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Anon tells his story | /r/Greentext

>be me >one day i deci- >FAKE ÅND GAY >FAKE AND GAY >UNREAL AND HOMOSEXUAL >GAKE AND FAY
>be me >one day i deci- >FAKE ÅND GAY >FAKE AND GAY >UNREAL AND HOMOSEXUAL >GAKE AND FAY

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Anon gets kinky | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/12/18(Fri)20:55:24 No.782123133 >get gf into a--- >slight success bit painfull for her >first time ever I make her come from a--- >buy some toys >pic related half the girth of my c--- 140 KB PNG >call me a f-- but I try it on me first >loads of coco butter >rips me apart I dunno if I can still do this to her To people really enjoy receiving a---? 1 Reply View Thread | Anonymous 10/12/18(Fri)20:57:40 No.782123206 >>782123133 (OP) # Your gf is more of a man than you
: Anonymous 10/12/18(Fri)20:55:24 No.782123133 >get gf into a--- >slight success bit painfull for her >first time ever I make her come from a--- >buy some toys >pic related half the girth of my c--- 140 KB PNG >call me a f-- but I try it on me first >loads of coco butter >rips me apart I dunno if I can still do this to her To people really enjoy receiving a---? 1 Reply View Thread | Anonymous 10/12/18(Fri)20:57:40 No.782123206 >>782123133 (OP) # Your gf is more of a man than you

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Wholesome moment | /r/Greentext


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Anon gets a week off | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/03/19(Thu)12:52:53 No.789005576 >be me >25 y/o wage slave >at work >co worker bought everyone pizza for lunch >freelunch.mp3 >after lunch get an idea 1.11 MB JPG >pizza d--- >l take a slice of pizza , put it up to the crotch of my pants and crab walk at people saying s--- like >"take a bite of this s---" and "ask me about my toppings bitch" >crab walk into a coworkers office and get right up on them and say "take a bite f-----" >he's trying not to laugh and says no >so I say "come on bitch, you know you wanna suck this pizza d---" >then I look up >the owner of the company was standing there >looking at me with a look of disappointment l've not seen since my father was on his death bed. And that's how I got a week off next week. Pic related, it's my pizza d---.
: Anonymous 01/03/19(Thu)12:52:53 No.789005576 >be me >25 y/o wage slave >at work >co worker bought everyone pizza for lunch >freelunch.mp3 >after lunch get an idea 1.11 MB JPG >pizza d--- >l take a slice of pizza , put it up to the crotch of my pants and crab walk at people saying s--- like >"take a bite of this s---" and "ask me about my toppings bitch" >crab walk into a coworkers office and get right up on them and say "take a bite f-----" >he's trying not to laugh and says no >so I say "come on bitch, you know you wanna suck this pizza d---" >then I look up >the owner of the company was standing there >looking at me with a look of disappointment l've not seen since my father was on his death bed. And that's how I got a week off next week. Pic related, it's my pizza d---.

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Anon is columbine | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/23/18(Sun)17:10:53 No.788059199 A True Americunt Story >Be me >'m that kid who looks like a school shooter. >lrony since I was popular maybe it was out of fear from 24 KB JPG classmates. >But still, it was February of this year. >The school is going to have a Superhero Day tomorrow. >My friend Sheen (btw he looks like Sheen from Jimmy Neutron) walks up to me. >He bets me $50 dollars to dress up as one of the Columbine killers. >iwillingtoget50dollarssohellyeah.jpeg >l bought a Red Sox cap from local thrift shop since it was the only thing I needed. >The Next Day >Go to school looking like Dylan Klebold since I had long hair. >pic relates >Went around with a black trench coat, boots, and Red Sox cap for the entire day. >l got my 50 bucks from Sheen. >But you know the worst part of al this was? >On Superhero Day, we held a memorial thing for that Parkland shooting >And everyone was forced to be a part of it. >l mean everyone. >There were even cops in the gym. >We had a photo shoot of the event as one big group. >It was placed in our school paper. >Yet somehow, i did not get in trouble at all. >'m severeiy disappointed with the American Education System.
: Anonymous 12/23/18(Sun)17:10:53 No.788059199 A True Americunt Story >Be me >'m that kid who looks like a school shooter. >lrony since I was popular maybe it was out of fear from 24 KB JPG classmates. >But still, it was February of this year. >The school is going to have a Superhero Day tomorrow. >My friend Sheen (btw he looks like Sheen from Jimmy Neutron) walks up to me. >He bets me $50 dollars to dress up as one of the Columbine killers. >iwillingtoget50dollarssohellyeah.jpeg >l bought a Red Sox cap from local thrift shop since it was the only thing I needed. >The Next Day >Go to school looking like Dylan Klebold since I had long hair. >pic relates >Went around with a black trench coat, boots, and Red Sox cap for the entire day. >l got my 50 bucks from Sheen. >But you know the worst part of al this was? >On Superhero Day, we held a memorial thing for that Parkland shooting >And everyone was forced to be a part of it. >l mean everyone. >There were even cops in the gym. >We had a photo shoot of the event as one big group. >It was placed in our school paper. >Yet somehow, i did not get in trouble at all. >'m severeiy disappointed with the American Education System.

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Anon V Kratos | /r/Greentext

RE NIC UM amB2P49_700b.jpg 125 KB JPG >"Read it, boi" >audience erupts in histrionic laughter Why are American events like this
RE NIC UM amB2P49_700b.jpg 125 KB JPG >"Read it, boi" >audience erupts in histrionic laughter Why are American events like this

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A true enchantment indeed | /r/Greentext

File: a31.png (205 KB, 510x405) O Anonymous 02/23/22(Wed)16:06:50 No.873234244 ► >873234329 I am way too smart for this s----- world. Way over-qualified. I would rather not be associated with the rest of humanity (in any meaningful way) because I consider myself different enough from everyone else to be called a god/angel/demon/alien etc. Even as a child, I told my babysitter that I was "smarter than God". My superiority is evident; I am clearly much wiser than most people, I am not motivated by the petty s--- most people are motivated by, I have excellent taste in food, music, and women, I have an impeccable sense of humor, and I am not judgmental. People should know who I am, it would only be an enhancement to their lives. >> Anonymous 02/23/22(Wed)16:09:24 No.873234325 ► O Anonymous 02/23/22(Wed)16:09:25 No.873234329 >>873234244 (OP) Kill yourself as a reward.
File: a31.png (205 KB, 510x405) O Anonymous 02/23/22(Wed)16:06:50 No.873234244 ► >873234329 I am way too smart for this s----- world. Way over-qualified. I would rather not be associated with the rest of humanity (in any meaningful way) because I consider myself different enough from everyone else to be called a god/angel/demon/alien etc. Even as a child, I told my babysitter that I was "smarter than God". My superiority is evident; I am clearly much wiser than most people, I am not motivated by the petty s--- most people are motivated by, I have excellent taste in food, music, and women, I have an impeccable sense of humor, and I am not judgmental. People should know who I am, it would only be an enhancement to their lives. >> Anonymous 02/23/22(Wed)16:09:24 No.873234325 ► O Anonymous 02/23/22(Wed)16:09:25 No.873234329 >>873234244 (OP) Kill yourself as a reward.

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Send nukes | /r/Greentext


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Anon finds the perfect stick | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous innawoods autism thread 12/12/18(Wed) 13:41:41 No.1413695 >be me >cub scouts camping trip >its getting dark >scout master tells us to get wood n s--- for a bonfire >go about 20 feet away from camp >see the perfect stick 131 KB JPG >grab it >its a rattlesnake tail >too retarded to run away >bring it over my head and swing it in circles >the snake can't come back and bite me >shout for help >everyone comes >sees me using a snake like a lasso >kids laughing, adults s------- pants >tell me to hit the snake against a tree as hard as I can >hope it breaks its neck >whip its head at mach speed into the biggest tree ! could find >head explodes >adults don't know whether to congratulate or punish me >other kids think I'm hardcore >mfw my nickname was snake charmer from then on
| Anonymous innawoods autism thread 12/12/18(Wed) 13:41:41 No.1413695 >be me >cub scouts camping trip >its getting dark >scout master tells us to get wood n s--- for a bonfire >go about 20 feet away from camp >see the perfect stick 131 KB JPG >grab it >its a rattlesnake tail >too retarded to run away >bring it over my head and swing it in circles >the snake can't come back and bite me >shout for help >everyone comes >sees me using a snake like a lasso >kids laughing, adults s------- pants >tell me to hit the snake against a tree as hard as I can >hope it breaks its neck >whip its head at mach speed into the biggest tree ! could find >head explodes >adults don't know whether to congratulate or punish me >other kids think I'm hardcore >mfw my nickname was snake charmer from then on

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Anon predicts future twitter drama | /r/Greentext

File: coalblack.png (272 KB, 523x523) O Anonymous 02/23/22(Wed)00:14:14 No.128988766 ► >Cuphead show comes out (already happened) >People call the Cuphead show and game racist because it's inspired by old cartoon (already happened) >People bring up the racist WB cartoon Coal Black and the Sebben Dwarves >Art twt likes the character of Coal Black despite the fact she's a racist caricature >They start drawing Coal Black in a modern less-racist style with one particular redraw being the most popular and deemed canon >Huge controversy over people "glorifying" a racist cartoon >People start shipping Coal Black with Disney's Snow White >More controversy >People draw Coal Black being submissive to a dom Snow White >More controversy >Etc etc etc
File: coalblack.png (272 KB, 523x523) O Anonymous 02/23/22(Wed)00:14:14 No.128988766 ► >Cuphead show comes out (already happened) >People call the Cuphead show and game racist because it's inspired by old cartoon (already happened) >People bring up the racist WB cartoon Coal Black and the Sebben Dwarves >Art twt likes the character of Coal Black despite the fact she's a racist caricature >They start drawing Coal Black in a modern less-racist style with one particular redraw being the most popular and deemed canon >Huge controversy over people "glorifying" a racist cartoon >People start shipping Coal Black with Disney's Snow White >More controversy >People draw Coal Black being submissive to a dom Snow White >More controversy >Etc etc etc

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Nad i thought my name was bad | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 804835787 3 min. ago >be born >one shot at life >live in sweden >so far so good >parents name you svenjamin and thats where it goes to s--- 15.7 kB JPG REPLY
Anonymous | 804835787 3 min. ago >be born >one shot at life >live in sweden >so far so good >parents name you svenjamin and thats where it goes to s--- 15.7 kB JPG REPLY

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Leaf is funny | /r/Greentext

US 4h (2/22 2:59) · 14552545 335 Re 64 Img JPG 421KB (1934 × 1080) 50 Replies naked NEWS is naked news a reliable source of unbiased political journalism? CA 4h (2/22 3:00) · 14552546 37 Replies Yes. they have nothing to hide
US 4h (2/22 2:59) · 14552545 335 Re 64 Img JPG 421KB (1934 × 1080) 50 Replies naked NEWS is naked news a reliable source of unbiased political journalism? CA 4h (2/22 3:00) · 14552546 37 Replies Yes. they have nothing to hide

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Anon is the sandwich man | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/27/21(Fri)21:13:07 No.65157997 >>65156362 >live in a bad part of town >work at a grocery store >always give hobos the food the store wants to throw out 52 KB JPG >on cold days, I make a big jug of coffee and hand it out to them >no one ever asks me for cash because they know I'm broke >am known as the "sandwich man" because | usually make sandwiches for them >last year, got mugged walking back home >5 seconds after being confronted I hear "AYO GET AWAY FROM THE SANDWICH MAN!" >4 or 5 homeless guys run to me from half a block away yelling at the mugger to get away from me despite him having a knife >he ran off after they came and they chased after him >follow and there was like 10 of them gathered around and he was pinned to the ground >one called the police and they arrested the guy >was told "if anyone f---- with you sandwich man, we got your back" >mfw I basically have a street gang by giving away day old sandwich meat and bread I am told to throw in the trash
: Anonymous 08/27/21(Fri)21:13:07 No.65157997 >>65156362 >live in a bad part of town >work at a grocery store >always give hobos the food the store wants to throw out 52 KB JPG >on cold days, I make a big jug of coffee and hand it out to them >no one ever asks me for cash because they know I'm broke >am known as the "sandwich man" because | usually make sandwiches for them >last year, got mugged walking back home >5 seconds after being confronted I hear "AYO GET AWAY FROM THE SANDWICH MAN!" >4 or 5 homeless guys run to me from half a block away yelling at the mugger to get away from me despite him having a knife >he ran off after they came and they chased after him >follow and there was like 10 of them gathered around and he was pinned to the ground >one called the police and they arrested the guy >was told "if anyone f---- with you sandwich man, we got your back" >mfw I basically have a street gang by giving away day old sandwich meat and bread I am told to throw in the trash

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Anon had an epiphany | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/23/22(Wed)14:01:32 No.67544540 41C79364-8D8E-4E27-99EC-565BDD9BE80F.png 210 KB PNG 15 year old dumb kids are getting sex Manlets are getting sex Baldlets are getting sex Literal retards are getting sex Literal cripples are getting sex You dont I dont We will die alone
: Anonymous 02/23/22(Wed)14:01:32 No.67544540 41C79364-8D8E-4E27-99EC-565BDD9BE80F.png 210 KB PNG 15 year old dumb kids are getting sex Manlets are getting sex Baldlets are getting sex Literal retards are getting sex Literal cripples are getting sex You dont I dont We will die alone

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Anon needs a laptop | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 6PZN/860 Scamming fe 12/17/19(Tue)15:23:09 No.223003614 Joined a bunch of tra support groups, starting lying about being a teen in need of money for HRT. Finna boutta get a gaming laptop bros 9 KB PNG
: Anonymous (ID: 6PZN/860 Scamming fe 12/17/19(Tue)15:23:09 No.223003614 Joined a bunch of tra support groups, starting lying about being a teen in need of money for HRT. Finna boutta get a gaming laptop bros 9 KB PNG

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Anon thinks we should skip Mars. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: aoqajAYf ) Humans should skip Mars for Pr(...) 02/23/22(Wed)07:04:48 No.362611822 >Same size as earth >nearly identical gravity ~1.05x g's >Liveable temperatures over 180 million square kilometres of land 0-30 Celcius >Has a breathable atmosphere frozen out onto the night side (primarily water radiolysis produced oxygen ice) that 1.46 MB GIF can be released with one small solar mirror. >Close to two other star systems >Can get there in 20 years or so using 60's tech (Orion/ Daedalus) We should unironically skip Mars and Venus Anonymous (ID: ty8GB4jS ) E 02/23/22(Wed)07:10:20 No.362612326 >>362612134 If we're lucky, we can transport 20 people there and it will only take 8000 years
Anonymous (ID: aoqajAYf ) Humans should skip Mars for Pr(...) 02/23/22(Wed)07:04:48 No.362611822 >Same size as earth >nearly identical gravity ~1.05x g's >Liveable temperatures over 180 million square kilometres of land 0-30 Celcius >Has a breathable atmosphere frozen out onto the night side (primarily water radiolysis produced oxygen ice) that 1.46 MB GIF can be released with one small solar mirror. >Close to two other star systems >Can get there in 20 years or so using 60's tech (Orion/ Daedalus) We should unironically skip Mars and Venus Anonymous (ID: ty8GB4jS ) E 02/23/22(Wed)07:10:20 No.362612326 >>362612134 If we're lucky, we can transport 20 people there and it will only take 8000 years

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Eminem goes on 4chan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/10/18(Wed)14:31:38 No.77357278 >be me >one of the most recognized artists of the past two decades >most people s--- on my latest releases and style >after four years with no solo album, releases a calm and emotional song pouring my heart and insecurities 36 KB JPG out and admitting I could be better >everybody s---- on it >releases highly anticipated album that includes all my different styles throughout the years >everybody s---- on it >releases verse going insane and s------- all over the fans and critics for giving me s--- nonstop >everybody f------ loves it View Thread
: Anonymous 01/10/18(Wed)14:31:38 No.77357278 >be me >one of the most recognized artists of the past two decades >most people s--- on my latest releases and style >after four years with no solo album, releases a calm and emotional song pouring my heart and insecurities 36 KB JPG out and admitting I could be better >everybody s---- on it >releases highly anticipated album that includes all my different styles throughout the years >everybody s---- on it >releases verse going insane and s------- all over the fans and critics for giving me s--- nonstop >everybody f------ loves it View Thread

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Anon discusses the advantages of the internet | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: mz2oPOFe 01/16/17(Mon)18:36:57 No.107430086 Before internet >i want to f--- toasters >dont be a f------ retard >grow up After internet >l want to f--- a toaster >google >find a community with 1000+ members about people wanting to f--- toasters >f--- up your life >>107430609 #
: Anonymous (ID: mz2oPOFe 01/16/17(Mon)18:36:57 No.107430086 Before internet >i want to f--- toasters >dont be a f------ retard >grow up After internet >l want to f--- a toaster >google >find a community with 1000+ members about people wanting to f--- toasters >f--- up your life >>107430609 #

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Anon witnesses a Cringetopia user in the wild | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/22/22(Tue)21:30:29 No.67541205 r/Cringetopia u/musicisntforme · 1h · i.redd.it S 1 Award I found this is at a local store. EXCLI ANTIRACIST 7D356274-5D7F-497D-9A4F-6F4804317C43.jpg 662 KB JPG >be local shopper >in a local family owned business >shopping for children's books >you see a wild incel looking at a book cover contemptuously >he brings out his phone and takes a perfect picture of the book >waddles away mumbling about how he's gonna get a lot of karma when he posts the picture on r/cringetopia
: Anonymous 02/22/22(Tue)21:30:29 No.67541205 r/Cringetopia u/musicisntforme · 1h · i.redd.it S 1 Award I found this is at a local store. EXCLI ANTIRACIST 7D356274-5D7F-497D-9A4F-6F4804317C43.jpg 662 KB JPG >be local shopper >in a local family owned business >shopping for children's books >you see a wild incel looking at a book cover contemptuously >he brings out his phone and takes a perfect picture of the book >waddles away mumbling about how he's gonna get a lot of karma when he posts the picture on r/cringetopia

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Anon experiences second hand embarrassment | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/23/22(Wed)00:02:24 No.873217327 >be me, going about the city like I usually do >standing in line for the subway, there's two brown dudes in front of me talking in a language I don't recognise >one of them is like 30 years older than the other, other than that they look so similar 74 KB JPG I'm gonna guess they're father and son >they get to the ticket machine thing, the younger guy starts struggling with it while the other one doesn't help, just talks angrily >l got places to be so I step in and help them >the younger man smiles and nods "Thank you, sorry. My first day in America!" >l was about to say it's literally nothing, but the old dude glares at him and interrupts with an even stronger accent "You been here three years." >younger dude turns liquid from the shame, grabs their tickets and slithers away across the floors, with the old dude behind him >talking in their own language again as they go dude why'd you have to call your man out IN ENGLISH. : Anonymous 02/23/22(Wed)00:03:40 No.873217396 >>873217327 (OP) # Dad wasn't taking no s--- lol
: Anonymous 02/23/22(Wed)00:02:24 No.873217327 >be me, going about the city like I usually do >standing in line for the subway, there's two brown dudes in front of me talking in a language I don't recognise >one of them is like 30 years older than the other, other than that they look so similar 74 KB JPG I'm gonna guess they're father and son >they get to the ticket machine thing, the younger guy starts struggling with it while the other one doesn't help, just talks angrily >l got places to be so I step in and help them >the younger man smiles and nods "Thank you, sorry. My first day in America!" >l was about to say it's literally nothing, but the old dude glares at him and interrupts with an even stronger accent "You been here three years." >younger dude turns liquid from the shame, grabs their tickets and slithers away across the floors, with the old dude behind him >talking in their own language again as they go dude why'd you have to call your man out IN ENGLISH. : Anonymous 02/23/22(Wed)00:03:40 No.873217396 >>873217327 (OP) # Dad wasn't taking no s--- lol

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