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: Anonymous 01/15/19(Tue)00:33:45 No.790001213 >Be me >Kitty >Have best humans ever! >Always good wet food! >So many pets and cuddles! >Want do nice thing for them >But what? 21 KB JPG >Am only kitty >What can do? >Remember stories of ancestors >Would kill mice, make humans very happy! >Can do that easy! >Go to spooky basement >Hunt dirty mice, eat raw! >Feel like cave kitty! >meowunga-bunga! >But humans not know nice thing I do! >This time, not eat mouse >Bring to big comfy sofa >Wait for pets and hugs >Human female screams >Not happy! >Says am bad kitty! :( >What go wrong? >lightbulb.jpg >Now I gets! Am so clever! >Humans mad because kill mouse! >Humans must like mouse! >Find mouse, but am gentle >Mouse is of cute >Will be friends with mouse and humans! >Bring to humans, they sleep >Jump onto bed and wake them >Show them new mouse friend! >Humans really mad! >Now have to sleep in garage :( >Humans make no sense!

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon wants to talk about politics | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/08/21(Mon)00:53:13 No.849071227 >be me >l wanna talk about some politics >go to /pol/ >"Jewish people and minorities are the cause of 126 KB PNG the worlds issues." >w--.jpg >go to twitter >"all white people are inherently racist and homophobic." >w-- that's not true >go to reddit >"communism has never failed" >have you people taken a single history class?? >go to facebook >"if I see another sheep wearing a mask I'm going to gun them down" >huh??? What happened to normal political views?

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Anon’s GF does a lil bit of trolling | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/06/21(Sun)21:27:47 No.64033474 >in bed with gf >she wants my attention >decides upon the best course of action >rams her fingers up my butthole >jesusfuckwoman >turn to her and ask w-- shes doing >"just a little bit of trolling" 111 KB JPG >mfw And i thought i was autistic.

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Anon gives birth day pressent | /r/Greentext

04/29/13(Mon)12:45 No. 187606013 Anonymous File: (3 KB, 126x126, 1271706413287.jpg) >>187605330 >Some friends are having a birthday for one of their younger brothers >They have a gamecube permanently turned on with pretty much everything unlocked in Smash Bros but no memory card (they were a bit poor) >l got him a memory card for his present >When no one is watching, save the Smash data >Little later, nonchalantly ask what's up with the gamecube, my hand is on the power button >Friend and his little brothers freak out as I turn it off >Smallest one is crying >"just kidding, happy birthday!" >Plug in the memory card and turn it back on >Save file corrupted Replies : >>187606189 >>187606194 >>187606297 >>187606380 >>187606458 >>187606547 >>187606763 >> 187607212 >>187609156 >>187609419 >>187609460

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Anon likes zero | /r/Greentext

greentext @rgreentext 12h anon watches twitch bit.ly/2F2RFHS : Anonymous 01/01/19(Tue)23:42:08 No.788859723 >be me >depressed because dad is cheating on mom >mom mad all the time >friends feel distant >watch some smash bros on twitch 338 KB PNG >find zero >he makes me laugh and is really good >he makes me happy >thanks zero 27 t7 224 2.8K Tempo ZeRo @zerowondering Follow Replying to @rgreentext Much love anon. Hope it gets better and I'm sorry you are going through that. 7:06 AM - 2 Jan 2019 73 Retweets 1,678 Likes 2 27 73 O 1.7K

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4chan and the void | /r/Greentext

File: Screenshot_20220402-00560(...).jpg (671 KB, 1080x966) RIP MIUEA BFIUENI CEGO CHYRCHESB mm toki pona lidi R/PARAHUMANS READ PRLE H CID進T! BIGSHOTHE GEAD ORMIR (LE RISKOF RATREES IENS HRTCHDOMINION.ORO GECS Patt ASSENAL FC. H2P13-9 TSP UD MRSE HOLE FOXHOLE NKI RUWATERLO CIONE EC MOFUR HERO FHC BABYMETAL O Anonymous 04/02/22(Sat)12:00:50 No.875525837 DRIGI RUSTY! BEAR DDWN SEXS >>875526006 >>875526262 >Trans Flag expands, takes territory from other art and flags with ease >Trans flag makes peace with neighbours. >USA attacks trans flag, Utterly fails. >USA now crumbling infront of the might of the Trans flag >All 4chin Flase flag operations from neighbours fail miserably, with trans securing themselves even more than before >Even the void fails to take the trans flag, being the only one to successfully stand up to them. >In utter chaos around them, the trans flag is the only one standing high and strong perfectly Just give up Anon Kneel before the might of the trans flag you pathetic frog

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Anon fights racism | /r/Greentext

Board (k/ - Weapons Settings Home :Anonymous 01/06/18(Sat)21:16:26 No.36405060 >>36404927 (OP) # >be me >walking home late night in a urban area >cutting through an alley to get home quicker, it's cold. >as I round the corner I hear a commotion. >n----- is beating on and pulling his ladyfriends hair and cursing at her while she sobs and 71 KB JPG scratches at him. >"Hey Stop!" > he replies "you best get the f--- outta here whyte boi." >l unholster my carry gun, keeping it pointed down. >"You're doing it all wrong nignon! This is how you show her who's boss." >pistol whip the s--- outta his qt3.14 nigress. >hand him the pistol. >"Now you try it nignon." >he pistol whips the s--- outta her too. >her fight dies down and she's just on the ground sobbing. >"dayum whyte boi thanks." >take my gun, hoister it and proceed on my way. >l made a difference today. >I reached across racial lines to unpatronizingly help out a kfc-american Feelsgoodman

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anon feels uneasy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/31/21(Wed)17:56:24 No.63001106 >Feel like I should be doing something >Don't know what >Vague sense of uneasiness that I'm not doing it 59 KB JPG View Thread

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anon works on a ship | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/04/18(Tue)11:05:08 No.779004157 >be me >manual labour f-- on a cargo ship in the atlantic >we make a detour to check out a shipwreck on an island >inside its cargo hold we find 29 KB JPG thousands of female dwarves >wat >romantic british coworker gets too close >one of them jumps on his face and clamps her p---- on his mouth >okay.png >takes 4 of us and a f------ crowbar to prize her off >get the f--- out of there >back on the ship, set sail again >having lunch with coworkers >british f-- starts to have a seizure >f------ baby bursts out of his chest and runs off >spend 3 hours cleaning up the blood and crumpets >few days later a fully grown dwarf is running around r----- people >it's my shift to go and hunt the r--- dwarf >carry a flamethrower into a ventilation shaft >turn my motion tracker on >it starts beeping I don't get paid enough for this s---

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War is hell | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/01/22(Fri)22:39:03 No.875521463 >be Russian >have a son that turns 18 >you're too poor to bribe the draft board, so your son ends up getting conscripted into the army >he goes away for what's supposed to be a year 113 KB JPG >you count down the days until he's supposed to return >one day he calls you and tells you that he's getting sent to Belarus for training exercises. you think nothing of it >he calls you everyday, each time telling you that they're getting closer and closer to the Ukrainian border >one day, the calls stop >the next day, the special military operation begins >you go weeks without hearing anything from your son or anyone in the military >one day you brace yourself and go on a website dedicated to identifying dead and captured Russians >on the front page, you see the rotting, eyeless corpse of your son

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Some men just want to watch the world burn | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Movie idea 07/29/21(Thu)13:47:06 No.154240634 >aliens come to earth >tell humanity that it must choose one of its races to be eliminated before they share their knowledge and tech >a worldwide anonymous poll is held where you just have to think of which race to get rid of (none is 20 KB JPG an option as well) >plot twist: as the poll ends everyone who voted for a certain race gets a corresponding symbol tattooed on their face >aliens instantly leave without purging anyone or saying a word >chaos ensues

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Anon fosters a safe workplace environment | /r/Greentext

66f-1.jpg 33 KB JPG >spam click through a 15 minute OSHA web training for work >Spend 20 minutes guessing the correct answers on the 10 question quiz until you get 8 right

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Alieanon gets hit by a Tesla | /r/Greentext

>be me >traveling to Earth to annihilate the human race >see earth >fire up the death ray >too late 19 KB JPG >get hit by a f------ tesla roadster traveling at f------ mach speed playing david bowie >completely destroys my ship and kills my entire crew >mfw

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Greentext Stories - Anon is a cat | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

: Anonymous 01/15/19(Tue)00:33:45 No.790001213 >Be me >Kitty >Have best humans ever! >Always good wet food! >So many pets and cuddles! >Want do nice thing for them >But what? 21 KB JPG >Am only kitty >What can do? >Remember stories of ancestors >Would kill mice, make humans very happy! >Can do that easy! >Go to spooky basement >Hunt dirty mice, eat raw! >Feel like cave kitty! >meowunga-bunga! >But humans not know nice thing I do! >This time, not eat mouse >Bring to big comfy sofa >Wait for pets and hugs >Human female screams >Not happy! >Says am bad kitty! :( >What go wrong? >lightbulb.jpg >Now I gets! Am so clever! >Humans mad because kill mouse! >Humans must like mouse! >Find mouse, but am gentle >Mouse is of cute >Will be friends with mouse and humans! >Bring to humans, they sleep >Jump onto bed and wake them >Show them new mouse friend! >Humans really mad! >Now have to sleep in garage :( >Humans make no sense!

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