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Anon owns some Kraut | /r/Greentext


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Anon understands the rules of 4chan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/11/22(Tue)01:34:47 No.870419314 >live in non us extradition country >can fake american accent well >have caller id spoofer >swat literally dozens of random amerifats in small towns >feel untouchable 154 KB JPG >mfw : Anonymous 01/11/22(Tue)01:36:42 No.870419430 >>870419314 (OP) # >The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. >Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
: Anonymous 01/11/22(Tue)01:34:47 No.870419314 >live in non us extradition country >can fake american accent well >have caller id spoofer >swat literally dozens of random amerifats in small towns >feel untouchable 154 KB JPG >mfw : Anonymous 01/11/22(Tue)01:36:42 No.870419430 >>870419314 (OP) # >The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. >Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

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Anon shaves his jewels | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/19/22(Wed)04:30:00 No.162548972 >be shaving balls >slice open sack >one of balls falls out and rolls out the door my >cat eats it Every time
: Anonymous 01/19/22(Wed)04:30:00 No.162548972 >be shaving balls >slice open sack >one of balls falls out and rolls out the door my >cat eats it Every time

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Anon is a virgin | /r/Greentext

Board /b/- Random v Settings Home Anonymous (ID: 86CV+14z 09/10/14(Wed)20:17:30 No.568048234 Yo did I just f--- up? I'm 95% certain I did. >girl I know is nursing student >solid 9/10 >tells me she knows how to test 38 KB JPG for testicular cancer and can show me >tell her I learned in health class in high school and can do myself I'm pretty sure I'm a f------ idiot
Board /b/- Random v Settings Home Anonymous (ID: 86CV+14z 09/10/14(Wed)20:17:30 No.568048234 Yo did I just f--- up? I'm 95% certain I did. >girl I know is nursing student >solid 9/10 >tells me she knows how to test 38 KB JPG for testicular cancer and can show me >tell her I learned in health class in high school and can do myself I'm pretty sure I'm a f------ idiot

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Anon plays a game of checkers | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/18/22(Tue)17:49:29 No.870940254 >be me >playing Norwegian checkers against with the homeless man who lives under my porch >i accidentally make an illegal move >he unsheathes his katana and challenges me to a duel >i accept, and pull the greatsword from 34 KB JPG my back >winnerwinnerchickendinner.bat >as per the rules of the game, his second takes his place in the game >his second is a raccoon does anybody have any tips on how to beat a raccoon in Norwegian checkers? it's halftime right now, but he's been kicking my ass and if i lose the Elder One will revoke my powers
: Anonymous 01/18/22(Tue)17:49:29 No.870940254 >be me >playing Norwegian checkers against with the homeless man who lives under my porch >i accidentally make an illegal move >he unsheathes his katana and challenges me to a duel >i accept, and pull the greatsword from 34 KB JPG my back >winnerwinnerchickendinner.bat >as per the rules of the game, his second takes his place in the game >his second is a raccoon does anybody have any tips on how to beat a raccoon in Norwegian checkers? it's halftime right now, but he's been kicking my ass and if i lose the Elder One will revoke my powers

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Point of no return. | /r/Greentext

File: cover1.jpg (70 KB, 800x450) Anonymous 01/19/22(Wed)01:17:30 No.870941750 >be me 22, normal guy >be friends with a girl since childhood, never had anything sexual with her, just good company. Lets call her anonette >lately, she calls less and less, and when I message her, she was always answering with low effort >assume she is busy, and give her some space, she can reach out for me anytime if she is ready >meet with my bros, one of them asks me about anonette, and why she isn't around anymore >"idk, she just has no time or whatever, ask her herself." >week later bud hits me up, tells me he really messaged her, and she told him "f--- off scrote" >weeks pass, one day, I see her in the mall, almost didn't recognize her >shaved her head >wears blue lipstick >her shirt says "female power" >l do a U-turn, and leave the mall What the f---?
File: cover1.jpg (70 KB, 800x450) Anonymous 01/19/22(Wed)01:17:30 No.870941750 >be me 22, normal guy >be friends with a girl since childhood, never had anything sexual with her, just good company. Lets call her anonette >lately, she calls less and less, and when I message her, she was always answering with low effort >assume she is busy, and give her some space, she can reach out for me anytime if she is ready >meet with my bros, one of them asks me about anonette, and why she isn't around anymore >"idk, she just has no time or whatever, ask her herself." >week later bud hits me up, tells me he really messaged her, and she told him "f--- off scrote" >weeks pass, one day, I see her in the mall, almost didn't recognize her >shaved her head >wears blue lipstick >her shirt says "female power" >l do a U-turn, and leave the mall What the f---?

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Anon meets Oldie Gamer | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No.46107197 1 hour ago >fixing notebook for a ~70 years old lady >comes, pays, asks about gaming tier GPUS for her desktop >little took back I inquire about the price range and what games, solitaire, sudoku, puzzle games... >nope, I play the Assasin >Assassin's creed? >yes, on my grandsons console, I just love Venice >she pauses >and killing people 3 replies ...
Anonymous No.46107197 1 hour ago >fixing notebook for a ~70 years old lady >comes, pays, asks about gaming tier GPUS for her desktop >little took back I inquire about the price range and what games, solitaire, sudoku, puzzle games... >nope, I play the Assasin >Assassin's creed? >yes, on my grandsons console, I just love Venice >she pauses >and killing people 3 replies ...

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Best Hero Ever | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/29/19(Tue)17:43:55 No.791278765 >help millions with depression >be ranked as best artist in your career >donate to charities >help the homeless, generally be a good guy >be mourned by people across the planet >be bob ross >pic unrelated
Anonymous 01/29/19(Tue)17:43:55 No.791278765 >help millions with depression >be ranked as best artist in your career >donate to charities >help the homeless, generally be a good guy >be mourned by people across the planet >be bob ross >pic unrelated

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Anon is retarded | /r/Greentext

01/19/22(Wed)01:56:12 No.870934032 : Anonymous >so uh yeah basically you press a bunch of buttons and out of CHIAND nowhere you are talking with someone thousands of miles NOKIA 12:22 away They didn't even try and make it believable 27 KB JPG ENGLISH NOKIA Rokia
01/19/22(Wed)01:56:12 No.870934032 : Anonymous >so uh yeah basically you press a bunch of buttons and out of CHIAND nowhere you are talking with someone thousands of miles NOKIA 12:22 away They didn't even try and make it believable 27 KB JPG ENGLISH NOKIA Rokia

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Anon did nothing wrong | /r/Greentext

>be me >school bully is this fat f------ whale >her parents are probably retarded and named her "Leranza" >everyone calls her "Ler" for short. >in gym class, playing dodgeball. >Ler is on my team >runs at me at her full speed, barey faster than a snail. >still knocks me down because she's a 400 pound behemoth >gym teacher does nothing because public school >next day >"SORRY I HURT YOU YESTERDAY, BUT WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING NEXT TIME!" the fat bitch roared. >l'm fed up at this point. >decide to put my karate training back in third grade to good use and slap her clean across the face >barely left a mark >she runs for a teacher, but once again public school. >another kid bullied by her high fives me and says, "good job hitting her, that was awesome!" >dont feel bad because she is the school bully >I hit ler, did nothing wrong.
>be me >school bully is this fat f------ whale >her parents are probably retarded and named her "Leranza" >everyone calls her "Ler" for short. >in gym class, playing dodgeball. >Ler is on my team >runs at me at her full speed, barey faster than a snail. >still knocks me down because she's a 400 pound behemoth >gym teacher does nothing because public school >next day >"SORRY I HURT YOU YESTERDAY, BUT WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING NEXT TIME!" the fat bitch roared. >l'm fed up at this point. >decide to put my karate training back in third grade to good use and slap her clean across the face >barely left a mark >she runs for a teacher, but once again public school. >another kid bullied by her high fives me and says, "good job hitting her, that was awesome!" >dont feel bad because she is the school bully >I hit ler, did nothing wrong.

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Anon breathes again | /r/Greentext

>be me >breathed air >air had dust >dust contains skin cells -Boy with good suce >skin is on vagina >also on penis >basically had a threesome 33 KB PNG >basically bisexual Later,virgins
>be me >breathed air >air had dust >dust contains skin cells -Boy with good suce >skin is on vagina >also on penis >basically had a threesome 33 KB PNG >basically bisexual Later,virgins

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Anon walks into a bar | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/18/22(Tue)23:07:02 No.870931514 >ls it gay, when I have sexual intercourse with a man? Yes. >But he wears dresses and stockings, is it still gay? Yes. 123 KB JPG >He gives me b------- only, still gay? Yes. >I f--- an onahole in his ass, still gay? YES. Every sexual intercourse with a male is gay. Now what do you want to drink?
: Anonymous 01/18/22(Tue)23:07:02 No.870931514 >ls it gay, when I have sexual intercourse with a man? Yes. >But he wears dresses and stockings, is it still gay? Yes. 123 KB JPG >He gives me b------- only, still gay? Yes. >I f--- an onahole in his ass, still gay? YES. Every sexual intercourse with a male is gay. Now what do you want to drink?

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Anon got tricked | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Settings Mobile Home : Anonymous 01/18/22(Tue)03:33:00 No.67038587 >be me >on tinder >have a beatiful german shepherd >now bitches like dogs so upload a lot of pics with my dog >get some matches all talking about my dog but ultimately unmatch when we are 56 KB JPG getting to know each other >match with some 10/10 QT 3.1416 >can't believe my eyes >she's really into my dog as usual but when we get to know each other she's really interested >want proof that she's real but don't wanna come off as insecure >starts talking about sex >brain was on coom at the time so didn't see the obvious catfish >she starts talking about sexual fetishes then mentions my dog >decide to have some fun and role-play (not something I would do) about inviting her over and getting cucked by my dog >coom and then she wants to actually set up a date >agree on a time and place >be at the coffee shop excited cause it's the first time a hot chick is interested in me >tell her where I'm sitting and what I'm wearing so she can find me easily >group of teenagers come in recording and laughing like retards >are you "anon"? >be confused as f--- >they keep asking me if I was the man who wanted to a girl to f--- his dog >realize I've been trolled >no time to cry because I have to escape >keep denying everything but they say they have the screenshots of the whole conversation and my tinder pics >be leaving >they keep following me and laughing like mongoloids >get in my car and leave before they gang up on me It's only a matter of time before it's posted on tiktok or some s--- anons. Its f------ over
Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Settings Mobile Home : Anonymous 01/18/22(Tue)03:33:00 No.67038587 >be me >on tinder >have a beatiful german shepherd >now bitches like dogs so upload a lot of pics with my dog >get some matches all talking about my dog but ultimately unmatch when we are 56 KB JPG getting to know each other >match with some 10/10 QT 3.1416 >can't believe my eyes >she's really into my dog as usual but when we get to know each other she's really interested >want proof that she's real but don't wanna come off as insecure >starts talking about sex >brain was on coom at the time so didn't see the obvious catfish >she starts talking about sexual fetishes then mentions my dog >decide to have some fun and role-play (not something I would do) about inviting her over and getting cucked by my dog >coom and then she wants to actually set up a date >agree on a time and place >be at the coffee shop excited cause it's the first time a hot chick is interested in me >tell her where I'm sitting and what I'm wearing so she can find me easily >group of teenagers come in recording and laughing like retards >are you "anon"? >be confused as f--- >they keep asking me if I was the man who wanted to a girl to f--- his dog >realize I've been trolled >no time to cry because I have to escape >keep denying everything but they say they have the screenshots of the whole conversation and my tinder pics >be leaving >they keep following me and laughing like mongoloids >get in my car and leave before they gang up on me It's only a matter of time before it's posted on tiktok or some s--- anons. Its f------ over

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Anon is a hydro homie | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/18/22(Tue)05:58:09 No.870912723 >be me >human >needs water to survive >drinks water >survives
: Anonymous 01/18/22(Tue)05:58:09 No.870912723 >be me >human >needs water to survive >drinks water >survives

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No homo right? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/18/22(Tue)14:57:25 No.870930993 >go to bar to pick up girls >Huge ripped man twice my size offers to buy me a drink >Too scared/awkward to tell him I'm not gay >Drink his drink and touch his arm just for curiosity >H-------- it's like a rock shutterstock.com - 247363204 14 KB JPG >Imagine I'm a female and how turned on l'd have gotten >Actually get turned on >?? >Guy seems a bro, honestly >Talk about football >He invites me home >Has a car >Don't want to take the bus home anyway since it's so cold >Agree >Tesla.vscode >Once home he's all over me >Too introverted to tell him no >Whisper "no h---" with every thrust >Almost c-- once >Says he's falling for me >Still too awkward to tell him I'm straight >What do I do now?
: Anonymous 01/18/22(Tue)14:57:25 No.870930993 >go to bar to pick up girls >Huge ripped man twice my size offers to buy me a drink >Too scared/awkward to tell him I'm not gay >Drink his drink and touch his arm just for curiosity >H-------- it's like a rock shutterstock.com - 247363204 14 KB JPG >Imagine I'm a female and how turned on l'd have gotten >Actually get turned on >?? >Guy seems a bro, honestly >Talk about football >He invites me home >Has a car >Don't want to take the bus home anyway since it's so cold >Agree >Tesla.vscode >Once home he's all over me >Too introverted to tell him no >Whisper "no h---" with every thrust >Almost c-- once >Says he's falling for me >Still too awkward to tell him I'm straight >What do I do now?

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Anon wins an argument | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/14/22(Fri)21:44:57 No.870692050 >>870691099 # >be me >14 years old or whatever >just finished jacking off to gay furry m----- scat p--- >decide to stay up past my bedtime because friday >4chantime.gif >go on /b/ >see some f----- greentext >lol xd >click on thread >somebody doesn't find le greentext as funny as i do >wot >argue with internet stranger over the validity of the post >he makes a point >cant refute it >"ok kid" >chuckle to myself >i know ive won this battle >mom comes into my room and tells me her and dad are getting divorced >dont care, im basically Lord of the Internet
: Anonymous 01/14/22(Fri)21:44:57 No.870692050 >>870691099 # >be me >14 years old or whatever >just finished jacking off to gay furry m----- scat p--- >decide to stay up past my bedtime because friday >4chantime.gif >go on /b/ >see some f----- greentext >lol xd >click on thread >somebody doesn't find le greentext as funny as i do >wot >argue with internet stranger over the validity of the post >he makes a point >cant refute it >"ok kid" >chuckle to myself >i know ive won this battle >mom comes into my room and tells me her and dad are getting divorced >dont care, im basically Lord of the Internet

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Anon's name is Floogus | /r/Greentext

File: 10E2BFA0-A1C9-45F2-8D2A-A(...).jpg (11 KB, 251x242) Anonymous 01/17/22(Mon)22:31:43 No.67034271 >>67034452 >>67034509 >one shot at life >parents name me Floogus >> Anonymous 01/17/22(Mon)22:33:56 No.67034296 kys redditfag
File: 10E2BFA0-A1C9-45F2-8D2A-A(...).jpg (11 KB, 251x242) Anonymous 01/17/22(Mon)22:31:43 No.67034271 >>67034452 >>67034509 >one shot at life >parents name me Floogus >> Anonymous 01/17/22(Mon)22:33:56 No.67034296 kys redditfag

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Anon becomes bilingual | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/14/18(Thu)23:24:54 No.46119625 > study a foreign language in secret > study really hard for a couple of years, vocabulary, grammar, the whole nine yards > never tella soul > hide all of your resources for the 46 KB JPG target language > talk with native speakers using an alternate skype / discord but never tell them about your life so as to not trace back to you > become a master of this language > one day, go to public place like grocery store > pretend to slip / fall / feint > when you come to, only speak in your target language and act like you don't understand english anymore
: Anonymous 06/14/18(Thu)23:24:54 No.46119625 > study a foreign language in secret > study really hard for a couple of years, vocabulary, grammar, the whole nine yards > never tella soul > hide all of your resources for the 46 KB JPG target language > talk with native speakers using an alternate skype / discord but never tell them about your life so as to not trace back to you > become a master of this language > one day, go to public place like grocery store > pretend to slip / fall / feint > when you come to, only speak in your target language and act like you don't understand english anymore

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Anon questions the number 0 | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No.21281618 31 minutes ago The concept of "zero" makes no sense because you cannot have nothing. Why do we even have a 0 in our number system? 6 replies Anonymous No.21281656 29 minutes ago >>21281618 (OP) How many girls have you kissed?
Anonymous No.21281618 31 minutes ago The concept of "zero" makes no sense because you cannot have nothing. Why do we even have a 0 in our number system? 6 replies Anonymous No.21281656 29 minutes ago >>21281618 (OP) How many girls have you kissed?

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Anon tries to shit on a prostitute | /r/Greentext


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