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Anon should get a little help | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/20/18(Fri)14:39:13 No.44822902 >out with my friend >sitting on a bench >be talking >people throwing us weird glances >think it's because of the obscene topics 283 KB PNG >dont care >keep talking >suddenly one old dude comes up to me >"Excuse me, Sir, but who are you talking to" I wish I was kidding. I've already made an appointment with a psychiatrist. 8 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 04/20/18(Fri)14:39:13 No.44822902 >out with my friend >sitting on a bench >be talking >people throwing us weird glances >think it's because of the obscene topics 283 KB PNG >dont care >keep talking >suddenly one old dude comes up to me >"Excuse me, Sir, but who are you talking to" I wish I was kidding. I've already made an appointment with a psychiatrist. 8 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon has Lady troubles | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)08:33:50 No.875542711 >be me >train ever since I was a child to be as masculine as I can be and to be strong af >ffw to now >l am most masculine guy in my 52 KB JPG instituition >Beaten up strongest kid because he attacked me >Basically strongest boy in school and everyone knows it >Pretty decent looking and muscular build >girls start liking BTS f------ >basically half femboys and oestrogen fueled f---- >No girl shows interest in me because im masculine mfw everyone stopped liking masculine guys and I haven't ever had a gf
: Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)08:33:50 No.875542711 >be me >train ever since I was a child to be as masculine as I can be and to be strong af >ffw to now >l am most masculine guy in my 52 KB JPG instituition >Beaten up strongest kid because he attacked me >Basically strongest boy in school and everyone knows it >Pretty decent looking and muscular build >girls start liking BTS f------ >basically half femboys and oestrogen fueled f---- >No girl shows interest in me because im masculine mfw everyone stopped liking masculine guys and I haven't ever had a gf

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Anon get's Roasted | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/26/18(Sat)14:25:55 No.46176679 >>46178212 >>48178990 >>46179146 >>48181045 >>46176363 You look like a failed clone of Zuckerberg that got too powerful
Anonymous 05/26/18(Sat)14:25:55 No.46176679 >>46178212 >>48178990 >>46179146 >>48181045 >>46176363 You look like a failed clone of Zuckerberg that got too powerful

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Anon likes shopping carts | /r/Greentext

147191610 9/8/18 3:29 PM Stealing and melting down shopping carts I've fantasized about stealing and melting down shopping carts from national brand stores since I was about 4 years old. 183 KB It literally gives me so much satisfaction, both spiritually and sexually, the thought of melting down and having a solid block of shopping cart. I just got a job as a cart pusher for Walmart is there any way I could actually get away with this without getting in trouble? Pic related is an ugly ass shopping cart but the ones at Walmart literally make me rock solid just LOOKING at. I can't believe l'm going to be getting paid good money to TOUCH them. >these are my skills idk if they're applicable: really good at physics, strong asf, 5'8, willing to do anything to melt down a cart 4 replies
147191610 9/8/18 3:29 PM Stealing and melting down shopping carts I've fantasized about stealing and melting down shopping carts from national brand stores since I was about 4 years old. 183 KB It literally gives me so much satisfaction, both spiritually and sexually, the thought of melting down and having a solid block of shopping cart. I just got a job as a cart pusher for Walmart is there any way I could actually get away with this without getting in trouble? Pic related is an ugly ass shopping cart but the ones at Walmart literally make me rock solid just LOOKING at. I can't believe l'm going to be getting paid good money to TOUCH them. >these are my skills idk if they're applicable: really good at physics, strong asf, 5'8, willing to do anything to melt down a cart 4 replies

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Anon is not a virgin anymore | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1 hour ago 773650902 >be me, man >identify as a female because gender is a social construct >j------- >once I'm done, identify as male again >got jerked off by a gril >mfw got a h------ See you later virgins 4 REPLIES
Anonymous 1 hour ago 773650902 >be me, man >identify as a female because gender is a social construct >j------- >once I'm done, identify as male again >got jerked off by a gril >mfw got a h------ See you later virgins 4 REPLIES

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Anon is thankful to mystery | /r/Greentext

I Anonymous 01/27/21(Wed)17:15:19 No.845914110 >taking massive s--- >coming out sideways >hurts like helI >feel and hear anus tearing >losing lots of blood >pass out from blood loss >wake up around 15 minutes later 52 KB PNG >go to wipe >cleanwipe.doc >no blood, no s--- >feel around a------. >someone sewn up my gaping wound and cleaned it >blood and s--- still in toilet Thank you mystery a------ mender, i am forever in your debt
I Anonymous 01/27/21(Wed)17:15:19 No.845914110 >taking massive s--- >coming out sideways >hurts like helI >feel and hear anus tearing >losing lots of blood >pass out from blood loss >wake up around 15 minutes later 52 KB PNG >go to wipe >cleanwipe.doc >no blood, no s--- >feel around a------. >someone sewn up my gaping wound and cleaned it >blood and s--- still in toilet Thank you mystery a------ mender, i am forever in your debt

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Anon fails his exams | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/29/19(Fri)19:34:39 No.796195940 >be me, 16 >no major life ambitions >getting mediocre grades at best >hear rumour that if a person dies during exam season everyone gets their predicted grades >autisminitiated.jpeg >have depressed virgin friend 42 KB JPG >think i'm an edgelord >be the devil in his ear for the next few weeks >ffw a month >exam season >see friend across hall >give him the signal >itsgotime.png >mfw he actually brought a gun to the exam >mfw he offs himself in the middle of the hall >mfw everyone actually gets their predicted grades >mfw my predicted grades aren't even that good
: Anonymous 03/29/19(Fri)19:34:39 No.796195940 >be me, 16 >no major life ambitions >getting mediocre grades at best >hear rumour that if a person dies during exam season everyone gets their predicted grades >autisminitiated.jpeg >have depressed virgin friend 42 KB JPG >think i'm an edgelord >be the devil in his ear for the next few weeks >ffw a month >exam season >see friend across hall >give him the signal >itsgotime.png >mfw he actually brought a gun to the exam >mfw he offs himself in the middle of the hall >mfw everyone actually gets their predicted grades >mfw my predicted grades aren't even that good

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Anon debunks government drones | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)00:09:18 No.875500782 >spreads "wings" >??? >flies do you people seriously still fall for this 708 KB PNG
: Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)00:09:18 No.875500782 >spreads "wings" >??? >flies do you people seriously still fall for this 708 KB PNG

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OP felt her hand | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/17/19(Sun)02:15:03 No.111539890 >go to cinema alone >qt girl working at concession counter >1 popcorn and coke pls >"that'll be $14.95" >hand her $15 >she hands me back a nickel >during the transfer, I feel the skin 46 KB JPG of her soft hand graze my hand >oh god >feel a brief spark of life in me >it's quickly fleeting >spend rest of day horribly depressed what is wrong with me
: Anonymous 03/17/19(Sun)02:15:03 No.111539890 >go to cinema alone >qt girl working at concession counter >1 popcorn and coke pls >"that'll be $14.95" >hand her $15 >she hands me back a nickel >during the transfer, I feel the skin 46 KB JPG of her soft hand graze my hand >oh god >feel a brief spark of life in me >it's quickly fleeting >spend rest of day horribly depressed what is wrong with me

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Anon Makes Wellington | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/17/20(Fri)20:30:25 No.832311983 File: 1403117787610.gif (331 KB, 280x193) >>832310984 (OP). >be me, 21, unemployed >End up getting a job at some summer math camp >One of the kids in my group is some autist we'll call John >John's like 10 and doing high school level math >Barely talks, just solves math problems for 2 hours straight then gets picked up by his aunt to go home >Aunt is 10/10 milf with smoking hot body >One day it's just me and him at the table >John doesn't need any help so I have nothing to do >Start thinking about what I should cook for dinner that evening >Always wanted to make beef wellington, but seems like a lot of work >Thoughts start to shift to John's aunt >Imagine myself rawdogging her from behind in my kitchen >Turn to John >He's looking at me, cold, blank expression >He says, "You should make the beef wellington" >Goes back to his math problems >MFW
Anonymous 07/17/20(Fri)20:30:25 No.832311983 File: 1403117787610.gif (331 KB, 280x193) >>832310984 (OP). >be me, 21, unemployed >End up getting a job at some summer math camp >One of the kids in my group is some autist we'll call John >John's like 10 and doing high school level math >Barely talks, just solves math problems for 2 hours straight then gets picked up by his aunt to go home >Aunt is 10/10 milf with smoking hot body >One day it's just me and him at the table >John doesn't need any help so I have nothing to do >Start thinking about what I should cook for dinner that evening >Always wanted to make beef wellington, but seems like a lot of work >Thoughts start to shift to John's aunt >Imagine myself rawdogging her from behind in my kitchen >Turn to John >He's looking at me, cold, blank expression >He says, "You should make the beef wellington" >Goes back to his math problems >MFW

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Anon is a cat | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/15/19(Tue)00:33:45 No.790001213 >Be me >Kitty >Have best humans ever! >Always good wet food! >So many pets and cuddles! >Want do nice thing for them >But what? 21 KB JPG >Am only kitty >What can do? >Remember stories of ancestors >Would kill mice, make humans very happy! >Can do that easy! >Go to spooky basement >Hunt dirty mice, eat raw! >Feel like cave kitty! >meowunga-bunga! >But humans not know nice thing I do! >This time, not eat mouse >Bring to big comfy sofa >Wait for pets and hugs >Human female screams >Not happy! >Says am bad kitty! :( >What go wrong? >lightbulb.jpg >Now I gets! Am so clever! >Humans mad because kill mouse! >Humans must like mouse! >Find mouse, but am gentle >Mouse is of cute >Will be friends with mouse and humans! >Bring to humans, they sleep >Jump onto bed and wake them >Show them new mouse friend! >Humans really mad! >Now have to sleep in garage :( >Humans make no sense!
: Anonymous 01/15/19(Tue)00:33:45 No.790001213 >Be me >Kitty >Have best humans ever! >Always good wet food! >So many pets and cuddles! >Want do nice thing for them >But what? 21 KB JPG >Am only kitty >What can do? >Remember stories of ancestors >Would kill mice, make humans very happy! >Can do that easy! >Go to spooky basement >Hunt dirty mice, eat raw! >Feel like cave kitty! >meowunga-bunga! >But humans not know nice thing I do! >This time, not eat mouse >Bring to big comfy sofa >Wait for pets and hugs >Human female screams >Not happy! >Says am bad kitty! :( >What go wrong? >lightbulb.jpg >Now I gets! Am so clever! >Humans mad because kill mouse! >Humans must like mouse! >Find mouse, but am gentle >Mouse is of cute >Will be friends with mouse and humans! >Bring to humans, they sleep >Jump onto bed and wake them >Show them new mouse friend! >Humans really mad! >Now have to sleep in garage :( >Humans make no sense!

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Anon wants to talk about politics | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/08/21(Mon)00:53:13 No.849071227 >be me >l wanna talk about some politics >go to /pol/ >"Jewish people and minorities are the cause of 126 KB PNG the worlds issues." >w--.jpg >go to twitter >"all white people are inherently racist and homophobic." >w-- that's not true >go to reddit >"communism has never failed" >have you people taken a single history class?? >go to facebook >"if I see another sheep wearing a mask I'm going to gun them down" >huh??? What happened to normal political views?
: Anonymous 03/08/21(Mon)00:53:13 No.849071227 >be me >l wanna talk about some politics >go to /pol/ >"Jewish people and minorities are the cause of 126 KB PNG the worlds issues." >w--.jpg >go to twitter >"all white people are inherently racist and homophobic." >w-- that's not true >go to reddit >"communism has never failed" >have you people taken a single history class?? >go to facebook >"if I see another sheep wearing a mask I'm going to gun them down" >huh??? What happened to normal political views?

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Anon’s GF does a lil bit of trolling | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/06/21(Sun)21:27:47 No.64033474 >in bed with gf >she wants my attention >decides upon the best course of action >rams her fingers up my butthole >jesusfuckwoman >turn to her and ask w-- shes doing >"just a little bit of trolling" 111 KB JPG >mfw And i thought i was autistic.
: Anonymous 06/06/21(Sun)21:27:47 No.64033474 >in bed with gf >she wants my attention >decides upon the best course of action >rams her fingers up my butthole >jesusfuckwoman >turn to her and ask w-- shes doing >"just a little bit of trolling" 111 KB JPG >mfw And i thought i was autistic.

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Anon gives birth day pressent | /r/Greentext

04/29/13(Mon)12:45 No. 187606013 Anonymous File: (3 KB, 126x126, 1271706413287.jpg) >>187605330 >Some friends are having a birthday for one of their younger brothers >They have a gamecube permanently turned on with pretty much everything unlocked in Smash Bros but no memory card (they were a bit poor) >l got him a memory card for his present >When no one is watching, save the Smash data >Little later, nonchalantly ask what's up with the gamecube, my hand is on the power button >Friend and his little brothers freak out as I turn it off >Smallest one is crying >"just kidding, happy birthday!" >Plug in the memory card and turn it back on >Save file corrupted Replies : >>187606189 >>187606194 >>187606297 >>187606380 >>187606458 >>187606547 >>187606763 >> 187607212 >>187609156 >>187609419 >>187609460
04/29/13(Mon)12:45 No. 187606013 Anonymous File: (3 KB, 126x126, 1271706413287.jpg) >>187605330 >Some friends are having a birthday for one of their younger brothers >They have a gamecube permanently turned on with pretty much everything unlocked in Smash Bros but no memory card (they were a bit poor) >l got him a memory card for his present >When no one is watching, save the Smash data >Little later, nonchalantly ask what's up with the gamecube, my hand is on the power button >Friend and his little brothers freak out as I turn it off >Smallest one is crying >"just kidding, happy birthday!" >Plug in the memory card and turn it back on >Save file corrupted Replies : >>187606189 >>187606194 >>187606297 >>187606380 >>187606458 >>187606547 >>187606763 >> 187607212 >>187609156 >>187609419 >>187609460

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Anon likes zero | /r/Greentext

greentext @rgreentext 12h anon watches twitch bit.ly/2F2RFHS : Anonymous 01/01/19(Tue)23:42:08 No.788859723 >be me >depressed because dad is cheating on mom >mom mad all the time >friends feel distant >watch some smash bros on twitch 338 KB PNG >find zero >he makes me laugh and is really good >he makes me happy >thanks zero 27 t7 224 2.8K Tempo ZeRo @zerowondering Follow Replying to @rgreentext Much love anon. Hope it gets better and I'm sorry you are going through that. 7:06 AM - 2 Jan 2019 73 Retweets 1,678 Likes 2 27 73 O 1.7K
greentext @rgreentext 12h anon watches twitch bit.ly/2F2RFHS : Anonymous 01/01/19(Tue)23:42:08 No.788859723 >be me >depressed because dad is cheating on mom >mom mad all the time >friends feel distant >watch some smash bros on twitch 338 KB PNG >find zero >he makes me laugh and is really good >he makes me happy >thanks zero 27 t7 224 2.8K Tempo ZeRo @zerowondering Follow Replying to @rgreentext Much love anon. Hope it gets better and I'm sorry you are going through that. 7:06 AM - 2 Jan 2019 73 Retweets 1,678 Likes 2 27 73 O 1.7K

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4chan and the void | /r/Greentext

File: Screenshot_20220402-00560(...).jpg (671 KB, 1080x966) RIP MIUEA BFIUENI CEGO CHYRCHESB mm toki pona lidi R/PARAHUMANS READ PRLE H CID進T! BIGSHOTHE GEAD ORMIR (LE RISKOF RATREES IENS HRTCHDOMINION.ORO GECS Patt ASSENAL FC. H2P13-9 TSP UD MRSE HOLE FOXHOLE NKI RUWATERLO CIONE EC MOFUR HERO FHC BABYMETAL O Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)12:00:50 No.875525837 DRIGI RUSTY! BEAR DDWN SEXS >>875526006 >>875526262 >Trans Flag expands, takes territory from other art and flags with ease >Trans flag makes peace with neighbours. >USA attacks trans flag, Utterly fails. >USA now crumbling infront of the might of the Trans flag >All 4chin Flase flag operations from neighbours fail miserably, with trans securing themselves even more than before >Even the void fails to take the trans flag, being the only one to successfully stand up to them. >In utter chaos around them, the trans flag is the only one standing high and strong perfectly Just give up Anon Kneel before the might of the trans flag you pathetic frog
File: Screenshot_20220402-00560(...).jpg (671 KB, 1080x966) RIP MIUEA BFIUENI CEGO CHYRCHESB mm toki pona lidi R/PARAHUMANS READ PRLE H CID進T! BIGSHOTHE GEAD ORMIR (LE RISKOF RATREES IENS HRTCHDOMINION.ORO GECS Patt ASSENAL FC. H2P13-9 TSP UD MRSE HOLE FOXHOLE NKI RUWATERLO CIONE EC MOFUR HERO FHC BABYMETAL O Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)12:00:50 No.875525837 DRIGI RUSTY! BEAR DDWN SEXS >>875526006 >>875526262 >Trans Flag expands, takes territory from other art and flags with ease >Trans flag makes peace with neighbours. >USA attacks trans flag, Utterly fails. >USA now crumbling infront of the might of the Trans flag >All 4chin Flase flag operations from neighbours fail miserably, with trans securing themselves even more than before >Even the void fails to take the trans flag, being the only one to successfully stand up to them. >In utter chaos around them, the trans flag is the only one standing high and strong perfectly Just give up Anon Kneel before the might of the trans flag you pathetic frog

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Anon fights racism | /r/Greentext

Board (k/ - Weapons Settings Home :Anonymous 01/06/18(Sat)21:16:26 No.36405060 >>36404927 (OP) # >be me >walking home late night in a urban area >cutting through an alley to get home quicker, it's cold. >as I round the corner I hear a commotion. >n----- is beating on and pulling his ladyfriends hair and cursing at her while she sobs and 71 KB JPG scratches at him. >"Hey Stop!" > he replies "you best get the f--- outta here whyte boi." >l unholster my carry gun, keeping it pointed down. >"You're doing it all wrong nignon! This is how you show her who's boss." >pistol whip the s--- outta his qt3.14 nigress. >hand him the pistol. >"Now you try it nignon." >he pistol whips the s--- outta her too. >her fight dies down and she's just on the ground sobbing. >"dayum whyte boi thanks." >take my gun, hoister it and proceed on my way. >l made a difference today. >I reached across racial lines to unpatronizingly help out a kfc-american Feelsgoodman
Board (k/ - Weapons Settings Home :Anonymous 01/06/18(Sat)21:16:26 No.36405060 >>36404927 (OP) # >be me >walking home late night in a urban area >cutting through an alley to get home quicker, it's cold. >as I round the corner I hear a commotion. >n----- is beating on and pulling his ladyfriends hair and cursing at her while she sobs and 71 KB JPG scratches at him. >"Hey Stop!" > he replies "you best get the f--- outta here whyte boi." >l unholster my carry gun, keeping it pointed down. >"You're doing it all wrong nignon! This is how you show her who's boss." >pistol whip the s--- outta his qt3.14 nigress. >hand him the pistol. >"Now you try it nignon." >he pistol whips the s--- outta her too. >her fight dies down and she's just on the ground sobbing. >"dayum whyte boi thanks." >take my gun, hoister it and proceed on my way. >l made a difference today. >I reached across racial lines to unpatronizingly help out a kfc-american Feelsgoodman

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anon feels uneasy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/31/21(Wed)17:56:24 No.63001106 >Feel like I should be doing something >Don't know what >Vague sense of uneasiness that I'm not doing it 59 KB JPG View Thread
: Anonymous 03/31/21(Wed)17:56:24 No.63001106 >Feel like I should be doing something >Don't know what >Vague sense of uneasiness that I'm not doing it 59 KB JPG View Thread

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anon works on a ship | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/04/18(Tue)11:05:08 No.779004157 >be me >manual labour f-- on a cargo ship in the atlantic >we make a detour to check out a shipwreck on an island >inside its cargo hold we find 29 KB JPG thousands of female dwarves >wat >romantic british coworker gets too close >one of them jumps on his face and clamps her p---- on his mouth >okay.png >takes 4 of us and a f------ crowbar to prize her off >get the f--- out of there >back on the ship, set sail again >having lunch with coworkers >british f-- starts to have a seizure >f------ baby bursts out of his chest and runs off >spend 3 hours cleaning up the blood and crumpets >few days later a fully grown dwarf is running around r----- people >it's my shift to go and hunt the r--- dwarf >carry a flamethrower into a ventilation shaft >turn my motion tracker on >it starts beeping I don't get paid enough for this s---
: Anonymous 09/04/18(Tue)11:05:08 No.779004157 >be me >manual labour f-- on a cargo ship in the atlantic >we make a detour to check out a shipwreck on an island >inside its cargo hold we find 29 KB JPG thousands of female dwarves >wat >romantic british coworker gets too close >one of them jumps on his face and clamps her p---- on his mouth >okay.png >takes 4 of us and a f------ crowbar to prize her off >get the f--- out of there >back on the ship, set sail again >having lunch with coworkers >british f-- starts to have a seizure >f------ baby bursts out of his chest and runs off >spend 3 hours cleaning up the blood and crumpets >few days later a fully grown dwarf is running around r----- people >it's my shift to go and hunt the r--- dwarf >carry a flamethrower into a ventilation shaft >turn my motion tracker on >it starts beeping I don't get paid enough for this s---

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War is hell | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/01/22(Fri)22:39:03 No.875521463 >be Russian >have a son that turns 18 >you're too poor to bribe the draft board, so your son ends up getting conscripted into the army >he goes away for what's supposed to be a year 113 KB JPG >you count down the days until he's supposed to return >one day he calls you and tells you that he's getting sent to Belarus for training exercises. you think nothing of it >he calls you everyday, each time telling you that they're getting closer and closer to the Ukrainian border >one day, the calls stop >the next day, the special military operation begins >you go weeks without hearing anything from your son or anyone in the military >one day you brace yourself and go on a website dedicated to identifying dead and captured Russians >on the front page, you see the rotting, eyeless corpse of your son
: Anonymous 04/01/22(Fri)22:39:03 No.875521463 >be Russian >have a son that turns 18 >you're too poor to bribe the draft board, so your son ends up getting conscripted into the army >he goes away for what's supposed to be a year 113 KB JPG >you count down the days until he's supposed to return >one day he calls you and tells you that he's getting sent to Belarus for training exercises. you think nothing of it >he calls you everyday, each time telling you that they're getting closer and closer to the Ukrainian border >one day, the calls stop >the next day, the special military operation begins >you go weeks without hearing anything from your son or anyone in the military >one day you brace yourself and go on a website dedicated to identifying dead and captured Russians >on the front page, you see the rotting, eyeless corpse of your son

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