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Anon gives us a reminder | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 48592635 10 min ago •.. REMINDER IF YOU >have a job >have a gf >go to uni >have a degree >have lost your virginity 72.1 kB JPG you are a NORMALFAG. >b-b-b-bu sometimes I'm so0o awkward n sad :(i'm such a robot if you in any capacity can funciton in the real world. you are a normal person.
Anonymous 48592635 10 min ago •.. REMINDER IF YOU >have a job >have a gf >go to uni >have a degree >have lost your virginity 72.1 kB JPG you are a NORMALFAG. >b-b-b-bu sometimes I'm so0o awkward n sad :(i'm such a robot if you in any capacity can funciton in the real world. you are a normal person.

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Anon's hypothetical | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/06/22(Sun)19:47:23 No.872172463 Alright /B/, you've been targeted in the night by violent mercenaries, your identitys been confused with one that looks like you. What is your weapon of choice and why? 64 KB JPG >Pic related, it's mine: a colt python 50cal revolver, upgraded with reflex site for quicker target acquisition and an extended clip to take out more enemies before reload. : Anonymous 02/06/22(Sun)19:48:38 No.872172520 >>872172463 (OP)# I'm all for white boys being hunted down and being murdered in the night. Bump
: Anonymous 02/06/22(Sun)19:47:23 No.872172463 Alright /B/, you've been targeted in the night by violent mercenaries, your identitys been confused with one that looks like you. What is your weapon of choice and why? 64 KB JPG >Pic related, it's mine: a colt python 50cal revolver, upgraded with reflex site for quicker target acquisition and an extended clip to take out more enemies before reload. : Anonymous 02/06/22(Sun)19:48:38 No.872172520 >>872172463 (OP)# I'm all for white boys being hunted down and being murdered in the night. Bump

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Anon is a teacher | /r/Greentext

> be me > 2nd grade teacher > got this one kid, let's call him Mikey > now Mikey has a problem > a daily f------ problem > heshitshimselfeachday.mp3 >I ask him each time if he needs to go and seemingly he just s---- himself whenever he needs to > I've told his mother countless times to fix it, but she's 19 KB PNG done f--- all > she is to blame > lazybitch.jpg > so I thought up a plan > afuckingapexpredatorofaplan.png >i give the kids free milk in the final 15 minutes of school > apart from in Mikeys I put a bit of laxatives > dontworryimadesureitwassafe.wav > so he'd s--- himself at home instead of here >I do this for a few weeks and sometimes lose my own gamble > sometimes I lose sight of why I gave him laxatives when I see it running down the chair > get petty and decided to double the amount > fuckhimandhisfamily.jpg > takes 4 days before he starts asking to go for a s--- > his house must've been f------ plastered for this development > his mother got pink eye so it must've been a deadly IED > I'm best teacher
> be me > 2nd grade teacher > got this one kid, let's call him Mikey > now Mikey has a problem > a daily f------ problem > heshitshimselfeachday.mp3 >I ask him each time if he needs to go and seemingly he just s---- himself whenever he needs to > I've told his mother countless times to fix it, but she's 19 KB PNG done f--- all > she is to blame > lazybitch.jpg > so I thought up a plan > afuckingapexpredatorofaplan.png >i give the kids free milk in the final 15 minutes of school > apart from in Mikeys I put a bit of laxatives > dontworryimadesureitwassafe.wav > so he'd s--- himself at home instead of here >I do this for a few weeks and sometimes lose my own gamble > sometimes I lose sight of why I gave him laxatives when I see it running down the chair > get petty and decided to double the amount > fuckhimandhisfamily.jpg > takes 4 days before he starts asking to go for a s--- > his house must've been f------ plastered for this development > his mother got pink eye so it must've been a deadly IED > I'm best teacher

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Anon has a friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/06/22(Sun)23:23:24 No.872197191 >be me 5.6 skinny long hair bi curious >talking with friend about our jobs >he is a farmer and built like a unit >he makes fun of me and says my job isn't masculine >i make a joke saying that if isn't masculine then how comes he 7 KB JPG cant pick me up >he then proceeds to pick me up with little effort >flash forward a few days latter on my knees in skirt and thigh highs giving him a bj >huh guess that has happened now View Thread
: Anonymous 02/06/22(Sun)23:23:24 No.872197191 >be me 5.6 skinny long hair bi curious >talking with friend about our jobs >he is a farmer and built like a unit >he makes fun of me and says my job isn't masculine >i make a joke saying that if isn't masculine then how comes he 7 KB JPG cant pick me up >he then proceeds to pick me up with little effort >flash forward a few days latter on my knees in skirt and thigh highs giving him a bj >huh guess that has happened now View Thread

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Anon learns french | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/23/19(Tue)11:26:27 No.805334169 >Be me >meet french cutie3.14 >decide to spend every afternoon learning french so I can talk to her in french >spending 2-3 hours a day doing french >atfer 8 months become conversational 16 KB PNG >timetomakeamove.exe >... >she gets a boyfriend >... >the boyfriend doesn't know any french at all >mfw I wasted 2 hours x 30 x 8 = 480 hours just to get cucked : Anonymous 07/23/19(Tue)11:27:55 No.805334231 >>805334169 (OP) # not only that, you learned a gay language, congrats frggot. >>805334699 # >>805334992 #
: Anonymous 07/23/19(Tue)11:26:27 No.805334169 >Be me >meet french cutie3.14 >decide to spend every afternoon learning french so I can talk to her in french >spending 2-3 hours a day doing french >atfer 8 months become conversational 16 KB PNG >timetomakeamove.exe >... >she gets a boyfriend >... >the boyfriend doesn't know any french at all >mfw I wasted 2 hours x 30 x 8 = 480 hours just to get cucked : Anonymous 07/23/19(Tue)11:27:55 No.805334231 >>805334169 (OP) # not only that, you learned a gay language, congrats frggot. >>805334699 # >>805334992 #

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Anon is a loser | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/06/22(Sun)12:29:27 No.872178039 I still think about this to this day and wonder if I am a loser >5 years ago >play tennis in high school >junior year >we finished up a match 3 KB PNG >coach says we're going to go to McDonald's >arrive there >everyone buys burgers or fillets >order 10 piece mcnuggets >chadfag asks what I ordered >"uh... I bought mcnuggets" >he starts laughing his ass off >"HEY GUYS, ANON BOUGHT MCNUGGETS" >whole team starts laughing at me >start crying I don't understand it, what is so wrong with ordering mcnuggets? Am I a f------ loser for this?
: Anonymous 02/06/22(Sun)12:29:27 No.872178039 I still think about this to this day and wonder if I am a loser >5 years ago >play tennis in high school >junior year >we finished up a match 3 KB PNG >coach says we're going to go to McDonald's >arrive there >everyone buys burgers or fillets >order 10 piece mcnuggets >chadfag asks what I ordered >"uh... I bought mcnuggets" >he starts laughing his ass off >"HEY GUYS, ANON BOUGHT MCNUGGETS" >whole team starts laughing at me >start crying I don't understand it, what is so wrong with ordering mcnuggets? Am I a f------ loser for this?

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Just saw this | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 9 minutes ago 788931223 >be me >at work >work next to a place with a lot of mexicans, most don't speak English >have to fart >qt 3.14 latina chick walking by >think "she doesn't speak English so she won't understand my fart" >fart VERY LOUD >she looks at me in disgust >mfw I realize how f------ autistic I am
Anonymous 9 minutes ago 788931223 >be me >at work >work next to a place with a lot of mexicans, most don't speak English >have to fart >qt 3.14 latina chick walking by >think "she doesn't speak English so she won't understand my fart" >fart VERY LOUD >she looks at me in disgust >mfw I realize how f------ autistic I am

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anon is a shitter | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/05/22(Sat)08:24:36 No.67298541 >be me >be 16 >get sick and head to a doctor to get checked out >get sent to a diagnostics lab for some tests 7 KB PNG >get handed a plastic container >go to the toilet >no idea what should go in there >s--- in container >hand the container to the technicians there >everyone starts to show the container to the other and laugh hysterically >no clue why >be me today >9 years later >realize I had to piss in that container after watching a youtube video I've always been retarded
: Anonymous 02/05/22(Sat)08:24:36 No.67298541 >be me >be 16 >get sick and head to a doctor to get checked out >get sent to a diagnostics lab for some tests 7 KB PNG >get handed a plastic container >go to the toilet >no idea what should go in there >s--- in container >hand the container to the technicians there >everyone starts to show the container to the other and laugh hysterically >no clue why >be me today >9 years later >realize I had to piss in that container after watching a youtube video I've always been retarded

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Anon is sad AF | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/26/18(Fri)18:38:40 No.48926795 >Having a gender norm lesson in school >Supposed to write about how boys are and how girls are up on the wall >Girls start writing empowering s--- on their wall, while smearing 35 KB JPG the boys >Boys are trash >Boys f--- around >Boys are dumb >On and on >l write "Boys are stoic" on the wall to prove a point >One writes "Boys are disposable" while giggling >The girls start laughing That's just f------ cruel.
: Anonymous 10/26/18(Fri)18:38:40 No.48926795 >Having a gender norm lesson in school >Supposed to write about how boys are and how girls are up on the wall >Girls start writing empowering s--- on their wall, while smearing 35 KB JPG the boys >Boys are trash >Boys f--- around >Boys are dumb >On and on >l write "Boys are stoic" on the wall to prove a point >One writes "Boys are disposable" while giggling >The girls start laughing That's just f------ cruel.

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Anon is an asshole | /r/Greentext


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Anon celebrates Black History | /r/Greentext


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anon is edge | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/25/22(Tue)06:22:44 No.871348238 >It's 8th grade >Someone made the twin towers out of paper and carboard for a history project >Start throwing paper airplanes at it >Get detention for "improper behavior" F--- you teach, that s--- was funny and you know it! 6 KB JPG
: Anonymous 01/25/22(Tue)06:22:44 No.871348238 >It's 8th grade >Someone made the twin towers out of paper and carboard for a history project >Start throwing paper airplanes at it >Get detention for "improper behavior" F--- you teach, that s--- was funny and you know it! 6 KB JPG

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Anon gets cheated on | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/21/18(Fri)14:51:38 No.787850675 >be me 16 >have a gf of two years >always have been self conscious of her cheating on me >decide to make a fake 36 KB JPG account and hit her up on snapchat >she doesn't suspect a thing >eventually convince to trade nudes >she loves it and sends pics of her ass/t--- >she tells me about how she would go behind her boyfriends back and f--- me whenever she could >still going on >i don't know if i should tell her or keep going >tfw my gf is cheating on me with me
: Anonymous 12/21/18(Fri)14:51:38 No.787850675 >be me 16 >have a gf of two years >always have been self conscious of her cheating on me >decide to make a fake 36 KB JPG account and hit her up on snapchat >she doesn't suspect a thing >eventually convince to trade nudes >she loves it and sends pics of her ass/t--- >she tells me about how she would go behind her boyfriends back and f--- me whenever she could >still going on >i don't know if i should tell her or keep going >tfw my gf is cheating on me with me

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Anon was outraged | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)18:36:55 No.153753695 1626497257478.jpg 217 KB JPG >wow you're so much bigger than my exes Literally turned 360 degrees and walked right out of the cinema : Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)18:46:21 No.153754047 If you turned 360 degrees you'd still be facing the cinema.
: Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)18:36:55 No.153753695 1626497257478.jpg 217 KB JPG >wow you're so much bigger than my exes Literally turned 360 degrees and walked right out of the cinema : Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)18:46:21 No.153754047 If you turned 360 degrees you'd still be facing the cinema.

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Anon goes on tinder | /r/Greentext

>be me, kissless virgin >sister says to try tinder >decide to yolo it >ff 2 days >newmatch.iso >feeling ecstatic for potential gf >mfw it's my sister 83 KB JPG What do /b/ ?
>be me, kissless virgin >sister says to try tinder >decide to yolo it >ff 2 days >newmatch.iso >feeling ecstatic for potential gf >mfw it's my sister 83 KB JPG What do /b/ ?

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Anon finds a cheat code | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 6ZaEqLP/) 02/02/22(Wed)14:33:23 No.46149615 >Get job with sick leave >After the first day call in sick use up all sick leave >Collect pay >Quit the day after your sick leave is finished >Rinse and repeat 24 KB JPG Why aren't you doing this /biz/? It's literally free money
: Anonymous (ID: 6ZaEqLP/) 02/02/22(Wed)14:33:23 No.46149615 >Get job with sick leave >After the first day call in sick use up all sick leave >Collect pay >Quit the day after your sick leave is finished >Rinse and repeat 24 KB JPG Why aren't you doing this /biz/? It's literally free money

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Anon turns 30 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/06/22(Sun)02:56:29 No.872154883 gettyimages-944359454.jpg 1.09 MB JPG >be me >was 23 >coworker telling story about sharting himself >laugh >say it will never be me >he says I'm wrong wait until I'm 30 >be me >30th birthday >have to rip fart >shart >literally s--- myself the day of my 30th birthday
: Anonymous 02/06/22(Sun)02:56:29 No.872154883 gettyimages-944359454.jpg 1.09 MB JPG >be me >was 23 >coworker telling story about sharting himself >laugh >say it will never be me >he says I'm wrong wait until I'm 30 >be me >30th birthday >have to rip fart >shart >literally s--- myself the day of my 30th birthday

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Anon gets angry and kills someone | /r/Greentext

IDS HABIDDING >be Serbian >buy a gun >notice some f----- riding around in his car with the TR MIKI 307 KB JPG top down >he has the gayest mustache i've ever seen >empty mag of .32 into the f------ degenerate >Austrians are p----- for some reason >every nation in Europe is gearing up for war >just because i shot some h--- >millions of people die
IDS HABIDDING >be Serbian >buy a gun >notice some f----- riding around in his car with the TR MIKI 307 KB JPG top down >he has the gayest mustache i've ever seen >empty mag of .32 into the f------ degenerate >Austrians are p----- for some reason >every nation in Europe is gearing up for war >just because i shot some h--- >millions of people die

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Anon wants their back blown out by a hot Marxist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: NZOARIV O MUSIC 06/14/21(Mon)14:15:49 No.325895048 hasandpiker COVID-19 Vaccination Record Card CDC Moderna z TAS Screenshot 20210614-184044~2.png 1.09 MB PNG Ok /pol/ We too need a chad-looking right wing speaker like this f----- to redpill zoomers. Almost every girl I know watches this socialist f--. View Thread 12 Replies / 1 Image ...
: Anonymous (ID: NZOARIV O MUSIC 06/14/21(Mon)14:15:49 No.325895048 hasandpiker COVID-19 Vaccination Record Card CDC Moderna z TAS Screenshot 20210614-184044~2.png 1.09 MB PNG Ok /pol/ We too need a chad-looking right wing speaker like this f----- to redpill zoomers. Almost every girl I know watches this socialist f--. View Thread 12 Replies / 1 Image ...

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Anon bakes a cake | /r/Greentext

File: 1615102934985.png (115 KB, 640x646) Anonymous 02/05/22(Sat)20:29:00 No.872139250 >5 years ago >i just turned 16 >parents are having a birthday party for me >they want me to bake the cake >i say yes >start making cake >get random boner >im home alone so i dont even bother going to the bathroom >j------- in the kitchen >blow massive load into cake batter >pretend its egg whites and mix it in >bake my j--- cake for the party ffw to party >about 5-6 friends came over, one was a girl >all brought cool presents >i wanted to have cake quickly so people wouldnt notice the smell of baked semen >finally we get to the cake >somebody notices a weird smell >i say its just the stinky friend cause he came over >my parents start cutting slices of my signature c-- cake >my friends all take a bite >they like it, one even said the texture is impeccable >party continues like nothing happened >im never caught >now every time i call my friends jizzgarglers its the truth and that, fellow /b/tards is how to troll your friends
File: 1615102934985.png (115 KB, 640x646) Anonymous 02/05/22(Sat)20:29:00 No.872139250 >5 years ago >i just turned 16 >parents are having a birthday party for me >they want me to bake the cake >i say yes >start making cake >get random boner >im home alone so i dont even bother going to the bathroom >j------- in the kitchen >blow massive load into cake batter >pretend its egg whites and mix it in >bake my j--- cake for the party ffw to party >about 5-6 friends came over, one was a girl >all brought cool presents >i wanted to have cake quickly so people wouldnt notice the smell of baked semen >finally we get to the cake >somebody notices a weird smell >i say its just the stinky friend cause he came over >my parents start cutting slices of my signature c-- cake >my friends all take a bite >they like it, one even said the texture is impeccable >party continues like nothing happened >im never caught >now every time i call my friends jizzgarglers its the truth and that, fellow /b/tards is how to troll your friends

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