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: Anonymous 01/29/22(Sat)19:58:42 No.871628556 >be me >two weeks ago get hired as a paramedic at a fire department >things are going good >really like my partner >he has the same sense of humor as me >last night 2 am >we get sent to a woman who was beaten by 58 KB PNG her boyfriend >her boyfriend is obviously black >clean her up but she doesn't want to go with us >get back in the rig >partner says "that's depressing as f---" >without thinking say >"we'll you know what they say, burn the coal pay the toll" >then I start laughing cause it was a joke >he looked p----- but didn't say anything >i tried apologizing but he still didn't say anything >this morning as I was leaving I saw him walking into chiefs office What do I do? I'm scared I just f----- myself. No one has called me yet but I'm scared when I come in on Monday they're going to fire me. How can I salvage this before I get blacklisted

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Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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Inaqar 137 KB JPG land you protect 12/24/23(Sun)09:54:58 No.91319497 >skilled warriors seen as the main bulwark against dark forces >sons of powerful and intelligent beings of legend >follow the teachings of a golden, almighty Master who created the >sometimes have powers such as shooting fire, lighting, shockwaves, blasts of ice or energy >wield some of the most powerful weapons around >battle beastly green enemies, awakened soulless armies, spirits, undead, malicious versions of yourselves, daemonic forces, and the literal embodiments of evil >wear bright colors to sell plastic toys >be the Ninja from Lego Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu >pic unrelated

Anonymous 10/26/13(Sat) 19:06 No.215457549 File: 1382828761196.jpg-(42 KB, 480x480, 1353212900339.jpg) >My dads face when >"Well have fun" >leaves room >Playing Silent Hill 3 >at the end >dad walks in >"Hey son, what you playing?" >Heather regurgitates a fetus >the other girl picks it up and shoves in his mouth >"I WILL BIRTH THE GOD"

>she stops me, wants to roleplay >blindfolds me, we're playing doctor >kinky but okay >feel pressure around my ass >pull off blindfold 00 Anonymous (ID: zuq0 ITT: Weird sex experiences >be 22 >start dating blonde. 7/10 >shes quirky but fun > dat ass >second date >go to her place >shewantstheD.jpeg >go down on her >things are going well >crazy bitch is shoving 3-4 plastic horses into my a------ >she says my condition is "stable"

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Anon gets a Christmas present | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Tue 18 Jun 2019 20:56:17 No.466992079 View Reply Original Report >be me >turn 23 >doorbell rings >it's my grandma >"Happy birthday, anon!" >gives me a HUGE gondola doll (pic related) >"I sewed you this woollen toy. I was looking at your Facebook with your mom wondering what you might like and we repeatedly saw this character so I decided to make you one!" Can someone please tell me what the f--- just happened, vI? Am I dreaming right now? View Same Google iqdb SauceNAO 4 gondola2.jpg, 101KIB, 960x1280 98KIB, 960x1280, gondola.jpg View Same Google igdb SauceNAO Anonymous Tue 18 Jun 2019 20:56:59 No.466992147 Report Quoted By: >>466992520 >>466993730 >>466994375 >>466994541 >>466994916 >>466995009 >>466995126 There it f------ sits.

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Bottoming out | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Just got topped ama 01/29/22(Sat)16:01:59 No.67201672 >Straight >Downloaded grindr out of curiosity >40 messages in 5 minutes >guys all want pics of my ass >I finally send one with shorts on >Guy invites me over >I lay down on the bed and get 346 KB JPG topped >He says he will be gentle >Hes not Honestly I already regret it. My ass is sore and | have red handprints Never fall for the meme guys.

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Anon educates us on the government | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: NOU94QGN 08/28/21(Sat)11:20:28 No.336511053 >hey >hey guys >hey guys, get this >if you separate your garbage into plastic, paper and glass >if you stop driving your car and 231 KB PNG use public transport instead >if you stop eating meat >if you pay your government more taxes (actually, this one is the most important one) >your government >your government >get this >your government >your government will reduce the temperature of the planet

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anon is in school | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/02/18(Sun)23:36:13 No.778863070 >>778860941 (OP)_# >be me in high school a few years back >go to rich libtard public school where everyone is afraid of being called a racist 39 KB JPG >be in world history teacher having us do busy work while she's on computer >nigs behind me talking one of them uses the word f----- >teacher flips here s--- and goes on a ten minute rant about gay oppression even though she is white and straight >ends the tirade by getting the group of nigs to go to her desk >the whole class can still hear her >she asks how the nigs would feel if she calls them a slur >they look around confused >then she says what's up my n----- >the whole class loses it >even all the nigs are dying Mfw

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{insert title} | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/19(Tue)08:00:36 No.51850751 ITT: depression stories Me: "Does a small mistake My brain: Dad's driving me to school. The day before I had gone to a youth councellor thing. HAE LET TE Ou HATE YOU SHCEI TOLIVE HEA HEN MELIONML.CO-OF MNTED CRCUTS IN WWER TH LAYERS THAT FILL MY COPLE DE NORO HATE AS ENVE O THOSE HNDREDS D S OT BON ON AT THS ONGOTANT FOR YO nt E 106 KB JPG >So anon, mum told me you went to (councillor) >Yeah >Do you think there's anything we could do? >Nah >l-| see Moment of silence >S-sounds like there's something wrong with the tire, l'll go check the air pressure.. >Ok Dad goes behind the car to cry 3 Replies View Thread

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Anon isn't useless afterall | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous FeelsGoodMan thread 07/07/18(Sat)12:51:39 No.46628877 >be me yesterday >start working at the same company as my dad >dad shows me around his lab area and i meet some of his friends >try my best to not be autistic since i dont want to embarrass my dad 192 KB PNG >think i did a pretty good job >had to get back to my part of the lab so i said by and started walking away >badge fell out of my pocket so i had to stop and pick it up once i left the room >overhear one of my dads friends say that my dad has a good son >dad says "Yea, hes grown into a fantastic man and im proud of him" I think i finally made it boys, never thought id see the day where my dad would be proud of who I was

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Anon has their life turned upside down | /r/Greentext

I'm done guys. I'm ready to start over somewhere far from here. IT'S TIME TỔ GIVE UP >be married to my wife for nine years >we have a four year old kid together >before the Pandemic my wife is diagnosed with ovarian cancer 226 KB PNG >she becomes severely depressed, misses a lot of work and eventually loses her job >her condition worsens during 2020 >I work a second job >Realize I need to pick up a third job so start doing remote work on evening and weekends >I'm working 80-90 hours a week, seven days a week >Wife starts getting a bit better in early 2021 >She starts working a part time job >l drop the third job and keep working two jobs, 60- 65 hours a week >Notice she starts growing distant from me >l bring it up and she said that she just doesn't feel pretty anymore >Constantly reaffirm her. Tell her how much I love her and appreciate her >Around Christmas she says she cannot fly back to my home state to see my parents >While I leave and take our kid, I notice she doesn't answer my calls and we only communicate sporadically You all probably know where this is going but two weeks ago... >I hopped on a shared laptop and notice a Gmail alert pop up. She stayed logged into her personal email. >It's an alert for Tinder >l break down and confront her >She admits to seeing some other guy for the past few months >Served me with divorce papers yesterday and is filing for full custody of our kid. Any place other than the United States where you would recommend I move to? If she takes my son from me I have nothing left to live for. I'm going to fight like hell but if I lose, I need a back up plan.

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Anon failed his attempt | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Biggest fumbles 01/29/22(Sat)23:30:25 No.67202045 I'll start >talking with cute girl >ask her if boobs are sensitive like nuts >surprisingly, this absolutely brainless question doesn't immediately anger her and she 135 KB PNG gives straight-forward answer >uses answer to transition into asking me if I want to touch her boobs out of f------ nowhere >n-n-no thanks >continue standard conversation She had really f------ nice t--- too

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Anon doesn't believe | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/29/22(Sat)10:43:36 No.871634693 >round piece of plastic >has scratches in it >put needle on it >it makes sounds???? Aangues Don't tell me y'all actually believe this bs 115 KB JPG

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Anon has valuable fitness advice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)07:18:22 No.62759020 Fancy Feast BOMPLET ALANCED CHICKEN FEAST CLASSIC PATÉ GOURMET CAT FOOD 76011 MAIN._AC_SL1500_V1551805038_.jpg 204 KB JPG >250 calories >42 grams of protein Why the f--- aren't you eating this you stupid f---? $001

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American fear the electric water kettle | /r/Greentext

File: external-content.duckduck(.).jpg (283 KB, 2126x2560) O Anonymous 01/29/22(Sat)05:15:44 No.85433161 ► >>85433238 >>85433242 UP >>85433259 >>85433379 >>85433415 >>85433578 >>85433768 >>85433960 >>85436774 >>85436801 >>85436836 >>85436906 >>85438013 >>85438188 >>85441685 >>85442405 >>85442431 >>85442618 >>85442707 >>85443968 >>85444580 This strikes fear into the hearts of Americans. Anonymous 01/29/22(Sat)05:17:10 No.85433179 SHIIES >>85433214 >>85433231 >>85433243 >>85434274 >>85441659 >plastic parts having any contact with boiling water miss me with that s---

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Is the horse dead, still? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/29/22(Sat)10:35:41 No.871640324 >>871629873 (OP) # >antiwork went from a sub wanting to be about getting better working conditions and pay for wagies >devolves into "work is a scam and i should be able to live without having to work!" >Fox News being shills for billionaires has a literal t----- antiwork mod come on for an interview in attempt to smear work reform >t----- mod looks like (s)he hasn't bathed for a week and spills spaghetti entire interview >Fox News anchor literally doesn't do anything because t----- mod sabotages work reform and now everyone thinks people wanting better working conditions and wages is actually a t----- who wants free money

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Greentext Stories - Anon makes a joke | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous 01/29/22(Sat)19:58:42 No.871628556 >be me >two weeks ago get hired as a paramedic at a fire department >things are going good >really like my partner >he has the same sense of humor as me >last night 2 am >we get sent to a woman who was beaten by 58 KB PNG her boyfriend >her boyfriend is obviously black >clean her up but she doesn't want to go with us >get back in the rig >partner says "that's depressing as f---" >without thinking say >"we'll you know what they say, burn the coal pay the toll" >then I start laughing cause it was a joke >he looked p----- but didn't say anything >i tried apologizing but he still didn't say anything >this morning as I was leaving I saw him walking into chiefs office What do I do? I'm scared I just f----- myself. No one has called me yet but I'm scared when I come in on Monday they're going to fire me. How can I salvage this before I get blacklisted

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Uploaded Jan 30, 2022 at 03:25AM EST

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