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Learn from other's mistakes not yours... | /r/Greentext


Greentext Stories
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Anon goes to Walmart | /r/Greentext


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Anon hates gf | /r/Greentext

>be me >be 15 >be poor >my dad works all the time >l'm always asking for him to buy me a pc 39 KB JPG >my birthday comes by >l get nothing >Christmas comes by >l get nothing >my birthday was coming up >figured I wasn't going to get anything again >two weeks before my birthday >my dad gets into a car crash >dies >were going through his things >see a box in the closet marked "anon" >l open it up >it's a box full of computer parts >the only thing missing was a graphics card >turns out he was saving up money for a year to buy me this >his funeral goes by >l decide to put it all together >talk to a tech friend of mine >use that pc for 5 years >only ever get more ram >I kept it as it was for five years >today my girlfriend comes over >we get in a fight >she throws my pc on to the ground >l threw her out >l didn't realize my attachment to that pc until it didn't boot up >mfw my girlfriend destroyed my only connection to my dad >mfw it didn't boot
>be me >be 15 >be poor >my dad works all the time >l'm always asking for him to buy me a pc 39 KB JPG >my birthday comes by >l get nothing >Christmas comes by >l get nothing >my birthday was coming up >figured I wasn't going to get anything again >two weeks before my birthday >my dad gets into a car crash >dies >were going through his things >see a box in the closet marked "anon" >l open it up >it's a box full of computer parts >the only thing missing was a graphics card >turns out he was saving up money for a year to buy me this >his funeral goes by >l decide to put it all together >talk to a tech friend of mine >use that pc for 5 years >only ever get more ram >I kept it as it was for five years >today my girlfriend comes over >we get in a fight >she throws my pc on to the ground >l threw her out >l didn't realize my attachment to that pc until it didn't boot up >mfw my girlfriend destroyed my only connection to my dad >mfw it didn't boot

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Anon gets an idea | /r/Greentext

ok, let's come up with a target market together. Who has lots of money? >Arabs What do Arabs want? Heron AKA Trouble Man (always in trouble man) The T 1392468159761.jpg-(235 KB, 500x739, GATORADE. FU >>25798 virgins 16 what has a lot of virgins 4chan BOOM
ok, let's come up with a target market together. Who has lots of money? >Arabs What do Arabs want? Heron AKA Trouble Man (always in trouble man) The T 1392468159761.jpg-(235 KB, 500x739, GATORADE. FU >>25798 virgins 16 what has a lot of virgins 4chan BOOM

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Anon kills his mom | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I had the best dad 12/15/18(Sat)19:08:31 No.49862882 > Be me > Years ago. Still in womb. > Hear dad whispering nice poems. > Gonnabeagoodlife.mp3 > Hear dad leave for work. > Hear mom invite over 'Tyrone' > Black hose starts knocking 285 KB JPG against my head. > Hear dad come back and cry. > Hear mom beg for forgiveness. > Says he's staying for me. > mfw I realize this wonderful man is going to get | stuck with this thot because of me. > Cant let that happen. > Decide to poison her toth bloodstream > Gonnatakeyoudownwithme.divx > Hear dad in hospital say goodbye to me and mom. > Hear moms heart beat stop before mine does. Goodbye dad. You deserve a better life. 4 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous I had the best dad 12/15/18(Sat)19:08:31 No.49862882 > Be me > Years ago. Still in womb. > Hear dad whispering nice poems. > Gonnabeagoodlife.mp3 > Hear dad leave for work. > Hear mom invite over 'Tyrone' > Black hose starts knocking 285 KB JPG against my head. > Hear dad come back and cry. > Hear mom beg for forgiveness. > Says he's staying for me. > mfw I realize this wonderful man is going to get | stuck with this thot because of me. > Cant let that happen. > Decide to poison her toth bloodstream > Gonnatakeyoudownwithme.divx > Hear dad in hospital say goodbye to me and mom. > Hear moms heart beat stop before mine does. Goodbye dad. You deserve a better life. 4 Replies View Thread

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Greedy Anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/21/18(Sun)22:12:20 No.48832863 >Got into a big fight tonight over soda at a family birthday party >cousin said to get Pepsi, I got RC instead cheaper and tastes similar imo >bring soda in, hear a passive aggressive comment about it >everyone starts drinking, subject goes back to that he asks if I need gas money for the ride back 85 KB PNG home, implying i cant afford it >things get physical we are restrained. I just leave. Was I in the wrong? 22 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 10/21/18(Sun)22:31:42 No.48833213 >getting into a psychical altercation over a goddamn soda F------ Americans, I swear...
: Anonymous 10/21/18(Sun)22:12:20 No.48832863 >Got into a big fight tonight over soda at a family birthday party >cousin said to get Pepsi, I got RC instead cheaper and tastes similar imo >bring soda in, hear a passive aggressive comment about it >everyone starts drinking, subject goes back to that he asks if I need gas money for the ride back 85 KB PNG home, implying i cant afford it >things get physical we are restrained. I just leave. Was I in the wrong? 22 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 10/21/18(Sun)22:31:42 No.48833213 >getting into a psychical altercation over a goddamn soda F------ Americans, I swear...

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Anon uncovers the truth | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/30/22(Sun)21:12:11 No.871689869 >YES HUMANS ARE COMPLETELY CAPABLE OF MAKING THIS ON THEIR OWN FROM SCRATCH. >WELL MAYBE ACTUALLY 15 PEOPLE ON EARTH 130 KB JPG >NO YOU CAN'T MEET THEM NOR KNOW THEIR NAMES >"TSMC" FACTORY LOCATED IN "TAIWAN" MAKES 98% OF ALL CHIPS IN THE WORLD, FROM CARS, AIRPLANES OR FRIDGES >NO YOU CAN'T GO TO TAKE A LOOK IN THE FACTORY BECAUSE..YOU JUST CAN'T OKAY >TAIWAN DOES EXIST, JUST LOOK AT GOOGLE STREET VIEW OKAY totally not aliens btw 15 Replies / 6 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 01/30/22(Sun)21:12:11 No.871689869 >YES HUMANS ARE COMPLETELY CAPABLE OF MAKING THIS ON THEIR OWN FROM SCRATCH. >WELL MAYBE ACTUALLY 15 PEOPLE ON EARTH 130 KB JPG >NO YOU CAN'T MEET THEM NOR KNOW THEIR NAMES >"TSMC" FACTORY LOCATED IN "TAIWAN" MAKES 98% OF ALL CHIPS IN THE WORLD, FROM CARS, AIRPLANES OR FRIDGES >NO YOU CAN'T GO TO TAKE A LOOK IN THE FACTORY BECAUSE..YOU JUST CAN'T OKAY >TAIWAN DOES EXIST, JUST LOOK AT GOOGLE STREET VIEW OKAY totally not aliens btw 15 Replies / 6 Images View Thread

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Op is sad :( | /r/Greentext

I cried today. >10am >wake up because the telly in the kitchen is really loud >ask mum if she can turn it 90 KB JPG down a bit >she looks at me like she can't believe what I just said >she turns it down a tiny bit, not enough to make a difference >ask if she can turn it down a bit more >she slams the remote down, walks up to the telly and just turns it off >comes up to me and starts yelling, shouting about how unbelievably selfish I am >completely confused as to why she's so angry >go back to bed and pretend the lady down the road is my mother instead >cry she hates it so much when I ask her to turn the telly down, I don't understand why. I try to ask politely too. Nobody else in my family cares when I ask, just her.
I cried today. >10am >wake up because the telly in the kitchen is really loud >ask mum if she can turn it 90 KB JPG down a bit >she looks at me like she can't believe what I just said >she turns it down a tiny bit, not enough to make a difference >ask if she can turn it down a bit more >she slams the remote down, walks up to the telly and just turns it off >comes up to me and starts yelling, shouting about how unbelievably selfish I am >completely confused as to why she's so angry >go back to bed and pretend the lady down the road is my mother instead >cry she hates it so much when I ask her to turn the telly down, I don't understand why. I try to ask politely too. Nobody else in my family cares when I ask, just her.

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Anon enjoys a hot pocket | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/29/22(Sat)22:57:28 No.871679058 >eating hot pocket In the shower to save time > take big bite >bottom of hot pocket explodes out >mfw my c--- is now searing from a sniper shot of scalding pepperoni onto my hoo-haw 123 KB PNG
: Anonymous 01/29/22(Sat)22:57:28 No.871679058 >eating hot pocket In the shower to save time > take big bite >bottom of hot pocket explodes out >mfw my c--- is now searing from a sniper shot of scalding pepperoni onto my hoo-haw 123 KB PNG

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Put on Netflix anon | /r/Greentext

File: 1586857366733.jpg (82 KB, 872x867) Anonymous 09/15/20(Tue)01:51:08 No.130540921 >>130540967 >>130541085 >>130541365 >>130541402 >ask him to put on Netflix >he glances at me and starts fumbling with some weird cable on his TV and laptop >we sit there while he does something on his laptop with trembling finger >he mumbles something about some "torrents"
File: 1586857366733.jpg (82 KB, 872x867) Anonymous 09/15/20(Tue)01:51:08 No.130540921 >>130540967 >>130541085 >>130541365 >>130541402 >ask him to put on Netflix >he glances at me and starts fumbling with some weird cable on his TV and laptop >we sit there while he does something on his laptop with trembling finger >he mumbles something about some "torrents"

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Anon gets trolled. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous - 01/26/22(Wed) 18:18:51 No.67163941 >be me >playing cs >competitive match >dust2 >team full of apes cuz east eur >3 of them constantly yelling into their mic so I mute em >score is 0-10 30 KB JPG >no drive to even play >just rushing mid to die faster >get a friend request from the silent teammate >ассеpt >sends me a message saying that if we win im gonna get nudes >ask what sex is he/she >says its a secret >obviously a troll >get a sudden urge to c-- so I agree anyway >I start tryharding >score goes from 0-10 to 5-10 >switching to T >im top fragging >ffw few rounds >we win >get another message from the troll with a discord ID >add it and call the troll >joins and says here its your reward in a girl voice >activates camera >lts my mom >uninstall discord and go throw up >mfw I got trolled by that bitch Trolling is a evolutionarily stable strategy
: Anonymous - 01/26/22(Wed) 18:18:51 No.67163941 >be me >playing cs >competitive match >dust2 >team full of apes cuz east eur >3 of them constantly yelling into their mic so I mute em >score is 0-10 30 KB JPG >no drive to even play >just rushing mid to die faster >get a friend request from the silent teammate >ассеpt >sends me a message saying that if we win im gonna get nudes >ask what sex is he/she >says its a secret >obviously a troll >get a sudden urge to c-- so I agree anyway >I start tryharding >score goes from 0-10 to 5-10 >switching to T >im top fragging >ffw few rounds >we win >get another message from the troll with a discord ID >add it and call the troll >joins and says here its your reward in a girl voice >activates camera >lts my mom >uninstall discord and go throw up >mfw I got trolled by that bitch Trolling is a evolutionarily stable strategy

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Anon can't discipline his brother | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 45664534 17 perccel ezelőt •.. >be me >age 7 >have a 2 year old younger brother >i occasionally smack him to discipline him when he annoys me or does something The mnt popular imagr on pol during oir colle e least tare Pepe. wrong >parents yell at me >they say one should never, ever do that to a child 24,3 kB JPG Fast forward 15 years >my parents get a dog for the first time >it's a small puppy >they occasionally smack the puppy to discipline it, e.g. if he pees in the house Fast forward 2 years >the dog is now one of the most well behaved dogs in the whole neighborhood >my brother is a drug addict I f------ hate normies and their hypocricy
Anonymous | 45664534 17 perccel ezelőt •.. >be me >age 7 >have a 2 year old younger brother >i occasionally smack him to discipline him when he annoys me or does something The mnt popular imagr on pol during oir colle e least tare Pepe. wrong >parents yell at me >they say one should never, ever do that to a child 24,3 kB JPG Fast forward 15 years >my parents get a dog for the first time >it's a small puppy >they occasionally smack the puppy to discipline it, e.g. if he pees in the house Fast forward 2 years >the dog is now one of the most well behaved dogs in the whole neighborhood >my brother is a drug addict I f------ hate normies and their hypocricy

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anon is turning into a filthy normie | /r/Greentext

I am dating and SJW cutie and turning into a filthy normie. Anon Becomes >Be me A Normie >24 >Upset Trump lost >Go for a walk (Thursday) >Starts thinking about life >Joke about injecting hormones and 84 KB JPG becoming a degen t----- while seething. >Goes home >Thinks it's time to take my girlfriend search seriously >Opens Bumble >Swipes >Sees cute sjw 19 year old girl with gender nonsense and BLM on her profile. >kek. >Maybe trolling while I look isn't so bad. >Swipes right >Match >She messages me instantly >l pull out my 4chan normie trope by talking about star wars >l tease her >she responds my making fun of her self >Oh no. >She has a sense of humour. >Arrange to meet at the park in 2 (social distancing date) days. >Wow! >She looks nicer irl >We played frisbee at the park >We ordered some food >More Star Wars and Marvel Larp. >She shows me her cringy cosplay >l tease her >She laughs at herself >I like her a lot. >l stop believing in 4chan social dynamics >l stop believing in conspiracy theories >I like Biden >l slowly accept progressivism >what is happening to me. >l am becoming an NPC. >I like it.
I am dating and SJW cutie and turning into a filthy normie. Anon Becomes >Be me A Normie >24 >Upset Trump lost >Go for a walk (Thursday) >Starts thinking about life >Joke about injecting hormones and 84 KB JPG becoming a degen t----- while seething. >Goes home >Thinks it's time to take my girlfriend search seriously >Opens Bumble >Swipes >Sees cute sjw 19 year old girl with gender nonsense and BLM on her profile. >kek. >Maybe trolling while I look isn't so bad. >Swipes right >Match >She messages me instantly >l pull out my 4chan normie trope by talking about star wars >l tease her >she responds my making fun of her self >Oh no. >She has a sense of humour. >Arrange to meet at the park in 2 (social distancing date) days. >Wow! >She looks nicer irl >We played frisbee at the park >We ordered some food >More Star Wars and Marvel Larp. >She shows me her cringy cosplay >l tease her >She laughs at herself >I like her a lot. >l stop believing in 4chan social dynamics >l stop believing in conspiracy theories >I like Biden >l slowly accept progressivism >what is happening to me. >l am becoming an NPC. >I like it.

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Anon helps, from imgur | /r/Greentext

>be me >try a chinese outlet on outskirts of my city >order noodles >best noodle i have ever tasted >tell the owner >he thanked me and said not many people come here and he is struggling >thinks to help him because of his kind nature >post it on my city's subreddit >not many people upvotes it but some say they will try >word of mouth explodes in the city >go again after a month to erase the craving but there's a huge line >mfw I have to wait 50 minutes for my order
>be me >try a chinese outlet on outskirts of my city >order noodles >best noodle i have ever tasted >tell the owner >he thanked me and said not many people come here and he is struggling >thinks to help him because of his kind nature >post it on my city's subreddit >not many people upvotes it but some say they will try >word of mouth explodes in the city >go again after a month to erase the craving but there's a huge line >mfw I have to wait 50 minutes for my order

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Anon is a helpful brother | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 792698618 50 min ago .. >be me, 26 m a few years ago >little sister calls me to ask if I can buy Girl Scout cookies >buy two boxes of thin mints >idea.png >tell little sister l'll make her tons of money >tell her to let me handle everything >turn on my computer >l'm a f------ genius >start selling "mystery boxes" through the dark web 81.4 kB JPG >there's an estimate shipment date of 2-3 weeks for the cookies to arrive >l sell a mystery box for $200 a pop >End up selling about 60-70 mystery boxes in three days >tell my sister >she is super happy >feelsgoodman >sister sold the most and got some award >mfw I operated an underground cookie ring >mfwI got contacted by the local police for shipping all those boxes of Girl Scout cookies but proved there was nothing illegal about it
Anonymous | 792698618 50 min ago .. >be me, 26 m a few years ago >little sister calls me to ask if I can buy Girl Scout cookies >buy two boxes of thin mints >idea.png >tell little sister l'll make her tons of money >tell her to let me handle everything >turn on my computer >l'm a f------ genius >start selling "mystery boxes" through the dark web 81.4 kB JPG >there's an estimate shipment date of 2-3 weeks for the cookies to arrive >l sell a mystery box for $200 a pop >End up selling about 60-70 mystery boxes in three days >tell my sister >she is super happy >feelsgoodman >sister sold the most and got some award >mfw I operated an underground cookie ring >mfwI got contacted by the local police for shipping all those boxes of Girl Scout cookies but proved there was nothing illegal about it

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Thus vibed Zarathustra | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: LIRIZTAZ 01/04/16(Mon)03:15:22 No.59990782 >be nietzsche >recognize early in life that nihilism is going to be the bane of human existence 115 KB JPG >work desperately to show that there can be a pursuit of meaning in spite of the collapse of religion >write yourself into a philosophy-induced nervous breakdown trying to show that we can overcome nihilism by pursuing passion, art, self-ownership and struggle >100+ years later >f----- teenagers think that you are a nihilist and claim to use your philosophy to justify hedonistic meaningless living
: Anonymous (ID: LIRIZTAZ 01/04/16(Mon)03:15:22 No.59990782 >be nietzsche >recognize early in life that nihilism is going to be the bane of human existence 115 KB JPG >work desperately to show that there can be a pursuit of meaning in spite of the collapse of religion >write yourself into a philosophy-induced nervous breakdown trying to show that we can overcome nihilism by pursuing passion, art, self-ownership and struggle >100+ years later >f----- teenagers think that you are a nihilist and claim to use your philosophy to justify hedonistic meaningless living

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Anon Is Charming | /r/Greentext

>be me >btfo'd by tinder >about to give up >Get a match, my first and only >she seems fun and really attractive >coom.tiff >she send me the first message 43 KB JPG saying that my dog looks really cute >be really f------ nervous >get anxious cause I don't wanna screw this up but don't know how to follow the conversation >mentalbreakdown.mp4 >read articles about what to say to a tinder match and watch youtube videos on how to flirt >be 5 hours later >don't want to waste any more time without replying cause I don't want her to unmatch and I already got hyped about having my first date >decide to just keep it simple and give her a compliment >tell her she looks really cute, like a younger version of my mother >bitch unmatches >mentalbreakdownelectricbogaloo.wav Anons it was just ONE f------ message how the F--- does anyone manage to go on a date with women on this f------ app. How the f--- are their standars that f------ high
>be me >btfo'd by tinder >about to give up >Get a match, my first and only >she seems fun and really attractive >coom.tiff >she send me the first message 43 KB JPG saying that my dog looks really cute >be really f------ nervous >get anxious cause I don't wanna screw this up but don't know how to follow the conversation >mentalbreakdown.mp4 >read articles about what to say to a tinder match and watch youtube videos on how to flirt >be 5 hours later >don't want to waste any more time without replying cause I don't want her to unmatch and I already got hyped about having my first date >decide to just keep it simple and give her a compliment >tell her she looks really cute, like a younger version of my mother >bitch unmatches >mentalbreakdownelectricbogaloo.wav Anons it was just ONE f------ message how the F--- does anyone manage to go on a date with women on this f------ app. How the f--- are their standars that f------ high

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Anon makes a joke | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/29/22(Sat)19:58:42 No.871628556 >be me >two weeks ago get hired as a paramedic at a fire department >things are going good >really like my partner >he has the same sense of humor as me >last night 2 am >we get sent to a woman who was beaten by 58 KB PNG her boyfriend >her boyfriend is obviously black >clean her up but she doesn't want to go with us >get back in the rig >partner says "that's depressing as f---" >without thinking say >"we'll you know what they say, burn the coal pay the toll" >then I start laughing cause it was a joke >he looked p----- but didn't say anything >i tried apologizing but he still didn't say anything >this morning as I was leaving I saw him walking into chiefs office What do I do? I'm scared I just f----- myself. No one has called me yet but I'm scared when I come in on Monday they're going to fire me. How can I salvage this before I get blacklisted
: Anonymous 01/29/22(Sat)19:58:42 No.871628556 >be me >two weeks ago get hired as a paramedic at a fire department >things are going good >really like my partner >he has the same sense of humor as me >last night 2 am >we get sent to a woman who was beaten by 58 KB PNG her boyfriend >her boyfriend is obviously black >clean her up but she doesn't want to go with us >get back in the rig >partner says "that's depressing as f---" >without thinking say >"we'll you know what they say, burn the coal pay the toll" >then I start laughing cause it was a joke >he looked p----- but didn't say anything >i tried apologizing but he still didn't say anything >this morning as I was leaving I saw him walking into chiefs office What do I do? I'm scared I just f----- myself. No one has called me yet but I'm scared when I come in on Monday they're going to fire me. How can I salvage this before I get blacklisted

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Anon gets a Christmas present | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Tue 18 Jun 2019 20:56:17 No.466992079 View Reply Original Report >be me >turn 23 >doorbell rings >it's my grandma >"Happy birthday, anon!" >gives me a HUGE gondola doll (pic related) >"I sewed you this woollen toy. I was looking at your Facebook with your mom wondering what you might like and we repeatedly saw this character so I decided to make you one!" Can someone please tell me what the f--- just happened, vI? Am I dreaming right now? View Same Google iqdb SauceNAO 4 gondola2.jpg, 101KIB, 960x1280 98KIB, 960x1280, gondola.jpg View Same Google igdb SauceNAO Anonymous Tue 18 Jun 2019 20:56:59 No.466992147 Report Quoted By: >>466992520 >>466993730 >>466994375 >>466994541 >>466994916 >>466995009 >>466995126 There it f------ sits.
Anonymous Tue 18 Jun 2019 20:56:17 No.466992079 View Reply Original Report >be me >turn 23 >doorbell rings >it's my grandma >"Happy birthday, anon!" >gives me a HUGE gondola doll (pic related) >"I sewed you this woollen toy. I was looking at your Facebook with your mom wondering what you might like and we repeatedly saw this character so I decided to make you one!" Can someone please tell me what the f--- just happened, vI? Am I dreaming right now? View Same Google iqdb SauceNAO 4 gondola2.jpg, 101KIB, 960x1280 98KIB, 960x1280, gondola.jpg View Same Google igdb SauceNAO Anonymous Tue 18 Jun 2019 20:56:59 No.466992147 Report Quoted By: >>466992520 >>466993730 >>466994375 >>466994541 >>466994916 >>466995009 >>466995126 There it f------ sits.

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Bottoming out | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Just got topped ama 01/29/22(Sat)16:01:59 No.67201672 >Straight >Downloaded grindr out of curiosity >40 messages in 5 minutes >guys all want pics of my ass >I finally send one with shorts on >Guy invites me over >I lay down on the bed and get 346 KB JPG topped >He says he will be gentle >Hes not Honestly I already regret it. My ass is sore and | have red handprints Never fall for the meme guys.
: Anonymous Just got topped ama 01/29/22(Sat)16:01:59 No.67201672 >Straight >Downloaded grindr out of curiosity >40 messages in 5 minutes >guys all want pics of my ass >I finally send one with shorts on >Guy invites me over >I lay down on the bed and get 346 KB JPG topped >He says he will be gentle >Hes not Honestly I already regret it. My ass is sore and | have red handprints Never fall for the meme guys.

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