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: Anonymous worst designs in biology 12/10/19(Tue)05:07:31 No.11214649 >physically weak >even the strongest specimens have only 1/10 the strength of a bear >"intelligent" >only about half of the population intelligent enough to make a difference 125 KB JPG >babies take 9 months to be born >and 15 years before they are useful >body too hot for semen to be produced >testicles need to be outside the body >put them in the warmest place possible why has humanity survived this long with such a retarded design?

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File: chainsaw man.jpg (100 KB, 1627x915) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)07:55:42 No.252911844 ►>>252911908 >>252914188 >>252914377 >>252916077 >>252919346 >>252919475 >>252920429 >>252921191 W--? >> Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)07:58:52 No.252911908 ►>>252913869 >>252913951 >>252914028 File: 06467EB6-9CF5-49FC-84A4-5(...).jpg (599 KB, 2730x4096) >>252911844 (OP) Denji could've got laid. He f----- up bad.. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)08:21:47 No.252912389 ► ok groomer Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:44:20 No.252913869 ▶>>252914047 >>252914093 >>252914100 >>252914125 >>252914134 >>252914294 >>252914315 >>252914527 >>252914536 >>252914582 >>252914605 >>252914643 >>252914670 >>252914680 >>252914780 >>252914811 >>252915009 >>252915019 >>252915216 >>252915260 >>252915280 >>252915315 >>252916087 >>252916275 >>252916436 >>252916516 >>252916539 >>252916565 >>252916569 >>252916574 >>252916659 >>252916737 >>252916787 >>252916802 >>252916842 >>252916974 >>252917020 >>252917066 >>252917095 >>252917156 >>252917166 >>252917201 >>252917265 >>252917325 >>252917490 >>252917497 >>252917507 >>252918071 >>252918109 >>252918460 >>252918543 >>252918601 >>252918806 >>252919082 >>252919137 >>252919328 >>252919382 >>252919432 >>>252919448 >>>252919457 >>252919510 >>252919544 >>252919551 >>252919576 >>252919615 >>252919616 >>252919650 >>252919702 >>252919759 >>252919779 >>252919804 >>252919882 >>252919944 >>252919980 >>252920003 >>252920030 >>252920106 >>252920276 >>252920335 >>252920347 >>252920412 >>252920415 >>252920494 >>252920535 >>252920577 >>252920610 >>252920647 >>252920712 >>252921030 >>252921081 >>252921110 >>252921138 >>252921146 >>252921257 >>252921392 >>252921415 >>252922113 >>252922329 >>252922635 >>252922833 >>252923296 >>252923418 >>252923492 >>252923792 >>252924120 >>252924150 >>252925598 >>252925778 >>252925795 >>252925980 >>252926106 >>252926146 >>252926234 >>252926278 >>252926350 >>252926563 >>252926620 >>252926624 >>252926689 >>252926756 >>252926764 >>252926876 >>252926911 >>252926918 >>252926925 >>252927034 >>252927073 >>252927110 >>252927127 >>252927301 >>252927310 >>252927461 >>252927677 >>252928003 >>252928114 >>252928431 >>252928442 >>252928498 >>252928709 >>252928848 >>252928958 >>252929393 >>252929964 >>252930095 >>252930514 >>252930728 >>252930740 >>252930886 >>252930911 >>252931013 >>252931111 >>252931128 >>252931382 >>252931493 >>252911908 losing your virginity to the office slut is like eating the last balloon at a wedding as in, only have you in if only one Donaustk € 12, kwĐH T• MAZD ALİH PF 12. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:58:27 No.252914093 ► >>252913869 brother what Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)11:20:41 No.252915260▸ File: doomer Zoomer.png (802 KB, 720x720) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:55:23 No.252914047 ► e: 1266667790002282.jpg (134 KB, 1234x521) >>252913869 >losing your virginity to the office slut is like eating the last balloon at a wedding as in, only have you in if only one >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:59:10 No.252920412 ► >>252913869 This is a certified 4chan moment Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:15:48 No.252919432 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:57:35 No.252916842 ► e: b81.png (264 KB, 474x377) File: 1495908995260.jpg (78 KB, 1280×720) >>252913869 >>252913869 at last I truly see Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)13:25:28 No.252917325 ► File: i kneel.jpg (86 KB, 405x720) >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:47:49 N File: file.png (178 KB, 404x489) my f------ sides best post all day i kneel >>252913869 >t. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)19:13:15 No.252927301 ► File: it's so over.png (816 KB, 1121x673) >>252913869 My sides Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)10:33:58 No.252914670 ► File: 1683785740614529.jpg (30 KB, 567x496) >>252913869 Damn, this post really mindbroken everyone Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)10:44:57 No.252914811 ► File: 1674008914715180.jpg (29 KB, 680x504) >>252913869 Never have I seen a sentiment conveyed through nonsense with such clarity before. A true modern poet. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:27:55 No.252919702 ► File: 1235316161e7427.png (161 KB, 774x788) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)18:43:30 No.252926278 ► >>252913869 ESLkun... >>252913869 >The most sane CSM fan Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:56:05 No.252920335 ►>>252920351 File: 1681220115757034.jpg (95 KB, 1200x1200) >>252913869 Anon bravely dying of a stroke to shitpost one last time. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:30:34 No.252919759► File: 1667874544032923.png (42 KB, 289x256) >>252913869 XXXX Anonymous UCDAZZJIVYOCHT_42:16 No.2021 20224 IC: JUS_405_4.129 [12 <1, 300 Audinous 1024/2004; 004:20 > 2225 4000 desale Zaroor A 7841 IN It's because that man's arguments are so right that they leave no room for debate. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:41:19 No.252916516 ► File: 1679679759269336.jpg (9 KB, 302x225) >>252913869 >thread doesnt eat their balloons at a wedding Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:24:07 No.252923296▸ File: 1682955308164217.jpg (85 KB, 415x375) >>252913869 I HATE THIS i am extreme dissapoint *forced smile Are you allright anon? Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:26:44 No.252923418 ► File: Interrogation_mark.jpg (266 KB, 659x932) >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)11:33:23 No.252915435 ►>>252916020 >>252916057 >>252926173 I just want to know who in the hell eats balloons Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:20:59 No.252919551► e: 1683274551527799.jpg (22 KB, 800x450) Neory BonCINII VA; CDT > < = >>252913869 >only have you in if only one Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:26:01 No.252921146 ► 4148bc178917d22bf0a75c7d3(...).png (2.97 MB, 2508x3541) >>252913869 This feels like an eldritch being is trying to communicate and spread its wisdom on thots. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)18:51:26 No.252926563 ► File: 1628025425644.png (86 KB, 250x250) >>252913869 Holy f--- I missed these kind of posts. Thanks anon. "cb1100 "PRETEND" ? Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)19:06:55 No.252927073 ► File: 1616620564086.png (506 KB, 709x708) He is speaking the language of gods. >>252913869 beautiful I-I DON'T KNOW! JUST... PRETEND TO BE RETARDED OR SOMETHING! Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:06:02 No.252920577 ►>>252920932 >>252913869 Confused reaction image farmpost Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:36:25 No.252923792 ► File: 1680879053748926.jpg (87 KB, 644x954) >>252913869 Funniest s--- ive all week Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:02:20 No. File: 1647832313112.png (236 KB, 405x560) >>252913869 We got it all wrong. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:55:51 No.252916802 ► File: 1676938237963971.jpg (285 KB, 1711x1108) >>252913869 put me in the screenie weenie

Inaqar 137 KB JPG land you protect 12/24/23(Sun)09:54:58 No.91319497 >skilled warriors seen as the main bulwark against dark forces >sons of powerful and intelligent beings of legend >follow the teachings of a golden, almighty Master who created the >sometimes have powers such as shooting fire, lighting, shockwaves, blasts of ice or energy >wield some of the most powerful weapons around >battle beastly green enemies, awakened soulless armies, spirits, undead, malicious versions of yourselves, daemonic forces, and the literal embodiments of evil >wear bright colors to sell plastic toys >be the Ninja from Lego Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu >pic unrelated

Anonymous 10/26/13(Sat) 19:06 No.215457549 File: 1382828761196.jpg-(42 KB, 480x480, 1353212900339.jpg) >My dads face when >"Well have fun" >leaves room >Playing Silent Hill 3 >at the end >dad walks in >"Hey son, what you playing?" >Heather regurgitates a fetus >the other girl picks it up and shoves in his mouth >"I WILL BIRTH THE GOD"

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Anon smokes weed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/16/22(Wed) 19:51:12 No.67808759 Post your most embarrassing or degrading confession >freshman year of college >invited to a party, more like dragged there 270 KB JPG >smoke weed with some people in one of my classes >better than trying to survive in the actual party >police show up because of a noise complaint and probably they said they saw drugs or whatever >we're in an upstairs bedroom >everyone starts climbing down through the window >l'm too much of a p---- and don't go >cops make it to the room and one of them comes in >oh no time to be arrested >sudden stroke of genius >maybe I can convince him >he tells me to turn around >I lift my jacket to show off my ass and tell him he's cute >he starts to cuff me and I reach for his crotch >he says "My job isn't worth your ugly, bony ass" and throws me on the ground and cuffs me

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anon can sing | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/16/22(Wed)14:49:06 No.67809995 sing.jpg 38 KB JPG >finally live alone >can sing without my mom making fun of me View Thread

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Anon has a positive view on women | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 03/16/22(Wed)20:50:58 No.874520917 >>874521180 Women over 30 are worthless for even sex. Who agrees? Anonymous 03/16/22(Wed)20:56:00 No.874521027 >women over 30 are worthless for sex so are you

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Anon doesn't know the secret method to keep a fart silent. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/30/19(Sat)19:16:10 No.796295617 >Be me >On long school bus trip >Stopped at Mcdonalds for food >Didn't use the bathroom >Be later >Bus ride is 6 hours and were not stopping >Really gotta fart >Can't because of the laws of public 58 KB JPG decency >Feel gas rush to my anus >Squeeze tight to keep it tamed >Gas goes back to intestines >Every time the gas returns I send it back >It's like fart tenis >Been playing fart tenis for nearly an hour >My colon decides to spike the serve >l don't return >Mfw I s--- my pants on the schoolbus

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Anon was outraged | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)18:36:55 No.153753695 1626497257478.jpg 217 KB JPG >wow you're so much bigger than my exes Literally turned 360 degrees and walked right out of the cinema : Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)18:46:21 No.153754047 If you turned 360 degrees you'd still be facing the cinema.

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Anon wants to light beacons of Gondor (from Lord of the Rings) | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous The beacons are lit! 04/11/19(Thu)09:38:04 No.112735452 >Be peasant from Gondor >Live on mountain >See distant fire >Light wood pile >Epic music starts playing >20 years on mountain worth it for this moment 7 KB JPG

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Feels like up to me | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous BLOG 08/21/21(Sat)01:11:08 No.65069298 >HS dropout spent 4 years in the military jerking off on artillery (13B gang) >Now Im 27 work in a dairy spray drying facility (I operate some machine that processes dairy tanker trucks) >27/hour, 5-10 hours OT/ week >I know its not a lot compared to white collar work but I feel pretty comfortable >Start dating a girl with a masters degree in something 941 KB JPG computer related >no Idea what she does, but its something with software at some cool startup >always feel intimidated by the class difference between us >pick her up at her apartment and its a really expensive complex in Burlington VT(way overpriced metro area) >feeling really insecure about looking dumb and poor and she actually seems like a well educated, smart successful chick >try to avoid talking about "where did you go to school" or money type stuff >on our 4th date she mentions she's making payments on her car>her rent is literally 1800/month>she cant even afford to fix her car>shes making payments on her f------ car >mfw my car is paid off, paid in cash day 1 and I make enough to cover my monthly rent and most of my monthly expenses in a f------ week I never lol'd so hard in my life I thought I was poor but turns out she's the poor retard

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this is so fucking sad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/03/21(Wed)23:57:48 No.542988776 >dad watching me play vidya >woah anon how did you know how to do (insert incredibly obvious thing here) >repeat x100 are boomers literally f------ retarded? 47 KB PNG : Anonymous 02/04/21(Thu)00:05:52 No.542989510 stop being a f-----, your dad is trying to connect with you >>542990391 # >>542990521 # >>542990724 # >>542990810 # >>542991437 # >>542991550 # >>542991956 # >>542992068 # >>542992151 # >>542992412 # >>542992605 # >>542993739 # >>542994051 # >>542996095 # >>542997281 # >>542998590 # >>543000324 # >>543000453 # >>543000617 # >>543000746 # >>543000841 # >>543001083 # >>543001335 # >>543001389 # >>543004779 # >>543005792 # >>543006553 # >>543007247 # >>543007582 # >>543008745 # >>543008851 # >>543008910 # >>543010419 # >>543010828 # >>543010934 # >>543010961 # >>543011220 # >>543011526 # >>543012078 # >>543014701 # >>543015032 # >>543015721 # >>543015803 # >>543015917 # >>543019926 # >>543020443 # >>543022048 #

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Killed the mood | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/21/21(Sat)12:07:44 No.65074316 >coworker says i never smile or talk >tell her i dont get happy when i see her so i dont smile >tell her she can talk to other рeople >she says that sounds like something a serial killer would say 36 KB JPG >tell her that they are my own words and to let me work >inform my boss and treat her coldly for 5 months >asks if she remembers calling me a serial killer >she laughs and says she doesnt remember >says i do seem like one though >she gets nervous when she realizes the situation she put herself into >later she tries to apologize >did not accept her apology do think i crossed a line here? you

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Anon was clueless | /r/Greentext

what the f--- happened to me today what the f--- happened to me t(...) 03/16/22(Wed)22:13:12 No.67808963 >Coworker complains her boyfriend left her >She says she "really needs something to do this weekend." >Giving me this really odd look like she wants me to say something >she says "she wants to be 24 KB PNG someone new" >literally stares into my eyes in silence with the most "weelllI? sooooo?" look ever >finally clicks in my head, she's trying to ask me out without directly saying it. >Ask her if she wants to see a movie or something like that. >"Oh no I don't want to go out with you anon" >she leaves What?????? Huh?????? I'm pretty clueless about the hints women drop but this was one, right? | swear she just stood there staring at me waiting for me to respond. Is she playing hard to get? Or did I somehow misunderstand that? Or did she change her mind? What the f---.

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Anon is a Chad Daddy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/09/19(Sat)08:52:10 No.792183142 > be me > be 6'2" Chad with 7.5" girthy d--- > on master's degree in engineering at top uni > gf is big butt white gym girl who f---- like a prostitute > parents love me and are proud 7 KB JPG > be glad I'm not a degenerate like you f--- > feels good bro

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anon encounters a ghost (warning: very spooky) | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 03/16/22(Wed)21:08:53 No.21145442 >move into new apartment >hear strange noises at night >like if a girl was weeping in the bathroom >spooky af >next night >hear chair moving in the kitchen >really scared >ask neighbor w-- >tells me the coupie I bought the apartment from had a daughter around my age >she committed suicide a few months ago, parents had something to do with it apparently >her ghost is probably stalking the place >at night >put a piece of paper and a pen on my desk >I hear things moving from the kitchen again >shout into the air "Im not your parents! what do you want? could you write it down?" >start hearing whispering >f--- this s--- >about to leave the apartment but the bedroom door gets shut in front of me >about to f------ die >sudden idea >pull of pajama pants >scream "if you kill me at least gimme a b------ you crazy bitch" >feeling of someone grabbing my d--- but cant see anyone >air tightens around my c--- like a weak vacuum >feels like an invisible person is sucking my d--- >suddenly a force pushes me onto my bed >air tightens more around my c--- and it feels the air moves rhytmically around my d--- >w-- the ghost chick is riding me >c-- >wake up next morning >was it a dream? >go take a shower >come back to get dressed >notice the pen I left on the desk is on the floor >notice there is something written on the paper >"it was fun and all but we are really different, so you know, but we can still be friends" >six weeks passed so far >complete silence every night >ffw not even a ghost wants to be my gf

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Greentext Stories - Anon thinks about humans | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous worst designs in biology 12/10/19(Tue)05:07:31 No.11214649 >physically weak >even the strongest specimens have only 1/10 the strength of a bear >"intelligent" >only about half of the population intelligent enough to make a difference 125 KB JPG >babies take 9 months to be born >and 15 years before they are useful >body too hot for semen to be produced >testicles need to be outside the body >put them in the warmest place possible why has humanity survived this long with such a retarded design?

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