I look forward to meeting them and doing family stuff together. Am I making a huge mistake? I think I'm gonna marry this woman and adopt the little guy.

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Anons grandpa dodges recruitment | /r/Greentext

> Just discovered my great- grandfather dodged going to war in my country in 1932 just cause he was afraid, he literally abandoned his house and went to live into a cave for a week while the army was on his town to look for combatiants, his mother told the army he was living in another city and he already may have gone to war. Then he came back to his house one day at midnight and avoided getting seen by people for a year, he even had an affair and a kid with his neighbours daughter during that time. 77 KB JPG How should i feel about this? Was grandpa a p---- or based?
> Just discovered my great- grandfather dodged going to war in my country in 1932 just cause he was afraid, he literally abandoned his house and went to live into a cave for a week while the army was on his town to look for combatiants, his mother told the army he was living in another city and he already may have gone to war. Then he came back to his house one day at midnight and avoided getting seen by people for a year, he even had an affair and a kid with his neighbours daughter during that time. 77 KB JPG How should i feel about this? Was grandpa a p---- or based?

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Boomers are slow | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: LznyA98M) 26 KB JPG 09/11/19(Wed)13:59:20 No.226234236 >Be THC oil cartridge >Very popular among teens as it gets you extremely stoned and the smell dissipates faster than smoke >Kids are retarded and buy cheap cartridges from chinese Instagram accounts that ship directly to your house because they don't know how to use the darknet >Kids start getting sick by vaping low quality THC cartridges with dangerous ingredients >Big tobacco uses this as an opportunity to demonize all vapes, including nicotine vapes >boomers eat it up without question >Trump is set to ban vaping flavored nicotine juice >Cigarettes are still okay though Boomers are retarded. 237 Replies/34 Images View Thread
Anonymous (ID: LznyA98M) 26 KB JPG 09/11/19(Wed)13:59:20 No.226234236 >Be THC oil cartridge >Very popular among teens as it gets you extremely stoned and the smell dissipates faster than smoke >Kids are retarded and buy cheap cartridges from chinese Instagram accounts that ship directly to your house because they don't know how to use the darknet >Kids start getting sick by vaping low quality THC cartridges with dangerous ingredients >Big tobacco uses this as an opportunity to demonize all vapes, including nicotine vapes >boomers eat it up without question >Trump is set to ban vaping flavored nicotine juice >Cigarettes are still okay though Boomers are retarded. 237 Replies/34 Images View Thread

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Anon saw a gorilla | /r/Greentext

207 KB JPG >Go to zoo >See gorrillas >See big gorrilla walking in front of glass wall >it stares at big black obese woman in tight gym clothes >Sticks its tongue out >everyone laughs >This arouses me >Rush home >Prepare for major gooning session >Take 2 cialis >Look for quality gorrilla/bbw p--- online >Cant find anything decent >One vid with guy in gorrilla costume >Not particularly convincing >Cialis kicking in >Put on loose training pants >Wear baggy jacket >Head back to the zoo
207 KB JPG >Go to zoo >See gorrillas >See big gorrilla walking in front of glass wall >it stares at big black obese woman in tight gym clothes >Sticks its tongue out >everyone laughs >This arouses me >Rush home >Prepare for major gooning session >Take 2 cialis >Look for quality gorrilla/bbw p--- online >Cant find anything decent >One vid with guy in gorrilla costume >Not particularly convincing >Cialis kicking in >Put on loose training pants >Wear baggy jacket >Head back to the zoo

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anon is a danger to society (in fallout) | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/25/09(Wed)20:45 No. 27753105 File:1235612747 jpg-(54 KB, 710x550, bumble.jpg) == BLAST OFF F5 I play Fallout 3 hardcore style. Pretty simple. No saving. No reloading. When you die, you die. Also, your character must have flaws. My first character, for example, was a p--------. Whenever I reached a new outpost, the first thing I would do is look for little girls. I would follow them around, talk to them, try to look up their skirts, etc. I would learn their routines and where they lived. I would hide in their houses at night so I could watch them sleep. So when I found little lamplight I almost didn't know what to do with myself. So many new playthings. Especially Bumble Sweet little innocent Bumble. I wandered about for what seemed hours, playing tag and investigating. Then I came across the girls bathroom. I stared down at the filthy water in the toilet. This is it. This is where my sweet little Bumble peed. I drank the radiated toilet water until my character died. That's Fallout 3 hardcore style.
Anonymous 02/25/09(Wed)20:45 No. 27753105 File:1235612747 jpg-(54 KB, 710x550, bumble.jpg) == BLAST OFF F5 I play Fallout 3 hardcore style. Pretty simple. No saving. No reloading. When you die, you die. Also, your character must have flaws. My first character, for example, was a p--------. Whenever I reached a new outpost, the first thing I would do is look for little girls. I would follow them around, talk to them, try to look up their skirts, etc. I would learn their routines and where they lived. I would hide in their houses at night so I could watch them sleep. So when I found little lamplight I almost didn't know what to do with myself. So many new playthings. Especially Bumble Sweet little innocent Bumble. I wandered about for what seemed hours, playing tag and investigating. Then I came across the girls bathroom. I stared down at the filthy water in the toilet. This is it. This is where my sweet little Bumble peed. I drank the radiated toilet water until my character died. That's Fallout 3 hardcore style.

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Anon washs face | /r/Greentext

File: 599994yVop.jpg (17 KB, 383x228) Anonymous 06/05/24(Wed)00:36:09 No.77724534 ►>>77724551 >>77724922 >>77725029 >Thoroughly wash my face, use shitloads of different products and scrubs to the point its sqeaky clean >Next morning the entire face is covered in painful zits and pimples
File: 599994yVop.jpg (17 KB, 383x228) Anonymous 06/05/24(Wed)00:36:09 No.77724534 ►>>77724551 >>77724922 >>77725029 >Thoroughly wash my face, use shitloads of different products and scrubs to the point its sqeaky clean >Next morning the entire face is covered in painful zits and pimples

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how did they do it ? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous LAND OF CONFUSION 117 KB JPG 08/15/23(Tue)09:21:40 No.904372643 >bible thumpers don't believe in science >have more nobel prize winning scientists than any other country >have no culture >are the largest culture exporter in the world through entertainment, fashion, food, >too stupid to know where Canada is on the map >dominate in technological advancements from computers to space exploration to everything in between >the most obese country in the world surviving on cheese and diet coke >consistently a leader in olympic sports decade after decade >destroy countries with war >produce more wealth around the world than any empire has in human history >broken healthcare system >most advanced medical services centers in the world >terrible education system that produces idiots >home of almost every top university in the world >live in hillbilly swamplands and s----- ghettos >inspiring infrastructures and urbanizations of cities around the world Can anyone explain what the f--- is America?
Anonymous LAND OF CONFUSION 117 KB JPG 08/15/23(Tue)09:21:40 No.904372643 >bible thumpers don't believe in science >have more nobel prize winning scientists than any other country >have no culture >are the largest culture exporter in the world through entertainment, fashion, food, >too stupid to know where Canada is on the map >dominate in technological advancements from computers to space exploration to everything in between >the most obese country in the world surviving on cheese and diet coke >consistently a leader in olympic sports decade after decade >destroy countries with war >produce more wealth around the world than any empire has in human history >broken healthcare system >most advanced medical services centers in the world >terrible education system that produces idiots >home of almost every top university in the world >live in hillbilly swamplands and s----- ghettos >inspiring infrastructures and urbanizations of cities around the world Can anyone explain what the f--- is America?

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Anon is perplexed by the Japanese | /r/Greentext

Anonymous first contact 06/02/24(Sun)15:54:14 No. 16700198 TSWPhj40iECdryOhxaB9MFLxsyjtrJLKB-SWRLv7eLk.jpg 200 KB JPG Portuguese accounts of japanese people >yeah so basically they live over there, they got slanted eyes and pale skin, quiet people, etc Japanese accounts of portuguese people >ABBERANT BARBARIANS FROM THE UNFATHOMABLE WORLD BEYOND, LOOK LIKE DEMONS OR GOBLINS, DISGUSTING LANGUAGE WE SOMEHOW CANNOT COMPREHEND why are they like this? it's like they were so f------ clueless about the world that they couldn't conceive of them just being normal blokes simply from another part of the world with a different culture and origin
Anonymous first contact 06/02/24(Sun)15:54:14 No. 16700198 TSWPhj40iECdryOhxaB9MFLxsyjtrJLKB-SWRLv7eLk.jpg 200 KB JPG Portuguese accounts of japanese people >yeah so basically they live over there, they got slanted eyes and pale skin, quiet people, etc Japanese accounts of portuguese people >ABBERANT BARBARIANS FROM THE UNFATHOMABLE WORLD BEYOND, LOOK LIKE DEMONS OR GOBLINS, DISGUSTING LANGUAGE WE SOMEHOW CANNOT COMPREHEND why are they like this? it's like they were so f------ clueless about the world that they couldn't conceive of them just being normal blokes simply from another part of the world with a different culture and origin

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anon forgot what she does for a living | /r/Greentext

Kanye West sued for harassment by ex-assistant Ya 04/24(Tue)20:43:41 No.122228142 ] Anonymous 06/04/24(Tue)20:43:41 No.122228142 >be songwriter and vocalist >also an OF performative artist >but just to pay the bills til my YT channel goes viral >Ye says he loves my work and offers me a job >wow he must've heard my mixtape! >says he'll pay me $1 mil a yr to be his "personal assistant" >OMFG he totally wants to feature me on his next album >contract says I have to "be immaculate" and "available at all hours of the night" >nbd, lots of geniuses love to record late into the night >picrel when he starts sending me sexually suggestive msgs
Kanye West sued for harassment by ex-assistant Ya 04/24(Tue)20:43:41 No.122228142 ] Anonymous 06/04/24(Tue)20:43:41 No.122228142 >be songwriter and vocalist >also an OF performative artist >but just to pay the bills til my YT channel goes viral >Ye says he loves my work and offers me a job >wow he must've heard my mixtape! >says he'll pay me $1 mil a yr to be his "personal assistant" >OMFG he totally wants to feature me on his next album >contract says I have to "be immaculate" and "available at all hours of the night" >nbd, lots of geniuses love to record late into the night >picrel when he starts sending me sexually suggestive msgs

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Anon introduces himself | /r/Greentext

File: 1351207832161.png-(20 KB, 204x242, i+know+that+forever+alone+feel+_635(...).png) Anonymous (ID: J9uxESB2) 10/25/12(Thu)19:30:32 No.432841436 ITT: We share our most recent spaghetti experiences. >be today >walking to first class of the day >see girl i know >she smiles at me >extend my hand for a handshake >oh no, we're still 20 feet away >walk at her with hand extended the whole time >finally get to her >she ignores my hand >my first words are "sorry" >she says "what?" >i say "good day" for some reason in an Australian accent >begin walking off, but turns out we're walking to the same building >try to walk fast, but she's just a pace behind me the whole time >turn around just as we reach the building and ask her how her day has been >its 8 30 in the morning >she says fine >i proceed to my class >left a trail of spaghetti everywhere hate myself.
File: 1351207832161.png-(20 KB, 204x242, i+know+that+forever+alone+feel+_635(...).png) Anonymous (ID: J9uxESB2) 10/25/12(Thu)19:30:32 No.432841436 ITT: We share our most recent spaghetti experiences. >be today >walking to first class of the day >see girl i know >she smiles at me >extend my hand for a handshake >oh no, we're still 20 feet away >walk at her with hand extended the whole time >finally get to her >she ignores my hand >my first words are "sorry" >she says "what?" >i say "good day" for some reason in an Australian accent >begin walking off, but turns out we're walking to the same building >try to walk fast, but she's just a pace behind me the whole time >turn around just as we reach the building and ask her how her day has been >its 8 30 in the morning >she says fine >i proceed to my class >left a trail of spaghetti everywhere hate myself.

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It's a reverse prank, bro | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 38 KB JPG 06/04/24(Tue)20:37:00 No.919393414 >be me >Get Intel from sister that my brother is going to prank us by putting one of those pics that makes a TV look broken >Idea.png >Swap TV out and replace with an old one that's been sitting in the garage and distract him > Set it up > He puts the pic on when I come home, I freak out and grab a tire iron and smash it >He freaks out and starts punching me >He is legit beating my ass so I have to defend myself >Knock him out, gets taken to hospital >It's a prank, bro
: Anonymous 38 KB JPG 06/04/24(Tue)20:37:00 No.919393414 >be me >Get Intel from sister that my brother is going to prank us by putting one of those pics that makes a TV look broken >Idea.png >Swap TV out and replace with an old one that's been sitting in the garage and distract him > Set it up > He puts the pic on when I come home, I freak out and grab a tire iron and smash it >He freaks out and starts punching me >He is legit beating my ass so I have to defend myself >Knock him out, gets taken to hospital >It's a prank, bro

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Anon tries to be hygienic | /r/Greentext

. 55m (06/04/24 15:36) 77724534 4 Re 1 Img JPG 16KB (383 × 228) 599994yVop.jpg 3 Replies >Thoroughly wash my face, use shitloads of different products and scrubs to the point its sqeaky clean >Next morning the entire face is covered in painful zits and pimples
. 55m (06/04/24 15:36) 77724534 4 Re 1 Img JPG 16KB (383 × 228) 599994yVop.jpg 3 Replies >Thoroughly wash my face, use shitloads of different products and scrubs to the point its sqeaky clean >Next morning the entire face is covered in painful zits and pimples

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Christ Be Magnified | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous ▼ Settings Mobile Home 06/04/24(Tue)16:04:21 No.77723169 109 KB PNG >fasting is finally starting to eat through my manboobs
Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous ▼ Settings Mobile Home 06/04/24(Tue)16:04:21 No.77723169 109 KB PNG >fasting is finally starting to eat through my manboobs

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Food Fight | /r/Greentext

Board /bant/ - International/Random Anonymous (ID: CffD0Fgi) ▼Settings Mobile Home 06/04/24(Tue)17:17:55 No.20458479 433 KB PNG >Brexit made le food more expensive >*Proceeds to waste a milkshake* >That'll show him! Well done Victoria. I will sure not be voting reform from now on. NZIE MCKE
Board /bant/ - International/Random Anonymous (ID: CffD0Fgi) ▼Settings Mobile Home 06/04/24(Tue)17:17:55 No.20458479 433 KB PNG >Brexit made le food more expensive >*Proceeds to waste a milkshake* >That'll show him! Well done Victoria. I will sure not be voting reform from now on. NZIE MCKE

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Anon gets an Uber | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 98rDmJ7w) 59 KB JPG 06/04/24(Tue)13:26:26 No.4701701 >You get into an Uber >see this >a small piece of duct tape with a poorly drawn U covering the sign falls >it's reads Jewber >the doors lock >what do
Anonymous (ID: 98rDmJ7w) 59 KB JPG 06/04/24(Tue)13:26:26 No.4701701 >You get into an Uber >see this >a small piece of duct tape with a poorly drawn U covering the sign falls >it's reads Jewber >the doors lock >what do

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Average Discord Server | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 118 KB PNG 04/04/18(Wed)10:22:47 No.44397315 >join trap discord group >they ask me for a picture of me dressed up in order to join (showing face) >s--- is like a cult, everyone worships some n----- called Reiko >turns out they've doxxed me and have all my info >they're blackmailing me with the pic, saying that I dont take HRT they will mail it to my family and friends >they've done this s--- to numerous other people what the f--- do i do now?
: Anonymous 118 KB PNG 04/04/18(Wed)10:22:47 No.44397315 >join trap discord group >they ask me for a picture of me dressed up in order to join (showing face) >s--- is like a cult, everyone worships some n----- called Reiko >turns out they've doxxed me and have all my info >they're blackmailing me with the pic, saying that I dont take HRT they will mail it to my family and friends >they've done this s--- to numerous other people what the f--- do i do now?

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Anon is geigh | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 70 KB JPG 06/04/24(Tue)10:44:21 No.919369993 >be me >Talking with a woman and her friend at a party >She gets angry at me for saying "you guys" >I say it's a gender neutral term in this context and she's reading into things a bit too much >"Oh yeah? How many dudes have you f-----?" >"20" >Grindr notification goes off > "About to be 21"
Anonymous 70 KB JPG 06/04/24(Tue)10:44:21 No.919369993 >be me >Talking with a woman and her friend at a party >She gets angry at me for saying "you guys" >I say it's a gender neutral term in this context and she's reading into things a bit too much >"Oh yeah? How many dudes have you f-----?" >"20" >Grindr notification goes off > "About to be 21"

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Anon thinks about nukular | /r/Greentext

File: nukular.png (483 KB, 645x429) Anonymous 06/03/24(Mon)18:29:51 No.77710439 >atom randomly falls apart, losing bits and pieces >bits and pieces bounce around >creates electricity??? >>77710474 >>77710491 >>77710517 >>77710573
File: nukular.png (483 KB, 645x429) Anonymous 06/03/24(Mon)18:29:51 No.77710439 >atom randomly falls apart, losing bits and pieces >bits and pieces bounce around >creates electricity??? >>77710474 >>77710491 >>77710517 >>77710573

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