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Anon is upset about Dr. Eggman | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/05/21(Mon)19:20:29 No.858440651 >incredibly intelligent man >builds crazy ass machines >turns random animals into self sustaining robots >hacks the US government to threaten the president in his limo >builds industrialized cities over 101 KB PNG night >built a f------ death star not once, not twice, but over three times >blew up half of the moon >conquered and destroyed the world multiple times >harnessed the power of the universe with a few diamond cut gems >gets his ass beat every time bya hedgehog that moves fast What the f--- is this b------- Sega?
: Anonymous 07/05/21(Mon)19:20:29 No.858440651 >incredibly intelligent man >builds crazy ass machines >turns random animals into self sustaining robots >hacks the US government to threaten the president in his limo >builds industrialized cities over 101 KB PNG night >built a f------ death star not once, not twice, but over three times >blew up half of the moon >conquered and destroyed the world multiple times >harnessed the power of the universe with a few diamond cut gems >gets his ass beat every time bya hedgehog that moves fast What the f--- is this b------- Sega?

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Anon works at Wendy's | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >>11002639 (OP) # >be me >16 years old >first job is at Wendy's >only work there because the girl I orbit works there >manager is creepy old guy named Mike >constantly trying to fit in with all the teenagers but is clearly autistic >hates all the male employees, simps over all the female employees >halloween comes >Mike has the idea that all the boys should dress like girls and all the girls should dress like boys >he demands that one of the girls bring him one of her shirts >she actually does it >no one else dressed up >my fat middle aged manager is working while wearing a teenage girl belly shirt >visibly has an erection throughout the entire shift >can't believe how creepy this guy is >25 years pass >now i'm like Mike >>11002696 # >>11002708 # >>11002929 # >>11006941 # >>11015899 # >>11019736 # >>11020886 #
: Anonymous >>11002639 (OP) # >be me >16 years old >first job is at Wendy's >only work there because the girl I orbit works there >manager is creepy old guy named Mike >constantly trying to fit in with all the teenagers but is clearly autistic >hates all the male employees, simps over all the female employees >halloween comes >Mike has the idea that all the boys should dress like girls and all the girls should dress like boys >he demands that one of the girls bring him one of her shirts >she actually does it >no one else dressed up >my fat middle aged manager is working while wearing a teenage girl belly shirt >visibly has an erection throughout the entire shift >can't believe how creepy this guy is >25 years pass >now i'm like Mike >>11002696 # >>11002708 # >>11002929 # >>11006941 # >>11015899 # >>11019736 # >>11020886 #

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Anon discovers Reddit! | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: mz20POFe 01/16/17(Mon)18:36:57 No.107430086 Before internet >i want to f--- toasters >dont be a f------ retard >grow up After internet >l want to f--- a toaster >google >find a community with 1000+ members about people wanting to f--- toasters >f--- up your life >>107430609 #
: Anonymous (ID: mz20POFe 01/16/17(Mon)18:36:57 No.107430086 Before internet >i want to f--- toasters >dont be a f------ retard >grow up After internet >l want to f--- a toaster >google >find a community with 1000+ members about people wanting to f--- toasters >f--- up your life >>107430609 #

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/b/secret's thread | /r/Greentext

File: 1626118379529.jpg (32 KB, 500x333) Anonymous 07/25/21(Sun)21:55:27 No.859694460 >>859695407 >>859695999 WE ALL HAVE SECRETS >>859696699 >>859696710 >>859699474 >>859701496 >>859705589 >>859705918 >>859707489 >>859710333 >>859712997 >>859715138 >>859717279 >>859719531 >859719596 >859720254 >>859722470 >859723994 Alright f------, listen up. I want your secrets before the f------ glowies show up and take them. >> Anonymous 07/25/21(Sun)22:08:48 No.859695105 >859695185 >>859699860 I'm a software engineer and I work two remote jobs. Neither know that l'm working a second job. In all I pull down around 240,000 a year. Anonymous 07/25/21(Sun)22:22:28 No.859695780 >>859723016 >859696539 >859719560 I broke into a ghetto high school in my town and poured heavy extra duty laxative powder into the instant grits for lunch the next day. A kid at the school payed me 2500 to do it because he had a scat fetish, so I brought McDonald's for me and him and we watched all the slope headed gangster nogoids slurp down their grits. Not too much later n----- are screaming left and right, people are pulling down pants and just s------- all over their legs and the floor. Watched a dude with red dreads and tattoos fill his underwear with liquid s---
File: 1626118379529.jpg (32 KB, 500x333) Anonymous 07/25/21(Sun)21:55:27 No.859694460 >>859695407 >>859695999 WE ALL HAVE SECRETS >>859696699 >>859696710 >>859699474 >>859701496 >>859705589 >>859705918 >>859707489 >>859710333 >>859712997 >>859715138 >>859717279 >>859719531 >859719596 >859720254 >>859722470 >859723994 Alright f------, listen up. I want your secrets before the f------ glowies show up and take them. >> Anonymous 07/25/21(Sun)22:08:48 No.859695105 >859695185 >>859699860 I'm a software engineer and I work two remote jobs. Neither know that l'm working a second job. In all I pull down around 240,000 a year. Anonymous 07/25/21(Sun)22:22:28 No.859695780 >>859723016 >859696539 >859719560 I broke into a ghetto high school in my town and poured heavy extra duty laxative powder into the instant grits for lunch the next day. A kid at the school payed me 2500 to do it because he had a scat fetish, so I brought McDonald's for me and him and we watched all the slope headed gangster nogoids slurp down their grits. Not too much later n----- are screaming left and right, people are pulling down pants and just s------- all over their legs and the floor. Watched a dude with red dreads and tattoos fill his underwear with liquid s---

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Anon is Bowser | /r/Greentext


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Snake in the grass | /r/Greentext


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Anon donates to charity | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/14/21(Tue)18:13:26 No.868620652 >be me >walking out of store >hot chick runs up to me >claims she's with charity or some s--- >she gives me the rundown about how I should donate 352 KB JPG >I start laying jokes down >she's laughing and smiling >touching my arm and s--- >l f----- got this boys >ask her for her number >she laughs and says she doesn't have a phone but if I donate maybe she could afford one >drop $1000 right there for the donation and give her my number on a piece of paper >she says thank you all giggly >walk away feeling like a god It's been like a week now but I just know today will be the day she calls
: Anonymous 12/14/21(Tue)18:13:26 No.868620652 >be me >walking out of store >hot chick runs up to me >claims she's with charity or some s--- >she gives me the rundown about how I should donate 352 KB JPG >I start laying jokes down >she's laughing and smiling >touching my arm and s--- >l f----- got this boys >ask her for her number >she laughs and says she doesn't have a phone but if I donate maybe she could afford one >drop $1000 right there for the donation and give her my number on a piece of paper >she says thank you all giggly >walk away feeling like a god It's been like a week now but I just know today will be the day she calls

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Anon lays it out | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: (kLJMCmBt 12/14/21(Tue)14:30:40 No.352130638 Forbes @Forbes · Dec 13 F #BREAKING: Biden won't extend student loan relief trib.al/JY7YJBF 2.3К t7 18.2K 4K 1632888583859.png 450 KB PNG >I will forgive $50k in student loans >no wait, I'll forgive $10k in student loans >okay maybe not that, but i'll extend the loan pause Trump implemented >okay its been long enough, go back to paying off your debt, buckos
: Anonymous (ID: (kLJMCmBt 12/14/21(Tue)14:30:40 No.352130638 Forbes @Forbes · Dec 13 F #BREAKING: Biden won't extend student loan relief trib.al/JY7YJBF 2.3К t7 18.2K 4K 1632888583859.png 450 KB PNG >I will forgive $50k in student loans >no wait, I'll forgive $10k in student loans >okay maybe not that, but i'll extend the loan pause Trump implemented >okay its been long enough, go back to paying off your debt, buckos

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Anon takes the christian pill | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/14/21(Tue)21:04:34 No.868629127 Why not take the Christian pil| anons? >Be me 6/10 >Bigger guy but make up for it with personality >Go to Christian College >Girls literally out of my league 307 KB PNG interested in me >Forgive me father.mp3 >Make guys friends who care and help me improve myself >Hey some of this stuff sounds neet >Quit p--- >Feel satisfied with life >Marry a 10/10 redhead >mfw we f--- like rabbits all the time >Lifelong commitment with built in sex >She treats me like the best thins since slice bread >Feels good man Take the Christian pill anons. 8 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 12/14/21(Tue)21:04:34 No.868629127 Why not take the Christian pil| anons? >Be me 6/10 >Bigger guy but make up for it with personality >Go to Christian College >Girls literally out of my league 307 KB PNG interested in me >Forgive me father.mp3 >Make guys friends who care and help me improve myself >Hey some of this stuff sounds neet >Quit p--- >Feel satisfied with life >Marry a 10/10 redhead >mfw we f--- like rabbits all the time >Lifelong commitment with built in sex >She treats me like the best thins since slice bread >Feels good man Take the Christian pill anons. 8 Replies View Thread

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Silence of 163 gigs of videos of lambs being shaved | /r/Greentext

Tech support horror thread? Tech support horror thread. Share your stories. >be me >work at mid-sized software company >IT support >some new guy gets a job as a programmer >claims he has worked at very big projects before >can't name them >fast forward 2 weeks >calls me and claims his computer is crashing every few minutes >walk up to his desk and watch him work until it crashes again >have leenux on a stick with me at all times >boot it up >ask him if he's been visiting any kind of not-so-legit websites >"No man, I'm clean" >gets sweaty and nervous once I browse trough the personal files >Downloads folder has multiple zip's with cryptic names inside them >"I dunno man, they were always there" >one of them is 163GB big >opening it takes almost 10 minutes >tons of folders with russian names >all of them are filled with videos of sheeps being shaved for whatever reason
Tech support horror thread? Tech support horror thread. Share your stories. >be me >work at mid-sized software company >IT support >some new guy gets a job as a programmer >claims he has worked at very big projects before >can't name them >fast forward 2 weeks >calls me and claims his computer is crashing every few minutes >walk up to his desk and watch him work until it crashes again >have leenux on a stick with me at all times >boot it up >ask him if he's been visiting any kind of not-so-legit websites >"No man, I'm clean" >gets sweaty and nervous once I browse trough the personal files >Downloads folder has multiple zip's with cryptic names inside them >"I dunno man, they were always there" >one of them is 163GB big >opening it takes almost 10 minutes >tons of folders with russian names >all of them are filled with videos of sheeps being shaved for whatever reason

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Anon is hongry | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/11/17(Tue)22:54:25 No.9158484 >>9158501 I've been living off 800 calories a day for the last 2 weeks. AMA, or dont, whatever f--- you. O Anonymous 07/11/17(Tue)22:57:18 No.9158501 File: 1477591801645.jpg (3 KB, 126x111) >>9158513 >>9158484 cranky because youre hongry arent you
Anonymous 07/11/17(Tue)22:54:25 No.9158484 >>9158501 I've been living off 800 calories a day for the last 2 weeks. AMA, or dont, whatever f--- you. O Anonymous 07/11/17(Tue)22:57:18 No.9158501 File: 1477591801645.jpg (3 KB, 126x111) >>9158513 >>9158484 cranky because youre hongry arent you

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Just a little wierd.. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/12/21(Sun)14:39:06 No.25466214 My boyfriend will only have sex with me if I pretend l'm dead. The only way he can maintain an erection and actually f--- is if I lay there stiff like a corpse. He said he likes to imagine that he is r----- a dead corpse. How weird is this? 58 KB JPG 4 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 12/12/21(Sun)14:44:26 No.25466243 a little 14 KB JPG
: Anonymous 12/12/21(Sun)14:39:06 No.25466214 My boyfriend will only have sex with me if I pretend l'm dead. The only way he can maintain an erection and actually f--- is if I lay there stiff like a corpse. He said he likes to imagine that he is r----- a dead corpse. How weird is this? 58 KB JPG 4 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 12/12/21(Sun)14:44:26 No.25466243 a little 14 KB JPG

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Anon has a epiphany | /r/Greentext

>Be Me at 12 >hopping like frog down hallway >hit the wall Mfw i realise ive always been retarded 96 КВ PNG
>Be Me at 12 >hopping like frog down hallway >hit the wall Mfw i realise ive always been retarded 96 КВ PNG

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Anon plays Rainbow Six Siege | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/07/19(Tue)19:08:14 No.41407881 >*door open or breach sounds* >*Clang clang clang* >*BWWAAAAAAG!* >*See color white everywhere* >*EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE* 22 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/07/19(Tue)19:09:08 No.41407899 Great thread, truly the best we've had today.
: Anonymous 05/07/19(Tue)19:08:14 No.41407881 >*door open or breach sounds* >*Clang clang clang* >*BWWAAAAAAG!* >*See color white everywhere* >*EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE* 22 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/07/19(Tue)19:09:08 No.41407899 Great thread, truly the best we've had today.

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Anon takes the NPC pill | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/05/21(Mon)11:44:34 No.64448617 Have taken the NPCpill yet, you /r9k/ >Be me, social retard >Work is always difficult because I literally can't make friends >Never have any idea what to talk about 89 KB JPG >Like the idea of camping >Decide I'm going to be the Camp Bro NPC >No matter what, no matter how minor the question or subject is at work, always tie in camping or at minimum a camping pun >Any time I'm away from my desk I put a "Gone Fishing" sign up >Start to wear plaid and camo, drink my coffee out of a thermos >People are annoyed at first, but ignore it >Eventually people start to talk to me about camping, asking for places, ideas, how to do stuff >Start to make friends, coworkers want to do a BBQ by the river and invite me and have me help plan it >it goes great and I b------- my way through everything >"Whoa, you're a pretty cool guy, anon!" >mfw I've never been camping and just browse /out/ too much 6 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 07/05/21(Mon)11:44:34 No.64448617 Have taken the NPCpill yet, you /r9k/ >Be me, social retard >Work is always difficult because I literally can't make friends >Never have any idea what to talk about 89 KB JPG >Like the idea of camping >Decide I'm going to be the Camp Bro NPC >No matter what, no matter how minor the question or subject is at work, always tie in camping or at minimum a camping pun >Any time I'm away from my desk I put a "Gone Fishing" sign up >Start to wear plaid and camo, drink my coffee out of a thermos >People are annoyed at first, but ignore it >Eventually people start to talk to me about camping, asking for places, ideas, how to do stuff >Start to make friends, coworkers want to do a BBQ by the river and invite me and have me help plan it >it goes great and I b------- my way through everything >"Whoa, you're a pretty cool guy, anon!" >mfw I've never been camping and just browse /out/ too much 6 Replies View Thread

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Is anon a redditor | /r/Greentext

>hate trannies >post non stop t----- p--- >hate "degenerates" >make the most vile posts imaginable >hate fake media >post nonsensical conspiracy theories all the time like they're facts 7 KB JPG >be 4chan frog : Anonymous 12/14/21(Tue)09:54:44 No.868595011 : Anonymous 12/14/21(Tue)09:55:13 No.868595027 >>868594904 (OP) # kill youself redditor f--
>hate trannies >post non stop t----- p--- >hate "degenerates" >make the most vile posts imaginable >hate fake media >post nonsensical conspiracy theories all the time like they're facts 7 KB JPG >be 4chan frog : Anonymous 12/14/21(Tue)09:54:44 No.868595011 : Anonymous 12/14/21(Tue)09:55:13 No.868595027 >>868594904 (OP) # kill youself redditor f--

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Anon feels superiour | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/07/18(Fri)11:52:30 No.786777683 ITT times you were accidentally racist > be me highschool towards the end of the year > free day in class, everyone's on their phones > notice everyone has iPhones 870 KB GIF > buddy next to me has the only other Android in the room > buddy notices too > "Android master race, Yeah!" *fist bump* > looks around again > angrystares.png > buddy and I are only white people in the room > they didn't hear us say "Android" > mfw
: Anonymous 12/07/18(Fri)11:52:30 No.786777683 ITT times you were accidentally racist > be me highschool towards the end of the year > free day in class, everyone's on their phones > notice everyone has iPhones 870 KB GIF > buddy next to me has the only other Android in the room > buddy notices too > "Android master race, Yeah!" *fist bump* > looks around again > angrystares.png > buddy and I are only white people in the room > they didn't hear us say "Android" > mfw

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Perfectly balanced | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/14/21(Tue)12:40:50 No.868599778 >I WILL shriek like a retarded baboon at the first notion of danger >I WILL drive poorly and cause the majority of traffic accidents >I WILL make my offspring everybody else's problem >I WILL cause workplace drama at 205 KB PNG every place of employment I ever get Do fembots really? : Anonymous 12/14/21(Tue)12:55:31 No.868600471 >I WILL shoot up my job or school >I WILL refuse to talk to women then get mad at women for being in relationships >I WILL knock a girl up and then 11 KB PNG leave >I WILL commit more violent crime than females >I WILL be more prone to anger and beat my fists when I'm made like an ape >I WILL refuse to get a job and just play video games all day Do men really?
: Anonymous 12/14/21(Tue)12:40:50 No.868599778 >I WILL shriek like a retarded baboon at the first notion of danger >I WILL drive poorly and cause the majority of traffic accidents >I WILL make my offspring everybody else's problem >I WILL cause workplace drama at 205 KB PNG every place of employment I ever get Do fembots really? : Anonymous 12/14/21(Tue)12:55:31 No.868600471 >I WILL shoot up my job or school >I WILL refuse to talk to women then get mad at women for being in relationships >I WILL knock a girl up and then 11 KB PNG leave >I WILL commit more violent crime than females >I WILL be more prone to anger and beat my fists when I'm made like an ape >I WILL refuse to get a job and just play video games all day Do men really?

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Anon doesn't like barney | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/13/21(Mon)21:32:07 No.868573624 >l hate you >You hate me >Let's get together and kill Barney >With a knife in his ass and a bullet in his head >Now l'm glad that Barney's 130 KB JPG dead View Thread
: Anonymous 12/13/21(Mon)21:32:07 No.868573624 >l hate you >You hate me >Let's get together and kill Barney >With a knife in his ass and a bullet in his head >Now l'm glad that Barney's 130 KB JPG dead View Thread

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I hope your cat has a long happy life with you anon. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/14/21(Tue)06:24:41 No.581452764 >>581449410_(OP)_# >real girls like me >l don't like real girls (or boys) >only girl I can tolerate is a socially awkward Jesus freak >just want to go home and play 845 KB JPG with my cat >cat is 10 years old which means he's middle aged already I wish he would live forever >>581453991 # >>581454248 # >>581463186 #
: Anonymous 12/14/21(Tue)06:24:41 No.581452764 >>581449410_(OP)_# >real girls like me >l don't like real girls (or boys) >only girl I can tolerate is a socially awkward Jesus freak >just want to go home and play 845 KB JPG with my cat >cat is 10 years old which means he's middle aged already I wish he would live forever >>581453991 # >>581454248 # >>581463186 #

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