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Anon has constipation | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/23/17(Sat)23:41:57 No.88111436 - >>88111638 >>88111677 terrorpepe.jpg (29 KB, 600x600) google yandex iqdb wait >watching movie with family >sex scene imminent >"b-bathroom" >get up and run to bathroom, lock door >after a minute, worry that they might be listening >slowly dump bottle of mouthwash into toilet so it sounds like i'm peeing >realize that i've been in the bathroom too long to just be peeing >start loudly making grunting noises >drop the bar of soap into toilet and let out a sigh of relief >flush, soap clogs the toilet >if i ask for the plunger, they might see that it's mom's good soap clogging it >reach in with my hands and manage to break up the soap bar >toilet flushes >realize i can't wash my hands without soap >wipe them all over my shirt, now it looks like i've been sweating >i think they'll buy it >go back to sit down with family >"jesus anon, are you okay?" >"y-yeah, haha" >"good. here, we paused the movie when you got up"
Anonymous 09/23/17(Sat)23:41:57 No.88111436 - >>88111638 >>88111677 terrorpepe.jpg (29 KB, 600x600) google yandex iqdb wait >watching movie with family >sex scene imminent >"b-bathroom" >get up and run to bathroom, lock door >after a minute, worry that they might be listening >slowly dump bottle of mouthwash into toilet so it sounds like i'm peeing >realize that i've been in the bathroom too long to just be peeing >start loudly making grunting noises >drop the bar of soap into toilet and let out a sigh of relief >flush, soap clogs the toilet >if i ask for the plunger, they might see that it's mom's good soap clogging it >reach in with my hands and manage to break up the soap bar >toilet flushes >realize i can't wash my hands without soap >wipe them all over my shirt, now it looks like i've been sweating >i think they'll buy it >go back to sit down with family >"jesus anon, are you okay?" >"y-yeah, haha" >"good. here, we paused the movie when you got up"

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Anon loses his virginity | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/24/18(Sat)21:58:53 No.785666165 >be me >find out the inside of your cheek is made of the same tissue as a vagina >lick it >technically licking a vagina 30 KB JPG >later virgins
: Anonymous 11/24/18(Sat)21:58:53 No.785666165 >be me >find out the inside of your cheek is made of the same tissue as a vagina >lick it >technically licking a vagina 30 KB JPG >later virgins

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Anon and his mysterious brother | /r/Greentext

8:00 87% >be me >have an older brother who was always the black sheep of the family >didn't do well in school, always getting into trouble and s--- >still look up to him because he's my big bro >he barely manages to graduate high school and immediately leaves home after turning 18, none of us know where he went >it's a traumatic experience for me, almost like he's dead >manage to pull through it and get on with my life >fast forward a few years >going to university, studying linguistics >up late one night when I get a call from a number I don't recognize >"Hello?" >hear my brother's voice >"Hey man, uhh.." >he sounds drunk as s--- >"really quick, do the people in Brazil speak Spanish?" >"N-no, they speak Portuguese." >"He said it's Portuguese I f------ told you retards" >hear several angry, drunk voices arguing in the background >"Thanks bro" >he hangs up >try to call the number back but it goes straight to voicemail It's been almost 10 years since he left home and that was the only time l've spoken to him since then. I miss you bro
8:00 87% >be me >have an older brother who was always the black sheep of the family >didn't do well in school, always getting into trouble and s--- >still look up to him because he's my big bro >he barely manages to graduate high school and immediately leaves home after turning 18, none of us know where he went >it's a traumatic experience for me, almost like he's dead >manage to pull through it and get on with my life >fast forward a few years >going to university, studying linguistics >up late one night when I get a call from a number I don't recognize >"Hello?" >hear my brother's voice >"Hey man, uhh.." >he sounds drunk as s--- >"really quick, do the people in Brazil speak Spanish?" >"N-no, they speak Portuguese." >"He said it's Portuguese I f------ told you retards" >hear several angry, drunk voices arguing in the background >"Thanks bro" >he hangs up >try to call the number back but it goes straight to voicemail It's been almost 10 years since he left home and that was the only time l've spoken to him since then. I miss you bro

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Thank you Allah, very cool! | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/19(Sun)10:04:10 No.7512136 >be me >on airplane >3 muslims are sitting in the back >two of them get up and start walking to the front >as one passes me, he 120 KB JPG says "soon we will all see allah." >he gets to the front of the plane and starts reciting the koran >he ended up converting 12 people to islam thank you allah
: Anonymous 01/13/19(Sun)10:04:10 No.7512136 >be me >on airplane >3 muslims are sitting in the back >two of them get up and start walking to the front >as one passes me, he 120 KB JPG says "soon we will all see allah." >he gets to the front of the plane and starts reciting the koran >he ended up converting 12 people to islam thank you allah

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Anon thinks about humans | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous worst designs in biology 12/10/19(Tue)05:07:31 No.11214649 >physically weak >even the strongest specimens have only 1/10 the strength of a bear >"intelligent" >only about half of the population intelligent enough to make a difference 125 KB JPG >babies take 9 months to be born >and 15 years before they are useful >body too hot for semen to be produced >testicles need to be outside the body >put them in the warmest place possible why has humanity survived this long with such a retarded design?
: Anonymous worst designs in biology 12/10/19(Tue)05:07:31 No.11214649 >physically weak >even the strongest specimens have only 1/10 the strength of a bear >"intelligent" >only about half of the population intelligent enough to make a difference 125 KB JPG >babies take 9 months to be born >and 15 years before they are useful >body too hot for semen to be produced >testicles need to be outside the body >put them in the warmest place possible why has humanity survived this long with such a retarded design?

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Anon smokes weed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/16/22(Wed) 19:51:12 No.67808759 Post your most embarrassing or degrading confession >freshman year of college >invited to a party, more like dragged there 270 KB JPG >smoke weed with some people in one of my classes >better than trying to survive in the actual party >police show up because of a noise complaint and probably they said they saw drugs or whatever >we're in an upstairs bedroom >everyone starts climbing down through the window >l'm too much of a p---- and don't go >cops make it to the room and one of them comes in >oh no time to be arrested >sudden stroke of genius >maybe I can convince him >he tells me to turn around >I lift my jacket to show off my ass and tell him he's cute >he starts to cuff me and I reach for his crotch >he says "My job isn't worth your ugly, bony ass" and throws me on the ground and cuffs me
: Anonymous 03/16/22(Wed) 19:51:12 No.67808759 Post your most embarrassing or degrading confession >freshman year of college >invited to a party, more like dragged there 270 KB JPG >smoke weed with some people in one of my classes >better than trying to survive in the actual party >police show up because of a noise complaint and probably they said they saw drugs or whatever >we're in an upstairs bedroom >everyone starts climbing down through the window >l'm too much of a p---- and don't go >cops make it to the room and one of them comes in >oh no time to be arrested >sudden stroke of genius >maybe I can convince him >he tells me to turn around >I lift my jacket to show off my ass and tell him he's cute >he starts to cuff me and I reach for his crotch >he says "My job isn't worth your ugly, bony ass" and throws me on the ground and cuffs me

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anon can sing | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/16/22(Wed)14:49:06 No.67809995 sing.jpg 38 KB JPG >finally live alone >can sing without my mom making fun of me View Thread
: Anonymous 03/16/22(Wed)14:49:06 No.67809995 sing.jpg 38 KB JPG >finally live alone >can sing without my mom making fun of me View Thread

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Anon has a positive view on women | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 03/16/22(Wed)20:50:58 No.874520917 >>874521180 Women over 30 are worthless for even sex. Who agrees? Anonymous 03/16/22(Wed)20:56:00 No.874521027 >women over 30 are worthless for sex so are you
O Anonymous 03/16/22(Wed)20:50:58 No.874520917 >>874521180 Women over 30 are worthless for even sex. Who agrees? Anonymous 03/16/22(Wed)20:56:00 No.874521027 >women over 30 are worthless for sex so are you

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Anon doesn't know the secret method to keep a fart silent. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/30/19(Sat)19:16:10 No.796295617 >Be me >On long school bus trip >Stopped at Mcdonalds for food >Didn't use the bathroom >Be later >Bus ride is 6 hours and were not stopping >Really gotta fart >Can't because of the laws of public 58 KB JPG decency >Feel gas rush to my anus >Squeeze tight to keep it tamed >Gas goes back to intestines >Every time the gas returns I send it back >It's like fart tenis >Been playing fart tenis for nearly an hour >My colon decides to spike the serve >l don't return >Mfw I s--- my pants on the schoolbus
: Anonymous 03/30/19(Sat)19:16:10 No.796295617 >Be me >On long school bus trip >Stopped at Mcdonalds for food >Didn't use the bathroom >Be later >Bus ride is 6 hours and were not stopping >Really gotta fart >Can't because of the laws of public 58 KB JPG decency >Feel gas rush to my anus >Squeeze tight to keep it tamed >Gas goes back to intestines >Every time the gas returns I send it back >It's like fart tenis >Been playing fart tenis for nearly an hour >My colon decides to spike the serve >l don't return >Mfw I s--- my pants on the schoolbus

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Anon was outraged | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)18:36:55 No.153753695 1626497257478.jpg 217 KB JPG >wow you're so much bigger than my exes Literally turned 360 degrees and walked right out of the cinema : Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)18:46:21 No.153754047 If you turned 360 degrees you'd still be facing the cinema.
: Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)18:36:55 No.153753695 1626497257478.jpg 217 KB JPG >wow you're so much bigger than my exes Literally turned 360 degrees and walked right out of the cinema : Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)18:46:21 No.153754047 If you turned 360 degrees you'd still be facing the cinema.

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Anon wants to light beacons of Gondor (from Lord of the Rings) | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous The beacons are lit! 04/11/19(Thu)09:38:04 No.112735452 >Be peasant from Gondor >Live on mountain >See distant fire >Light wood pile >Epic music starts playing >20 years on mountain worth it for this moment 7 KB JPG
: Anonymous The beacons are lit! 04/11/19(Thu)09:38:04 No.112735452 >Be peasant from Gondor >Live on mountain >See distant fire >Light wood pile >Epic music starts playing >20 years on mountain worth it for this moment 7 KB JPG

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Feels like up to me | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous BLOG 08/21/21(Sat)01:11:08 No.65069298 >HS dropout spent 4 years in the military jerking off on artillery (13B gang) >Now Im 27 work in a dairy spray drying facility (I operate some machine that processes dairy tanker trucks) >27/hour, 5-10 hours OT/ week >I know its not a lot compared to white collar work but I feel pretty comfortable >Start dating a girl with a masters degree in something 941 KB JPG computer related >no Idea what she does, but its something with software at some cool startup >always feel intimidated by the class difference between us >pick her up at her apartment and its a really expensive complex in Burlington VT(way overpriced metro area) >feeling really insecure about looking dumb and poor and she actually seems like a well educated, smart successful chick >try to avoid talking about "where did you go to school" or money type stuff >on our 4th date she mentions she's making payments on her car>her rent is literally 1800/month>she cant even afford to fix her car>shes making payments on her f------ car >mfw my car is paid off, paid in cash day 1 and I make enough to cover my monthly rent and most of my monthly expenses in a f------ week I never lol'd so hard in my life I thought I was poor but turns out she's the poor retard
: Anonymous BLOG 08/21/21(Sat)01:11:08 No.65069298 >HS dropout spent 4 years in the military jerking off on artillery (13B gang) >Now Im 27 work in a dairy spray drying facility (I operate some machine that processes dairy tanker trucks) >27/hour, 5-10 hours OT/ week >I know its not a lot compared to white collar work but I feel pretty comfortable >Start dating a girl with a masters degree in something 941 KB JPG computer related >no Idea what she does, but its something with software at some cool startup >always feel intimidated by the class difference between us >pick her up at her apartment and its a really expensive complex in Burlington VT(way overpriced metro area) >feeling really insecure about looking dumb and poor and she actually seems like a well educated, smart successful chick >try to avoid talking about "where did you go to school" or money type stuff >on our 4th date she mentions she's making payments on her car>her rent is literally 1800/month>she cant even afford to fix her car>shes making payments on her f------ car >mfw my car is paid off, paid in cash day 1 and I make enough to cover my monthly rent and most of my monthly expenses in a f------ week I never lol'd so hard in my life I thought I was poor but turns out she's the poor retard

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this is so fucking sad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/03/21(Wed)23:57:48 No.542988776 >dad watching me play vidya >woah anon how did you know how to do (insert incredibly obvious thing here) >repeat x100 are boomers literally f------ retarded? 47 KB PNG : Anonymous 02/04/21(Thu)00:05:52 No.542989510 stop being a f-----, your dad is trying to connect with you >>542990391 # >>542990521 # >>542990724 # >>542990810 # >>542991437 # >>542991550 # >>542991956 # >>542992068 # >>542992151 # >>542992412 # >>542992605 # >>542993739 # >>542994051 # >>542996095 # >>542997281 # >>542998590 # >>543000324 # >>543000453 # >>543000617 # >>543000746 # >>543000841 # >>543001083 # >>543001335 # >>543001389 # >>543004779 # >>543005792 # >>543006553 # >>543007247 # >>543007582 # >>543008745 # >>543008851 # >>543008910 # >>543010419 # >>543010828 # >>543010934 # >>543010961 # >>543011220 # >>543011526 # >>543012078 # >>543014701 # >>543015032 # >>543015721 # >>543015803 # >>543015917 # >>543019926 # >>543020443 # >>543022048 #
: Anonymous 02/03/21(Wed)23:57:48 No.542988776 >dad watching me play vidya >woah anon how did you know how to do (insert incredibly obvious thing here) >repeat x100 are boomers literally f------ retarded? 47 KB PNG : Anonymous 02/04/21(Thu)00:05:52 No.542989510 stop being a f-----, your dad is trying to connect with you >>542990391 # >>542990521 # >>542990724 # >>542990810 # >>542991437 # >>542991550 # >>542991956 # >>542992068 # >>542992151 # >>542992412 # >>542992605 # >>542993739 # >>542994051 # >>542996095 # >>542997281 # >>542998590 # >>543000324 # >>543000453 # >>543000617 # >>543000746 # >>543000841 # >>543001083 # >>543001335 # >>543001389 # >>543004779 # >>543005792 # >>543006553 # >>543007247 # >>543007582 # >>543008745 # >>543008851 # >>543008910 # >>543010419 # >>543010828 # >>543010934 # >>543010961 # >>543011220 # >>543011526 # >>543012078 # >>543014701 # >>543015032 # >>543015721 # >>543015803 # >>543015917 # >>543019926 # >>543020443 # >>543022048 #

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Killed the mood | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/21/21(Sat)12:07:44 No.65074316 >coworker says i never smile or talk >tell her i dont get happy when i see her so i dont smile >tell her she can talk to other рeople >she says that sounds like something a serial killer would say 36 KB JPG >tell her that they are my own words and to let me work >inform my boss and treat her coldly for 5 months >asks if she remembers calling me a serial killer >she laughs and says she doesnt remember >says i do seem like one though >she gets nervous when she realizes the situation she put herself into >later she tries to apologize >did not accept her apology do think i crossed a line here? you
: Anonymous 08/21/21(Sat)12:07:44 No.65074316 >coworker says i never smile or talk >tell her i dont get happy when i see her so i dont smile >tell her she can talk to other рeople >she says that sounds like something a serial killer would say 36 KB JPG >tell her that they are my own words and to let me work >inform my boss and treat her coldly for 5 months >asks if she remembers calling me a serial killer >she laughs and says she doesnt remember >says i do seem like one though >she gets nervous when she realizes the situation she put herself into >later she tries to apologize >did not accept her apology do think i crossed a line here? you

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Anon was clueless | /r/Greentext

what the f--- happened to me today what the f--- happened to me t(...) 03/16/22(Wed)22:13:12 No.67808963 >Coworker complains her boyfriend left her >She says she "really needs something to do this weekend." >Giving me this really odd look like she wants me to say something >she says "she wants to be 24 KB PNG someone new" >literally stares into my eyes in silence with the most "weelllI? sooooo?" look ever >finally clicks in my head, she's trying to ask me out without directly saying it. >Ask her if she wants to see a movie or something like that. >"Oh no I don't want to go out with you anon" >she leaves What?????? Huh?????? I'm pretty clueless about the hints women drop but this was one, right? | swear she just stood there staring at me waiting for me to respond. Is she playing hard to get? Or did I somehow misunderstand that? Or did she change her mind? What the f---.
what the f--- happened to me today what the f--- happened to me t(...) 03/16/22(Wed)22:13:12 No.67808963 >Coworker complains her boyfriend left her >She says she "really needs something to do this weekend." >Giving me this really odd look like she wants me to say something >she says "she wants to be 24 KB PNG someone new" >literally stares into my eyes in silence with the most "weelllI? sooooo?" look ever >finally clicks in my head, she's trying to ask me out without directly saying it. >Ask her if she wants to see a movie or something like that. >"Oh no I don't want to go out with you anon" >she leaves What?????? Huh?????? I'm pretty clueless about the hints women drop but this was one, right? | swear she just stood there staring at me waiting for me to respond. Is she playing hard to get? Or did I somehow misunderstand that? Or did she change her mind? What the f---.

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Anon is a Chad Daddy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/09/19(Sat)08:52:10 No.792183142 > be me > be 6'2" Chad with 7.5" girthy d--- > on master's degree in engineering at top uni > gf is big butt white gym girl who f---- like a prostitute > parents love me and are proud 7 KB JPG > be glad I'm not a degenerate like you f--- > feels good bro
: Anonymous 02/09/19(Sat)08:52:10 No.792183142 > be me > be 6'2" Chad with 7.5" girthy d--- > on master's degree in engineering at top uni > gf is big butt white gym girl who f---- like a prostitute > parents love me and are proud 7 KB JPG > be glad I'm not a degenerate like you f--- > feels good bro

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anon encounters a ghost (warning: very spooky) | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 03/16/22(Wed)21:08:53 No.21145442 >move into new apartment >hear strange noises at night >like if a girl was weeping in the bathroom >spooky af >next night >hear chair moving in the kitchen >really scared >ask neighbor w-- >tells me the coupie I bought the apartment from had a daughter around my age >she committed suicide a few months ago, parents had something to do with it apparently >her ghost is probably stalking the place >at night >put a piece of paper and a pen on my desk >I hear things moving from the kitchen again >shout into the air "Im not your parents! what do you want? could you write it down?" >start hearing whispering >f--- this s--- >about to leave the apartment but the bedroom door gets shut in front of me >about to f------ die >sudden idea >pull of pajama pants >scream "if you kill me at least gimme a b------ you crazy bitch" >feeling of someone grabbing my d--- but cant see anyone >air tightens around my c--- like a weak vacuum >feels like an invisible person is sucking my d--- >suddenly a force pushes me onto my bed >air tightens more around my c--- and it feels the air moves rhytmically around my d--- >w-- the ghost chick is riding me >c-- >wake up next morning >was it a dream? >go take a shower >come back to get dressed >notice the pen I left on the desk is on the floor >notice there is something written on the paper >"it was fun and all but we are really different, so you know, but we can still be friends" >six weeks passed so far >complete silence every night >ffw not even a ghost wants to be my gf
O Anonymous 03/16/22(Wed)21:08:53 No.21145442 >move into new apartment >hear strange noises at night >like if a girl was weeping in the bathroom >spooky af >next night >hear chair moving in the kitchen >really scared >ask neighbor w-- >tells me the coupie I bought the apartment from had a daughter around my age >she committed suicide a few months ago, parents had something to do with it apparently >her ghost is probably stalking the place >at night >put a piece of paper and a pen on my desk >I hear things moving from the kitchen again >shout into the air "Im not your parents! what do you want? could you write it down?" >start hearing whispering >f--- this s--- >about to leave the apartment but the bedroom door gets shut in front of me >about to f------ die >sudden idea >pull of pajama pants >scream "if you kill me at least gimme a b------ you crazy bitch" >feeling of someone grabbing my d--- but cant see anyone >air tightens around my c--- like a weak vacuum >feels like an invisible person is sucking my d--- >suddenly a force pushes me onto my bed >air tightens more around my c--- and it feels the air moves rhytmically around my d--- >w-- the ghost chick is riding me >c-- >wake up next morning >was it a dream? >go take a shower >come back to get dressed >notice the pen I left on the desk is on the floor >notice there is something written on the paper >"it was fun and all but we are really different, so you know, but we can still be friends" >six weeks passed so far >complete silence every night >ffw not even a ghost wants to be my gf

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Illegal post, but just had to inform everyone that, apparently, we're committing hate crimes. | /r/Greentext

E r/racism You've been permanently banned from participating in r/racism r/racism • 1h You have been permanently banned from participating in r/ racism. You can still view and subscribe to r/racism, but you won't be able to post or comment. Note from the moderators: You have been automatically banned for participating in a hatereddit. /r/greentext systemically harasses individuals and/or communities, including this one. Regardless of context, contributions you provide to the hatereddit is a material form of support. We are willing to reverse the ban only if you plan to stop supporting these hatereddits. If you do not, then do not contact us. We will ignore any other response. If you have a question regarding your ban, you can contact the moderator team for r/racism by replying to this message. Reminder from the Reddit staff: If you use another account to circumvent this subreddit ban, that will be considered a violation of the Content Policy and can result in your account being suspended from the site as a whole.
E r/racism You've been permanently banned from participating in r/racism r/racism • 1h You have been permanently banned from participating in r/ racism. You can still view and subscribe to r/racism, but you won't be able to post or comment. Note from the moderators: You have been automatically banned for participating in a hatereddit. /r/greentext systemically harasses individuals and/or communities, including this one. Regardless of context, contributions you provide to the hatereddit is a material form of support. We are willing to reverse the ban only if you plan to stop supporting these hatereddits. If you do not, then do not contact us. We will ignore any other response. If you have a question regarding your ban, you can contact the moderator team for r/racism by replying to this message. Reminder from the Reddit staff: If you use another account to circumvent this subreddit ban, that will be considered a violation of the Content Policy and can result in your account being suspended from the site as a whole.

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Anon is a Chad look-alike | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/08/18(Thu)09:16:35 No.43709546 >be me >chad look-alike >basically just have good looks and give good first impression, but still feel like 4chan is my people >get sick of people treating 1002 KB PNG my autist friends like s--- >start telling stacies who s--- on autists that they have to f--- my friends before they can f--- me >mostly get called a freak but it's still fun for the s---- and giggles >mfw one of the girls actually says ok and actually does it >end up being too disgusted with her to have sex with her >she keeps having sex with friends anyway >mfw am chad robin hood
: Anonymous 03/08/18(Thu)09:16:35 No.43709546 >be me >chad look-alike >basically just have good looks and give good first impression, but still feel like 4chan is my people >get sick of people treating 1002 KB PNG my autist friends like s--- >start telling stacies who s--- on autists that they have to f--- my friends before they can f--- me >mostly get called a freak but it's still fun for the s---- and giggles >mfw one of the girls actually says ok and actually does it >end up being too disgusted with her to have sex with her >she keeps having sex with friends anyway >mfw am chad robin hood

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GrandAnon had the last laugh | /r/Greentext

02/10/22(Thu)19:28:46 No.87242585 財 >never really connect with family members >not even with parents >grandpa is the only person in the family I truly get along with >same the other way around since most of my relatives can't appreciate pops's sense of humor >years pass and granpops becomes one 18 KB JPG of my closest friends >on my 18th birthday he gives me an envelope >says it's important so he trusts me with it but cannot be opened before his death >l promise him I won't open it until the day comes >12 years later >granpops passes away >sad.jpg >remember the envelope >I kept it in a safe in the bank >go to bank and get it >open it >only a single paper in the envelope >written on it: "guess what? chicken butt" goddammit pops, I miss you, you old fart
02/10/22(Thu)19:28:46 No.87242585 財 >never really connect with family members >not even with parents >grandpa is the only person in the family I truly get along with >same the other way around since most of my relatives can't appreciate pops's sense of humor >years pass and granpops becomes one 18 KB JPG of my closest friends >on my 18th birthday he gives me an envelope >says it's important so he trusts me with it but cannot be opened before his death >l promise him I won't open it until the day comes >12 years later >granpops passes away >sad.jpg >remember the envelope >I kept it in a safe in the bank >go to bank and get it >open it >only a single paper in the envelope >written on it: "guess what? chicken butt" goddammit pops, I miss you, you old fart

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