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Anon suits up | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: XMscJk1K F--- 01/09/18(Tue)18:53:19 No.15616299 >be me >Dad is a tailor cuz family business >me and brother work in tailor shop as teens >I go to college to become a marine biologist 86 KB JPG >brother becomes tailor with Dad >back from college, major in econ, minor in marine bio >unemployed.oof >Dad wants me to work at tailor shop >tell my dad that l'll help him on busy days while I search for a better paying job >busy day >dad calls me in >fuckton of gays getting suits fitted for a gay wedding >they all want rainbow stitched to their breast pocket >look in back of store for multicolored thread >I can only find this faux leather sinewy s--- that works decently as stitching >one of the f--- is vegan "Is that made on real leather? Because I don't want any cows on my breast" "No sir, this thread is fake and gay"
: Anonymous (ID: XMscJk1K F--- 01/09/18(Tue)18:53:19 No.15616299 >be me >Dad is a tailor cuz family business >me and brother work in tailor shop as teens >I go to college to become a marine biologist 86 KB JPG >brother becomes tailor with Dad >back from college, major in econ, minor in marine bio >unemployed.oof >Dad wants me to work at tailor shop >tell my dad that l'll help him on busy days while I search for a better paying job >busy day >dad calls me in >fuckton of gays getting suits fitted for a gay wedding >they all want rainbow stitched to their breast pocket >look in back of store for multicolored thread >I can only find this faux leather sinewy s--- that works decently as stitching >one of the f--- is vegan "Is that made on real leather? Because I don't want any cows on my breast" "No sir, this thread is fake and gay"

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Anon is based | /r/Greentext


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Anon is a gigachad | /r/Greentext


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Anon is fat | /r/Greentext


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Anon takes the fatpill | /r/Greentext


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Anon goes to college | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/06/22(Thu)19:55:09 No.66876081 >First day of college, orientation day >Nurse is going around handing out condoms to everyone >Makes eye contact with me, pauses for a brief second >Doesn't give me one 30 KB JPG She wanted me to do her raw, r-right|
: Anonymous 01/06/22(Thu)19:55:09 No.66876081 >First day of college, orientation day >Nurse is going around handing out condoms to everyone >Makes eye contact with me, pauses for a brief second >Doesn't give me one 30 KB JPG She wanted me to do her raw, r-right|

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Was it worth it? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: yw+C4FGK ) Was the invasion worth it fina(...) 02/28/22(Mon)19:00:21 No.46922356 >Their economy is crumbling >Ruble has fallen nearly 30%, worth ONE cent >Russian banks are collapsing >EU, US and Canada closes airspace >Shell withdrawals from Gazprom 239 KB JPG >Anti-war protests in major Russian cities >GM, Audi, Jaguar, Land Rover, BMW, Mercedes, Citroen, Renault suspended shipments of cars to Russia >Volvo suspended production and sale of cars >Kicked out UEFA, FIFA and IIHF competitions >EU donates fighter jets for the first time >Eu will finance the purchase and supply weapons for the first time >Switzerland is no longer neutral and freezes assets >EU terminates agreement for issuing visas >Russian oligarch foreign assets seized and frozen >Kicked out of SWIFT >Turkey blocks Bosphorus for Russian navy >Visa and Mastercard of RU banks will no longer work abroad >Finland possibly fast tracked to join NATO (polls: more that half residents support joining) >Ukraine and NATO/EU closer than ever >Assets of central bank of Russia will be frozen ($643billion) >Intel and AMD stopped supplying chips >All gold and foreign exchange reserve of Central bank have been restrained and are blocked >BP is getting rid of its stake in Rosneft >EU banned operations related to the managment of reserves and assets of the central bank >South Korea will no longer supply strategic materials to Russia >Finnish corporation Ryhma second largest in the country removing goods from Russia >Sberbank bans withdrawals from investment accounts for the next 10 days >Schalke04 terminated contract with Gazprom >Top Russian oligarchs speak out against war >Chinese government has prohibited state banks from financing purchases of Russian commodities >All Canadian financial institutions are prohibited from engaging in any transaction with the Russian Central Bank >Norway drops Russia from 1.3$ trillion dollar wealth fund
: Anonymous (ID: yw+C4FGK ) Was the invasion worth it fina(...) 02/28/22(Mon)19:00:21 No.46922356 >Their economy is crumbling >Ruble has fallen nearly 30%, worth ONE cent >Russian banks are collapsing >EU, US and Canada closes airspace >Shell withdrawals from Gazprom 239 KB JPG >Anti-war protests in major Russian cities >GM, Audi, Jaguar, Land Rover, BMW, Mercedes, Citroen, Renault suspended shipments of cars to Russia >Volvo suspended production and sale of cars >Kicked out UEFA, FIFA and IIHF competitions >EU donates fighter jets for the first time >Eu will finance the purchase and supply weapons for the first time >Switzerland is no longer neutral and freezes assets >EU terminates agreement for issuing visas >Russian oligarch foreign assets seized and frozen >Kicked out of SWIFT >Turkey blocks Bosphorus for Russian navy >Visa and Mastercard of RU banks will no longer work abroad >Finland possibly fast tracked to join NATO (polls: more that half residents support joining) >Ukraine and NATO/EU closer than ever >Assets of central bank of Russia will be frozen ($643billion) >Intel and AMD stopped supplying chips >All gold and foreign exchange reserve of Central bank have been restrained and are blocked >BP is getting rid of its stake in Rosneft >EU banned operations related to the managment of reserves and assets of the central bank >South Korea will no longer supply strategic materials to Russia >Finnish corporation Ryhma second largest in the country removing goods from Russia >Sberbank bans withdrawals from investment accounts for the next 10 days >Schalke04 terminated contract with Gazprom >Top Russian oligarchs speak out against war >Chinese government has prohibited state banks from financing purchases of Russian commodities >All Canadian financial institutions are prohibited from engaging in any transaction with the Russian Central Bank >Norway drops Russia from 1.3$ trillion dollar wealth fund

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Grug no understand | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: CóneJE2D ) = 02/26/22(Sat)14:01:23 No.363467948 >Me definitely think Chief Putin want white tribe be big good >He want man f--- woman, no man f--- man like big nose tribe say >But why he attack 98.7% white Ukraine tribe? 145 KB PNG >Why he no attack big nose tribe in Israel? >He attack Syria tribe, so he can do >Me no understand. Brain ouchy. : Anonymous (ID: (jn7Yctfc 02/26/22(Sat)14:02:33 No.363468114 >>363468924 # : Anonymous (ID: yVxmoDyF ) 02/26/22(Sat) 14:05:22 No.363468549 : Anonymous (ID: TYJHC6EN ) - 02/26/22(Sat)14:05:30 No.363468575 >you know what grug? >me take long look at Chief Putin >he no look like grug >me be thinking Chief Putin is chief of different tribe, maybe bug tribe 115 KB PNG >>363469603 #
: Anonymous (ID: CóneJE2D ) = 02/26/22(Sat)14:01:23 No.363467948 >Me definitely think Chief Putin want white tribe be big good >He want man f--- woman, no man f--- man like big nose tribe say >But why he attack 98.7% white Ukraine tribe? 145 KB PNG >Why he no attack big nose tribe in Israel? >He attack Syria tribe, so he can do >Me no understand. Brain ouchy. : Anonymous (ID: (jn7Yctfc 02/26/22(Sat)14:02:33 No.363468114 >>363468924 # : Anonymous (ID: yVxmoDyF ) 02/26/22(Sat) 14:05:22 No.363468549 : Anonymous (ID: TYJHC6EN ) - 02/26/22(Sat)14:05:30 No.363468575 >you know what grug? >me take long look at Chief Putin >he no look like grug >me be thinking Chief Putin is chief of different tribe, maybe bug tribe 115 KB PNG >>363469603 #

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Anon the hobgoblin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/06/22(Thu)18:57:23 No.870097154 >Some friends I played games with used to call me goblin due to my nose and small stature >didn't see them for about 3 years >started to workout since then >got really buff >saw them again yesterday >now they call me hobgoblin 22 KB JPG View Thread
: Anonymous 01/06/22(Thu)18:57:23 No.870097154 >Some friends I played games with used to call me goblin due to my nose and small stature >didn't see them for about 3 years >started to workout since then >got really buff >saw them again yesterday >now they call me hobgoblin 22 KB JPG View Thread

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Anon has a Death Note | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/28/22(Mon)21:31:23 No.873582477 >junior year of highschool >become friends with girl in class >have crush on her best friend >tell her >she hypes me up >tells me I should tell her >l take my time and gather the 33 KB JPG courage >tell her I like her >she laughs and runs away from me >tells everyone in school and everyone is making fun of me for it >she laughs at me in the hallway anytime I walk by her >her guy friends threaten to kick my ass if I come near her >here's the wild s--- >same day she falls down the school bleachers doing some b------- training for track >ends up hitting her head or breaking her neck, maybe both I don't remember >actually f------ dies >l cannot make this s--- up >nobody gave me s--- for the rest of highschool
: Anonymous 02/28/22(Mon)21:31:23 No.873582477 >junior year of highschool >become friends with girl in class >have crush on her best friend >tell her >she hypes me up >tells me I should tell her >l take my time and gather the 33 KB JPG courage >tell her I like her >she laughs and runs away from me >tells everyone in school and everyone is making fun of me for it >she laughs at me in the hallway anytime I walk by her >her guy friends threaten to kick my ass if I come near her >here's the wild s--- >same day she falls down the school bleachers doing some b------- training for track >ends up hitting her head or breaking her neck, maybe both I don't remember >actually f------ dies >l cannot make this s--- up >nobody gave me s--- for the rest of highschool

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Anon sits next to a fatty | /r/Greentext

No.28149171 >28149207 >>28150315 >>28150866 >>28151093 >>28151171 >>28152714 >>28153011 >28154671 >>28155672 >>28155754 >>28155972 No FPS thread? Let's change that. >Have middle seat on a flight >Fatty next to window >Nice albeit overweight granny has the aisle seat >Granny was nice, talking about her grandkids and such, so I can deal with her >Hamplanet, however, keeps fidgeting; the trees he calls legs keep touching mine >Kicks his knees out and grunts like the beast he is >I look him dead in the eye and say "What the hell, man?" >"I hate it when people touch me. Give me space!" >Say that my legs are perfectly in line with my seat and the only one taking up space is him >Oh dear lord, I've uttered the secret phrase that sets off this Manchurian candidate >"Are you seriously calling me fat?! How rude!" >Normally I'd laugh it off, but I have to sit next to him for another 3 hours >"No I didn't call you fat, but you know what? You are fat, so fat that you think you're entitled to the leg space that I paid for." >Kick my legs out, exactly like he did >Curse words were flung, flight attendants came >Granny resolves the situation by switching seats with me >Fatass is still p----- >Flight attendant tells him to buy a first class seat next time >He threatens that there will be hell to pay >Flight attendant smirks and walks off >Guy notices that granny's legs are touching his, gets even madder >"Oh don't mind me, sweety. I'm fat too, we'll get through this. You just sit there and be quiet, our legs are going to be touching and there's nothing we can do about it." >l chuckle, he's angry, granny gives me a wink
No.28149171 >28149207 >>28150315 >>28150866 >>28151093 >>28151171 >>28152714 >>28153011 >28154671 >>28155672 >>28155754 >>28155972 No FPS thread? Let's change that. >Have middle seat on a flight >Fatty next to window >Nice albeit overweight granny has the aisle seat >Granny was nice, talking about her grandkids and such, so I can deal with her >Hamplanet, however, keeps fidgeting; the trees he calls legs keep touching mine >Kicks his knees out and grunts like the beast he is >I look him dead in the eye and say "What the hell, man?" >"I hate it when people touch me. Give me space!" >Say that my legs are perfectly in line with my seat and the only one taking up space is him >Oh dear lord, I've uttered the secret phrase that sets off this Manchurian candidate >"Are you seriously calling me fat?! How rude!" >Normally I'd laugh it off, but I have to sit next to him for another 3 hours >"No I didn't call you fat, but you know what? You are fat, so fat that you think you're entitled to the leg space that I paid for." >Kick my legs out, exactly like he did >Curse words were flung, flight attendants came >Granny resolves the situation by switching seats with me >Fatass is still p----- >Flight attendant tells him to buy a first class seat next time >He threatens that there will be hell to pay >Flight attendant smirks and walks off >Guy notices that granny's legs are touching his, gets even madder >"Oh don't mind me, sweety. I'm fat too, we'll get through this. You just sit there and be quiet, our legs are going to be touching and there's nothing we can do about it." >l chuckle, he's angry, granny gives me a wink

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A cut above | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/28/22(Mon)18:33:42 No.67608601 >get a haircut and shave >instantly go from 2/10 to 4/10 Bros I think I might make it 142 KB JPG
: Anonymous 02/28/22(Mon)18:33:42 No.67608601 >get a haircut and shave >instantly go from 2/10 to 4/10 Bros I think I might make it 142 KB JPG

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Anon explains how Hermione was actually black | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/10/21(Fri)09:56:23 No.160408196 >>160407906 (OP) # Maybe if any of you actually read the books, you would know Hermoine was written as a black 241 KB JPG girl from the start. Deathly Hallows page 234 paragraph 3 and I quote. >"Ron! Voldemort is getting away on his broomstick!". >"Oh No Harry! How are we going to catch him" Ron replied. >Things looked dire indeed but just then Hermoine hollered at Harry and Ron from down the street. %31 >"Yo crackers, I gots us some bikes now lets roll on that jive ass noseless m-----------!" >"Hermoine, where did you get these bicycles?" inquired Harry. >"Shieeeetttt.." replied Hermoine.
: Anonymous 12/10/21(Fri)09:56:23 No.160408196 >>160407906 (OP) # Maybe if any of you actually read the books, you would know Hermoine was written as a black 241 KB JPG girl from the start. Deathly Hallows page 234 paragraph 3 and I quote. >"Ron! Voldemort is getting away on his broomstick!". >"Oh No Harry! How are we going to catch him" Ron replied. >Things looked dire indeed but just then Hermoine hollered at Harry and Ron from down the street. %31 >"Yo crackers, I gots us some bikes now lets roll on that jive ass noseless m-----------!" >"Hermoine, where did you get these bicycles?" inquired Harry. >"Shieeeetttt.." replied Hermoine.

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Anon Put(it)in | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/27/22(Sun)18:52:33 No.873504634 >Under Bush: Georgia >Under Obama: Crimea >Under Trump: >Under Biden: Ukraine Why did Putin fear Trump though? 150 KB JPG 44 Replies / 7 Images View Thread : Anonymous 02/27/22(Sun)19:23:49 No.873506074 REPUBLICANS >>873504634 (OP) # You don't start a fight with a guy who's got your d--- in his mouth. ARE NOT AMERICANS 59 KB JPG
: Anonymous 02/27/22(Sun)18:52:33 No.873504634 >Under Bush: Georgia >Under Obama: Crimea >Under Trump: >Under Biden: Ukraine Why did Putin fear Trump though? 150 KB JPG 44 Replies / 7 Images View Thread : Anonymous 02/27/22(Sun)19:23:49 No.873506074 REPUBLICANS >>873504634 (OP) # You don't start a fight with a guy who's got your d--- in his mouth. ARE NOT AMERICANS 59 KB JPG

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Anon gives a hug | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/05/21(Sat)21:50:41 No.64020304 >give her a hug >hug for a very long time >worry I'm hugging for too long >"do you want me to let go?" >she squeezes me tighter :)) 11 KB PNG 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 06/05/21(Sat)22:12:38 No.64020468 >>64020304 (OP) # that makes me feel very lonely fren but also very happy for you, wishing the best for you two
: Anonymous 06/05/21(Sat)21:50:41 No.64020304 >give her a hug >hug for a very long time >worry I'm hugging for too long >"do you want me to let go?" >she squeezes me tighter :)) 11 KB PNG 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 06/05/21(Sat)22:12:38 No.64020468 >>64020304 (OP) # that makes me feel very lonely fren but also very happy for you, wishing the best for you two

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Anon follows the meme | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/28/22(Mon)22:47:37 No.67606851 >took the meme advice for the lulz >started lifting 5x/week >drinking more water >eating mostly veggies and Lber Cats Uber Cats meat/fish >taking supplements (multivitamin + fish oil) 868 KB JPG >sleeping 8-9 hours a night on a regular schedule >reading instead of gaming in my free time >improved my hygiene >completely unplugged from all social media and news outlets I've lost weight, my skin cleared up, and I feel like a completely different person. I thought this was supposed to be b-------
: Anonymous 02/28/22(Mon)22:47:37 No.67606851 >took the meme advice for the lulz >started lifting 5x/week >drinking more water >eating mostly veggies and Lber Cats Uber Cats meat/fish >taking supplements (multivitamin + fish oil) 868 KB JPG >sleeping 8-9 hours a night on a regular schedule >reading instead of gaming in my free time >improved my hygiene >completely unplugged from all social media and news outlets I've lost weight, my skin cleared up, and I feel like a completely different person. I thought this was supposed to be b-------

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Anon's life is a comedy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/28/22(Mon)20:48:07 No.873552449 pain.jpg 84 KB JPG >be me >one chance at life >only attracted to femboys >born in the Middle East to a broke family I am God's punching bag
: Anonymous 02/28/22(Mon)20:48:07 No.873552449 pain.jpg 84 KB JPG >be me >one chance at life >only attracted to femboys >born in the Middle East to a broke family I am God's punching bag

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Anon's Writing Workshop Partner | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 2/06/22(Sun)23:57:14 No.16965346 683A8509-560F-4318-84A2-50F761857668.jpg 68 KB JPG >Writing workshop assignment to try out hand at romance >my paired critiquing partner for that day in class is a woman >after she reads over my work, the first thing she says to me is "You're a virgin, aren't you?"
: Anonymous 2/06/22(Sun)23:57:14 No.16965346 683A8509-560F-4318-84A2-50F761857668.jpg 68 KB JPG >Writing workshop assignment to try out hand at romance >my paired critiquing partner for that day in class is a woman >after she reads over my work, the first thing she says to me is "You're a virgin, aren't you?"

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Anon appreciates the present | /r/Greentext


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Russian Anon is feeling the pain | /r/Greentext


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